Hope, Brit | 2026 FIFA World Cup

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3:25Pete Donaldson: Welcome to the Football Ramble. The England post-mortem continues ahead of the bronze final. It's Friday, 17th of July. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm Jim Campbell.

3:47Pete Donaldson: Hello, everybody. It's Friday for what that's worth. Mission Chip Friday. I'm still having a battered sausage. You can't damper my spirits. I totally wouldn't dream to do such a thing. You can't soggy up my sausage. No, I'm glad you're still having a battered sausage tonight. I had battered spirits, but I'm glad that you had a battered sausage. Yes, yes. It's a Scottish dish.

4:13Pete Donaldson: Lovely. Do you ever have fish when you go to the chippy? I have half a fish that my partner doesn't eat. oh so you know that's coming I know that's coming so that's why you go for the sausage as well surf and turf

4:28Pete Donaldson: what kind of turf is it it's lips and arseholes as my dad used to say yes what do you what do you have alongside it I know we're supposed to talk about England but I want to know about your chip shop side dishes this is a quick essential English chat Jim I think you'll find what's your meal deal pot of curry pot of gravy there we go lovely everything and a gherkin and a half ooh I get three Wally Gherkins and yeah, me and my partner will share three Gherkins because two isn't enough. So two is too much, one isn't enough. No, two is... It's like a sort of Snickers duo. We used to have one each, then I was enjoying the Gherkins more than I was enjoying everything else.

5:05I'm like, you know what, I'll go for three Gherkins between the two.

5:08Pete Donaldson: I like that. Gravy is important. Good that you can get gravy down south more in places. I always forget which one. The South has been historically wrong about that. Yes. We hold our hands up. I think it's right. We acknowledge that. We do hold our hands up. And now we've got a northern prime minister, so he will be right in those wrongs. He's not even wearing a tie. He's not even wearing a tie. Oh, yesterday. All right, then, fine. Fine. More fallout from England and Argentina. This from Simon on Patreon. I went to see System of a Down on Wednesday. Made the right call. Yeah. Even if you hate System of a Down, that's the right call.

5:42I play a Russian roulette every day, a man's sport, as they once sang. Sugar!

5:46Pete Donaldson: Why don't you put the fenders on the field? You're about to do. Why don't you throw in the lead? You always do. Nice. Nice. We don't always get the lead. That's the problem. Yes, indeed. At least you got the lead this time. Oh, dear. Nearly said something overtly political. I won't do that. Well, not now. Not now. Not when the mics are on. Warm yourself up before you go full. Of all the bands, I mean, it would have been in keeping with their tone. True enough. True enough. But I still encourage you not to. I'm glad you didn't. I won't do it. Because you're mad these days. You're still in a World Cup fervor.

6:19You've got another four days.

6:21Pete Donaldson: And I'm a middle-aged father. I have to be very careful. This is what happens to us. Go on then. Thomas Tuchel, he's been defending his tactics. I mean, he said that straight after the game. And people have been poring over that since. And said, in this moment, my feeling was no structure in the world could have helped us. He's gone on to say, subsequently, I think... Not helpful at all, isn't it? Yeah, we were in trouble. We'd bought, you know, daggers to a machine gun fight, essentially. I, the only man who can possibly do anything about it, think there is nothing that could be done. He's the hot dog soup man.

6:58Well, Vish made the point on WhatsApp that he just wants that payout. Give me that payout so I can move on to other things.

7:04Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Where people still remember the Champions League win. Yeah, well, indeed. And I was going to very much remember that had England made the final against Spain. But it is interesting. Tuchel, all the chat from him, which has been quite limited, as you'd imagine, but there will be more, you know. He's got a World Cup final to plan for. A bronze final. A bronze final. It is a World Cup final. Pete's right, though. I think we should just... You're right. We should be saying that. Let's do a live show around it. Live stream kind of reactions and stuff. Let's do our own halftime show. Exactly. Yeah.

7:34Pete Donaldson: Imagine they do a halftime show at that as well. Everyone just hurry up. I think so, yeah. Everyone's out on the streets. Right, we've got the bronze. I I mean I genuinely would be pleased everyone getting fake tans yeah exactly the frog in the world knows nothing about the ocean just pretend it's the World Cup final it is a World Cup final it's a World Cup final for a few of those players of course if they do win the bronze it'll go nicely with the bronze medal that they won in the first iteration of the UEFA Nations League let's not forget it's heritage it is heritage you can make swords out of bronze you can't you can't make it out of gold yeah you can't use those swords on the pitch because that would be far too attacking I feel but anyway Thomas Hickle continued with this chat about about England sort of choking if you like in the big games I think ball possession plays a crucial role it's maybe not in our DNA like it is in the Spanish DNA or the Argentinian or Brazilian DNA to take the ball and control the game with the ball and that is a fair point but there are many ways to skin a cat or win a football match and when you're 1-0 up after 55 minutes, you know that's not going to be the case.

8:44Pete Donaldson: Thomas Tuchel at no point is looking at the bench going, ah, right, I can bring on Rodri and I can bring on Pedry. You can't do that. Well, what he can do, though, is he can bring on a wide player, whoever it is, of the options that he had on those benches, even just as an outlet, as a pressure valve almost. I know we discussed this a little bit yesterday. And obviously, I think, you know, he's certainly right about, English football heritage not being based on heavy possession, certainly in the modern game. And I understand that in isolation. But when you're the guy who's had England playing with, at one point, six defenders, I just think that is a little bit rich and seems designed to distance himself from the results of his own choices and his own tactical tweaks.

