Best of the 2026 World Cup

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2:34That's why over 1 million small businesses trust Stamps.com. Go to Stamps.com and use code PODCAST to try Stamps.com risk-free for 60 days. Hello everyone, Pete here. Now what a World Cup we've just had. And to celebrate it, I've dived right into the archives and picked out all the tasty morsels of football rival content from the tournament. So sit back, relax and enjoy the very best bits of a World Cup which despite Gianni Infantino's best efforts was still blooming epic. We begin with a very optimistic prediction from one Marcus Feller.

3:19Pete Donaldson: So, and I've spoken to a few people actually, and the general consensus is that people, despite what the supercomputers are saying, the general vibe in what I've picked up from, as I say, talking to a handful of people. Who have you been speaking to? Well, Jim Campbell, for example, was one. I don't think anyone's speaking to him. And other friends of mine, that it's quite a hard one to call this. Yeah. Because Spain and France, they are the two best teams, I would say. And then obviously England and Argentina, the other two teams. I think that Argentina, surely they won't be as good as last time round.

3:55Pete Donaldson: For obvious reasons. Scaloni's record is unreal. No, it is. It is. And I think that they are a force to be reckoned with. But I just don't feel that. I think Portugal have got a really good squad. Have you gone Portugal? Hang on. I haven't said who I've gone before yet. So I think Portugal have got a really good squad. Don't do a Craig Brown listening to the team. I think he's filling for time. He's having a think. He's not decided yet. I think Luis Diaz of Colombia. He's lost it. He's lost it. His head's gone. I'll get it back in a second. What kind of team talk is this on the eve of the tournament?

4:25Have you gone Netherlands?

4:25Pete Donaldson: And I think there's something about Brazil. He's gone Netherlands. He's gone England. There's something about Brazil where much has been made about them not being back. There's a Carlo Ancelotti factor. And I was in an hour in this. Trump-esque weave we've got going on. He's drunk off predicting Arsenal when he's gone for England. And I thought to myself, I thought to myself, that in my head, my head is not coming up with anything. Oh, here we go. Right. Okay. Here we go. Come on. Come on. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. You've got Scotland. So I turned to my heart. Yeah. Oh, I'm swinging a leg.

5:06Yes. England. Did you go England? Come on. Good man.

5:11Pete Donaldson: Good man. Silly man And then I was reminded That the last time We beat a side That is ranked higher than us Was 2002 Argentina In the 21st century England have beaten Three sides That are ranked In the top ten In tournaments And I thought We are going to have To run a lot here Can I just check I just want to double check So you've gone for England Can I just check With everyone here Have you been on a fizzy hand Yeah Come on Have you kept pretty quiet Up till now I think so I think so Look Like I say As Jim says hot off tipping Arsenal for the league I willed that into existence can I do it again lovely stuff I willed that into existence yeah he's taking the credit for that but it's nothing nothing to do with the players performance or Miguel Arteta so that's what I've gone for is that what the bones of Joao Havelange told you I think so I think big Joao and his boner whatever you said he was 100 % when he died Joao Havelange have a bit of respect great innings great not didn't get a letter from the Queen no he didn't no not British not a subject so I know what I've done is ludicrous.

6:12Pete Donaldson: I love it. I'm happy for it. I love it. Now, gentlemen, we have spoken a lot about supercomputers over the last few weeks because they're important. And we thought that we didn't have any animals to turn to when wanting to know who will win football matches. We've got our first psychic animal that's been spotted. Psycho animal. Psycho. The Stuart Pierce of predicting. We've got our first psychic animal, I should say. Might be a psycho. Tell you what, if they get it wrong Don't look at them They'll blame the players, this animal Paco the Axolot Predicted Mexico would win the game It's a great little fish What the fuck is that?

6:54Pete Donaldson: A very friendly looking fish It's like a Pokemon, isn't it? It's more of a Pokemon That's Paco He doesn't have any obvious eternal gills He has a little face It's a species of salamander It reaches sexual maturity without undergoing metamorphosis. Like me. Completely smooth down there. Nothing going on. So it's got no pubes. Got no pubes. Oh, right, okay. It would probably get in the way of the water. It would get in the way of the predicting things, wouldn't it, I suppose, wouldn't it? And the water generally, I suppose. I don't, I like, oh. So Publis Paco, he said, I assume it's a he with Paco, predicted that Mexico would win the game.

