Best of Ramble Uncut 2025

0:00Hello and Happy New Year Ramblers! 2025 was a great year here at Ramble HQ, made all the greater by our friends of the Ramble. And you know what? It was a bloody good year for them too, damn it all. That's because they got Ramble Uncut every single Wednesday, a bonus show exclusively available for our friends of the Ramble. So today, we're sharing some of our favourite moments from 2025 to give you a taste of what you could be getting too for just five bucks a month. And right now you can get 15 % off any annual subscription. That means 15 % off to be a friend of the ramble throughout 2026. Click the link in the show notes to find out more.

0:42We kick off today's episode with some good old-fashioned fibbing.

1:01Everyone has been through a phase in their life where you just encounter liars. It happens at school, but I think a real sweet spot of it is when maybe you've just left college, you're a little bit older, you're sort of 18, 19, you're sort of hanging out in pubs a bit more regularly. And you're still surrounded by a lot of adolescents who want to impress people. It's about the baron at uni. It's not about the baron, but he'd be a great example, actually, of someone who just really, really obviously lied about weird stuff. there was a kid called Gary who went to a pub that I went to a lot when I was younger Was he friends with Hated Martin?

1:35He I don't know if he would have known Hated Martin I only met Hated Martin once and he told me that he thought it should be legal to kill people if you could later prove they were a prick I was like I've met you for two minutes and your name makes so much sense so Hated Martin it's amazing that a man could suit that name But you only started talking to him because you were Hated Jim right? No no no he was introduced to me as some sort of punishment for something I'd done I would imagine Were you in the OPSEC signal group for haters. What did Gary say? So Gary said, and this would have been about, I suppose, 20 years ago, so it would have been a bit older than 18, 19, because he said that he'd been in an airport and he had some drumsticks with him.

2:13This is great. And he was drumming on his backpack. Right. Yeah. Deftones walked past. Deftones. What is this? It's presumably what airport is it? I don't know if he ever specified it or why he was there. Yes. And they said to him, Well, you really got something, man. Do you want to come and help us with our album? And so he claimed that he helped Deftones make their album White Pony because they saw him drumming on his bag at an airport. And he told loads of people this. Just an astonishing line. Wasn't White Pony their first album? Around the First. I thought Around the First was the second one, wasn't it?

2:48I had another one before that called Adrenaline, possibly. Oh, yes. Okay, that makes sense. That's an excellent line. I mean, I just sort of think that, like, I mean, the Deftones as well.

3:00so maybe maybe they could use a bit of help how old is he? he would have been early 20s I would think maybe a little bit younger and what year was this? what year did White Pony come out? because that was so he was saying it was a recent thing he was saying it was a recent thing? yeah when did White Pony come out? I want to know now we should definitely answer that 2000 June 2000 so it would have been around then I remember a kid at my junior school turning his whole personality into because one day he just decided to tell us that his dad was in the Vietnam War. And obviously, I didn't really know this at the time.

3:33It's a big shout, isn't it? There were no British troops there. No. So, what I wish... I mean, this is one of the biggest regrets of my life. If I had a time machine, I would go back to 1988 and say to that guy... Vietnamese Martin, his name wasn't. No, it wasn't. His name was Che, weirdly enough. C-H-E, Che. I was thinking about it. he's probably named after Shea Guevara. Right. I mean, why else would you be called Shea? Why else would your dad be involved in the Vietnam War? But I would go back in the time machine and I'd say to him, oh, is your dad American then, is he? Yeah. And then probably Tracy McMullen, who's a guy I fancied, would have thought I was really impressive and funny and would have probably got on your motorbike because you've burned off into the distance.

4:14Could he have met the Falklands? Might he have been confused? Yeah. I see what you're saying, but it's unlikely you'd be confused about the war your dad was in. Isn't it? Fair. You know, My dad left the armed forces the year before the Falklands and he still had that kind of like training they put in your head that he was really wanting to go out and fight in the Falklands rather than hang out with me, which is a real taint on my record as a child. Your dad was really sad not to go. Yeah, because he's still in the mode, I suppose, in many ways. And he's had to spend most of his time with you. With me, exactly, yeah.

