Chasing the Qatari bunce | 2026 FIFA World Cup

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1:35The 2026 FIFA World Cup meal at McDonald's is underway with one of nine legendary cups in the lineup. Christian Pulisic, David Beckham, Laminio Mal, Ronaldinho, Thierry Henry, Sun Hyung-min, Alphonso Davies, Santi Jimenez. And between the posts, it's grimace. Get one of nine collectible cups with a FIFA World Cup meal. At participating McDonald's for a limited time. While supplies last, all rights reserved. 2026 McDonald's at FIFA World Cup 2026. Finally, car shopping made for you. With CarGurus, you can use the new search feature, Guru, to look for vehicles using your own words. Whether you want great gas mileage or extra trunk space, simply type it in and Guru will give you real shoppable listings that match.

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3:45Wear your passion, your wear. Available now at Boss.com or at your nearest Boss store. It's beans, beans, beans. We're having some beans, beans, beans. We should start the football ramble and do a little sort of harmony. Go on then. I'll go. Yeah, but you can sing. I can't sing. Yeah, I can't really either. Can you give us the notes for a harmony, please? Football Rambo Rambo Rambo Not bad That's fine That's okay Let's do one more It wasn't Beach Boys But it was okay Let's do one more Rambo Rambo Rambo Rambo I'm slightly off there That was a harder note Shall I start one? You start one Yeah you start one It's in thirds You've got to do it in thirds Rambo I don't know what that is My voice is too deep Give us a nut My voice is too deep.

4:37I've got big fucking balls. We have all the time in the world. I could do Louis Armstrong. Do you want to hear it? Go on. We have all the time in the world. I know we have to start, producers, but I really would like to nail this. So you want me to start it? Yeah. Can you start it? You start it. I'll do the second one. Jim, do the last one. Yeah. Okay. So what? You want to start any note or rumble? Yeah. Ramble. Ramble. Ramble. Yes. It's not too bad. It's not too bad. We'll get there. Welcome to the football ramble. I don't think it was worth it. They're pushing on an open Ecuador people. Welcome to the football ramble.

5:20It's Friday 26th of June. I am Pete Donaldson. I am Jim Campbell. I am Luke Moore.

5:39A quick, pretty short final reminder that there are still a few tickets available for our World Cup watch party tomorrow night for England versus Panama. Join us for a live podcast on stage before the game. Some DJ sets. Pints of my fizzy aunt and great food as well. Excellent tacos, brilliant ice cream. Can't wait to get back involved with that. All in front of a giant screen for the game. And we've got a 2am license. What are the straight through crew saying about that, Lukey Moore. They'll be all about that. Oh, beautiful. They'll get there at 1.30am if it's a 2am. How do you get the tickets?

6:11Is there a link in the description, guys? Yeah, there is. Link in the description. Click on it now and bag yourself some bloody tickets. Maybe some people haven't realised, worked out when they're going to go for the England game. And also, I think England have got a really good chance against Panama. So, worth coming down. I've said this before. The amount of times before in England matters, I've not booked anything and it's three hours before we start and now I'm in a casino and I've spent like 30 quid to get there. It's horrible. Hates it. so come up it's a really really good night I'm not talking to your partner now I just ended up in the casino there's a really good telly instrument rhinos now we're everyone what are you doing oh I thought you were going to play a little sound effect I just put my phone on do not disturb fine I forgot to do it before the show I'll apologize anybody who tries to disturb Luke in the next hour no dice no dice there's a few people who can get through the do not disturb oh who can get through the firewall wife parole officer kids nursery has to be parole officer they have to it's legal they're legally they have to yeah that's pretty much it possibly my mum maybe my mum yeah alright well we're going to start with one of the moments of the tournament a real surprise for already qualified Germany they were done over by Ecuador they were a very spirited Ecuador side Jim Sane gave Germany the lead in the second minute Sunderland's Angulo equalising in the ninth and they did set up for some bloody hard work in the second half and this is Jim's surprise package beating his underachiever I know what a Jim Campbell night that was a real turnaround for me because it wasn't going well in either of those predictions It's a great day for the nation to Jimistan.

7:36Yeah, absolutely. Or Jimbuktu, Jimbarbway, whatever you want to call it. It's quite a fractured place. We've not decided on a nice. It's Jimmore. Nice. Some of these places are quite troubled. All of them. Makes sense. All of them. Why would you help them out, Jim? It's too complicated. I don't stay up to date with all of IFAB's rules, but I do think kicking someone in the face is always a foul yeah you can start there the referee's been baffling hasn't it yeah from game to game it's been it's been a real rollercoaster yeah it's been it's like an M. Night Shyamalan movie I think it all kicked off when they let that bloke who did the or care sign in the VAR thing it all sort of went a bit mad when that man was allowed back into the room did you also notice when they were ruminating over the let's be honest kick to the head yeah in the run up to the first goal first goal it's quite early on in the game and in the background you just saw some blokes carrying the FIFA netters around the side of the pit so it was a big F the big A it's like what's going on here it's really odd I didn't notice that it's like Laurel and Harley stuff but yeah I this may these days be a controversial point we're older now sometimes the modern world leaves us behind but I do think that kicking your foot that high and hitting someone in the face is probably an infringement I mean the high boot is an infringement without you even needing to kick someone in the face, right?

9:01I was surprised by how much they minimised it in the commentary as well. I think it might be because Alan Shearer missed it the first time. So I was like, no, no, it's not that bad. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, Alan Shearer is pro-kicking people in the head. Neil Lennon knows that. Lennon knows that. That wasn't even a very high boot. No. Lennon was down quite low down. Well, there you go then. It's fine. It's fine. But that is, so there is a grey area in that situation because if someone puts their head right down there and you're legitimately and be trying to kick the ball and they come from the blind side or whatever.

