I came here for a penalty competition

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3:31That's g-a-b-b dot com forward slash getgab. Gab. Tech in steps. Independence for them. Peace of mind for parents. I came here for a shootout I came here for a shootout Penalties all over the gaff Welcome to the Football Ramble It is Thursday the 29th of October I'm Pete Donaldson I'm Luke Moore And I am Jim Camden

4:11Oh, boys, boys, boys. One for the purists, Peter. There's a lot of purists out there, old school Ramble purists, who'd be delighted to hear the old Tom Hardy back, won't they, Jim? Yeah, one of our mainstays for a good couple of years, wasn't it? We did what we always do with our impressions on our shows, where we do them so much, they become so far removed from the actual person, that you have to retire them, because they don't sound anything like what they're supposed to after about three months. I'll be honest, I've forgotten it was originally Tom Hardy. Yeah, exactly. Because it sounds like some kind of constipated rhino now, that's why.

4:49It sounds like a man eating a mouthful of lockets. I tell you what, boys, I could watch Barkall with his straw hair, missing penalties all day. Give me some of that sweet, sweet nectar. Just, I mean, wow. Liverpool extended their most excellent record against Chelsea from the penalty spot. Liverpool won. Chelsea won in the Carabao last night. Liverpool winning 6-5 on pens. Were you sopping, Pete? Were you sopping? I was sopping. It's just that Barkall moment really ticked a lot of boxes for me. his hair is in he needs some Timote he needs some 80s Timote in it because in the World Cup when he upset Jude Bellingham he'd clearly been on the bench or he'd clearly not been playing so he'd basically spent a bit of time putting a bit of gel in his hair and yesterday obviously he played and sky'd a penalty and he had the most straw-like hair you've ever seen in your life yeah it's a good takeaway I for one was delighted to see that Barco missed a penalty I think his behaviour is frankly absolutely ridiculous, given that you can't even get any of the teams he seems to be involved with.

5:59So it's amazing. When you think about it, yes, it partly is because he's Argentina and that stuff with Bellingham in the World Cup kind of sticks in the craw. But it was also, if you take your time to, don't worry, I'll come on to the penalty in a minute, but you take time to break down Barco's behaviour against England. He basically taunted one of the best players in the world, who I think has just been voted 11th in the Ballon d 'Or, and he's undoubtedly had one of the best, you know, one of the best performers at the World Cup. Been seen in his pants recently. Has he? Yeah, another welcome bonus.

6:30He's doing some Carmen Klein adventures. Well, he's a very handsome man. Yeah, that's not the same as being seen in your pants, is it? That makes it sound like he's sort of like been fleeing a scene in just his underwear. An eye cloud glitch. Like Joe Cole that time. Yeah. Anyway, and then Barco, when he does actually play, ends up not really contributing much. I don't even think he started this game, did he? He just got off the bench and then he takes a penalty and it's terrible. And I also would like to spare a moment for quite literally the worst man in football, Wesley Fofana, also missing a penalty.

7:04Everything is absolutely as it should be. The worst man in football? Can we examine that a bit further? Out of all of the terrible men in football, why is he the worst one? Well, I mean, you guys are welcome to put forward your own candidates, of course. but he was found guilty of eight counts of dangerous driving in May of last year. There were some videos released of it. It is absolutely extraordinary to watch and I don't mean that in a good way. It's some of them, genuinely, I know I sound like Alan Partridge here but it's like genuinely some of the most dangerous driving I've ever seen. Even worse than the Whippet enthusiast who played in Jossie Gullis recently.

7:47well I would say yes right let me put it in perspective right so Fofana had 47 points on his licence I mean I don't know how do you get to 47 how is that even possible how is that even possible you've got to do it all in one goal you've got to do it all in one crazy month so he got sentenced to 18 month community an 18 month community order and 300 hours community service I don't know if he's done it or not maybe he's doing it in Liverpool that's why I missed the penalty last night but he is genuinely a dreadful man and I think you should take my word for it good player no issue with that His penalty went as high as his insurance, I imagine.

