Haaland the King of Mythical Beasts

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4:10Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. Hi, mate. It's Monday. We're all mates, aren't we? Mates together. Still mates, PT?

4:18Jim Campbell: Colleagues. Colleagues.

4:19Luke Moore: Okay, colleagues.

4:20Jim Campbell: Colleagues, but there's some fondness there. You don't treat us even like colleagues. That is an improvement. I treat you worse than a dog. You do, like a dog.

4:28Luke Moore: You treat your dog like he's the prince of the realm.

4:32Jim Campbell: I'd love us to be treated like your dog. I know. My dog ate some of my rum and raisin ice cream, and I spent 100 quid getting its stomach pumped. last week naughty doggy is it bad the first thing I thought when he said that was instantly in my mind instinctively it's good that he didn't try and pump the stomach himself some people do keep charcoal at home for that reason right charcoal liquid charcoal did you do it professionally or do you just know a guy who'll pump a dog's stomach thanks medivet the most recent story I've heard about your dog is that you wake up sometimes in the middle of the night and it's rubbing its balls on your head that's not that's not his dog

5:09Luke Moore: right everybody A packed show Jim, a packed show There were derbies galore Across the land And we're going to start with Perhaps the biggest one of them all Manchester City versus Manchester United I said the biggest one of them all The biggest one on the weekend Yeah, yeah Look, it was the main game on Super Sunday Alright, take it up with the broadcasters Not me Was the Sunday super? Quickly, yes or no? Yes No Jim Nah

5:34Jim Campbell: Pete It was soupy Because I drank a lot of gravy with the roast Why do I ask him? Gravy isn't soup, is it? Shut up Sorry, let's not get through. For me, it was a yes. I enjoyed it. We've got a packed show. You can keep saying it. Yeah.

5:49Luke Moore: I'm just waiting for... You can keep saying it. Yeah. You asked us to review the Sabbath for crying out loud. Well, Manchester City won 3-0, of course. Erling Haaland scored a brace. He's been involved in 11 goals. I don't care. How many goals has he scored? That's what I care. I don't give a damn if Erling Haaland has assisted anybody. that's not what he's there for no interest in that he's got a lot of goals do we care if for example Erling Haaland was a grunge era guitarist that appeared on the occasional Smashing Pumpkins track no we don't we want to know what albums he's put out we want to know his stuff what's his stuff

6:28Jim Campbell: do you think that if you smeared Nandrolon on a bus door and it happened to find its way into Erling Haaland's mouth and bloodstream because he's had an incredible week because there's nothing to suggest that he was quite good before that. No. I just think this is, even for him, this is good. I think it's more likely just to be anger. Yeah. It made him better. We've not seen the bus, have we? No. I'm assuming it's kind of ended up like that stage in Street Fighter. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely riddled.

6:56Luke Moore: He's terrified. When he runs, when he opens those legs and he runs. I'm pleased you said this. It's like he's some sort of... You hear a war horn, don't you? Yeah. It's like, I'm struggling to think of a particular beast, but it's like in a film where you get a glimpse of the beast, like in a quiet place or something. Very nice. Like where, you know, when you see, we haven't seen these creatures, and then one just across the screen. And the way it sort of moves. Grab the child.

7:21Jim Campbell: Yeah, he's like that, isn't he?

7:24Luke Moore: He's terrified.

7:24Jim Campbell: I think the difference between the two clubs right now is summed up really well with Harland's first goal, where he basically shrugs off Luke Shaw. Oh, man. And in Harland's wake, Shaw just trips over Alto Bayern, dear. Even as he's going down, I was like, well, what can I do about that? What's amazing across both goals that Haaland scored is the first goal, it's the incredible juxtaposition between how quick and how powerful he is and how he's able to finish with such deafness. And I'm not saying he's better or worse or comparing him to the original Ronaldo, but he was amazing at doing that. He would go through you if he needed to, he would go round you if he needed to, and then he would have the composure to be so deaf in his finishing.

8:08but at the same time obviously he can absolutely rifle one as well and then the thing about Haaland's second goal Marcus which I thought you were going to go on to but allow me is that the amount of time he seems to have

8:21Luke Moore: he doesn't even look like the Man United defence were very charitable they were at the start they were nowhere near him which is incredible to watch but he doesn't look like he's trying that hard to run fast which is the definition of skill isn't it and he's got so much time and he's always going to score the finish is right in the corner of the place as well. You know what he's going to do. I mean, it's Thierry and Ries, you know, the classic open the body and slot it in the corner. You know what he's going to do. The crowd knows, the keeper, but the keeper can't move really until he does it because if the keeper goes down early, he's so good, he's going to go, oh, cheers, you've given me an empty net.

8:51Also, if you're a poor keeper, it looks much worse. I really,

8:55Luke Moore: I'd love to, I don't know if they have come up against each other in international football. I'll stop my head, I can't think. I'd love Norwood to play Italy because I'd love Haaland to come up against Donnarumma. It seems unlikely we're going to get that now. But can you stream a training session or something? Because they're such beasts, the pair of them. It's like the unstoppable force in the immobile log game. Totally, yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're right to say those goals, they were just such delightful finishes. Obviously, he misses that one where he tries to stab it home and it came off the post.

9:25Luke Moore: But it was just phenomenal. But of course, the first goal, Peter, was little Phil Foden.

9:29Jim Campbell: It was, yeah. Him and his hair. Him and his hair. I think we're due a good Phil Forden run of performances and oh god it's got emotional there yeah got emotional but I think remember when he was

9:42Luke Moore: player of the season not that long ago but I think

9:44Jim Campbell: if they get Forden right they're going to have a much better season and maybe they will bother the league title as me and Vish predicted but just thinking didn't Man City get beaten by Paris Saint-Germain the Champions League last season and then Haaland score but it was 4-2 he scored against Donald Rummer then you've seen it

10:00Luke Moore: yes I have seen it you've seen it thank you for picking up those pieces before lots of listeners did that's okay listen I've had a bit of a weekend of it so don't worry oh yeah we're not coming up with that same treatment in a minute when we talk about Arsenal oh I see but Phil Foden it does feel peak doesn't it like he just pops up in the old derbies yep there you go there's a header no problem

10:17Jim Campbell: what a lovely bit of play from Doc oh it's brilliant it was like get a second slice of that it made it look like some quite experienced Man United defenders I know they're playing for Man United they've never seen that before it was like they were going I didn't know you could do that Hang on We're worried about The big bloke They've got two little blokes That's unfair I've never kicked a ball That true And he was off balance I've never kicked a ball That true And he was off balance And having another go at it It was just incredible Yeah

10:45Luke Moore: Well I mean Thierry Henry spoke about Docu didn't he How you've got to do The basics right That classic old thing You know Renny Muenenstein With Cristiano Ronaldo Etc etc On the teat Yeah I don't think Docu was on Henry's teat No but Muenenstein Got that information From Ferguson's teat Yes He established that last week Very much from the DNA. No one else is talking about this. I know. We've done our own research here. Once again, people say we're conspiracy theorists. Yeah. Well. On this, listen, if we are, if that's wrong, I don't want to be right. No, believe what your eyes are telling you.