9:30I don't think you can necessarily Or it's John Terry's head. Or Abu Dhabi. Is it Abu Dhabi? It was Abu Dhabi. Smashes Terry in the face and literally knocks him out. Maybe it's slightly different. I thought this goal should have been disallowed. But it didn't really matter in the end, did it? Because Ecuador turned it around and did the business. It makes the story better as well. They turned it around against a goal that probably shouldn't have stood. There's a sense of overcoming the odds there. And there was a goal disallowed later on. The Perts Royer penalty disallowed. They watered the penalty and they overturned it because there was a foul on the build-up.

10:02A really obvious foul as well. Like a proper sort of, you know, just essentially just kick to the shin. But you'd think kicking the head would be obvious, wouldn't you? So you can't take that for granted. So, I mean, by that measure, the standard improved quite dramatically. So that's something. I also found this game to be tremendously entertaining. Yes, it was one of the most competitive games we've seen in the whole tournament, I think. Oh, Ecuador. I mean, Becazeza just set them up for some bloody hard work. Don't just say his name fast because you're not sure about it. say his name properly Beca Sese is that how you say it well it's Italian Beca Ciccia but it's Beca Sese because he's been in Argentina so he's Beca Sese that's what the Spanish would say and now he's in Ecuador and now he's in Ecuador so maybe I did spend about 20 minutes trying to figure out the correct person Mark has did that before the show last week what he did try to check what it was I don't fucking know he's great isn't he oh he's fantastic he's one of those guys who's like his family were roundly criticised in the most abrupt and loud terms possible in the stadium for the last match.

10:59He was very, very, you know, roundly criticised. But he set him up for some bloody hard work in the second half and on the 70th minute, Plata, it's Plata, isn't it? Plata and Ecuador, not only a place in the next round, but a national holiday. Oh, wow. For his countrymen, the president of Ecuador just went, national holiday today. Friday is now a national holiday in Ecuador. It's amazing. Populism at its finest, that is. I know, it really is. To the Galapagos. How can I tack myself onto this? I'll give you a very off. do you like his sartorial choices Peter? bit heavy in the I was kind of wearing a very similar kind of it's almost like a North Korean kind of dictator shirt I find those they're a bit of producer Charlie I think it's fair to say the top half but then the bottom half the bottom half was described as chinos but they weren't chinos they were joggers they were joggers and white trainers yeah I think that's to me I've got two issues with it right for me that cat's done nothing wrong I've got two I've got major issues with it in the words of Graham's two next one is because people always underestimate how hot jogging bottoms are and he's going to get warm I know he's from South America I know the climate's probably different but he's going to get warm secondly I don't think it's formal enough for this type of occasion I don't think tracksuit bottoms I only wear tracksuit bottoms when my wife says to me you need to go to the shop now because we're out of something isn't that part of Ecuador's kind of authentic underdog spirit though what tracksuit bottoms yeah I think so I think just that that's that's a representation of I don't know them being their real selves perhaps I don't think the Russian revolution where the working classes rose up they were wearing tracksuit bombs mate Ecuador didn't qualify for the Russian revolution but then I would say that like if you go too late you are at risk of being revealed I was going to my daughter's nursery your cot's going to fall out I was going to my daughter's nursery and I was wearing shorts remember Aldi did that range of shorts that had like Aldi branding on them.

12:53So I've got a pair of Aldi shorts. Don't look at me like I should know that. And I got in the nursery and I was like, you can see all my business here. Sorry, everybody. I'm in the nursery. Greg's do clothes as well. They do. What, in the shop? I'm not sure if they do them in the shop. Yeah, Primark. It was a Primark JV. So we established on the Luke and Pete show last week that Pete's ideal outfit is like a barrel. Yeah, just because you remember in the 80s. Remember the 80s? Like the shorthand for being destitute is you'd wear a barrel. You'd wear a barrel, yeah. It straps over the shoulder.

13:19even though it doesn't really work as clothes and you never see the image anymore. Barrels aren't cheap. No, exactly. How do these men end up in these barrels? I don't know. These days, the barrels are expensive because there's hardly any of them left. They used to be everywhere back in the day. But imagine Pete gets a gig, Touchline Reporter is for the World Cup. I forgot my clothes have been confiscated. Or your bag was lost on British Airways. Or they're too thin. They're too thin. See, I'm a business. So across now, Touchline Reporter Pete Donaldson is going to give us some team news. Cuts to Pete, barrel, braces, and a little barrel hat.

13:50Yeah. Nice. So that's how you could, was it better chase, so he could improve his sartorial choices? Well, yeah, I think so. He needed mobility because after the second goal and actually at full time, he climbed the perimeter of the pitch and hugged a lot of his family in the crowd who'd be getting abuse in the last time I had. Yeah. It was great. It was so lovely. It was great because there was talk, wasn't there, that if he didn't win this game or, you know, they didn't qualify out of the group that he'd resign or would be pushed I forget which. So it's a hugely, hugely, you know, big personal moment for him as well.

14:27And I'm, we've not even touched on his head yet. The whole head is great. The little chin-struck beard, the long Claudio-Kinesia hair. Again, something of the Jim Henson about him. Definitely. Definitely. Yeah, absolutely. Jim Henson style, for sure. And listen, Ecuador qualified well, right, for the World Cup. They were put in a fairly tough group and you felt like it would come down to how they got on against Ivory Coast, which of course didn't go well for them. And the draw against Curacao means that it's not that far away from being a disastrous campaign. So if you're able to turn it around is great for them.

15:04It's not great for Scotland, but that's another story. I would also say that, I said last week, I don't know if I was on the show with you, Jim, but I said that Germany look a bit like flat-track bullies to me. I feel like when they're put under pressure, they look defensively so tentative. I was really surprised at how tentative Neuer looks. Given that Neuer's, you know, you think when a player gets to a certain age, you think, okay, what is, what are they going to suffer from it? And then the goalkeeper, is it the reactions? Is it, you know, whatever. I thought he should be confident and he seemed very tentative to me.

