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2:58Pete Donaldson: Pick yourself up off the side of the road, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. England with pedestrian and spurs have twisted. It's Monday 30th of March. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm the Dushan Hunter Archer.

3:22Pete Donaldson: Well, well, well, everybody. I wasn't expecting it to be a manic Monday, but it is Pete Donaldson. It's become increasingly manic over the weekend that has produced this beautiful chrysanthemum of chaos. Yes, opening up. Chrysanthemum of chaos. There's been so many chaotic weekends in the Premier League. England did us all a solid by just calming us down on Friday night and saying, you know what? We're just going to walk into the weekend. and we're just nice and easy. They were going to ramble into the weekend. Exactly. They were rambling, they were. Scotland got the memo as well. Okay, everybody did.

3:51Pete Donaldson: And then Tottenham Hotspur turned up. Yeah, and say, look what we've done. Here's a bit of ramble sucker.

4:00Marcus Speller: At least they did it on the Sunday. That is some incredible spin doctoring from you. Well, we had this on Marsala last week, didn't we? We had a running order. It was like, this is looking a bit thin. Marsala leaves Liverpool. Brilliant. Thank you

4:13Pete Donaldson: Well leaving Leaving Yes Subtle difference With those extra letters That'd be a hell of a thing

4:19Marcus Speller: All the Trent Alexander Arnold chat This is how you leave the club You don't want to Tack it off See you later Trying to finish the season

4:27Pete Donaldson: Right then Well This pains me Everybody Because it is international It is the international break But something's happened And we have to depart it We have to go back To bloody club football For a bit Yes Yes, Igor Tudor has left Tottenham Hotspur. It was announced yesterday that he left by mutual consent. He was in the job for 44 days. Five defeats in seven matches under Tudor. This is no surprise, considering the personal situation that Igor Tudor had, of course, with the sad death of his father. But, you know, he wasn't exactly pulling up trees at Tottenham Hotspur as well. And I think that...

5:05Pete Donaldson: Could have started with forest, the tricky trees. Well, indeed, yeah. If anything, he's planting seeds. Which is a terrible thing to do for a relegation rival. The Sycamore Gap tree is not going to be worried by... Mind the Sycamore Gap. Igor Tudor, no, exactly.

5:19Marcus Speller: I don't think we can blame Igor Tudor for Spurs reaping what they sow.

5:23Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I mean, that is a certain argument. In their statement, Spurs said, we thank Igor, Tomislav and Ricciardo for their efforts during the past six weeks in which they worked tirelessly. We also acknowledge the bereavement that Igor has recently suffered and we send our support to him and his family at this difficult time. and they also said an update on a new head coach will be provided in due course now it's looking like roberto did serbi we'll get on to that in a minute but for the tottenham board i understand that that due to the sad circumstances in which igor tudor found himself in um going back to his um his homeland yeah spurs were hardly gonna this this the the parting of ways was hardly gonna happen the next day i think that seemed and you know there were a couple of um quotes saying look we were just going to leave it a few days and see and a mutual agreement I think is fair all round fish with this situation

6:11Marcus Speller: yeah because I imagine that would involve well the way I read that particularly in football is that he has been sacked but they've worded it in a way yeah they've almost handed him a bit of an olive branch at the end because it's like you don't need this what does it matter what it reads in public which serves the club as well let's not forget because they've actually made the decision to put him in and if they suddenly fire him, he's like, you know, you've done it again. Yeah, but I mean... But at least you didn't hand him any money to spend. But I think it is... Too late. I think it is fair to judge it on those terms, though, that they have fired him.

6:46Marcus Speller: Because as grim as it sounds, it's probably, you know, it would rank as one of the better decisions they've made this season, having already put him in in the first place. Yeah, yeah. I, yeah, you know, there were a lot of people when this appointment was made that were talking about how, you know, not many of them backwards, but you kind of, you want to see the positives in like, why they made this decision. And there was a lot of talk about how he is kind of a natural born, quote unquote, firefighter. And it spoke volumes really that whether or not, whether he was or wasn't, you know, it was in his second press conference where he was like, my God, have you seen the state of that fire?

7:25Marcus Speller: It's the film Backdraft, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. But on the front as well. It was front draft. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:31Pete Donaldson: Please, you open the door, Eger. As we go in, you open it.

7:35Marcus Speller: I think I saw, do you remember 999? Yeah. Is it Michael Burke? Yeah, Michael Burke. No, no, no.

7:42Pete Donaldson: Lifesavers or whatever. Yeah, yeah.

7:43Marcus Speller: And they'd go through real stories and in the intervals between the stories, they'll give you advice. I remember one of the things, imagine watching this as an eight-year-old. Don't eat yellow snow. If your house is on fire and you go to open a door, make sure you're lying on the ground so that the back draft shoots through. I don't remember thinking I'm going to remember that When I'm crawling through A burning house You touch the doorknob

8:05Pete Donaldson: Don't you? It's your doorknob Yeah And never put fireworks

8:08Marcus Speller: In your pocket

8:09Pete Donaldson: No If it's a hot knob Be careful If it's a cold knob It's an invitation Yeah Right Hot knobs yes Hot knob at night Shepard's Delight Yeah

8:22Marcus Speller: Short title please I can't even remember What the hell I was saying We were talking about Backdraft But it was We were talking about The film Backdraft This is a podcast all about the film, the 90s film about firefighting. Backdraft now. Spurs. Tudor. But, I mean, the fact they were in the position in the first place to have to hire this guy, the fact that they then had to pull the cord in him with seven games left of the season. It's all pretty grim. I do not know how they go from here beyond just the players coming together and doing it themselves. I don't think it matters. I know we're going to get onto this, but I don't think it matters who ends up taking charge between now and the end of the season.

9:01Marcus Speller: But the players have got to look around and as much as they might have, you know, disliked this recent period, you know, their latest manager, they should probably do with just installing a few mirrors in that dressing room. If you look into that, you'll find who the problem is. I kind of felt for Igor Hotdor. He inherited a battered squad and it was kind of like, you know, taking a Ford Capri off face-up marketplace and trying to like run it in Le Mans which a previous Spurs manager might be able to do but certainly he couldn't and it was like a team completely bereft of confidence just unable and quite fearful of expressing themselves and I just thought that they were showing a little bit of signs that a system was sort of coming together under him but he just didn't have enough runway to get off it really and I mean we're obviously going to come on to talk about the favourite the betting favourite and someone who's clearly up for the job in Roberto De Zerbe.