7:35Pete Donaldson: And what happened, Peter? Yeah, well, they won the game. Mexico won the game. So all eyes on Paco. He's actually got a serious gambling problem. That's really sad. It's actually very sad. He does have to... We should stop him doing that, actually. I don't know. I don't know. If he gets one wrong, he's going to be salter than deep fried. So he's going to do a lovely little snack. And the thing is, apparently you're not allowed to touch him because your skin transfers dangerous skin oils onto their slime that they emit. Disgusting little freaks. He's not going to have a say when he's deep fried, is he?

8:04That's a good point, actually. Between a lovely couple of pieces of bread and some tartar sauce. Yes, indeed. Make a philly-o fish out of him You can keep one As a pet in the UK Why are we doing this For crying out loud Because people keep The amount of things We got an email from The wax museum What's it fucking called

8:21Pete Donaldson: Ruby wax Madame Two Swords Madame Two Swords They said Do you want the Harry Kane Madame Two Swords thing And I said Charlie get us the Madame Two Swords Harry Kane They're bringing a new Harry Kane You should say producer Charlie Because people might think You're talking to Harry Kane's brother Then you're definitely not getting him And like Where's the Harry Kane model I want the hurricane Waxy Boy I thought it was a real hurricane we were offered when you say we were sent an email I was sent an email alongside hundreds and hundreds of others by the way people don't trust me people don't trust me when I forward things on where's our Axelotable probably because on one of our live shows you did some what was it the Waxy Bastards Museum you did we did get a cease and desist from Madame Tussauds yeah we did yeah there you go good that's why that's not going to be the edit but crack on

9:06did want that wax model Sometimes in our live shows, the crowd would get turned off by you smearing Nutella in some white pants to make them look dirty. Oh, that just reminded me. What? I've left. I've left something on a train and it's the Richard Keys head. You left on a train? And a Kevin Keegan rug. No. You left him on the train? And a camera. Ah. Oh, no. Oh, no. The most confusing lost property ever. Yeah. They're gonna be so confused at Fenchurch Street. Oh no! Can you prove it's yours, sir? Look at me. The only video I've got is me dancing around in my pants with it on my head. You idiot!

9:47You idiot! Oh God! You're gonna have to call them now. Yeah, we'll have to go down to Fenchurch Street and see if I can have me big papi. Have you got a big papi amache head? What brand is it? We're gonna have to see what brand is it. No one's nicking it. No one's got any use for that. No, exactly. The camera's gone. The head and the rug are probably still there. The Keegan rug? The Keegan rug massively smells of fish as well.

10:14The annoying thing is I brought it in to work, because it's the only time I'm going to be coming in before that, and I'm just like, oh no, I'm going to have to take it back home again if I find it. Nightmare. Absolutely nightmarish. Anywhere. Are you pissed off about it? To measure your profession, you're able to continue to do the show. Yeah, you do genuinely need to call them, though, and I would not mind if we did that on air personally. We wouldn't be opposed Yeah, but I've got two calls to make. I've got the Doggetzaki Shibuya Tokyo Police who've got a camera of mine. And then I've got another camera at Fenchurch Street.

10:44It's not the fucking Zodiac killer, but the cameras. Camera nearest the boat, do Fenchurch Street first. Don't worry about Japan. I don't need storage. I just leave stuff around and hope that it's still there. I feel like it's always... Fenchurch Street Station lost property. training and monitoring purposes. Come on then. The C2C website is the quickest way to find information regarding train times. That's what I wanted to do. Did you assist a Richard Keyes off the train today?

11:13What? A little bit of pan pipes there. Do you remember pan pipe guys? To relax you. Do you remember the pan pipe guys? Yes. They used to be in town centres. Right, one hole. It'll notify me when they call it, when they pick up. lovely stuff. Yeah, my brother works for C2C. Oh, does he? I've messaged him as well. So we've got a couple of angles to work here. Get my bits and problems back. We're like true detective. We're working the case. We find the yellow king, but it's the Richard Keys head. All right, well... What are you doing about this? It's your fucking problem. I'm sitting here horsing a show for crying out loud, for the people.

11:51I'm keeping everyone's spirits up. So we've lost the Richard Keys head, the Kevin Keegan rug, and a camera. It's going to be used for the England watch along. Oh, good. Oh, good. All of the stuff. It's my property, most of it. The catalara, I'm convinced, is the foreign exchange student. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, hello. Lost property, Fenchurch Street. Hello. Oh, you're free to see Lost Property. How are you going to help? Hi there. I lost a bag on a shoeberry nest to Fenchurch Street's train this morning. I just wondered if you've received it at all. Yeah, we wouldn't know that, I'm afraid.