11:14Luke Moore: And we're going to dig our heels until we're proved right or can't be proved wrong. And if it's wrong, that people... Well, it's not wrong, is it though? It isn't wrong. No. If it is wrong though, how come they're selling Alex Ferguson tip milk in the main night club shop? Answer me that. Anyway,

11:27Jim Campbell: it's a packed show. as we're waiting for that it's a packed bra I'll tell you what though can you read that Ruben Amarim stat because I had to read it about four times

11:38Luke Moore: okay Ruben Amarim has earned 31 points in 31 Premier League games as Manchester United manager that is the worst record of any team during that time brackets excluding the promoted relegated clubs so you can't chuck a Leicester City at me or a Bitswich Town

11:54Jim Campbell: perhaps I'm kind of being too giving or being too fair here really but is it fair to judge Man United against Man City at this point? Well, I know they've had a good record against them recently. We're judging against everyone. Okay, Jim.

12:07Luke Moore: Judge them out by everything else. Alright, so on your rationale let's do that. Ruben Amarim has earned 31 points in 30 Premier League games. How many? Is that better? Is that really fair enough?

12:18Jim Campbell: Man City though, that's a question. Is it time to just make Bruno Fernandes manager? He's doing everything else. Oh my goodness. He had a pop at Andy Brassel over the weekend, didn't he? Did he? You see that? Bruno. Oh, yeah. With Kelly Summers. Go on. A direct shot. It's right.

12:32Luke Moore: I have a feeling it's not a direct shot. Well, she asked him how to pronounce his name. Yeah. And he said, he said it's Bruno, a load of middle names, Portugal, for Nance, right? Yeah. And then, and first of all, I love to think Andy would have been watching that and going, that's right. I've got it. I know how to do it. Keep to the script, Bruno. Then he said, but to be honest, English people who don't speak Portuguese, their first language can't really do it. And even Brazilian Portuguese speakers can't really do it so I would prefer you just to say Fernandes. Oh. Clip that out and have. Get it on Andy's get it on social media tag Andy in and we're away.

13:06And your trainers are not very nice he said at the end. He did say that actually. And I hate basketball. I hate people who collect trainers and I hate people who drink green tea. That was very nice of him.

13:16Luke Moore: Would we hear President Erdogan say it's fine for English people to call us turkey still? Probably not. No. Probably not yeah. Different type of bloke you'd say. Is he having a pop at Andy as well? If he is we're on board. Well anyway back to the Derby. the Manchester Derby Gianluigi Donnarumma made his first starting goal for Manchester City what a save well I mean I just it's an absolutely crucial save yeah not least not least because on this show on Friday we said he makes a save no one else can make thank you very much Gianluigi for doing that second of all the more serious reason it's an important save is because it's 2-0 at the time

13:48Jim Campbell: yeah may or not enjoy a little bit of the play they score that it's a lovely effort as well by the way if they score that we then get to find out what colour Man City's Pantzhar. As a result, we didn't need to because he keeps them in the game. And making saves of that quality at key moments is what the very top goalkeepers do.

14:06Luke Moore: And that's something, isn't it? Because much has been made about, you know, can he do this? Can he do that? Etc. And so on. But Manchester City in that period last season where they look very vulnerable, when they conceded, they would crap themselves. Now, I know that was just a period in the season. They finished the season fairly strong. But if you have Donnarumma in goal, those little goals that you concede here and there, you're going to reduce that quite a lot. So, again, whatever one may think about the playing style, if you've got Donnarumma in goal, then you've got a hell of a challenge.

14:37Luke Moore: He'll win you points. It just feels like it's worth points to you, doesn't it? That's what it feels like. That's it. And I think as well, again, if you're an attacker and you see him in goal, there is a part of you that thinks, I'm going to have to do something really special here. And then, you know, you get inside your own head, et cetera, et cetera, because he is that end of level boss baddie. Big presence, big presence. It's the opposite, as I was just saying earlier, of Haaland. When Haaland sort of gallops through, the goalkeeper must think, bloody hell, right, okay. There's that psychological battle.

15:01Luke Moore: And I think, with Don Rumour, I would suspect that that would be the case. I know I say this as a mere mortal and not even a playground player anymore, but still, the presence he has in goal. You hear ex-pundits say it enough. So I think there's got to be something, isn't it? Sorry, yes, ex-players and current pundits. Ex-pundits. Who's an ex-pundit? I wish Martin Keown was. Mike Lawrenson Mike Lawrenson's an ex-pundit Alan Hansen

15:26Jim Campbell: I've been de-pundited I've been de-gloved I've been de-gloved Who de-gloved Lawrenson? Do you know who he's working for now? No Mossad That clip has lost all context No do it again now Don't let him get away with that Alright De-gloving is the removal of the skin from the penis It is Accidentally isn't it? I think it's any skin Was it still on purpose Jim? Likely is it? I first heard it with someone that we work very closely with. Wasn't he talking about someone who climbed up a lamppost? Yeah. And fell off it and he gloved himself. You can knee gloved your fingers, can't you?

16:03Luke Moore: Yeah, I thought it was just specifically the fingers. We've expanded it to the penis. Yeah. But as you said, it's a pack show. It is, yeah.

16:11Jim Campbell: We're trying to unpack it, though. On Donnarumma, after he makes that save, you see just how much he loves that stuff. he would probably have enjoyed Man United because he'd just be facing shots a lot more often you can tell he loves it and his punches as well he's like the bane of saving very much so he might score from a punch in this season ridiculous

16:31Luke Moore: the respect he has from his teammates as well you know how many of them wanted to give him a high five kind of thing afterwards it was just yeah he will make a difference there's no doubt about it he absolutely munched across about five minutes in and you thought it's business time and I do think and I know it's easy to kick the shit out of Man United at the moment we'll continue to do it make no apology for it etc but if you're going to talk about goalkeepers because this is an open shut case really this game Man City were much better they won it quite easily you know they probably could have scored a couple more actually there's a slight inflection point on that Donnarumma saver we've mentioned but really that's a stretch City were always going to win the game so if you're going to talk about goalkeepers I wonder what you guys make of the decision to pick Bayern there because we talked on Friday about how you know it's probably probably Lam Enge you've got to pick because he's your guy he's your new guy he's the guy you wanted you don't want to ruin him just yet that's the thing though that is the thing that's how sad it is though look I'm not saying that joking around I think they go into that game it's such an unconfident thing to do to pick he won't have had many training sessions though right surely that's playing into it I think as well the whole thing is shaky I think you've got to pick Bayern Deer for that particular game but I think I know it's potentially high risk high reward but the reward is gym, he talked about training sessions, fine.

17:49He goes in there, he has a blinder against Man City and his confidence is really burnished and all of a sudden that problem starts to feel like less of a problem.

17:56Jim Campbell: I suppose the same is true of Donnarumma, isn't it? There's no way they're going to not pick Donnarumma.

18:01Luke Moore: It's a very different situation, I think. Yeah, but in terms of the preparation. It's a new keeper coming in. But Donnarumma's had years of preparation playing at the highest level, etc. Levens has been playing in the Belgian League and he's not playing at the highest level now, is he?

18:14Jim Campbell: You kind of want to get him before he gets the Man United stink on him, really.

18:18Luke Moore: Yeah, true. Maybe that's it. They had their chance. I found it really odd that in the, there was an interview on the Man United website going into the game where he's being asked, he's being asked a load of kind of, you know, softball questions because the Man United website, you know, what challenges do Man City possess? You know, how are we going to, how are we going to deal with it at the weekend? And he says, and his question is that we go into this game the same way that we go any game, the same feeling we have as when we played Grimsby. Stop talking about Grimsby. What is this? Some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder?

