Deal Sh*t

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3:51Isaac finally shifts and suddenly they've signed Mr. Brobby. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It is Tuesday, the 2nd of September. I am Pete Donaldson. I am Jim Campbell. I am still, for now, Luke Moore.

4:18Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. That's the Mr. Brobby theme tune, isn't it? They should play it when he comes out the tunnel. Brobby, oh Mr. Brobby. If you think we're not going to mention at the top of the shore, Sunderland signing Brian Ebenezer Ajib Robby from Ajax, you've got another thing coming. It's Mr. Robby. At his press conference reveal, he should just pile in and just trash the table. He's knocking things over. With Noel Edmonds severed head in his head. Yeah, definitely. Luke, Jim, it was such a busy summer transfer window.

4:54The transfer window closed last night at 7pm, much earlier than the usual 11pm, which is quite useful for us. Very much the summer of clubs spending an inordinate amount of money, but also footballers, not so much angling for moves as dynamite fishing for them, really. I think that it wasn't actually supposed to close at seven, but the entire world ran out of money. Yeah. They're like, we're just going to be handing this money back now. Everyone's little internet banking calculator has run out of battery at the same time. They went over the limit. I'm not calling Barclays. I'm not calling them let's just close it now I'm not going into my I much prefer the 7pm close much prefer I don't know about you Jim

5:33Jim Campbell: absolutely but also the flip side of that is you've always had those deals that inexplicably seem to go over it because of deal shit deal shit deal shit deal shit or you know kind of late paperwork this or extension that so there was still loads of transfers there's a couple of them that still haven't been announced yet so they still overrun but it is welcome that the majority of them are done by 7pm isn't it It's just better. I very much like the 12pm transfer request, official transfer request, because obviously players throughout this summer have angled for moves, as I've said, in a rather abrupt and violent way, but none of them have gone so far as to see off their loyalty bonus by giving an official transfer request, which I think is very, very interesting.

6:19Jim Campbell: It's very formal, isn't it? I think players think it's really lame and they don't want to do it and it's a bit embarrassing. But I suppose they see themselves as having no other option other than to see how the contract she signed. Yeah, well, I've enjoyed this few weeks of pal clutching, merely surrounding one footballer in particular. Alexander Izak has joined Liverpool in a British record£125 million deal. Six-year contract at the club, and Liverpool have spent a hell of a lot of money this summer. Alexander Izak, Luke, is he going to play? Yeah, he's not kicked a competitive ball for months.

6:57Imagine that. Imagine he's forgotten how to do it. He's got so hit up on the move. He doesn't even remember why he wants to move. It's just a matter of principle for him now. And so he's going to push. Look, I think what's fascinating, I don't know if you mentioned it specifically there, but did they not break the transfer record twice?

7:16Jim Campbell: Yes, with Florian Verts as well. Verts as well. So, yeah, ultimately, it's interesting because you know Hugo Eketike for example and there's talk of him sort of you know perhaps adopting a slightly different position I get that but Eketike started well like he's been good and so I did wonder I kind of I was thinking to myself the other day I wonder if the longer this rumbles on and the more Eketike scores like it felt like every goal was basically another needle going into Isaac's Eketike voodoo doll but obviously how it has happened now they've strengthened in such an amazing way I mean if they can have a mix and a blend and get this going because obviously they haven't looked fluent so far it's a very very powerful powerful kind of tactic to just strengthen from a position of strength already I do wonder with these things and I'm not I'm clearly not saying that Izak isn't a great player and he was obviously the most talented exciting available striker around this summer.

8:22But I do think there's an element to this where it's like, he's automatically going to be brilliant straight away because we've decided he is and because we paid so much money for him and because we pursued him for so long. You absolutely spot on, Pete, to suggest that he's probably not had a proper pre-season. He's not played any competitive football yet. It's going to take him a little while to get up to speed. He's not going to check at Murphy. No, or even a Josh Murphy. Thank you very much indeed, who Portsmouth kept hold of. Fuck off, Leicester. stop sniffing around you're not welcome here stop sniffing around leave a bit of crisps everywhere what's that 10 million okay you can sniff around for 10 million anyway I'm digressing but I think it is worth pointing out that you know there are factors in here which suggest that it may not may not be amazing straight away it may not be a marriage made in heaven straight away this is very much the married at first sight transfer this is not this is not a reality show about a loving couple who've been together for 25 years.

9:21No, I mean, like, you've got to look at how kind of Isaac plays. He's a more generous footballer, great with his feet. A generous one? A generous footballer. Are you a generous broadcaster? I'm a generous lover, generous broadcaster, generous family member, I would say.

9:36Jim Campbell: You are, you spend money at prepaid bars. You are a naturally very generous man. I just want to, if I'm going to be thrown out from a bar, I want to know that I've spent the money to get that inebriated. But I mean, like, in the situation with Eketike, obviously Eketike has played in A2 at times in his past and done quite well in it. But they're very similar footballers. I mean, everyone talks about Eketike going to be spending a bit more time out on the left, but they're very similar footballers. And I know Morsala's going out on AFCON. I just feel like one player is going to find themselves out on the side of the pitch, really.

10:15I can't see this one It's competition for places though isn't it? It's like we do this Transfer Deadline Day show and Vish isn't selected Simple as that See you later Even if we have spent 107 million on him It fucking feels like it Jim what were you going to say? Sorry I'll cut you off

10:31Jim Campbell: Essentially I'm quite intrigued by the prospect of two such similar strikers possibly playing together Have we ever seen an example of that? Obviously in the 90s we were used to a 4-4-2 but often there was a there was a sort of complementary element to the two strikers. There was something different about each of them. These are, you know, very similar. Maybe. Maybe, but I suppose so. I guess they're both very, very, I think you can make an argument that the style of forward, the complete forward. Yeah, maybe York and Cole's the best example of it, actually. But I don't think it matters. I don't think it matters.