8:20I mean, yeah, that's a pretty robust case. But you know sometimes, I'm a big fan of this in public life. You see people, it's nuanced, right? You don't know if it's different sides of the story and stuff like that. And then sometimes you see people and you go, no, that is a genuinely bad guy. 40-odd points on the license is bad guy stuff, yeah. Real bad man, as they say. Real bad man, yeah. 47, listen, 47 points, 45 different baby cars. Exactly, exactly. Real bad man. Real bad driver. I mean, this was a match that took a little while to get going, if indeed it ever did, but in spite of itself, it felt like a proper night of cup football.

9:02The crowd at Anfield, they were hot for this match, and I enjoyed it for that, if that is alone. I think actually the start of the game was interesting because firstly Jordan Henderson was starting against his old club at Anfield, so that was quite fun. Is that a spicy meatball, Jim? Yeah, it's about a medium, isn't it? It's medium hot. My mate, Jimmy, texted and said that Lavia, Casado and Henderson for Chelsea, has there been a more booed midfield trio playing together exclusively for transfer reasons? That's true, isn't it? Yeah, all three of them. Very booed. That was a fun little kind of slightly kind of pantomime-y sideshow to that.

9:42But I thought the game started fairly quickly with some quite slick passing from Chelsea in particular. But it quickly sort of fizzled out into kind of nothing, didn't it? And both penalties were very avoidable, but like very welcome because not much was going on otherwise. So it's one of those games where it's like, yeah, you owe us penalties, actually. It's nice that it goes straight to penalties as well, Jim, isn't it? Yeah, definitely. in some examples it is nice that it goes straight to penalties, yes. Even if the opposing manager was preparing for extra time. Yeah, I listened to your Arsenal show yesterday about that.

10:20I mean, Luke and Laura were absolutely Best one of the season. Look, all I will say on the subject is, right, it was never realistic that Arsenal were going to win a quadruple, so why is everyone surprised we've gone out of the Carabao Cup? I think some people in the media, some of them on this zoom call right now are just being silly about it all i just think people listen to football ramble who aren't arsenal fans uh and they want to you know they want to consume your over over at the only uh the thing about arsenal uh i think they should for that particular uh episode yeah i think also jim i mean the fact that like you are accusing basically me and pete of being silly in the media is not the insult you perhaps think it is no maybe you're right We are regularly...

11:02You've driven us to this. Exactly. And there is also quite a bit of splashback coming onto me there. 20 years next year, Jim. Enjoy the anniversary. I would also... It's an absolute brag, isn't it? We've talked about having to have a job. It's amazing. Can I just go back to the aforementioned penalty that Chelsea were awarded? Yes. Yeah, okay. Because of Graven Birch's transgression, indiscretion, ill-advised challenge, whatever you want to call it. because it genuinely was a brain-dead challenge. I think Graven Birch is an interesting case, actually, because last season, which is a season that ultimately cost Arnas a lot of his job, of course, as we all know, you would say that the only two outfield players worth a damn, the only two players who felt, who were told they ain't worth a dollar but felt like millionaires, were Ryan Graven Birch and Dominic Sabozlai.

11:59Everyone else had kind of average to poor season. Then Graven Birch starts the season badly, then has a really genuinely good performance

12:13against Man City up to about an hour when he gets sent off. And obviously they lose the game after that pretty handily. I mean, the whole thing falls to pieces after that. It was nil-nil at the time. And then he goes and does this against Chelsea in the Cup. And it's just an absolute litany of midfield errors. He gets caught out of position. He's in the wrong side. he makes a bad decision to challenge when he can never win the ball and it's an obvious penalty and then the whole game becomes difficult after that. I know they've gone through on penalties but just making the point. Look, Gravenberch hasn't found any way of flourishing yet under Iriola.