18:54Luke Moore: He sounded a little bit different to what we've come to expect post-match here. But normally he would say, I mean, he did do the whole with Man United, it should be better and so on. But he said they gave 100 % and I could see any player out there I could criticise, all that kind of stuff. Yeah, he talked up his players a bit. The system's really coming along now. Well, he said he won't change and so every manager knows who's going to set up and can pick that off, presumably. But he also said that, you know I take the blame it's my fault blah blah blah blah maybe stop doing that has it been too much of that?

19:22Luke Moore: has it got a kink? it is yeah self-flagellator how long has he got left in the job Peter?

19:27Jim Campbell: I don't know I think like Luke says I don't know why I keep telling you Grimsby because as discussed maybe he really loves the Sacha Baron Cohen film yeah maybe he does yeah Brothers Grimsby I just don't know why he's obsessed with that because teams do have giant killings every now and again Man United have fallen foul of that a few times so like I wouldn't worry about it too much. I happen to think Man United will recover from that performance. Playing Man City at this point in the season isn't ideal, but I think they'll kick on and I think they've got enough up top. There's a shot of when Haaland scores his second goal where the Man United high line is.

20:03Jim Campbell: It's a crazy, crazy position for them to be in. And I don't know how they got there.

20:07Luke Moore: Well, because Maguire was the last man and he gets a bad ball and he goes in to try and deal with it and then plays a bad pass himself. but the fact is yes that goal when you're dealing at the top level and playing against those players it is essentially a gift because Haaland can just run into the hole of their heart but also I mean Tajani Ryan does very nearly score a similar goal

20:27Jim Campbell: and probably should have done shortly after that Haaland should have scored before that as well

20:30Luke Moore: I mean look I thought you know Amorim will be the first to walk when does it get to the point because everyone is now saying Manchester United are worse under Amorim he's had enough time. Well they are statistically worse. They are completely. He's had enough time and he's going on about this system fine but he's not showing much pragmatism. He's now playing Bruno Fernandes slightly out of position. I know they've got attacking players but I think they would be much better to play. I think you almost go Kunio right up top. I know they've just signed Cesco. Fine. I think you've got to play Fernandes in a more similar position and Bumo is a kind of position he played for Brentford.

21:11Luke Moore: There's tweaks you can make there. And we're making a lot of the system because he's made a lot of the system, Amarim. That's why we're saying... That's exactly the key point, Marcus. The point is, it's crazy for him to endlessly talk about the system every single week when the system, as Pete points out, is flawed in that way so obviously and so many of the players don't seem to better play it. I don't understand why he keeps... It's almost like a comfort blanket for him. And he's had his summer transfer window where they've spent an awful lot of money. Okay, it's early days. We'll give them a little benefit of the doubt there.

21:42Luke Moore: It looked a little bit better when they played against Arsenal on the home day. You know, when they went away to Fulham, there was a little better. They came out of the Burnley game with a win. Yeah, so we keep saying a little better.

21:55Jim Campbell: Any injuries in the centre midfield or their horse is buggered anyway. So, like, they're quite light there. Oh, yeah. I think, you know, whether or not he survives this period or, you know, months into the future or whatever, is really dependent on what is acceptable for the board at Man United for the end of this season. No one's expecting them to challenge for the league, are they? It's just about whether or not. I suppose Europe has to be a minimum, doesn't it? So I imagine that he's got a little bit of time left still,

22:24Luke Moore: but if they look like they're not going to get near that again, then it's seriously bad. Which is why one has to say it's early days, because right now the thought of Manchester United finishing seventh or if indeed, say, eighth place was good enough for, say, the Conference League or something, you'd think, ah, no chance. okay, in two months' time, maybe, you know, Kunya and Boomer, they start firing. We know they've got the quality, but I think it wouldn't shock me sort of come around Christmas time, you're looking at this and you're thinking, lads, you've got a decision to make here. And there's two things at once as well, which I find really interesting.

22:58One is like, on one hand, you can say, well, you don't really expect Man Utd to do anything at City because City are brilliant, blah, blah, blah. And that's kind of fine. and you can kind of convince yourself that you want to write it off as that. But at the same time, for the ambition that Man United have and the comments that the owners make and for the history they've got, at the same time, it just lays bare how far away they are. And actually, the fact that they can't really expect to go to Man City and get anything, even though they did last season, is a damning indictment on them because they strengthen or they do what they think strengthens them.

23:33And Amarim does get a full pre-season with the team and it still looks really, really bad. I mean, the one thing you would say alongside the statistics of Amarim's points from games and all the rest of it, which is just astonishingly bad for a side like Man United, is that I don't think you can make any excuses at all. And some May United fans have done this. I've seen that in our YouTube comments. Some May United fans saying things like, well, you know, you guys were all saying that the players were the problem and that Amarim's moved on a lot of these players that he thinks the problem. And now you're not giving him any credit.

24:03You need to back him kind of thing. it's like well I get what you mean with that but at the same time you know he's had a full pre-season with them he's been backed he's been given players like it's not like they haven't spent money and it's not

24:14Jim Campbell: to fit his system as well yeah exactly and it's not like they're getting a bit unlucky here and there it feels to me like the players

24:20Luke Moore: well they've been getting lucky they could have been it could have been a lot worse well look at the Burnley game you mentioned they got lucky and the players they do bring in don't seem to flourish in that system anyway so you have to really say you have to point the finger at some point And Aberim was able to get a lot of credit from a lot of people from all parts of football for coming in after the start of the season, for everyone knowing how shambolic Man United were, and so you get through to the end of the season, do what you can, you get a full pre-seasoning thing, and then things will be better.

24:50Well, they're not better. And some of the reasons they're not better aren't his fault. Things like ridiculous post-season tours and stupid commercial considerations. But at the same time, the job just looks too big for him. and I said a year ago the job's probably at this point too big for anyone and you may not need to get to grips with that really

25:06Jim Campbell: that first sort of slightly faltering season from Sir Alex Ferguson really every time whenever a new Man United manager sort of comes in you just get a few more months don't you because it's like well you saw what happened well at Sir Alex Ferguson different times aren't it different times very different times but also the first full season of May United under Ferguson they came second I think and even the season where he comes very close to losing his job is nowhere near but here we are mentioning Alex Ferguson they're victims of their own success aren't they for that reason this shows the victim of our age I think as well quite possibly

25:44Luke Moore: what did you think of a member of the bar staff at the Etihad turning up wearing a Manchester United shirt

25:48Jim Campbell: it was absolutely pathetic what was he doing a bit of tweet

25:51Luke Moore: well the worst the best thing that happens is you get slagged off all day yeah that's the best thing and you're very likely to get sacked which he did It was one of those situations where no one at all comes out of any credit, right? The guy turns up to work at Man City with a main night shot obnoxious, right? What am I like? Stupid thing to do. On display as well. It's like he's done a zip up over the top of it. Second of all, he gets fired, right? Which is a complete overreaction. I mean, just take him out the back and say, what are you doing? Put a jumper on. Hang on.

26:21Jim Campbell: I'd wear a Yorkie shirt at Leicester City. I mean, there's probably an argument to sort of say it's a crowd safety thing. If you're in a mixed area, I was going to say. You're not allowed to wear colours anyway. So it's probably a crowd-surfing thing. But also, they probably got rid of them because there's not enough home fans to serve. So he's probably quite pleased with that.

