A goal… but in what minute, Pete Donaldson?

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2:51Vishal Bhatt: William Edamudia Dowgard-Ossola! William Edamudia Dowgard-Ossola! Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Thursday, 5th of March. I am Pete Donaldson.

2:59Luke Moore: I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Vinicius and Hunter Raja.

3:14Vishal Bhatt: Hello, everybody. It's the Football Ramble. For a Thursday, I'm here with Mr. Lukey Moore and Mr. Vish. Indeed. I've Macroned it, guys. Yeah. My wife slapped me in the eye. I'm wearing sunglasses. I left my glasses in the car at the train station at Leon C so that's why I think I'm Mr. Cool Ice today

3:33Luke Moore: you can't use Macron as a verb because there are so many different things you could mean that's a good point actually

3:38Pete Donaldson: I personally feel aggrieved by you choosing to wear sunglasses in the studio because I went into BAT last year year before actually about the news agents all wearing sunglasses on their podcast and how ridiculous it looked Was it an outside broadcast? Why were they wearing sunglasses? It was an outside broadcast, yeah. But it wasn't particularly sunny. Davos. It was on the mall, I think, at the US election. And they looked ridiculous. I will say... And you look ridiculous. If you're on the mall, you know, in America,

4:10Vishal Bhatt: doing a news report, it's quite good to have the sunglasses because you can't see where your eyes are. And I could be reading all of the senators I don't know the names of. Oh, I see what you mean, yeah. Which is what I'll be doing in this show.

4:21Pete Donaldson: Yeah, but Vish and I need to see your eyes for us to be able to broadcast properly because we never know what you're going to do next.

4:25Luke Moore: Because right now, it looks like you're on the Joe Rogan podcast about to talk about aliens. Yeah.

4:31Pete Donaldson: To be fair, Vish, I'll take aliens on the stuff he could be talking about on the Joe Rogan podcast.

4:35Vishal Bhatt: Aliens ain't going to get us cancelled, mate. No, and I'm not someone who would be talking about aliens because I can't stand them. No, Pete got really angry. Because you can't stand them. I can't stand those aliens.

4:44Pete Donaldson: I talked to Pete about UFOs once and he got really pissed off and then later on... Literally nebulous. He was still WhatsAppping me going, who the fuck do they think they are? try and fucking challenge my entire world view fuck off muggy little aliens get back to where you came from

4:57Vishal Bhatt: the space planet a good night of football last night it was very very good indeed Manchester City 2 I mean I don't know why we're not talking about Newcastle United Man United first but inexplicably some kind of title race going on at the top of the tree well it's the Vish and Pete Derby it's the Vish and Pete Derby I don't know what's going on with this running order and the Vish and Vish's brother Derby yeah getting it from all sides Manchester City 2 Nottingham Forest to Manchester City's six-game winning streak in all competitions came to an end. It was a really flat performance from Manchester City, Luke Emore.

5:33Pete Donaldson: We were desperate for there to be a good title race. I think there still will be a good one. But lots of people were falling over themselves to suggest that Man City might be going into that turbo charge mode towards the end of the season. They're just going to hoover up points.

5:48Vishal Bhatt: And to be fair, Luke, a lot of people were falling over themselves to say that Arsenal we're going to bottle it.

5:53Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Well, watch this space. Watch this space on that. All right, okay, fine. But, so when you are kind of getting into turbocharge mode, you don't tend to draw at home to struggling Nottingham Forest, who going into this game, by the way, one of the great stats going into this game was under Vita Pereira, Nottingham Forest have had 66 shots and scored one goal. They scored two last night.

6:16Vishal Bhatt: Is that misfiring? Yeah, I'd say so. yeah I don't think that sums up misfiring though does it

6:22Pete Donaldson: if you were trying to find your glasses 66 times and you only found them once you would be disappointed with that

6:28Vishal Bhatt: yeah I would be disappointed with the performance but on this

6:32Pete Donaldson: by the same token though if you played the national lottery 66 times and you won the jackpot once you'd be very happy with that it's horses for courses I would like to hand it over to Vish by just saying what a goal by Morgan Gibbs-White though

6:45Luke Moore: it's a beauty

6:46Pete Donaldson: yeah that is the angle from behind the goal was lovely

6:49Luke Moore: yeah that is the kind of the dream thing to pull off like power league five-a-side yeah it's a real kind of like quite cool you're looking the wrong way you're kind of turning it in on yourself you're using your own silhouette you're not necessarily doing it on the run with your back to goal in the Premier League game past Donnarumma that's exactly what yeah that's exactly what Morgan Gibbs-White should be about it's doing fun things at the top level.

7:17Pete Donaldson: Pete will find, Pete will try that kind of thing in five a side a hundred times a game.

7:21Luke Moore: Yeah. Yeah. I'm the William Osler of five a side. That's the point, isn't it? You pay seven or eight quid. To give that a go. Yeah. To do that. To enjoy it. To free throw. Yeah. And like, it was such an ingenious, you know, bit of play from Gibbs White. But also it speaks to the fact that they're just, you know, Pereira's getting that 11 playing like they should be, given that the player's at their disposal. I mean, even the Anderson goal was insane.

7:49Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. We spoke about his final ball and his final decision-making. He's been quite poor the last few matches. But, I mean, to turn it around like that and to draw away from home.

7:58Pete Donaldson: Can I take issue with Vish? Can I take a Vishu? A Vishu. Is this the prices of Power League? No, it's nothing to do. No, no, no. I don't really pay Power League. It's not my game. Why? Are you scared of the power? I'm too big and slow. It doesn't really suit me. Right. But anyway, you say that Vita Pereira has got these players playing and they should be playing. I was at the game at home to Fenerbahce and it was one of the worst performances I've seen this season. I could not believe how sloppy they were in the first half particularly. Bear in mind they went into that game three and up from the first leg away.

8:30Pete Donaldson: They were 2-0 down at one point and looking like they were going to go home. They were already at home

8:35Luke Moore: but going further home. Yeah, yeah. They had made a lot of changes for that game. They had

8:39Pete Donaldson: but when he made brought a load of changes on the second half it got marginally better but honestly they were so poor and they also lost against Brighton so it's not been amazing has it

8:52Luke Moore: No but the principle being that he is not trying to make them do things that they're unfamiliar with in the way that Dyche was Well that's fair enough and also the only way you're getting out of this situation at this stage of the season is by scoring goals which is why it seems a bit of a folly to spend so much of the first half of the season regardless of whether you're Forrest or any other team just like being like right no one's going to beat us we're going to be as solid as possible and if we can carve out three chances a game then great but I mean it's much more fun it's more attuned to the players they have

9:24Pete Donaldson: and it's a bonus point for them right because they wouldn't have expected anything out of it and it makes up you know we could probably talk about this more broadly later but it makes up a component part which makes up an absolutely ideal midweek for Arsenal and a dreadful midweek for Spurs, notwithstanding what's going to possibly happen tonight. You're salivating about tonight's match. I am, because I absolutely love a car crash in football. I don't care if it's Man United or Arsenal or Spurs or Man City or anyone. I will be watching the Spurs game tonight, fully hoping they get beaten at home.

9:58Pete Donaldson: And it's not because I hate them. It's not because I love Crystal Palace, although they're my favorite Premier League team, probably. It's just because if they do, they will be one point off relegation in March which is insanity

10:10Vishal Bhatt: with that amount of money spent and with that stadium

10:13Pete Donaldson: exactly but with Forrest that was a great bonus point for them what was also encouraging for them I think or will be encouraging for Pereira was that they bounced back twice right they go behind twice they still come back and they managed to close out a point at a point they just would not have expected or anyone would have expected them to get so overall great news for Arsenal but there's a long way to go I suppose

10:35Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, I mean, Pep Guardiola said it was a good performance. Wouldn't necessarily go for that one. But the decisions that were made late in the game where they're chasing the three points and Pep is taking out Cherky and Foden and they rallied after the 90th minute, but it really was too late by that point. They didn't have anything in their legs. Harlan probably should have had a pen, Vish. Yeah, I couldn't believe that wasn't a pen. I don't understand why that wasn't a pen to you.

