Bring me the jam

0:00It's high time for hypersonic missiles everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Controversy at Villa Park and Mansfield. March on. It's Monday's 16th affair by Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. London Dishanah Hunter-Raja.

0:24Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble, this marvellous Monday. Ah, the FA Cup. You've got to love it. You've got to love a Monday in the kingdom anyway. Well, hey. Hey. It was noticeably lighter this morning when I left the house, which is also something to be pleased about. Indeed. And something that would make me feel slightly better because the last time you two were in a studio, this studio together, Marcus, you let yourself down. Yeah. Big time. Yeah. And people are asking me to come back on a Friday and avenge that. Is that right? Yeah. But you won't do it. You're always on holiday.

0:57I can't be seen in the same room as that kind of crime. And I know people wanted to get you back on, so I thought I'll play my part in tempting him back. Yeah. What I do for this job. You've had the weekend to get over it, though. Yeah, I have. Are you past it now? Very much so. The FA Cup's a perfect antidote. Well, it is, yeah. Give you some joy. An awful lot of joy. An awful lot of joy. And an awful lot of controversy at Aston Villa. Thank goodness Newcastle United won the game. Otherwise, I think Edmund Howell and his assistant would have been rather angry. Of course, Newcastle United won 3-1 at Villa Park.

1:29Tammy Abraham scored his first goal since the Aston Villa return. Not the story of the game, though. And it quite simply shouldn't have counted. The takeaway from that would be it's nice for Tammy Abraham. You like Varnell. Well, we can come on to that. In a World Cup year, it's nice for Tammy Abraham to score. Keeps Marcus warm at night. Very, very good stuff. But it simply shouldn't have stood. When you have a weekend where the takeaway for most people seems to be, well, Var had a good weekend. Yeah. Which is the equivalent to my mind of saying, it's actually Frankenstein's monster. Yeah, it is.

2:02It's like, yeah, sure. Jim and Luke are fans of that though. Public address system, not Tannoy. I think we do everything we can to avoid talking about refereeing decisions on the show too regularly because it can be boring for us and for our listeners, most importantly. But there's certain things you can't ignore. There's certain elephants in rooms that can't be ignored. And this was one of those games, wasn't it? It really was. and I think you know that Abraham goal which was quite obviously offside is the tip of the iceberg we should say it ended an enormous goal drought from Tommy Abraham because he last scored for them in 2019 I know he's been I mean what's he been doing it's amazing they persisted with him it feels like he's hardly ever really been at the training ground trust the process he's been on strike for seven years in Italy and Turkey he's taken his protest to Italy and Turkey hosts of the Euros in 2032, I believe.

2:56Are they? Good to get a reminder of that, Vish. Yes, indeed. Thank God you mentioned that. I was racking my brains. That would have been an edit point at the end of the show. That would have been embarrassing. Just for all those small picture people out there, don't worry. I have got my eye on the big one. And what Alan Shearer said on Saturday night, I didn't see it, but I saw it shared on social media later, that the referees find it, are now finding it difficult because they don't have this comfort blanket of VAR. It's the same thing I WhatsApp to you guys during the day on Saturday. saying that that's what it feels like to me.

3:26So it's great to be metaphorically in bed with Alan Shearer, but more importantly, it's basically not their fault necessarily. It's conditioning, isn't it? Because they're being asked to referee what almost feels like a completely different set of rules from one week to the next. I know the FA Cup's going to have VAR now from the next round, but it does seem like a ridiculous set of circumstances. I don't know if you want to go into the different moments that happened where Mr. Chris Kavanagh was caught short. But they were multifarious and each as embarrassing as the next. You were very generous when you said it's not necessarily their fault.

4:07I mean, he should see that Luka Dean is in the box. Even when he lands from the incident, he's still in the box. That's one of the worst refereeing decisions you will ever see. Wayne Rooney said it is the worst. So again, in bed with pundits, Luke Moore. Well, he was on the pitch when Frank Lampard's goal was disallowed against Germany. so he should be careful about that. He should be very careful. That was worse. Yeah, that was much worse. Where Chris Kavanagh drew the spray was where Trippier hit the cross. Yeah. Yeah. And also, but like, you know, the assistant referee as well, he had the line of the penalty box, which is where Newcastle lined up for the free kick where Tony Abraham scored and also had the line for the penalty, like square on.

4:48He was on that side. I don't really understand. And I feel a bit for Kavanagh, actually, because he's obviously the one who's getting a lot of the pelters. It's an extraordinary, isn't it? Because, again, surely you can see that. Every person in the stadium saw that. It wasn't one where, you know, there's a leg in front or this, that, and the other. You've seen the handball, and you can see he's in the box. A trained referee at the highest level will see that. Now, I understand... Even though he lands, he tries to land outside the box, and he's still in the side of the box. No, no, he's still in there.

5:14So I understand the point about, oh, it's the comfort blanket, you know, give that decision, so it can always be overturned. But that's surely not how you're trained to referee. Waits, don't give the decision now, isn't it? Well, so there are some things. So if I may just very, very briefly, I still think that the goal that pissed everybody off, or most of us off at Anfield, with the Cherokee goal and Harland and Sabozla pulling each other back the other week in the Premier League, I still think the referee, I suppose he didn't know which one, but should have blown when the ball goes in the back of the net and then should dish the card out.

5:45Because if the referee understands what's going on, he just needs to make sure. If that goes on, I don't think that incident's blown up because you don't get the whole... I think it's the whole celebration and the whole raw emotion, people. Fine, so you want to see the referee take initiative and be in charge of it. Yeah, so the comfort... Because the advantage goes as soon as Haaland pulls Soberslay. Yeah, so you know there's an infringement. If the referee's going, I don't really know what to do here, that's not what is going on in the referee's mind. I think the referee can see what's happened and knows how to apply the rule.