9:32I obviously wasn't on the shore yesterday, so I'm not really at the opportunity. but I do feel like coming to the post-mortem so late, I feel like, you know, Jimmy Savile at the morgue, just kind of like, you know, after hours, just kind of...

9:44Pete Donaldson: Gordon Bennett. Like, I shouldn't be involved at this point. You guys have said everything that needs to be said. I'm not needed here. But there was a little bit of me, and there was a little bit of me on the night, actually, that genuinely, A, thought we were going to survive it, and I was shouted down, quite rightly, and B, there's a little bit of me that thinks that, Thomas Tuchel Thomas Tuchel's ego Thomas Tuchel's Capello-esque ego is providing a very suitable umbrella for some pretty wooden performances from a lot of England players across the tournament I can understand I can understand that like I could understand why Thomas Tuchel made those choices, I really could simply because England have found it very hard to score goals, England have found it very hard to get in the box this tournament and I genuinely think he just looked at that goal from Gordon and he thought you know what the goal was not in any way tested in the first 55 minutes or however many minutes it was in this match on both sides to be honest to a certain extent and he just thought well this goal is hen's teeth, this goal is so valuable, what we have we hold we've got to sit on this and that's kind of, and there was a lot of balls getting whipped in so I understand why they felt the need that oh look maybe we can do it in Mexico the balls weren't quite high and loopy they were very specific and directed Argentina are better Argentina are better footballing side than Mexico but you're ceding possession there to the greatest player of all time who is still playing at a really really high level and a team who are really good technicians really adept I mean Enzo Fernandez you know we've seen him score goals like that for Chelsea so many times and as Marcus said it's different from Mexico isn't it and I think Tuchel had to be more aware of that and I see what you're saying but I think really do you not think that change came too early even 10-15 minutes too early I mean it came way too early no because Argentina stopped doing the kicky football because they needed to win the match and they needed to get something out of it and there were just too many balls coming in getting whipped I understand why he did it and I also understand why he didn't feel like going for another goal was the right plan simply because England have been pretty atrocious going forward sure but there's not going for another goal and there's inviting providing an outlet and a release valve more than an outlet I would say And there's also inviting a very good team to come on to you while also getting yourself into a position where you don't really have any realistic route to go.

12:13Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I mean, I don't want to sort of have another... I mean, obviously, what are your thoughts, Peter? Nobody wants our thoughts. No, no, no. You're in the morgue. You've got your lab coat on. Yes. Get stuck in. And you're in the morgue as you, by the way. Yes. I... My hope with all this... My corp. Yes. my cop for all of this that's what I meant cope Brit is there's a man once said to you on Twitter during the Qatar World Cup cope Brit cope Brit I can't remember I think there was to do with the general awfulness of what had been going on at that tournament and yes a man from I'm guessing the Middle East perhaps Qatar just told me cope Brit but yeah and I managed

13:32We'll be right back. your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. This is going to be an extremely busy month. I have to watch 104 soccer games, follow the pregame, the postgame, yell useless opinions at the TV. It's a lot. So I knew that when it comes to screening for colon cancer, the choice was clear. The Cologuard Plus test. It can be used at home and can only take 15 minutes. So I can do it during halftime and not miss any action. If you are 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with the Cologuard test. You can also request a prescription at coligard.com.

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15:43Pete Donaldson: It's been reported that a number of the players are disappointed with how England approached the final stages of that game. Yes. Which is very interesting, isn't it? Because Thomas Tuchel has a kind of legacy, really, of this type of clash with his players. Yes. And you really see that that is kind of an inescapable part of him yeah I mean as a national team manager you can't quite be that blunt because you can't bomb anyone out necessarily you can't buy new players so you have to be a bit more a little less Thomas Tuchel in the situation are you talking about in the tournaments or are you talking about how he will go forward just how he will go how he will go forward how he approaches press conferences how he speaks to the press how he explains you can't throw the players under the bus like you can throw players under the bus the parked bus we've seen so often in this tournament you can do that in the Premier League or you know the Bundesliga but you can't do that in actual football because you need a working relationship with the best players I think he'll give it a good go he'll give it a good go well I mean if he feels that you know apparently he's saying you know we didn't tell the players to drop deep and Anthony Barry apparently said the same thing and some are suggesting that on the sidelines Tuchel's saying push up push up if you remember Gareth Southgate said when he was asked by the media, why do we always sort of retreat when these sorts of situations present themselves?

17:03Pete Donaldson: And Southgate said, no, we're not telling the players to do it. So he sort of slightly laughed it off and was like, well, no, of course, we're not telling them to do it. They needed more presence in the box. Like they did at that point. And I know that people are talking about that kind of, you know, you see defenders coming on, you're like, right, we're playing in a certain way. We're not going to score another goal. But I think that's just very naive from some... But to me, it's like, you know, you're on the pirate ship. You see another pirate ship approaching you. You go, oh, we could shoot our cannons at them, but no, they're shooting their cannons at us.