9:59But I do fancy that he's probably not the greatest candidate at this moment in time. And it has to be Sean Dyche for me, I'm afraid.

10:07Marcus Speller: Well, to be fair, I'm stealing the point you made before we went on air, Marcus. Oh, no, don't say that.

10:13Pete Donaldson: Let's stick to football. Let's stick to football, please. Yeah.

10:16Marcus Speller: But you were talking about, you know, the level of player that were in that squad and actually like someone like De Zerbe in the way that he likes to play his football, that's probably more attuned to what that group of players might be able to do. They didn't say like a rear guard, you have the ball, we'll work without it. Because actually one of the many criticisms leveled at Tudor during his short tenure was his reluctance to use people like Xavi Simons, who is the ball carrier that Spurs have been crying out for. Obviously had a tough start to the season, but ends up playing quite well and doing really well in that Atletico game.

10:52Pete Donaldson: in that second leg

10:53Marcus Speller: and then not playing on the weekend and there's the point

10:56Pete Donaldson: in Europe they've actually done alright obviously in the game against Atletico in Madrid but they were calamitous errors you can't really plan for that so it was almost a bit of an unfair one you know sliding door sort of moments what could have happened in that tie I still think they would have been beaten it's the confidence though isn't it that creates those problems but it's the decision to put in Kinski which backfires and so Tudor was toast when they lost at home to Nottingham Forest 3-0 and again, you know, to quote certain people, well, they tried for 20 or 40 minutes or whatever it was.

11:28Pete Donaldson: It's like, come on. And I think that perhaps with his previous jobs, not knowing too much about them, you know, if you think about if Tudor is the so-called firefighter, you know, we've seen that in this country with certain managers coming in. It's a certain type of player and actually they benefit from let's do the basics. Let's, you know, do all that good old-fashioned stuff and we'll fight our way out of it. this Tottenham, this squad of Spurs players, players who've played for, you know, lots of, you know, high levels of international football. You think of Simmons playing in the Euro, scoring goals, and Colin Mawani, he won the World Cup.

12:04Marcus Speller: Look at how many of their players are away on international duty. Well, indeed, yeah.

12:07Pete Donaldson: So this is a very different type of squad to your usual team that is fighting relegation. I know you can point at West Ham and Forrest and say, but they've got international players and so on and so forth. But I don't think it's an outrageous thing to say that this Tottenham Hotspur team should not be bleeding 17th at any point of the season, let alone with seven games to go. You know, they've lost five of their last six. They're all over the shop. They did not take any confidence from that point at Anfield or indeed that better performance against Atletico Madrid. It did not drip into the Forest game, which was an enormous game.

12:43Pete Donaldson: One of the, you know, their biggest game of the season. What do you do? I've said red napping, purely on the vibes. It seems incredibly unlikely at the time of recording. Roberto De Zerbe is the front runner and the breaking news as we record is he is open to the job. They want him. It's going to happen. Sean Dyche is in London drinking a Guinness over the weekend. So there's that as well. Yeah.

13:02Marcus Speller: How do you know that?

13:03Pete Donaldson: But have you ever seen Roberto De Zerbe in a Hooters though? Right. Okay. That's a good point actually. Has he been in there? What do you mean? Sean Dyche, we remember him at Nottingham 1. Oh yes. Did he go to a Hooters? Come on. I can't remember that. And David Cartlidge was on the show and he said it was a very good Hooters.

13:20Marcus Speller: Right I was in Nottingham on Friday I should have gone in and seen if he was in there He's still here with Fanny Clark Excellent wings

13:30Pete Donaldson: What do you mean you should have gone in there You should have looked around the restaurant Yeah But look

13:35Marcus Speller: Deish, table for four

13:38Pete Donaldson: But Deserby's going to come in And I take the point that I thought maybe Deish was going to come in I think the sticking point with Deish was He doesn't want to be seen as the firefighter As the escape artist he doesn't want to sort of go at this stage in his career because he's not that old of course he doesn't want to be seen as how Sam Allardyce was maybe two or three seasons ago whenever he got that Leeds United to which I said tough shit well I think that's probably what Spurs were saying

14:02Marcus Speller: he could make a choice to fight against that by not taking this job

14:05Pete Donaldson: and that's he's talking but he was in the pub apparently talking about how much he loved Ricky Villa he's a good player he was a good player but be a bit more contemporary say David Villa Aston Villa any of the other Vias Yeah, but he didn't play for...

14:22Marcus Speller: Andres Villas-Villas.

14:25Pete Donaldson: All the Villas.

14:26Marcus Speller: I think the thing that he's trying to, I suppose, Daesh in particular, we're going a bit on a tangent here, but I suppose the thing he's trying to do to assuage that and distance himself from... I suppose that, what is it? That reputation as it were. Stink, that funk. Yeah, well, actually that's a better way of putting it. But he's asked for an 18-month contract.

14:49Pete Donaldson: And I get that from Deich, because again, he doesn't want to be pigeonholed with that. The fact is, though, a club like Spurs, there's only one reason why they may look to Deich, and that is it. That is the reality of it. But if they are looking for a manager who they think, look, if we get him in, he may even stick around in the championship. It seems very unlikely, I admit, that if Spurs do get to Zerbe, which is very much on the cards.

15:13Marcus Speller: Can a manager go on loan to another club?

15:15Pete Donaldson: Yeah, maybe. Is that the deal?

15:17Marcus Speller: He'd probably look into that, wouldn't he?

15:18Pete Donaldson: That's a lovely shout, that is.

15:20Marcus Speller: Like, I'm not doing this. Call me in 12 months.