6:17Hence, he's a referee at the top level. And with this, you can see it's about give the penalty. Because if it's outside the box, and you think, bloody hell, have I missed that? That's when VAR can go, actually, no, no, no, and whisper in the ear. So there is no justification. But that's not the point here. The point here is it's an FA Cup tie with no VAR. So he's perhaps even subconsciously in a position where he's thinking, I don't want to give a penalty here in case it's wrong. and I haven't got VAR to clear up my mess. And the referee is only human, so I understand why they might have that impulse.

6:54But that impulse is an incorrect one, even when you're operating with VAR. It should be, that's what I think it is, that's the decision. And if VAR suddenly pops in their ear, they go, oh, hang on a minute, lads. Right, I've just got to wait for this. That's how it should be. But I get he's a human being, but it's such a piss-poor decision. It's really poor, and maybe we're reading too much into it. Maybe it's just that he woke up that morning, had a terrible day in the office and that's the end of it. And that could be the explanation. I mean, you know, Occam's razor would suggest that is what happened.

7:24But I do think that when I say at the top of this, I feel a bit sorry for them because they're being asked to referee completely differently. Yeah, I do agree with that. VAR has changed the game in terms of how it's officiate in such a profound way. And it's not just that they now have VAR where they didn't before. There's so many different iterations of VAR, so many changes from season to season. it could be probably just discombobulating that he's almost in that mindset because he would have refereed a Premier League game the week before and he'll probably refer, I mean, he might not because he might get demoted, but he'll referee a Premier League game again and he might just be in the mindset, this is how I referee now.

8:01So if I don't give that or I don't, I'm not sure about that, I'm just going to keep my powder dry and let VAR clear up my mess and it might be he's just completely forgotten or lost his confidence in how to make these firm decisions you're talking about because there was the Luca Dean one, which was a red card. Yeah. Should have given that. There was the... I mean, the offside, you can forgive, I think. The penalty... Oh, the Lewis Hall one. The penalty Lewis Hall, which was, again, a shocker. The offside one, fine, but it's quite clearly offside. I mean, there's an assistant referee for that.

8:32And there's Vicious. There's an assistant referee right there for the penalty on Luca Dean's handball as well. Yeah, which is surprising. It's really difficult to... We're trying to be as fair as we can, but it's very difficult to make excuses when all these things happen. It's not just one decision. Yeah, I think that's it. I think if it's one decision, people often say, well, a top quality striker could miss an open goal. Fine. But three or four open goals in a game? Yes, it's within the... I said top quality. No, I said within the realms of possibility. Look, as you say, I think to hone in on the referee, I think you don't want to suddenly really go after an individual here just for the sake of your fellow human.

9:09Do you know what I mean? Without sounding like a knobhead. but I think you're right Luke to highlight that this is the VAR world that we live in and I think it's symptomatic of that I also think your point about a striker missing four clear chances I think fundamentally when that happens they only get shit from genuine shit from maybe their own fans everyone else just ridicules them the referees don't really get the ridicule bit, they get the you're fucking shit and I think that's obviously why that were trying to be careful around this table. But it was truly a shocker. I think it was only Marco Bizzoli who might have had a worse game.

9:50Like I said, I think... He probably did him a favour. Thank God. What a clear decision. Don't leave half of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was funny about that one, it reminded me of the Wayne Rooney one at Old Trafford when the tactical foul was kind of... He tries to get a yellow, but he goes way over the top. You know in English trouble, sometimes with things, we're like 10, 15 years behind what's going on on the continent, whether that's for great sort of technical play or even some forms of shitheads, you know, whatever. And that was like, oh, you know, on the content they pull people back and they'll just take a yellow for the team.

10:19Rooney's obviously seen that and he's gone, right, I'll have a bit of this. Don't boot him thigh high off the ball. That's not what we're saying. And Bizarro was in that bracket. I think it probably would have been a red anyway had he have just done a sort of a more routine foul where he looked at least he was trying to get the ball. but when it's that high and it's that far I mean basically it's assault it's common if you just sat someone in the street you'd be like no you can't do that did they not give it for Dogso though they did it confirmed they couldn't give it for either he's given the I think even then they've made a role for their back the officials because I think there's an argument to say it wasn't necessarily Dogso because there's two defenders yeah but the goalkeeper is such a huge part of the he shouldn't have been there let me make it absolutely clear it's territory he should not have been what's a polar bear doing in Arkansas exactly yeah I think he could have get sent off for serious foul play or dog zone or even simply what are you doing here yeah stop it you don't belong here enough yeah get out of the bed you're a dog I mean that's what Emi Martinez presumably said to him as he went on I suppose to have a week off Martinez I wondered what that was you know sometimes like it's meant to be by a day off pilots or like doctors you've got a day off it's not really a day off though because if shit really hits a fan, you're coming in and getting to work straight away.

11:39Don't relax too much. Don't go that far. Yeah, do not drink. Yeah. There's a couple of goals in the game as well. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm just saying. Kill joy. Yeah, I'm just saying. There's a couple of goals. No one comes here for the goals. Like I said, it was just as well Tonali scored straight after that free kick. Oh, yeah. I wonder if Kevin had thought, thank God that people would forget that. Yeah. It was justice, but we ain't forgetting it. No, no. Although at the same time, you'd rather, But I mean, like, is Partido's in goal for a penalty? That's a better way to score, isn't it? Yeah, that's true.

