A Frank dismissal

0:00We kissed as though nothing could fall everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! Szczesko rescued a point and Spurs were booed again. It's Wednesday 11th at the fair by Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Luke Moore.

0:24Hello everybody, welcome to your wonderful Wednesday here at the Football Ramble. and thanks to friend of the Ramble, Metin, for giving us that intro line. The Metin man delivered some David Bowie for us. Yes, he did. Appreciate that. Very nice. If you want to submit an intro line for a future episode and get an extended edition of today's show, then become a friend of the Ramble on our Patreon. Don't delay. Just head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved now. And they're all our friends, aren't they? Thousands of them are on there. They're all our friends. Thousands of our favourite friends.

0:54It's good to be back on the show today. I've been on since last Wednesday maybe that's it and every time I miss two or three shows just for scheduling reasons because producer really doesn't put me on I always get a load of accusations that I'm somehow hiding because some other football events happened took a cowardice on my part and this week it was good to see you back on the show presumably you don't want to be on because Arsenal won again it's like okay it's not really out I'll let you behind the curtain here how it actually works is that we all spend the night together in a big bed. Yeah.

1:28And then in the morning we decide who's going to be on the show. Who doesn't fancy it? Who does fancy it? Pete decides who's been jizzed on the most. And they have to be on the show. Jim? Yeah, so I take full responsibility. Graham Sooners would always say that I'd go home. No matter what the opposition done, I'd look myself in the mirror and say, what could I have done differently? Exactly. What could I have done better? You mentioned a bed. You mentioned all of us here. And the old banter beast, Luke Moore, is back on the pod. I thought it was lord banter why have I been demoted I've been stripped of my lord shit because that because that kind of thing gets you chucked out the house of lords you've gone from lord to beast I'm now Luke Mountbatte-Windsor I've been stripped of all my titles just for saying that Pete wants to use Dom Marcus and then here it goes again there we are again I'm sorry everyone however if you do become a friend of the ramble by signing up to our Patreon there is a sort of a weekly raffle and the lucky winner gets to go in the bed with us yeah no that's the loser By the way, speaking of that, I'll promise you it's the last time I'll mention any kind of effluvia on the show.

2:28Okay, stop. Look, Thomas Frank hasn't been sacked. Stop stalling until he does. We'll be waiting for him. Did you know that Pete announced to me once on the Luke and Pete show that he first ejaculated while playing Hero Quest? I call you a fan of it. Like, seriously, I'm looking at the producers to stage an intervention at this stage. I don't think you're appreciating that enough, Marcus. That was worth it. That was worth it, wasn't it? Yeah. That was worth it. I don't really know what Hero Quest is, but I don't feel like I need to. I assume it's a computer game. It's the board game. It's like the board game where you, it's like a fantasy board game where you adopt a different character to go around slaying like goblins and stuff.

3:04Anyway, goodbye new listeners. Right, Marcus, that's got rid of all the chaff. That's right. Let's get into the stuff now. I know. I know the hardcore would be still in after that. Yeah, who still wants to be friends with us? Anyway, right. Five pound a month. Five pounds a month. We have to start properly now at the Tottenham Hotspur Arena. Spurs 1, Newcastle United 2. Spurs were booed off again. There were chance of you getting sacked in the morning. Well, at the time of recording, right now, Thomas Frank is still the Spurs manager. I've got the BBC website on my laptop, though, so I'll keep you posted.

3:38Yeah, good man. Another abject performance from Spurs. Really poor. Really, really poor. I'm really... I don't know why I'm still surprised that they perform like this based on how they've been all season, but I was really struck by how passive it was. There's so little kind of energy. And I looked at the running stats and Stat News put Spurs 18th for distance covered per 90, which is above only West Ham and Wolves. And if it wasn't for Conor Gallagher, they probably knew 90. Yeah, well, absolutely. And Valdez Venn. Most stats are Valdez Venn recovery runs. That's probably just his stride. Yeah.

4:13It's not even running. and that makes sense because you look at that and you just think this is a team who are sleepwalking through the season and it doesn't look like they're fighting for Thomas Frank or for themselves really. It feels absolutely directionless and obviously it's a good win for Newcastle but it almost felt like an IKEA flat pack win didn't it? You just sort of you just kind of just remain patient and you just put it together and everything will be fine. That's not how I see IKEA furniture. Well no but that's how you should approach it isn't it? Argue with your partner storm out the room let them do it and then come back and when it's done well there you go it's basically what Spurs trying to do but it's not done it comes back and it's still on the floor everywhere right I mean it's a tortured analogy and Jim started it again Marcus don't look at me don't blame me I'm just saying Luke that you have had a kind of start to this pod like Spurs had last night yeah well I'll turn it around the second half please do also no no I won't I mean Spurs were I mean what's the style of play that's the first point what's the style of play there is no style Sit off.

5:15There's no style of play, is there? There's no style of play. I mean, even sit off would be some sort of tactic. And this is why that you can talk about the board, rightly so, at Spurs. You can talk about the players who've got to take their share of the blame and so on and so forth. Thomas Frank is not getting any kind of tune out of them at all. Any more, brother. Okay, in the Champions League, fair enough, but we're not talking about the Champions League, we're talking about the Premier League, okay? It's piss poor. and that this was the epitome of Newcastle United having a bad time and the old meme I know it's very tired but I'm going to say it anyway you know Dr.

5:51Tottenham will see you now it is precisely because their record away time is really poor indeed it's precisely what Newcastle needed and you saw Eddie Howe passionately celebrating front of the away fans and them celebrating you know three points and rightly so because they need that Newcastle United and it was dished up to them served on a platter in the first half Newcastle absolutely had the run of the place they were finding so much space so many gaps like right hand side in particular and then when Spurs equalised in the second half the way Newcastle were just like hang on what no we're not having this essentially they just you know put in the minimal effort required and straight away they score and then obviously after that the only real period of quality Spurs have is because Newcastle were just managing the game and kind of letting them have the ball a little bit more there was a period in about maybe 10 minutes before Spurs scored where they're in the game.

6:41But a 10-minute period at home in a game as serious as that, that's the only time where they really turned up to it. It must be absolutely maddening to watch that. Totally. Because you look at Frank and think, yeah, he needs to be getting more out of these players. Of course he does. There is a large portion of blame has to go to him on the evidence we've seen and the amount of time we've seen it for. But at the same time, why aren't those players just trying harder? It's such a strange one, Jim. You know, the running stats that you just gave a moment ago, So Frank himself has the lowest win percentage of any Spurs manager in the Premier League year at 26.9%.

