Have your Cape and eat it | 2026 FIFA World Cup

0:00I tell myself, it's not about comparing. But then I start wondering, what can they lift? Are they adding more weight to their barbell than I am? And suddenly, I'm not training. Then I realize, my journey is not theirs. I've earned every step. So I smile. My smile is the shape resilience takes to keep me moving. To put more smiles out into the world, Colgate has supported female athletes for over 50 years with the Colgate Women's Games, the nation's longest-running indoor track and field series for girls and women. Colgate, your smile is your strength. Think of a toilet as just an everyday object.

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3:08Jim Campbell: Depending on eligibility, you can get up to a$250 cash advance. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is sponsored by Boss, the businesswear provider for the US men's national soccer team. The biggest stage in soccer is set and the US men's national soccer team are ready to go on home soil. The eyes of the world will be on the team even when they're not on the pitch and because Boss is their businesswear provider, they're going to look great. Boss will be dressing the players and coach for their off-pitch moments in Boss performance tailoring. Forged by discipline, precision and the confidence to perform under pressure, BOSS and the USMNT are a perfect fit.

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4:25Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Monday 22nd of June. I am Pete Donaldson. I'm Jim Campbell. And I am the Duton Hunter Raja. Yes.

4:45Now, before we get started, this is your final reminder to get your ticket for tomorrow's England. Welcome, watch Barty at 40 Foot Brewery in Black Horse Road, North London. This one is going to be even hotter than the last one, so do not miss out on all the fun. We're going to have the official ramble, BMI Fizzy Ant on tap. And if you bother Marcus enough, he might even buy you an ice cream. Did you try the ice creams, Vish? I did not, no. I didn't try the tacos either, but they look delicious.

5:09Jim Campbell: What? Yeah, the tacos were great. I didn't get an ice cream, but I'm going back for one. Presumably because you didn't have Access to Marcus's debit card What we need to do is just Everybody tries to get an ice cream out of him It's like well you bought Pete one And then he's down 50 quid And he'll never get over it Wouldn't it not make more sense to clone his card Oh yeah that's not a bad idea We should just hand out his debit card And to be honest if I was going to learn how to do that I'd go straight to Pete Have we got an iZettle? Have we got one of those little machines? I think we do, we do have one We just keep on going up to Marcus and tap in tap out on his on his little bum.

5:43Yes, anyway, click the link on the show notes and grab your ticket now. My partner's actually going to be coming down so if you'd like to witness Peter wedding vibes, levels of drunkenness, do join us for tomorrow's big event.

5:56Jim Campbell: So you're going to be like less well behaved? Yeah, exactly. Less well behaved than I was last time. Amazing. Because someone you love is there. Correct. Nice. I got on Father's Day yesterday, I got a little t-shirt with my family. A little embroidered shirt That's really nice. It really says a lot about so many things that I just did not associate you with Father's Day. No, yeah, it's mad, isn't it? Yeah, I'm exactly the same. I mean, to be honest, I did have terrible diarrhoea. I spent my whole time on the toilet. And there it is. In Miami, an astonishing match in which Kate Verde bagged a point against previous winners, Uruguay.

6:31Jim, are they going to get through this bloody group? I hope so. I'm so into the cape.

6:36Jim Campbell: They are. Get a cape, wear a cape, let's enjoy the football. they're not here to lump it are they? no and I suppose you know this is perhaps quite patronising because they qualified really really well and I think you know people are looking at them as you know a team at their first World Cup and thinking of them as perhaps being a bit less you know competent than they are because clearly they're a really really good footballing team and I've enjoyed watching them a lot this was quite different from the game against Spain wasn't it where they committed one foul like minutes in Uruguay were like we are not going to let you get away with that they were at their Uruguayan best really, really early on.

7:11Jim Campbell: Loads of shithousing, loads of kind of, just all the little kind of, the kind of little bits of gamesmanship that you expect from them and that we enjoy from them. But not quite as much violence as usual. No, it wasn't particularly violent, was it? It was just a lot of, you know, a lot of exaggerated dives and a lot of, just those little things you expect. I quite enjoyed Agustin Canobio in general. He feels like, almost like a, like a satirical version of Claudio Canesia that you might see in Viz or something like that. He is like the archetypal kind of Uruguayan, South Americans, slightly flary, slightly tough, kind of long-haired player.

7:49Jim Campbell: Beautiful eyes. Beautiful eyes, long hair, angry. Very terrible. You said you didn't want to patronise Kev Verde there. I'm probably going to patronise them by saying as much as I enjoyed how they try to play because it feels like when you watch them play against someone, you're getting the best of both of them to a point yeah yeah devastatingly handsome yes they are aren't they I know Vizinho got a lot of the I want to say credit yeah yeah but like I think he's maybe he's out mogging the other team are they looks maxing yeah are they the most looks maxing team at the World Cup but it looked but like Uruguay aren't an ugly team as well on that front but it was almost like they took offence to that because yeah as you were saying it wasn't necessarily that they were shithousing by kicking them but they were very physical and there was a point where I thought Cape Verde weren't going to be able to live with them.