12:28What you would need to do is complete the C2C forum on their website. And if they've got it, they'll get back in touch. Okie dokie, we'll do that then. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Ta-ta. Bye-bye. What's the point of having a lost property department? Have they just taken a full of foreman? Full of foreman. Literally, there was an option on the phone. It's a lady who says, full of foreman. There's literally an option on the phone to say, if it's lost property, press this number. Yeah. I'm going to get down to Fenchow Street and fill their foreman with these fists if I don't get my Richard Key's massive ground up there.

12:58And they're not going to question it because you are going to look absolutely bent asking for that stuff back. You will look more mad if they have the stuff. Yeah, even if you go in swinging. They're going to throw it back at you. There's no chance anyone's going to nick that. Oh, absolutely tragic. See what's going to happen? There's every chance when you rock up to try and get your property back, there's going to be a load of people dusting them for free. That's what's gonna be happening. You haven't looked on the camera, have you? What crime could be committed? Please don't look on the SD card.

13:28What kind of pervert is travelling to work on a normal Tuesday with a giant papier-mâché Richard Keats head? A Kevin Keegan rug that smells of fish? Yeah, a fish sodden Kevin Keegan rug. Why does it smell of fish? I think back in the 70s they used fish bones, didn't they, for glue? Oi, 50 years, 50 years, still smells of it. Yeah, still smells of historic fish. Anyway, Robert O 'Nakaku. My brother's got back in touch. What train was he on? Where was he going? And I'll see if it's been handed in. Yes! I am going back to Fenchurch Street Station. Give me the details now. It was the 8.15... No. It was the 7.15 from Chalkwell.

14:05Which is a train I get quite a lot, so do not find me. Is it a good train? It's a solid train, very few seats, because it skips out all of the stops before Basildon. It's the fast train to where? It's the fast train to Fenchurch Street. and I got off Adventure Street lovely stuff let's see there we go and why would they fine you for leaving things on a train fine me you have to pay to get it back sometimes I left my laptop once I had to pay 20 quid to get it back why I don't know for general processing I'd left a court at Shoebriness if I was going to Shoebriness is that everyone getting a taste yeah I think so I think if I worked in the lost property office I would definitely do this if I judged a person if I didn't like them I'd say 20 quid And that's what someone's done to me, and it's fair enough.

14:49Since we've been recording, Vazenia's now hit six million followers. Come on, Vazenia. Come on. Can we have a little totalizer? Yeah, we should do. In the studio. Just for the group stage. I'm just filling the form. Okay, what are you putting in for that?

15:03Big, sizable, sizable papier-mâché head. That's not the location, though, is it? Good point. The property is always in the location it's in, but that's not helpful for the form. All right, location where property is lost. Weird little space behind chair that I sometimes... That is a schoolboy. ...sit in when drunk. You're giving them a proper little treasure hunt here, aren't you? Yeah, putting stuff behind the seat is just standard issues forgetful. Yeah, exactly. Sizable... So description of item lost. Sizable Papier Masher head with hairy cheeks. and bald patch. I don't want to cast aspersions on the quality of your work, but do you think people would be able to identify as Richard Keegan out of context?

15:54Kevin Keegan, best player in Europe. 1977? What was his kind of... Something like that, yeah. 1977. Rug, smelling of fish. Remarkable for a product, that is. Insta Gore 360 camera. Don't look on the SD card. Upload a picture of the item. We're just going to get a picture of Richard Keyes. I'm going to get that in there. Save. I'll use the picture of him getting his hair transplant. I mean, you do have a picture of you in the head, surely. No, I think I did some lovely work on that Papi Mashi thing. I'm going to definitely... You wouldn't have. They better treat it with care. Have you put fragile on it?

16:41Put fragile on a couple of letters. Any other relevant details? I am beside myself. I need to be reunited. Beside myself. Should I put something about like a dead dad or something? That's how you get on X Factor, isn't it? Yeah. Dad dead. This is a lot like that. His last bequest to me. Say the Pepe and Maché head is a model of your dead dad's head. My dad is Richard Keys and I miss him. He's been away for a while. Yeah, he works abroad. He works abroad. Make sure it is this Papier Maché head though, if you find any others. I don't want any other Papier Maché head. Oil rig? I'm not a robot. I've got to click on some fucking fire hydrants.

17:26See, because Pete is part internet, I think these capture things are particularly difficult for him. Would you agree with C2C's privacy policy? Oh, probably would. It's an Italian company. Is it an in-o-al company? Is that allowed? They're not in it. They can't use it. They can't use the info. Update from my brother. Nothing's been handed in yet, but I'll keep looking. Ah, what? How would he know at Fenchett Street, though, if he's working all the way down the other end of the line? I don't know what his process is for hunting it down, but as yet, it is at large. We do. Thank you, Jim's brother.