7:16The complete lack of trying, the losses, all of this stuff, it's unbelievably piss poor. I understand they've got injuries totally, but I would say though... It's more than that. Of course it's more than that because Newcastle United themselves, was it last season when they had loads of injuries? I think you could take a lot of teams in the Premier League and you could give them that injury list, right? And yes, they would drop points and they wouldn't get the results. But you could still see an attempted style of play by any given manager. You could see what the manager would be trying to do, wouldn't be able to do it perhaps because he doesn't have one or two of those, a handful of players, whatever.

7:59This is, it's... We talked about Palace the other day drifting, you know or not just drifting falling towards relegation now they got a great win against Brighton but you'd think Glasner and the troops you know getting Strand Larsen's in Strand Larsen I think does give them a little bit of a lift Spurs right now with West Ham getting a few more points we'll talk about them in a bit this is this is panic stations definitely bad because the lack of style of play the lack of effort I said to you guys on WhatsApp last night I kind of kept half an eye on how many times Spurs won like a second ball, particularly in their own penalty area.

8:37It was, I mean, I couldn't detect one until like the 85th minute or something and the amount of times Newcastle, because Newcastle had about 10 corners in the first half, didn't they? And the sheer amount of them that would be head of the way, as you kind of expect, because statistics around corner kicks are kind of like that. Defensive players do get their heads on a lot of them. The ball would drop maybe just around the edge of the penalty area. So Newcastle players queue it up. And it's almost like the only way Spurs could kind of engage was just to be totally reactive. We'll just block that shot.

9:07We'll block that other shot and then we'll win that header. And as soon as the ball came to them, they didn't know what to do with it. They got, like I said, no style of play whatsoever. And on the running stats, I mean, the fact that they're 18th out of 20, Jim, I didn't know that. That kind of sets alarm bells ringing as well because you can look at this injury thing one of two ways. You know, you can say, okay, well, they've got a lot of players out so that's tough for them. That is true. Let's not forget, you know, one of the reasons they've got a key player out and their captain out is because he's an idiot and that happened and that cost them last night as well because Dragos is not up to it but the other way you can look at it is what an amazing opportunity for these players who try to break on the first team and no one's expecting them to be of the same quality as maybe a player who's coming for a lot of money like a Xavi Simmonds or a Conor Gallagher or whatever but you can at least run your heart out you can at least make it difficult for Newcastle who aren't very good on the road all the conversation partly because people are bored about talking about Thomas Frank losing his job.

10:02But a lot of the conversation, I mean, I listened to Five Live in the build-up to the game last night. They did about 15 minutes on whether Eddie Howe's going to keep his job. He's not having a great time of it. Only their third away win in the Premier League. Sure, exactly. And then they come to town and it's honestly so easy for them. It's red carpet stuff. It's honestly red carpet stuff. The reason why they only won 2-1 is because they're not having a good time. Yeah. Otherwise, that would have been... There was a really marginal offside decision for Joe Willock. Yeah. Forehead, wasn't it? I've never seen that before.

10:29No, same. a slice of forehead offside. But I've never seen a kind of offside so close with such an odd body part. But at the same time, you can't, because what people will say is, oh, well, you know, it wasn't a goal, so forget it. I understand that. But it wasn't a goal because of any kind of, not a goal because of any kind of good defender in my spurs. It was just pure luck, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they sprang the lock and they were in. And it was a good finish. It was just very fortunate. Yeah, it's really, really worrying times for Spurs and I think a lot of people are in the mindset of well they won't get relegated because they're Spurs and look every game for them now looks tough they are they are ticking every box that suggests that they have a really bad like a really decent chance yeah this will probably be the biggest the biggest chance in their history of being relegated from the Premier League but they're not going to beat Arsenal they're Arsenal are streets ahead of them despite the fact that Spurs have got a big rest between now and then.

11:30Arsenal have three games between now and playing now. Jim, Spurs would bite every limb off you have for a point. Of course they would. But you see them, I mean, do you see them getting a, I mean, the only game over the next four or five weeks, maybe six weeks that you think they should win would be at home to Palace. And even that. Yeah, absolutely. Because they're not going to beat Arsenal. You wouldn't fancy them at Craven Cottage. You wouldn't fancy them at Anfield. You wouldn't fancy them against a Forest team that's fighting for their lives and you wouldn't fancy them at Sunderland. I think it's so tepid, again, with that running stat because you look at the teams around them, Leeds, we will talk about them getting a precious point at Chelsea.

12:09They've been showing something. Forest, I mean, they've only lost one in the last five, Forest. We've been critical of them and I think rightly so. If you're trying to be kind of, you know, positive about them, then even though I think Forest are in big trouble, is familiar with that end of the table. Okay? You might argue Frank is as well, but not with Spurs. West Ham are showing something. Spurs right now, and I understand a win can change things because, you know, Brighton are only two points above Spurs and I don't think for a moment Brighton are going to be relegated. Spurs are sleepwalking.

12:45Yeah, even though Brighton... They're not making a decision. They basically have to fire the manager between now and the Arsenal game. I agree with you totally. If he's in the job of the Arsenal game, They're going to get crucified, and it's going to rapidly get to the point where they're not going to turn it around. I can't believe that. He should have gone around Christmas time if you're being... That's the last time they won a game, by the way. The reason they didn't get fired at Christmas time is because they beat Palace just after Christmas. That's the last time they won a league game. At least a month ago or something, because now it's almost like it's gone on too long.

13:14Now, there's always a chance if you bring in somebody else, but they are, as you say, sleepwalking towards relegation. The only thing you might say is, oh well is there anybody you know is there anybody to come in there will always be somebody because it's a huge Premier League side I understand you might not be able to get the best in Europe you know you're not going to get Jaby free agent Jaby Alonso do you know what I mean you're not going to be able to get anybody big or anybody particularly good I would suggest however you would be able to get somebody who would be able to get more of a tune out of these players because right now under Frank if Frank stays in this job Spurs are in a relegation palace do you think part of the reason that they've not sacked him yet is precisely because of the injury record because he's never been able to put his best team out you've got Kiloszewski and Madison have been missing the whole season I'm just trying to make sense I think they're incompetent I just don't know what they're doing I think that's it and I think they're almost a bit like oh you know we've chopped and changed you know the fans yeah I don't really know it's all that bollocks you know what's the old quote from I forget US president or whatever you know not the current one I don't think I'm going to I'm not going to quote him anytime soon I am not a crook that's Richard Nixon very nice at any moment of you know crisis or whatever the best thing you can do is the right thing the second best thing you can do is the worst thing and the worst thing you can do is nothing and they've done nothing and let me tell you another reason why it would be good to suck the manager because whoever you get in if they're of some level of competence they have almost like they have the space and the right to say this is where you now are and I'm here because you couldn't fucking get it done and so you need to listen to me and you might not like it.