15:39There were a couple of occasions where he made sort of kind of slightly awkward punches where he would otherwise have caught something. And I think you're right. And I think, is there an argument that he's at fault for both goals? For both goals, yeah. There's a lot of criticism for him coming into the tournament. You know, let's make it clear. He shouldn't really be playing at that age over the other options that they've got. But like you said... Would you reckon it's been Bogwash and Nagelsmann? That's a dynamic that could definitely have happened. I think so, yeah. Because Nagelsmann looks like Neuer could bully him.

16:04But at one point he came out late for a through ball and he clashed with his defender. The second goal, he looks like he tries to gather it up like about three seconds after it's in the back of the net. So it was very, I'd be worried about that if I was Germany. They're going to, obviously, they've won the group and all that good stuff. They're going to play Paraguay next. That'll be interesting. I don't think they were at full pilt though. Full pilt though, were they? Full pilt. Full biff. Full biff. Full biff. They weren't at full biff. That's a fair point. They weren't, but at the same time, I just thought they were chinks in their armour is all I'm saying.

16:35Yeah, and I would say with a lot of teams in this World Cup, turning desperation into energy seems to be the way to get through these fixtures successfully. Oh, Ecuador fight for their lives, right? You've got to put that in there, haven't you? Yeah. Ecuador have got, Ecuador were, they knew what their task was and Germany, I suppose, were in that little bit, that hinterland where, you know, you want to rotate some players, you know, things are going to be okay. So you've got to take that into account. But having said that, it was a fast start from Germany and they got flipped, you know, so it'd be interesting to see.

17:03To me, at this point, they don't get past the last 16 against France. Yeah. They'll play France in the last 16 if France get past, I think Sweden so that to me looks like their journey ends there because France are much better but you never know though you never know I think Ecuador as well in that last period where they were 2-1 up couple of occasions if they had a better final ball if they kept their heads a little bit they might have been in there for a third I think that's the problem isn't it they do look a bit blunt up front despite scoring twice yesterday again like you know Neuer has perhaps a little bit of blame to take for that have you seen Ecuadorian bums yet?

17:37I can't say I've seen a Birdman though Birdman was there The Ecuadorian Birdman was there indeed. Same Birdman as before. No, because that's Colombian. Oh, it's Colombian? Of course it is, yeah. Jiminy Cricket. Well, unless he's flown to a new nest. He could have just emigrated, I guess. Maybe he's invaded another person's nest. He could have. Another Birdman's nest. A cuckoo. A cuckoo, yeah. A cuck nest. A cuck nest. That's where cuck comes from, isn't it? Really? Yeah, cuckoo. Because cuckoos invade other people's nests, don't they? Where doesn't cuckoo come from? I think that's a different guy.

18:06Different guy. Well, Ecuador last reached the knockouts in 2006 when they lost 1-0 to England. As things stand, we will be facing them, Ecuador. David Beckham has called that goal in 2006, guys. Yeah, they shelled one from a long way out. That's a wine and hand. It might have been. Might as well have been. Might as well have been. Yeah, I remember it well. Yeah, well, elsewhere, Curaçao were beaten quite handily by Ivory Course from Arsenal. And Nicholas Pepe got a double at the centre. Debutant's Curaçao home. It was all pretty rudimentary stuff, wasn't it, Jim? Yeah, I think if Pepe keeps playing like that, he could get a big money move somewhere.

18:40a couple of nice finishes Diamande look very threatening again I mean yeah this is always going to be a stretch for Curacao I wasn't just trying to get anything from it but this is massive for every coach the first time they've reached the knockout stages in the World Cup and they've been really unlucky with groups in the past and they've done brilliantly here how do you how do we assess Curacao's campaign I mean obviously you don't want to be patronised about them but they got a point scored a goal I mean that's I mean that's huge that's where we sort of expected the Minos to find their joy Or does that be fair?

19:10You want to score a goal. You want to celebrate a goal. Ideally, you want to pick up at least a point. But they were still in the mix until the last game. So, I mean, it's reasonable. I think it's a reasonable return. It's quite a chaotic start to their, you know, compare with the manager and stuff. I think that's pretty good, isn't it? That's true. They're in a really tough group as well. Even every group is going to be tough when you're a team like that. But Germany, Ivory Coast and Ecuador. Like one nightmare from three different continents. Yeah. And they also, I mean, the big moment for them would have been equalized against Germany, right?

19:40Yeah. And the game gets taken away from Jim because of the hydration break, as you said at the time. Indeed. Yeah, it could have gone either way. It was in the balance then. You were fuming about the hydration break at the time. I was fuming about the hydration break at the time. Ryo Ferdinand likes him. Sorry, the ad break. Yeah, yeah. Ryo Ferdinand likes him. Have you seen this? No, I haven't. Of course he does. Ryo Ferdinand has had some amazing quotes about the hydration break. Right. I'll find it for you right now. Give me a second. I wasn't planning on doing this. That's right. Right, here we go.

20:05Rio Ferdinand on the hydration break. This is Rio Ferdinand's take. This is the most Dunning-Kruger effect take ever, right? If all these players in these countries and these federations want some money, you've got to do some things a bit differently. They're not affecting the game that much. This is something I maybe see happening further around. It could go into the Premier League. So I'm saying, what if it's 100 more million? The Premier League are doing it in that situation, and I don't blame them. So he basically wants the entire fabric of the sport. He's a businessman. Of 150. He's not a businessman though, is he?

20:40He's an idiot mouthpiece for businessmen. That's not the same thing. He tries to be smart by looking at, you know. By being contrary, right? Well, I don't think it is by being contrary. I think he looks at a situation or a problem and goes, if I take the opposite view from what most people are saying, that's clever. It's clever, yeah. And I think that's about the full depth of it. Maybe he's just playing some 3D chess that I can't understand. Maybe he's just a mouthpiece for wealthy people. Yes. And made himself adjacent to them. But I can't believe a professional footballer of that standing is of that view.