17:34Pete Donaldson: Okay, we need all hands on deck to fix the holes and stop this from going down. Oh, they're boarding us, and now they're on our ship, and now we're all dead. It's kind of like, well, maybe if you just fired a few cannons in the first place, you might have staved them off a bit. Maybe we keep the Cain cannon nearer the goal instead of in the film. Yes. I mean, you talk about outballs. There's nobody venturing up there really anywhere. Our main striker. Miguel Delaney reported that apparently some of the Argentina players and coaching staff after the game was so surprised in a very good way that England didn't put Saka on the pick.

18:06Pete Donaldson: They didn't use the weapons that they had. They'd prepared in the second half for England to have fresh legs because Tuchel's done that by and large in the tournament. What did he say? He said, we play our wingers for about an hour or so. We basically rag them until they're absolutely knackered and then we bring fresh legs on because you've always got those outlets. You've always got that presence and so on and so forth. And it's what Argentina would not have wanted England to do. There was much made about Tagliafico, the left back, you know, maybe not the best, a little bit older, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

18:35Pete Donaldson: And I was messaging people going, I really want Saka to have a go at him. And you can say, well, Saka's had this injury and so on. But look in the previous game against Norway. Saka came on and made a difference, didn't he? Yeah, absolutely, yeah. And I know Norway aren't Argentina. He had a really good half. But even in that game, made the point yesterday, I'll make it again, England were in the ascendancy against Norway. you'd had the Jed Spence one where another day maybe you get a penalty there the fact is he'd made that run into the box Spence then has a shot, the keeper saves it and Saka has another shot and I'm thinking England could get the third here, Tuchel pretty much straight after that passage of play then brings off, I forget he brings off and brings on Dan Byrne and basically says right we're going to sharp shop and there was probably with injury time there would have been about another 15 minutes or so to go and I remember thinking what you've done there is Norway right now are massively on the ropes we have fresher legs we're a better team we can finish this off with a third goal and we don't look like we're going to concede what you've done now is you've gone right Norway what have you got and fortunately for England Haaland was absolutely knackered hence he was taken off and Norway didn't have anything but there was the odd moment where I forget who it was who blazes one over the bar yeah the XG would have been low on that but the fact is it was what if he does score a worldie do you know what I mean what if suddenly you're like ah we could have killed the game off and I thought he went too early It worked out, though, and I think with Tuchel, because it had happened against Mexico and against Norway, he thought, ah, that's the English fighting spirit or whatever.

20:01Pete Donaldson: I say that slightly, you know, in inverted commas, because, hey, other teams have fighting spirit as well. It's not just this country. And I think that he thought, ah, right, okay, I don't know. And unfortunately, like I say, he was plugging the gaps and the decision was made and it was gone. And I think he'd made those subs in desperation because it had gone and Scaloni thought, bloody hell, they're not doing what, right lads, here we go. He brings off Taglifico and puts another attacker on, bombard them. And it's Martinez as well. It's Martinez, the guy who comes on in the 81st minute. He comes on and obviously gets...

20:39That's wild, isn't it? Like how close they were to go through and it's kind of like when two goals... But he never felt like that for me. To me,

20:47Pete Donaldson: it just seems so obvious that Argentina were going to score and when they got the goal they were going to get another one and I thought said it yesterday the only hope for England now is somehow somehow they get to extra time and then he goes right and then what and then you make you use your remaining three substitutions to reverse it yeah you bring off a defender you've brought on maybe you don't want to get in a penalty shootout with Argentina on Maino totally so my hope with this is cope hope you know interchangeable at this point hope Brit yeah we're a top four side that can't beat a top ten side and so that needs to be changed that needs to be the first thing that changes yeah as I said technically Mexico are a top ten side but yeah no you're absolutely right well what we've done is I now realise there's another glass ceiling to punch through is that I thought it was just win the tournament no no no it's win that 50-50 game or 55-45 whatever against you yeah but that's nothing new but fine ultimately England are in the same position as they have been in the last handful of tournaments where we thought maybe this would change something you can't remember like Spain were knocking on that door for a very long time and they got there eventually but we're not we're not necessarily knocking on the same door that Spain's knocking on we're knocking on the porch door yeah the security door outside the door yes knock knock knock can we gain access to the door please yes and I think well again by the law of averages you think they would win a tournament but the law of averages doesn't actually is not actually actionable but my point was going to be in a very labored way my sincere hope slash cope for this is that it is now without question the problem for england in these big games the idea of going ahead and then this sort of sinking and how do you then manage these types of games with southgate in those four tournaments the croatia semifinal you can explain and say well it was a bit naive we do you know what went further than maybe we thought yeah you get against canny opposition okay okay you can kind of sort of explain it away that team is not as experienced or on paper as talented as this one.

22:48Pete Donaldson: Yeah. The Euros final, that was pretty stark. Yeah. Whatever you want to say. That was really a different version of this exact same problem, wasn't it? And then the final two tournaments for Southgate, France obviously beat England in the quarterfinal in 2022. I think England actually, you know, that was a 50-50 game and I thought they did all right. Obviously they lose the game ultimately. I think you can be, you know, you can action your football fan-ness and go, sometimes you lose games do you know what I mean with that one and they didn't have the lead in that one and in the Euros final against Spain beaten by much the better side didn't have the lead blah blah blah blah and I think maybe we'd kind of forgotten oh well that problem probably won't be there it is now almost the duty of the media and the fans to constantly remind the England manager whoever it is in the next Euros possibly Tuchel to keep this conversation going and go remember that remember that you've got to plan for that you can't just throw in a load of defenders and that is almost my hope is like this has again shown how stark this is is there a fork in the road for the English press though where we can either go that way or we can go German manager out I mean there's so much press out but I'm sure both things will happen in different areas yeah the FA are not going to sack him though no I don't think the FA will sack him but I think he'll make it untenable I think he'll try his best to make it untenable I mean it's very difficult to tell with Tuka isn't it because he's so blunt him just being honest might look exactly the same as him trying to get sacked so it's kind of hard to tell but I think like would he want to leave on this note?