11:05I'll tell you why. Because York and Cole did have differences for sure, which we won't bore people about five minutes into this show but transfers but the reality surely is that Liverpool adopted this tactic which says first of all we're playing and expected to do well in all these different competitions secondly the games just never stop these days thirdly we're Liverpool one of the biggest clubs in the world and we've got the money and if a player's available and wants to come here we have to think very seriously about doing it and to an extent, the rest of it will sort itself out later because we should be able to have, like I say, a mix and a blend with all these different players, plus AFCON, as you already mentioned.

11:47Some people are saying that Gakpo is the one who's going to miss out because he's going to not play as much on the left. And as you mentioned there, Pete, Ekotika may do that. I suspect that Slott just backs himself to get a tune, get a tune out of them. But I just think it's set up for the pressure to be quite difficult for Ezek because of when you behave in the way that he's behaved. I'm trying to avoid judging him morally because I don't think it's right to do so. I don't know the situation and it's a short career and all the rest of it. Pete, you'll have your own take on it as a Newcastle United fan.

12:18So I'm not judging him morally. I hate myself, I like it. Yeah, well you get a lot of confusing stick these days, particularly on YouTube. A lot of people on YouTube seem to think you're secretly a Sunderland fan. Yeah, because I was slightly positive about their fan base. Yeah, which is by the way, you're doing yourself no favours with that. But anyway, the point I just wanted to make was that it's not a moral judgement but when he behaves in a way that he behaves, it's so badly that he wants this move so desperately that it's a scorched-earth strategy. What you're actually doing is inviting a lot of pressure on yourself.

12:48And if you don't hit the straps and hit the ground running in that new Liverpool shirt, and it's a heavy shirt, you know, games are televised all the time, blah, blah, blah. It's a different level of scrutiny based on your own behaviour. So he needs to be big enough and strong-shouldered enough, broad-shouldered enough to sustain that. And if he doesn't, we've seen what can happen. Players can go on droughts and stuff. So I'm not saying that will happen. I'm just saying it's something to watch with quite a lot of fascination, really. Yeah, I mean, his kind of all-round game was such a more important thing for Newcastle United because they weren't sort of blessed with forward players, with scale and verve, and as I said, generosity at the time that he's at the club.

13:31So for Liverpool, just goals are going to be way more important for him. And like you said, if he didn't hit his straps, you may find that the headlines are a little bit heavy on him. For Newcastle, you sort of think that they've tried, I think they assume because they had a load of money, that they are a higher sort of level of club and not a selling club, not a stepping stone club. But this transfer window has sort of told them that they kind of are. and most players use Newcastle United as a place to get a better move, Jim.

14:07Jim Campbell: Isn't it the case that it's essentially related to wages? The Newcastle are in a position where they can't really pay the same as Liverpool and the same as Man City and clubs like that. So they've become vulnerable to that in this particular situation. I think it might be, it's probably obviously a very sad and depressing thing to lose Ezek in that way. But if you look at the business they've done coming in the other way, I think there's an argument that they're actually better off. I think the squad is probably stronger now. Obviously, a lot of that has to do with how Nick Voltermaid does. But I think, actually, there is an argument that it's a stronger squad this year than it was last season.

14:47Jim Campbell: I really do. Yeah, all round, you'd say, they've sort of had a lot of transfer targets sort of turn them down. and it's probably a good time to move on to Newcastle United's signing of Jan Wisser. You're definitely sure we haven't had enough Colum inches and exposure and talk about Isak. Are you sure? You want to move on? It's a big move. He's a cult classic, not bestseller, is he? You're definitely sure we've exhausted the Isak chat as a football broadcasting community. He's a big decision, Pete. You want to move on? There's no going back now. Let's find warmer climbs in Jan Wisser. Let's fucking take it round the back of the fucking stable and slot it forever.

15:24That's a story. I agree. Can't be bothered, yeah. Did you see the Newcastle United? I'm not, I'm back. The Newcastle United statement, but just like literally, a man has been signed by another football club for a record fee. It was up there. It was right up there with Ruben Amarim's programme notes for the Burnley game following that Grimsby defeat. I don't know if you saw that, which was basically, it was normally they're two pages long. It was basically him just saying, sorry about that.

15:51Jim Campbell: We'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again. can't guarantee it though PS if my kids are reading this fucking I hate you oh yeah I forgot about his kids yeah I mean like he won them a goddamn cup their first cup in decades oh dear yeah it doesn't matter let's move on now though let's move on you've got a new you've got a new kid in town we've got a new kid in town the new number 9 at Newcastle United he drove there himself he drove there himself Johan Wisser he drove there himself that's all anyone talked about this transfer obviously it's a bit bubbling not really bubbling a man drove a car a man drove a car to Newcastle all the way up the M1 is it the M1 people do M yes M1 yeah most of the way yeah and A19 if you want to see Mum Adonilson and Dad Adonilson you don't want to that's important stuff because that's what the ramble brings you know people talking about him driving himself don't just give you the route exactly yeah yeah drive yourself through Middlesbrough I'm going to see where the inspiration for Blade Runner was as he comes over the bridge.

16:55Yeah, Middlesbrough. Famously Ridley Scott, yeah. Yeah, Ridley Scott. He used to go to the college at the top of my street. So there we go. Yes, Ewan Wisser has left Brentford to join Newcastle in a£55 million deal. He's been given the new number nine. For me, he's not that number nine-y, and I think Nick Voltemada would have been a better choice because he's massive and he's number nine-y.

17:17Jim Campbell: Yeah, but Wisser is very good actually as a central striker and as a wide forward piece. He's really adept in both of those positions, which is kind of why I look at Newcastle squad and think that they might be a bit better off now because he's got that versatility in there. He serves that dual purpose where if Baltermaid isn't available for whatever reason or needs to be rested, then you can put Wisser in there and you're still going to be playing to a very, very high standard. I think it's a great signing. And it's one that had to happen now, I think, because of his age as well. And he'll be so, so determined.