12:09Certainly a more guaranteed goal, perhaps. Yes, indeed. Tonali's second, though, was a bullet. Yeah, lovely strike. Right in the corner. It was. Get on that. And then Villa obviously charitably gave up the third goal, didn't they, as well? Very charitably, yes. It wasn't the great that the offers for them overall, really. Very disappointing for Villa because going into this game, obviously, I know they go a goal up and whatnot, but Newcastle not on a great run of form. when you saw the videos that some clubs, Newcastle's been one of them, when the players are coming off the pitch into the change room.

12:39So they were all buzzing. Absolutely buzzing. This was a big victory. Very tough place to go, as we know. Okay, aided with the sending off. But I don't think actually you need to say that because they were harshly done by refereeing decisions. It shows you how bad the refereeing was given Eddie Howe's first question in the post-match, having won an FA Cup game away. Yeah, a very good win, yeah. He was talking about how the decisions didn't go their way at all, which is normally the bastion of the losing manager. It's very surprising to hear that. The way he talks about it as well, it's like he prepared at some point during the game, he prepared his disappointed speech.

13:14Well, everything went against Starrson. And also, he's so reasonably, Howe, that he'd have to choose his words pretty carefully because he never gets properly pissed off, does he? Yeah. Very mild-mannered. I did find it interesting that Kieran Trippier, at the end of the game, came out and defended Howe and then spoke quite honestly about the social media heat against Eddie Howe. Yeah, I found that interesting. Just because I wondered if, I suppose because he was so specific and naturally a lot of football discourse, or the majority, if not all football discourse seems to happen online, that he was so aware of it and he dedicated the win to Eddie Howe.

13:47That was nice. Yeah. But I must be interested. Please keep picking me. Yeah, there's a bit of that. I've been a bit up and down. I have been good to you, haven't I? I mean, Trippier nearly left, what, was it two years ago? something like that and he's still there and he's still playing but I think with kind of part of the problem isn't it do you think yeah I don't think he's been brilliant no I don't think he's been brilliant Levermento's injury has been quite of course yeah quite a big one for that but I mean he's a very experienced player clearly very much in the twilight in that in that particular example of him giving that post-match press conference it was the ideal character to come from someone who's a leader in the dressing room and has got good standing yeah and been a big part of why they've been so good recently but I can imagine though from you know having chat to one or two footballers and ex-footballers when you talk about the managers and what as an ex-footballer yourself exactly I'd like to think a current one but I think that even that's gone yeah I think when footballers talk about this that they do see they can see it differently to the fans sometimes the fans and the players are very much on the same page as we've seen recently but if you have a manager there who the players like and I don't know if there's any chat about dressing room upset or that kind of thing and you have a manager where it's not quite clicking this season, particularly in the Premier League for Newcastle United.

15:02We've talked about that a lot. But if there's a collective will of, come on, let's try and turn this around. It's not quite happening, but we like the manager. We believe in him. Look what he did last season, et cetera, et cetera. Some people, it might not even be that many Newcastle United fans, maybe fans outside the club completely, are saying, oh, but it's changing. And we're very quick to start saying, right, next one, next one. Who can get a better tune? And oh, it's turning sour because the idea of turning it around is, I think for a lot of it, a bit passe, ridiculously. When it kind of slides one way, it seems to be, right, that's going, see you later.

15:34Ultimately, though... But from a player's point of view, they might be going, well, hang on a minute, lads. We like this guy. We feel that he's still... And Trippi's totally entitled to that opinion. He works with him every day and he's absolutely able, entitled to use that platform in a post-match to say that stuff. I'm a little bit cynical about it sometimes because I think players have their own agenda. I'm not saying Trippier does. He's quite long in the tooth. He's played on the Howe for a while. He's achieved quite a lot in the game already. I'm sure he's been authentic on that occasion.

16:01But ultimately, that chat, when it comes to Howe specifically, what he's saying and what you guys are saying, is ultimately irrelevant because the only thing that's going to necessarily matter is whether the ownership decide that they are happy to do a season without Champions League football next season based on what we know about their project because they're not going to be in the Champions League next year. They're not going to win it and they're not going to finish in the top. five places based on what we've seen and based on how we've seen teams that are above them improving, I would say that.

16:30They might not get any European footballers. That's my prediction. And whether they're happy to tolerate that, whether they go, you know, actually, no, we still think he's the man. The problem with Eddie Howe is that he looks from the outside into me as someone who appears to be not a stepping stone manager sounds disrespectful to him because I think he's a good manager. I think he's had a good career and he's had a good job overall there. But it's kind of like that. it's kind of like if you are a massively wealthy conglomerate who's taken over a Premier League club you ain't doing that to finish 8th in the Premier League with Eddie Howe and I know that sounds disrespectful but that's probably what they'll be thinking so whether they give them another year or not out of Europe because you might be able to say to them if they're not in Europe at all you might be able to say to them you know we can have a really good run at it because if you give me this and this and we've not got Europe as a distraction we can really do something they might buy that they might not I suspect they probably won't.

17:22You might be overestimating their actual interest in football though. That's a fair point. But you know I take what you're saying an FA Cup win would sweeten the whole situation. There you go. Exactly. So there you go. I mean that might well be that might well be the only game left in town for them. In which case it's a great result for them yesterday. Yeah. Or Saturday sorry. Well yes absolutely. In the other all Premier League clash that happened on the weekend. Liverpool beat Brighton 3-0. Oh, Dominic Saboslai scored a very satisfying one, didn't he? Lovely, lovely one. It's like the... The assist from Salah was gorgeous.