15:23Pete Donaldson: Isn't that what O 'Neal's got at Blackburn Road? He does. Yeah, no conflict of interest there. I won't manage the team, but I will do catering for Taylor Swift when they come to the Spurs stadium. You could do that? Yeah. NFL games as well? I'll do corporate stuff. There's a lot of corporate stuff to be done there. But I think with the Zerbe, Spurs, see, even getting Sean Dyche is that is an admission of defeat as well. The hiring of Igor Tudor is an admission of we've bollocks this up, we need someone to come and save us. They're now in a position, they have seven games to go and they are seven to...

16:00Pete Donaldson: This team, I just think if you get someone who just unlocks a little bit of what they have, they should be able to play their way out. They're not six points adrift or something. And if they get De Zerbi in, yes, after three games, De Zerbi could go absolutely mental and do an Antonio Conte and then the Spurs board go, ah. You know, the second last game to the season. We've got what we deserved. Like it, Peter. The second penultimate game of the season away at Stamford Bridge. It may be a case of, all right, Ari, we really need a favour. We cannot be relegated at Stamford Bridge. But if they get to Zerbien, I would think that that is bad news for the teams around Spurs.

16:38Pete Donaldson: I think if they get to Zerbien. If he keeps them up, even on goal difference, buy point, whatever, They will improve next season. Okay, I said this about Thomas Frank as well. But I just think they're in a place now where they think, we want Pochettino, but you can't wait around and offer him a championship job come the summer after he's been at the World Cup. De Zerbe, I get it. I said this about Frank as well, so I'll hold my hands up there. I'd still love to see old Redders vibe them out of it. But I mean, that is, again, it's a ludicrous kind of situation or suggestion, even though he is third, according to the book he's to get it at the time of recording

17:14Marcus Speller: he's not ludicrous

17:15Pete Donaldson: well indeed indeed but I mean what do you think of Deserby then I mean I'm you know talking about his credentials there he does know the Premier League unlike Igor Tudor of course he doesn't know this side to it though does he

17:26Marcus Speller: I think the no but I think I think the the thing he'll need to do is come in and just look at the players and be like this is how we should play whereas I suppose someone like you know maybe a domestic manager would look at the situation first and be like here's how we need to play. And that would be a big difference from someone like De Zerbe and anyone else from these shores. I definitely agree with that. The interesting thing you mentioned about Tudor and Daesh and the idea of picking one or going with one over the other. It's like every other country has their version of like a, certainly European country, has their version of a ham and cheese sandwich.

18:07Marcus Speller: And they all seem classier than our ham and cheese sandwich.

18:10Pete Donaldson: I know, you can't beat the Jeddah.

18:11Marcus Speller: Well, exactly. Yeah. But they can charge 10 quid for theirs. We're not going to be able to do that for ours.

18:17Pete Donaldson: See what you mean.

18:17Marcus Speller: Croc monsieur, fuck off.

18:18Pete Donaldson: Yeah, exactly, yeah. Just have it normal like us. Yeah, where is Le Gregg's here?

18:22Marcus Speller: But it's classier, isn't it? Yeah, I know what you mean. And it's almost like, actually, we're not doing that move because we're getting the guy who's done it for Juventus and Marseille. It's like, no, it kind of did the same thing. It did Igor. Peter.

18:34Pete Donaldson: Yes. Were you pleased? Pleased? Aroused? Surprised Surprised When a man called Adolf Hutter was linked to the job Yeah, I mean Is all of this chat just the fact that he's got the name Hutter And his first name's Adolf Is that the whole gag here? Well, I want to kind of I'm not saying we're not above it But I'm just saying that Is that why people got so excited about this story? Might I take us down an unhelpful alleyway for a moment? Right, okay You might see where I'm going with this Are you going to talk about the war? No I'm going to He's Austrian Famously Why in the year 1970 Are his Austrian parents calling him that?

19:23I don't know I don't know why you would do that Wasn't there a Colombian fella Who's got the full one You talked about it didn't you? A Peruvian

19:32Pete Donaldson: Anyway moving on swiftly

19:35Marcus Speller: Osama Bin Laden is who you're thinking of? A 23-year-old Peruvian football player. That's it. Osama Vin Laden. Vin Laden. Yeah. I love... Why are you just... Why have you put...

19:48Pete Donaldson: Because he's a fan of Vin Diesel as well, probably. And I've merged the two. Yeah. You really should have done it the other way around.

19:55Marcus Speller: His brother is named Saddam Hussein and his father plans to name their third sibling George Bush. It's... Oh, wow. After George W. Bush. Why not like the Simpsons or something? Mandy Moore or something something really 90s

20:10Pete Donaldson: Mandy Moore Mandy Moore

20:11Marcus Speller: I don't know

20:12Pete Donaldson: one manager who won't be available though for Spurs to choose is of course Jermaine Defoe who's been appointed manager of Woking it's not a sentence is it oh no we were going to go we were going to hire him he'll be a candidate for the Spurs job in November right mark my words

20:27Marcus Speller: we might miss out on the playoffs we can't get Jermaine in

20:30Pete Donaldson: true enough look I think again we're all thinking it would take something extraordinary for Deserby not to take the job perhaps if he glanced at the league table I don't know but I do I get it though That's quite a good team this is the treatment room Yeah I think I think De Zerbe either kind of gets in there and they play their way out of trouble which they definitely could do still lest we forget and and he calms it down and and into next season they have their manager he's then got a summer and we'll see how that works out or after three games he goes full Antonio Conte I think it's it's one of the two for me.

21:07Pete Donaldson: I completely agree. And I think I'd be open to both, quite frankly. Graham will be. Yes, in other managerial news, Pete Donaldson, of course this happened on Friday. What a Friday it was. We were looking forward to the England game. Let's forget what happened. Well, we can't. We're going to talk about it in the next part. It was Friday and Roy Hodgson got a job. He got a job. Returned to Bristol City 44 years after he first took charge of the club. He last managed them in 1982. Come on. I mean, they're sort of, I think they're 16th or 17th aren't they? So it's not like a full on deserve-y job but it's concerning.

21:41They're 12 points above the relegation zone. Yeah. They're not getting relegated. Yeah, that's alright then isn't it?