24:23Pete Donaldson: because if he leaves on this note with the criticism he's facing it looks like he's gone bollocks to the lot of you or well you're wrong and it's a really bad note and his reputation in England is then harmed if he stays two years some would say that's a long time others you know at Breezeball you've got the Nations League as well I think he'll stay I suspect he will stay neither outcome would surprise me if later on we heard he's gone for whatever reason and they might explain it as a mutual this or that or we won't necessarily know the goings on behind it with a role as high profile as this.

24:54Pete Donaldson: It never felt like he was going to get down to the end of his new contract for me. It felt like a one and done for me. I mean, if he'd have won the World Cup I think he'd have got. Oh yeah. Who knows? Because that simply did not happen. Yes. So I look at this now I think the comments he's made about the game afterwards where perhaps it's a bit of self-preservation, where perhaps he doesn't need to sort of self-flagellate or almost be apologetic in his comments after it. But I do look at that and I think, are you actually acknowledging any role in what happened here? Are you kind of, is it clear to you that it is on you and it is within your ability and only, you know, on you to actually fix this problem that happened here.

25:44Pete Donaldson: Are you going to look at that and go, right, we can never make, we've got to make sure that never happens again. We've got two years to shift this mentality. Especially because his brand is Master Tactician. So he gets judged on those things. He's not judged as a guy of Southgate, like, you know, culture, culture, kind of change the culture kind of guy. He gets judged on the fact that he's supposed to be really good at this sort of thing. A tournament guy and a Master Tactician, which he got wrong. I don't know we've not really seen anything from him that suggests that's the case but of course that's a lot of that's a you know a lot of kind of tactical ambition to go into in the post-mortem of a game I mean do you think he deserves the opportunity to redeem the project?

26:19Pete Donaldson: A lot of people are calling for his head and obviously this always happens when England go out of a tournament It's a real learning process and international never done international management before never had an international tournament job before it's a big ask for any manager to switch around everything and also So if he's learned anything, just play some players who are a bit fucking fresher. I think the rigours of a Premier League season and beyond have just told us one thing, that these players have a limit and they turn up for tournaments so unbelievably damaged. It's not even funny. Yeah, I think he will be at the Euros and I think he wants to put it right.

26:59Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I mean, he's making those, he's talking about that, isn't he? Which of course, you know, even managers who are. Because as well, I think because there's so much criticism coming his way, I know we move on quickly in football. I just don't think he wants to leave on this note. And with the home Euros as well, you know, with England, I think he would be like, yeah, let's... Yeah, I mean, he's left on this note from so many jobs before. But I think that's different because I think he would probably like to manage in the Premier League again. Yeah, sure. Honestly, I don't think he would be a barrier to that.

27:34Pete Donaldson: No I don't think he would I just think for him and his reputation he obviously loves this country and wants to work here Spurs it have him Yeah well obviously they would when Deserve he gets fed up you know but that's not the point that's not the point I'm making I just think that again there is there's an emotional side to this and I don't think he would want to be operating the country where everyone's looking at him going oh you cost us a World Cup semi-final No one should be making a decision about it right now No I absolutely not The heat in the moment has to dissipate I do agree with that as well Something though that could bail us out have you seen Argentinaout.com have signed the petition.

28:07Pete Donaldson: 17 and a half million people have so far. I presume they're all Egyptian bots and a few English ones as well. But yeah, it's like, these are the reasons why FIFA and the referees have been, you know, oh, is it all like, oh, it's corrupt. Oh, they've rigged it for Argentina. The only thing I would say, and again, this goes into the hole. Is this on Andy Burnham's first day? No, I don't think it's been set up in this country. He's still got his tickets. Wasn't he booking the tickets to the World Cup final? Yeah, we're not going to get that back holiday. Do we still get the back holiday if we win the bronze medal?

28:41Pete Donaldson: It is the World Cup final after all. Yes. Should we get the afternoon off? I think that's fair. Yeah, we can have the afternoon off. Yeah. Well, I mean, start an hour late and have the afternoon off. Jim, I want to believe the conspiracy theory, which ultimately is, I think it's a conspiracy theory that Argentina can get the phone to be. Because Messi did foul Jed Spence. He did, yeah. In the build-up to the second Argentina goal. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, all good. Good. Drist for the mill. Yeah, there you go. But that's where Jed Spence, he gets up and shakes his leg and says, ow, you're just stamped on my leg.

29:11Pete Donaldson: If it was that the other end, it would have been like, no, he's fouled me. You've got to stop the play. But there we are. There we are. If Jed Spence wasn't on one, playing Bobby Moore levels of defending, I think... I'm gutted for him that that Bobby Moore-esque tackle is now just kind of... Oh, gutted. Gutted for him. It is a shame. One of the Argentina defenders, Christian Romero, has called Gary Neville stupid for criticising Argentina's centre-back combination before the World Cup. You could have just stopped middle of that sentence. I think it's a touch harsh on Neville because Romero's a bellend, isn't he?