18:00He was. On his right foot as well. Oh, lovely. It was very... You're left footer, but you can cushion the ball like that with your right. It's not fair, is it? Absolutely delicious. Why have you been toe-punting the ball with your left foot when you could have hit it with your right? It was delicious junior. It was. It was. Is Saboslai in that space at the moment where he's so informed that his technique is just immaculate. So good. Because the stride into the ball was stunning. That's what makes the assist so good as well, by the way. He's so perfectly weighted. He ain't got to break his stride.

18:29So Bozzolaj has got some of the most enjoyable legs in football as well. He does. He's got a good... Gazelle-like, I'd say. Yeah, good torso-to-leg ratio, I think. Also, he rolls his socks down, which makes it better. He's been the best player for Liverpool this season by miles. He's been one of the best players in the Premier League this season. I know that wasn't a Premier League game at the weekend, but nevertheless, the fact remains I think that we're seeing with Liverpool now if you take into account that the Man City defeat was life and death really it was close they lost it in the 92nd minute it was a close fought game there's a decent amount of evidence now saying that Liverpool actually started to click they took the game away from Brighton pretty easily at the weekend they had a really good result at Sunderland when no one else has won this season I think it might well be that they have a say in what goals are I just think they might have a say in what goes on in those, not just the top four places, but maybe the top three places.

19:24The teams around them, I mean, I know we're talking about the FA Cup, but you've understandably mentioned the league there. Below them, Brentford and Everton, Bournemouth, and then you're all the way down to Newcastle. I'd be surprised if one of them would finish above Liverpool, if I'm honest. That's a controversial take. And above them, Chelsea and Manchester United, only three points off four. So, yeah, very much in it. I see what you're saying, though. I just don't think Brighton were terrible or anything. They had a good amount of the ball and they had a good amount of shots. They had their chances.

19:51But Liverpool were just ruthless. And I think the feeling around Liverpool, the criticism around Liverpool this season has been they can be got at, they lose control of games. Everyone can be got at. They make mistakes, right? But they were so ruthless. And I think actually, if you kind of zoom out a bit and take it in the round, what I was saying a few months ago was if Liverpool finish in the top four, it's not as bad a title defence as you think. No. Slott will still be in the job. It's okay because Klopp used to have season. Well, I was going to say, it's Jürgen Klopp-esque. And it doesn't, but what I'm saying is now it doesn't seem like anywhere near as big an if as it did maybe four or five weeks ago.

20:30Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I think that's fair. They go into May having to play Manchester United, Chelsea, Aston Villa and Brentford. That's all in the month of May. But leading up to that, or rather even just in their next four games, they're basically picking off teams around the bottom. So they've got Forest, West Ham, Wolves and then Spurs. Before playing Brighton again. Yeah. There you go. Could go on a Michael Carrick-esque run. Fingers crossed they'll be hoping it. They're probably looking at what's happening at Old Traff and being like, look, let's emulate what they're doing. Yeah, exactly.

20:59As they did for so many years. He said that. He laughed and agreed with it. Chris Kavanagh hosted today. Did you see that there was a Brighton fan with a seagull mask spotted in the away end? But what a mask it was. Someone's dad. It looked chilling. it looked chilling to me yeah I know what you mean someone suggested it's brilliant it's so good the suggestion was from one of the broadcasters was that they must have told their wife they weren't going to be there because it's Valentine's Day so they're in disguise the whole game the son next to him looked really depressed as well I like it it's more of a seagull helmet to the mask I would say yeah I like the fact that obviously the expression on the seagull doesn't change because it's a mask and I was like oh it looked quite sad there and then I saw a photo of it looking quite happy with the same expression sat behind Eric Ten Hag.

21:53What does that say to you though if you can see sadness and happiness in the same mask? I think a lot of as with a lot of artists beholden subjects in art beholden to the things around them. Yeah they are. It's contextual. It's contextual. It's about the relationship between the art and the viewer the consumer. And how much alcohol had been taken on between both emotions being spotted. It's saying that you're always pissed which to be fair is true. Well I mean You're in the 10 hard gear, right? You only don't get a reputation as a pisser because you've got to say you're on the same show as Pete.

22:21That's the only reason. Yeah, that's true, actually. Where is he? You're a classier. Don't ask. It's Monday morning. Don't ask those questions. You're a classier boozer than Pete. That's his background, isn't it? Just a classic example. Sorry, I just need to mentally work out the reason why I'm taking this as a compliment. Let me help you. Because you're a legend, mate. This is genuinely true. You will post Instagram stories of your... One for YouTube there. Of a nice bottle of wine that you're sharing with your wife of an evening. Sharing. This morning...

22:58Yeah. Sometimes sharing, sometimes not. She's got her own one. Have you ever straw-ped-o'd a bottle of wine? Yeah. Whereas this morning, Pete genuinely put a photo... Hold on, baguette. Genuinely put a photo in the Ramble WhatsApp group of a extra-large buzz ball. half drunk on a bin in the street outside his house with the rock and roll life isn't for everyone that's the difference between you two you're both pissed you're just doing it in different ways very different ways I would look I know this is can I break character and blow my own trumpet for a moment yeah why not it's been 10 minutes as long as 10 oh bloody I've let the side down I do love Vish's Instagram with all the food and everything and he had a but he never replies to anything I said and I he's very aloof generally yeah I suppose so what is going on you had a lovely photo of a marvellous selection of I assume posh jams oh yeah I saw that did you get my reply to that do you want to read out to everyone do you want to jam that up your ass did you want to come like that that's nice but you didn't reply to that no what am I going to say to that we don't know how good we got it do we That's the kind of stuff you're getting and you're not replying to it.