21:45Pete Donaldson: Yeah, it's fine, yeah. The very definition of a lovely old job. It is. He's interim until the end of the season which I think is a bit short-sighted for Bristol City. Give him an 18-month contract at least. Show him some fucking respect. Imagine Hudson I want an 18-month contract. Roy, come on. Roy. Come on now. Come on, let's not be silly. There was an amazing stat from Bill Edgar at the times going around social media. Roy Hodgson is 78 years old. That's not the stat. But he was alive at the same time as the player who scored the first ever FA Cup goal in November 1871. Hodgson was born in 1947 and the goal scorer Jarvis Kendrick died in 1949, age 96.

22:23That is an amazing stat. It is an amazing stat. To be fair, Jarvis Kendrick has done him a solid there. Has done that stat solid by living to 96. He's done a lot of the heavy lifting. Especially back in those days. Headed in those balls. Good God.

22:34Pete Donaldson: Yeah, you love a Jarvis as well. I do love a Jarvis. I'm glad to see a Jarvis in there. Yes, indeed. One final managerial update, if I may, everybody, before we break and then finally get back to the international football. This concerns Ian Holloway. Don't worry, he's still in a job, okay? But he's introduced a swearing ban for himself. Right. Maybe after that interview with the BBC where he said, and all that business. But Holloway is not allowing himself to swear at work or at home. Right. Following a conversation with midfielder Darren Oldacre, Holloway said of young Darren, I am really proud of him and he has changed me at home.

23:13Pete Donaldson: I have given up swearing. It was about time. I have always thought it was fine in football and then I take that home and my wife has the downside of it. I have gone nine days without it. Yeah. Why did Darren Oldacre decide to change his ways like some sort of ghost of Christmas past?

23:30Marcus Speller: Yeah. Also, it sounds like he went up to Holloway and said, Look, you have to stop swearing at your wife.

23:36Pete Donaldson: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

23:37Marcus Speller: You are a monster. You're awful at home.

23:40Pete Donaldson: This is okay on a Friday night, even Saturday night, but this carries into Monday morning. Yeah. You know, you're swearing throughout the week.

23:46Marcus Speller: Yeah, she's had to draw a technical area in your living room. What are you doing?

23:51Pete Donaldson: It's not healthy. He wakes up swearing. Fuck. Fuck. It's in the night. Night fucker. He gets into bed. Ian Holloway, night fucker. why do you have to ruin a perfectly fuck coming up coming up after this a not so scintillating level draw at Wembley his

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27:23Marcus Speller: He's making it slow because he's speaking it. He's speaking it. He's just speaking it. I think it's nice. It shows that you care.

27:30Pete Donaldson: He's having a go with what he's got. That was David Moyers. Zero Spanish. David Moyers at Royal Society, of course. Thanks to Friend of the Ramble, Teej, for sending us that clip. You can become a Friend of the Ramble too. Search patreon.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button on YouTube to get involved. Right then. Oh, I'm waiting for this. England won. Uruguay won. Uruguay snatched a draw at Wembley much to the delight of the travelling fans which I was sat very close to a largely second choice England side Peter you have to say and Uruguay couldn't beat it still probably should have been enough to get over the line though

28:08Marcus Speller: and Uruguay couldn't beat it second choice Cole Palmer

28:14Pete Donaldson: well you have to say look let's look at the fact Uruguay don't name the good players Uruguay have won twice as many World Cups as England Yes Look at us Yeah Can't even beat us We're in Uruguay right now Yeah I mean the last 10 minutes were good Did you enjoy the Wemble experience? I always You in Club FA? Were you No no no In the Emirates lounge? I don't know who sponsors them anymore Yeah no idea

28:35Marcus Speller: He was sat with those 11 England players

28:38Pete Donaldson: Yeah I was yeah God this lot of shit aren't they? Yeah it was actually a 36 man squad Right No I was very close to the front I had the Uruguayan fans to my right And behind me The guest of CryptoGoth.com Exactly Exactly. It's Frey Bentos. Is he Hungarian? Uruguay. Hungarian. Uruguay. I don't know. Yeah. Mantra del Monte. Where is he from? I don't know why Frey Bentos would... Why would he be making pies? What about Mr. Tickle? Where's he from?

29:04Marcus Speller: Frey Bentos is the capital city of Rio Negro in southwestern Uruguay. Oh, there you go. At the Argentina-Uruguay border. That's right. Well done.

29:13Pete Donaldson: There we are. It all makes sense in the end. Yeah. But, yeah, it was... Look, I always enjoy the Wembley experience, Peter. Right. I buck the trend on nights like this because, you know, it's an evening out of the football. It can't be that bad, all right? It can't be that bad. I appreciate, though, that it was a bore fest. But, my goodness, I get a thrill of seeing Harry Maguire in England's shirt. I ain't bringing the ball out of the fence like that! Yeah. That's as exciting as it got. I mean, even the England goal was like the shittiest goal you could see. Scored by Ben White amusingly, of course.

29:45Yeah, I mean, to be fair, like, Maguire sort of, by the end he was jumping on grenades left, right and centre. It was some proper last gasp stuff.

29:52Pete Donaldson: Oh, England nearly lost that game. But look, that goal Valverde scored the penalty, of course, tucked it away nicely. First goal England have conceded since that 3-1 loss to unofficial or official African champion Senegal in June 2025 at the city ground, of course. They managed six clean sheets in a row before this. None of this will matter, of course, when the tournament comes around. The man at the centre of the headlines, though, Vish was Ben White of course who scored a goal and then gave away a penalty at the end of the game he received some cheers and boos when he was brought on and even after the goal was scored there was some there was a cheer oh I got a minute yeah it's him and there was a few boos and cheers what do you make of the whole Ben White situation and coming back into the fray

30:36Marcus Speller: I feel like I don't know anything about what actually happened and neither do the boo boys of the England yeah well which is why I was a bit like just shut the fuck up just go home you're going to do that because it was like who are you loyal to in that situation because if you're loyal to England at the same time you can be like maybe don't be one of our players if that's what happens this happened if you remember

30:58Pete Donaldson: many years ago when David Bentley I think did he pull out of a squad or something along those lines and I remember being at Wembley and he was I will sanction a Bentley boo to be fair but anyway what do you think of I mean let's talk about the football side because clearly the supportership side of things. Yeah. I think we're all in agreement with.