26:37Luke Moore: For some of the reasons there, I do think that's probably a sackable offence, especially as we found out recently, didn't we, in a recent tribunal or whatever it was, that if you don't fit the vibe, then you're out. They used football fans and all.

26:50Jim Campbell: If you don't fit the vibe, get out the tribe.

26:51Luke Moore: Yes, exactly. And he's away. Just before we move on, just a little something for Man United fans Rasmus Hoyland scored 14 minutes into his Napoli debut at the weekend yeah

27:02Jim Campbell: a Man United like juvie at this point scaring kids straight I have no idea Andre and Anna a man of the match in his first game of Travson's score as well the only thing I'd say

27:10Luke Moore: about apparently the goal they conceded because they lost 1-0 he was slightly at fault I don't think that's true I think people would have done him dirty there do you think so if you watch it I kind of agree he makes a save a good save and he can't get up quick enough for the rebound that's not his fault he was man of the match as soon as he left Old Trafford. Honestly,

27:29Jim Campbell: there's going to get to a point where players move to Man United to ensure that their next move is a success.

27:34Luke Moore: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, totally, yeah. I'm up for it. Peter, Manchester United seem to have vindicated one of your suggestions, though. They are going to start doing mid-season tours, apparently. You've got to pay for that

27:47Jim Campbell: for the circus tent summer, haven't you? Yeah, well, you did say this.

27:50Luke Moore: Words to the effect of, you know, in between when they're not playing in European competitions, so why not go away and play a friendly in a far-flung place to make a feud with. I think I should be

27:58Jim Campbell: CEO of Manchester United.

27:59Luke Moore: I've got some great ideas. You dress like him today. I nearly said it can't get any worse, can it? And then I stopped. I don't reckon Pete would be that much worse. I reckon if you started to put quite eccentric, like kind of, because Pete, you are genuinely quite a clever man. He'd fix the roof himself. And he's eccentric, right? I reckon the scales would fall from your eyes. All these people on Instagram who just absolutely lionise CEOs. Oh, you want to be a CEO? it's a fast moving CEO let's do an interview on Diary of a CEO put a few people like Pete in those positions I doubt anything would get much worse

28:32Jim Campbell: we're getting up at 10am and we're eating Chinese there we go great already Casemiro's on board a midweek friendly sounds like a kind of euphemistic term for like you know explaining to your partner why you're pissed on a Wednesday isn't it it was a midweek friendly it was a mid-voc frolic it's hard to think of anything more damning for May United fans to listen to the sentences that are completely innocently put in this running order. Right, there's two here. One is Manchester United's mid-season tours are starting to take shape. The second is Manchester United have 11 free midweeks before Christmas.

29:06Luke Moore: Matches could be played in front of paying crowds. We hope so. Although, if they don't fill them up, then the dynamic pricing kicks in and goes wee, wee, wee. I love the idea of Man United doing a load of midweek games

29:17Jim Campbell: friendlies and just not getting paid. Why isn't this Man City beer purveyor, not front and centre on the Man United socials right now he probably is right now I can think on guys legend Man United want to get a PR win which we've seen they don't hire him get him in there

29:31Luke Moore: of course according to Luke Moore the second biggest derby in the land also happened on Sunday it absolutely was tell me another one that's bigger Spurs West Ham Spurs Spurs West Ham a game that only one half care about Spurs don't care about West Ham they don't

29:48Jim Campbell: any dirty wigs around kicking around that match no Half and half wigs Didn't see him at all In the crowd actually No I didn't either Good isn't it I've sat like Nobody talks about His big clown shoes I bet they absolutely Fucking honk Oh yeah There's more space At the end for gas By the way

30:04Luke Moore: Portsmouth They replaced their keeper In the first half Yeah With the same bloke It looked like it It's amazing to see Do check that out Because one guy goes on And it looks like It's like stars in their eyes It was like He hasn't got the make up on it It was like a spot

30:19Jim Campbell: The difference challenge

30:20Luke Moore: A little bit yeah Came out with tube like Blade Runner.

30:22Jim Campbell: That's true.

30:23Luke Moore: The only other thing I'll say about the South Coast Derby is, of course, it ended nil-nil. And that nil-nil was just the second scoreless draw between the two sides. The previous one came in 1924. So apologies for everybody who watched that. Story history. I think there was a time in it. Did you guys watch it? Yeah. No. No, okay. Jim, I'll talk to you then. There was a time in the first half where I think if Portsmouth had scored when they were on top, it would have been a really good game. Yeah. I think they just kind of run out of steam, didn't they? and then Sir Rampton came into it and they ended up finishing pretty strongly.

30:53You loved the old handshake at the end though.

30:55Jim Campbell: Yeah, I mean, it wasn't quite Tuchel and Conte, was it? It was a diagogy, wasn't it? Yeah, Will still wasn't happy with the strength of the grip, which is, you're just looking for stuff there, aren't you? I think it lacked the needle that we were expecting, but it was quite robust on the pitch, wasn't it? Did John Massinho say the Southampton players were trying to injure his players after the game? So there's that. It'll be a fiercer atmosphere at Frampton Park. he's much closer in the fans are much louder that Segacic guy made some poor decisions I thought he's had a really good start to the season I think he let the occasion get to him a bit and I think Portsmouth's front four will threaten a lot this season in the championship they just didn't quite crack on and don't forget it's kind of Chapman's first game as well so he's still got a bed in so it was a lot of positivity to take from a team but by the way and I know Marcus I can see by your face you want to move on I'm just staring at the clock and the scared head Marcus let me just say let me just say the sheer amount of money Sarampton have spent this summer compared to what Portsmouth have spent.

31:51Nil-nil is a very good result away from home from Portsmouth.

31:53Luke Moore: We've chatted more about Portsmouth this season on the show than Fulham. I'm bloody right. Absolutely. But as Luke said, if Portsmouth would have scored in the first half, it really could have been a good game. There's a little lad called Kevin who might have something to say about that for the rest of the season. What a play.

32:06Jim Campbell: He's talking about Phil Neville more than we talk about Fulham.

32:09Luke Moore: Pete Donaldson. With some respect. They've taken the button away. Oh, there you go. Have a point. Right. Coming up after this, Arsenal make Luke Moore look silly. Oh, good.

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35:19Jim Campbell: Just going back to Donnarumma, what does he give you that you didn't have? He's so tall. That gives us, he's so huge.