4:49You probably presented as a weird kid quite early, I think. He spent a lot of time on the toilet just smoking tabs. I wish I was in a war. I wish I was on a burning war trip. No, I wish I wasn't in this war. I wish I was in that one. A boy in my school once said that he had a speedboat that when it crashes, a smaller speedboat comes up the side. I was like, when does that... When... When... Where does it end with you? When does it end? Because you have a smaller speedboat... Yeah, exactly. Good point. Yeah. Like a Matryoshka doll. or whatever they're called. Plan for the worst, as they say. He also had another lie about having a brother in the loft, which we won't get to.

5:30It was pretty rough stuff. It was his brother allowed the speedboat. Pretending to have a speedboat isn't a lie enough. No. I mean, I guess we were on the course, so it makes sense. When it crashed, another one comes up the side. No, it comes up the side, yeah. Specifically when it crashes. Crashes, yeah. No other way to get it out. I hope I never have to use it. Shall we put seatbelts in this ship, Nick? It's a nice problem to have, isn't it? It is. Why isn't Tesla's than that? Have a little car that goes in the bigger car. If one of you survives this crash, you're fine. Did he also claim that that would carry on happening?

6:04Like Jim says, like a mature speedboat. Yeah, like a recursive fractal speedboat collection of things. Until the speedboat is too small. Like a monkey on a too small motorbike at the circus. It's wearing it like a shoe. yeah it's a weird it's a weird thing to come up with but also just do you remember when we were flirting with ITV2 or ITV16 or whatever it was trying to oh god are we responsible for the ITV digital collapse partially Jim used to work for them inside job that was Kevin Keegan's moment I was in charge of scheduling hot fuzz it was a very easy job when do we want a break? Presumably when it gets interesting right in the middle of a sentence actually when's it going out?

6:55every other night we were thinking of features because you remember Pete did his you know when Pete goes all mediary he goes guys guys we need like an actual sort of name on board they're not going to take us and then he suggests like we're really shit and we need somebody so we for some reason we were chucking out names of who could we do like a little stupid feature for us. And a few like sort of B, C, D, Z list celebrities. And then you get to, we're a different alphabet. We're hieroglyphics, I think, in this. We're on wingdings. Our names are scrawled on the bog somewhere. Anyway, and Peter Andre's name was mentioned.

7:33What? And I said, no, because this is what I mean. These are the meetings we used to have. And my goodness, I missed them. Well, Peter Andre was involved. I don't remember. No, we were just chucking out ideas. which sort of dick is celebrity? Is this a big long set up for that joke you read about Peter Andre when you did stand up? No, but I can say that if you want. Do it after. Carry on. Do it after we finish recording. Two for the price of life. If you've got any gags, Vish, I'd love to hear them. Yeah. But this one, lashing out. Lashing out. No, yeah. Lashing out. Actually, you know what? Why don't you do the Jordan Doak then?

8:02Fine. But we'll see on the stage, won't we? You think you can whip me? You whip me with the gloves on. Yeah. As Evander Holyfield would say. Finish your story. That's not the point of our show. Isn't it? It's not like fighting talk. I think you've misunderstood. Bloody good show on BBC that. And I suggested that we should do a feature, you know, a bit like having Peter Andre on the dubious goals panel, deciding whether it was a goal or not. Oh, that's a good idea. And the feature was going to be called Mysterious Goals. That's a good idea. Thank you. I can't believe they didn't take it up. Do you remember speaking of that, though?

8:34The one that sticks in my mind is when you two... basically inspired and egged on by Peter made try to make me go to see Clint Hill he was your mate and tell him that we want him to do a feature with us called Clint Hill takes pills and he bangs a load of beans yeah we give him just a mystery bag of lots of different pills yeah and I was sitting there going I was sitting there going he's captain of QPR there's absolutely no way he's also by the way a terrifying scouser who likes to fight. There's no way I'm putting this to him. And Pete's compromise. A lot of them would have just been paracetamol, mate.