31:20Marcus Speller: In terms of the football side, I don't know what Tuchel or anyone else expected. And actually, just to go on his post-match quotes, I think Tuchel was not fairly happy, but was satisfied with what he saw to a point. Because I suppose he's probably at the stage now where, good or bad, at least he can make judgments ahead of that, you know, picking that World Cup squad. So you could argue it didn't matter about the performance. He was the performance. He was always going to learn something about enough players to make this a worthwhile endeavor for him. Everyone's leggy. Yeah. Obviously the spectacle wasn't great.

31:54Marcus Speller: I have no qualms with the players playing quite selfishly. I think if you throw them in to that kind of environment with that on, you know, with a World Cup place on the line, you're going to get, for instance, Dominic Solanke doing a really nice turn, having a moment where he really should have played it to a Phil Foden. but having a shot from 25 yards instead. You're going to get moments like Noni Malawake before he came off injured. Cavaloon's shitty header. That was a shame for Cavaloon. Yeah, that was a bit of a shame.

32:26Pete Donaldson: And he'll be worried that that's his audition. And that's just how one's mind would go.

32:28Marcus Speller: But I actually think the players that came on in the second half, you know, probably had a clearer brief. Because it was like, you know, Cavaloon came on, tried a couple of nice touches. I personally wouldn't have picked him over Welbeck, but I don't think he disgraced himself beyond missing that chance. But yeah, I mean, I felt like maybe about 20 minutes in, I was like a bit dismayed that I was watching the game and also having to convince myself that for the bigger picture, this needs to happen.

33:01Pete Donaldson: Well, yeah, to me, clearly this was a case, and Tuchel admitted this really in some of his quotes, this was a case of him just wanting to meet certain individuals. Yeah, of course he might. I think Tuchel, I think he knows how he wants to play. I think, you know, if you look at, like on the BBC today, a lot of their writers and contributors have done their England starting XI. They're all nearly the same. I think the centre-half, there's a centre-half change. Some have gone Conzer and Stones, left-back. Some have gone O 'Reilly and Lewis Hall. Other than that, it's pretty much as you'd expect with Elliot Rice.

33:37Pete Donaldson: Oh, and Rodgers getting a lot of support, actually, or Bellingham in there. Saka Kane and Anthony Gordon. I think that Tuchel is well aware that this is going to be, you know, if England are going to go far in this tournament, for any team who goes far in this tournament, it's going to be arduous. It's going to be such a grind, more than ever, because it's such a huge tournament. The conditions are going to be harsh in terms of the heat and whatnot. There's going to be an awful lot of travel. I think for him, you know, he's also aware that certain positions, particularly at right back, he's got some players who have had injuries.

34:11Pete Donaldson: Now Luke was right to point out on Friday that Rhys James has played a lot more football this season than perhaps a lot of us thought. But, you know, he has had injury struggles, as had, say, Tino Livramento. So let's just meet someone and see them in the shirt now rather than in May, if you see what I mean. So he's done a bit of that. The one interesting one I thought, though, was Harry Maguire indeed, because Maguire to me just looked quite assured. He didn't have that much to do. England, to be fair to them, were in control of the game. It was pedestrian, but that was probably because England ensured it was, other than that last few minutes, as you mentioned, Peter.

34:43Pete Donaldson: But Maguire played the whole game. But Tuchel spoke about Maguire afterwards. He was asked about him and he said, with regard to his centre-halves, I haven't changed my mind. I see other players ahead with a different profile. I see Esri Konza ahead, Mark Gay ahead. I don't think anybody would argue with that. I see Trevor Chalabar, he mentioned, on the level of mobility is slightly ahead of him. Also John Stones. I needed to meet with Maguire in person to see how he acts within the group. And McGrath will stay with the squad for the Japan match. So there you are, Peter. You know, he said it there.

35:13Pete Donaldson: I do like Tuchel. He's incredibly honest. More so than perhaps any other England manager we've seen. But what did you make of that? I mean, yeah, I mean, to a certain extent, I think that's very helpful. Don't mention for Big Dan Byrne. No, well, he's going to be involved in this match, isn't he? He is. Involved in the next one. The thing about, I think he's less honest when it comes to the fact that he sort of values sort of versatility over sort of razzle-dazzle and actually being, you know, quite attacking. Which, going into a tournament where matches like this against Uruguay can't happen, you do sort of go, I do.

35:48I wish he was a bit more adventurous. I wish that. I know the referee sort of ruined the game a little bit.

35:53Pete Donaldson: Referee in Rar had shockers, yeah. I mean, the game should have finished nil-nil. What was the referee?

35:57Marcus Speller: Was the actual referee being arrested for this game as well? What was he doing?

36:03Pete Donaldson: I think the ref just got the vibe of the place. A Raho on Fordham was a particular low point for the ref. Oh my goodness. That was terrible.

36:09Marcus Speller: But the fact that they changed the yellow cards.

36:12Pete Donaldson: I mean, that was madness, yeah.

36:14Marcus Speller: Well, it was the second yellow and they were like, oh, yeah, he didn't realise he was booking him, so we'll just forget about that.

36:18Pete Donaldson: I mean, the atmosphere was so flat, there wasn't even a Mexican wave. And I missed out on that. I was disappointed that... You tried to get it started, didn't you? I tried, my dad did. But it was just being next to the Uruguay fans. I was a bit too low. I was too near the front, yeah. Hopefully we'll see something more... Oh, well, we definitely will. I mean if you see the players that are coming into this game and players who he's given a rest to he said again that to me the fact that he's given those players a rest I think Tuchel knows what he's doing that's what it smacks to me I go back to that win in Serbia where England were brilliant after the game it was an England performance we hadn't seen because if you remember Tuchel the first few games the first game I think it was Albania at home 2-0 very boring and you know a functional win would be the kindest way to describe it.