17:57And thank you, everybody.

17:58Pete Donaldson: Now, without further ado, an update on Pete's lost property. We have been flooded with message after Pete announced on yesterday's show that he had left a giant paper mache head of Richard Keys and a Kevin Keegan rug on a train. The Seven and Nines on Discord said, when do we march on Fenchurch Street Station, demanding answers? Well, Ewan on Instagram also said, he's still got to go to Fenchurch Street and get something. And I'll tell you, I honestly, I will love it when we get that rug back. Love it. Absolutely incredible. Brilliant from Ewan. Absolutely love that. Richard said, how could Pete forget he had that giant head with him on the train?

18:34Pete Donaldson: So careless. I mean, it really is a fair point. It was my first question about this. Doesn't seem an easy thing to mislay, does it? Well, I have this to play you all. Hiya, you alright? I just wondered if some lost property had been handed in from a train this morning. A big papier-mâché head. Yes! Yes, you've... Oh, wow! He got it back! He did! Somebody had handed in the key's head! Oh, it gives you faith in humanity, doesn't it? It does, yeah. What on earth did that person think? Who knows? Who knows? Is it a bomb? The camera was still there as well. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As far as I know.

19:07Pete Donaldson: But that was a genuine conversation that Pete recorded. Yes. And then he recorded a little video of himself dancing in the big dick head. The big dick in the station as well. Yeah. So Pete got the head back, everybody. The show can go on. The Kevin Keegan rug is also back. And also still smells of fish. Yeah. I mean, if he's been smelling of fish since the 70s, then it's unlikely that a day in Fenchurch Street, London Stadium, Stadium Station will have changed that. But there we are. let's douse it in links before tonight

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22:02Listener Alex has been in touch. Oh, has he? And he's been in Kansas City. Hello, gents. I'm currently in Kansas City after initially thinking I had massively overpaid for tickets to Argentina versus Algeria. It clearly became one of the best value tickets I've ever bought for obvious reasons. But the battle for the highlight of my time here now has a huge arrival. I went to the Kansas City FIFA Fan Fest, which is quite a mouthful, isn't it? The Kansas City FIFA Fan Fest, to watch the Scotland match. However, at the 5pm local kickoff time, the big screens did not show kickoff, but rather the emblem of Pitbull's Florida compatriots, a one, Mr.

22:34Flo Ryd. We quietly took ourselves over the smaller screens to watch the game while Mr. Ryd's lyrical genius blasted through the speakers. And at halftime, we caught the tail end of his performance in between renditions of apple bottom jeans and where the girl's at. Where the girl's at? Where the girl's at? 2026. Oh my God. In the apple bottom jeans. In the boots with the fur. You've answered your own question there, Flo. In Ted or not, he was doing what can only be described as FIFA propaganda. Initiating chants of when I say love, you say FIFA. No! And I love FIFA. No, he wasn't. I love FIFA.

23:08He can't be. It is unclear to me if he understands that FIFA is the Sith-like empire that we know it to be. Or if he's just a complete puppet for Infantino. Definitely. All in all, a very enjoyable few days in Kansas City. we were trying to

23:21Pete Donaldson: I thought I'd seen just about everything well we had a conversation yesterday before the Portugal match which sort of pop acts came on the scene unleashed like three or four absolutely banging singles but had no penetration in just the world you know the kind of collective consciousness of the world and I had Flo Rida down as one of those men has just been just making an impact doing big old songs big you know sort of jock anthems and then just disappearing and not really nobody really thinks about him but and Akon was the other one Akon was the quintessential man who a forgettable performer he was just always on every there was a point when he was on every feature yes you know like Sean Paul yes on every song that came out Derulo is it Derulo that kind of man is Derulo that kind of man I think Derulo's got more I think he's got more about it yeah he had a few hits like hits not just features DJ Khaled I think he's getting there isn't he probably like you know massive impact couple of big songs it's completely forgettable can we talk about Britpop no okay no I'm just a bit I'm a debtor for you sounds terrible when I say love you say Oasis yeah there you go when I say love the Gallaghers when I say love you say FIFA I mean how much has he been paid to get say that he's probably just one of those corporate guys who goes right who looks at the piece of paper who my performance for today but why love When I say football Insert oligarch's name here Fine Okay Where's Robbie Williams Where's Robbie Williams He's probably done a bit of that But when I say football You say FIFA That's utter shite But okay Love Yeah but he's a company man Didn't he perform at The Trump concert as well Yeah he's a big Trump guy I'm sure he performed at that as well But yeah The further question

25:11Is it Ease Ease Ease Ease Ease Ease Ease Ease Come on What an event What an epic occasion

25:26Pete Donaldson: Doing the whole show like that Look at me I'm a Lucha Libre We sunk the Azteca Yeah We brought it right back down to sea level Didn't we Come on Hello to everybody watching on YouTube on this fine day for England. What day is it? No one knows. I think it's Monday. I think it's England day. That's what it is and we're together. Oh, England win at the Azteca for the first time since 1986. Yeah, that's right. They won in the round before the whole Maradona business. Everyone forgets that. Not you. So what's the big deal? Business as usual. Exactly, yeah. And we scored three goals in that one as well against poor old Paraguay.