14:50You might not like the fact that we're going to put 10 men behind the ball at home and we're going to try and nick something. But we've got loads of players out. We're in the shit and you've brought me in to do it. And my task is to keep you in the Premier League. I don't think they are going to get Sean Dyson. I've come back from Dubai for this. Redknapp. Be Redknapp. Be Harry Redknapp. Do you know what though? I'll do it for free. No, but Redknapp, I know this is a ridiculous, Redknapp would do a better job. I don't know. We don't know because we don't know what he's like now. That's where we are now.

15:13And what I feel a bit of a shame for Thomas... Which red nap? Any red nap. They've both got sketches on. They do. At least they'll be relaxed. They'll have to bend over and put their shoes on. At least they'll have a spring in their state. But I think with Thomas Frank, what I kind of find a bit sad in the modern era of football, it's not like it used to be where managers would resign and they would walk, think poor old Kevin Keegan, you know, or whoever. They always stay in the job, don't they? Partly because there's a pride thing, and I get that they want to turn it around they don't want to basically concede defeat I totally understand that there's also the financial side of things as well I would love it if Thomas Frank went no do you know I've had enough I'm walking because I think that his stock has fallen there's any doubt about that but his stock would fall further if he did that though surely not for me Jim not for you and who is he performing to ultimately who are we all performing to ultimately he wants to film you after Silver Fox off in the summer yes well there you go come back to West London but I mean Frank himself, you know, to the point of, look, I don't like to highlight too much what, you know, a reporter or a presenter or something has done.

16:23But on TNT Sports, he was asked some, I thought. I thought that was a bit full on. I thought there was some unfair questions from the reporter who was asking questions such as, do you think the supporters who are booing you and chanting get sacked them on? do you think that will influence the board who you've just said have not said anything to you? And interestingly, when they went back to the presenter of Pundits, Mikel Antonio immediately said, yeah, I thought the line of questioning there was quite full on. And you saw Frank, the glare he gave him after. Frank is under intense pressure. And I just, I don't like to see it.

16:56I don't like to see a manager like that. And I think, mate, do you know what? Just get out of there. I thought it was full on. I didn't think it was, you know, people have said it was unfair. You just said it was unfair. I'm not sure it was unfair because he's not I mean he asked the same question three times and he cut it differently and I thought it was a touch but we're all we're all in the same circus here and we all understand that people in the protagonists of this sport get paid a huge amount of money for this scrutiny and they are within their rights as you said in an earlier point to walk away if I don't want to do it it's the same principle for me as the Gerrard don't film me when I upset bullshit you're on the football pitch mate you're literally standing on a football pitch in your kit yeah but don't follow him home yeah absolutely don't do that but it's a post-match interview Frank could have taken the fine he could have just not done it and taken the fine he fronted up and fair play to him great glare though but it's those fans who are paying£95 a ticket to sing to chant what they want to chant and I don't think it's unfair what they were chanting and I thought it was it was robust and it was pretty full on as I say but if Frank doesn't like it he has other options he does have other options not at the moment though just seems to have one option he doesn't have any options when it comes to players well he's got two options stay or go stay or go well as you say Spurs it's 12 days until the next match against Arsenal but they haven't won in 8 Premier League games worst run since 2008 and Destiny Adoggy has been ruled out for a month after suffering a hamstring injury yeah Odeberg looked like he got a knee twist as well which is bad yeah it's not getting any better for them is it it is all doom and gloom at the moment for Tottenham Hotspur but it was 3 points for Newcastle United Eddie Howe as I said passionately celebrated in front of the away fans after the match he did say the other day that he would quit as Newcastle United manager if he no longer believed he was the right man for the job.

18:37Why doesn't the reporter say, are you still the right man for the job? It sounds dramatic. How about now? It sounds dramatic, that kind of phrasing, until you realise that there's no point between now and the heat death of the universe that Eddie Howe's not going to think he's the right man for the job. It doesn't actually matter in practice. He's very good at this, Howe, isn't he? Getting a win when the pressure is starting to make people start to question him. It feels like it's about the millionth time that's happened while he's been in charge at Newcastle. Yeah, it's different to last season, though, because last season, if you remember around Christmas time, there were doubts and then they went on that run they won the cup and so on and so forth it's only three points off sixth or something you know it's just getting to the point now where you can start to look at the table Marcus has been doing it since August but I only start doing it around February time and I think it is relevant to say have you been unaware what's been going on I've not even checked it blimey so you're tallied it up now yeah Portsmouth the Premier League Newcastle they're well better than the 2-1 scoreline suggests they didn't need to be very good they've rested players for this game they've got a busy period coming up have got FA Cup haven't they and gets Villa away I think and they've got Carabag in the Champions League they should beat Carabag but it's another step for them in the Champions League because of course they're fairly new to it last time they qualified went out in the group stage so he's managing a lot of different expectations and it was massively important for him to win hence the celebration yeah and nice goal for Ramsey who was celebrated with feeling I think he's been frustrated hasn't he he has been frustrated but in the build up to the goal beautiful work from Anthony Gordon excellent you know after scoring at Anfield another assist there but an example of what Jim was talking about in the passivity of Spurs players they just don't engage just running seems to be a good idea alright coming up after this old Frankie baby he's not getting a haircut

20:27you know everything was a challenge I'd eat an apple watching the TV at night and the bin would be by the TV, you know, six metres away or whatever it was. And, well, I would just do it. I had the bravery to miss and for there to be a stain on the wallpaper and my mum to absolutely scream at me. But the next day I'd do the same and I'd be bump and it'd go right in the middle and my dad would give me a nod of approval and my mum would be seething but couldn't say anything because it went in. Welcome back to the football. Couldn't say anything. I love that. I've got it in. I've got it in mum shut up Simon Jordan who I like gets a lot of credit for being a really bombastic kind of straight talking on this broadcast yeah he did that a lot yesterday yeah he did absolutely but that's probably what was front of mind he's also overseen that hasn't he he's not interrupted Michael Owen and said sorry Michael what are you talking about which he absolutely should and that's to his discredit I think yeah that was just after Michael Owen shot an apple on top of his head with a bow and arrow yeah because Talking to the sort of famous sayings, Marcus, as you did before the break, as the famous saying goes, all that needs to happen for Michael Owen to get away with this shit is for...