8:39I suppose we'll come onto the equaliser but that's an absolute gift for them. But I feel like Cape Verde they kind of deserved it for wanting to play. Yeah. Yeah I mean obviously like you say Cape Verde did have the lead for about 15 minutes. Kevin Pena's free kick went in after going through the wall. Is it fair to say that the Uruguay keeper just isn't Muslera isn't quick enough to play like Bielsa needs him to play? he seems very reluctant or just unable to get off his line quick enough for stuff.

9:10Jim Campbell: Maybe, but I think with that free kick in particular the wall would just like... Not helpful. Really? It's like an automatic door. What was going on there? I mean, to be fair to Muslero he must be about 103? Yeah, pretty much. He's been around forever. He's 100 years old. Well, Luis Suarez is looking on very sad in the stands. Oh no. He offered to play, didn't he, as well? He offered his services to the squad and Bielsa said, no, thank you. I mean, he fell out with Canobbio because of the way he was sitting in a meeting, didn't he? So I think Luis Suarez probably doesn't want that at his age, right?

9:45Yeah. I mean, is it fair that Bielsa's hard work and sacrifice over everything isn't going down well with his team? There is always that end bit with all managers, but specifically for the likes of Bielsa and even Guardiola, to a point, who really drill their players. and I've always thought there's a level of affection that people have that it's Bielsa including his players because it's like you know this man shouting at me for not running I've like lost 10 kilos in the last three months because he won't let me stop running he's wearing glasses and carrying a carrier bag like maybe I should let him off like maybe you know you wouldn't have a go at someone in glasses holding a carrier bag

10:22Jim Campbell: is that still a thing that you can't be mean to people with glasses because I'm going to talk to HR it's not been my experience Jim yeah but the obviously in the World Cup everything's a bit more heated that's not that's just fundamentally not a good result for them and they're not a good Uruguay side they're not are they and that really stands out they don't feel particularly vintage I mean they'll probably bastard their way through this group but yeah they haven't certainly kind of taken off I think you know they've often been a team that are dependent on their really really big players stepping up and I suppose it's fair to say that you know Valverde and Estevel Verde has not quite done that yet and he's the guy you'd be looking at I'm surprised Darwin Nunes doesn't start as well to be honest yeah well I guess Nunes isn't really starting for his club side I guess that will be it yeah it's kind of the seasoning that you didn't think he's getting here's a little stat for you which is very interesting the Cape Verde have never lost a competitive fixture against a side that's won a World Cup huh ever that's amazing in their history how many of them have they played well I mean you must have played a few They played Spain.

11:30They played Uruguay now. They haven't played Arsev though.

11:35Jim Campbell: No, I think we would have noticed that one. Yeah, but that is quite odd that so far at this World Cup, they have only played previous World Cup winners. They're not messing around, are they? They are doing this the hard way and they've not been beaten. It's absolutely amazing. Absolutely amazing. And so obviously that Saudi Arabia game, they've got to be targeting that as a win. After the first game, you're wondering, have they got goals in them? And obviously the free kick was brilliant, but the goalkeeper's at fault. And the second goal comes from a mistake. that they've capitalised on really, really well.

12:00Jim Campbell: But there were a couple of times in this game where they got a bit nosebleedy, didn't they? When it looked like they could maybe have made a better pass or been a bit quicker to react to a shot and whatnot and perhaps scored again. But I think you grow into a tournament, everyone always says it, they'll be buoyed by this, so much confidence, especially when they've gone 1-0 up and then it goes back to 2-1 and it's Uruguay and you're thinking, oh God, this feels like it's only going to go one way. And they still don't lose the game. That's really, really impressive stuff. they could also have quite a crisp route in without having to score really because Uruguay plays Spain next yes of course they're both on Uruguay and Cape Verde are both on two points they hold Saudi Arabia they can qualify in second place with just three points yeah he's getting it yeah that's great love that that's what we want for the Cape there was a great really Uruguayan moment in this wasn't it early on it was for Uruguay's equaliser when Telmo Telmo Alcanjo his name is was had Krempe and Federico Venus the Uruguay player was helping him which is odd during the game anyway it's surprising to see an opposition player do that I think the referee the referees I don't know what's happened but the referees are refusing to stop the game at any moment for anything so I think the players are just kind of looking after each other that's quite a bad shout but yeah he goes to pick him up doesn't he and he's like oh shit no sorry he just drops his leg and runs off to join him with the attack and then they score that is fair I think that's absolutely fair of course it is I run a best endeavour cramp, you know, removal service.

13:30If I go on throw on goal, I'm going to get involved. Did you see that the BBC were interviewing a fan in Kit Verde the moment that they scored their opener? Do you want to hear the audio? It's a good one. What's your appraisal of the way the Kiberian team has been playing so far? My personal thing so far, Cabo Verde has been playing great. He's been matching Uruguay's pressure. He's got to go. He's got to go.