17:50Jim Campbell: He will be absolutely loving life in the Champions League. Look, Isaac Shuley is irreplaceable, but the strikers and forward players, they've sort of brought in pretty decent consolation, pretty decent business all told. Yeah, I haven't seen Volta Marder play a huge amount. He's clearly an exciting young player. I think he's 23 now, actually. He's not that young, but young enough. and he's massive, which, you know... Dresses very new metal. Yeah, and he's got a great style about him, which I think could lend himself more towards a proper cult hero status at Newcastle. Wiss is a good player. We've seen it.

18:25We know what he can do. He hasn't had a huge amount of prolific goal-scoring seasons under his belt for his age. But, I mean, I wonder if that matters these days. I mean, I kind of thought that a bit about Eketike and then he just hit the ground running, like he was just flying. So I think the most important thing in this is you can, and this is a bit of tough love to Newcastle fans from a neutral here. You can talk about how irreplaceable Izak is. You can talk about how good he is. You can talk about how desperate you are for him to stay, but he doesn't want to be there. And I know it's the hardest thing in the world to understand that, but you can't make him love you, right?

19:01You have to accept it at some point and say that the idea of Izak playing for Newcastle and doing really well is just an idea now. Obviously, clearly it's just an idea now because he's moved, but it has been just an idea for the last four or five weeks when he's been set on leaving. And it's easy to say, much harder to do, and I accept that. But once a player has mentally moved beyond you, the best thing you can do is draw a line under it, you know, tell him he never loved him anyway, tell him that his sex was terrible, write a really bitchy Instagram post about him, or a bed sheet. And fucking move on, sister.

19:35Move on.

19:36Jim Campbell: If I may briefly drag it back to Nick Valtemada, sisters, there is a chance that his dress sense will make Anthony Gordon start dressing weird again. So that's something we can all look forward to as well. Gordon's got a bit of pedigree in this area, hasn't he? He sort of tried to dominate Calvin Lew in it and it didn't go particularly well. I'm worried it might lead him astray a little bit too. It'd be like me. it's like when you rock up to the studio Pete in a real big fish slash no use for a name t-shirt, it works if I do that, people are going to stage an intervention probably and call my wife especially if you're also wearing tartan trousers also Anthony Gordon's got plenty of time to go pop himself down to Urban Outfitters or whatever because he's on a band he's on a band he's on a threeer tour Can't remember.

20:31Can't remember. Well, elsewhere, I mean, we could have mentioned this earlier on, but Mark Gay's move to Liverpool, it did not happen at the last minute. Mark Gay was kind of open to offers pretty much most of the summer months to go somewhere. He seemed very keen on Liverpool for obvious reasons, and Liverpool really needed him. It has to be said, Virgil van Dijk has not started the season very well, but an agreement to sign him had been reached on deadline day. Personal terms on a five-year contract in 2030 were also in place. But Gaze moved to Liverpool hinged on Igor Julio joining Crystal Palace and Brighton but he opted to join West Ham after concerns over his playing time.

21:14Imagine choosing to go to West Ham. That's wild. You'll get some game time, lad, but you're not going to enjoy it. Yeah, you'll get abused. You can go to Palace and not play or you can go to West Ham and have a shit-old time. It's like Jigsaw's kind of options that he gives you in the film Saw. Do you want hypodermic syringes in your neck, or do you want to just set yourself on fire? If you want to move to Crystal Palace, you're going to have to cut the deal sheet out of Mark Gay's stomach. Deal sheets? There's a lot of chat about deal sheets. I know. That's all they talk about on Sky Sports News.

21:45What's a deal sheet, Luke? Do you know what a deal sheet is? I think we can kind of work it out. It's quite a descriptive term for it. When I was doing one of my favourite hobbies last night, which is texting Andy Brassall trying to put him off when he's on the telly, I realised that there's loads of talk of deal sheets. That's all they ever talk about. It's a crazy new phrase that's just come in to the vernacular for no reason. But on the gay thing, I do want to just have a quick say on this because a lot of people are making the equivalence between the way Gayhi has apparently behaved at Palace to try and force his move in the way Izak's behaved.

22:24And I'm not casting aspersions on either player's character, as I've said, particularly not Mark Gay's character at this point because I obviously don't know him and that's fine. But what's worth remembering is that Gay's played an absolute blinder whatever happens because he's out of contract in the summer. So in actual fact, there's no real reason at all for him to force a move, which is a terrible look for him. It would be really bad optics because in four months, He can sign a pre-contract agreement at Liverpool, for example. There'll be no fee, and therefore he can earn shitloads more money anyway.

22:57So in actual fact, Mark Gahey hasn't behaved in that way, not necessarily because he didn't want to. I'm not saying he did or he didn't, but he just simply doesn't have to, and the situations are very different. So the fact that he's not got his move is kind of interesting for the reasons you've said, and obviously he would be a really, really, you know, big signing for Liverpool. and I think there are reasons outside of the centre-back pair and why Canate who was better against Arsenal and Van Dijk haven't been right at their top level and it's probably not time to talk about this now but there's a lot of reasons for it I think but they clearly wanted Gahey for a long time and they clearly think he can improve them and I totally see why but Gahey's apparent behaviour or non-behaviour here is not the point it completely misses the point

23:43Jim Campbell: There's also a mitigating circumstance with Igor Julio as well which is, it simply, had Palace been able to get a replacement in in time, as Newcastle managed to do, then it would have happened. So it's not quite as simple as that comparison, is it really? And it's a World Cup, yeah, and he may not play every match in Liverpool. So everything kind of has fallen into his lap a little bit. And, you know, just a Palace is a lovely blinder. Also, doesn't it only seem fair that Liverpool should have a little bit of a question mark over their defence if they're going to have that attack just for the rest of us there's some sort of hope yeah it's Newcastle United it's Keegan's Newcastle unbelievable before Liverpool's game against Arsenal on Sunday did you see that they were showing flushed away in the concourse at Anfield I don't get this I don't understand this it's a film about a pampered rat named Roddy St James who's flushed down the toilet thank you for explaining the joke to me I didn't understand the relevance I was like this is a bit random I get it I get it very delightfully petty it's called St James I didn't realise that He gets thrust down the toilet in his Kensington apartment by a sewer rat named Sid and befriends a scavenger named Rita Malone in order to get back home while evading a sinister toad and his hench rats.