10:58Pete Donaldson: What's the rationale? I was going to ask you guys about that.

11:00Vishal Bhatt: I think he tried to buy it, but good God, Matt Sells was open for business. giving it you know what I mean he had a picnic blanket out in front of his yard and a sign saying would you like to buy a pen please would you have bought one yeah massively I would have piled into him even further

11:15Pete Donaldson: I just didn't understand one that wasn't given yeah I mean nor do I

11:19Luke Moore: I genuinely have nothing to say about it beyond shock it's getting ridiculous

11:25Pete Donaldson: now every single game that fucking happens something stupid happens for the referee

11:28Vishal Bhatt: yeah you're right I don't think there's been a single Premier League match in the last say three weeks that hasn't had a contentious VAR call it's gone the wrong way speaking of decisions

11:38Pete Donaldson: refereeing decisions or whatever or fouls and stuff I got absolutely battered on the discord after saying that there was nothing in that Rudiger thing

11:45Vishal Bhatt: right

11:47Pete Donaldson: we covered it yesterday the Getafe game when the Getafe player said that Rudiger tried to kill him right I mean he didn't but I said there was nothing in it and then on the discord everyone was saying you've got to watch it again it's really sinister and did you watch it again did you take their advice I didn't watch it again well then you've not

12:03Vishal Bhatt: followed the discord rules

12:04Pete Donaldson: I will be starting a crowd funder in support of Antonio Rudiger and me. Double Doon. Yeah, exactly. Double Doon. So look, maybe we've missed, all I'm saying is maybe we've missed something with it, but I suspect we haven't. I watched, I made one of the worst decisions of the season and watched the Arsenal game instead, which was terrible. So I didn't watch this game live, but to me it felt odd that it wasn't given.

12:23Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, it was, and it would have been a real turning point, I would suggest. And the way that Man City set up, Rodri had one of his rare kind of off games. Nunes on the right as well but you just felt with Semenya on the pitch that they just had enough to sort of nick something it's a six game winning streak in all competitions it had to end somewhere I just don't think anybody expected it to end at home against Noying and Forrest

12:47Pete Donaldson: no I guess we've seen it's a big it's a big bonus for those who agree with Marcus that Man City just aren't the team they were and they're vulnerable you know any of the teams

12:55Vishal Bhatt: are the teams they were

12:56Pete Donaldson: yeah everyone says that everyone seems to be on the bandwagon saying that the Premier League is a bit shit now

12:59Vishal Bhatt: which I don't agree with that it's not shit it's a lot of fun I think it's more fun but everyone's exhausted including the officials

13:06Pete Donaldson: that's why that's the real nub of the kind of stoppages issue isn't it part of it is just that they're playing so much football now that they're probably just being coached to get as much of a breather as they can so really it's actually not the players fault or even the managers fault I wouldn't say

13:20Vishal Bhatt: well more on that in the next match has to be said Forrester now 11 on points for West Ham and only outside the relegation zone on goal difference now down at BN1 at the Amex Brighton toiled but Arsenal held them off beautifully Saka Skar on the only goal of the game. Arsenal extended their lead to the top of the Premier League to seven points. It's all looking incredibly rosy from a slightly wobbly position. They just control this game now, didn't they?

13:44Pete Donaldson: It was a boring game. It was tedious.

13:47Luke Moore: Why did you watch it? I thought the whole point of getting an Arsenal pod was so we didn't have to indulge it. I know, I know, I know. Good point, actually.

13:53Pete Donaldson: Well, the reason I watched it is because I thought to myself, I'm injured. We need a Brighton pod. I thought Man City would smash Forest, right? Yeah. And I thought, what's the interesting story here? The interesting story here is that Arsenal might find it quite a harder way. And then as soon as Arsenal scored after about eight or nine minutes, I should have just flicked over. But I was committed. I didn't bother. But what I would say is that, did you guys see the nature of the goal that Saka scored? Yeah. That's a terrible goalkeeping error from...

14:20Vishal Bhatt: It took a deflection, did not? It did, but it was still enough to kind of...

14:25Pete Donaldson: That's kind... It's kind of... Even you saying that, it's still like, yeah, fine. But I mean...

14:31Vishal Bhatt: Have you seen those kind of like little sort of like half orbs they put on the floor that they boot footballs at? Yes, they're great. And they're absolutely fantastic. I'd love to have a go at one. Yeah. A small plastic disc. What? The dream. The dream of the ambitious go at game. Printing your own belts for this game. I'd love a small plastic disc.

14:46Pete Donaldson: I'd love a small plastic disc that I literally have access to make. It's got a net with loads of different bobbles on that, hasn't it? Yeah. There's different ones.

14:53Luke Moore: There's one that's like a fishing net. Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah.

14:56Pete Donaldson: For the reaction. The answer is yes. but was that in any way contributing towards the fact that he let it in? I would say no. I mean, if you're in the goal, if you're in goal, going back to five-a-side apparently, if you were in goal for your five minutes and that happened, you'd be wanting to save that.

15:10Vishal Bhatt: Daddy Piero shushed Fabian Herzler after Herzler told him to hurry up taking a throw in. Lovely to see. Lovely to see that, innit? It's, Herzler and Arteta were having a good old ding-dong, weren't they? Yeah, they were, yeah. It was very busy on the touchline. It always is, I think, with an Arsenal match though, isn't it?

15:28Pete Donaldson: Yeah, and Arsenal get a lot of stick for this delaying of game stuff, don't they? Yeah. And I don't know, maybe because there's a bit of previous there or because they're top of the league or whatever.

15:38Vishal Bhatt: I think it's when they played Newcastle that time and they got really upset about all the shit. They kicked off massively. That brought the Emirates. Exactly. When Eddie Howe was telling everyone to slow the game down the whole time. And the keeper just spent loads of time on the floor. Well, that's exactly what Reyes, Reyes constantly time wastes now.

15:51Pete Donaldson: Yeah. And I thought when you guys discussed that Ramadan break in the Man City game, I kind of automatically assumed people were booing because it was, oh, fucking here we go again kind of thing. I don't think they really realised what was happening and you guys said it was on the big screen which I didn't realise. But I think there's definitely a kind of undercurrent now of fans saying, look, you're moving our fucking kick-off times around, you're charging us ridiculous amounts of money and now you're serving up this shit, right? As I said before, I think I said it on Twitter at the start of the week, I don't think people necessarily mind goals being scored from set pieces or there being a bit of hustle and bustle.

16:29Pete Donaldson: Because I just think, if you think of the lived reality of a football fan, I've been to see my team play live hundreds of times. I've never once in my life been like, I'm going to temper my celebration because that goal was quite simply from a corner. It doesn't happen. It's like, it's a fucking goal, great. So I don't think that's the issue. I think the issue is the stoppage is that by the time the corner actually gets taken, usually, or the free kick, people are so fucking pissed off.

16:52Vishal Bhatt: And they've repositioned the ball so many times.

16:55Pete Donaldson: There was a goal kick yesterday where Arsenal cycled through like three different takers for a goal kick. It was a free kick from an offside, like an indirect free kick in their own half. I mean, it's mental. You've got to stop doing it. They have to stop it. So I think that's probably what Herzler was talking about. But they, I mean, it was, yeah, it was a proper kind of LinkedIn, LinkedIn fucking battle, LinkedIn fucking conversation between Herzler and fucking Arteta. Yeah. It didn't seem that frightening. It wasn't back in the glory days of your Antonio Conte and your Thomas Tuchel.

17:24Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. Like you said, there's precious little talk about this game, but I mean, Brighton, you did feel like they could get something, but Arsenal just, for 70 minutes, just made it very hard to operate, very hard to watch, and ended up, you know, you sort of see with the team having so much control, as they got reviewed after this match, they should have had more possession, they didn't, they just controlled the game with less possession, which is just astonishing.