9:12Yeah. He had to document the effects and film himself. What, a professional athlete doesn't want to take a load of mysterious pills? Bang a load of beans. Don't worry, we've had a look at the substance list and none of these are on there. But Pete wanted to not back down entirely because he didn't want to let go of a Clint Hill-based idea. It's a good idea, that. He said, what if I get him to walk around looking around really frightened and I'll photoshop a load of mandrills in the fucking video. We'll call it Clint Hill sees mandrills. But what's fucking happening here? But that's a two-parter for me.

9:47Obviously the effects of one of the pills of the one pill that, you know, shouldn't have been in there. Uh-oh, how did that happen? That was roadie's career. Yeah, the framing of that as well. Clint Hill gets red-pilled. Bring it up to date. The only one who's got access to Clint Hill. He's saying, I appreciate he'll be a bit confused by this, so I will lead him around. Yeah, I know. It's not realistic. It's fair to say, though, you bottled it and didn't ask him. Absolutely fair to say that. It's very easy to see a retro where we've never been on TV. Well, you're right, we haven't been on TV, but I apparently made a cameo.

10:25I said apparently, I've got it in front of me. Oh, yeah, I saw this. Yeah, I made a cameo on. Are we going to do Peter Andrejroke first, because it'll die a death and you'll hopefully stop doing it. So it was more relevant yesterday year. What year were we talking? Put a year on it. You know, in the past. 2010. It could be. I'd say about 2010. Yeah, sounds about right. Okay, so 15 years ago you did this joke. Let me look it up. To be fair though, that was when I was doing the... The washboard stuff as well. Where's my washboard? You know what actually? I hope this is not a spoiler but Peter Andre, he divorced Jordan aka Katie Price in 2009.

10:57Yeah, okay. It was around that time. So it must have been about 2009-10. So you picked a side, okay. Oh yeah. Although I, do you know what though? I think I went to, well, I'll save that. I don't want to give away the gag. But I think I went to the country in question in 2011. Okay, right. But it was the talk of the town for years, those two, of course. But I would start my very, very much grassroots open mic stand-up set. I think I've said this before on the show, but my goodness, it's so good I think people will want to hear it again that I would say, hey, anybody here been on holiday? you know and obviously they're already in the palm of my hand and they're in Surrey aren't they so of course they've been on hold of them Jim well as you know as well as I do that the open mic nights are all in London because you've done them yourself and you once hosted a gig when I was there and so you know don't be so harsh on the Surrey people but so I said they've suffered enough haven't they I have yeah their big houses and their fucking cars well you know farmer's tax not so much in Surrey to be fair actually estate tax all that and so you're on holiday and I say well I recently went on holiday and I can say that one of the main differences now between myself and Peter Rondre is that I came away from Jordan feeling cultured and refreshed and you couldn't move for applause I remember you being carried out of one of the venues yeah by security before that joke but I did say that you couldn't move for applause doesn't make any sense doesn't make any sense well wherever you went in the building you could hear it And I told that joke at the Great Hall in Winchester, which is, you could argue, one of the most historic buildings in England.

12:35That's got King Arthur's round table in it, right? Yeah, I mean, obviously, was there ever a round table? But it is there. But it's there. The physical item is there. That's what you're talking about, the entire lineage of the... I've been there, yeah. Yeah, would you say it's one of the most historical buildings in England? It probably is. It certainly is because Winchester used to be the capital of England, so it probably is. And can you imagine the people that have spoken in that place? And do you like the fact that I've added to it with that joke? I feel like this might be building up towards something.