24:58That is a dig, isn't it? I don't think Alex Izak wants to go back home or Trent. Trent might do. Trent might do. Yeah, I think he's having a great time in the last few matches. But it is an interesting little casting decision in the film Flushed Away. Hugh Jackman, Shane Ritchie, John Motson. What a dinner party. Wow. John Wilson. All three of them. The football connection. Do you know what? Can I just intervene here with a very, very quick, not even a full anecdote about Shane Ritchie. Okay, yeah, good. So when I first worked at Capital Radio, Pete, do you remember we had that big charity day for the victims of the tsunami?

25:32I've got your kids. Oh, right, right. Nothing to do with the kids, Pete. Stop saying that. No, there's one called Cash for Kids or something. No, this one was to do with the Boxing Day tsunami. Right. And because I was just like an assistant, I had to run around making tea for everyone and everything. and there was loads and loads of really famous people there. Like, honestly, it was mad. And Shane Ritchie, by the sounds of things. Well, and do you know what? The only one who had, like, the absolute, like, room-filling charisma that had everyone, like, in titters was the lad Ritchie. I could see that.

26:02He was working. I've never seen someone to this day, and I include you in this, Jim Campbell, work a room as well as Shane Ritchie. It was incredible. So good luck to him. yeah fair do he's not been cancelled has he I haven't been checking is it okay for me to align myself with Richie in 2025 you can be part of the Richie I'll Wikipedia it in a minute while you're doing the break and then I'll just double check I mean we've had like sort of funny DJs before haven't we who've kind of chosen interesting things to play pre and sort of you know half time at football match the Portland Timbers DJ famously used to play the football ramble theme Peter Meduzzi at Arsenal doing the WWE themes and stuff.

26:44So I think this could be the next sort of thread for funny things to do. The concourse televisions. Let's get some porno on there or something.

26:52Jim Campbell: That did not take long to descend into its lowest possible point, did it? Correct. Oh, by the way, guys, I think we're going to have to edit out the Shane Ritchie stuff because apparently back in the 90s, he was giving away free tickets for Pondins to Ticket House and then selling them on for a profit. Oh, come on. That is the lowest of the lowest. It was the footballer who did that. Is it Dwight Gale? Robbie Earl. Robbie Earl, yeah. Robbie Earl, yeah. For some reason, Robbie Earl and Dwight Gale in my head, the names are quite similar. Dwight Gale? Not related in any way. They've just got similar names and I always think Dwight Gale when I'm in Robbie Earl.

27:26Come on, let's have a break because I want to talk about Mr. Brobby. All right, let's get out of here. We'll be back in a second with Donna Romer and Brobby. Possibly not Brobby.

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30:22That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com and use code audio.

30:30Welcome back to the Football Rambles. Gianluigi Donnarumma has joined Manchester City for£26 million. He has agreed a five-year deal plus the option of a further year. We'll see how those legal tanglings sort of pan out on that one. But yeah. Say it in an Italian accent properly. Do it like a proper, like Dolmio guy. Go on. What? Is this an edit point? No. Is it? Fuck. Do it. Gianluigi Donnarumma. Nice. Just like a PSG. are you stomach?

31:06Disgraceful. I love the quality of broadcasting where I suggest something and you just go it's just an edit point.

31:12Jim Campbell: And it's just an accent as well. Just an accent. That's what you get when I host. I'm not really sure what's real and what's not. This is The Athletic. They all do that when they say the names. Yes, this is an interesting signing. I know he's been on a lot of money obviously in the PSG set up because that's how they operate and have operated for a long time but you'd think that Man United would have had a crack at him. Either him or Martinez. Do you know, they had a crack at Martinez. I mean, let's be fair. Marco Bizot. Bizot. Bizot. I think this is one in the eye for the nerds. And I'll tell you why.

31:44Because any time any normal football fan, and I include myself in that to an extent, praise Donnarumma, you get all these absolute nerds, the pen pushers, the dweebs that have taken over football. The Poindexters. Actually, the Poindexters. The Shardstacks.

32:01Jim Campbell: The bureaucrats down at City Hall. Yeah. The Brussels bureaucrats saying, actually, he's not that good with his feet. And he's very, very poor with his bit ball at his feet. And he's not that good at the goalkeeper. And I'll tell you what's mudding the eye for them. Because the man who is the human totem pole for playing out from the back is, of course, Pep Guardiola. And he wants him. Can you explain that, nerds? Well, now we've come to a point where Pep Guardiola is the manager of a team who are facing shots for like the first time in his career. So he's like, yeah. I don't think Edison was all that good, to be honest.

32:46I didn't even know the other team were allowed to do that. Get me Donna Rimmer on the phone. And to be honest, like Manchester City for the longest time have been smashing it up the field anywhere. People have kind of missed out on that. I mean, like you said, people talk about him, Donnarumma, not being quite that good with his feet. But surely that comes in two flavours. There's delivery, but there's also big game temperament as well. He might not have the first intro. He also makes saves like fucking Thanos. He makes that rages save. It's absolutely unbelievable to save him. He's unfasible.

33:14Look, I've said this before and I've got flack for it, and I can't be shaken from this opinion. And Jim, feel free to shout me down if you want, right? I think Alisson is possibly the best keeper I've seen. I've said this before. I just think he's amazing on his day, right? And people fucking don't care. Scott Sedders? He's just amazing. He's brilliant all-rounder. I just think his presence is ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't think I've ever seen a keeper make some of the saves that Donnarumma makes. And I think if you naturally accept that sport gets better, sprinters get faster, records get broken, and players just improve for loads of different reasons, Donnarumma, I feel like I've seen him make saves that I'm not sure any other keepers could make.