26:10Pete Donaldson: oh my giddy aunt she is giddy she is giddy why do we do this I'm a bit giddy I'm a bit giddy my voice is Darren Cairn Harry Kane today it was a very it was a very kind of Darren Cairn possessed Harry Kane is that why you came by a penalty yeah I'm part official now it's so bad it's so bad it speaks to the like the partisan nature of just getting behind in a game like that that when Darren Cairn came on to make a sensible point about why it was a penalty I was like Get this traitor in the tower now. Why does he hate this nation? In the tower. Get him in the tower. Lovely, lovely reference. Put him with the skeleton of the little kids who were already in there.

26:53There you go. Yeah. Disappointing. It's fine, they won. Yeah, it was an amazing occasion. I think that is probably partly maybe because England were on the right side of it. It's got to be the most epic occasion I've had watching England. Definitely. It's got to be because I was so, people who listen or watch regularly will know that I kind of earmarked this very early on as being the banana skin that I thought England would go out at. And so I'm very happy to be wrong on that occasion, of course. But I've had a lot of nervous, idiot. I've had a lot of nervous energy about this game ever since I knew it was possible.

27:29Pete Donaldson: We all knew England were going to be in this game, let's be honest. And when you get into those basketball games, those kind of slugfests in the deep water, it's normally England on the wrong end of them. Even though we've exorcised our penalty shootout demons and the rest of it. To me, coming off the back of that and on the right side of it, it's euphoric. It's absolutely euphoric. It had all the ingredients for exactly what you said. A game that England mess up in and do so quite dramatically. It had, as I said, all the ingredients right down to the shaky camera. And I was like, oh no. And that's because the atmosphere was so big.

28:04I think it was just relentless. And for the players to go in that Lions den and be able to deal with such adversity in terms of the atmosphere, the conditions, the delay of the kickoff, the altitude, going down to 10 men, and still come off the back of it winning in normal time. In normal time. Which was crucial for everybody. Did it feel like normal time? If 11 minutes could be added, it's not normal.

28:28Pete Donaldson: It was nearly 12 minutes. There were a couple of corners there at the end, and I was thinking, it's not a penalty. You can blow up now, big lad. We've got to go to work. Get on with it. A game that was scheduled to start at 1am Finish at 4.30am Yeah Yeah In real time Basic baseball game Yeah Extra innings for this Yeah It was in real time The best game I've ever hated Yeah Yeah That's a good way of putting it And it's only Portsmouth the FA Cup For 100 ,000 eggs up there But that's it Yeah the only thing The only thing I mean I'm going to go back to 1990 Cameroon maybe And it was that sort of epic kind of That's very similar Very similar The crucial thing was that England were never behind in this game.

29:09Pete Donaldson: And I think that... It felt like we were behind the whole time. Yeah, well. Oh, my goodness. I mean, if you haven't watched it, it ended 3-2 to England, by the way. Yeah. You may have realised. But yeah, to win there, and you talked about the Lions Den well. You put Lions in the Lions Den, they're going to feel at home. They are. And I'll tell you something, the composure and calmness that England had throughout that game, by and large, I understand there were ropey moments. And you said this, look, we're just going to have to get comfortable with the fact that some teams, in fact, a lot of the teams at this World Cup are good at football.

29:41Pete Donaldson: Yeah, the other teams want to win as well. Yeah, they're going to cause problems, and especially a Mexican side with that grit and determination. But my goodness, you know, England under the cosh, there were huge performances, you know, Pickford, Bellingham. Bellingham was unbelievable. Oh my goodness. That was one of the best individual performances I've seen from an England player. Everybody played their part, even, I mean, at one point. Don't say even. No, no, no. There's a rubbish player that's come up. No, no, no, not even. If I may. Yeah. At one point. Even Sean Gregan. Big Dan Byrne repelled an overhead kick at one point.