21:41Good men to do nothing. Good men to sit around and do nothing. Or Simon Jordan. Yeah, or Simon Jordan to sit around and do nothing. Michael Owen has recently revealed that he once shared a bunk bed with then Prime Minister David Cameron in a plane en route to Afghanistan. Bunk bed in a plane, that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite a confusing sentence. Yeah, so he visited Camp Bastion with David Cameron in 2013 to give the troops a little bit of a lift before Christmas. Oh, my God. They'd be rushing back out to combat. Yeah, is that the point of it? Oh, who have we got just before Christmas? Cheer us up.

22:15David Cameron and Mike Oloey. Is it really so good back in Britain? Yeah, I'll be thinking, unless it's some kind of extrajudicial execution, this is not going to cheer me up. Oh, I think you misunderstand the situation, gentlemen. Why? Well I think that a Prime Minister visiting the troops would Were they doing numbers together or something? Like what was the Yeah was it was it like the producers? Michael Owen did apparently watch some of the troops have a game of football I can't believe Michael don't get involved you'll only get injured I can't believe that in 2013 with a group of soldiers who have gone out there put their lives on the line every single day and their reward to be cheered up a little before Christmas is getting to watch Michael Owen throw an apple core in a bin that is not entertainment back in Vietnam they get all sorts of stuff going on is he lecturing them about bravery maybe yeah maybe he is that could be it I've got the bravery to throw this apple core in the bin what have you ever done well anyway the bunkways were on a plane just behind the pilots apparently yeah which is I've never been on a plane like that that's not a comfortable night's sleep is it no well as Michael said as Michael said David Cameron had first dibs and chose the top bunk incidentally which apparently surprised Michael Owen but there we are is that surprising David Cameron had the bravery to get up in the top bunk.

23:29Yeah. I'm in charge, yeah. And Michael Owen's mum was standing there, but she couldn't say anything. She couldn't say anything. I wonder if she'd have an opinion on that lovely Sheshko equaliser for Manchester United. It ended between the United's 1-1, West Ham and Manchester. Man United's still unbeaten under Michael Carrick. However, they failed to reach five wins in a row and Frank Illitt's hair continues to grow. There was a moment when the equaliser went in And then about 30 things like it, Man United broke forward. It was like, haircut's on. Yeah. I think West Ham were playing like a team who simply refused to be a sideshow to a haircut and fair play to them.

24:06Wayne Rooney's got pissed off about it. Have you seen that? No. Wayne Rooney was doing, yeah, he just does podcasts now. Oh, yeah. Which is a bit rich coming from me. But Wayne Rooney's actually had a career, you know. He was saying that this guy, by the way, this guy, I didn't even know his real name until yesterday when I saw this running order last night. I didn't know he was called Frank. That's beside the point. Rooney was saying we should get this guy out of our discourse he was basically I want to get this guy I want to drive him to the other side of the country and never talk about him again well he lives in Spain now so he's done his part because apparently Michael Carrick and Mayanite there's a big story and Mayanite are doing quite well he's great and all the rest of it and we shouldn't be talking about an internet man's hair I'm not surprised by that at all I think we should be is it because Wayne's had his own hair problems is it cutting too close to the bone for him I think it might be one of many issues but I think the one he stated is probably the main one isn't it because it has become a massive distraction.

24:57Yeah, Michael Carrick was asked about this and he said, yeah, my kids have made me aware of it and makes me smile, but it certainly won't make its way into the team talk from a professional standpoint. I don't think it's going to be affecting the team at all, obviously. Bruno Fernandes sort of pied it off after the... Why are they being asked about it? Yeah, well, this is it, isn't it? And that's the problem. It's fine for us to talk about it, I think. But as a Man United fan, wouldn't you just be absolutely sick of it by now? You know, he seems like a really nice guy, this fella. It feels to me.

25:23What he does with his own head is up to him, isn't it? Yeah, but it feels to me that he's created a monster. He doesn't even like it. He doesn't think he would get this far, of course, yeah. But I think, I would imagine a lot of Man United fans are just so bored of it and it just makes them look a bit silly even when they're on a really brilliant winning run. Do you think he, because he said that he... Thomas Frank's gone. Oh! Thomas Frank's gone. It's happened again. Thomas Frank's gone. It's happened on the show live again. Thomas Frank's gone. You see? There we go. I've seen if we did Spurs after the break it would happen.

25:52He has to go before the Arsenal game. He's done now. Well, they've done something. They found the P45 in all the papers. Hey, we've got to give the Spurs board credit, haven't we? Yeah, for doing it while we're on the show. That's fantastic. Twice in a season. Blimey. Times are a-changing, Jim. Yeah, that's never happened once. Who's reporting it, Rory? Ornstein? It's Ornstein. Ornstein is done. It's absolutely rock-solid stuff. I'll message him again. What should I send him this time? Are you Orny? Yeah, I won't say that. Oh, okay. Coward. Coward. Yeah, I'll say thanks for breaking it while we're on the show.

26:24Yeah. Okay. You carry on. Okay, fine, I'm fine. Yeah, I don't know why I was waiting for you to do that. But who are the favourites now to take over from Thomas Frank? We will get back to, I think we finished with the hair man. We'll get back to Manchester United and West Ham in a moment. But, yeah, I mean, I have to say that the line of questioning from the TNT reporter when he said, are the fans going to influence the board in their thinking? Well, it turns out that was a fair question to ask. so I apologise to the TNT reporter who was digging away there. And he's off. Because in retrospect now, the TNT reporter, it looks like he was just saying, look, come on.

27:03This is ridiculous. Do you think he was saying that for Spurs fans? He was like, look, Thomas, this is going to happen. For your own sake, Thomas. You go straight home from here. It's easier. You haven't got to go all the way up to the Spurs train ground. Well, I'm pleased that Frankie's been put out of his misery. Yeah, I've messaged Ornstein, who's next in the Spurs? Let me break the news, you absolute coward. See if Ornstein will do the right thing and let us break it. Right, okay. But who are the names being chucked out there at the moment? The favourite is Pochettino and I'll tell you why that's going to be the case.