14:16Oh, wow. Great stuff. It really is good stuff, isn't it? We also had Vizinha's mum as well in the stand celebrating after missing the opening game due to visa difficulties, but she was bopping away when they scored their two goals. They've just, I know, like you said, they qualified, topped their group, you know, beaten some decent teams, but it's just, it's just lovely to see it.

14:38Jim Campbell: Yeah, it is. There's a wholesomeness to it that is a welcome kind of contrast to a lot of the other stuff that's going on, I suppose, isn't it? Yeah, before we wrap up, we have to really sort of, on this match, certainly, we have to talk about that sort of penalty shout at the end for Cape Verde. like they didn't have two goals at getting the player down Nuno Da Costa was just side down twice should it have been a pen?

15:02I know he'd sort of already made the pass but they'd had two good goals at him with two different players

15:07Jim Campbell: I personally think that he got the ball I think the first one's not quite you know robust enough to meet the threshold of being a foul I think the second one gets the ball yeah I think like if you add it all if you add them together you come up to to one foul but separately I don't think so okay fine so free kick yeah indirect free kick in the box yeah well we hope the kit Verde I think we speak for everyone on the football rumble we hope the kit Verde get through in Atlanta spin for Saudi Arabia nil spin getting their first win of the tournament it's a bit more like it Jim isn't it yeah I mean and that is exactly how it felt wasn't it because Spain when they're on song like this are just an absolute joy to watch and they really put in a very particularly kind of Spanish brand of gubbing on Saudi.

15:56Jim Campbell: In the commentary, there was a point where it was 1-0 and they said it was 1-0 going on 3-0 and that was absolutely right and quite often those performances don't necessarily translate into a big scoreline and actually 4-0 sort of flatters Saudi Arabia a bit, doesn't it? It seems by the end of it that Spain could have had more than that. They did sort of get their business done early which I think was very useful for them but yeah, there was a lot of talk obviously about Luminium starting the game. I came off, half time I think and he he'd only played 90 minutes in the first game he scored 10 minutes in his first World Cup start but for me it's not really about it's about his reputation that does so much good work for Spain because he's in the side from the start and people just really concentrate on him and he just drags players into space he drags loads of players into space to give the rest of the team a bit more room to manoeuvre and Spain love a bit of room to manoeuvre yeah and he's also a player who's comfortable with a couple of men on him isn't he you still sort of back in to get past those men so it's an absolute nightmare to defend against I thought some of Spain's kind of intricate play in those first two goals was really impressive like Ojazabal's first one I know it's basically kind of top to bottom quite poor defending from Saudi Arabia but it was so kind of clinical and kind of really it was just really really deft, clever possessional play from Spain in terms of the way they zip that ball around in the box like from a sort of set piece situation with so many bodies in there just it was really really intricate stuff and I mean the goal of the game didn't actually happen for me I think that was when Ojazabal almost lobbed the goalkeeper with the outside of his boot from the edge of the box when the goalkeeper had misplaced the pass and it bounces off the top of the bar I mean that would have that might have been the goal of the tournament had it gone in off the underside of the bar I don't think anyone's catching that yeah yeah I'd be well annoyed if I was both Oyathaba and Speller because...

17:53Oh yeah, he's got the pick for the little boot, hasn't he? Yeah, he's got two goals. He gets dragged at half-time. He's like, this is my Solenko moment. I could really nail these. This is my Harry Kane's Caps moment, isn't it, really?

18:04Jim Campbell: I know not everyone around this table or of the people who regularly sit around this table enjoys work, but I quite liked old Jim Henson's Mark Kukurea forcing an own goal. Yes, okay. That's very much his energy, isn't it? Yeah, he's one of those players who, you know, has succeeded at the highest level, but he always feels like, maybe it is just the hair, he just always feels he's got a rick in him. I think it's the hair and him, like he falls over a lot, and also people push him over a lot, because they just can't seem to help themselves, as we've discussed many times. It's just always chaos, isn't it?

18:38Jim Campbell: Yeah, he brings the chaos, so you can understand why people are scoring own goals around him. I'd love to see a team full of players with that hair, because they always transmit that energy you know him David Luiz Valt Fass Matteo Guendouzi Argentinian Newcastle defender Colocini Colocini yeah nice that seemed to be more of a defender's haircut that wasn't it yeah as you were talking through it I was like Guendouzi's probably the most attacking player there yeah we put in Valderrama in there but even then he was more of a holder wasn't he get in touch are there any big head strikers and Fraggle Rock 11 I think the strikers just go straight to cornrows They just go, I have to get the cornrows Andy Carroll included Or Fellaini But then you'd be in that situation Where they'll compete for the same header And they'll end up tied together I want that Make a rat king by the end of it Oh absolutely Mark Cucuraya would be excellent in a football rat king Yeah that's true He'd be the chippy front man for the rat king He'd fit in He'd fit in actually he's the first person to gnaw someone else's leg off isn't he let's be honest but I mean looking forward to where Spain will obviously find themselves in the knockouts it's hard to know where Spain are in a situation like this because Saudi Arabia were poor in this match as I said they were forcing on goals and you just sort of think that this is a little bit better but we still don't know where Spain are in their kind of tournament yeah I think so because obviously Saudi Arabia weren't much of an opposition for them.