33:57Maybe that's just the most important thing. And also, Guardiola, Jim, doesn't he? He makes decisions about players and then they're just gone, aren't they? That's that.

34:04Jim Campbell: And I think he's obviously done that already. He didn't do it quite so much last season where all of his players just absolutely fell off. I just think once he decides on a player that he doesn't want him anymore, particularly a keeper, we saw it with Joe Hart, didn't we? It's done. And we've seen it with James Trafford, apparently, as well. But yeah, there is something about Donnarumma, isn't there that's very very pleasingly kind of old school in the aesthetic of this absolutely massive bloke with really long cephalopod arms flying through the air smacking a ball away quite often his saves are as aesthetically pleasing as a goal from a million miles out I also don't I remember him making a save in the Champions League last season I can't remember who it was against but it was an absolute rocket I've never seen the ball struck harder than that and he gets down to it for a bloke who's about eight foot tall and by the way he looks about 50 which makes it even more interesting 26 he doesn't feel he feels like 34 you know what I mean that's because he broke into the AC Milan first team when he was 16 years old so he's been around for a decade 74 Italy caps 26 I thought you were going to say debut in 74 there I was like yeah I can believe it but anyway he makes this save and he gets such a strong hand and wrist on it and it took me a while to even process he'd saved it so to see that every week and what it might be what we might be kind of guilty of here guys is some of the stuff when I used to be on the continent sometimes you'd make a point and Andy or James would be like oh well yeah but you don't really watch him that often which is true and I think if we get exposure to him every single week maybe our opinion of him will kind of you know quieten down a little bit maybe maybe you'll keep tripping over the ball we'll be like oh actually yeah yeah I feel like James Trufford.

35:51Jim Campbell: He's really bad with this. What a... James Trufford, baptism of fire. What a fucking three months he's had, right? Binned off of City, right? He's going to go somewhere else. City exercise their option and get him back. He gets thrown right in the mix. Gives away like an absolute comedy goal at one point, right? And now he's turned up to training this morning probably. Right now, as we're recording this, and Donnarumma's shadow is just following him like a rain cloud wherever he goes. literally the worst person in the world who could be in front of you yeah for so many different reasons completely agree yeah it's been a weird sort of close season for keepers I will sort of stress the Man United side of things though they did need help there and I don't understand why they've not brought anyone in there's no way they've got the money though he does look like a bit like a simple farm boy but he's not that stupid he ain't going to the United it doesn't matter about the money As soon as one club that's not an absolute laughingstock wants you, you're not going to go to United, are you?

36:55Jim Campbell: And United signed a Belgian goalkeeper called Semmy Lemons, who looks a little bit like Thibaut Courtois, and enough to make me think they might have been tricked again. OK, nice. I like that, yeah. Nice. Well, I'll have my Manchester United time. Thank you very much. Anthony and Rasmus Hoyland have both left Manchester United for Real Betis and Napoli, respectively. It's a big loss in funds, you would say, for Manchester United. A lot of money stumped up for Anthony back in 2022 from Ajax. Very, very short period of time to lose that amount. But a£38 million obligation to buy clause has been included in the deal for Erasmus Hoyland.

37:31Even for a Man United player leaving on lawn, Luke, I have to say Erasmus Hoyland, I think he's going to have an incredible season. Denmark have got an easy World Cup group. You heard me, Scotland. And he's just going to have the best World Cup and he's going to become a different footballer at where he's ended up. And it's going to be a tale of solar's time you leave Man United you have a bloody lovely time specifically in Italy oh he's going to be he's clearly going to be absolutely outstanding in every department because that's how football is with Man United now that's how Man United is

38:00Jim Campbell: Kevin De Bruyne and Ballon d 'Or candidate Scott McTominay just serving things up to him on a plate he's going to have a brilliant time yeah learning from Romelu lovely I feel like on the taking the money hit Pete I think you've just got a it comes to time when you've just got to cut your losses on something right you know you know when you know they've made an investment a huge amount of money they basically only did it because Man City got a Scandinavian striker that looked like that and they wanted one as well and they I mean particularly when it comes to Anthony for example they just have to just say look we've got to draw a line we've got to move on they also have to get some money in the door don't they because they want to do other business and stuff like that and I think that's just the nature of football these days Man United are a laughing stock for those different reasons but I don't think anyone would necessarily begrudge them moving on these types of players.

38:53I mean, I think they've actually done fairly well given the relative reputation of these players, given how their performances have been. I think it's actually all right business for them. I do. You're never, ever, ever in a million years going to get the money back you paid for them. This is never going to happen. Because the only other people who pay, the only people who pay that amount of money for that kind of player is Man United. They can't say it to themselves. They can't go to Chelsea. You know? Sell your women's club, your women's team. The, I mean, people talking about the EZAC deal, like, they sort of said, oh, 125 million, that's a lot of money, that's a market rate for a striker who's had such a good season as he's had.

39:31I mean, they signed him for like 60 million, so it's not, it's not an embarrassment of riches that they, so you've got to remember this amount of money, yeah, that sort of going into the club, you're going to be losing at the end of it. Elsewhere, Tottenham have agreed a season-long loan for PSG's Renald Kulomani. Kulomani scored eight goals in 16-0, I gave us for Juventus in the second half of last season. Very promising footballer. It's their fourth senior signing of the summer. They had Kudus in, Polini, Xavi Simons. And the sort of headlines, obviously, that they missed out on certain players like Eze.

40:03But it's been a really positive sort of summer window for Tottenham. And they look a hell of a lot better under Thomas Frank.