27:31Imagine if he left on the eve of the World Cup. Well, he won't do that, will he, clearly. But what will almost certainly happen... Timothy Ware would like him to do it. Yeah, he would. What would almost certainly happen... Well, Pochettino, obviously, he might get detained by ice at this rate. Aren't they in Milan? He's not an American citizen. Okay. Yeah, but the situation will be that Spurs will find some absolute mug to caretaker them to the end of the season. It'll hopefully deliver Premier League football for them because obviously if it doesn't, all bets are off anyway. I don't think Pochettino is going to be excited about the curtain raiser against Norwich on a Friday night at the start of August or end of July.

28:08But if they're in the Premier League, Pochettino will be the next Spurs manager. You can see it a mile off because you see... Now, I don't consume any of Jake Humphrey's content for reasons of which are totally obvious, but he was on Humphrey's podcast last week and throughout the entire episode he's referring to Spurs as we who told you that I just saw a couple of clips I have them redacted I have Humphrey's contribution redacted and I just get to see the guest it's a special service do you have someone doing the voice of Jake Humphrey for you yeah like Gerry Adams really couldn't be heard on the news it's like that I get a voice actor it's a voice actor Department of Justice doesn't for me they've redacted the stuff I don't want to see and so I think Pochettino's got us on it and I think it will be an absolutely tragic thing for Spurs to do because they just can't move on because it's almost like I said this to you before the girlfriend they had at school in their hometown who never let him down and now they want her back because they've been bruised by the big wide world they've been the girl off and then they're like how do you know actually all these years later because that is it they sacked him you remember they did sack him they'll get him back that would be my take what do you guys think I wonder if Roberto Deserbi might be an obvious and easy fit he's just been sacked by Marseille he's available But that's a permanent appointment, Jim, isn't it?

29:22Sure, yeah. He's definitely got a style of play. The board flail around, don't they? They don't seem to know what they're doing. I think you're probably right. There's something in the idea of them maybe being tempted by the idea of Pochettino again, but if they want to be decisive and they want to kind of just start a new era now, maybe he's the way to go. Yeah. I just think... Get Amorim in there. There's... No, there's a style of play, apparently. there's there's you know there is a chance that they are so incompetent that they will just have gone oh does Herbie's available exactly people quite like him pull the trigger how about this for a shout they get Robbie Keane in for the end until the end of the season and then reassess but Robbie Keane he's in a full time job yeah is he going to take a six month job possibly it's a shop window isn't it yeah where's Robbie Keane managing right now he is managing in Turkey no in Hungary in Hungary yes right Ferenc Varos yeah who are a big club yeah in Hungary but would he trade that for six months at Spurs?

30:20I think so. Okay. Because it gets him in the shop window. It's suddenly, it's Premier League experience and people are desperate for, you know, money reasons, for whatever reason to get into the Premier League. Also a former player, blah, de blah, de blah. And he can get the job until Carrick gets binned off at Man United and returns to Spurs. No, I think that, I think that, you know, if you look at the names that are in the running for the Spurs manager, you say Pochettino's number one. He's not going to take it until after the summer. That's obvious. Roberto Di Zerbi, I think would be a decent appointment, although how many times have we said that about recent Spurs managers I thought that about Frank it would be a permanent position De Zerbi would say he would want at least an 18 month contract there you would think Xavi Hernandez is being linked yeah I can't see that Oliver Glasner it's basically just like that's just Xavi Hernandez or Xavi Alonso whatever it's like me just DMing Anne Hathaway on Instagram yeah she ain't gonna read it no and even if she does read it she's gonna go who's that fucking loser no thanks my favourite name in the odds is Michael Carrick yeah I like that do you imagine could you imagine yeah I'll go yeah I'll go I'll pop along my work is done at Man United I think no we're absolutely serious we are going to keep calling but that's what I mean of all the names there you go down like Enzo Mareska's not going to go there you know he's thinking is there a chance for Man City we know that Scott Parker come on they're not going to go the only name in there nice to see Ralph Rangnick's name in there though Specs yeah oi get your bike out lad come on you can travel on the tube with it not off peak I mean he's quite low down but he is mentioned I mean Diego Simeone come on I tell you so Robbie Keane I think until the end of the season would be that is I've not heard anything has Ornstein said anything has he already released it Ornstein says the following Ornstein says Thomas Frank Sack is Tottenham Halsper head coach Spurs working through various possible contingency plans to replace 52 year old Dana's club sit five points above the relegation and that's in a private message to you no it's on Twitter yeah he hasn't replied yeah he wouldn't he wouldn't write that formal interview They reply about two weeks' time.

32:16I mean, all right, mate, how you doing? Well, the only other option is John Heitinger steps up and he's given the number one. We don't know what's the detail of what staff he's taking with him and all that kind of stuff now. But I know it's a different hierarchy in place at Spurs, but I would just urge a bit of caution because if you don't like the kind of bombastic nature and all the kind of drama that comes along with a Mourinho or a Conte, you ain't going to like De Zerbe. De Zerbe is an absolute character. and he will eat people alive if he's given the opportunity. And I think the guys on the OTC have talked about him.

32:50And we saw a bit of it at Brighton as well, really, to be fair. So that would be a risk. I just think they won't, because what it's also about is the optics, of course, right? And they'll think about things like Champions League final. Some great wins. But they're still in the Champions League as well. Some finishes in the Premier League which were very, very different to 17th or whatever. And they won't be able to resist. off the back of a World Cup. Having an interim, back of a World Cup, Pochettino back. Here he is. Here's your guy back. You wanted him. Everyone loves him, apparently. Here he is.

33:23And the whole thing will just continue. So, I mean, with regard to whoever the interim manager is, you know, we can look at the situation in the Premier League. Lest we forget, they're in the last 16 of the Champions League. Now, I think we've just sort of covered it, why certain managers perhaps wouldn't go there because they'll want a permanent contract or they might not take it until after the summer. But that's a great opportunity, isn't it? But I mean, you know, you've got to look at that and think, blimey O 'Reilly. It's massive for the title race as well, Jim. Big new manager bounce for North London Derby.

33:50Do you not think this one's a hard one to call though? Who's going to go in there? Because on one hand, you said earlier what you said about... I think it'll just be interim. It doesn't matter. Fine, but you said what you said earlier about, you know, someone gets in there and is in a relegation scrap. And at the same time, you have relegation scrap and knockout football in the Chapman's. It's such an odd situation. Do they, you know... Yeah, I think whoever comes in isn't going to really stick to it. Get the firefighter in there. I don't think anyone coming in is going to take the idea of them being in a relegation scrap seriously, even if from what we've seen on the pitch, they appear to be in that.