17:48Pete Donaldson: Yeah, they kind of let Brighton have it a bit, you know, it's one of those games that it's going to be now, probably, one of those wins is going to be instantly forgotten, about but you know come the end of the season if they win the league these are the kind of wins that your league title is built on really these are the foundations that the league title is built on you go away from home midweek packed calendar you get a goal from a goalkeeping error and you shit house your way through the rest of the game I mean you might like it you might not like it but that's really what sometimes you have to do so I don't think you blame Arsenal for it but I do think things like I mean what Herzl talked about I think was David Rea going down three times for no apparent reason in the same game.

18:24Pete Donaldson: He's like, come on.

18:25Vishal Bhatt: He went, I think he notably went down. At one point he went down,

18:28Pete Donaldson: let's make it a sub anyway.

18:29Vishal Bhatt: Well, he went down holding his, I think he was injured and he was holding his left shoulder, but he'd actually landed on his right shoulder. So it's just like inconsistencies like that.

18:39Pete Donaldson: And when you pointed to your right shoulder and you said left shoulder. Exactly. You're in cahoots with him.

18:42Vishal Bhatt: That's why I've got me boots in L &R like Jimmy Cricket.

18:45Luke Moore: Have you, yeah? I suppose the logic to that would be players often get asked to leave the field for treatment, but it never happened to goalkeepers. They always get treated on the field. What you were saying about the possession as well, it speaks to how Arsenal, I mean, that's just a way of trying to control games, isn't it? If you can't necessarily have the ball, you can control the clock. And a good example of that is Arsenal completed 71 % of their passes against Brighton, which is the lowest completion rate they've had in a Premier League game since August 2021 against Man City, where they had 68%.

19:18Luke Moore: They lost that Man City game 5-0. Fucking hell. That tells those to me. Granit Xhaka got sent off after 35 minutes and it was 2-0 at the time to City. But yeah, I feel like that is a great indicator of, I suppose, this new working in the margins arsenal. At the same time, I do see what Herzl is saying, but they've done this all season, whether it's how they work with set pieces or the playing staff. They're kind of operating in the margins, but at the same time, I think Herzl is clutching a little bit. It feels like a thing to say at the moment about, God, how boring are these lot? It's almost like he's, I mean, he's a young manager.

19:58Luke Moore: He's probably online quite a bit.

20:01Vishal Bhatt: Herzl has said there was only one team who tried to play football. There will never be the manager who tries to win that way. Arteta, in response to that, said, what a surprise. You could hear the slow clapping. Yeah, it got very catty very quickly. It did, yeah.

20:14Pete Donaldson: I did think, like, watching this game, I did feel there was an element of it, and it was boring. and I do think on one hand that there's a bit of truth in what Hurts is saying there when it comes to that game in isolation but I do also think that there's an element to this where Arsenal are probably getting the attention for being A, top of the league and B, being the best at this thing that everyone's doing anyway. Yeah, exactly. So that's part of it. But I'd also say they did ride their luck a little bit. I mean Brighton did push and kind of forced the issue and had chances and one or two openings where they could have scored and it would have been really interesting for the neutral if they had have scored to see what Arsenal would then have done because they would have had to have re-upped it again and I imagine Arteta would have made some changes and all the rest of it so look they're trying to win the league they're going to do it as best they can I saw something Paul Scholes said the other day oh the football is so shit at the moment that no one should get the Premier League trophy it's like brilliant

21:09Luke Moore: it really fucking pains me did he say that to Paddy McGinn exactly old razzle dazzle

21:13Vishal Bhatt: Paul Scholes

21:14Pete Donaldson: and what happens is because you've watched a Paul Scholes video your algorithm sets you up with other Paul's Goals videos and they're all about like how you know Andres and the Esther named his son after him because he's the best player he's ever seen and I was like now he's talking to Paddy McGuinness and he's talking absolute fucking shit it's pretty demeaning

21:30Vishal Bhatt: yeah did you see that two fans were spotted watching the game with seagull masks we just need more seagull masks they're doing it a lot they do well one man's doing it now there's I it's funny that they both managed to like find the same seagull mask as the previous one

21:44Pete Donaldson: it made me think that I saw I did see this

21:46Vishal Bhatt: There's not enough diversity in seagull masks, yes.

21:48Pete Donaldson: No, I think that they should, the first day of the season, next season, if Brighton have got a home game, every single home fan should wear one. That would be super intimidating. It would be like an Al from a Hitchcock movie. It would be frightening.

22:00Vishal Bhatt: That would be terrifying. And then they should have somebody dressed as a big chip and they should chase him around. Chase him around the stance. Well, I presume Mark has put that in there, but does he have access to the live doc? A 35-year-old Danny Welbeck has triggered an option in his contract to extend his deal at Brighton to the end of next season. Thomas Tuchel named his last England squad before selecting his 26-man team for the World Cup later this month.

22:24Pete Donaldson: I'm not sure what those stories are together.

22:26Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, well, they're together in the running order and I can't help but think that a line break was deleted by an unknown hairy boy. I mean, good news for Danny Welbeck. He's earned it. He's earned it. He's been great. He's been absolutely fantastic.

22:41Pete Donaldson: He's got 10 Premier League goals this season. He's obviously triggered some kind of clause and good luck to him. It is worth pointing out that he would be, I think, him and Calvert-Lewin are the top scoring English players in the Premier League this season.

22:57Vishal Bhatt: That is wild.

22:57Pete Donaldson: So maybe it isn't fanciful that he's going to get a nod. Cole Palmer got his ninth goal of the season in the Premier League last night as well. So those are the three English players that are scoring the goals. I don't think that it will make it, although I think it would be a great story. It reminds me a bit of when I'm sketchy on this detail but then like years after he had kind of come out of the international picture Robbie Baggio was called up again yes I am comparing Danny Welbeck to Roberto Baggio

23:24Vishal Bhatt: why not that's absolutely fine better penalties

23:27Luke Moore: yeah Welbeck wouldn't blaze it over the block alright well

23:30Vishal Bhatt: coming after this the main event

23:38Vishal Bhatt: this episode is sponsored by BetterHelp it's March and that means International Women's Day I'd like to use that as an opportunity to celebrate my mum, hello mum, for allowing me to grow into the person I am, safe in the knowledge I've always had her support. Women can play so many roles in the lives of those around them that the expectations placed on them can mean their own emotional well-being is easily overlooked. Therapy can help create balance, set healthy boundaries and support overall well-being for everyone. With over 30 ,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform.

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24:53Vishal Bhatt: We must strengthen after-school programs. We must make digital literacy tools available in our schools. We must work with mental health professionals to support children. And we must empower mentors, educators and parents to keep kids happy. Learn more about our commitment to finding lasting solutions at empowerourfuturecoalition.com slash solutions. Paid for by the coalition to empower our future. When it comes to managing money, forget the hype and look at the results. Bill has a trillion dollars of secure payments powering our BillPay tools. Instead of just moving money, Bill is powering the financial operations of nearly half a million customers.

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26:13Vishal Bhatt: Taste the Mediterranean now at Whole Foods Market.

26:22Vishal Bhatt: Now a well-placed source has told me that you celebrated the win over Borussia Dortmund in the dressing room by doing an impression of Chris Kamara. Is that right? L 'ambole, Baba Jeff. L 'ambole, Baba Jeff. Oh, I love that clip so much.

26:37Luke Moore: So good. I mean, unbelievable. Unbelievable. It's also just coming from a vessel who looks like the child of Jabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard. Yeah, he does.

26:49Pete Donaldson: I'd really love to hear Uno Emery do that. I think Uno Emery would be great at it as well.

26:55Vishal Bhatt: Corrections and acknowledgements. Listeners have been commenting in their droves about the white rapper with cornrows that Dominic Sobsley reminded Luke of is in fact Riff Raff. It's Riff Raff. I remembered it about five minutes

27:06Pete Donaldson: after we stopped recording annoyingly. I wasn't granted a pickup by the producers.