29:44Pete Donaldson: There is that, Jim. And they're both on Yellers. It would be funny. They were lucky not to be challenged. Yeah, well... Back end of that match. Well, Neville, when he was asked... So when they were asking Ian Wright, who do you think is going to win? Ian Wright said, I fancy him. I think Ian's going to win this. And they asked Neville and he was reluctant to give an answer. Basically, I think he probably thought, Argentina were going to win but perhaps he didn't want to say that and also you do have a bit of pressure you know if someone asks you as one of the leading pundits would you think you're going to win and you go no I think Argentina you're going to take loads of stupid abuse although I think with Gary Neville someone as high profile as him he probably knows he's going to get that either way I'm sure he's used to managing that but he was highlighting Romero and Martinez their centre back partnership which again like if you look at all the games Argentina have played some of the goals they conceded he was just highlighting what was there but he said that, what did he say?

30:32Pete Donaldson: They are sort of the worst, but yet best. Yeah, the best worst centre-back combination or worst best. This is actually just a little throwaway joke, isn't it? Yeah, it's almost like when you talk about the career of Sergio Ramos. At times, he looked like a Sunday league player. Yeah. And he just gets sent off. And yet, you go, an incredibly effective player. In your second language, though, if you overhear someone said that about you and it's just that, it's probably going to get you back up. And you are a bellend with really thin skin. Which I am. So I completely, you know, understand how Romero would feel there.

31:00Spurs have been shit this month.

31:02Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I mean, Romero said, the only thing that I hope for is that when I retire, I am not that stupid. Hopefully I won't criticise a player or anyone, which makes me think he's going to be a bad manager. He's going to be a bad pundit. I thought they were great. I mean, they lost 17-0, Romero. It's ultimately futile, isn't it? None of this really matters. Oh, I don't know. Did you see that John Pickford's water bottle ended up on, I think it was one of the Argentinian coaching staff. He found the water bottle with all the penalty technique. So predictable. Need a bouncer for that. Yeah. Keep all your bottle for crying out loud.

31:32Yeah, but I mean, it doesn't matter though, does it?

31:34Pete Donaldson: Because it was always, what I thought is, Spain would be like, oh, thanks for that. Yeah. I was like, you idiots. The thing that fed to me is that they use the official England font typeface, which is unreadable. Yeah. Just give us a big, you know, nice big. Learn windings. No one's figuring that out. Yeah. Use some like, long forgotten British language. Imagine the grief Thomas Tuka would get if they're all learning windings. homework to learn sort of wacky hieroglyphs that would be way better would it not teach Jordan Pickford Hindi or Arabic or something they can't decipher it the best thing about that is Messi was looking at it, everyone was looking at the bottle they've never, it was like an artefact they found a dog or an archaeological dig and they were like going they'd never understood the concept of someone having pre-ordained kind of like description about how most of the footballers take their penalties.

32:27But also, like, makes it look at it in the same way that when someone points out a vocal tick that I do on this show, I sort of go, that's not me. That's not me.

32:34Pete Donaldson: Yeah. I don't go right. That's not me. Piss off. Makes it up way more than that. That's not me. Maybe. I think, though, I think... I'm not a caricature. I think that war bottle might have got in their heads. And if it goes to a penalty shootout against Spain, I think Spain are going to win. Yeah. Good. I like it. Right, okay. Let's go for a break. Let's go for a hydration break. Coming up after this, strange tattoos and, yes, the bronze final.

33:2333 days, 33 episodes, no off switch. From the goals and the glory to the politics and the problems of the World Cup, if you want soccer analysis from a podcast that's been overanalyzing the game for more than 20 years, then this is it. Join me, Max Rushton, and our expert team of soccer journalists every day of the tournament. Can England end 60 years of hurt? Or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. The grill is shot. The chairs are held together by optimism. And what happened to the rug?

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34:25And I think he gets himself in positions to score goals. He creates his own goals as well. And that's probably why I'd say Kili Kili. Mbappé, Mbappé, Mbappé, oh. That's what we say.

34:37Pete Donaldson: Welcome back to Foot Granblue. That's what they say in the Sturridge household, I assume. Yes, France versus England Saturday at 10pm. Couldn't have had this at 8pm, could you? No, I mean, dude, you've got to do that. You've got to do that. Is there extra time in this? Can we go straight to the pens? Can we just have an argument to not do it? Just not have it? There's a very strong argument for that. Forfeit it. Imagine in protest that Argentina having the World Cup rigged for them. Isn't it in Miami as well? A lovely hot, hot summer's day. Let's get back there. Love that. Is this the most unnecessary and futile sentence of all time concerning England?

35:14Pete Donaldson: A win would give England their best World Cup finish since 1966. I don't know, Marcus, because I can see you, you know, stating that fact in all seriousness in future tournament warm-ups. Don't forget, England had their best finish at the World Cup since 1966. You are right, you've got me there. You will do that. I mean, I did mention the Nations League bronze medal. You're getting quite dewy-eyed about the prospects of the Nations League before we came on air, weren't you? It genuinely lifted my spirits looking at the Nations League. Maniac. When I came in about 45 minutes, in the repris and you were trapped in.