34:23I think whoever is going to come in is going to have enough about them to look at that squad and go, look, we can motor out of this. And I think that's probably more realistic than them actually ending up fighting for their lives towards the end of the season. Well, one of the sides down there with them, of course, is West Ham. Let's go back to them. Spurs stealing West Ham's attention. Just in their limelight. and the Michael Carrick derby yes it finished 1-0 we've already said that yeah West Ham were so close they were so close to joining Forest on 26 points they're just two points off of Sean Dyche's side now wow blimey it was a funny game wasn't it it was neither side wanted to lose it and Casemiro was unfortunate with his disallowed goals yeah another one of those ones you've taken up the Spurs one could have gone either way it was quite sort of a bit of a standoff in that first half I think Man United aware that West Ham have improved West Ham aware that Manchester United have improved as well.

35:12But Manchester United, you know, they go a goal down. Suchik scores not long after the first half. And I'll tell you something, Jim, whatever that stadium's called, the London Stadium, it sounded amazing, didn't it? It really did. From the TV, I thought, flipping Nora, you haven't heard it sound like that for a while. Yeah, maybe the Europa League run they had and obviously some of the Conference League games where that stadium was rocking and was amazing. But yeah, I mean, they love the big occasions though, don't they? West Ham and they love to sort of bloody the nose of one of the big boys.

35:43Indeed, but the context is a few weeks ago, you could have never envisaged that. The way that they were all set up. Five minutes to go, you know, about the 85th minute. They're singing, you know. They're pushing for a second at times as well. Well, they were. I mean, and they're trying to sing, they were trying to sing them over the line and they were mightily, mightily close. But you've got to hand it to Nuno, who, let's be honest, I thought he was, I thought he was going to go. Yeah. I thought West Ham, again, they are, it's only going in one direction. but he's managed to arrest it. Yes, they're still in the relegation places but he's got them going.

36:14Yeah, and there was talk, wasn't there, that he was kind of surly on the training ground. People didn't understand his tactical instructions. Some people felt ostracized, didn't understand their place in the team. Maybe it's still like that but it doesn't look like it, does it? Maybe, I don't know, started bringing celebrations in for everybody or just started making a little bit more effort but he has really, really turned it around and despite the nature of losing or conceding that goal late on, that's still a really good point. which I think a lot of people would have been happy with before the game.

36:40So it's still forward momentum. They showed so much steel. They look a really different prospect at home now. Well, defensively. It's night and day. Night and day. Sassi's clearly made a difference there very quickly. He had another good game. But they do seem a lot more organised. A lot more what you'd expect from a Nuno team, really. Yeah. Which shouldn't be a surprise. The only odd thing is how long it took him to do it. But they're doing it now. And there's enough time for him to save them, of course. He's also got a bit of a tune out of Somerville. Yeah. More than a bit of a tune. It's a full symphony.

37:12Yeah, it is. They've won six Premier League games this season. Three of them have been in their last five games. So if they maintain that form, they're not even going to be considered for relegation. I mean, it's a big ask. It's a big if, of course. That's the real worry. Not to take this back to Spurs because we've moved on from talking about them. But the worry is that the other teams are showing things and West Ham are definitely showing things. It's realistically going to be one spot available and West Ham they do look competitive and that's really what you're looking for when you get into this kind of march time which isn't that far away now of course you're looking about how competitive a team is and a bit of momentum as well you can really kind of turbo boost your way out of things and they look like they're going to be starting to do that I mean they've won three of their last five one of which was of course against Spurs but even that loss against Chelsea like we were saying that was a narrow one as well it was a narrow one and the fact that they did have the lead.

38:06You know, they could have, you know, Mr. Sit late on and so on and so forth. They're competitive again. They've got the fight back in them. They're organised, as you were saying there, Jim, defensively much better than they were, again, just a number of weeks ago. It was a guaranteed result when you were going to West Ham or playing them. That's stopped now. And it really is. No more vouchers for anyone. No, I don't think. Funfair's closed. Yeah, I don't think there are any, there's too many. I mean, maybe the Spurs voucher still there. No, Wolves are a voucher again. Are they? Yeah, they've lost the last three in a row.

38:36Spurs seem like a voucher. Yeah, I think Spurs... Spurs are an unknown quantity now, aren't they? We don't know if the new management is going to honour those vouchers. Imagine if they just don't appoint a manager. Just don't get round to it. Not bothered. Just argue about it for so long, they just don't do it. Don't do it. I'm going to the North London Derby on the 22nd. Are you really? And I am fascinated now to see how this works out. Because if they do this and get a big bounce and a big performance and they beat Arsenal, I don't think there's much chance of that. But it changes the dial now, the fact that Frank's no longer there because he was a busted flush and we all know it.

39:08If that means that it starts to derail Arsenal's title, that would be a fascinating bit of narrative for me. It's not going to happen, is it? I sincerely hope not. You don't want to commit to it not happening. I don't want to jinx it even though I don't believe in jinxes. No, fair enough. That's very wise of you, Jim. Very wise. But yeah, West Ham, they're on the march. I don't think there's any doubt about that. Now, before we move on from this game and go for a break. Did you enjoy that it was being reported that certain Man United players and members of the coaching staff believed they still had a real chance of winning the Premier League?

39:39Why did they say that before a game? They said that before a game and they just instantly don't win. Yeah. I love that even though the travails they've been through and the difficult times they've had, that Man United arrogance is still just below the surface. And they win four games in a row and they go, we're going to win the title. We're going to win the title. Is it arrogance or belief? The training ground logic behind it is surely that they've just beaten the top two in the country. so why can't we go and beat everyone but obviously West Ham decided they weren't going to let them do that they won't win the league I'm not saying they can't win it although I think they can't they definitely won't but you're not frightened of jinxing that no because I think it would be it's a win-win for me I don't care who wins the league but it would be amazing if they could start to have a say in it it would be an amazingly quick turnaround because they could feasibly come second if they can perform to how they have been performing overall the last three or four games well they're five points behind Manchester City and Manchester City are playing Fulham tonight.

40:33So you would think that they would remain five points behind them after today and they could finish above their noisy neighbours. That's right. Thank you for letting me have that. Now coming up after this, there's a big controversy in the Maldives.

40:57Welcome back, everybody. Before we get to those tiny little islands, let's talk about Chelsea 2, Leeds United 2. Bit of controversy here. A big point for Leeds, of course, who are missing a few players. Dominic Calvert-Lewin, most notably, one might argue. Chelsea throwing away a two-goal lead. It is a petrifying scoreline, as they've proved once again. Now, where to begin? Well, Chelsea. So let's start with the penalties, shall we? The Chelsea one, more obvious, I think. What on earth? What on earth? Surely the most avoidable penalty of the season. It's the comedy foul of the season. I mean, he basically, not only does he just push him over, he then goes, get up.