37:02Pete Donaldson: And after those first few games, and then there was the defeat to Senegal, I remember people saying, this is actually worse than the latter end of Southgate's time in terms of the entertainment value and so on. You know, what is he trying to do? When that Serbia result came in, he was purring, totally cut a different figure. And the look in his eye, and I thought, he's got them. He's got them where he wants them. And then subsequently then, obviously it's difficult, not difficult, but it's, when you play against teams that you should be beating, there are different ways of winning games of course but I just felt that the way it kind of went Tuchel was like yeah I know what I'm doing now he's got his feet under the desk so this international break this match as I say was a case of it's a meet and greet for that first game I think against Japan who were good against Scotland we'll come on to that in a minute I think we'll have to see something a bit more although even having said that I think he'll also say for crying out loud lads no injuries please yeah but I mean that's hard to get injured when your teams are sort of pulling out players left right and centre Arsenal players Peter you can say I'll say Arsenal players but how do you feel about England playing in red at home yeah we've got to flog the new kits I think you're getting a cut you've got to flog the new kit

38:22Marcus Speller: Scotland did it against Japan didn't they they did yeah they've got some lovely kits but they're very impressionable aren't they they knew they saw us doing it and they were like oh let's go do that Is that what it is?

38:31Pete Donaldson: Yeah, it must be. It absolutely must be that. Shake of the head from our Scottish producer, Rory, there. Yeah, one player who played pretty well, was given the Man of the Match Award, was James Garnovesh. He was put on corners as well.

38:46Marcus Speller: Yeah, good for him. I mean, yeah, a very good player. I wonder where he... He feels the most, like, Elliot Anderson-alike. Yes. If you think of it, I suppose, as ever, with international football, you think of the positions not necessarily by you know like we need a defensive midfielder or we need like backup on like a ball carrying midfielder or whatever it's the players in them that are first choice that it's easy to work backwards from and Garner is a brilliant light for light for Elliot Anderson if you know Anderson's injured or whatever and I think we thought he did that role really well I was quite impressed I mean he's had a brilliant season

39:24Pete Donaldson: he has yeah no doubt and he's got there very much of merit I think maybe in Alex Scott at Bournemouth, he was maybe looking at that in a previous squad.

39:32Marcus Speller: Yeah, but do you think Alex Scott is a similar player? No. I feel like he's a hybrid between... Well, this is it. And you could say that about Anderson as well, though.

39:40Pete Donaldson: The role Anderson, you know, next to Rice a bit deeper. Some say maybe that's not his best position, but clearly he could do it.

39:47Marcus Speller: No, but I suppose the thing... We had this conversation with Declan Rice, and it makes sense that we're having it now with Anderson.

39:53Pete Donaldson: Yeah.

39:54Marcus Speller: It's the role you play for your club doesn't necessarily have to be the role you play for your national team. But in Anderson, you've got someone who ultimately, by proxy of being slightly junior as well, has to lose something so Declan Rice can be more Declan Rice, basically. And I don't think that's a bad thing at all. And if anything, you know, you probably touched on it there, if there's a situation where Declan Rice can't play, if he's injured or suspended or whatever, would you have any qualms with both Garner and Anderson starting together in that base?

40:26Pete Donaldson: We may well see it against Japan because, yeah, incredibly, Declan Rice, along with Bukai Saka, has pulled out of the England squad. Noni Maduweke went off injured in the first half against Uruguay. That was the only problem with getting Uruguay in. They might kick the shit out of us.

40:40Marcus Speller: But they knew that, didn't they? They wanted something that wasn't friendly. I think the South American sides

40:44Pete Donaldson: are always a good opponent because they're always up for beating a European side. It's a different type of football. It's a team you may well come up against, you know, and so on and so forth. so look I get it but Maduweke went off and yeah inexplicably Saka and Rice have pulled out Gabriel will give them a greeting when they go back to the training camp as well

41:05Marcus Speller: it happens all the time

41:06Pete Donaldson: all the time yeah yeah yeah Hincapie has also left the Ecuador squad as well so nice for Arsenal to have a reunion in this international break whatever one may think of that but there are players coming back from England who do fancy it Harry Kane Dean Henderson Big Dad Burn Mark Gay Esri Consen, Nico O 'Reilly, Elliot Anderson, Morgan Rodgers and Anthony Gordon. This is another chance for Rodgers, though, because Bellingham obviously hasn't played for a while for Real Madrid. I think Tuchel said, didn't he, that he's there to kind of get with certain players who are obviously going to go to the World Cup, get them in the squad, you know, again, get that kind of club atmosphere going and have certain individuals who will be there.

41:45Pete Donaldson: But you'd expect Rodgers to start. And as I say, for some people, Rodgers is in that pole position for the number 10 shirt. Phil Foden, okay, he was playing on one leg after that tackle, although he obviously went off. And Cole Palmer, I was struggling a little bit. I don't know. Cole Palmer looks like, and he's not a too good player for me, but Cole Palmer just looks like, I know his team form, his club form has been a bit patchy, but he looks like... Those goals at the club World Cup final. He's done it in North America. Can he do it again? The look of the way that he just always looks unshackled compared to everyone else.

42:21There was a moment, I think, where he put a pass through. I can't remember who it was through, but he hit the call keeper, and Cole Palmer had the ball at his feet, and the keeper was in no man's land. And it was like, at least put a ball in, and he didn't. But other than that, I thought he looked one of the most creative players that we've seen in a little while for England. So it's just, I like Cole Palmer for England, not so much for Chelsea, but I like him for England.

42:44Pete Donaldson: Would you like to see him share a stage with Donald Trump again come the summer? Yeah, I'd like to see that reunification, that reuniting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there we are. So England-Japan tomorrow night, of course.

42:56Marcus Speller: Sorry, I just had a thought there. If they're resharing a stage, England have won the World Cup.

43:03Pete Donaldson: Yeah, exactly. Good point. Well done.

43:05Marcus Speller: Wow.

43:06Pete Donaldson: You've caught up with me. Would you take a World Cup win?

43:08Marcus Speller: You can understand why I was lost, given Pete's lack of enthusiasm when answering that question. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think, yeah. It's a very stupid boy. That's my Donald Trump. That's my best Donald Trump. He's better for England than Joe. He's eating the dogs. He's eating the dogs.

43:28Pete Donaldson: All right. Coming up after this, Scotland and Senegal.

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44:52Pete Donaldson: Join me, Max Rushton, and the Guardian's expert soccer journalist for the latest action and news from the Premier League to the Champions League and all the way to the World Cup. We'll have chat more out of the box than a Dominic Sobber's live free kick, more panellists than Chelsea of players, and unlike VAR, we know where to draw the line. For fine margins, fun debates, and full-blooded tackles, Football Weekly, listen wherever you get your podcasts and watch the full episodes on YouTube.