21:16They're not affecting the game that much. I mean, oh, it's split into four quarters for crying out loud. Yeah, it's absolutely ridiculous. Hopefully we'll have another dig at Jamie Carragher for no reason and just get rings run round him. It's one of my favourite things in modern football. The thing that annoys me about the hydration breaks, and I'll come back to the Ivercourse match, which is pretty standard stuff, wasn't it, Jim? But you just sort of think that in every single match we've had, it seems that it has had an effect on the balance of play. You can see on that little kind of weird graph that you sort of see.

21:45The momentum graph. The momentum graph, that's what it is. It swings every time there's a bloomin' hydration break slash hand break. Yeah, just having a three-minute break in the middle of play is always going to completely reset it, isn't it? and it gives an opportunity for a little tactical break, which is not part of the game. No, it's not. And it's tedious. Is there a... So for me, my position would be if the temperature is over a certain temperature, you should legitimately better have a hydration break because the player state is important. But how you execute that hydration break, it perhaps should be, I don't know, the drinks are like down at the corner flag and the players go to the corner flag.

22:24The coaching staff aren't allowed there or whatever. Because in cricket, for example, you have drinks. The batsmen get drinks. Someone runs out with drinks, gives it to them. They chat to each other, but they can't chat to the coaches. It don't take long to have a little drink. It doesn't need to be longer than a minute. No, completely agree. Again, though, we all know that it's not about the hydration. No, it's not. And that's the main problem. But Arsenal teams over the last year or so would take two minutes to take a corner. Yeah, exactly. And they are your champions. Exactly. They're not my champions.

22:54They are. They're all of your champions. Our team's in the championship, isn't it? We're not even eligible for that. It's irrelevant to us. So look, I think there are ways to do a hydration break. This isn't it. Rio Ferdinand as an idiot, carry on. Well, look, so the Ivorians, as we go into the next round, they obviously beat Ecuador 1-0. They showed flashes in their defeat at Germany. I thought they were pretty good. Not the same flashes you show in your Audi shorts, though. No, exactly. That's a different matter indeed. Oh, they've ripped again. They play Norway, don't they, as Stingstan? which I think it could yeah but I think Norway might do something against France tonight you think so you never know I think they might I think it could be a really interesting game I fancied Ecuador ahead of the Germany game I had a little tickle on that which I was pleased with Norway can definitely hurt France we don't know who Ivory Coast are going to play yet there's also talk that William Saliba won't be available for France tonight so that might be Canate going back in he just doesn't fancy playing against Haaland no I think he's got an injury okay yeah an injury of the foresight what he's just frightened injury to his injury to his frightening well we'll get onto it I mean like interesting that all the permutations are yet to be decided but actually Norway could be playing Sweden that would be great there is a chance I'd like that that would be excellent can I chuck something out in there that I completely didn't I forgot to raise at the start of the tournament that I want to put out there now it seems a bit unfair to me that if you win your group you could play a second place team but you could play a third place team yeah I completely agree Yeah, I guess so.

24:25Because ultimately, you win your group. If you're playing against a second place team, in the context of the tournament, you're playing a better team than you would be if you played a third place team. Is it because there's only so many of those third place teams to go around though? Well, it's because it's a 48 team tournament. So you mean it makes the tournament bigger? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, yeah. And all year. It's just uneven, isn't it? The whole thing about it is uneven. Of course. That's why you have to make these kind of, what's the word I'm looking for? These compromises. So yeah, look, Norway v Sweden would be great it's a winner takes all shootout between Norway and France isn't it so I think Norway could hurt France I'd like to see France because they move through the gears against Senegal and against Iraq I'd like to see them be tested I wonder how much they can deal with Norway's attacking threat maybe they will I think the opposite is true though isn't it I think Norway's talent is very top heavy yeah could be a straight shootout very much so

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28:05Country road, take me on to the place I belong. In the stadium with the ball. La pelota, querido, para que se torne. A little bit of take me on, country road. So he's Spanish Yeah But he thinks he'll just Chuck a little bit of Take Me Home Country Road In the middle You love to see it And then go back to Spanish again Yeah Can I make a slightly unfair And controversial point Re-commentary Is there anything we can do To stop you No So just let me get on with it He couldn't remember The word compromise A second I couldn't So he's uncompromising He's just never done it before Never done it anymore Very rich Sometimes Sometimes people start A discussion with me By going Who's that man Who are And I'll go What do you mean He's on the telly yeah my brain's been compromised and I'll go Danny Dyer yeah that's it that's the guy perfect anyway we've become one brain one of the ITV commentators is American right yes and I think that's totally unnecessary I quite like it a bit of local flavour yeah I just think why are we doing that what do you mean why are we doing that British people don't want to hear American commentators right do they they think it's silly the same way that's a generalisation isn't it the same way well yeah I mean most of the things I say are generalisation aren't they yeah but the way that American I'm not sure that his wife can't hear his American wife oh this is what it is she can hear she chooses enough to listen yeah good yeah well maybe that is part of it yeah but I'm just saying you know I don't think like American like American NBA fans don't want to hear a British commentator no sure I'm just making that point but also if I'm watching a basketball show on say your Channel 4s and stuff I find British people talking about it a bit it's like the same way they don't like British wrestlers cutting a promo I'm like oh that guy's from Kent yeah he's not cool I think different accents suit different things I'm just saying I just think maybe Jim here's the angle I'm looking for putting a beautiful British commentator out of work and in today's climate today's economy that's unacceptable well that's where Spells he's gone trying to get work I want them all in Spanish or all Brazilian now we are in Kansas anymore actually watching Tunisia take on the Dutch fairly straightforward performance from this from the Dutch coming out 3-1 winners less straightforward forward from the weather though, Luke.