12:44I think he's a really good player but I just think that it's interesting how you go from that Arna Slott's goose is cooked but Gravenberch is one of the few players playing well. Iriola comes in, Liverpool's record overall has been pretty good, people are excited about Iriola, he's a really good manager and Gravenberch appears to be one of the few players who's not playing that well at all. It's kind of a weird inverse of the whole thing. So it just kind of, it just reminds me of that in microcosm, really. I suppose he's been played in quite a lot of different positions under different managers now.

13:10So that's probably a little bit of a head spinner, isn't it? I would say on his tackle, it's a perfectly good bit of defending if Kaiseido's not actually there. Yeah, exactly. Where's he come from? Where's he come from? Can you get out of my way, please? I thought you were a ghost. I thought he was just going straight through you. Yeah, tis the season. Yeah, his penalty was terrible as well. But my highlight of the bad moments in terms of technical execution and the penalty shootout was Costa Simakas doing kick-ups before that penalty. Yeah, you can't do that. And then blasted it over the bar.

13:42I think you said on the WhatsApp, you really have to finish it. You really have to score your penalty if you're doing kick-ups. I saw him doing that and genuinely my instinctive reaction was, you're here to work. It's not a social club, Constantino. you're here to do a job get it done if you want to do keep your ups at the end that's okay but you're here to work you know yeah it was obviously it was great to see all of those lovely penalties but there were some interesting sort of situations in the penalty shootout like Emmanuel Omega he misses his penalty and then smashes home the rebound on the vault yeah it was a great finish you'd love to see that it was a great finish at the second doesn't count doesn't count I heard the referee shout doesn't count doesn't count but I just I would like to see that a little bit more instead of just sort of going oh no oh, I missed it.

14:28Just run up wherever the ball is to try and dribble it in, please. Levi Colwell and Joe Gomez, pick of the bunch. A couple of absolute riflers. Yeah, and Joe Gomez has famously not scored a goal for Liverpool, and he still has not scored a goal for Liverpool, but that was a lovely moment all the same. Do you think, by the way, what's the reason, and we might not have time to go into this, so just move on if you want, I don't mind. Why don't penalties and penalties shootouts count with goals? It's arguably the most high-pressure situation you can be in, and you are putting the ball in the back of the net in a way that benefits your team.

14:58it's still a competitive environment. I've never really understood why it doesn't count. I guess if you're kind of shit and you take a tie to extra time and then penalties, or just penalties in this case, it does kind of massage the amount of goals being scored in. No, but you can't pad your stats by just being in penalty shootouts. They hardly ever happen. Yeah, it's a funny one, that. And also the whole thing of you've not technically lost the game if you lose on penalties. You have. You absolutely have. Yeah, that's not true though, is it? It's technically a penalty competition as well, not a penalty shootout.

15:31Oh, very nice. Lovely stuff. Like the same way that Arsenal Stadium was never technically called Highbury, was it, Jim? No, it wasn't. This was the Arsenal Stadium. As we remember from the Arsenal Stadium mystery, which we watched on Pete's Film Club, and it was impossible to distinguish any of their characters because they all looked like the same bloke. And they all sounded the same. Yeah, bad stuff, that. That's what people... I think if I was in the... When was that released, that movie? On the 1930s or something? If I was around the 1930s, I would have really liked it. but I think now we've moved on.

15:57Moved on, yeah. We're all about the Man United forthcoming. Is it Netflix or is it Amazon? Who's got the... I think it's all nothing, so I believe it'll be Amazon. I wonder which one it'll be. Delicious. Absolutely delicious. Well, Liverpool will be facing Bournemouth in the next round of the Cup. They actually put three past Aston Villa, which is incredible, Bournemouth. Amazing. They're putting three past everyone. They're putting three past everyone. They've now scored three goals in each of their last three games. It's starting to, who knew that playing a game in Europe would really sort of stop the fires?