35:32Luke Moore: He's a big boy. Thanks to Friend of the Ramble Moon for sending us that clip on Discord. You can become a Friend of the Ramble too for just five bucks a month. Just search patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved. Arsenal 3, Nottingham, Forest 0. Luke, you were saying that Arsenal have... To paraphrase, you've maybe not quite hit their... They're your worst. Their straps. You've been disappointed. People have maybe overrated them. You said you haven't seen much from Martin Zubomendi and old Vicky G. Victor Jocheres well they put in a performance they did which was certainly a response to you so I was dreading this when I saw how Arsenal eventually played against Forrest and got a really good win at home 3-0 but then I went back and listened to what I actually said and it's not that bad I mean people have gone mad about it but it's not that bad

36:20Jim Campbell: I think the Mandela effect kicked in maybe it has everybody remember you saying you were essentially saying that you'd not been that impressed with Zuban Mendy I said I think he's struggled to find his feet a bit and this is not what he's here for I was going to say

36:32Luke Moore: but you were putting the dampeners on Arsenal a bit you were a bit like they've not convinced me I'm not too sure and that's fair enough you know I said on the first day of the season when they won of course at Old Trafford I was like fair enough they won but I just want to see a little bit more and then away at Liverpool obviously they lost I want to see a little bit more now again this is at home to Forrest and Jeposta Goglu's Forrest first game in charge exactly but it was a 3-0 victory the Premier League is always a decent result and they looked you know I think they'll be challenging it was the best performance

37:03Jim Campbell: of the season on Zubamendi I don't think it's outrageous to say that he wasn't particularly good at Old Trafford apparently he was recovering from a bug that day which might explain some of that Anfield thought he was okay it was really good against Leeds was instrumental in one of the goals but obviously it's Leeds at home it's very different but obviously he was excellent but generally

37:18Luke Moore: we wanted to see a rasping volley Jim

37:19Jim Campbell: we did a rasping sort of kind of banana shaped volley yes what a hit the technique on it is incredible T.R.T.S. Jim

37:27Luke Moore: Jim, last week, you wouldn't have thought you'd say this, but it was a welcome strike. It was a welcome strike. Very good, very good.

37:35Jim Campbell: Sells could have done better, though, probably. Probably not. He does get a hand on it, though, doesn't he? He does get a strong hand on it. It swerved. It really did swerve for a lot of players. It might have hit Murillo as well, so it's really hard to know. But, I mean, yeah, he obviously gets his header as well.

37:47Luke Moore: But it's poor goalkeeping.

37:49Jim Campbell: Yeah, sure. If you want to be extremely hard. I'm still in shock about take. I mean, really? Matt Sells was an attending goalkeeper on it and I think he should have saved it really an attending goalkeeper he was part of the you can't blame any other goalkeeping situation he does get a hand on it which keeper I'm going to blame for that one it's Matt Sells, he's really good he's a really really good goalkeeper that doesn't mean he should stop every shot that comes his way you've got the full Gary Neville, every shot should be saved remember when Gary Neville said that one it's already carried away it's an absolutely brilliant goal yeah for the second Nicholas of Order should have judged the header properly Peter enjoy it as he was like

38:32Luke Moore: thank you very much I'm off Peter enjoy that strike for what it was I was enjoying it one in the eye for Luke Moore I mean he pops up with a header come on that's a piss take Zubimendi that was a piss take it was a lovely strike and Zubimendi you know it does him the world of good and Victor Jokeres as well strikers love the goals really clinical and also what I love about that is that

38:50Jim Campbell: obviously Calafuri's deciding to pop up in the place he does because he has a free role which is It's hugely enjoyable. He lost that ball in. And Eza takes it first time when he's weaker foot. And it's such a pinpoint delivery. And this is what Jokeres is there for, is to gobble those chances up. I also loved the shot he took when he hit the bar. Oh, what a hit. The sort of midpoint between the bar and the post in the second half. Because most, like 99 % of Arsenal players throughout all of history square that to no one.

39:19Luke Moore: But that's it, Jim. That's why he's there. And you look at the goal. you know Mikel Marino he put a shift in up front last season a position that he'd never played before so fair play he wants it again he wants it again well he ended the game there I know yeah mad yeah he should have done better for Zipermandy's first goal well he should have he should have got the opening goal one might say but with Jokeres you know it's just quite simply when Eze puts that lovely ball in there's a proper forward a proper striker to gobble it up as you say and that one where he smacks against the post you know Jokeres he looks powerful that goal he scored against Leeds you have to say that it was very loud which was really pleasing very much so did he already get the criticism

39:59Jim Campbell: did people just expect him to hit the ground ring more you know I think he's so he's not really been involved in play that much to be honest and you know people talk about Erling Haaland not often having that many touches but Jocheres I think he he is going to need to work on his link up play because there are times it gets out to him and he maybe doesn't get the ball to a teammate there were flashes of that yeah there are flashes of it and I think he looks like the type of player who will be dedicated to improving the things he needs to improve. You've also got to look at what they signed him for, though, which is, as Marcus has said, to be a proper striker.

40:28And I also do think there's a little bit... I've been moderately impressed by him. I think you always have to be careful when a player comes from Portugal or comes from Holland or whatever, one of those kind of lesser-rated leagues, and scores hatfuls of goals. Because we have to be honest, some players have come in and done really well. For every... Van Persie, there's an Alphonso Alves, do you know what I mean? Alphonso Alves scored an absolutely extraordinary amount of goals in Holland and other players have done it in Portugal as well but there's also a kind of residual bias against Gioca I think because he played in the Championship and people are oh he's a Championship player he was crapping this game I saw him for Swansea or whatever so there's a bit of that as well but Marcus is absolutely spot on I think to say that they've signed him because they needed a proper striker and when you talk about someone like Marino going in there you give him respect for trying his best and doing a good job but it's not instinctive for him is it no you can see it's instinctive for Gokerez

41:25Jim Campbell: absolutely despite him getting four goals in two games for Spain I think the story of this game is really the strength of Arsenal's flaw now because the standout players from the game are really Nani Madueke had a brilliant game Eza grew into the game gets his assist obviously Gokerez scores Christian Mosquera which was fantastic that recovery all new players after Chriswood chested the ball and the bar as hard as anyone's ever been. That was weird. And like, just a wonderful recovery. Airball chest. But that is kind of Mascara's kind of game though, isn't he? Just kind of like, he just goes, I don't care if it's a last gas challenge.

41:59Jim Campbell: That's what I do. Seems to be. And his passing range was really good. Some sort of line breaking passes at points as well. Jim, what's interesting is that, of course, I don't know if you can read too much into them beating Forrest at home. Especially in the circumstances. And it's possible to judge Forrest on that.

42:13Luke Moore: Are you spurs in disguise with quite pleasing chums? That is very nice. That is very nice. but is it interesting to consider now that if based on the evidence, is it like Martinelli and Odegaard aren't in Arsenal's best team?

42:26Jim Campbell: Martinelli's definitely not for sure. He's got a big season ahead of him in terms of finding some form again. Odegaard is injured. Yeah, well, Odegaard is injured again. Because Odegaard got dropped on his shoulder hard. He did, he did. Do it into the camera. A big issue for him is if he has the same sort of season he had last season, then Ethan McNary is knocking on the door and he played very well. He has a sort of quietly effective game. So I don't know if we're quite at that point yet, but it's certainly a valid conversation. He needs to kind of get back to some of the form of the season before last.

43:04Jim Campbell: But the thing with Odegaard is even when things aren't going for him, he keeps working, he keeps pushing, he keeps pressing, he keeps trying things. So I think it's a matter of time. Did you see the assistant referee giving Califiori advice on how to take a throw in? Yeah, it was great. Califiori is a fascinating human. I really recommend following him on Instagram because it's like a boomer in the body of an Italian model. The things he posts are so confusing. They're so strange. Often it's just a picture of himself doing absolutely nothing or just him enjoying being out and about in London like a tourist.

43:36Jim Campbell: It's always slightly confusing and off-putting.