30:14It was a real downfall. It was probably downfall? Downpaw. It was coming down. Downfall was your favorite film. Downfall. Yeah, because the right team won. That's why. That's why. Not because of my haircut. I'll tell you what. Worth digging out the ITV YouTube highlights of the Ecuador-Germany match because there is a New Jersey police. It just starts the whole fucking video with a shot of a New Jersey policeman's face with a big old Reiki moustache. Big old towel. And he's just in the full frame for like four seconds before it gets to somebody taking a throw in. You're like, just cut that bit out.

30:52Why are you starting with that? It's so weird. Authentic. So very strange. Has he got like a biker moustache? Yeah. No, it's proper. Yeah, it's proper like... Third Reich. It's a bit third Reich. Again, a bit rich from me. What was your original question to me? I can't remember now. Sorry about the weather in Kansas. The weather in Kansas was awful. Those of us who've seen The Wizard of Oz will understand that the weather can be very changeable in Kansas. It makes perfect sense, you know. Tunisia clicked their sparkle heels together three times and they will now be going home. Exactly. Tunisia would be a poor team.

31:27They've had a terrible, terrible World Cup. They've had a shocker from start to finish. I didn't see them in qualifying. I presume they were better. Herve Renard couldn't sort it out. Netherlands were far too good for them. and Koeman's stuck with a pretty decent team as well though to be fair yeah Brian Broby's having a great tournament he really is so he didn't start the first game but he comes in the second two games and now he can't stop scoring got to stick with him there's nothing to suggest he would have done this I don't know I think he's a powerful finisher and he's very strong and against a team like Tunisia when you look at some of the weaker group teams in the group you think okay this might suit him very well he scored with every shot at what point do you just like shoot from kickoff when that's happening there's a lot of Sunderland players knocking them in we need to start they're going to have a terrible start to the season because they're all going to be knackered exactly Henderson plays for Brentford Pete yeah I know but he's from Sunderland that doesn't count so we can't we haven't got any of the Sunderland players in the squad do you know who was also born in Sunderland Lionel Messi he was raised by the Navy confusing made in the Royal Navy made in the Royal Navy Scurries on goal takes the tally of Oggies in this World Cup to 12 equaling the total in 2018, which is the record.

32:40Two in this game. We're not even out of the bloody group stages. Yeah, but there have been 400 more games than in any other regular World Cup. More teams, more games, more records. More orgies. I still feel like it's higher. I still feel like if you sort of worked out the mean game per own goal, I think it's still way higher as well. Sure. I think it comes from Genizzi being dazzled by that orange kit, right? Both those own goals. There's got to be a point where you have to say, this is too distracting it's too distracting to be that bright I believe those suffering from colour blindness are delighted with it right because it means it's easy for them but I think it does come a point where it's a bit too like I was saying to Marcus the other day you might have been there Peter a team should experiment with wearing a Vantablack kit yes oh like as black as anything can be so it would almost be like playing against a Vortex you wouldn't be able to get any depth of perception the problem is you do have to pay a licence to have Vantablack Can it go on clothing?

33:38Probably can't go on clothing. I think so, yeah. You'd use it to die, couldn't you? I don't know. You'd have to ask, I can't remember which artist did, so he basically invented the blackest black paint and then decided to trademark, not trademark it, but like patent it, patent it, so nobody else could make the same colour. Paint it. Paint it. And then another rival artist made a black that was almost as black and he basically sells it for cheap. It was Anish Kapoor, wasn't it? Anish Kapoor. Oh, okay. Little shit. And so I was making the point that maybe a team could have a Vanta Black kit, but it kind of got derailed because I had to spend five minutes explaining to market what Vanta Black was.

34:14And I lost my way after that. But I think there's a point where this Netherlands kit becomes too distracting. I wonder what the rules are. Is there kind of like a Pantone kind of brightness that you can't go higher than? A Campos rule. A high V. Yeah, could you just go right out? Our red away kit for England is now high Viz. It's just as yellow as it can be. Could you put like magic eye patterns on your kit to distract your opponents? I've seen a big bird. Oh yeah, there's an elephant in that. Fuck, I've conceded. Oh no, what you want in there is the image of that team scoring an amazing goal.

34:49So you'd be intimidated by it. Something really shameful. Or it's a really small goal. So the other team think psychologically the goal's really small. What do you make of the Netherlands goal music? It's so on brand, it's unbelievable. Yeah, it's a sort of happy hardcore version of Old Lang Syne. and it's very distracting. Hard style old Langs on. It's the musical equivalent of the brightness of their kit, isn't it? It's very Dutch. It's like so on brand, it's unbelievable. I mean, I was saying the other day, this is perhaps me just becoming a crotchety old man, that there's two, it's very noisy tournament in terms of all of the kind of sensory overload of it.

35:25And I think actually, for a long time, people didn't like goal music because it obviously drowns up in the noise of the crowd and a crowd really celebrating a goal with a massive cheer is a beautiful thing. I think that battle's lost, isn't it? Those days have gone. But yeah, I sort of, I think I missed that. I think I missed the kind of authentic outpouring of emotion of it and particularly kind of hardcore songs like that get in the way of it. But at least it is original. At least it's not freed from desire or something like that, you know. They've basically decided that a beautiful Robert Burns poem needs 150 beats per minute on it.

36:023am crawl Put a donk on it For crying out loud Yeah at least put a donk on it At least put a donk on it For crying out loud Pretty routine performances From the Netherlands I know they drew against Japan They look decent But they've always got up Their group historically But they've never won the World Cup So At time of recording No one scored more goals Than them in the group They've got 10 Along with Germany Thank you Brobby Well quite And they got They did get paid back By a decent looking Japan side Who I'm curious to see how far they can go because I think they can give Brazil some big problems.