27:10Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, thanks to Zoe, Harry, Joe, Drew and Lazy Swagger, who were the first ones who got in touch.

27:16Pete Donaldson: Listen, if you're called Lazy Swagger, you are definitely getting in touch for the Riff Raff clarification.

27:20Vishal Bhatt: I completely agree. Riff Raff featuring Lazy Swagger. Do you want to get a little bit of Riff Raff's recent social media output? Please. Roses are red, violets are black. She took my heart out back and cooked it like a Big Mac. Shut up.

27:39Pete Donaldson: hope you have a happy Valentine's Day because I didn't. Who paid for that cameo? He's an absolutely dreadful rapper. I wanted to get a clip of some of his music but producer Roy said we might get sued so we couldn't. I was like, I don't mind getting sued by Riff Raff.

27:54Vishal Bhatt: Imagine you in the dock with Riff Raff. Yeah, I'll get cornrows. Get cornrows and silver teeth. Are you a fan of his output? No, not really. Are you more of an Island Boys guy?

28:03Pete Donaldson: Yes. It's very similar energy to the Island Boys.

28:05Vishal Bhatt: Very similar energy. What's happened to them? Real kind of Florida man I've seen sort of two About two years ago I think they started And only fans Started getting off With each other What And the other one was They're not real brothers Are they Yep They're twins They're twins They're twins They started getting off With each other Where's that come from Look Vish All I'm saying is Do you want more listeners To the pod Get smooching me Give us a kiss You're not identical twins Are you sure Can we be sure It's forbidden love

28:35Luke Moore: Isn't it It's forbidden love still forbidden yeah

28:39Pete Donaldson: by the way Riffras from the most Texan man ever by the way he's not really Florida yeah he's also way too old to be doing this like in his mid 40s now they all are you can't tell where the cornrows don't say people

28:49Luke Moore: in their mid 40s are way too old to be doing something exactly I'm projecting I'm projecting

28:54Vishal Bhatt: you're never too lit for cornrows yeah get cornrows get cornrows come on I could grow them my hair's thick enough to do it I'm an island island dad you do look a bit

29:03Pete Donaldson: like island dad I haven't got identical twins to be getting off with though

29:07Vishal Bhatt: Island uncle I have to get off

29:09Pete Donaldson: Get off with me Island uncle Get off with Tom Skinner Get off with Lawrence Fox Yes Beautiful Which would I prefer Put it in the comments Exactly

29:17Vishal Bhatt: Right In NA1 Newcastle managed to overcome A one man deficit Stop saying the postcode I'm taking the postcode again It's a postcode day Alright On Barrack Road Newcastle United Managed to overcome A one man deficit To beat Man United 2-1 It was golless When Jacob Ramsey Was sent off For a simulation It was An incredible Pete Vish derby Vish

29:38Luke Moore: It was It was It was A very enjoyable game To the point Where I watched it With my brother Last night At Newcastle United supporter Yeah Newcastle United supporter Couldn't make it down myself Yeah That was a shame You were missed And He When I'm going to jump ahead here But when William Osler came on He was like Fuck's sake What are we doing here He is the most Fuck's sake striker We've got Yeah, that's what it sounds like. Lovely guy. And as soon as he scores, all the Newcastle fans, we were nuts. And my brother hasn't stopped sending me William Osler memes.

30:19Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, because he is the most meme-y man at Newcastle United. He's a one-off man mental, as Brasset used to describe people.

30:26Pete Donaldson: I think Gordon's quite meme-able.

30:28Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, but he's got that dour kind of I'm actually better than you think kind of vibe.

30:33Pete Donaldson: Dan Burns massive and got a finger missing.

30:34Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, true. but I think William Osler actively searches the social media madness. He's absolutely insane. He's a wonderful wild card.

30:42Pete Donaldson: Dan Byrne also basically tried to put Luke Shaw out of the World Cup squad.

30:45Luke Moore: Yeah, it was very much like, oh, that's my position there. Yeah. That's my place. From a playground bully stuff,

30:51Pete Donaldson: he's so much bigger as well.

30:52Vishal Bhatt: Do you not think that the disparity of height does favour, you know, looking unfavourably on Dan Byrne in this particular situation?

30:59Pete Donaldson: Yeah, because of the height difference. Yeah. If you're a tall man, like you always complain about. He handshelved him. Yeah, when you said to me about the handshell a few years ago it's the first time I've ever even heard that was a thing I've been doing that I just said it on a handshell yeah the handshell I've been doing that my whole life to small people disrespecting them we were not on a big forum the short kings saying are you tired of the short to the short shelf I'm just saying I could have got a channel 4 documentary commission saying that my whole life I've been handshelving I didn't even know and I changed my ways

31:26Vishal Bhatt: it's not a microaggression it's an aggression on the micro that's what it is but it's kind of it's a macroaggression if anything so so the the sending off happens I probably would have liked a chance to have another look at that one it was a second yellow

31:43Luke Moore: you don't get to look at it because it's your team that's not how it works so is your second opinion please

31:48Pete Donaldson: is your complaint that like there was a bit of initial contact but then he dived afterwards and then it wasn't technically simulation it definitely was simulation

31:57Vishal Bhatt: it definitely was simulation simulation happened but there's definitely contact so could that be simulation is that just sort of buying the foul that he's allowed.

32:04Pete Donaldson: But if he had got the contact in the 42nd minute and then went down the 45th minute, what's your cutoff on the time? Well, it's clearly not that long would be my cutoff.

32:13Vishal Bhatt: I think you're being facetious. In Ramsey's case,

32:15Pete Donaldson: it was still quite a long distance time between them.

32:18Vishal Bhatt: I think sometimes you really, with the referees, you have to sort of say, Daddy, I've got an ouch.

32:24Luke Moore: He plants both his feet after the contact.

32:30Pete Donaldson: Daddy, I've got an ouch. Daddy, I've got an ouch.

32:33Vishal Bhatt: but yeah I mean Aaron Maroney made

32:35Pete Donaldson: a good save by the way

32:36Vishal Bhatt: he was absolutely out of his skin is Popey going to get back in the back in the you feel back in the bins you feel like this is kind of Ramsdale's chance because the last spell he had when Pope went out injured with his shoulder injury he was fairly unconvincing but since Nick Pope's come back it kind of feels like he might be done at the top level it could be mental it could be physical but he just constantly seems unable to get his feet sorted out and more frequently his head sorted out

33:04Pete Donaldson: and he's not but he's not he's had the the king of shit kicking crown taken by Vicario exactly what's his personal brand now what's his personal brand

33:13Luke Moore: yeah exactly it's a great time for Ramsdale to come back in purely because yeah as you were saying so he was on the sidelines for Pope Pope had a bit of a rough patch Ramsdale came in had a worse patch Pope's back and Ramsdale has this game if he gets a clean run in that's probably like has he sewn up the third goalkeeper slot for the World Cup for him personally that's a huge step forward it's a six pointer yeah it is every game he plays a six pointer with his opposition man

33:44Pete Donaldson: you watch Newcastle more than me but I remember him being astonishingly poor against Liverpool at Anfield

33:50Vishal Bhatt: who?

33:51Pete Donaldson: Paul? yeah

33:51Vishal Bhatt: he's just doing his usual kind of rushing out

33:53Pete Donaldson: the Marseille one

33:54Luke Moore: was really bad Carabaug he was quite poor in as well

33:57Pete Donaldson: the game they won really easily but he was still mad but he had no reason to be mad but he was still getting in the frame of the camera all the time

34:05Vishal Bhatt: even though there were 6-0 up it really seems like it's kind of it's a confidence issue for him more than anything physical would this help his confidence do you think? I don't think he probably listens to be honest tall men don't concern themselves with our affairs don't care what we do

34:21Pete Donaldson: I hate being the tallest man in the room actually I'm not because producer Rory is taller than me it's a good point actually

34:27Vishal Bhatt: Casemiro levelled it up after Gordon's penalty I mean he's dangerous from those positions it was a tidy header is it because he got a big face? maybe I thought he was short

34:35Pete Donaldson: but he's not he's actually 6 foot 1 yeah he's a very good headerer of the ball do you think as a Man Utd he's dangerous from those positions or am I just remembering he's a very tidy header

34:43Luke Moore: he's caused a lot from set pieces yeah

34:46Vishal Bhatt: well we'll get to the winner which is as I said the main event of the entire show but Man Utd simply couldn't ramp up the pressure and put Newcastle to bed they didn't seem interested in upping the pace and Carrick on the sidelines was physically going, can we just have a bit more, please, gentlemen? I think...