12:55If I do imagine the illustrious people that have trodden those boards, all roads might lead to you again. And I'm worried about that, to be honest. From Alfred the Great to Marcus Speller. The Great. Direct line. Yeah. King Arthur did actually roll over in his grave when he was heard to be mumbling, I suppose, you know, it is always nice to have a Marcus in the Great Hall. He said, get him round that table. He probably said, put an arrow through that cunt's head. Put it right on his eye. Oi, come on. You know what that happened to. I'm going to put another one right up his jacksie. No, that'll do.

13:26Come on, come on. Nice to hear the word jacksie. It is. Yeah, all right. I'll concede there, definitely. But I made a cameo on the Southend United Football Club YouTube channel, which is the official YouTube channel of Southend United, when we were talking about... Not one of those unofficial affiliates. Not one of those. Not one of the many imitations, you see. Yeah, exactly. Evan is a shrimper. It was all about the young America. We covered the story, didn't we? Which is probably why you're in there. Which is why I was in there. I also... I think it was just my voice. I was on some sort of NFL fantasy draft or something.

13:57Do you remember? One, but... The one by Nabe? Yeah. What was that? It was about... I think it was basically like any other business type thing. Was it NFL or was it... It was an NFL show. It was during the playoffs and it was basically about... That's quite big. They've got quite a big following. Yeah, yeah. What do you think about jumping ship? I'm a man for the big occasion. From the Great Hall to... A lot of people listen to you and they say, he's a man for the big occasion. could he feasibly do a really good NFL show? Yeah. Can't even name five players. I can. Go on then. Don't say The Fridge.

14:30Here we go. Barry Grintel is about to come out. Madden. Yeah, there's one. Madden, The Fridge. OJ Simpson. Babe Ruth. Chad Jones. Good one, yeah. Almost certainly going to be one. Yeah, he probably is actually. Tommy Pawalski. Yeah, good. Yeah, there you go. You see, there's a few there. You're not endearing yourself to our American listenership with this stuff. Oh, I think I am. I think I am. You'll decide. Troy Cowboy. They're all there. So the way Southend United covered their Evan as a shrimper thing, which everyone listening to this will already know about, was that they put it on their YouTube channel and they allowed, for some reason, they chose Marcus talking about it to introduce the story, right?

15:08Well, no, I'm just saying they could have chosen anything. It was covered by loads of different media. TNT Sports chose us to do the intro for the fan bit of Newcastle VPSG, you know. That's because Jules made them, wasn't it? Did she make them? She said, come on. Yeah. Get the lads in. Give this little lad a break. They want a ticket. They want a ticket. Like she said, she pointed to Marcus, patted him on the head, to the TNT executive and said, I've got a boy here and he's sick. Yeah. Didn't have to say anything else. Very unwell. They were convinced by that. Straight in front of the mic. Indeed, yeah.

15:38Yeah, it was honestly, it was like fucking children in need. Marcus, single solitary tear, holding his little pudsy bear. Did he have a little cap on as well? This man's got one wish and it's to present a fairly rudimentary short insert on TNT Sport. Yeah. Yeah, wasn't it? From 6pm, they wouldn't know the coverage starts that early, but at 6pm for 6.15. No, it was good to do TNT Sport for Newcastle United. It was interesting. We got a lot of stick from it from our listenership, of course. Hey, stay with us. I said to them, I said to them right now, I said in the production, I said, I've got a fucking great feature here about Flint Hill.

16:12You won't believe this.