43:39Luke Moore: I think with Arsenal Odegaard goes off the pitch Saka is not even there and they win comfortably 3-0 and everyone's purring about their performance that's something that they've not had for Rice didn't start goodness knows how long exactly and look you've got to win these games they won it so credit to them and of course they hammered Leeds at home a newly promoted side okay but you know Arsenal don't want to be just flat track bullies here and that's the same with Jokeres it's when you go to Anfield and so on now that fixture's passed now but you know Liverpool struggled to beat Burnley and they got a very fortunate it was a penalty but it was a silly mistake and fair enough that those games can happen and we always say well when you know Ferguson's Manchester United went to Stoke and they win 1-0 and they do a war of attrition they just get those are the games and people talk about that so fair play to Liverpool for doing that and they've got Ezek to come in but Liverpool don't look great and they didn't look great at the start of last season this is a long-winded way of saying for crying out loud Arsenal attack them well only when you're playing them but you know I as a neutral I'm just yearning for them and I know you'll be yearning on a totally different level slightly less neutral but you know just it's a good win for Arsenal but for crying out loud take that into the next game and the next one and when you play the big boys I do think Liverpool were much better at the start of last season than they have been this season.

45:08They only lost one game in their first 20 games. Which was against Forest. Yeah,

45:11Luke Moore: they just seemed to be, they were plodding through it at a nicely and gentle pace, but they weren't pulling up too many trees. I think it depends which way you look at it, Certainly no tricky trees. No, they weren't, exactly. And I blame Matt Seltz for that. Yeah. I think the way that you've got to look at it is either that Liverpool are just getting it done, right? They're blending some new players in, they're giving someone like Florian Wurtz a room to kind of find his feet, still playing him and they're still getting wins. or you just say God they look shaky but the thing about that is it's quite hard to pin them down because the first couple I know we're not talking about Liverpool but just very quickly the first couple of Liverpool games in the Premier League they could be got at they get caught out and then the last two games Burnley never looked like I mean Burnley did okay but you know what Burnley are going to do and it very very nearly worked and interestingly enough Slott was quite complimentary about that wasn't he?

45:57He was in the match afterwards which was quite nice

45:59Luke Moore: a refreshing take here normally they didn't bother attacking us but my concern for Arsenal will be and I know Arsenal fans listen to this are going to say I'm moving the goalpost I'm not I accept that they had a really good win at the weekend and I accept that Zubimendi was great and I accept that I was wrong on that but not to move the goalpost but you guys have brought up a really interesting discussion point as well which is that the fear you'd have if you're an Arsenal fan is that when they do play say Man City next they've got Athletic in the win and they've got City right they play City next if they set I know it's at home instead of being away but if they set up in a completely unambitious way overly relaxed set pieces they've got to win these games

46:34Jim Campbell: They tend not to do that at home against anybody really but they have quite often They smashed them last week They did They've quite often set up in the same way they did at Anfield at the Etihad and I really hope that it's different this time The squad's been built in a way where the idea is that you can compete with anybody so perhaps it's naive of me to think this because if they go there and they win 1-0 by winning a war of attrition I'll be thrilled with that but yeah, I know what you mean there is a chance that you I suppose you limit your own chance of success by taking fewer risks in a weird way.

47:06Jim Campbell: They shouldn't be scared of anybody. But the good news is, Marcus, they've got a lovely old jumper on it, fits them snug, second in the league. Great stuff. Whenever you look at the league table, at any point in the last two and a half years, Arsenal are second. In that league table that was put together to show the points at Marim as a crew, they were obviously second in that as well. That's not even a real table.

47:29Luke Moore: Yeah, very much second. not to Ruben Ambrose. May United are 14th, by the way. Snap your hand off for that now. Right now. Deal with that now. An improvement's an improvement's an improvement. It is. To paraphrase Brian Clough. Ange Bosikoglu, of course, lost his first game because he is now Forest manager. And he was asked about his tan after the game, which is a classic, utterly pointless question from someone working for the British media. But he replied, whenever a manager looks tanned and rested, it means he's out of a job, mate. So I'd rather not be looking so well and pale.

47:58Jim Campbell: I mean, he wasn't quite as grumpy as that looks written down. But there is this weird kind of masochistic kind of thing that a lot of British journalists do with Ange Postokoglu where they ask him a really sort of kind of anodyne question like that. And it's like putting your head in a lion's mouth. Yeah. Because he doesn't play, does he? He doesn't react to that. That's the content though, isn't it? That's the game, isn't it? You ask stupid questions. Those journalists or broadcasters, if you want to call them, they've put their own self-respect to one side. because they and it sounds like I'm being out of order to them but I think it's a serious point because what they're now doing they've either been told to do it or they've decided to do it is to ask questions specifically that will get traction on like social media that's it there's no insightful or incisive question whenever I would spend you know a couple of hours getting some questions together for you know a shit indie band or who Biffy Claro anybody the head of entertainment would come down and go here's the entertainment questions and they'd always be asking two questions what do you think if Britain's got talent and would you be on what insert you know Love Island or whatever and it was just always one of those ones where it's like it's not for us it's not for grown ups you just put them in there to get the thing that's going to sell the piece and that's what's happening now and that's what's happening now I would respect Ange a lot more if he had delivered every answer in Greek and I've done a little wink at the camera that would be lovely if you Google I typed where did Ange go on his holiday for some god damn reason at Google and at the top of the like a Google page it gives you like that weird little AI summary that's always wrong, always bullshit.

49:29Jim Campbell: And it says, but it's really formal the way they did this sort of info blast. They wrote like, key details, location, greets, purpose, family holiday after a demanding season. It's so fucking naff. So clinical.

49:42Luke Moore: Oh, right. Very enjoyable. Well, yeah. Surely Forrest will improve under him. It's about to be fine for him. Not ideal. I would have sat this one out personally. Clearly, I mean, they're not going to play a team of that quality every week. they're away at Burnley next time in the Premier League might tell us a bit more about them than the Arsenal game did probably not the same might do alright coming up after this Jordan Henderson's Brentford got a precious point what a pass

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51:55Luke Moore: Right then, Brentford 2, Chelsea 2 All square in a West London derby Fabio Carvalho Who used to play for Fulham of course And Liverpool And Hull City Yeah We're not doing the game We're not doing my video Scored a 93rd minute equaliser for Brentford That goal came from a long throw A.K.A. the cheat code I love Learn them Calafiore

52:17Jim Campbell: They're back

52:18Luke Moore: but they're in fashion now

52:20Jim Campbell: Yeah Which I love that Yeah All over that Tony Poulos is absolutely fuming Where's my flowers

52:25Luke Moore: I think people are giving him his flowers now Yeah But I think that I think that he will absolutely see it as a if I did that people would be criticising me Yeah Kind of way Sure The fact that now other managers are doing it Some Carlos Kickerball comes over here Yeah exactly Exactly that Exactly that Where is he managing that at the moment Carlos Kickerball Carlos Kickerball I don't know part of me thinks that a Saturday 8pm game there's part of me when I see that a bit naughty yeah I just feel like ah I quite had to watch a movie or something but I watched it and I bloody enjoyed it it was a good game it was a very good game very enjoyable and Brentford I mean look some people were concerned about them I was again it's early days but against the good Chelsea side who have got pretty scintillating attack you'd have to say Jim when they go forward you know they've got a lot of options up there and they were really good in this game as well exactly Exactly.