35:51Marcus had spent the extra time just looking at the Nations League.

35:55Pete Donaldson: I think we're in the toughest group, Pete. Right. Yeah, it was this sort of chat. So in the Nations League, we will finally get to play Spain. I brought this on us. Croatia, we know we can beat them and Czech Republic. So we can beat them, Jim. Let's hope we avoid the qualification for relegation. Relegation play. Relegation playoff in the Nations League. There are too many games. Not enough games for me. But yes, England. England have got a bad record in third place playoffs. Again, Pete, I'm sorry. Listeners, I'm sorry. This is relevant now, Jim. You wanted me to stop talking about the Nations League.

36:30Pete Donaldson: England, of course, got a great record in World Cup finals, but in third place playoffs, terrible one. It's a chance to put it right, Peter. It is a chance to put it right against an attacking side. And the better the side, the more attacking the sides. The better we're going to be. The better we're going to be, baby. How annoying would it be if that were proven true in this game? Yeah, we absolutely hump them 5-0. I don't think... Cobby Manu hat trick. I think that in this game, as you say, it's in Miami. I can't believe we're going to be... Declan Rice to do. Is there extra time in this? Do you get extra time?

37:02I really hope not.

37:03Pete Donaldson: I'm sure there is. Declan Rice is in the full 90. He's absolutely hosed. Yeah. Let's kill them. Let's punish them for being crap. Rice or Anderson are probably going to have to start, right? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, yeah. it just seems I mean obviously this is the Kane trying to get the golden boot I mean he's not going to get the fangirl but not from where he's been playing he needs a hat trick for that I think doesn't he and Messi not to score in the final and Mbappe as well and Mbappe of course yeah he's not going to get it I think it's fair to say I mean I do hope that and by the way there would be extra time in the match you'll be really pleased to know everybody thank you production team for that horrible bit of news in the live document I I this is the type of game where I actually would like him to play one or two people that he hasn't oh it would be absolutely ridiculous if he doesn't yeah surely change the side I just think I would honestly put in Manu instead of Rice yeah for Arsenal's sake Jim yeah I mean Big Dumber at the back it'll just be that one it'll just be a bit I mean most of most of the players have got on the pitch at some point even Ivan Toni has now outfield players I think Trevor Chalabar and would he be the only one because Henderson's played yeah Tony came on now didn't he you know on Maynus it's Chalabar and Maynus they're the only two that haven't got on the pitch Maynus is a big surprise and then Kwanzaa will be available again there we go you see it's looking up I don't know why I saw doubt about this Marcus this is a competitive international fixture in a World Cup in a World Cup and a medal is on the line and a medal is on the line there would be like a teensy and I can't stress how teeny tiny little bit of happiness I would have for the England players if they got a medal.

38:48Pete Donaldson: You know, they would always look at it. But I think it's one of those things in years to come. They would go, oh, yeah. There's a medal with the World Cup. It's that meme of the runner biting his medal. I'm throwing champagne over everybody, but he's in bronze position. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a podium finish. It's a podium finish. I mean, Tuchel said the World Cup is not over yet. There's a match to play that we're not looking forward to so much, but there's still a match to play. And France will feel the same. This is a chance for Tuchel to really nail down a firing. So, like, he's going to try his best.

39:22Pete Donaldson: Make it untenable. Pencils up the nose. Get that bag, Tuchel. It's the bag match for Tuchel. He's going to go mad. He's going to make the maddest tactical decisions. Love it. Go on, then. What would it be? Oh, just take one play. Left wing. Paul Scholes. He's on the left. Scholesy on the left. Yeah. Just anything. He's a defender. bring himself on brilliant yeah I think that's a good idea Kane and Bellingham in the centre and one stays one goon well one England fan will be disappointed certainly that England didn't win the World Cup because this England fan got a tattoo on his leg before the game against Argentina the big World Cup trophy saying England World Cup winners 20-26 this man should have some sort of scientific testing done on him because what on earth are you playing at?

40:13Pete Donaldson: He's part of a kind of genre of man that does this. Though, isn't he? You get like fans of clubs doing it in the Champions League and stuff and there's always someone who has like an England tattoo like this. A certain genre of man. I read the interview with the guy and he actually seems quite happy-go-lucky and even now doesn't seem that bothered about it. Well, he said he might have the tattoo underneath it only joking. Yeah. Who are you? Oh, good. He's a gagman. So apparently his mates encouraged him to do it while they were on holiday. in Tenerife like not on the holiday but like yeah you should have this tattoo done it's like is that a stitch up so he had time to think about it he did yeah he did I mean surely he could say England bronze winners he could have there to save the tattoo but he's got the trophy on his leg now imagine if he had bronze winners then we lose yeah is that another word to cover up another joke Pete how would you cover this up you're a tattoo man I would just kind of like it's on his leg I'll put 20 cross that on there put 20-30 yes exactly and then you know give someone and he could tour around if people could touch it for good luck.

41:14Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's... Is that what your tattoos are for? You can touch me for good luck if you want. You can touch me for good luck, children. There it is again. This tattoo is particularly lucky. In my mind, I was thinking about the cat in the hat and that is obviously a child's book, so that's why I... And that's on your leg, isn't it? And that's on my leg. Yeah. And it goes up. No.

41:42It's fried. Are there any footballing tattoos that you would get, Marcus? No. Because you're a man completely... Because you're a hairy man, you can hide a few, I think.