20:13Jim Campbell: I think they probably got their silly performance out of the way against Cape Verde. Obviously, you have to credit Cape Verde for how they held Spain off, but Spain will be disappointed with it. Uruguay is more of a test, isn't it? But I would think this is Spain really just tuned up now. At the start of this game, I did wonder, is Spain going to be one of those teams you just inexplicably don't turn up, as you see sometimes, but clearly not. And I'm glad that that's the case as well, because they are one of those teams that I always look forward to watching in the tournament, and they've delivered here and suggested that they're going to be the best version of themselves rather than that.

20:45Jim Campbell: Do you remember that game? I think it was against Russia in 2018 where Spain's performance almost looked like a sarcastic kind of representation of what Spain teams play like where it was all possession with no penetration and it actually looked slightly ridiculous. There's none of that. No, they look a bit more penetrative. Did you say that one of the FIFA officials who sat behind Infantino was just absolutely nodding off during the game? he was done it was like you know like how people have been defending Donald Trump recently when he does his little Oval Office snoozers and they sort of said he just did a long blink this is one of those long blinks a long blink Marco Rubio going I didn't see him sleeping you fucking did you talking and looking into his eyes with your clothes you liar but yeah this guy was absolutely out you would be though in that heat imagine the sight bit of jet lag bit of heat a big buffet a big dinner probably had a big dinner If you're a FIFA kind of executive, you don't really care about football, do you?

21:43Jim Campbell: You probably don't really like it that much. That's the worst bit. Yeah, the best bit was, you know, all the bungs to get it to America. Exactly. Once that's done, like, where is it? Yeah, it's like being a shipping magnate. You're really rich, but you don't care about boats. No, all the things that are on them. Before we go for a break, chaps, we spoke a few days ago about the story that Cosmic Charlies in Toronto, are you familiar? They'd been served a seasoned assist order by FIFA by making a bong in the shape of the World Cup. And now fans of the World Cup have now been filmed smoking from a replica of the trophy.

22:17Which is great. They've made their own World Cup bong. Well, this is brilliant because you see other cups, for example, the FA Cup, people drink out of it. Yes. And you can't do that with this World Cup. No, because it's not a cup. Exactly. And they found the purpose for it.

22:33Jim Campbell: It is more of a bong, isn't it? Should we not be calling it the World Bong? The World Bong. Yes. Do you not think... I mean, so they've made this massive... I mean, it's a joint that they've made out of presumably a lot of weed. It's World Cup-sized, this monstrosity they've created. It's World Cup-sized, and it's World Cup-shaped, and they're just basically setting fire to the top of it. So presumably they're sort of sucking from the base. I mean, it looks absolutely abhorrent. It looks like a horrible time. It does look like a horrible time. The World Cup trophy is horrible to look at. I've said that before.

23:04Yeah, you have, actually. I mean, if you need a blowtorch to light it as well. Yeah, which these people did. If you need to bring butane to your drug abuse, you know, it's not ideal. If I didn't go out of the smoking area of a bar, and anyone got any butane, mine's out. I just smoke my World Cup bong. That would absolutely put me on my arse, for crying out loud. Yeah, that would send me into a few different dimensions. Exactly.

23:24Jim Campbell: So do not bring one tomorrow. Do you have one, anyone? No. What are the bifter rules of Waltham store? Is it stint by stint? I don't know, to be honest. It's a trading estate, you'll get away with it. coming up after this we've got an important dog update woof woof

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25:45Explore further at rangerover.com. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked, and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters.

26:22With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash ACAST. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash ACAST.

26:48Oh dear, look at these creepers. Ha ha ha ha. Good stuff. Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Two dogs. Two dogs. The people who made... It was an Alcopop, wasn't it? It was an Alcopop, two dogs, wasn't it? Yeah, it was like a competitor to Hooch. Oh, right, okay. It was a different product. Or maybe it was the same company with a monopoly. Who knows? Either way, these two dogs have been drinking the two dogs and they've been... The two dogs were filmed pissing on the screen during a public screening of Mexico versus South Korea. Yeah. It was in Mexico. Two dogs are just sort of walking in front of the screen, which is bad enough.

27:19Jim Campbell: The screen's on a stage, isn't it? The screen's like one of those big, really expensive, four grand a higher kind of pop, you know, big LED sort of matrix screens. And yeah, a dog just absolutely lets loose on it. Well, both dogs do it, don't they? Oh, right, I didn't see the second one. Do it. Yeah, because they're hanging out together. Sometimes you see stray dogs in places like that where they've got a mate. Sometimes they're wearing trousers. Sometimes they're wearing trousers. They all look very similar, don't they? Because they all live on the streets and they're all the busiest dogs you're ever going to see.