40:10Jim Campbell: Yeah, I think they've actually had a really, really good window here. And I think there's an argument that of all those attacking fielders mentioned, Ezra and Gibbs one included, given his age in particular, that Xavi Siemens has got the potential to be the best of all of them. I don't think they'll care about the players they've missed out on now based on the quality of him in particular. But also Kylo Mawani is a really exciting player to come in and provide competition in a position where they do need it. Richarlison has played well this season, but he has toiled a little bit. He is a bit of a imperfect player in a lot of ways.

40:43Jim Campbell: I think I think Kali Mouane just gives you something different there as well. And I believe he's also fairly effective as a wide player too. So they've really, really bolstered their attacking options there. And obviously we've spoken quite a lot about Polina and how they already look a bit more kind of defensively solid than they did under Ange Postercoglu with the same personnel. So I think they have made a huge improvement with not actually that many signings there. They've had a really good window. Spurs may have had a better transfer window in recent years. but I can't think of when they have.

41:16No. Because it's the turn. I mean, missing out on Gibbs-White and Eze, particularly the Eze thing in the circumstances, was a blow. But Jim's spot on there. I think, you know, Kudus, Pelinha, Simmons, and Colin Mouane at Spurs. I mean, Spurs are a good team, right? They're better than they showed last season. The manager was clearly an issue. They've obviously now got Champions League football because they won the Europa League, which gives them a hand in attracting these players. But that, I mean, that is, if you said to a Spurs fan, if you said to anyone at the start of the window, Spurs are going to sign these four players, you would be saying, wow, you know?

41:52So you've got to give them the credit. I also think, I know there's no option to, I don't think there's an option to buy for Colin Mwani, but I also think that, you know, linking it back to what we were just talking about in Man United, loaning players in this way to start with is probably the best way to do business. Because if you can build an option in there, it's just a try before you buy right it's just like putting a probation period in an employee's contract right you know what they're going to be like you're pretty much there with them aren't you yeah and I think they've done I think they've done an absolutely sensational window and I'm saying that off the back of their frankly appalling performance against Bournemouth at the weekend yeah we let everyone down there it's a great way to let your fans forget about that fucking first half tell me trust me I might just sort of going back to basics with the Mwani's like six foot two most teams this window have signed big strikers yeah big unit yeah and are big boys back big boys are back fuck you short kings

42:54Jim Campbell: I think their presence speaks for itself mate they're absolutely back yeah going back to basics with the old management team all I would just say is the only thing I could say on the other side of the ledger on the Spurs business and talking about Jim's point with Simmons versus Eze and Gibbs White clearly in the case of Simmons and Colin Mwani you've got a question mark there over the adjustment to the Premier League factor, right? And I'm only saying that because Matisse Tell who looked like one of the best young players around has struggled. Yeah, I think their age factors in though, right?

43:25Jim Campbell: They're both at an age where they're experienced yet they still have a lot of their careers in front of them which is ideal. Totally. I'm not denigrating it. I think, like I said, I think it's the best piece I think it's the best window they've had I don't know, ever but for a very, very long time. Another team that I think have probably signed quite well quite responsibly, quite intelligently, but quite late, has to be said, are Aston Villa. They've signed Jadon Sancho on lawn and perhaps, and definitely more importantly, they've signed Harvey Elliott from Liverpool. Liverpool really probably didn't want to sell that footballer at the age bracket that he is and obviously being a homegrown player and all that stuff.

44:00They've inserted a buyback clause with Harvey Elliott's contract with Villa, so that's interesting. They clearly value him as an individual. but what a great signing quite late on Luke Harvey yeah and it is he desperately needed a move just because of circumstances he needs no criticism yeah no criticism of him no criticism of Liverpool just one of those situations where given the summer that he had he has to play and Villa needs someone clearly based on their start they've had this season and Sancho what do we know about Sancho I mean at this point not much clearly got a very high ceiling clearly a really good player on his day hasn't shown what he can do for a long time now.

44:41And so he needs to, at some point, you know, you try and restart the engine over and over again, you know, it doesn't start after a while. You need to have a look under the bonnet. Yeah. Yeah. And it wouldn't be me looking under the bonnet because I'm absolutely clueless. I'll be driving down to the quick fit at the bottom of the road. Oh, all right, money. I know, I know, I know. But can I, Jim, before I hand over to you, can I just say one quick thing? I fear for Villa. I fear for them now. And I'll tell you why. because if you look at Unai Emery's career, you're pretty much at the exact inflection point when shit starts to go wrong and he starts to move on.

45:16He's never been a manager at a club for longer than what? I think it might even be, you'd have to look it up, it might even be that he's now been at Villa longer than he's been anywhere else. He was at Sevilla for a long while, about around the same amount of time. But this is the time when it starts to go a bit wrong. And if you look at that interview he gave, that biz-op, bizarre, biz-op thing, you wonder whether the writers on the wall particularly given the start they had they were abject against Palace at home Palace are a good away side but Villa's whole reputation under Emery has been built on how good they are at home and so to me Elliott might be going into the fire there and he's going to have a lot of pressure on him and he needs to replicate that form but I agree he totally needed a move and Villa's a big club and it's a great landing spot for him in theory but who knows what's going to happen there Jim

46:03Jim Campbell: Yeah I mean you're absolutely right this is very much the point where it tends to go stale for Unai Emery. Obviously, every situation is different, so this might just be a poor start. They've got fresh players in there now. But in the best-case scenario, he's a very good manager when it comes to rehabilitating players. And I think it's very clear, isn't it, that Jadon Sancho needs an individual who is going to put a lot of time into him and work out whatever it is he needs to get himself back into the form that we've seen at Dortmund. And he's possibly the ideal candidate for that. another interesting thing with Villa is we're all a huge fan of the oh I didn't realise he'd gone there transfer from transfer deadline day particularly ones when they're as chaotic as this and recently Victor Lindelof signed for Villa on the free lovely under the radar wasn't it that's in that category for sure it's a nice little Premier League stalwart signing really he's got a lot of experience you know you're not signing for the championship or Italy or something it's not unproven we kind of know everything we need to know about Victor Lindelof I kind of like that signing I think it's probably quite underwhelming if you support Villa, though, isn't it?