41:52Pete Donaldson: I am of the old school. Tattoos are for sailors and drug dealers. Oh, wow. Outrageous. Okay, right. I'm actually quoting someone else of this parish, and I won't say who. Okay. They're not in the room, but that's... So they can't defend themselves. I am not one for tattoos. You won't be surprised. Could you not just get a little something-something under a as an older man you could have one under a boob yeah you're really selling it do not resuscitate I do not ah shit you forgot to lift up his titties ah he's a Mormon shit why don't you ask Jim about this what Jim I don't trust what would you hide under a boob Premier League Premier League winners 2027 you had it I don't trust myself to like something for my entire life.

42:45Pete Donaldson: You don't have to like it. Just have to renew yourself the same. I'd prefer to like it, though. Does that go for Pete and me? Yeah, sure. I don't like any of my tattoos. They're just memories of me being silly. Yeah, fair enough. Why don't you do that, Jim? Yeah. We can have some memories of you being silly. You're right. Have that tattoo of you fallen off that canal boat? You can have that. Yeah, it's quite a complicated scene, that, though, isn't it? It's quite painful. You'd be amazed what they can do. I think about the hiragana fall, wo in Japanese. I always think about you falling off a canal boat.

43:18Sorry, what? Because it looks like, because the hiragana is like a, you know, the Japanese writing system for the wrong words. Well, it looks like a man halfway between a jetty, basically, and a canal boat. And I think about you every time.

43:32Pete Donaldson: I was on the boat when I fell off. So that's the other way around. Don't ruin this for me. I'm not ruining it. Don't set me back on my Japanese. A lot of listeners might have started listening since I fell in a canal, not be aware of the story. It was during the lockdown. You were pushed in by a block from Egghead. I wasn't pushed in by any... Who are you running from? I'm actually a ghost now. Running from a sailor and a drug dealer. He was trying to make a plasma screen from a boat. It's a London riot. I had to get out of there quickly. He wanted to do some sea piracy. Yeah, I mean, the quite boring alternative truth to that was that I just fell between the boat and the side.

44:10Pete Donaldson: Got stuck. A friend of mine had to pull me out, and I think that bruised my ribs quite badly. Bruised ribs are no fun at all. Pete, I was going to say, if you could choose a tattoo for me, what am I having? Tom, producer, why have you just put a Frank Clark question mark in there? Oh, yeah, because he emerged from a canal. He emerged from the River Trent. I thought you'd do a red tattoo I'd have a dripping wet a dripping wet Frank Clark outside the Hooters Frank Clark was not in the Regent's Canal when I went in there but I didn't have a good look you didn't go deep imagine if you were snorkelling it's very dark in there that's why they bring undersea police divers I can promise you alright Clarky what's going on here come up with a mouser tuck it into your back pocket Pete if you were to get another tattoo hang on I want to know what Pete's going to tattoo on my body first oh okay I don't know I think we should all get football ramble tattoos to be quite frank I think we should all get British Bulldogs fucking part-timers British Bulldogs British Bulldogs John Ball John Park the meme the internet meme all of that yeah okay well one footballer may get a tattoo apparently Marco Correa has promised to get a tattoo of Spain manager Luis de la Fuente's face if Spain win the World Cup some people think he was joking when he said it and other people are saying it's Marco Correa he probably will get this done well he's a man who's just life is just dedicated to him making himself look and feel as repulsive as possible to the rest of humanity.

45:40That's a bit harsh. I don't know. I just think the way that he carries on. I mean, he's a very effective footballer. He's a very effective footballer, but he's more and more unpalatable as the years get on, really.

45:50Pete Donaldson: Yeah. I mean, I enjoy the sort of pantomime villain. He's like a poodle cross with a wolverine. From Fragile Rock. I don't find him as repulsive as you do, actually. I think he's a very... I know, Jim, is it the more sort of clownish quality to him? Yeah, I think there's a slapstick element to him, isn't he? Because even though he is a brilliant player... I know, he's so effective. You can see him wedge between a houseboat and a canal topper. For sure, definitely. But people just can't help but push him over. They just get near to him and they just have to do it. They're just compelled to. Also, he falls over a lot for such an elite player.

46:22Pete Donaldson: And he really is. He's a brilliant one-on-one defender. He's got so much to his game. He stacks it all the time. And I'm fascinated by that. It is quite strange. but by the weekends out he could be European and world champion. Very rare thing. We saw France do it at the turn of the century. Incredible. Get that tattoo on your... Where would it be? Not on his face. That would be quite odd. It would be taking the Cundi-ism to its natural conclusion, I suppose. I would say that the problem with Luis de la Fuente, he looks like a very generic... He looks a bit like Simon Evans, the stand-up. Is that Simon Evans, the stand-up?

47:00Pete Donaldson: He looks like a hard old man, though. I think he is wearing a slightly tighter suit in each round. Yeah, it's only slight, so it's not very obvious. But he is ready to just burst out of that face. I mean, they were in an air-conditioned stadium in their semi-final. It's not going to be like that in New Jersey. No, true, true. Yes, where, quite predictably, I really hope they win. I don't know, man. The Messi story. No, I'm with you on this, Pete. I'm torn. I like the Messi story. Bored of it. You've got to remember, like, the fucking, like, the messy Robert De Niro sort of thing was pure cinema.