27:50Jim Campbell: They're always going somewhere, doing something. They've got a lot on, clearly. Yeah, exactly. I think they're possibly like the cats from Top Cat, where they're an organised street gang who dedicate their time to being con artists and bullying a particular policeman. Who knows? We don't know. We can't speak their language. But yeah, these were excellent dogs. And I don't know if you're going to point this out yourself, Pete, but it has been pointed out on X by Ian that you did predict a very specific Mexican dog would be spotted during the tournament. And we've had two already. Yeah, but it's not a specific Mexican dog.

28:22It's two random street dogs.

28:23Jim Campbell: Pete, but it's very rare that someone other than Marcus gets to do the I was right section. Right, okay, yeah. So I think you should lean into this. Comments and clarifications. I was right. A dog was seen missing on a screen. What's the, Jim and Vish, best places you've been for stray dogs? Mexico is pretty good. Right, yeah. Possibly Dalyan in Turkey. There are a lot of very, very cool stray dogs. Quite a few cats around there, isn't there? Puppies. Yeah, Turkey is very cat-played. Dharam Shala, actually, near the Himalayas. Because they're stray dogs, and because of the temperature, because it's generally cold there, they're fluffy stray dogs.

29:06Yeah, yeah. They've got a bit fur to them, they're very cute. I'm just staggered still that you refuse to take that as a win. No, I'm not. You seek perfection in the wind.

29:18Jim Campbell: Are you after like a specific dog that you've met before? Yeah, I spoke about it. It was a specific dog that was at a... He invaded a pitch and became a famous Mexican dog. Oh, the one they interviewed at the end of the game. The one they interviewed at the end of the game. I want him at one of the Mexico-based matches. He probably got destroyed after that. You disrespect the Mexican game. He's been usurped by the duck, hasn't he? Yeah, completely agree. I saw some people smoking him with some butane.

29:49Belgium nil Iran nil 10-man Belgium are held by Iran

29:55Jim Campbell: not in a nice way not in a not in a pleasant way not in a comfort way yeah I mean it was it's turned into Argo oh god Nathan Goy was sent off for a dog's or denial of a goal scoring opportunity I mean he was miles away and the free kick came to zip anyway I mean it was a red card it was a red card but it wasn't a dog's or I mean it was a red car for being a C but it wasn't a dogzo it was a dogzo in theory wasn't it but you're right it would have been the XG was law yes especially as an Iranian forward in that position it's been a world cup of dogzo is that the fourth one it's a celebrity dogzo I'm having that yeah a lot of dogzo a lot of dogzo is being spotted what I want is your specific dog to come on and deny a goal scoring opportunity yeah like a guest referee dogzo dogzo he basically judges whether it's he puts his little thumb up the one that they have halfway up their arm they go up or down to sort of say yes or no to a dog zoo so in cricket when you score no it's called a duck and in Australia when a player gets a duck they have a cartoon duck that comes on screen and accompanies them off the field nice if we had a real dog whenever there was a dog zoo to accompany the player who's just been sent off for a dog zoo the little sausage dog that's on the insurance oh the vitality one yeah yeah it sort of draws you off I didn't pop out the screen somehow.

31:16A really fat one because you know how those sausage dogs like waddle? Yes. Yeah. Their back legs are rickety. Oh shit sausage dogs. Hateful animals.

31:24Jim Campbell: They just can't believe how ridiculous they are. Yeah. And all they've got to do about it is scream at everyone. Yeah. The referee should have it in a little sort of pouch on his back and plonk it down and chase the dog zoo criminal off off the field. Criminal. Criminal. The thing is if it's a sausage dog it's going to be freaking out the whole game. Yeah. actually, yeah, maybe that's all right. Little pug wheezing in your ear and your back. You just need someone to foul someone when they're through on goal. But I mean, obviously Iran had a, we'll go back to the match, Belgium had a round mill.

31:58Iran had a goal ruled out for offside because a player's bomb was offside. We hate to see it. His head and his feet were onside. I think even if your bum

32:05Jim Campbell: is offside, it's your bum. Yeah. You know, if you can score with your bum, fine. Yeah, it's very hard to deliver your score from a bum anyway. Exactly. So just enjoy using your bum for good or evil. It seems like such an easy win with offsides, that, doesn't it? We're always talking about how to change the rules so that we disallow fewer goals. But I think the body part that you score with is the only bit that should be considered offside, right? That you traditionally scored with. Yeah, well, exactly. His feet were onside. He scored with his foot. That should be fine. And it was a tidy sort of little idea that really sort of saw Belgium off for him.

32:39Jim Campbell: They were like, oh, shit, balls. Exactly. I think Belgium are quite shit I don't think it's controversial but shit and old shit and old exactly yeah they're a transitional team that can't quite seem to work out what they want to do or how to do it Lukaku looks about as rusty as you know it is possible to be as a footballer I would suggest even though he obviously forced an on goal in the first one just by his very presence but that felt like reputation over actual actually anything he was doing in the match but he's not fully fit he's not fully fit and it's kind of like even if he was fully fit and he was turning performances like that you'd be like God Ronaldo's stealing all the headlines here about all the past footballers are insisting on playing he's got an incredible record for Belgium only four players in the history of the men's game have scored more goals in international football than Romelu Lukaku wow it's crazy isn't it to that extent yeah and also all against Wales he's played for so long as well and I mean that was a sad thing about it like watching De Bruyne and being like still a classy player but nowhere near his best and the idea that they're just trying to cling on to all that.