16:21can I bring something to the table which really tickled me that I was hoping we were going to do on the show I would love you to do that we didn't have time so I'd do it now please have you seen this stuff that came out from Henrik Mkhitaryan's autobiography love it absolutely love it right so Mkhitaryan's released in the autobiography presumably he's a big deal in Armenia right I mean that's very safe to say I've never been to Armenia I've never been to any of these but he's one that if he's not a big deal you'd hope so I know he's who else have they got I know he's still playing I could read my level where's Tony Blair so Tony Blair McEterian is his full name you're a bit harsh on Blair on the main show why because you were like insinuating that he was just like utter shit where's this come from pathetic isn't it Bish unbelievable I'm just saying considering what's come from after well exactly in a way it was his fault is it some of it is you don't blame Nirvana for Puddle of Mud do you you don't blame Libertines for the Pidget Detective you don't blame Luke Moore for fishing Hunter Roger the most annoying thing about the Pigeon Detectives is actually coming out with a song that simply lets dance to Joy Division that's the Wombats Wombats oh is it yeah embarrassing from Fish that whatever one of them Pete Danson they're both as bad as each other call it Indie Landfill ask Pete Danson about the idea of his broadcasting career when I think it was Absolute Radio sent him all the way to Leeds to interview the Pigeon Detectives you've got to go still on the phone no you can't do it on the phone anyway Mkhitaryan's put an autobiography out presumably it's targeted at the Armenian market guys and I know he's still playing at a top very high level but he's one of those players you don't think about him as much and so when he pops up it's surprising he wrote in his autobiography about what his relationship was like when he was at Manchester United under Jose Mourinho and the quote is absolutely amazing it's good isn't it I had lost my patience with Mourinho I said to him you have been criticising me for two years you are shit he said I never want to see you again he would not say a word to me in training he's a manager right one of his players he would not say a word to me in training but every night he'd send me a text saying please leave so I can get Alexis he'd say a WhatsApp every night Mickey please go away so good isn't it so so good please go away I'm just saying like I want to get Alexis blue ticks no response yeah 24 hours later please go away it's just unimaginable imagine having a job where you've got people working for you and you don't speak to them all day and in the evening you just text them when they're having a little bit of dinner saying you're shit please go away Vish we want Brasel back Jose's sitting on his couch next to his wife and she's like what are you doing he's like oh nothing oh sentence yeah but Lampard and Terry said that didn't they that he would text them like of an evening and go what are you up to and he'd be like oh I'm just sat down I'm watching this documentary and Jose would be like, I am, I'm watching it as well.

19:18Yeah, it's really good. And he was like, and they would think, oh, it was a conversation. They'd be like, yeah, and I really love the bit. I couldn't believe that, you know, they actually, you know, didn't, it wasn't a lackey that built the pyramids. How about that or whatever? And nothing. Yeah. Nothing back. Like what? And Lampard's thing was like, is this a test? Yeah. Should I not be watching TV? He's still all the time. Yeah. I've just sent a message, text message to a producer Finn saying, please go away I want to get Don from goal hanging

19:46it's the Paul Clement it's the Paul Clement yeah Paul Clement although Clement then when he sort of goes I'll have a go at number one it didn't quite work out which is a bit of a shame no exactly exactly the same as Carlos Kira that was so he Karsley as well a little bit of that about him making the step up to the temporary England job I think I think Karsley definitely I say definitely I think he could be a future England manager but Karsley wasn't an assistant manager sure he was just I love Carlos Kira do you remember that Karl's Curious is basically on Alex Ferguson's tit every season and every so often he'd take a year away from the tit go and try a bit of formula milk didn't like it very much get back on the fardy tit again I remember that be quick Real Madrid is a Real Madrid maybe not maybe as like as full of milk ready for the challenge I don't know but the best thing is that Paul Clement is from South London never played a football game in a professional capacity and those two things you could say the same about Andy Brasson you could but although one of them is now assistant manager of Brazil yes the other one of Brazil yeah that's lovely assistant manager of Brussels yeah raising a family that's true yeah I loved it though when Kiros I think he came back for the second time but I remember on the pod you just going Uncle Alex I've failed again get me back on that tape get me some of that delicious colostrum delicious football colostrum do you know what don't say that because Pete will find some AI thing and yeah he sent me the other day go on can't wait for this itself he sent me one of the day which is fruit eating itself okay i want let's go through these one by one this is on instagram by the way so it's not some like and he wouldn't send that to me i've well you wouldn't know how to open it what my phone would let me i've got a pete donaldson setting which apple give you by the way yeah um it was i've never seen that ghastly film child's play the horror film oh yeah with chucky yeah i was actually talking to my wife about my son going as chucky to Halloween this year.