24:17Thank you, Luke. How funny are your other friends? I bet half of them, not that funny. I'll tell you. Half of them are boring broadsheet journalists like you. Carry on, Marcus. Coming up after this, an upset at Turf War.

24:40My question, I suppose, is In that column, you spoke about how when the Spanish players drop deep from the first line, if they do it too quickly, the midfield gets very congested. How do you find that balance and how do you coach players like Semenyo, Cherky, Doku and Foden in close spaces with fluidity between them to help you create chances rather than making the pitch very congested? Do you want to be my assistant coach? Bring me in, Pep. you are my biggest inspiration to get into football I would say well back to the football everyone everybody what do we think about that well I think that that was a very long winded way of asking that question but you know he got there in the end I kind of liked it in one way because it was a genuinely thoughtful question about football which I think you don't get enough of because when you got the Gary Cotterells knocking about but at the same time I also found it super cringe I did like Pep's fuck you know yeah I enjoyed that but when he follows it up by saying yeah bring me in Pep bring me in it's like come on mate well yeah but under that I've never asked a question in a press conference nearly gatecrashed one at Arsenal once I've accidentally you could have done that you should have gone into that Bancity one and gone up to Pep put your hand up and gone Pep Guardiola jam and see what he said he would have gone fuck you now innit and then you'd have got a better response than you got from Vish I'd say so yeah I don't know who wants to ask me a question it would have been my first question.

26:10Thanks to Friend of the Ramble, Andrew. Oh, Pep, make move. Yeah. Thanks to Friend of the Ramble, Andrew, for sending us that clip. You can become a friend of the Ramble, too. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Pep Guardiola's press conference. It's Monday the 6th of February. I'm Marcus Speller. And who are you? Say your name. Say your name. We've got to do it all over again. We've got Friday feeling, everyone. Glorious Monday in the kingdom. and we will take no questions about the charges we've been to that boy he's not in the running order Pep is sitting there doing that little spitting thing he does oh dear yeah Pep if you want to become a friend of the Ramble too search patreon.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button on YouTube to get involved bring me in Pep bring me in Pep that ruined it is all I'm saying oh I don't know I thought there was an element of boyish charm to it I don't know him He's working for the BBC.

27:05But he is very good. I think it was his first press conference as well. There you go. I remember in a press conference at the end of the India tour in 2024, having worked as a journalist for about 10 years by that point. So you were quite sneery at this point. With, you know, covered Ben Stokes as captain for two years. I asked him a question. I think it's on YouTube. And the first thing he says was, Vish, why are you being an idiot? Really? That's nice. Is that right? So it happens. and then you went bring me in Ben bring me in fight me Ben why why he gets away with it he gets away with it what no you know what you said yeah why Vish loves her fisticuffs he does well he said fuck me Ben no he said fight me oh shit should we do that again no we're not doing that again absolutely not we're not doing that again why on earth would I have said that that's what I thought you said Gordon Bennett Ben Stokes loves fighting Vish you should know that you're a cricket journalist the company was captive for two years famously got in a fight was it more than one fight maybe definitely one only one that was caught on camera right yeah there we go oh dear although I once spoke to a very very high profile former England cricketer and I dropped your name in the conversation he went oh yeah oh he's got a bit of a David Brent sense of humour is what he said that was Stuart Broad he was Stuart Broad I also once spoke to a very very prominent England all rounder yes about you and said, and he said to me, what are you thinking?

28:43And then you went, well, don't shave all of it. I said, put it away. Put that turkey wattle away. Put the last chicken at Sainsbury's back in the bag. You want to change your butcher, old son. Oh, the hell. Good old, beefy. Now, Burnley one, Mansfield down two. What a result. It's a cup set. It is absolutely a cup set. Oh, my giddy aunt. League One Mansfield. They came from behind. They were away from home. They're in the next round. What a victory. What an amazing result for the Stags. Stags, Stags, Stags, Stags. I've been to the one-call stadium as well. I've heard. Hopefully they'll get a home tie next.

29:21Well, this is it, Luke. Would they rather a kind of a, you know what, we could win that? Or do they want to go, do you know what, get us away to Arsenal or something for the Glamour tie? Well, they've already won like several games in the cup this season. they've beaten Accrington they beat Harrogate didn't they and so obviously they want at Bramble Lane to get into this round so they've had their fun it's a bonus whatever happens now yes but I think you've got to look I know in this studio chiefly because of you Marcus we are all kind of fairly lenient towards Scott Parker and I think joking aside there's some reason for that he's delivered them promotion to the Premier League again they've tried to play football in the right way and all the rest of it.

30:02And they're going to get relegated this season. And Scott Parker feels like he's going to be perennially in that position of, is he quite good enough for the Premier League? Is he too good for the Champions League? It's almost a Darren Huckabee of managers. But I do think he deserves some criticism for this. And I'll tell you why. One is because they went ahead. And really, you're a Premier League side. You have to close that out. There's three memories. The second is the manner of the goals. I mean, the first one is absolute dinner money stuff. and he got robbed of his dinner money at the back post, which is really inexcusable.

30:35And the writing was already on the wall for that because was it Oates himself had missed a chance when he'd robbed the... Before, really good shots as well. Obviously, the free kick's a great goal of good quality. You're fine. The third thing is, though, I look at that and I go, why are you making so many changes? Yeah. You haven't got a game for a week after this. This is a really good opportunity at home. The only real kind of reason is that they think they're going to breeze past them. And it backfired massively. But they should have breached Parker because the chances they missed. Yeah, I think the players had that in their mind.