36:34That is a Monday night treat, that. That's 6pm on Monday for us in the UK. Oh, come on. Sensational. Sensational picture, that. But other than that, Netherlands have looked better than I thought they would. But I still feel like they seem slightly less than some of their parts. Does that make sense? I think Japan, in particular, that match, they showed Netherlands way too much respect. Definitely. They played the show rather than the actual team. Definitely. And obviously, Japan drew last night with Sweden. and there were two great goals in that game. Antti Alanga scored a brilliant goal where he cut in on one side and smashed one in the corner.

37:04Yeah, I'm not having that. I'm not having that. I'm looking at Newcastle supporting producer Charlie there. We're not having that, are we? We're not having that. What's going on there? Was it a cross? Is he that bad at crossing? He's got no previous this kind of defence. And Japan scored a brilliant team goal. They did. It was absolutely stunning. That kind of like delayed kind of like holding up the ball and then laying it off was absolutely stunning. Yeah, elsewhere in Group F Japan shared a point with Sweden ensuring both sides qualified the round of 32. Yeah, and there was a funny moment at the end of that game where Anthony Langer hadn't realised that Sweden had gone through.

37:37So he sat on the floor. That's more like it. That's more like it. Not really knowing what's going on. And Graham Potter said after the game, I had explained the permutations beforehand. I didn't think I had to. In my mind, he's walking up across the saloon floor with those two spurs on, the hat, with the toothpick in his mouth. This is why no one's listening to him. It's just distracting. Sorry, I spent too much. I didn't explain to Alanga the permutation because I was too busy hitching my ride, hitching my horse, spinning my gun around on my finger, talking to my steer. Demanding some sass barilla.

38:08Listening to Ennio Morricone. I was lassoing a wild hog in the wild. Graham Potter said before the game, this literally is my first rodeo. Is that true? He actually said that. That's excellent. Good, good stuff. Yeah, I mean, apparently some fans in China supporting Japan at the World Cup and I'm sure the Chinese Communist Party you're taking that in the spirit and we're just intended. Is that surprising or we don't know much about the cultural areas? It would be like a lot of England fans to buy in France certainly for a laugh. Well, let's just see how it transpires. I think Japan Bonjour le Rambul.

38:44I think Japan have invaded China five times. I know that. I know that. I just, the chutzpah of that. It's like the Isle of Wight invaded France. I mean, these are the sizes of the places. I'm up for that. same I mean the shots it's a win-win for me the shots of these Chinese fans it was in Shanghai which is a very different situation to you know all of the other the reason I'm asking the question presumably that's a very metropolitan city it's a massive it's very French everyone's got a lot of you know it's very international like you say but they did sort of say that a lot of Chinese kids obviously grew up watching Japanese anime Captain Tsubasa are you familiar with him yes is that the one that it's a soccer anime Andres Iniesta was really into yes I believe so Yeah, it's about a boy who wants to play at the World Cup.

39:29Tsubasa meaning wing. Even though I don't think he plays on the wing. It's quite confusing. But Japan will be facing Group C winners at Brazil on Monday. Like you said, I could see them at work in Brazil. It's a lovely fixture. You do get scared, though. It's a great time. It's an exciting World Cup game. Japan have definitely got the facilities to hurt Brazil. Yeah, big man. Big man. Facilities big man to hurt Brazil. And so I think that's a great... This is when it starts to get really interesting, right? You get the occasional upset in the group stage. You get the occasional fixture between big teams because you'll get a group of death or whatever.

40:03Once you get in the knockouts and you start getting into drama and extra time and big teams playing each other. We've got the hashish derby on Tuesday. The hashish derby is going to be great. Absolutely amazing. It is smoking from a massive pipe on a carpet against ripping a fat bong in a techno club. Who's going to win? Too old legs. We all fucking win. We all win. We all win. The thing that I want to see in the Brazil-Japan match, I have to say, is the return of Keski Honda. Obviously, a very celebrated Japanese footballer, one of the most famous Japanese footballers who ever lived. Didn't play a lot of football in Japan.

40:38He literally will do anything not to go out of Japan to play. But we didn't mention it at the time, I don't think, but we didn't do Keski Honda's commentary, core comms, in their opening match. I want to see him back in the core comms position because there's so many in the first match. I think it was the first 45 minutes, he was just on absolute, like, rich vein of form. Upon seeing the water break, given in the first half, he couldn't understand what was happening and was visibly surprised, even though 10 matches had already been played in the tournament. Later, he mispronounced the acronym for VAR, confusing it with VTR, which is how they say a videotape recorder in Japan.

41:17So he was saying, what's this VTR? This is VTR. in a moment when the Japanese player accidentally bumped the referee and fell he couldn't contain himself and shouted give him a yellow card man a Japanese player running into the referee shouting giving him a card he didn't even know VAR existed well I think he knew VAR existed but he called it VTR he wanted a yellow card given to a Japanese player because he accidentally ran into the referee right before a corner kick that led to Japan's second goal he predicted I'm feeling something it's coming fair play number 11 is so annoying what's his name it was Cody Gakpo amazing amazing so annoying I watched it again with my granddad yeah how can a winger be 1.93 metres he then he then ranked the Netherlands most dangerous players as number one Cody Gakpo number two Gakpo number three Gakpo four De Jong I mean just incredible stuff and then when the cameras panned to Liv Morgan the wrestler in the stands he couldn't help himself and ask the announcer who's that woman just absolutely losing his mind did he know he was working I think he just flew in from whatever team he's decided he's in Singapore now isn't he he's in Singapore yeah I think Singapore's got a relationship with the Japanese club it's all just very strange he's a deeply strange man and I want to see him on the Japan he also he also had a season in Botafogo he was like a big grand export of Japanese football yeah he just refused to play any league size there's a big Japanese community in Brazil so it's probably maybe related to that as well coming up after this Turkey have finally turned up it's just a shame that they're already out

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44:35Turkey 3, USA 2. This is a great game as well, buddy. Turkey finally turned up this year's World Cup, but a little bit too lit to be honest a little bit too late the first Turkish World Cup win since 2002 and they were pretty good but like you say too late good game spirited performance from both sides I also think with this game I mean there was a couple of games or maybe one game in particular which would have been Paraguay-Australia who just traded a really shit game even though they said they weren't going to do that which helped them both but the final group games so far have actually been pretty good overall despite the fact that the change to how you rank the team just kind of arguably killed it a bit.