33:45They should, you know, they'll obviously make changes going into the final group game. But I kind of, as I was watching that game, I was thinking, I really, you know, I picked Netherlands as my biggest disappointment at the World Cup. But Belgium were right in front of us. Yeah. And it feels like they've been overlooked in that department.

34:04Jim Campbell: I think it's because I considered Belgium as well, but I thought the expectation on them isn't particularly high. so this isn't that much of a surprise is it I thought Iran denied them space really well and they struggled with that and actually you know when Belgium went down to 10 I don't think it's necessarily suited Iran to be the team with the attacking impetus they weren't particularly coherent in their decision making were they yeah but they did get really excited about it they did I just think yeah like a dog from dog side like a dog from dog side the whole Schengen kind of area was just letting everyone down in this tournament.

34:42But hang on. And we've always said that. We've always said that. We've always said that. The Iranian keeper, Bjergen van Vand, made seven saves, including, save the tournament, Jim, so far. On the floor, prostrate, just sticks his hand out. And he hits it so hard as well.

34:58Jim Campbell: Just not today, isn't it? Not today. He looks amazing. He's got so much presence, that guy. Do you know, he plays in Iran for Tractor. Wow. Wow. is that a farmer's league you run well you'd assume so but you know with the arse and his team we've got a tractor and a dump truck nice yeah it's just a team full of automobiles they are quite industrial yeah yeah as I said with that red cards it takes the red cards total red cards at the tournament to eight now the same amount as Russia and Qatar combined come on it's a bad boys for life tournament I love it but But at the same time, it seems like the referees are sort of letting things go.

35:42Yeah, you made this point. And it does feel like you might look back on this World Cup and think, oh, God, you know, the referees are a bit pernickety there. And it's like, actually, they weren't. They've been really... Messi's rake for one. Yeah. It's conspiracy theory to sort of say that, you know, that maybe they didn't look at that again because it was Leo Messi. I think, you know, I think there's probably something in that. Yeah. Given that how much of, you know, how much of World Cups you need headline acts. you look back at Zidane's red card in the 98 World Cup proper, put him out for a few games, there's no way that happens in a world where he is like final form Zidane as it were, because even though he's stamped on someone's chest well, Leo Messi will be taken on Austria later on, and an 85 foot Lionel Messi statue has been unveiled in Argentina, have you seen this monstrosity?

36:36Jim Campbell: I have, yeah, that is not that much shorter than the Colossus of Rhodes. Yeah, it's absolutely huge. I feel like sometimes statue makers, they either go with small and inaccurate or they go with big and inaccurate. But because it's so big, people go, yeah, but it's fucking big though, isn't it? It is big. It's also the aesthetic of it. It's great, isn't it? It looks like kind of, you know when video games do sort of cell shading to make it look like a cartoon? It looks a little bit like that. Well, it's got an Argentina shirt on, which is sky blue and white. But Messi himself is grey. Like he's a big rock troll.

37:13Very washed out. He looks very, very washed out indeed. Well, going back to this match, Jeremy Docky, who Belgium probably could have done with, to be honest, he missed the game due to a respiratory illness. Ask my team! Yeah! Wheezy boys! He's also been criticised for saying that he would like to leave the camp for the birth of his first child. How dare you? Should Belgium make the quarterfinals? A couple of Le Keeper journalists have covered themselves in glory with their think pieces on the matter. I think one woman's been sort of banned from broadcasting on their team. I think she apologised, didn't she?

37:48As well she should because she was saying ridiculous stuff.

37:51Jim Campbell: I think another frustrating thing about this as well is how when a row like this breaks out and lots of people start talking about it on social media, lots of outlets then report on the row because the things that happen online become news in a way that they just really don't need to. No. it's like sort of quite light cultural stuff isn't it it's chasing clicks isn't it yeah absolutely and it's it's Doku's choice and that's the end of it yeah if he wants to be a wheezing turncoat exactly exactly probably couldn't get up the stairs of the hospital with all of his asthma David Beckham-Waden I noticed is saying nothing is as important as the birth of your first child he doesn't even like Brooklyn I don't know why he's didn't they have a massive falling out yeah Brooklyn doesn't like I thought Brooklyn was first.

38:35Oh, yeah, it's a good point, actually, yeah. But, you know, Cruz and... Has he done Romeo? Catching strays. I'm in a terrible time. Yes, Norway... He's got four, hasn't he? Yeah. Has he got four? Yeah, he's got Harper. Oh, he has got Harper. That's right. Sorry, Harper. I'm sorry. I'm not your dad. You can deal with yourself. Norway sent... Enjoy the... Rolls-Royce. Norway sent a back. Leo Ostergaard has revealed that he watched the birth of his son on FaceTime while in the US for the World Cup. Imagine sort of like happening upon Leo Ostergaard's phone What are you watching there Leo? Oh my god Leo what are you into you brother?