21:38Fucking hell. That'd be good. It's funny, isn't it? Yeah, it's good. I'm not going to kill anyone. It's not real. I'm not going to give him an actual knife. Oh, yeah, sorry. I'm being a bit silly here. Anyway, fine. Anyway, Pete sent me an AI thing. A video nasty. I'll let you decide that it's a video nasty. And it's... I presume it's a scene where this bloke finds the doll for the first time and he picks it up and he's like, what's that? Yeah, I can't remember that thing. Yeah, I think it's like under the sink or in a cupboard or something or whatever and he picks it up and obviously our version is he then just starts getting off of it and I was like thank Peter and I was like the great thing about Pete's sharing of memes is that he he's always kissing he curates them from the individuals he does yeah it's like it's like there are swathes and swathes of the internet that I couldn't find if he gave me like a week and gave me like an actual lesson into how to sort of surf the dark web the things Pete can find he's not it's not too dark web it's not we're not saying he's like I don't think he's a wrong one bet he's been on there no but that's but what you're saying that's just to buy drugs I bet he knows yeah if I need to find out how to go on there he's going to be the first person I ask that's all I'm saying is that right what was it he sent you a load of an AI generated top 10 video of the top 10 fruits eating themselves right so basically it's like a So is it a banana eating a different banana or a banana eating itself?

23:12So imagine like a kind of anthropomorphised banana with a face eating a tiny banana. What was number one? Blueberry. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah. I love that you remembered that. Pineapple must have been in there. Yeah. I can't really remember. Blueberry's definitely number one. Was a tomato in there? Because that's actually a fruit, Jim. Marcus, it's very difficult to discern what the ranking system was based on. Yes. I'll be honest with you. because they're all very similar. But they tallied it up at the end. Yeah. Steve Clarke said, these are the rankings. Jim, do you not even know that tomato is a fruit?

23:43I did know that. Oi, who's your mate, Mark? Turns out. Who's your mate? Do you want to say, knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad, Jim. Have you heard that one before? Uh-huh. Yeah. And to assume, Jim, is to make a knob out of you and me. Yes. Right. Jim, do you know that we know more about the surface of the moon than we do our own oceans? I did know that, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah. I assumed it. Carlos Curious knows that. Does he? Yeah, Fergie told him. Oh, dearie me. Why is he getting so many strays, Carlos Curious? He's not. He's getting as many strays as Robbie Earl got last week.

24:16His Iran side were quite charitable to England in the last World Cup. We enjoyed that. I mean, that is a stray though, isn't it? Yeah. Iran. I'll have marriage them. He looks great for 72, Carlos Curious. 72? 72? You heard it, yeah. Wow. It's all that Ferguson milk. Yeah, it kept him young. That's he kept him young. Maybe he still goes back there. Yeah. A little suck on it. That's true. Yeah, a little suck on it. Maybe Fergie should have a little... You've got to come around and get up. Maybe some cheese from it. Take it. Yeah. And old... What was his name? Mike Phelan? More than a Phelan. More than a Phelan?

24:48Yeah, he's 104. He must have been on the T's as well. Higher or lower? Do you think Mike Phelan's older or younger than Kiros? He's younger than Kiros. Younger. Older? You're out of your mind. What? Why give the option if it isn't... He's 10 years younger. 10 years. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I didn't think it was older, but I didn't think it warranted that. Which of all the best... This is the proper uncut business now. You don't want to get us on another podcast. And there's a good reason for it. Yeah, we're talking about managers' teats. Of all the famous Ferguson assistants, who do you reckon sucked on the tit most greedily?