41:34Yeah. That's my favourite thing about it. Is that what you've fallen over for? Get up. That was Beol's just, it was a shove. When you say shove, in the full view of everyone with no one else around him. Not really much danger from that position. He was going away. Yeah, exactly. He's going away from goal. Madness. There's a lot to do. Madness. Off you go. Mad. So anyway, Cole Palmer, of course, dispatches the penalty. Then Leeds were given a penalty. and one or two people saying that it was slightly soft the foul on apparently the Kaysedo foul on Jadon Bogle people saying did Bogle kick Kaysedo penalty was given it's a goal which made it 2-1 and then Leeds I mean their second goal from Okafor you have to watch that five or six times to work out what actually happened so many different people got a touch of the ball before Okafor was just like thanks yeah I'll just put that in there will I it's the kind of goal that if it's against the team you support is infuriating oh my goodness because you honestly envisage yourself just being able to clear it yourself yes this is the exact reason that Keystone Cops has still got so much currency with the commentators of modern day despite not being aired since what 1920 or something over 100 years old isn't it well so the if you thought the first Leeds goal was slightly fortuitous with the penalty some will some won't we're not here to discuss at that particular moment we're going to talk about the moment that led up to the Okafor goal.

42:58As I say, it was an absolute pinball. So the moment was the ball hitting Jadon Bogle on the elbow in the build-up to the goal. But Premier League rules state, a goal should only be disallowed for handball if the offence directly leads to the goal, or the goal is scored immediately after the offence. Bogle's handball did not directly lead to the goal, and Chelsea had chances to clear the ball, which is a bit of a... Well, you could have got rid of it, couldn't you? Before Okafor. Could have not done whatever that was. Yeah. Focus on your own job. before Okafor scored. The only way Bogle could have been punished for the offence was if the referee gave a foul for the handball at the time.

43:33And the referee felt it wasn't a deliberate handball, so didn't give the free kick. And Liam Rosinia was furious post-match, because when he was told, because he was questioning the decision, when he was told, well, the referee didn't think it was deliberate, Liam Rosinia said, well, you saying that has only got me angrier. That's unacceptable if they come with that judgment. Absolutely furious he was. what did you make of it? Well I think he's trying to hold a lot of different things in his head at once there and he's not seeing the incident back and he's being told that it's been given for whatever reason and I think to be fair to him there he's not privy to all of the information that you've had in front of you there for example but he obviously felt it was deliberate, he felt it should have been given Luke?

44:16I think that sometimes you have to be able to discern between frustration for its own sake because he was annoyed at how they didn't win the game and channeling that into some kind of decision, complaint about a decision. Sure. I get that he didn't have all the information that Marcus just relayed to us, but he should still know in his position that that's what the rule is, however convoluted it is, or how he should not agree with it or whatever. And if he didn't know that, then you're kind of a little bit negligent, really. Do I think the law is confusing? Yes. And I also think that we've boxed ourselves into such a corner when it comes to laws in football now because of this vast stuff and because things can be overturned, then it makes the whole thing crazy.

44:56You guys talked about it on Monday, but it referenced the Man City thing that Vish was talking about. So I get that it's frustrating, but I don't think it's that helpful when you complain about the laws that have been implemented correctly and then you channel that at the referee who is basically just doing his job and he's not really done anything wrong. The referee, for all the VAR stuff that goes on, the referee is still entitled to decide whether Rehan Ball was deliberate or not. that's basically part of his job and if he's decided that it's fine and the fact that everyone knows the law changed to be directly leading to a goal and not directly and that's what this clearly was I think I just think in summary I think Rosina just pissed off he's just channeling it towards the red he's got his head scrambled in that moment because he can't believe his side never won the game he's lost his world class basics he has Chelsea though 2-0 up and cruising as I say Leeds gave him the old 1-2 but my goodness you have to say there was fortune in that because on another day maybe the penalty's not given on a...

45:52People might think that's harsh, but as I say, some were saying it's soft, including Mikey Dean, former Premier League referee. Why is he suddenly involved all the time? He's on Sky Sports, isn't he? Yeah, I know, but I don't understand why that's always happening. Well, because he's the referee, the consultant, isn't he? We need people to... I know he is. I've seen him every Saturday. But is he... He's needed... He's now needed to translate stuff to us. Yeah. Because what happens is you see, like, Tim Sherwood, he gets confused by everything on Saturday. That's why. If you've got Tim Sherwood in there...

46:18What do you think of that? and Mike would just go yeah, referee's got that right. But Mike Dean was saying actually with these that he felt that he was surprised the referee didn't give. At least Peter Walton just used to take all the abuse all the time on BT Sport. In his little cupboard. Yeah, put him in a separate cupboard and abuse him. I think if a referee's in a cupboard I think we're okay with that. They treated Peter Walton like a mushroom. They fed him shit and kept him in the dark. Well, like David Beckham's little mushroom. Yeah, single solitary little mushroom, yeah. But a great point for Leeds though.

46:49The momentum keeps going. As I say, they were missing some crucial players. So Daniel Farkle was very pleased that his team got the topic spot on. Yeah. Well, I say spot on. Before we move on, I believe Cole Palmer missed a great chance at the end. Oh, my goodness me. That was absolutely astonishing, not just because of the quite mad circumstances in which he's managed to not score from there, but I've never seen so much feeling or emotion from Cole Palmer. No, I haven't. It was absolutely flabbergasted in the net. He couldn't believe it. Flabbergasted is the word. His mouth was just open. It was one of the camera shots of the season, seeing him like...

47:21Because he's normally pretty impervious to any kind of thinking. Just so dry. And that makes him good at football. He just couldn't believe it. A Chelsea fan said to me on the way to the studio today, go easy on Cole Palmer. Yeah. And look, I... It was a 0.91 XG, so what that means is basically they'd expect 91 out of 100 to be scored. 91, okay. I suppose the ball's come in, it's set up slightly. 91, what would you say it was? It's so close though, isn't it? Yeah, no, I mean, look, I'm not going to argue with the XGists. I think they're spot on the boffins it's a sitter don't take the boffins on mate but clearly you can see how he's missed it it's one of those ones where it's just kind of come off his foot it's a classic he's almost hit it too well yeah I know what you mean he should have scored of course he should have scored no one's saying it you're trying to understand why he missed and you know you can analyse it until the cows come home he should have scored but of course again it's one of those ones where people say actually you almost want to miss hit it you almost want to just trickle it on the ground because it would have gone in.