45:20Pete Donaldson: Scotland 0 Japan 1 Scotland's first game since their November win over Denmark which of course secured their first World Cup in 28 years this was new was exciting but again it's that it's that funny time in the season where people going through the motions and so on and so forth it did result in some boos full time so how many boo boys there were. I don't know. I wouldn't like to put a percentage on it. Scottish boos carry a bit better. Do you think so? Yeah. Stevie Clark responded to the boo saying yes, the boos were surprising. It was disappointing. It's just the modern way. It seems to be if you lose a game, you get booed.

46:05Pete Donaldson: You just have to deal with it. Yeah, they were poor and they need to sort of pick things up a little bit because this is the sort of level they're going to need to pick up at least a point from and Japan were a very patched up side. There was like, you know, square pegs and round holes all over that pitch. Maeda was captain in the side for the first time and he didn't know how the coin toss worked. Is that right? He was like going, what do I do next? What's going on? I don't know what's going to do. And that's the leadership you need, isn't it? He's probably a left back as well. A left wing back.

46:37Very weird.

46:38Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Well, I mean, I think, yeah. Japan are a good side, lest we forget. Obviously, as you mentioned, they were a bit patched up. they've lost five in the last 40 games since the 2022 World Cup Scotland have not won a friendly at home here's a stat for you Scotland have not won a friendly at home since March 2016 when they beat Denmark what? love beating Denmark thanks to an early goal from Matt Ritchie nah that's I mean that sure's the edge so they hate playing friendlies at home they should have played this one they should have done what France they've not won a home

47:06Marcus Speller: friendly in a decade

47:07Pete Donaldson: it's mental that isn't it they should have done what France and Portugal did and played friendly in North America. That was a bit cheeky. Did you see that? France beat Colombia. Yes, yeah. Three or four won in the end last night. Why did they do that? It's naughty, isn't it? A little bit cheeky. Yeah.

47:24Marcus Speller: Blakening some money on the side. No, genuinely, I reckon there's a celebrity element there. Do you think so? Because they felt more like exhibition games. Like the France-Brazil game at Gillette Stadium. They were just laughing and joking with each other. Like one of those World 11 matches you see sometimes with Ronaldinho with his big fat belly going. Yeah, 100%. It felt a little bit like, you know, it was like the moments between shooting on a Nike advert.

47:49Pete Donaldson: I know what you mean. Although Colombia were trying, especially at the end when they scored, they were giving it plenty. So it was keenly contested, that one, as you'd expect. But back to Scotland, though. Look, again, 1-0 home loss to Japan. It won't matter two hoots come the tournament. My concern, though, with Scotland is, and a lot of people, particularly down south, going, oh, but what about the Denmark game? That was amazing. and yes, it was one of the greatest international football nights this island has ever seen. That's in the bag. That's it. That's it. Three legendary goals scored in a match.

48:21Pete Donaldson: It's stunning stuff. But I think the problem still persists with Scotland. I think with Steve Clarke in charge, he's not going to play expansive football. He's not going to sort of quote-unquote go for it. It's not in his modus operandi.

48:34Marcus Speller: But that's been the bind all the way through, hasn't it? Yes. That's the frustration from fans. it's like, you know, even against Japan, there were moments where as soon as they stepped up a gear, they were getting through. Like, Moktomogane should have scored that chance. Should have scored. It's a great save, but should have scored, yeah. Robertson kind of gets encouraged to drive forward from the fans and ends up, you know, on this, you know, in the box, having driven in from left back. There were so many moments where it felt like, oh yeah, if you just keep doing that, you've got to find another way in.

49:05Marcus Speller: And that's just been Steve Clarke's time at Scotland, you know, in a nutshell.

49:10Pete Donaldson: And you have to give Steve Clarke credit for what he's achieved. You know, the first World Cup.

49:13Marcus Speller: I don't think anyone's not doing that.

49:16Pete Donaldson: But my point is, though, that these methods have arguably... Well, I mean, statistically, he's one of the best Scotland managers in recent years. Some might even, you know, extrapolate that a little bit longer. The fact is, he's got them to a World Cup having such a long absence. And he got it by winning the group, remember. If you look at it, though, and again, how much does qualification matter? Some teams, it doesn't matter how they qualify. We've seen with Portugal, for example, they turn up and they do well. With Scotland, I think it is a little bit indicative. The reason why they won the group is because Denmark completely bollocksed up that home game against Belarus, inexplicably.

49:50Pete Donaldson: And even in the game against Denmark, Denmark get a ludicrous sending off. So I don't want to take it away from Scotland, but I have sympathy with some of those Scotland fans who are booing and are concerned. we say oh but what about the last Euros well exactly it was a winner takes all game okay against Hungary I understand Hungary won the game but they didn't qualify for the next round as in the best third place finished teams but I think that's it I think that there's a worry that if Scotland turn up to the World Cup they try these methods they're in a group with Morocco and Brazil Morocco and Brazil are better than Scotland Morocco are a very good side some might say they're African champions okay they might say that And Brazil under Ancelotti, you know, come on.

50:35Pete Donaldson: That first game against Haiti, we're going to talk about this as the tournament goes on, but I'm just saying, that game is an enormous amount of pressure. They have to win it. And I think they have to show a little bit more something. That would be my, you know, chat on Scotland, because you've done remarkably well to get there, etc. and so on. This is a good Scotland squad, lest we forget. And I want to see a little bit more from Clark. I don't think we might see it. And I get the concern from those fans. I still wouldn't boo, though. I think that's a bit silly. But Scotland will play Ivory Coast on Tuesday at Everton's Hill Dickinson Stadium.

51:09Pete Donaldson: Like to see it. How about that? And it's playing the coast on the coast. So is this technically a home game for Scotland? Yep.

51:16Marcus Speller: Would it have been that difficult to... Why are they... Mark Liverpoolian's not English.

51:21Pete Donaldson: Which stadium in Britain... It's like Valkan City. Which stadium in Britain has the most blue seats? Good point, actually. Great point. That's not Ibrox.