53:14Luke Moore: Palmer came on, of course, got his goal. I should have had a second, really. Kelleher showed his quality. It was a really poor finish after a great move. Yeah, I think it's one of those ones, clearly, where he thought, I've just got to hit this firmly. I don't think he caught it where he wanted to catch it, though, did he? Yeah, but I mean, Kelleher, you've got to give the keeper a bit of credit. But Jordan Henderson pulling the strings from Brentford, what a lovely pass.

53:34Jim Campbell: What an incredible ball that was from Henderson. And also, one of the things that was really crucial for Brentford, not, you know, facing the disaster that some people worried they would is Igor Thiago delivering and he's been doing that. He's been really, really good for them. He essentially came in to replace Ivan Toney. He's been really good and obviously Kevin Sharder scored a lot of goals from last season but didn't get the headlines because of Wisser and Mbumo and obviously he's

54:00Luke Moore: delivered here as well. Well, he's the one you think, you know, really wanted him to step up and it was always good getting the goal. Yeah. I think also, I mean, him being moved further forward is interesting and I think Thiago, The thing about Thiago is he's really game. He really runs and runs and runs. And I do think, you know, talking about Chelsea there, you mentioned some of the weapons Chelsea have got. I wonder if Maresca's slightly regretting making the changes he made going into this game. Because it's quite surprising that he started with Buonanotte and Gittins and Hato at left back, who I thought had a bit of a tolerated time, actually.

54:35That may haunt him, actually. And the thing with Chelsea is they've obviously got so many options that he probably feels like he has to mix it up

54:44Jim Campbell: a bit here and there. And especially the way they approached the back end of the game which is they really went for it and left the door open the back really. Yeah and it's Garnaccio not tracking his man isn't he? Which is something that's probably the kind of thing that they'll work on in the training ground when they've had a bit more time together. Oh that's why I didn't want him. That's why I didn't want him anymore. Fuck.

55:00Luke Moore: Do an overhead kick. He started Joel Pedro at front. Joel Pedro said that he wanted to be left out because he didn't feel much fit and Enzo Mariska said I'll decide and put him in there because they've obviously got a big game. They're off to Munich. Yes. So give me an hour and you can come off. Yeah, exactly. But it was a really good game actually and you have to give Brentford credit for getting back into it. I like Keith Andrews as a character. He seems like a breath of fresh air actually. I like how frank he is. He seems like a nice lad. Lovely accent. Great hair. All for it, me. I'm all for it.

55:29Luke Moore: Well, again, that was the position where the Brentford, you know, the way Brentford are run, we know it's much documented how well they've done. establishing themselves as a Premier League club, not battling relegation, very much establishing themselves as a solid Premier League club. Considering where they are, the size of the club previously, da-da-da-da-da. We've gone over that ground. But it's always worth remembering that. Thomas Frank was the man at the helm. And whichever player they sold, they just seemed to carry on. It was more of the same. And the club was kind of built around Frank, really.

56:00Luke Moore: Yeah, exactly. But it was so consistent. The only thing we hadn't seen was a change of management. That's right. And you think, okay, are they going to be as effective as replacing a manager as they have done with replacing players. Well, I think, you know, so far the signs aren't too bad. It's been okay. Definitely a better start than I thought. Yeah, not been brilliant but you wouldn't expect it to be a brilliant start. So, I think, okay, and getting that goal late on, especially when Caicedo smashes one in and you think that's probably going to be the winning hit. Keeper should have done better, Jim.

56:29Luke Moore: There we go. Who is the attendant goalkeeper? Pete Donson, it's over to you. It was an absolute thunderbolt, that one.

56:35Jim Campbell: I think when you find that passenger, between two players he's like well that's even if the keeper gets it it's too beautiful it's too beautiful the keeper wasn't anywhere near it but Matt Sells was near the first one can I go back to the so basically Matt Sells did better then because he got closer to it no because there's no pictures on the score sheet as you said yourself he's always saying

56:52Luke Moore: that Kaisano stuffed it in the corner whereas Zubamendi was more of a nice height can I go back to the long throws thing very briefly what we were going to yes the great thing about it is that even at the very top level you've got players at Chelsea who just they can't deal with it. Well, tossing is massive. But Chalabat is a really, really well-respected internationally capped centre-back. I understand maybe people are worried about the quality of Robert Sanchez for Chelsea's ambitions. But overall, I cannot get out of my head that I just feel like... You can't play Sanchez there for that one.

57:24No, you can't for that specific one, no. I'm just kind of talking more generally about how you defend against long throws. I can never get out of my mind the fact that these players should be better at dealing with this. They should be.

57:34Luke Moore: But as Jim said, I mean, if Garnett actually just tracks it and it's a simple clearance you would say I mean the whole long throw thing obviously Thomas Tuchel said that with England saying that you know long throws are back it's something we'll try and utilise which he then didn't tricksy Thomas Tuchel it was pointless he got a lot of stick for it unnecessarily I thought and they just didn't do it anyway launching it into the box against Andorra that would have been something and they didn't need to against Serbia Jim but long throws that led to goals increased from 0.03 % in 2020-21 to 0.38 % in 24-25 so there's been a slight increase I mean obviously that's a little bit people are talking about this because teams are doing it a little bit more now the simple thing is the more long throws you do the more you will score from long throws and suddenly it's like oh my goodness that's the thing no it's because you can handle the ball now again because there's no COVID anymore exactly you can take as many steps as you want you can actually run into the box and throw it but it's you know when we're going to talk about tactical trends and stuff with this on tomorrow's mailbag.

58:35Luke Moore: But I do find this funny how they've increased slightly and I suppose noticeably and suddenly people start going, oh my goodness, tactics are going back. It's like, well, no. It depends on the game situation. It depends on so much. So, you know, but just enjoy it while it lasts.

58:49Jim Campbell: Part of why Stoke used to do them, I think, was that even though, you know, you're not going to score from them that often in the grand scheme of things, but you are going to rattle your opponent and that affects the emotion. I think it depends. Personally irritated Arsene Binger. And me, actually.

59:03Luke Moore: I think it depends who you're playing against because clearly if Brentford thought that they've studied Chelsea and thought they actually look a bit suspect from balls into the box. Well, there you go, utilise the long throw. Whereas if you're playing against a team who are just gobbling it up. I also think there might be an element of it and maybe we are getting into the territory we're going to discuss tomorrow. But there could be an element of it where, you know, defensive players and goalkeepers are much more regularly chosen now for their ability with the ball at their feet. They don't eat up as many headers over and over again.

59:31If you go back to like 30 years where if you were a centre about 30 years ago, you're eating up balls all day. You don't do that now. It's not the experience, do they? It's just the nature of it. You're not as practised in it, and it mixes things up. And a lot of tactics... What's forgotten about a lot when talking about football is the idea is that the reason that managers decide on what tactics they decide on, whatever they are, is to give them the best chance of winning the game. Well, being unpredictable and doing things that maybe the opponent doesn't necessarily expect or hasn't practised or prepared for is generally a pretty sensible thing to do.

1:00:05So once people get wise to it, I'm sure it'll change again.