35:04Luke Moore: I don't know that there was much more that Manchester United... Sorry, much different than Manchester United couldn't do. That's basically how they've been knocking on the door and trying to win games.

35:15Pete Donaldson: They missed some chances as well. And Buomo missed a really good chance.

35:17Luke Moore: Yeah, that was a big chance. Put it miles over the bar. The Cuglia versus Trippio battle as well was quite enjoyable. So, I mean, I think I spoke about this ahead of the Palace game, so it would have been on Friday's show, that it's been interesting seeing how Manchester United have won some of the games. I mean, it's the third game, even under Michael Carrick, where the opposition have been a man down. Yes. Fairly important times of the game. So obviously, like, you know, Spurs won Romero's red card, which was just his own idiocy. Then Lacroix against Palace, and then this one here, and then obviously they haven't come out on top.

35:51Vishal Bhatt: For a lot of the match in this sense as well.

35:53Luke Moore: Yeah, exactly, yeah. And I feel like Newcastle are the kind of team that actually when they're a man down they step up especially at home as well. I mean it was a brilliant Newcastle performance. I'm not entirely surprised that Manchester United came unstuck in this way and particularly in this fixture. Obviously I didn't anticipate it being with a man advantage but there have been like little things creeping in and I think it's been creeping in because people are just a bit more aware of how to play a Michael Carrick Manchester United team.

36:20Pete Donaldson: It's kind of a funny situation because obviously under Amorim that game against Everton when Gaye gets sent off after 10-15 minutes and they still lose the game I don't know if you can draw too much between those two because it's two managers different managers different shape different period of the season but I don't know if there's anything in that but I think I think your point about you know Carrick is relatively inexperienced at the very top level so he's just kind of learning on the job as he goes in quite a difficult situation and he started really well if you look at this if you look at the Premier League table since because it's Christmas you're not at the top or something it's crazy how good they've been given their reputation in the discourse.

36:58Pete Donaldson: So maybe this is just a little bit of a revert to type, kind of revert to the mean type situation. What was interesting, I didn't know about this, and Pete, you'll know more about it than me. There was, Eddie Howe was asked questions after the game, or might have been before the game, actually no, it was before the game, about him being too loyal to certain players and not dropping players that need to be dropped and there's players waiting in the wings to come and that don't get picked. Pop's a very good example. Is that a big talking point up in the North?

37:24Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, I mean, I think Pope, Joe Linton, Dan Byrne, the people, you know, Trippier. I mean, some of those players are in there.

37:30Pete Donaldson: Trippier feels like he's been off it for a while.

37:31Vishal Bhatt: Well, some of those players are in there because of just complete and utter necessity. But you do get the sense that Howe's greatest moments at Newcastle United have centred around certain footballers who probably haven't earned their place in the side in 2026. So there is a little bit of that. Willock is a good one-man problem with it. Willick's attendance at matches. But yeah, I think that's pretty much what we're looking at. But this looked like, you know, a slightly better side in that he is making big decisions like Nick Bob. This isn't an injury situation for Port being out of the side. He is just sort of, he's just completely out of confidence and completely out of form.

38:11Vishal Bhatt: Let's try his understudy. And yeah, it looks like...

38:14Pete Donaldson: And a justification for Ramsdale who has had a difficult career path, right? That's the kind of thing he needs, I think. The thing that did for him at Arsenal was really... I defended at the time because I think that Arteta and Arsenal have got a responsibility to just get the best team they can and that Rhea was available and he wanted to come and he's a better goalkeeper than Ramsdale. That's all fine. But from Ramsdale's point of view, that is brutal. He's only been there a matter of months or something. And then he finds himself at a historically poor relegated side and then has to rebuild.

38:44Pete Donaldson: And the offer he gets is to go to Newcastle where they've already got an England international established goalkeeper. and he backs himself and now he's forced his way into the side. I think he deserves a great amount of credit, not least because he was brilliant last night. So good on him.

38:57Vishal Bhatt: Can we just talk about William Ossler's goal for crying out loud? Oh yeah, sorry. You said you were good. Fuck these entrees. Yeah, that's the way

39:02Pete Donaldson: I started with it. That was the entree. What a celebration it must have been in the Donaldson household.

39:08Vishal Bhatt: I think so, yeah. Did you wake up your daughter? I think so. He wasn't there. I think so. I can't remember, yeah. William Ossler, it says in the running order, had been on a 15-game goal drought. that does suggest that waters had flowed freely at some point in his career which i'd like to disavow everyone of that notion but he is uh can it be a drought if you've never drunk yeah exactly um it was an astonishing goal at an amazing time and i wish more people could have experienced and they will on social media but the thrill of hearing you know when i went in newcastle beats Leicester 4-3 like back in the day and I was listening on Radio Newcastle on Metro Radio one of the two and hearing that commentary you know the crash barriers are coming down and everyone's just on the pitch and all that stuff the Ocelor goal like dig out if you can get the Radio Newcastle slash nufc.co.uk footage with the radio audio put on it

40:06Pete Donaldson: if I had some kind of mechanism on an audio program

40:10Vishal Bhatt: I'd written that but it's an astonishing bit of broadcasting and William Ossler man, I love William Ossler but nothing about anything he does on the football pitch gets me excited really, I think he's very

40:26Luke Moore: where's the love come from?

40:27Vishal Bhatt: He's very fun, he's very popular in the dressing room he's broadly terrible on the pitch he's got all the ingredients for a footballer in the same way that fertiliser can be used for a bomb or a flower bed he is an astonishingly frustrating footballer who has everything going for him and he simply must be let loose on Sunderland.

40:48Pete Donaldson: Why? There's a shoulder crown waiting to be worn. It's not even that.

40:53Vishal Bhatt: It's got the chaos of Sammy Amiobi and the physicality of Sean Amiobi. I like that. Is there not any merit in the idea

41:00Pete Donaldson: that he's still pretty young and he was called up to the Denmark score pretty recently, wasn't he? I think he had to pull out for injury. But I look at him and I think he's got the tools. Big, strong lad, not slow. you know he's still finding his way that could be something that kind of ignites his confidence then having said that I thought that and then I saw that he played 21 times in the Premier League for Sheffield United and didn't score a single goal either

41:23Luke Moore: I assume we all remember

41:26Vishal Bhatt: but Sheffield United did say when he left for Newcastle he was only like 10 million or something only 10 million Vish

41:32Pete Donaldson: for a striker that's very cheap you like nothing he does on the football pitch he just said alright 10 million then he's broadly terrible I am also an over pair Negotiation on deadline day

41:43Vishal Bhatt: I like nothing about this player 10 million done I like everything about this player But I like nothing about How he applies his skills But I like everything about Sounds about 10 million to me I'd like to see him around the club He's an absolute vibe monster

41:57Pete Donaldson: He's got two goals in League One For Derby Well look

41:59Vishal Bhatt: He scored against Liverpool He scored against United Maybe he's just a guy for the For the big occasions I mean it was

42:08Luke Moore: It was a great take your opportunity moment. After not taking the opportunity. Because it was something of a free hit. It was like, can you run on and like, his primary role would have been to alleviate pressure by taking the ball. And that's what people are shouting at the other end. Up the pitch. And when he does the first step over Malassia, I think he's like, he's doing it because he's like, I could probably do this now. And when Malassia falls for it, he's like, you know what, I might do it again. He does it twice and then has the angle around Maguire, who's obviously thinking like, who is this bloke?