31:07I think they were like, well, we could get four or five here. And they were so lackadaisical with their finishing. It was kind of embarrassing, actually. You can't blame Parker for that. They seem to have a degree of arrogance about it. I think beyond Ashley Barnes dropping deep and turning into fucking Harry Kane, playing through balls through, he was properly up for it, but I feel like everyone else was kind of mailing it in after they got that early goal. Well, I mean, the only thing you might argue there is that the pre-match prep wasn't perhaps what it should have been because if they're that relaxed, then, you know, he should be giving it to them.

31:40Yeah, that's true. I mean, look, compare that to Mansfield's coach Andy Garner who said at half-time to the team, he said, you need to be better because you haven't done your jobs. That's what we told them. Just be a little bit better, put some more crosses in the box, test them, and we'll see what happens. And sometimes the players do listen to you and actually do what you tell them to do. but the halftime team talk for Mansfield Town he knew that they were still in the game and it was there he said look come on we haven't done it yet Nigel Clough is such a canny operator as well he's been around for so long managed so many games seen it all done it all you know it's not a massive surprise that they could squeeze something out of this I just think if you're a Burnley fan you're so disappointed because it's an opportunity you're not that many games away from Wembley the season's not had a lot of joy in it you're in that weird Connor Hinterland where you're really excited about being in the Premier League but it's fucking shit every week because you just get beaten.

32:35Yeah. And I think they're entitled to think a home game in the Cup against Mansfield for a chance to get through to a decent round should be a win. And I don't know why he made the changes. I just think it was a really, really stupid thing to do given they've got a week off. I thought it was a stupid move. There were a lot of boos at heart full time as well. Rightly so. I can imagine. I mean, you're playing a league one side. They're not even that good by the way. mid-table league one side it's the first time since 1975 that they've made it to the fifth round of the cup so I think you have to say the only assumption you could make is that it was way too relaxed there because as you mentioned Vish they miss a good chance oh don't worry we'll get another one we'll get another one and bang suddenly you're on the end of a very embarrassing defeat whereas you win that game it's the old cliche but it worked for West Ham okay West Ham have got a better squad than Burnley and I think we all expected Burnley to go down at the start of the season and none of our minds have been changed on that but when West Ham beat QPR in the cup they said that was a bit of a springboard and a launch pad to go right come on we got a victory again I understand different contexts and what not but Blasiel for the fans at least beat a league one side at home in a cup Gordon Penny yeah totally but what a victory for Mansfield Town and that that Reid free kick 10 minutes from time oh it was delish lovely the focus on him as well and the fact that you know he said after the game that like he practices that all the time yeah And as soon as they got that free kick, other players were coming up to him and being like, mate, this is you.

34:01And to have that opportunity and take it is, yeah, one of the things. It must have felt so nice coming off his foot. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a beauty. It's a great goal. It's an absolute beauty. Some Premier League sides, of course, avoided a cup set. Wolves and Fulham in particular. Wolves won 1-0 away against Grimsby, breaking the sort of Premier League team hoodoo that was there hovering around in Grimsby town. on a great old school pitch. Oh my goodness. It's great they carried on. Hereford Town, Ronnie Radford stuff. Yeah, I was thinking to myself, there's a chance that modern football, they might not play this because their pitches are, you know, they're funny about pitches now, particularly when they get waterlogged and all the rest of it totally.

34:43It was great to see. Like, what was great about this game, obviously Wolves won it 1-0, but in injury time, for those who didn't see it, they really had to fight hard to protect that lead and you had these players who, because there's something about Wolves, given their recent history of George Mendes and the Portuguese players they get in it's a very continental team and there's something great about them having to throw themselves through mud to block shots against Grimsby to protect the lead in the FA Cup well the last thing they want is for it to go to penalties because we know what happens exactly exactly never forget don't forget I haven't I mean it was a good reminder I thought they'd have cleaned up the mess we made on their pitch left it all out there but Grimsby gave a good account of themselves.

35:26It was a shame that they couldn't do it. The FA had helped Grimsby install a giant inflatable cover over the pitch to try and keep it driving. Cheating. Also didn't work. In there with the authorities, aren't they? Just didn't work. Yeah. Was it just a big Harry the Haddock they just lay on the pitch? Oh, it's blown off. Oh, well, we've got to go ahead with it now. Fulham made it through away to Stoke City. They went a goal behind, but they managed to turn it round to win 2-1. Kevin was involved in a lot. Great stuff. Yeah. He was galloping around scored a lovely goal you could say he was left home alone in the penalty area yes he could there was a lot of bodies in the box but I appreciate the pun I just wanted to do it no no I appreciate the pun Harrison Reid got the winner from I'm going to say a defensive mix up which involves young keeper Tommy Simpkin some will say that's the fault of the goalkeeper but I did quite enjoy Mark Robbins sort of defending him young Tommy on the in the post-match interview saying well the goalkeeping coach will say that's the midfield's fault there and I think that was a very nice sort of diplomatic way of putting it because Simpkins had a really good game up to that point he made some very good saves so it was a shame for him can I ask a quick question about Kevin?

36:35yeah he's obviously been used we do need to talk about him we do need to talk about Kevin he's been used sparingly by Marco Silva this season mostly off the bench right? is it because he wants him to acclimatise? yeah I suspect so ok so we might see a lot more of him next season because I think he's a really exciting player he is an exciting player yeah I think that you know he came from obviously the Ukrainian league and he's still very young and you can see what he wants to do every time he gets the ball and the first time I saw him in the flesh was when he came on it might have even been his first appearance for Fulham forgive me if that was wrong he came off the bench against Leeds and when he came on you know when you support a mid-table side it's fair to say that you don't often get the flair players and all the rest of it right?