51:34Marcus Speller: Really good point, yeah. Play it there.

51:36Pete Donaldson: Yeah, Stamford Bridge, no, we're better off at the...

51:40Marcus Speller: Oh, can we play at Yeovil Town, please? No, it has to be in blue. It has to be in blue.

51:45Pete Donaldson: It's going to be the right show to blue. Oh, dearie me. I look forward to that game. It should be good. Gentlemen, if I may crowbar this story in about a former Scotland manager. Sir Alex Ferguson. Raphael da Silva, he of former Manchester United fame, explained that, this is a quite bizarre story that happened when he was at Manchester United. He explained that Sir Alex Ferguson liked Anderson, the Brazilian, of course, very much. He was a favourite of his. And he didn't mind it once when Anderson apparently, as it's described in the story by da Silva, he didn't mind it when Anderson slapped Sir Alex Ferguson in the balls in a lift Raphael said why have we never heard this story before well I don't know but Raphael said there was a time when everybody was in the elevator which is quite a sentence in itself I know the whole squad fit it in but not long after Anderson looks at Sir Alex and goes boom sack slap so presumably this was a thing that they were sort of doing quite a lot well I don't know I mean something that's come out in other podcasts recently when Tim Howard was talking about this thing in English football where people say Eggy boff and then you have to do it.

52:57Pete Donaldson: Even Phil Neville was adhering to it. So maybe he said Eggy boff slaps Sir Alex in the bollocks. I don't know. Even in Tim Howard's wildest kind of anecdotes, Phil Neville is still seen as like a point dexter kind of dickhead. He still did it though. To be fair, he still did it. Yeah, but he's worrying about it. We're going to get in trouble off David Moyes. Oh, well.

53:18Marcus Speller: I don't want to hit him in the bollocks. No, you have to because I say so.

53:21Pete Donaldson: Phil, stop being such a dweeb. So De Silva when he saw this happen he went, oh my goodness, the old man is going to turn into a beast. Everyone is like paralyzed. He fucked up. But Ferguson starts to laugh. So we all start to laugh. Right, yeah. Outrageous.

53:35Marcus Speller: Hitting an old man in the bollocks. Do it again, Ando. I think there's something to be said for men who are in that kind of environment, probably appreciate being one of the boys. Even Sir Alex Ferguson's kind of... The fact that he's... If Lee Sharp did it, he wouldn't be happy.

53:51Pete Donaldson: Unintended he's had the bollocks to do it. He's had the one Fair enough You've had your one I respect that Gentlemen I want to talk about The much aforementioned In this pod Senegal They paraded The AFCON trophy After they They beat Peru 2-0 In a friendly At the weekend

54:08Marcus Speller: So they took it out of Because you know It was under lock and key Yes Armed guards Yes They were more than comfortable Taking it out for this parade I think they had a bit of security

54:17Pete Donaldson: With all the fans in the stadium Imagine that

54:19Marcus Speller: Snipers as well if you see any Moroccan ball boy

54:25Pete Donaldson: around the Stade de France amazing amazing yeah yeah Senegal's first game since the AFCON final in January but you're right Peter he was in the Stade de France so he left left Senegal yeah to get there I know was it a replica though yeah maybe it was a decoy decoy trophy and if you

54:41Marcus Speller: if someone from Morocco went to like celebrate and put it up ink would burst electric and you get the Senegalese flag on your face and you can't get it off yeah

54:51Pete Donaldson: that's you

54:51Marcus Speller: that'd be the way to do it

54:52Pete Donaldson: oh dear yeah Captain Khalidou Koulibaly and his team ended the pitch did a lap of honour around the ground before he and goalkeeper Edouard Mendy went to the presidential box and placed the trophy there that's a proper flag I know there's a lot of Senegalese in France but you do start going why are you doing it here

55:09Marcus Speller: let's do it at home there's a lot of Moroccans in France as well yeah true

55:13Pete Donaldson: I think it was a test I think they thought alright okay then come and get it if you think you're on it

55:18Marcus Speller: You could actually see from one of the photos that they had the trophy there, and next to it there was like a box that was like upturned, with a little piece of string as well, leading like off screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

55:30Pete Donaldson: Love that. Senegal also wore a kit with two stars above their crest, indicating two Afghan titles. Come on, they've gone full in. They have gone absolutely full in. This is brilliant. It's going to run and run and run. I absolutely love it.

55:43Marcus Speller: Do you think like because of the nature of like African football and the fact that this could come up, you know, this could happen in the first place, both the nature of the final and the fact that they, you know, gone back on the result here and awarded it to Morocco, just have another playoff game.

56:02Pete Donaldson: Oh, no, they can't. He can't have that.

56:06Marcus Speller: That's the easiest way to get through this.

56:08Pete Donaldson: That would be unbelievably good for the neutral and the ramble. Exactly. I think that would be hard to police I agree with Peter It would have to be behind closed doors On like Reunion Island or something like that The appropriately named Reunion Island I'll tell you what Have it in space Have it in space, space football What about the pitch we saw floating Remember that game of football they had in between Two balloons Hot air balloons What could go wrong Don't look at me like that as if to say you were not privy to that story as well. There we are. If you're going to do it, then have it in between some hot air balloons.

56:47Pete Donaldson: If not, then just let Senegal have the trophy. Yeah. Everyone gets a trophy. There we are. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAST Creator Network. We're back tomorrow for the mailbag. So subscribe to make sure you do not miss it. The Alex Ferguson ball bag, if you will. Ball slapping bag. Also,

57:04Marcus Speller: look, as we said, old man, imagine how low to the ground Anderson would have to go.

57:08Pete Donaldson: He's quite short, I suppose. Maybe he was the man for the job, quite clearly. That was the only job that happened that day.

57:16Marcus Speller: Why have you even brought that into discussion here? No one thought that he gave him a handjob.

57:22Pete Donaldson: Thanks for listening. We're back with a mailbag tomorrow. Lots of love. Thanks, Vish. The night of the realm. Jesus Christ. Hey, come on. Thanks, Peter. Red wine spurting out. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye. And thank you, Anderson's right hand.

57:44The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network

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