1:00:07Luke Moore: Indeed. West Ham nil, Spurs three. Ooh, a stinging loss at the London Stadium for West Ham, but a great one for Tottenham Hotspur, Jim Campbell. The Thomas Frank machine, or engine, should I say. The Thomas Frank project, I've been calling it, which sounds like a 90s trance act. Yes. Doesn't it? Yeah, I mean, they obviously lost to Bournemouth just before the international break, but they're back on track with a 3-0 win and a clean sheet. Yeah, comfortable. They just did the basic stuff

1:00:33Jim Campbell: far better than West Ham, which is all you need to do to beat West Ham at the moment. Have you got world-class basics, Jim, or not? Some days. Some days, yeah. Some days. I've not seen them. What days are they? Saturday and Sunday. I smashed getting out of bed today. I was going to say, he's fully dressed. Yeah. Well, you don't know that. I'm completely naked under my clothes. But I mean, the first goal for Tottenham, Sar is in so much space. He's unmarked at the back post at a corner. They cannot defend... It's actual schoolboy stuff. They've let in six corners this season, West Ham.

1:01:03Luke Moore: They've been poor. So if you are going to play against West Ham, get your long throws in, get your balls into the ball. Oh, absolutely. So to speak.

1:01:09Jim Campbell: Hermanson, the goalkeeper, obviously. The attendant goalkeeper. The attendant goalkeeper, not attending all that well. But there's quite a lot of chat between West Ham fans where, is he that tall? Is he not that tall? He's down as six foot two. There might be a wrestler's height, might be the under-judge situation. A build height. Are the problems this bad? They're lying about how big the goalkeeper is. One of the best goalkeepers in the league is tiny, with very short arms. So that's not really an excuse. I think it's just a bit of a baptism of fire for a goalkeeper not used to this level of football.

1:01:40Jim Campbell: And he just seems completely... He doesn't want to sort of come out of his goal. He doesn't want to stand on his line. He just gets stuck in his own little mini, like no man's land, really. And it's a really upsetting thing to see because he's letting them in. It's not been a successful signing so far.

1:01:54Luke Moore: By the way, just to jump in, if you were referencing Jordan Pickford earlier, I mean, he's 6 '1", isn't he? He's tiny. yeah although I said Donald Trump I was confused with the hands arms thing yeah and he is quite a big bloke but I mean the writing was on the wall for that goal earlier I mean Spurs probably seemed a bit hard done by Luke with that goal when it went in in the first half I mean the referee I think stopped it didn't he he did and so the referee called it had it have gone in would Villar have overturned it we'll never know I don't think it matters now but it was a bit of a scruffy one but whatever you may think of that decision you know Spurs win the game 3-0 and Sars scores that goal so it's very to ball.

1:02:28Luke Moore: Thomas Suchik was sent off though for what ended up being a nasty challenge on Joao Polini and I say that because he is you see the face he is going for the ball and of course it's really clumsy though. Well yeah but he's going for the ball trying to get his toe on but of course it's clumsy the way it ends up. I think it's also unfortunate. I don't think it was malicious but it's a red card though. Of course you can see what he's trying to do and there's a little bit of bad luck in there but if you do go in like that. Well Graham Potter's interpretation of the midfield players he wants to play it's just getting more and more weird like they've signed players presumably because they identified a problem that you can't play James Ward-Prowse and Thomas Suchek in a two against any Premier League team because you get completely overrun right he signs players anyway and then carries on playing them and then one of them just gets sent off it's like you can't play both of them together oh well wait I'll just play one of them then no that's not all we meant you need to bring someone else in they are astonishingly poor in that area And I can't believe that a manager with the tactical mind and the experience of Graham Potter can't see that.

1:03:33And there can't be an excuse for, oh, he's just got no one else because they've signed players. He's just not playing them.

1:03:38Luke Moore: And the window is shut. Although you can bring in players who are out of contract, of course. It's technically not really...

1:03:47Jim Campbell: Oh, good. Dele Alli's going to fix this.

1:03:49Luke Moore: Yeah, right. I say that, and you mentioned the goalkeeping situation. They have brought back Lukasz Fabianski three months after he left the club. yeah I mean a great shot in the arm for the confidence of Matt Hermanson who did make a really good save towards the end of the game by the way you missed that point Jim just made

1:04:04Jim Campbell: yeah 40 everyone's very excited everyone was very excited about the goalkeeper coming in but he's just and to be honest like is it Tadebo who was there last season and he sat on a on a permanent he got interviewed by Anton Ferdinand in the back of like a weird West Ham kind of fake taxi sort of interview show oh no and ever since did it go the way you wanted it it's just gone missing did it go the way you wanted it Well, I didn't watch the whole of it. I don't know. It might have been, yeah. You didn't want to put your age verification in there? Couldn't be asked to put your age verification in there.

1:04:32Jim Campbell: Did I tell you on the show that I managed to get past... It wasn't an adult website, but I used it. It was an adult website, but I did have to submit a photograph to an age verification thing, and I used that picture of Kukureya in a hospital bed asleep. And it worked! And it worked!

1:04:49Luke Moore: Don't give people tips for that sort of thing. See if you've got that picture. It works. I'm all for it. I'm okay for anyone besmirching the poor name of Mark Kukureya. Mark McGuire, yeah. Speaking of besmirchard names, Lord Shugsy had a big old dig, didn't he? He did, yeah. He called Jamie Redknapp a double-barrel idiot for saying that he left Spurs in a right mess when he left the club. I'll read you the tweet. Jamie Redknapp is a double-barrel idiot. He talks a load of rubbish. He said, we're Daniel Lee, we take over. Spurs, Alan Shuggy left the club in a right mess. He and Sky, block capitals, will be hearing from my lawyers Monday.

1:05:21Jim Campbell: How is he going to legal that? Just to have a big argument in court about how shit Stephen Averson was. He then, he doubled down with a second tweet which said, I'm coming after you at Mr. Jamie Redknapp, idiot, which is not actually the correct handle for Jamie Redknapp. I saw a really reasonable reply to that tweet from somebody who just said, Alan, just give the money to a worthy charity instead of getting wrapped up in legal fees. The nation's in a bad way as it is without listening to more childish arguments. Thank you.

1:05:49Luke Moore: It was Sukiya Stout. I'm not friends. Oh dear me. but I tell you what though the London Stadium was empty as the game needed full time again which is totally confusing to me and anyone who's ever been there because there's absolutely nothing to do outside of that stadium where are they going I think we all know where they're going

1:06:10Jim Campbell: on that Saturday there's no pubs around there Pete there's no pubs they're going in the centre of town going up west I live there oh yeah good point I forgot about that

1:06:19Luke Moore: get that out of the way I'm still not sure where Mourinho's going to pop up. I thought it was going to be West Ham, but with what Russell Martin's doing at Rangers. Yeah. I still think... It'll be one of the two. It's a big competition between the two, isn't it? Surely it's one of the two. This is going to get me in a lot of trouble, but I'm going to say it anyway. After Arsenal at the weekend, I'm going to say it anyway. I think that Mourinho still might think that Rangers is beneath him. Yeah. I think the Premier League is the allure. Oh, yeah. No, no, I think so. I don't think that's going to...

1:06:47Luke Moore: Yeah, I don't think that's a ridiculous thing to say. Yeah. Okay, good. I'm going to get in trouble with you. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Myself, Jim and Luke will be chatting more about Tottenham Hotspur, head of their Champions League return on tomorrow's Mailbag. Remember to subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you never miss an episode. There we are, everybody. Thank you very much. Luke Moore. Thank you. Thank you, Pete Donaldson. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you, Jim Campbell. Thank you. Thank you, the Premier League. We'll see you tomorrow for the Mailbag.

1:07:24Jim Campbell: The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

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