48:19But yeah, as you say, the stadium couldn't believe it because he was one of their best players on the pitch. You know, he scored the penalty, he assisted the goal. You know, again, Palmer is getting back to what we are used to seeing Cole Palmer doing, particularly in a Chelsea shirt. When he misses that chance, it's like bloody hell. He is... Human. An emotional human after all. Too much trademarking, not enough scoring. Yes, indeed. Before we move onto the Maldives, can we stay... It's all built up to the Maldives. We can't wait for this. Headliner. I just want to talk just a moment about the Edinburgh Derby.

48:51Let's not let it if I may. Heart of Midlothian one, Hibernian zero. A late goal at Tyne Castle. And what a goal it was as well. Great near post run. Beautiful finish. Yeah. Derek McInnes off down the touchline. He was loving it. He basically commanded a ball boy to celebrate with him. Yeah. He was giving out high fives to the crowd as well. He pointed at the ball boy. You, get here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my goodness. What a goal. They bloody needed that. The title race in Scotland is going to be really interesting now. They're six points clear at the top. Yeah, but the narrative's been, the whole time has been, oh, you know, this is the best chance for Hearts because, you know, Celtic are a laughing stock and they're booty calling Martin O 'Neill every other Saturday night saying, come over.

49:31And Rangers have, you know... Rangers are improving. They started so poorly. But now you're looking to a situation where they are six points at the top, clear, Rangers at the top, but Rangers have got a game in hand and Celtic have got two games in hand. Yeah. So if the teams, you'd expect the old firm teams to win their sum total of three games in hand, then it becomes Hearts on 57 and Reigns and Celtic both on 54. Yeah. That's a title race. It really is. That is a big title race. Well, Celtic have got Livingston at home tonight. Livingston at the bottom of the league. He'd fancy them for that.

50:00Rangers away to Motherwell. And Motherwell have won four of the last five. And I'm reliably informed by some Scottish people who have been watching a lot of this league this season that Motherwell are playing some lovely stuff. Yeah. they've been playing some good stuff at the moment so it could be a little further twists and turns who knows it'll be a signal if Hart's finished third won't it it will be it will be oh but we're enjoying it right now now then everybody let's get to the Maldives there's been uproar in the Maldives top tier of football after it was alleged that one of the country's leading clubs sought to escape relegation by failing to play a match yeah what a tactic it's a great loophole it's a great loophole Green Street love that who finished the season in eighth beat the drop last Thursday after failing to fulfill their final league fixture of the season against New Radiant.

50:50What a name. Yeah, who were in a great run of form, Jim. With a name like that, it's not surprising, is it? Not at all. Yeah, they were just called Radiant before. Had Green Streets lost by four goals or more, they would have been relegated on goal difference. Under the rules, though, any team that fails to play a match must forfeit the game 2-0. A score that was, of course, enough to keep Green Streets up. Club Valencia, who were relegated by Green Street's decision, issued a statement accusing their rivals of fixing the outcome of the match. They said that Green Street's behaviour was disgusting and had violated the rights of Valencia and New Radiant.

51:26Green Street said they categorically deny any accusations of match fixing and blame an outbreak of diarrhoea and flu for calling off the game. And apparently, Green Street, they did somewhat turn up. The management team was there. I believe one or two club officials even some players yeah but it's just not enough I mean one could argue a little bit of pomp and ceremony yeah absolutely so I love that they've gone for the the excuse of diarrhoea and flu because it's like what's the one thing that's essentially embarrassing enough yeah that you'd only say it if it was really happening to you yeah yeah yeah we've all been there the league's governing body has placed green streets under a transfer ban when I first went up under arrest that would have been more dramatic but they put them under a transfer ban and fined them 50 ,000 of the local currency which is around£2 ,380.

52:10There's probably not an awful lot of money in Maldivian football, you know. Do you not think that? I think it could be quite a lot. That's what I'm saying. There's not a lot of money in the game. Oh, I see what you mean. Sorry, yes, yes, yes. Tourists probably aren't seeking out the local football league, are they? No. Well, crucially, they have allowed the result to stand. They've basically said, all right, don't do that again. Yeah. That's essentially... Don't do it again. Don't do this unprecedented thing that has possibly never before been seen in world football. Don't do it again. Valencia responded to the decision by saying the club believes that the decision was made to show favouritism and suggested they would escalate their complaint to the Asian Football Confederation and FIFA.

52:50In Gianni's DMs straight away. In a World Cup year. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Oh, I can imagine the event here would be like, I haven't got time to deal with Maldives. Yeah, where is it? You can wear your trainers. And will it be catered? I'll head over. Tie a little pair of Speedos on. what's the problem here oh my goodness so yeah it's not quite police machine esque and so on but it's up there I love the meeting where this all took place someone's essentially just thrown that idea on the table as a joke and gone what if what if we just didn't turn up we need 10 of you to get diarrhoea and flow that's what we need maybe they spiked their own team maybe they did a Spurs lasagna stuff thing to themselves just eating raw chicken just piling into raw chicken E.coli themselves everywhere Well, apparently, so all three teams that are being, and amongst them, all play at the same ground.

53:43Oh, right. Oh, wow. There's not any travelling needed then. Yeah. So, I mean, if you're Club Valencia, surely you're going round there. Right, come on. Let's have a look. Outrageous. Show me your, I want to see your toilet. Show me your soiled pants. How many have you got caught short and where was it? Oh, God, we end as we began, eh? Yeah. yeah thanks for listening to the football ramble part of the ACAR Scraiser Network friends of the ramble don't go anywhere keep listening for ramble uncut and if you're not a friend of the ramble head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved now I think I'd rather play the game and be relegated and have to purposely shit my own pants really to get out of it if they said to you look we need five or six volunteers to shit themselves so we haven't got to play this game I don't think you have to do that I'd say give me but you want to commit to the role I would say give me relegation No, I've been caught short because I've got diarrhea.

54:35Well, I would say that you could just have something a bit dodgy to eat. Not dodgy to eat, as in something that you know is maybe going to... Like what? Yeah, I'm trying to... I'm really extreme chilling. If I said, just whatever Pete's recently eaten, that will always do the trick. And then you can go to the toilet and go, look, there you are. Anyway. Thank you, Luke. Thanks. Thanks, Jim. Cheers. And thanks, the Maldives.

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