25:19Because you've got Phelan, you've got Kidd, you've got McLaren, you've got Kieros, you've got... What's the fellow Marcus who was with... Archie Knox, he was at Ferguson for a while, wasn't he? Archie's not having a suck on the tit. He's having a bike. They're all having a suck on it, Marcus. That's part of the deal. Yeah, you've got to. you've got to power yourself up you're not good enough on your own that's the whole point rank them Marcus have some of the serum Knox Kieros Kidd no Knox is not Knox would have had an understanding McLaren he would have looked to that and gone no put them away Ferguson famously you're not telling Ferguson to put his face away if you're Archie Knox you are Jim he's the only guy Jim you know why Ferguson always wore that May United blazer as well because underneath the shirt a little flap to the tip yeah sure a little flap down there and get stuck into it.

26:04What other assistants were there? No, I'll tell you what, class of 92 are having a suckle. Feeling. Oh, there still are. It's the next thing. That's why Solskjaer started so well. It's the next live overlap fan debate. They've already started selling tickets. Well, hang about. Did Kieros manage Beckham? I think he did. What, Madrid? Yeah. Could have done. I'll have a look if you want. Yeah, because I think maybe Beckham moved there to get away from it. I think McLaren is the most hardcore suckler no he managed England he had the biggest ambitions he would have done because didn't Beckham go to Real Madrid in 2003 so Kiroz was there there you go no I think McLaren have had a little suck alright okay that's enough and then get on with it yeah I think McLaren strikes with the kind of guy who would probably still want to go back for a little suck top himself up why not it's about marginal gains well Jimmy that means sucking on your your kind of mentor's nipples to improve your own performance.

27:00Wisdom. Yeah. Yeah, then you're going to do it, aren't you? Colostrum, nutrients, wisdom. Yeah. It's the reason they call it liquid gold. Exactly. Maybe a little bit of charisma. Rest is best. I'll tell you something. Reuben Amarum could do without having a sack. I could. If I was Sir Alex, I'd go down there and I would say, I've got nipples, Reuben. Could you suck on these? I could definitely see Amarum getting called into a meeting room quite ceremonially. Yeah. As people have got gowns on and stuff. and they say Ruben there's only one thing left for you to do there's one stone that is as yet still unturned in your quest for success as main at a merger you know the supplies were depleted for a long while because Solskjaer was insatiable for it he could not get enough of it as a player on a merger it became a bit of an addiction did Mourinho do you reckon when he went there I reckon Mourinho did yeah respectfully but I think he would have sensuously I think he would have said squeeze a bit into a shot glass and I'll do one like that.

28:00Like a grappa. Like a little grappa. I think Amarim, as we speak right now, could be getting stuck into it. Last row of dice. Rennie Muenenstein was another. He's another assistant. Oh yeah, he's high on the milk. Yeah, definitely. He is. He's rektagob, isn't he? Stirring some weed in things. You don't even get weed in milk. Yeah, outrageous. Yeah. I thought, this can't get any worse. bang! I can always get worse since you worry about that point. You know when you hit the wall, don't you? And I would say to the producers, if you don't want us talking about people sucking on Ferguson's tits, don't put it in the running order.

28:36None.

28:40So I'll contextualise it for people who don't remember. I think I can remember a bit of it. So 2010 in June, Robbie Earle has his contract cancelled by ITV and has binned off the World Cup coverage because... He was a big pundit. Well, because... Yeah. Yeah, he was, he was. Because he gave some World Cup tickets away for the Netherlands v. Denmark match. Now he says he gave them on to a friend who sold them on to a company called Bavaria Brewery who orchestrated an ambush marketing event which is in breach of FIFA rules. It was the ladies, wasn't it? Yeah, all these attractive Dutch women. But obviously, Bavaria Brewery were not an approved FIFA sponsor.

29:18So he was in contravention of that rule which he signed up to as being part of a FIFA event and he lost his job, right? He then lost his job as being an ambassador for England's World Cup 2018 bid, which went well. Could have used him. Maybe that's why we didn't get it. But, so he then came out and said, look, you know, it was naive. It was proven that he didn't profit in any way, which he didn't. And he was kind of gutted, but he lost his job, right? You feel it's a bit Sam Allardyce in Wings Restaurant. Kind of in a way. Silly thing to do. Until you get into the detail, which is remarkable. And there's two details I want to say, just give to you.