45:16But Turkey v USA, this to me felt a bit like, obviously USA knew they were fine, so they changed some players around. And then Turkey, the shackles were off really because it's like, well, there's nothing left to worry about. You can play with a bit of freedom. And that's basically what happened. I wouldn't read too much into it, but it was a great game to watch. Turkey are the unofficial world champions as well, aren't they? That's really annoying to me because it was US and Turkey has taken it off the US. How does that work? So since the World Cup was first awarded, I believe so. Obviously, whoever beats that team then gets it.

45:51Like a boxing ball. The reason that's annoying for me is because it leaves the tournament. If it had stayed in the tournament, barring some kind of third place playoff thing, whoever won the World Cup would also be the unofficial world champion, surely. Do you know who it's being defended against? They're going to play against, the next time they play to defend their unofficial world championship will be in the Nations League against France. So you never know your luck. Get closer. Get closer. Nice. Like that. Maybe they should just do a little sort of friendly to get it back in the tournament halfway through behind closed doors.

46:23That's probably not an apple. Well, against a team who's still in the World Cup. Yeah, a little closed doors friendly. In the round. How are you preparing for this quarterfinal? We've got a needless friendly. Yeah. And against a really angry turkey. Bit annoying. It's 32 degrees outside. Turkey just want to go home, so they're fuming. Yeah. That's not going to happen, Peter. No. Well, I only suggested it whimsically, but now you've made me fortify it in my mind and I want it to happen. But if I was Turkey, do you know what I'd be doing? Yeah. I'd be expecting the heroes welcome when I go home.

46:55Unofficial world champions. Unofficial world champions. Streets won't forget. Exactly. Yes, the US still top their group despite the loss. They're going to be in Bosnia in the round of 32 on Thursday, which feels doable. And like we say, it's always good to have one of the horse nations still in the tournament. They've got to be fancying that. And you know what, as well, I think as things go at the moment, obviously these things change, so they'll play the winner of Egypt and South Korea. Oh, wow. So, I mean, they're basically a quarterfinal team. Bosnia really relish being underdogs though, don't they?

47:25They seem to actively enjoy being underestimated. So this will, I think, be a good game. It'll be brutal if the US get knocked out by Bosnia after the relief they've built. This is the joy of the knockout rounds of the World Cup, right? and I think it might be exacerbated this time because the group stage has been so much longer, so many more teams in it. And realistically, I don't think there's been a single point where it's ever felt like a big team is under any real jeopardy. Not even slightly. Suddenly you get the teams going out and it feels really sudden, doesn't it? It feels really, really brutal.

47:54So I'm looking forward to this stage. Well, also in Group D, Paraguay played out a goalless draw with Australia, which very much suited both sides. Mollocks, isn't it? It's just rubbish. It was rubbish. We did mention yesterday that the defender, Jason Guerrero, said that they won't play out a truce and that would be cheating the game in a way. We've been cheated. I think it's entirely possible and plausible that Paraguay v. Australia was just shit. Yeah, it's true. Who ever thought a disingenuous Australian when it came to sport? I'll put it out there. Not the time. It's not cricket season. Is it cricket season?

48:27I don't know. It's the middle of the summer.

48:31Don't watch it, not interested. Well, they knock us out in the quarterfinal and they can show off then, can't they? Exactly. Yes, Australia have now qualified for the knockouts in back-to-back tournaments. Good for them. Good for them. It's a solid joke on the side. You've got to do what you've got to do to go through. And it's FIFA who've made these ridiculous rules, not them. So if that's what suits you, that's what suits you. And they were excellent in that win against Turkey. As kind of wasteful as Turkey are. Yeah. Slash were. A bit jacked and hired Australia because they were poor against the USA, though.

48:57But let's see. Did you see that a Paraguayan commentator that had his World Cup credentials stripped by FIFA after going on a huge rant against match officials and the organisation of the tournament. After Miggie, Almiron was sent off for covering his mouth in a confrontation against Turkey, he called Gianni Infantino and the referee thieves and he accused them of killing football. So he's had his World Cup credentials stripped by FIFA. I think they're just respecting the traditions of the host nation, aren't they? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Out the oval. He should have screamed freedom of speech.

49:29He's been replaced by that bloke from Mumford & Sons. and some right-wing blogger. Winston. Winston. He's called Winston, isn't he? Is he called Winston? Yeah, he's called Winston. We mentioned yesterday that Scotland had, had, the biggest had, a had you could see from the moon. Hadling's wolf. The Hadron Collider. 42 % chance of reaching the knockouts. Well, last night's game meant, games meant that it's dropped to just 5%. It was a lovely little sort of, I think, AI created little list of things that had to happen for Scotland to get through. Three of them were wrong. Yeah, probably wrong. Three of them were wrong, right?

50:07The fourth one was a monkey rod in the unicycle, was it? And they had six fingers. And like every five minutes just seemed to be like, cross them off. So basically the top eight go through. They are currently eighth and there are a load of games left to play. It's not looking good, is it? It's curtains for them, I think, yeah. Well, one team who are definitely out of the World Cup, Qatar, they're officially out of the World Cup, but it has been reported that they've been paying people to go to North America and support the team. Where's our email? Where's our email? Shaw at footballranmel.com If indeed that still is the email.