47:07Yeah, but that's fine. Not if you know for sure and you remind yourself that because he was at May United, he's playing about 20 % of his ability. Yes. Good point. Very good point. People move on. They move away from Manchester United, get rehabilitated, and then they go to Barcelona. He's going to be like the reincarnation. Actually, no, he's not dead, is he? He's had the reincarnation of prime John Terry. It's a body, isn't there? It's a body. Emery loves a signing and he absolutely loves a signing in a position where he's already got players. Yeah. Well, he's just a guy who likes project cars, doesn't he?

47:43He's just a big guy. He's just got his house. Imagine his drive-by in his garage. Yeah, his house is just covered, like his entire front sort of garden is just covered in old mini-metros and stuff. Just in various states. You're saying Lindelof's a mini-metro? He's a mini-metro. He's a mini-metro in bits. I'm not driving a mini-metro, Lind. All right, we'll be back in just a moment with more unbelievable transfer moves.

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49:49Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Chelsea have confirmed a deal, which is saying Nicholas Jackson loaned to Bayern Munich with an obligation to buy. Luke Moore, I think you were saying on the WhatsApp yesterday, Chelsea are an unbelievable shifter of man meat. They are, but I have to defer to Jim because Jim is the official Nicholas Jackson correspondent. Right, okay, nice. He's like the Kate Adie of Nicholas Jackson. I'm Nicola Jackson, the Olympian and the Olympic boxer. Marcus is Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson, yeah, yeah. We've all got a little Jackson specialisation in there. I'm Latoya Jackson, who for a while was rumoured to be Michael Jackson.

50:29She was, yeah.

50:30Jim Campbell: She also released an album of covers called He's My Brother. nice that's me quite something yeah I think because I mentioned once or twice that Nicholas Jackson makes quite a high number of runs in behind defenders that if he could just be slightly better at finishing his output would be quite drastically better I am now the Nicholas Jackson correspondent I take that on with pride you're moving to Munich aren't you I am yeah yeah it's just easier for me to be there it makes more sense like Harry Kane's brother yeah you are you're the Charlie Kane you're the Charlie Kane Jim Jackson. Jim Jackson.

51:05Jim Campbell: Draw a line on that or under that. Yeah, it's an amazing fee. It's an absolutely amazing fee. The loan fee is something like 15 million and then the whole fee will be something like 70 million. As an Arsenal fan, you must be raging. It's unbelievable. We've loaned Alexander Zinchenko for a year when he's only got a year left on his contract. Obviously, it's because he's on massive wages, but it's still like, I think other teams might do better than that. Chelsea would have sold Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain for 400 million. Yeah, exactly. To themselves, somehow. And then sold him back to us. But yeah, it's an amazing amount of money.

51:41Jim Campbell: It makes me wonder, because it seems unusual that a Bundesliga club, even Bayern Munich, would spend this much on a backup striker. Is he the succession plan for Harry Kane? It's so much money. I mean, I don't really know. I mean, I should have listened more closely to Andy Brassel on Sky Sports News last night because he probably covered it. too busy texting him but you know me I glaze over the way that they've been able to convince them to as Jim's just alluded to like part with this amount of cash for that player is kind of extraordinary really because what you sometimes find with the Premier League and I may not have suffered from this badly is that because Premier League is such a cash cow they bring players in for such big money on such big wages the players aren't considering realistically going somewhere because they're not going to take such a big pay cut.

52:33Now Munich's probably an exception to that because they're such a big club I suppose. But you're right to say it like it's kind of an extraordinary deal given that is it an obligation to buy or is it an option? With an obligation to buy yeah. Right so yeah that's just wild man.

52:47Jim Campbell: Jackson is also on better terms than the ones they negotiated before the Liam de Lapp. I saw that. So he's come out of it really well as well. And the obviously as a Sunderland. They probably had Liam to lap doing the sums, Jim. That's why it came out so well. Yeah, well, maybe that's it. And also, we know they've got a lot of hypnotists, so they're probably taking them along to meetings and getting that much money out of clubs. Yeah. But yeah, as a Sunderland aficionado, Pete, you'll probably be quite sad that they recalled Mark Goyew, I think that's how you pronounce that, from his loan on Sunderland to replace Jackson.

53:19Jim Campbell: So that's mugged them off on deadline day. That's annoying. Because Chelsea's kind of lawn players basically just feathered everyone's nests. And when they start, losing players that they have to bring people back. It's a different Chelsea that I don't really understand. I don't like it. I just don't like it. Lads, lads, lads, he's out of a job. Eric Ten Hag has gone and by Leverkusen. Two games of the season. They're not usually this so aggressive, the German clubs. But yeah, I mean, he's had a stinker, really. Highlights from his time at Leverkusen include a 5-1 loss to Flamengo's under-20s in pre-season, after which he said, I don't give a shit about results in pre-season.

53:57Well, the clubs certainly do. Granit Xhaka was told he wasn't to be allowed to leave, only for him to leave for Sunderland days later, despite being told by the club's hierarchy that they were going to let him leave anyway. It's all very confusing there, but what isn't confusing is that Eric Ten Hag, Luke, is out of a job once more. Andy Brassel called Eric Ten Hag's tenure at Leverkusen a historic failure. Yeah, and the captain of Leverkusen said they were living in misery or something, didn't they?