29:53One is He was on 150 grand a year For doing that 150 grand for Robbie Earle Which is wild What do you mean as in that's too much That was his contract Are you mad What's he bringing He's on ITV television Is that a lot of money Yeah but like compared to BBC He wouldn't get that on the BBC He'd be on 80 But 150 on ITV I share in Luke's Exclaming of that People focus too much on the price And not the value he did score Jamaica's first ever goal in the World Cup yeah he did and that's fair enough the worst I'm just building up to the main one here we go I'm just building up for this right guess how many free tickets Robbie fucking Earl got for that World Cup I mean so I what in total or just that match I can give you the in total number for the tournament and the amount for the final right so why is Robbie Earl getting any tickets so I would you change your tune see I would think per game if he was interested.

30:52I'm thinking a handful. Right. Like up to four. That would be a reasonable amount. That's what I would think, yeah. Without trying to ruin the answer. I don't have the per game. I only have the tournament in total and for the final. Right. So you've got the main game. Do you want the final first or the tournament? Because you are going to be fucking, you're going to shit an embryo at both of them, I'm telling you. Let's go for the whole tournament then. 400. 400 tickets for the World Cup. Yeah, but I kind of, again, the break, I mean that is how many what World Cup year was this? 2010 2010 so I'm thinking I mean how many games would they have been at that World Cup?

31:2798 was still 64 matches 64 matches yeah about 60 right there you go yeah it is a lot what about the final then? guess how many tickets so again I'm thinking Robbie L would give him for the final of the World Cup three tickets per match he's one pundit on one broadcaster hang on so Pete you've just done the calculations it's three tickets per match 3.1 tickets per match That goes in what I'm saying about four. But the final was quite heavily front. Yeah. We couldn't get in it. No. We couldn't. We were outside. We were outside. Go on then. With our boo-boo zeller. I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll do it like Bruce Forsyth.

32:01There we go. Play your cards right. Right. Yeah. So I'll get an opening offer from Pete. Yeah. And then Marcus, you go higher or lower. Fine. And then we'll work it out. Fine. So Pete, how many tickets do you think Robbie Earle got for the World Cup final? Robbie Earle in 2010. I think he got five. Five. So. No, I'll watch higher or lower. I mean it has to be high but I don't want to kind of okay higher than five you say I think five is high yeah I think higher than five what are you going for so I would have gone for four or five right so I think the way you're talking about this he got 20 tickets 20 tickets for the World Cup final Robbie L yeah go on Pete would you go higher or lower than that no god no nowhere near okay I feel I might have won this the answer is 40

32:49it's just Jesus Christ it's just obscene 40 tickets it's obscene and he reportedly didn't sell any of them sorry sorry Dutch fans that have travelled yeah Robbie L's Robbie L's spread out over three seats he's sitting on 40 tickets there's 20 odd Dutchmen going can I who are involved in the squad can I get any from my family no you've all got just one each you want to speak to Robbie yeah Robbie will get you a plus one. What, he's done it for Dutch television? Nah. England are out. They went out two and a half weeks ago. Like the Spanish boys, same as you. The Spanish boys didn't qualify. Only if he was an actual Earl would this make sense.

33:29And even then it wouldn't be done. Is he the Earl of football? Is that what it was? Someone calculated how much 40 World Cup foil tickets were worth. 70 grand. Yeah, I was going to say. 70 grand worth of tickets. And they were nice tickets then, clearly. I'll have the money, please, Noel. Thank you for listening to the best of Ramble Uncut 2025. Good luck shaking that image of Carlos Quiros. Or don't, if you like that sort of thing. There's plenty more where that came from. And you can get access to it for just five bucks a month. We'll see you there.

34:10Acast Creator Network.