42:44Vishal Bhatt: Maguire sort of falls and lets it through. It's weird.

42:47Luke Moore: Yeah, but he's also like, is Maguire not taking him seriously? And also in the way that I can't remember who it was, who would have still been on the pitch at the time, because it wasn't Talani and it might have been, it might have been Botman or Murphy, but one of the players with his back to the camera when he hits it, and it goes into the sign name, almost turns to double take with someone else and be like, has he just done that? What?

43:14Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. Because they've never seen him do that.

43:16Luke Moore: Yeah. That's why it was such a wholesome moment. Obviously the stands go crazy and he's running away being like, I've got to style this out and pretend I do this all the time. Yeah, exactly. This is my introduction. I cannot wait to re-watch this.

43:28Vishal Bhatt: He's a bit like Harlan. He's got great feet, but he just, his decision making is... But he just hates him. He's the dice man. He's got a dice out and he goes, right, six. I've rolled a six. I'm going to blast it out. Yeah, right. That's not bad.

43:39Pete Donaldson: I'm going to just fall over. Five minutes into this conversation about this specific player, I've still got no idea what Pete thinks of him.

43:46Luke Moore: I hate him. He's only 10 million. We can write that off. It's fine. He's basically Harlan.

43:53Vishal Bhatt: I've dropped myself into this. Did you see the goal? No, no. I didn't see it. I mean, yeah. He heard it on the radio. Just a fantastic... Is he going to be a new

44:02Pete Donaldson: Eddie Howe favourite? He's going to play every game now? Not going to be dropped whatever happens. no

44:06Vishal Bhatt: well what a what a match what a denouement what a what a fantastic goal and bring on Manchester City in their fair cup of the weekend well it's interesting because like Ireland against

44:17Luke Moore: Ireland yeah that'd be

44:17Vishal Bhatt: Ireland versus Ireland Spider-Man versus Spider-Man

44:21Pete Donaldson: it's going to be that meme not going to know who's who what does that mean for Newcastle season though does it mean anything more broadly interesting I mean they're still in 12 they're probably not going to get European football because they've been so inconsistent they're obviously not going to win the Champions League so it's still going to be something that Eddie Howe is going to be looking over his shoulder at in the summer, right?

44:40Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, hugely. Huge. They've not looked great but this arrested a pretty decent home and league slide which needed to be arrested so it doesn't matter how it happens I suppose. Sorry, who was arrested? William Ossler. Is that why you got your sunglasses on? If anyone's going to be arrested it's going to be William Ossler. He's brilliant. Alright then, coming after this, Big John has a lovely night at the cottage.

45:07Vishal Bhatt: Forgot to press the button.

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46:42Pete Donaldson: The supply teacher vibes are unbelievable, aren't they? You can't get rid of the supply teacher energy, whatever he does.

46:47Vishal Bhatt: Hungover, got his sunglasses on. Useless, 10 million. Welcome back to the Football Ramble. You can't press the button. It's the duality of opinion you get on the Football Ramble, contained within one person. Aston Villa 1 Chelsea 4 in the Premier League what a strange performance from Aston Villa at home Douglas Luiz on the second minute Joao Pedro on the 35th then the 45th plus 6 then the 64th then Cole Palmer wrapping it up on the 55th

47:16Pete Donaldson: first of all you didn't see the post go to the stadium so do that again secondly we don't need to know the minuteage of the goals we do know the minuteage we do need that We've never done that as a show. We do need it. Never done that before.

47:31Vishal Bhatt: A fall of bits. We've taken...

47:33Luke Moore: God, thank God I can listen to the Ramble while I'm at work. I just want to know what time the goals are scored, though. I've got nowhere to get that.

47:42Vishal Bhatt: Stop picking on the supply teacher, you pigs.

47:44Pete Donaldson: I want people to understand. I do say this from time to time. I want people listening and watching to understand just how difficult it is to do this job, which is quite difficult anyway, when you've no idea what the host is going to do next. Biddy, biddy.

47:56Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. Yes, Aston Villa got up to...

47:59Pete Donaldson: It's like trying to have a lovely night's sleep, right? You know there's a murderer in the room, but it's pitch black.

48:05Vishal Bhatt: Can't relax. And you hear from the darkness. Do it!

48:08Pete Donaldson: Can I...

48:08Vishal Bhatt: I just... So let him finish.

48:10Pete Donaldson: What minute was the final goal scored in? The final goal was scored in the 55th minute.

48:14Vishal Bhatt: Thank you very much. Let me have time for Aston Villa to turn it around. That's all I'm saying. It wasn't. It was the 64th. Yes! Jael Pedro in the 64th.

48:21Luke Moore: He's even got that wrong. And can people listen back to those goals on the radio?

48:26Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, probably. That's all anyone wants to know. Aston Villa radio or something. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it was a great performance from João Pedro. He's got 10 goals in his last 12 games across all competitions. But the main story here is that Aston Villa were utter shit, Luke.

48:42Pete Donaldson: They used to be really good at home. And I mean, to the point where their home record was astonishing. You'd have to double check it. They went almost, I think almost a year without losing the game at home in the Premier League. I think that's right. They've now lost three of their last five home games in the Premier League. And that's been their heaviest defeat for a long time. I think that the player I'd give the most credit to would obviously be Jal Pedro. And that sounds obvious because he scored a hat-trick. But actually, he's got 14 goals in the Premier League this season now. But given the environment he's in and given the changing in managers, the continual psychodrama so popular that is Chelsea, and given the fact that actually he was almost a bit of a forgotten man because they had made a massive amount of they got a massive amount of press for signing Liam De Lapp who's found it really tough and Gerard Pedro's almost like just quietly gone about his business and he wouldn't have been the first player under a lot of pressure to go from a club like Brighton to a club like Chelsea and just fail but he's been really good and I think that it's worth pointing that out when he scored a hat-trick away from home against a pretty good side from Aston Villa's point of view they're reverting they're reverting to the mean right I mean they seem to have papered over a lot of cracks by just banging goals in from miles out over and over again you know and sooner or later you know you dance with the devil long enough he wants to follow you home right and that's what's basically happening now yeah that's what's happening now so good performance by Chelsea they are capable of that but they're also capable of being shit so I mean you know it was a good night for them

50:16Vishal Bhatt: yeah and as you said a terrible night for Villa losing cash to injury and Arna was poor as well Watkins was slightly better he'd sort of felt like he was kind of on it, but he was a lucky. Very unfortunate kneecap, wasn't he? Very unfortunate kneecap. Unfortunate kneecap, yeah. Very, very lucky with the offside. I mean, it wasn't the result for Villa. It was the matter, the manner of the result. Because they went ahead and they almost went 2-1 ahead, right? Yeah, and you thought, oh my God, I mean, this is a real surprise. And I think a lot of Villa fans sort of felt that they were on a bit of a hide-and-nothing with this match because, you know, like you said, Chelsea are inconsistent, but they've got goals in the side and Villa seem just very short on confidence at this moment in time.

50:52Vishal Bhatt: Their heaviest home defeat in two years for Villa. They've now lost three of their past five Premier League home games. Did you understand the TIFO? I didn't understand the TIFO, really. Well, it's a sorcerer with a deck of cards in his hand.

51:04Luke Moore: It's just for the ace, wasn't it? Yeah.

51:07Pete Donaldson: So what? The ace of clubs. Are Aston Villa the ace of clubs? TIFOs normally have like a proper theme, don't they? Well, yeah, it's cards, gambling. It's gambling. It's gambling. Sorcerers.

51:20Vishal Bhatt: So come and get me a card. I'm a betting company. It wasn't that long ago.

51:23Pete Donaldson: They were doing a brilliant Aussie Osborne TIFO. And I'm just worried about the quality drop-off is all I'm saying.