47:34It's his last World Cup. No one's ever done this before. Fucking bring it on. Fuck, like, we only have ourselves to blame to varying extents there. Fucking enjoy it. We knew exactly what they were going to be like. They were exactly like that. You know, we got a slap in on that little boy, didn't we?

47:50Pete Donaldson: We're exactly, yeah. So that's some legacy there. Yeah. Marcus, can you, as a football man, I know you're still hurting a good football man we're here for stories a proper good football man I know you're still hurting from England's exit but surely when somebody's called that it feels like this scandal something bad is about to happen fair enough but you can surely get behind the idea of the Messi legend and the Messi myth being sort of burnished even further by this surely that's outdoing Maradona with a second World Cup and obviously pushing ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo in that endless debate that people are always having by winning the World Cup not just once but twice do you see the you know I suppose it's like tofu versus a big steak isn't it Argentina are the big steak and Spain are just a blob of football do you not think I'm really not convinced that way no I don't think I'm not sure I associate blobs of tofu with Spain yeah no I a big blob of football yeah I just I just think if this Argentina won the World Cup it's just like what how have they the messy romance that's what I'm asking you about I'm not really asking you about men the bad guys sometimes win there's boo for the mark it won't be up next time often the legends go out with the loss don't they so maybe that would be the more appropriate thing for Messi Messi's got to leave his boots in the centre circle I want the Mark Cucurea romance story what's wrong with that because he's a tit because he's an idiot I hope for a good game of football and a good clean belt and I'm not going to get it so we'll see what happens you might get the first one you might get the first one might get the first one right well I'm sure a lot of fans in this country are already wanting the club season to kick back in yeah back to my midfield of Tonali Bruno Lewis Miley he's there you've got little Lewis there young Lewis can I offer you a Lewis at this difficult time I think so you've got a couple of them in there well let me then bring some kind of club football back to the table ahead of when the season really kicks in.

49:56Pete Donaldson: Because the Champions League preliminaries have been well underway. Here we go. It's all about club football, really. Come on. Club football we really care about more. Anachronistic international tournaments, isn't it? Yeah. Encourages xenophobia. It does. On this podcast. So this week, Lithuania's top side, FK Kaunosalgiris, beat Kosovo champions, Drita, 3-2 on the night and 4-3 on aggregate to advance to the second qualifying round. They're due to face Faroe Islands champions, Kaiai. However, there is a problem with Zalgiris hosting the second leg of this tie. Presumably, they didn't think they'd get this far.

50:36Pete Donaldson: We'll now almost certainly have to find an alternative venue for the second leg. Miami. Now, why is that, Peter? I hear you cry. Why is that? Well, this is because they've rented... They obviously didn't think they'd get that far because they'd rented out their 15 ,000-seater stadium to the great Pitbull. Can't we all just get along? Can we skitter around on that plastic stuff they put down on the pictures to allow a music thing to happen? I think the Pitbull concert is happening like two days after when this tie was scheduled, but he's thinking, no, no, I need a lot. I mean, he's currently on his I'm Back tour of Europe, Jim.

51:16Pete Donaldson: That's what Cristiano Ronaldo was referencing, wasn't he, when he scored? it was actually a little bit of brand synergy between Ronaldo and Pitbull yeah exactly two greats exactly so they'll probably have to play the match 20 odd miles away in a two and a half thousand seater stadium which is not the same as your 15 ,000 the home seater stadium as Algieras head coach wasn't happy saying this week the team will have to move because of a concert by some dog or somebody put some respect on that he recently set a record didn't he Pitbull for most bald caps in one place at one time or something. This is how the Guinness Book of Records keeps going.

51:56Pete Donaldson: Yeah, yeah, just make them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many times can you say bollocks in 30 seconds? Oh, the record is seven. Yeah, I'll do that. Fine, you got the record. There you go. Some of the records. Just be honest. When we did the Newcastle live show, it was just so lovely to see that we were having a drink up at the pub next door to a pit bull rave. Yes. Hat taken place. We never got there in the end, but we should have done. Yeah. Sometimes it's better not to have loved and lost. Yeah. there we are everybody fuck him he's magger sod him oh dear what makes you say that thanks for listening to the football ramble part of the ACAR's creator network we'll be back on Sunday to preview yeah the world cup final we're gonna no we're gonna preview the world cup yeah I'm just trying to sort of pitbull it make people excited yeah okay we're gonna preview the bloody world cup final the world cup doesn't end because we're not in it anymore we've really enjoyed I've really enjoyed this time we're still in it we're still in it we're gonna review the bronze medal match as well.

52:49Yes, we're going to celebrate the bronze win. Let's get our bronze, baby.

52:53Pete Donaldson: Nice. Absolutely right. Let's get the bronze. Thank you. Ned Tuchel will have his payout. Thank you, Jim Campbell. Thank you. Thank you, Pete Donaldson. Goodbye. And as always, we're indebted on a Friday and we thank the great man, Pitbull.

53:13The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

53:2433 days, 33 episodes, no off switch. From the goals and the glory to the politics and the problems of the World Cup, if you want soccer analysis from a podcast that's been over-analysing the game for more than 20 years, then this is it. Join me, Max Rushton, and our expert team of soccer journalists every day of the tournament. Can England end 60 years of hurt or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. This is Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad. O-Pill is the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the US.

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