37:17Okay, appreciate it's in the Premier League and we've just been talking about Grimsby and Mansfield Town and stuff but when he came on as soon as you took the touch I was like oh we've got one of these players yeah yeah yeah exactly so his end product again the classic stuff of that type of play you know it's the decision making you can do it all you've got the skill you've got the speed you've got all that it's about trying to get the brain and the feet in unison you know I just hope he doesn't just continually I mean if Silva stays next season I just hope he doesn't continually use him as like an impact sub I know what you mean yeah it'd be good to see him involved a lot more yes absolutely right yeah but anyway another goalkeeper who for my money was at the centre of it was at Arsenal but poor old Mr Tickle in the Wigan goal couldn't do anything about a rampant first half display from the home side that's not past his name yeah it's not disrespectful I'm not saying it's disrespectful but your snigger was disrespectful I'm a big fan of the Mr Men books yeah because Marcus was one of my best friends are men Marcus gave him his Marcus gave him his due by giving him a shout on the show after a difficult afternoon and you've sniggered at him I'm not stiggering at him good luck to you Mr Tickle it's actually Tickle Tickle's dead

38:35it's Tickle we've driven a man to his death I was just disappointed you know this is respectful go on at the risk of doing a Nuno or a Oliver Glasner or something I'll be honest I was disappointed in the producers why is that because Mr. Tickle's name wasn't in the running order that's poor isn't it that is poor yeah absolutely poor oh well there we are good win for us now before we go for a break let's go to Brazil tis the season let's definitely go to Brazil based on what I've just seen let's go there now yeah well an update from Carlo Ancelotti some of you would have seen this how's he getting on in Brazil I hear you ask ahead of the World Cup of course he's doing well he's charmed the locals it would be fair to say the former Real Madrid and Chelsea manager was seen.

39:24Now, I think they were kissing him. That's certainly what he'd be saying to his wife. Yeah, who was there? But obviously it was the carnival in Rio over the weekend. Well, I say over the weekend. It just seems to go on for ages. His lips are pursed, though. It's important to say that. Yeah, so he's basically been seen. But he's still looking at the camera. He knows. He's kissing three women. At the same time. Yeah. He's not coming home, is he? Well, alongside that photo. Can we tempt you to the north-west of England? Alongside that photo, the reports are that Ancelotti is set to send an extension through to the 2030 World Cup.

39:57You're joking. Yeah, exactly. Not even King Arthur could yank him out of that situation. I saw somebody on X, whatever we call it now, asking Grok, is this photo real? And Grok apparently said, no, it's actually from a film and it's put together. But I don't know whether that's true or not. I'm putting it out there in case we've all got done. But I'm quite confident that King Carlo is in Brazil. You don't need some AI thing Bob to tell you. You know what Kyle Jotty's all about. You see the photo, you get a sense check and you know it's real. And actually it is false. There were four women there.

40:31His wife said, can you at least take a couple of them out of the photo? His wife was there in the same bit, by the way, we should say. This photo came out because May and I had emailed Carlo Angellotti saying, are you interested in the job? And he just replied with that photo. With a redacted email address. She said, When the thoughts were. Yeah, yeah. What do you think? Needless to say, never contact me again. Yeah. How did you get this email? Oh dear. Right, coming up after this, West Ham and Leeds are still in the hat. Just.

41:14Gentlemen, we had a penalty shootout. It was between Birmingham City and Leeds United. after a 1-1 draw. Leeds won 4-2 on pens. Oh, Birmingham City were so close. And there was an amazing save from Lucas Perry in the first half of this game. If you haven't seen it, it was absolutely incredible. Tipped it onto the post and bar. It was a brilliant, brilliant save. And I also was slightly disappointed because Patrick Roberts' equaliser in the last minute or the 89th minute looked at first glance to be an absolute beauty. When you saw it from behind, it was quite a tepid shot right at the keeper that got nodded into the far corner.

41:49That's right. That's right. Yeah. He won't care. Well, he will care because they've been knocked out. But at the time he wouldn't have cared. That's right. It was a late equaliser. But Birmingham were pretty good. They were good. They are good, aren't they? They've spent a shit ton of money. Stansfield is obviously brilliant. One of your form players. Yes. Fulham, yes. Yeah. Didn't quite get it done, did they? I didn't know whether to support the underdog in this particular game because they're not strictly underdogs, are they? Are they not? They just, well, I mean,

42:18Their story isn't as romantic as certainly the coverage made it seem, I thought. Can I pull you up on something there and just say that Stansfield's not been in amazing form, has he? He's not scored. He was very good. He's obviously a good player. It was a hallmark signing, wasn't it? Yeah. I mean, that season he had, was it two or three seasons ago? Sure. They spent a lot of money on him as well. That was League One, wasn't it? It was League One, yeah. Also, the madness of that situation was because Birmingham got Stansfield, I think you were able to get Rhys Nelson on loan. Oh, right. Was that the swing?

42:47but yeah that was a sweet well I think with Stansfield I saw him play for Fulham only I think it was once very few appearances there and I think that he could get to the Premier League and I think even with Birmingham City there are only a couple points off the playoffs and as you mentioned the money and so on there clearly the best player or one of the best players in League One that goes without saying in the Championship that seems to be his level right now but he could kick on but it wasn't enough of course but Birmingham they gave a good account of themselves but I think they'll be sick that they didn't go through in this game because as you say with the owners with all the money to get a big Premier League scalp in the FA Cup would have been quite something because for them there's no real well I don't think there's much consolation in them saying well we took them all the way and so on yes it is a marker of where they are and maybe that in the weeks to come is an encouragement to say look you played against the proper Premier League so I did and you did that but yeah I felt for them after that it's tricky for Leeds though going away to a kind of fancy championship side.