51:28Luke Moore: Yeah, is that a reference to something that we don't get?

51:30Pete Donaldson: I think it might be. That's what I was asking. That's what I was asking. I just thought like,

51:34Luke Moore: oh, it's just wordplay.

51:35Vishal Bhatt: I think it's actually the historical wizard that used to live at what? Don't do the accent.

51:40Luke Moore: Yeah, where's he from then?

51:41Vishal Bhatt: This person you're talking to? He used to live in West Brom. Yeah. It's made it worse. That's absolutely spotless. Spotless Birmingham. What minute was the TIFO up? Stop picking on my minute. I'm trying to give people information Do you want to describe

51:54Luke Moore: Do you want to describe The exact nature of the Tifa For those who aren't You know Don't have access to pictures

51:59Vishal Bhatt: It's a purple wizard Holding A deck Well he was not holding A deck of cards He was holding He was holding five cards He was holding a royal flush He was holding a royal flush Is that a royal thing Because there's a lot of Royal support At St. Villa Is that a thing Oh Prince William A pro Prince Andrew message

52:16Luke Moore: He's not a Villa fan is he No

52:18Pete Donaldson: But the first reply to it Was it just a Birmingham fan Who had used AI to change the Sorcerer to Jimmy Savile. Right, okay.

52:27Vishal Bhatt: Really route one stuff. Oh yeah, it

52:29Pete Donaldson: would have taken such a short amount of time. Yeah. And they're just chucking it out there. Bit of Jimmy Savile, who was famously a Leeds fan anyway. Yeah, he's from Leeds. So what difference does it make?

52:40Vishal Bhatt: Well, with Aston Villa really falling off at this moment in time, and if they don't get in the Champions League next season through Europa or the league table, what will that mean for Unai Emery?

52:49Luke Moore: We discussed this on the Mailbag. The amount of injuries they've had, they're strange. Like a belief that they should be up there, I think. Well, I mean, I think there's also this looming threat of potential financial issues that they could come across. The fact that they've tried to cover, not necessarily deficiencies in their squad, but certainly almost temporary fixes for those kind of exciting attacking players that take you to the next level. Having them in loan signings primarily instead of being able to actually buy them outright. and obviously the sale of Jacob Ramsey. John McGinn, obviously a big part of them on and off the field.

53:27Luke Moore: He was quite vocal when they sold Ramsey to Newcastle about the way of the world and how Villa have to operate. So, I mean, it's not too surprising. But to me, it would be madness if they got rid of Emery thinking that he was the reason they can't get to the next level. At the same time, I don't know, if the results were only going one way, then it's pretty worrying.

53:48Pete Donaldson: There was an element here where they were going to revert to the mean at some point. If you look at the amount of goals they score in the Premier League, I think it's only Everton that have scored fewer than them in the top half. They've scored noticeably fewer goals than the other teams around them. They've finished fourth and sixth in the last two seasons. So if they land around about sixth again, it will be disappointing because of the way they've gone about it, which isn't actually massively dissimilar to what they did last season. The regret will be they forced their way into that top four and they haven't sustained it.

54:23Pete Donaldson: And then the other thing about it is that Emery doesn't hang around long at places as a manager generally. And if you think of the start of the season, they started the season really kind of quite poorly.

54:35Luke Moore: Yeah.

54:35Pete Donaldson: And it took them ages to get going. And I remember the conversation we were having then because they didn't win any of their first five games. I think they kicked off their season really with a home win against Fulham at the end of September. we were thinking oh is Emery's kind of are Emery's ideas starting to kind of dry up because he doesn't stick around places long then they turned it around on that massive massive like winning streak throughout November and December they won basically every game and then and now they've kind of dropped off a bit again but like I said they don't score enough goals they are trying to compete with essentially super clubs of course they spent a lot of money of course they spent a lot on wages and they might like you say have something coming down the track on the financial side for them.

55:20Pete Donaldson: They just need to possibly focus on the Europa League, maybe. Well, did they start firing in November

55:25Vishal Bhatt: because Emery gets a taste of European football? Maybe, yeah. They just play better when they're in Europe.

55:30Pete Donaldson: Yeah, because they had that. But they lost to go-ahead Eagles in that run, didn't they, as well? So it wasn't really necessarily that much to do with that. I just think they might find themselves just being accelerated away from by these other teams now, in which case Emery's got an amazing track record in the Europa League they should be able to beat Lille they should get past Lille right so they could possibly find themselves in that conversation you win the Europa League a club like Aston Villa got great pedigree in European competition it obviously gets you a ticket to the top table again so maybe it's an Ange Postacoglu type assessment from now on maybe

56:03Vishal Bhatt: did you see that Mikhail Mudrik is training at Uxbridge FC

56:07Luke Moore: I genuinely thought that was AI when I saw it

56:09Vishal Bhatt: it's hard to know these days you need Donaldson around to help you so he's serving a band for meldonium or something, which sounds like a diarrhoea sort of aida. Probably helps, I imagine. Probably affects the bomb at some point. But he's basically training. Everything does, isn't it? He's basically been doing drills at Uxbridge FC because he can't train with his team at Chelsea. Are Uxbridge FC not covered by the Football League? Is that a lot?

56:33Pete Donaldson: They would be probably too low to...

56:36Vishal Bhatt: But you're still an FA registered club, presumably, wouldn't you?

56:38Pete Donaldson: I think it gets to the point. As a non-league side? The answer is I don't know, but I think it does get to the point where you've got to let him... He's got to be... At some point... Is he an over-over-50s? All I'm saying is he has to be able to run around a field at some point to try and stay fit, right?

56:54Vishal Bhatt: But it's still an FA registered club. He shouldn't really be training with them, in my opinion.

56:58Luke Moore: Why is that? Yeah, I mean, let him. Yeah, he's got to...

57:01Vishal Bhatt: I don't know why they're not allowed to... I mean, is it him being training at Chelsea's... You know, with Chelsea's squad, does that improve their squad when he's banned? I don't know why you're not allowed to train at your own home base

57:13Pete Donaldson: what I do like is Wesley Fofana claimed that he's the fastest player he's ever seen right when they were at Chelsea together in a built up area if anyone knows anything about speed it's Wesley Fofana so you take it seriously yeah

57:27Vishal Bhatt: Meldonium sounds like something that Wizard might have at Aston Villa with his cards yeah maybe that was it

57:33Pete Donaldson: apparently Midricks on a he could be given a four year ban right yeah this has been

57:39Luke Moore: I mean, there's probably a lot of time behind the Man City stuff, but... Yeah.

57:44Pete Donaldson: He's 25 now.

57:46Vishal Bhatt: That's, you know, that's his money move, isn't it? That's... I think he must still

57:50Pete Donaldson: be earning money, surely. I think he'll still be

57:52Vishal Bhatt: on a bit of cash. I don't think he'll be short of any money and down in Uxbridge is probably worth double. Up in Uxbridge. Up in Uxbridge. Sorry, yes. Okay.

58:00Pete Donaldson: Yes, former Chelsea defender... Uxbridge is like basically part of London. Isn't that where you're from?

58:04Vishal Bhatt: It's near where I'm from, yeah, yeah. Uxbridge Road. Things cheaper in Uxbridge

58:09Luke Moore: as it would be to a point.

58:11Vishal Bhatt: Rather than like Chelsea, like Chelsea by its very nature is money, You're from part of the pool though. I am. Yeah, everything's expensive.

58:17Pete Donaldson: Yeah.

58:19Vishal Bhatt: Well, in a similarly moneyed part of London, Fulham, nil, West Ham won, Somerville, 65th minute. Your boys took one out of the beaten.

58:29Pete Donaldson: Difficult one to take if you're a Fulham fan, that isn't it?