54:24Jim Campbell: Yeah, he did. Robert Andrick. Quite the impact. He's got a bit of rep in Europe, and he's smashed it into the floor again. One thing we can all agree, that when players leave May United, they seem to be much better. But when managers leave, they seem to be a lot worse. Yeah, he is like Kevin Tenkegan at this point. He's like the most hapless man in Europe. The one thing that Brasel said, which I found fascinating, was when he came out, pretend hard this was, he was in a press conference, and he was asked a pretty easy-to-flat-bat-away question. about Granit Xhaka. He then delivered an answer which was not only completely at odds with the club's policy with the fact that they were going to sell him and they wanted to get his wages off the bill and they knew they could get money for him and blah, blah, blah because of the way that Ten Hag plays and all the rest of it.

55:13He then just delivered a line in the press conference in public in front of the country's press which was completely at odds with what he'd agreed in the meeting with his bosses two days before. Wow. And they were completely you blindsided by it. So, again, this is not what we said. This is not what you're supposed to be saying. What's going on? And what I love about that is that, like, you can have owners and sporting directors and all these people pulling the strings, but they don't ever really give press conferences or talk about policy. You have to rely on your manager, who also becomes like a figurehead and a spokesman for the club, to not be like a totally rogue agent.

55:48So, they must have been sitting there, like, raging, like, fuming in the background. And so, I think it's been as much about his conduct as it has been the performances and the reason you have to come down on that side of things is because there just haven't been enough games for him people to say whether he's good or not yeah can I also add though sorry Jim just very quickly Leverkusen have sold a lot of players and he's coming after Alonso being historically good so you can talk about historic failures and I get why Andy said that but he was also to be fair to him and he's not helped himself but he was coming in yeah it's a really difficult situation

56:23Jim Campbell: did you see the circumstances of the game that was the final and also second draw that broke the Camels back against Werder Bremen 3-1 up, Werder Bremen are down to 10 men they're not a good team they might struggle this season Werder Bremen managed to get it back to 3-0 right in the last minute but the funny thing about it is that one of Leverkusen's goals was a penalty and Patrick Schick is the designated taker so as he's kind of getting ready to take the penalty Ezekiel Palacios wants to take it, right? So they're having a bit of a ding-dong about it. And then up comes Captain Robert Andrick.

56:58Jim Campbell: So he grabs the ball, gives it to Schick, and then Palacios kicks it away. And they've got this, like, farcical situation where it's taken them ages to decide who's even going to take the penalty. They're having a row about it. And after the game, Ten Hag said, it was very clear who the penalty takers were, and they simply didn't implement that. He's got no authority at all. It's Donald Trump outside the Oval Office. They don't know what the fuck they're doing. Oh, fantastic. Where does he go next, Ten Hag? Where does he go? The answer is obviously Turkey. It's Turkey. Always Turkey. He's breaking records.

57:34He's breaking records. Where would you get the seeds from? I don't know. Seeds. Seeds. How do you think that works? You don't know how it works. It's called seeding, isn't it? They're not watering people's heads. No, I know. But the seeding is they take the seeds. out of the ground at the back of the head and they put it at the front of the head. Oh no, we put grass in. Oh no! He's a head's drilling now. Yeah, and that's gone yellow because it's been very dry this summer. Historically dry. Jamie Vardy, gentleman, Ramble favourite and a man seeing out the last couple of years of his career at Serie A club, Cremonese.

58:13Vardy signed for the club and then instantly signed a tattoo of his own face on a fan's leg. that's a hepatitis risk, surely. I mean, how has he had such a big impact so quickly? Yeah. Well, I think if you're a fan of that club, you would be like looking at him coming in. It's going to be fun. It's going to be frenetic. And he's probably going to score a hat full of goals in quite leggy Serie A, you would say.

58:35Jim Campbell: I don't know. He's 38. I hope he scores a hat full of goals. But I think it's going to be a sort of... This is going to be a ramble trope. This is going to be a ramble trope. He's going to be absolutely knocking them in for fun. And Marcus, as an ex-England squad player, he can't resist talking about it. So it's going to be every week. It's going to be like Phil Neville. I think it's how the stars, it's written in the stars. You know, I mean, Jamie Vardy was always going to end up at the end of his career, given his cultural reputation, at the home of famous Roman poet Marcus Furius Bibiculus.

59:10We all agree. We all knew that was going to happen. We all said that. He's the natural heir to that. By the way, also, Cremona is the home or the birthplace, I believe, of the late, great Luca Vialli as well. Oh, lovely. A great striker, a lovely, lovely head striker in his early days, but a bit of a legend as well. So maybe Vialli can get in there and score some goals to the memory of the great Luca Vialli. I will never get tired of old English players going to Serie A and having a lovely time and becoming cult heroes I'd like a sort of England or Britain British best 11 I think in the next 10 years I don't think he's quite going to take to it the same way McTominay has but we'll see

59:57Jim Campbell: I'll be very surprised if it's formalised to that degree as well I fancy it also I know that Cremona is in the north of Italy and it's a very different part of the country, but just for the equivalency, you know, McTominay's embraced Naples' life, right, in many different ways. If that was Vardy, he'd be dressed all in black on a moped, stealing people's mobile phones, and there's no fucking doubt about that. So let's just see how it goes. But I just want to see the European energy drinks that people are drinking, the different flavours of Monster, etc. You know, European Skittles. Lovely. Toro Rosso.

1:00:33Toro Rosso, baby. Pete, that's Red Bull in Italian. Thank you. Yeah, no worries. And also, the final thing now I want to say is that this has all the makings of a new Ian Rush rather than a new Scott McTominay. I mean, he's going to come back in two months' time saying it was like living in a foreign country, which I know Ian Rush never said, but it's a funny story. All right, then. Such a busy summer of transfers, but I think I speak forever at the Football Ramble when I say I'm glad it's over. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Aircast Creator Network. Luke and myself will be back tomorrow with Marcus.

1:01:07Remember to subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you never miss an episode. Goodbye, transfer deal sheet, Lukey Moore. Thank you. Goodbye. Farewell. I've got his agent on the phone, Jim Campbell. Thank you, mate. And it's goodbye from me, the yellow tide one.

1:01:34The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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