30:10Pete Donaldson: To the halfway line. To the halfway line. When that happened I thought it's our day. It's our day today. I know the ball travels further at altitude but that was ludicrous. But Big Dan Byrne plays at altitude of course. Yeah. So it was always an advantage he knows the club. He knows the atmosphere. At one point I think I read that he had no one had more clearances than him in the whole game and he played 15 minutes. No he played about 25 minutes. Oh because they had a time.

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32:05we've been asking for World Cup correspondence throughout the tournament guys Evan Armstrong emailed us I was walking out of the Paraguay vs France game yesterday when I was approached by several scantily clad ladies I was given this free admission pass for Sin City a strip club here in Philadelphia it boasts itself as the official strip club of the FIFA World Cup 2026 official oh they're getting away with that he attached the pass which has FIFA World Cup 2026 official strip club on it do we think that A this will fall foul of FIFA sponsorship rules yes a la Cosmic Charlie's or B will Gianni Trump and Cor need to have an official visit to Sin City for a big old buffet and an official inspection could be as Marcus would say answers on a postcard I mean putting aside just the general bafflement whenever you go to America how accepted strip clubs are in quite a religiously kind of repressive in the grand scheme of things kind of country where's the conference have they ever had a FIFA sponsored flesh spot before I just don't understand that beautifully put have we ever had anything so low well I don't want to say anything so low rent have we had anything so kind of poorly thought out I mean I wouldn't have said

33:18Pete Donaldson: it was a religiously oppressed country it's the land of the free so you can do what you want it's the land of the free yeah as long as you're a Christian if you want to get into politics you know it's quite impressive in that position it's not the case It's about getting, you know,$1 bills with In God We Trust on it and putting it in someone's underwear. Exactly. Oh, yeah, I mean, there is... That's what it's about. That does feel, as a Christian, that does feel like a contradiction to me. But the, I mean, definitely the official visit. Yeah, a state visit. Just like, you know, Gianni comes...

33:49We don't know at this point in time in the World Cup how he's getting to the different places. So maybe he does teleport. It just appears in the men's bathrooms.

33:58Pete Donaldson: Hello? Whatever you do, don't answer this, Peter. What does Gianni Infantino love the most? Let's say don't answer that because I think it is money. And so therefore, it will fall foul of FIFA sponsorship rules because they can just get a few quid out of that. Yeah, that's true. Good point. I mean, Seth Blatter this week has been criticising Gianni Infantino about the whole US Balogun situation. And when he's having a go at you, you're like, oh, better drown my sorrows in the strip club. As I said, it's that bad. bring Blatter, bring Blatter, bring back Blatter, is what I would say to that. Bring back Blatter!

34:40Someone referred to Blatter on Twitter, now known as X, as… Currently known. A quintessential brown envelopes man. They don't make them like that anymore. Brown envelopes man.

34:52Pete Donaldson: Yeah, and again, if we're talking about contradictions, there's an honesty to that kind of brown envelope. Exactly. It's, you know, it's like when... He never hurt his own, he loved his mum. Handing over a note, even if you're in a brown envelope. Yeah, exactly. It just brings people together. It's the old school nature of it. You can see it happening. Get off your phones and give me a bong. Yeah. Live in the moment, give me some money. It's not crypto. Put a briefcase down and let someone else pick it up, like in the old days. You can see the money, it's not this crypto-boller. Yes Right there we are It's like when people prefer books to a Kindle Yep They're all on board with that One England fan will be disappointed certainly that England didn't win the World Cup because this England fan got a tattoo on his leg before the game against Argentina the big World Cup trophy saying England World Cup winners 2026 This man should have some sort of scientific testing done on him Yeah I mean Because what on earth are you playing at?

35:52He's part of a kind of genre of man that does this. Though, isn't he? You get fans of clubs doing it in the Champions League and stuff. There's always someone who has an England tattoo like this. A certain genre of man. I read the interview with the guy. He actually seems quite happy-go-lucky. Even now, he doesn't seem that bothered about it.

36:10Pete Donaldson: He said he might have the tattoo underneath it, only joking. Yeah. Who are you? Oh, good. He's a gagman. So apparently his mates encouraged him to do it while they were on holiday in Tenerife. like not on the holiday but like yeah you should have this tattoo done it's like is that a stitch up so he had time to think about it he did I mean surely he could say England bronze winners he could have there to save the tattoo but he's got the trophy on his leg now imagine if he had bronze winners then we lose is that another word to cover up another joke Pete how would you cover this up you're a tattoo man I would just kind of like put it's on his leg I'll put 20 cross that and then put 20-30 yes exactly and then you know give someone and he could tour around and people could touch it for good luck yeah yeah yeah yeah I think that is that what your tattoos are for you can touch me for good luck if you want you can touch me for good luck children yeah there it is again the I was thinking about this tattoo this tattoo is particularly lucky in my mind I was thinking about the cat in the hat and that is obviously a child's book so that's why and that's on your leg isn't it and that's on my leg yeah and it goes up no no

37:20it's Friday there Are there any footballing tattoos that you would get, Marcus? No. Because you're a man completely... Because you're a hairy man, you could hide a few, I think.