39:10You're a bad guy That guy's awful

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42:00Elsewhere in the tournament Let's move on to New Zealand 1 Egypt 3 A match Deep in the middle of the fucking night Yeah Not having it Not having it Egypt came from behind to earn their first ever World Cup win Their first ever World Cup appearance Was back in 1934 Which seems absolutely insane What have they been up to? Well I don't get it because like They've obviously got a lot of money sloshing around their domestic game Do their players just not leave as often because there's enough money there to not get seasoned? I don't know. They should have done this before now.

42:34Jim Campbell: I can't say I'm particularly clued into Egyptian football enough to know why this has been such a sort of problem for them for such a long time. But obviously they've been the African champions many, many times. They've had a lot of good players over the years and, you know, in recent years as well. it's always been this mad situation that's such a discrepancy between their continental performances and their World Cup performances. It's amazing for them to finally get this. It puts them in a really good position to get through to the next round as well. I was quite gutted for New Zealand because to go ahead it looked like they actually might pull off something quite amazing here, especially when you look at that mad record that Egypt have got.

43:12Jim Campbell: But it was like the final straw for them, wasn't it? It's like, no, we're not having this. It's such a good header as well for Simon. But also you know I suppose one of the reasons we're a bit surprised about Egypt's record is because of how many players have come through our game in the Premier League and it was quite cool to see them collectively flex in that second half the fact that Salah gets that second goal as well to put them ahead It wasn't great apart from that moment you would say. No but it was like it feels you know from having been the problem with Egypt previously being they were quite stagnant and too reliant on Salah to his detriment you know with Mahmoud there Zico they're more attacking talent obviously Trezeguet comes on and gets the third but it feels like they can carry him a bit more than they used to and for him to get that goal in that way and the celebrations and stuff like that it felt like a real moment for them definitely well he's two goals away from becoming Egypt's all-time leading goal scorer trying to overtake the manager of Egypt Osama-san which is oh he's going to get dropped he's going to get dropped sob him off sob him off when he's close to He's throwing on goal.

44:18The manager's encroaching on the pitch. Yellow card. Send on the dog. Send on the dog. Send on the vitality dog. Crying out loud.

44:25Jim Campbell: The first Egypt goal from Mustafa Zico, the header, the goalkeeper, the New Zealand goalkeeper, I really feel sorry for him because he moves just slightly the wrong way and when he resets himself, he gets a kind of weak hand on it. And then he just sort of falls back into the net in slow motion as he realises what's happened. Horrible. How did my foot get in a bucket? So do you think, are you giving him that one or do you think it was a keeper error? I think it is a keeper error. Yeah, it looked awful. The best bit of the World Cup is when you see people who don't normally consume any football at all just suddenly experience the World Cup for the first time and there's quite a few sort of like odd conspiracy theorist Americans who kind of...

45:06You're joking. Well, who are obsessed with how long Chris Wood's... What kind of teeth are those? Incisors. Incisors. how long his incisors are and they think he's a human vampire. Sorry. People think Chris Wood is a vampire.

45:20Jim Campbell: He's a vampire, yeah. He's got quite long incisors. I'm not on the same bits of Reddit that you are. I know, I know. You started that making it sound like it was someone sat near you in a pub. He's a vampire. You've had to go looking for that. He could go out in a day, but he is one. I just saw a few people talking about it. It just made me giggle, that's all. And that is how it gets in the running order when daddy's in charge. did you see that New Zealand's Ben Old had to leave the pitch because he had a hole in the front of his shorts yeah I did see that that was good his old Ben Old chap was in danger of being exposed in danger of being revealed yeah it was it was about as it was about as bad as it gets for torn shorts isn't it yeah it's hardly like Dan's trousers kind of exploding kind of vibes it was like your penis I can see the fabric that's containing your penis he had undercrackers on he did have undercrackers on yeah but it could be just a mesh lining I like a mesh lining when I play football really It's more of a swimming short thing, isn't it?

46:13Even then, I don't love it. So you don't wear underwear when you play football? No, I basically wear swim shorts. Why? They're so restrictive. Yeah, but swim shorts have pockets, and you can sometimes have... What do you mean pockets when you're playing football? Right, because I remember doing an 11-a-side, completing an entire match, and I had... The pockets were like a mesh, and I'd put a£10 knot in there. So I was running around... To bribe the referee. Yeah, a really visible£10 knot. and we won the match and there was a couple of dodgy referee decisions so I think he just knew that a bribe was on the cards.