43:49It's almost a bit of a nightmare tie when you're fighting for Premier League survival as well. But the thing is, Birmingham, they knocked on the door over and over because they went behind. They knocked on the door over and over again and finally got the equaliser. You think that will give them the platform to go on with the momentum and win the game. But Lucas Perry, again, he saved, would he save two penalties? Definitely saved at least one. He said that he couldn't use his research against the penalty takers for Birmingham. because two of the players didn't have the number on their shorts. And that's the way around it.

44:20Which is an amazing, it's an amazing dig, isn't it? Because he's basically saying, I don't know who you are. I can't recognise you by your face because you are nothing to me. You're just a number to me. And if your number's removed, all my research goes out the window. Yes, which is why, again, here comes the big picture, at the World Cup. It doesn't work with Lionel Messi, does it? He doesn't have his number on his shorts. Masks, different shorts, change the kit. Oh, this is, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got a seagull mask on. Get the seagull mask and the numberless shorts in the picture for England.

44:50Fish, can you... You can't deny that, can you? No, I think it's a very good idea. In the heat of North America, passes out on the way up to... Thomas Succo, you swap with him. You sit down, you're not going to take one. But again, the notes are on the bottle. Take a leaf out of Hannah Hampton's book. Find that water bottle. Get it in the crowd. Exactly. Punt it. I feel like Pickford in his excitement oh he's learned from that definitely Pickford in his excitement might accidentally throw his own water bottle away definitely yeah 100 % yeah true which means Rackford always goes left what? yeah throw it and then tell everyone to calm down yeah exactly I have to protect the water bottle from some Moroccan ball boys yeah but there we are right now Burton 0 West Ham United 1 yeah talking of Premier League sides avoiding cup sets yeah I mean Burton I think would feel sicker than Birmingham might because they had so many chances.

45:50Yeah. And Burton are 21st in the table. But yeah. Oh. I mean, because Nuno made 10 changes to the start of 11. Again, thinking we should be okay. After extra time, they got the job done. My goodness. Did you see that kickoff was slightly delayed this game? Because a hole was found in the net at the West Ham end. So you saw them patching it up. That seems a little bit of an oversight. Is that right? A little hole in the side of the net. No VAR and all that. I see what you're doing. Did Chris Carver do it? Yeah, that is... Oh, we better patch that up. Interesting. I also think they should feel hard done by from the fact that they should have had a blatant penalty in Mavropanos who just piled through the back of the Burton player.

46:34That was surprising, wasn't it? Yeah, and I mean, they should have had a penalty for that. It was Jake Beasley, wasn't it? He failed. So, I mean, they probably could feel a little bit hard done by there. Should Freddie Propp's been sent off? Yeah, that was, well, the thing about that was, again, let's go back and talk about the referees. It was a really weird refereeing decision because of the optics, because the referee, Lewis Smith, he pulls his yellow out. So it's almost like he marches over to the incident, pulls the yellow card in his hand, which he's obviously trying to project this authority and he says, I don't know what decision I'm going to make here.

47:10And by the time the Malay kind of calmed down, from nowhere he just gave him a red card so I mean I suppose you would say a bit trickery from the referee yeah he's basically giving people sold him a dummy if you're going to be tricky with your cards yeah don't get the yellow out of your pocket you're like a prat maybe sometimes you know sometimes you reach into your pocket and you take the first thing out when you want the second thing well that's why that's my back pocket back pocket for a period of time do you remember referees were using circular red cards for that reason weren't they that's right yeah I I think Potts was unlucky in that.

47:46You can see what he's trying to do. It's not like one of the... It wasn't like, say, Luca Dean, who you think, come on, man. Oh, I can see what Luca Dean was trying to do. Well, indeed. And you think, well, that's ridiculous. Whereas him, it's this sort of scissoring action of the legs, which made it dangerous. But I think he's out of control as well. And certainly the ferocity of the tackle, he could have done some serious damage. I'm going to ask the West Ham fan in the room. Did you think it was a red card? No, he didn't think it was a red card. Do you know why? It's because Freddie Potts is the most West Ham player to ever West Ham.

48:18He's called Freddie Potts. Have you seen what he looks like? He's the son of a West Ham coach and he was born in Barking. He's basically Mark Noble, fucking reincarnated. Although Mark Noble isn't dead at the time of recording. To make that absolutely clear. He's the new Mark Noble. Oh dear, we have to move on. Oh, no, not from the game though. Because we saw a flyover protest. We saw a plane. come on we thought they'd gone out of fashion little planes are back you know what I saw when I saw that fish I thought we've got our game back I also love the fact they paid for per letter didn't they yeah because they they dragged a a kind of message over the back of the plane which used to be all the rage about 15 years ago yeah it was it's good to see it back and it said Sullivan it is good ampersand Brady out no more BS exclamation mark no it didn't have an exclamation mark did it not because I don't think they had one it had an I a lowercase I that's why I was confused by it I thought it was an explanation but yeah no more BS so it could be a homemade operation this and thrifty yeah it was thrifty it was thrifty very thrifty congratulations to Crescensio Somerville for scoring yet another goal because he's been brilliant he has been brilliant yeah we probably should have mentioned that and we have there we are thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network we're back tomorrow for the mailbag so get your chops around that lot Luke Moore thank you very much thank you very much for Tuzahantara jam thank you thank you too and for those who flew that plane thank you very much hopefully we can preserve that line for the rest of the season and spread you out a bit jam it right up your arse

50:04and put you in a Freddy pot

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