37:31Pete Donaldson: I am of the old school. Tattoos are for sailors and drug dealers. Oh, wow. Outranger. Okay, right. Outranger. I'm actually quoting someone else of this parish, and I won't say who. Okay. They're not in the room, but that's... They can't defend themselves. I am not one for tattoos. You won't be surprised. Could you not just get a little something-something? under a as an older man you could have one under a boob yeah you're really selling it do not resuscitate do not ah shit you forgot to lift up his titties ah he's a Mormon shit why don't you ask Jim about this what Jim I don't trust what would you hide under a boob Premier League Premier League winner 2027 you had it I don't trust myself to like something for my entire life.

38:24You don't have to like it. Just have yourself the same. I'd prefer to like it, though. Does that go for Pete and me? Yeah, sure. I don't like any of my tattoos. They're just memories of me being silly. Yeah, fair enough.

38:36Pete Donaldson: Why don't you do that, Jim? Yeah. We can have some memories of you being silly. You're right. Have that tattoo of you fallen off that canal boat? You could have that. It's quite a complicated scene, that, though, isn't it? It's quite painful. You'd be amazed what they can do. I think about the hiragana fall, wo in Japanese. I always think about you falling off a canal boat. Sorry, what? Because it looks like, because the hiragana is like a, you know, the Japanese writing system for the wrong words. Well, it looks like a man halfway between a jetty, basically, and a canal boat. And I think about you every time I think the wo.

39:11I was on the boat when I fell off. So that's the other way around. Don't ruin this for me. I'm not ruining it. Don't set me back on my Japanese. A lot of listeners might have started listening since I fell in a canal, not be aware of the story. It was during the lockdown. You were pushed in by a block from Egghead. I wasn't pushed in by any... Who are you running from? I'm actually a ghost now.

39:31Pete Donaldson: Running from a sailor and a drug dealer. He was trying to make a plasma screen from a boat. It's a London riot. I had to get out of there quickly. He wanted to do some sea piracy. Yeah, I mean, the quite boring alternative truth to that was that I just fell between the boat and the side. Got stuck. A friend of mine had to pull me out, and I think that bruised my ribs quite badly. Bruised ribs are no fun at all. Pete, I was going to say, if you could choose a tattoo for me, what am I having? Tom, producer, why have you just put a Frank Clark question mark in there? Who's going to do a Frank Clark?

40:08Oh, yeah, because he emerged from a canal. He emerged from the River Trent. I thought you'd do it I'd have a dripping wet A dripping wet Frank Clark Outside the Hooters Sorry I love that Frank Clark was not in the Regent's Canal That's quite that But I didn't have a good look You don't know You didn't go deep Imagine if you were Snorkelling It's very dark in there That's why they bring Undersea police divers I can promise you Alright Clarky What's going on here You come out with a mouser Took it into your back pocket

40:37Pete Donaldson: Pete if you were to get Another tattoo Hang on I want to know What Pete's going to tattoo On my body first Oh okay I don't know I think we should all get football ramble tattoos to be quite frank. I think we should all get British Bulldogs. Fucking part-timers. British Bulldogs, yeah. British Bulldogs. John Bull. Yeah. Nice. John Park. The meme. The internet meme. All of that. Yeah. Okay. Well, one footballer may get a tattoo. Apparently, Marco Correa has promised to get a tattoo of Spain manager Luis de la Fuente's face if Spain win the World Cup. Some people think he was joking when he said it.

41:06Pete Donaldson: Other people are saying it's Marco Correa. He probably will get this done. Well, he's a man whose life is just dedicated to him making himself look and feel as repulsive as possible to the rest of humanity. That's a bit harsh, isn't it? I don't know. I just think the way that he carries on. I mean, he's a very effective footballer. He's a very effective footballer, but he's more and more unpalatable as the O's get on, really. Yeah. I mean, I enjoy the sort of pantomime villain. He's like a poodle cross with a wolverine. From Fraggle Rock. I don't find him as repulsive as you do, actually. I think he's a very...