50:40I haven't done a jingle for some time. Oh, what about... It used to be peterabsoluteradio.com didn't it? For a long, long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say that every five minutes on here. Yeah, well, yeah. The amount of times when I was on Absolute Radio, I would be reading out the football scores of an evening, a bit tired, and I would just sort of say, yeah, it's... you know, Liverpool 1, Arsenal 0, live on 5 Live. And I was like, I don't know why I just said that. I just read it off the BBC News website. Terrible. But yeah, it's been reported that they have been paying people to go to support the team.

51:11Around 1 ,000 people have been out for the entirety of Qatar's tournament, where they've been receiving assistance on how to be a World Cup supporter. It must be mad to live in a country that's got money. Yeah. I know! It's a complete alien to me. It's fixable, lads. Yeah. Yeah. But nothing else, seemingly. Yeah, but every other news story in this country is either water problems or tax rises. You're not. Bring your Thames water diatribe onto this show. It's actually southeast water at the moment. Right. They're the ones who are losing a million litres of water a day. Okay, nice. Believe that, Jim.

51:45I've heard it before from you, but it's a lot. A million litres a day. It's a lot. It's a lot of water. Where's it going? We don't know. Where's it going? Should we just live underground? Because that's where the water is. Suddenly, the sea level's rising. I wonder who's going to put two and two together we could be using that for AI to work out how Scotland can qualify use some of that water to dilute the sewage you're pumping into the canals because the truly dystopian thing about AI data centres is they need fresh drinkable water what a timeline are we on with why can't we just convert it to salty water it's 100 million litres of water a day by the way Jim not 1 million 100 million litres of water a day is this just one big hole yeah it must be fill it in yeah fill it in put Mattatissier in it under his tucking him in with his milky blanket let's have a swim how much would you to support France for a tournament Luke what would you take what would it take what just for this World Cup yeah for the entirety of the World Cup be out there five star hotels I'd do this can't have sex I think probably some stubby French beers ten million pounds ten million pounds yeah he was your 100 ,000 would you support France would you get out there and support France Le Bleu it's good to hear that 10 million has got me around the table there's been a counter offer Jim for real business also we meet in the middle peak yeah okay right yeah just 25 hours before Qatar's final group stage match against Bosnia about 500 men and women some who have never been to a game gathered at the Hyatt Regency in Seattle and they're greeted by Qatari officials after being told they can attend the World Cup for free up to a quarter of those spoken to picked up the free tickets despite having no connection at all with the country.

53:27It is the very definition of a beautiful job. Nothing's real. And also, presumably the only people who can afford tickets, are they? Emirati folk. Yeah, they were free anyway, weren't they? They were given like a kit with a shirt in it and Qatar branded sunglasses and advice on how to behave like a supporter. Why don't we get that? Because we'll do it for... Yeah, because our kit is like a kit. Well, we'll pay for it. A Sainsbury's Carabaug with a flare and lube. That's all we've got. Pete's got no idea how to behave as a supporter. He can do that. He just called a Caria Bag a Carabaug. A Caria Bag a Carabao, for crying out loud.

54:06Tonight, Uruguay take on Spain in Group H. The Uruguay players, it's fair to say they're not happy, Lukey Moa, they've revolted against Marcelo Bielsa ahead of the game. Some players are demanding that he change his approach and stop doing what he's doing. what's the photo just because that photo he refused to have yeah oh what where he's just looking down at the floor do you reckon he's just he's just so against the whole kind of fever set up I love that Bielsa just calls press conferences and talks for hours no one gets a word in and this one he did 48 minutes claiming the players tried to get rid of him in the middle of the tournament he's like he's like proper he's like proper almost like el presidente three sheets to the wind like suicide bomber fucking logic whatever you say I'm just going to fucking take it to the public and you can't stop me you can't negotiate with me so you can start briefing the press if you want about you don't like me but I'm going to go out there and I'm going to tell them for an hour it's like the Iran deal isn't it?

55:02Iran's going we did not agree to any of this Trump's talking shit again is he? so you actually said Pete you predicted this might happen he's uncompromising isn't he I suppose he certainly is I mean I don't really blame the players imagine if we were sat here knowing that Thomas Tuchel's approach to England was to just run them into the ground. Just constantly, constantly drill them. And if they don't like it, he's going to come out in public and criticise them for it. We had that with Capello, didn't we? Exactly, and that was rubbish. Broadly didn't work, did it? Yeah, they're demanding that he wants to change the...

55:32They need to change the playing style and it's not great, is it? But they've got to take on Spain, so that'll be fine. Yeah. I think it's going to be a lovely, spicy match, though. Norway, France and Uruguay, Spain are two good games tonight. Yeah, exactly. We've also got Senegal versus Iraq, Cape Verde against Saudi Arabia, Egypt versus Iran, and New Zealand versus Belgium. Who are the other picks there? Well, I love that the two of these games is involving four teams who have got absolutely no reason to ever be in contact with each other ever. Yes, it's good stuff. Cape Verde has never once talked to Saudi Arabia.

56:05And New Zealand and Belgium have got nothing in common. Yeah. No, I guess not. I mean, yeah, we'll get to have a bit of connection to it. I don't know. I suppose the way that Saudi Arabia have got their fingers in every pie, so maybe they've got some kind of Chinese-style Belt and Road initiative in it. But ultimately, it's quite weird to hear that Cape Verde are going up against Saudi Arabia in something, isn't it? The best of New Zealand and the best of Belgium have decided to finally see who's going to come out on top. It is weird. To see who's more chilled out. Whoever wins. We're just confused.

56:37Well, thank you very much for listening to the Football Roundup, part of the Acast Creator Network. Please, not please, I don't care if you do, but I think you should. Come and witness the fitness in the University of Panama tomorrow night. Do come down. Tickets are available. The link is in the description. So I can't wait to see you guys. Jim, say goodbye. Bye. Say goodbye. Lukey Moore. Goodbye. Thank you for listening to Football Ramble, part of the Aircast Creator Network.

57:11The Football Ramble is a stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

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