46:46Jim Campbell: Yeah, he had his eye on it. So there we go. Did you take the money and put it in his top pocket? Put it in his top pocket. There you go. Give it all back, send him on his way. Get a showy pre. Yeah, thousands of fans gathered to watch this game in Cairo despite it being at 4am local time. Good vibes has to be said. The scenes looked amazing as well, the aerial photos. They had two half footballs on either side of the screen illuminated. They look genuinely quite tastefully done. Especially in that part of the world, especially in that country, the ruling party must be like, what are you doing?

47:19It's 4am, everyone's assembling. What's happening? Tonight, Norway take on Senegal. It's been reported that the Norway chefs have had over 400 kilograms of fish and cheese imported to their US World Cup base so players don't have to rely on American food. Fish, you're a man of the fork, so to speak. I like that. Yeah, you can have it. are we talking about I mean I understand the fish thing I just understand you know USDA I don't necessarily trust them all the time there's a lot of it's not salmonella chicken floating around but the cheese it's that horrible brown sweet stuff isn't it oh yeah the brunost the Norwegian brown cheese that you can't get I'm not familiar with this I'm gonna get you some yeah some sweet cheese it's like caramelised cheesy milk I know what you mean I've never had it either so well that's what we're doing on the next show we're going to go to the Scandinavian cafe, I'm going to buy you some brown sweet cheese.

48:14Imagine how much that shipment smells though. Yeah, yeah. And also, maybe it's more of an Italian thing about not having cheese with fish. Yes. Is that a faux pas? I had no idea. I think maybe specifically in Italy or certainly parts of Italy. But then you think about it, the filet of fish. That's got cheese, isn't it? Maybe they're bringing it over to make their own filet of fish.

48:36Jim Campbell: Like a really, really high class Filet-O-Fish. Yeah, but like one really fucking big one. That maybe the Messi statue would eat. A big roll mop made out of a whale. You know, sometimes you see it in the Guinness Book of World Records, like someone's made the biggest stromboli. They're going to make the biggest Filet-O-Fish. What's stromboli? Is it meat? How would you describe it? It's like... Is it like gabaguru? No, so it's meat. It's like a pizza pocket thing. Oh, it's just cheese on toast. Most things are cheese on toast. It's basically a glorified toasty, yeah. Speaking of eating... A toasty's already glorious, so that must be brilliant.

49:16Eating gopping nonsense. Andros Townsend posted a video of himself eating steak tartare from a Tupperware box while working at the tournament, basically saying, look, there's no excuse to eat tartare. You can prepare meals for yourself. He's calling that homemade steak tartare. I'm calling it just chunks of meat and rice. I mean it was just raw chunks of raw it's crossed the line from a thing that could be cut out of you like a biopsy to you know big operation you know what I mean go to sleep operation rather than local anaesthetic in my opinion

49:47Jim Campbell: I mean I'm quite impressed with him to be honest I know he wants me to be impressed I like him as a pundit I just fear he's sort of going down that manosphere pipeline that we all know you're going to be like what's his name the little pea Chicharito

50:05Jim Campbell: Chicharito's Manosphere output is obviously horrendous because of what it is but the aesthetic of it is hilarious isn't it? Because of the voice he uses His voice No but he uses this translation app I don't know if it's YouTube or Instagram he's basically used an automated translator for his Instagram output and he does all of this, you know, women should stay in the kitchen bollocks right? But the English voice the algorithm has given him is Hi everybody Hey It's so unbelievably weird But I mean yeah He's an idiot But I understand I just feel like He might find himself In a place I don't want him to be in Because I thought I loved him as a footballer I love him as a pundit But I just fear He's going to get lung worms And go insane I think he's always Been into I suppose Different foods Self-improvement Well look Do you remember To prolong his career He started eating chicken feet That's right Because of all the collagen And stuff like that I see yeah But also, you love a steak tartare, don't you?

51:03I do love a steak tartare, but that's not a steak tartare, is it? Which is why you're annoyed. It's just big chunks of beef. Didn't you have one, was it one weekend you had nothing but steak tartare? Was that a holiday? Yeah. You had like six in two days. It was an all-inclusive that had steak tartare on offer for every meal.

51:18Jim Campbell: All-inclusive on offer. On offer. What's the story there? I don't know. Were they just offering to sell you like offal? Yeah. Like bits of scrap? Pretty much that. Were they also like, we keep making these burgers to cook. They keep getting snaffled. Some decent matches in the World Cup this evening. As mentioned, Norway, Senegal, Argentina, Austria, France, Iraq, and Jordan, Algeria. Jim? Yep. What's the news? Keir Starmer has resigned. Keir Starmer's gone. It's not quite the same as when a manager goes, is it? No. Does anybody know what Andy Burnham stands for? That's two prime ministers I will have interviewed now.

51:57Ooh. Wow. The other one was Saddam Hussein Thank you for listening to Football Rumble Part of the Aircast Creator Network Jim, Marcus and Lou Will be on the show tomorrow Remember to get your tickets For our England watch party Tomorrow night I'm going to have a lovely time I hope you have an even better one I will see you then Say goodbye Jim Bye Say goodbye Vish Bye Oh God cramped me there Rub it Rub it Vish

52:29The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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