41:39Pete Donaldson: I know Jimmy... He's more the sort of clownish quality to him. Yeah, I think there's a slapstick element to him, isn't he? Because even though he is a brilliant player... I know, he's so effective. You can see him wedge between a houseboat and a canal top half. For sure, definitely. But people just can't help but push him over. They get near to him and they just have to do it. They're just compelled to. Also, he falls over a lot for such an elite player. And he really is. He's a brilliant one-on-one defender. He's got so much to his game. He stacks it all the time. And I'm fascinated by that. It is quite strange.

42:09Pete Donaldson: But by the weekend, out he could be European and world champion yeah very rare thing obviously we saw France do it at the turn of the century incredible incredible get that tattoo on your where would it be not on his face that would be quite odd it'd be taking the Kundi the Kundi-ism to its natural conclusion I suppose I would say that the problem with like Luis de la Fuente he looks he looks like a very generic he looks like Simon Evans the stand-up he looks like Simon Evans the stand-up he looks like a hard old man I think he is wearing a slightly tighter suit in each round yeah it's only slight so it's not very obvious but he is ready to just burst out of that I mean they were in an air conditioned stadium in the semi-final it's not going to be like that in New Jersey true true yes where quite predictably I really hope they win I don't know man the Messi story I'm with you on this Pete I'm torn I like the Messi story bored of it you've got to remember like the fucking like the Messi Robert De Niro sort of thing was pure cinema.

43:13It's his last World Cup. No one's ever done this before. Fucking bring it on. Fuck, like, we only have ourselves to blame to varying extents there. Fucking enjoy it. We knew exactly what they were going to be like. They were exactly like that. You know, we've got to slap in on that little boy, didn't we? We're exactly, yeah. So that's some legacy there. Yeah. Marcus, can you, as a football man, I know, you know, you're still hurting. A good football man, please. We're here for stories. a proper good football man. Yeah, I know you're still hurting from England's exit. When somebody's called that,

43:45Pete Donaldson: it feels like this scandal, just something bad is about to happen. Fair enough. But you can surely get behind the idea of the Messi legend and the Messi myth being sort of burnished even further by this. Surely that's, you know, outdoing Maradona with a second World Cup and obviously pushing ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo in that endless debate that people are always having by winning the World Cup, not just once, but twice. Do you see the You know It's like tofu Versus a big steak Isn't it Argentina are the big steak And Spain are just A blob of football Do you not think I'm really not convinced No I don't think I'm not sure I associate Blobs of tofu with Spain Yeah No I A big blob of football Yeah I just I just think If this Argentina Were the World Cup It's just like What How have they The messy romance That's what I'm asking you about I'm not really asking you about men I want the mark Bad guys sometimes win.

44:38There's boo for the more. It'll just fucking be up next time. Often the legends go out with the loss, don't they? So maybe that would be the more appropriate thing for Messi. Messi's got to leave his boots in the center circle.

44:47Pete Donaldson: I want the Mark Cucurea romance story. What's wrong with that? Because he's a tit. I'm going to round out the show with some exclusive news. Oh, okay. Yeah, I heard this. So there's something in the running order saying that Pete's rumour. Pete's rumour. I'm saying it's a rumour. It's not a rumour. It's happening. we don't do a lot of exclusive news on the show because you've got no contacts the only contacts we've got are the ones with your eyes half a side exactly I heard this on the Great Vine I'm really sorry to start our new kind of Wicked Whispers kind of rumour mill section in this manner but Amazon are soon sooner than you need it to be I think are going to be doing a docuseries about Michael Owen and his family

45:41Oh, oh, oh.

45:58This follows experiences at Manor House Stables on life after football.

46:06It's called the Owens.

46:26In the show. Yeah. Come on, England. We're still not over that. Still not over that. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble throughout the World Cup. We've loved having you along for the ride to experience that rollercoaster of chaos together. If you've enjoyed the show, which I very much hope you have, then please do leave us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes a massive difference and helps us find new listeners. Friends of the Ramble, do not go anywhere. Keep listening for Ramble Uncut. And if you're not a friend of the Ramble, head on over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now.

46:59We'll be back tomorrow with a very special guest. but in the meantime, I'm off for a lie down. Ta-da!

47:31Agents handle the daily grind now. They live inside Monday.com, so they see the full picture. My work, my team, the whole company. And I don't have to worry about the data. It's safe, which means I'm free to focus on the big stuff, knowing everything runs smoothly in the background. It's completely shifted the way we work. Create your own AI agent in minutes on Monday.com. This episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties. We just had Lucky's first birthday, and it was so great to be able to go into Michael's and get everything. Of course, I knew they had craft supplies there, but I didn't realize how expansive their party supplies were.

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