58:31Vishal Bhatt: It's a stinker. Yeah, I mean, West Ham are clambering out of it. and to your point earlier on in the show Lukey Moore Spurs are now just one point above the relegations

58:44Pete Donaldson: I mean Fulham are an amazing team as far as they will surprise you don't worry about that they will affect the league table in some way but they will happily lose at home to West Ham they'll happily lose at home to Crystal Palace you know they'll happily lose at home to Everton you know they just got this thing in them where either it comes to the manager where they just anything that's not a glamour tie oh Marco Silva's not interested in it

59:06Luke Moore: they're an absolute reversible tie of a football team. They totally are.

59:10Vishal Bhatt: They totally are. All things to all men.

59:13Pete Donaldson: And great to hear that Big John was at the cottage though. Where did he get that Chinese from?

59:17Vishal Bhatt: Yeah, Big John.

59:17Pete Donaldson: He must have delivered that.

59:19Vishal Bhatt: Big John was eating a... He must have bought it from home. Big John the Chinese. I would love to be a Chinese meal influence. So why didn't I get that gig? You should have done. I've kind of loved it.

59:27Luke Moore: The only thing you're missing is filming yourself eating it because...

59:29Pete Donaldson: Yeah. You got a little catchphrase as well? Goodness me. You did goodness me instead of bosh, couldn't you? Yeah, goodness me. Can I have a go in now? do an audition down the camera list a load of Chinese foods and then instead of going bosh at the end go goodness me and we'll see if we like it

59:43Vishal Bhatt: I'm here with my usual order in your own voice not the man from Birmingham you've done before I'm here with my beautiful crispy jelly beef lemon chicken egg fried rice special if I'm feeling fancy and also hot and sour soup hot and sour soup maybe some barbecue spare ribs as well do your catchphrase at the end commit to it am I gonna kill again

1:00:07Pete Donaldson: is it as good as Big John I think I think what we've seen it's about as good

1:00:10Vishal Bhatt: as that bloke who eats roasts at 7am yeah the bloke looks like a bug he's got Bosch as well yeah he's a Boschman Tom Skinner Tom Skinner yeah

1:00:21Luke Moore: reforms Tom Skinner what we've learned here

1:00:23Pete Donaldson: reforms Tom Skinner I ain't political I ain't political at all I ain't political but I love Nigel listen you've shown us there that what something that Big John does which looks to be very simple right is actually proven by you to be quite hard. You couldn't even say the words hot and sour soup.

1:00:39Vishal Bhatt: Yeah.

1:00:39Pete Donaldson: You stumbled over it.

1:00:41Luke Moore: He does it one take as well.

1:00:42Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. Does he? We don't know. We don't see all the cutting room flow with Big John, do we? I think he does. I think he's an old hand at it. I think he orders a Chinese, he messes up one link and then they order another Chinese for him to bosh through. That's all I'm saying.

1:00:54Luke Moore: So you don't mind if we reorder that Chinese?

1:00:56Vishal Bhatt: Big John needs to be protected. I want my money!

1:00:57Pete Donaldson: He's one of the only types of those influencers who seems like actually a sensible bloke. Seems like actually an all right bloke. Exactly, yeah. He's one of the better ones. This is where we eye the world

1:01:05Luke Moore: and I love overeating. He's genuinely one of my favourite things to do. Yeah, I agree. Probably end me back in the, you know, eventually. But I like the way, he's the only sensible man in the room. The amount he piles on his plate. I know, I know.

1:01:20Pete Donaldson: But politically he's not been co-opted. A lot of them are stupid, right? So they get co-opted by grifters.

1:01:25Vishal Bhatt: Oh, they're in the Burge Cleaver in their gyms and posting that video of the guy flipping the phone. Exactly. Have you seen it? No. Don't show me now Every Dubai influencer Who's basically Trying to say That they're actually Cool with this Because they're very Protected by the Dear leaders And they keep Posting this video Of one of the Dear leaders Doing this with his phone Have you seen it? No Flipping his phone And it's like And it makes me laugh Because whoever That leader is I'm not familiar With anyone's name In football And outside of football To be honest He would have said Right We need a video For all the influencers Who are in our pocket to post that Dubai is safe, the UAE is safe, and all these countries are safe.

1:02:05Vishal Bhatt: Can we do the cool one where I'm flipping my phone around? It's brilliant. It's absolutely lame as fuck. Where were we? Chinese food, Fulham being absolutely belly tickling fun, and Spurs... Pork belly tickling. Pork belly tickling fun.

1:02:20Luke Moore: And then do the catchphrase. I'm going to kill again. Changes every time. If it changes every time, it's not a catchphrase.

1:02:29Vishal Bhatt: I'm going to kill again. I can't understand let's not linger happy to wrap up soon let's not linger happy to wrap up soon hoisin duck rap Adama Traore has been banned from lifting weights at West Ham's training ground Nuno is admiring he's giving admiring glances towards Adama Traore about his incredible physique and his genetics but he's telling him to just calm it down

1:02:59Pete Donaldson: it's a brilliant quote let me read the quote it's incredible his physique it's genetics but his genetics have been like this for some time now

1:03:07Vishal Bhatt: yeah yeah yeah who is the beast mode footballer Akin Fedner yeah

1:03:11Luke Moore: you didn't like the beast mode thing because you insisted that he was fat I didn't like him

1:03:16Vishal Bhatt: yeah I think it's a bit adamatory low percentage play

1:03:19Pete Donaldson: from Pete I think he's trying to say

1:03:22Vishal Bhatt: yes we all we're all very admiring of your big arms but I think a lot of like big weighty guys do it does belie a sort of lack of mobility but also some slight kind of carrying a little bit of timber outside of the muscle maybe. Is that fair? Yeah. I think he's trying to be kind.

1:03:40Luke Moore: Well, it's going to be, you know, heavier. Muscle is denser than fat. It is. We've all said that. If he's got that much muscle, obviously it'll affect, as you say, his liveness and his joints and stuff. He likes live footballers. To get belly tickled, you have to be live.

1:03:55Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I see what you mean. I think that... We'd be like playing the xylophone if you tickled his belly though. what's curious about this that comes specifically to Adama Traore though is that yes he's a tank right and he's obviously very strong and he almost ended Marco Correa and Jao Pedro in one foul swoop like it was Street Fighter 2 Turbo but actually his issues I don't think stem from that his issues stem from the fact that his end product his decision making is fucking dreadful and that's got nothing to do with his frame big heavy legs you know what I mean if you look at the output it's not because he's The output doesn't say, you know, two assists, one goal again this season because he's got massive biceps.

1:04:36Pete Donaldson: It's not because he can't play. It's because his decision-making is so poor. Yeah, but yeah, I guess... I guess the way I'm looking at it would be, if he was much slimmer and much more lithe, would that change anything? Because he doesn't have a problem beating players. Maybe his brain's got creatine poisoning. Could have. It could have. Yeah, it could have. It's a real shame. Should have thought that, shouldn't I?

1:04:58Vishal Bhatt: Yeah. the main point is we've not lingered we've wrapped up soon thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network we'll be back tomorrow for the previous show say goodbye Vish goodbye and say goodbye Lukey Moore goodbye looking forward to the big match tomorrow yeah who is back tomorrow what's he fucking doing who's on the show hang on do we need to say do we need to say who's on the show do we not usually say don't edit any of this don't edit any of this no he said goodbye because because we usually say are we looking forward

1:05:26Luke Moore: to the big game tomorrow

1:05:27Vishal Bhatt: I don't know what he meant. The big game. The big fucking nerd. I thought he meant this first game tonight. No, the magic. Say again? Right, well, that's usually in the running order. So I don't think that's the strange thing to ask. You don't read the live running order. You print it out fucking two days before. I've got it all, but I'm just screening it with my recently charged fucking laptop. Why did you make so many mistakes then? I haven't said anything offensive and that's an update. Oh, great. Right. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble. Part of the Aircraft Great Cry. Right. I'm going.

1:05:58Vishal Bhatt: Fuck off. Fuck off. It's dead. Chunky. Fuck off. Oh, no.

1:06:10Luke Moore: Marcus will be back tomorrow.

1:06:38Thank you.

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