16:30Usually it just ruins your season. How would you know? Well, well. It's interesting with Bournemouth because people, we were talking about this maybe yesterday or the other day about expected points and all that kind of nerdy stuff that people like now. And Bournemouth's expected points is much harder than they actually picked up. And it looked like what people were trying to say was that they were playing a lot better than their results suggested. And if you look at a couple of games in isolation, they lost home to Liverpool, didn't they, in the league narrowly. And they got blitzed by Chelsea very early on at Stamford Bridge.

16:59Other than that, it's been pretty good. It's genuinely been pretty good. And so I think there was five wins in a row now. And they haven't conceded in those five either. I don't think they conceded a single goal. So, I mean, pretty good stuff. And also, if you're Bournemouth and you're doing your thing in the Europa League now, you'd love to pick up a cup as well, obviously. they're having an amazing kind of time moment in the sun so I also like Marco Roser I quite like the cut of his jib handsome fella tall very confident reassuringly German not perverted German reassuringly German there's two types of German we talk a lot about Daniel Parker well you've got to be handsome not to be perverted well how very rude I think it's an energy thing I think it's an energy thing I think that part of it is because he really looks like my mate's stepdad and he's a really nice fella so that's partly got my own side straight away but I think also So Germans are known for being occasionally quite perverted, as we've all agreed, but also very efficient and very kind of rules-based and reassuring for that reason.

18:03So obviously, if you're worried, like my mate of mine used to live in Munich, and if you forgot what day the bin date was, I mean, everyone would know it off by heart. He's asking me, yeah, yeah, it's this and it's that bin there, and you put that bin there. Everyone knows what they're doing. I think Marco Rosa gives that kind of organisation-efficient energy rather than the kind of I walk around the house with no clothes on energy. That's just an observation I've made. I don't have to agree with it. But I think they're in safe hands is basically what I'm saying. Is he getting into Bergkine, do you think?

18:28Yeah. I don't think that'd be his vibe, actually. I think he's much more of a kind of pounding a big stein and giving you big hugs and talking about football. Marcus would love him. Marcus would love him. He's talked about football all the time. Straightforward, yeah. I was always a lot warmer to Dennis Law because he looked like my auntie.

18:51Chelsea could play Man United at the weekend Man United fans are calling for Michael Carrick to start Kai Rooney after he scored a haul for the under 18s against Burnley they simply won't stop doing this to themselves Jim will they no they won't stop doing it to themselves and you know what I'm going to get on board with it though because Kai Rooney his record is actually pretty amazing he scored 56 goals for the under 12s in 21-22, which is a record for the age group. I'm pleased he gave it a year because it might sound like he might be doing it now. Let's get excited. But yeah, he is one of those players, you know, you hear the rumours locally about a player who's like really, really good.

19:34Joe Cole was out growing up. And they score a ridiculous amount of goals for the age groups. Like aside from his famous surname, Kai Rooney is actually doing that. So while the idea of throwing him in on Sunday is ridiculous, I mean, he is genuinely very highly rated. And a little bit of trivia, which makes it, I think, casts it in a light that makes it sound slightly less ridiculous, is Kai Rooney is older than Max Dalman. Well, there you go. Nice, like that. So he's 17 next week, Kai Rooney. Yeah. His youth career is Manchester United, Manchester City, Bethesda SC, which I believe is a Welsh club, or it could be the creators of Fallout 3.

20:14and then he's now back at Manchester United. He's roaming the wasteland. I could see Wayne Rooney roaming the wasteland. He's basically at large. Again, very fallout. The Rooneys are at large currently. Yeah, exactly. I'm all for it. Luke, I mean, let's start the campaign now. Let's make it happen. Well, do you think that you were alleging that Man Utd are stuck in this kind of endless feedback loop where they can't help but just look to their own legends for offspring, for guidance, for inspiration to help them achieve. And that's the wrong thing to do. If that's what you're saying, I'm fine with that.

20:48I just want to know what you think the right thing to do is. I just think burn him out. Burn him out. Burn him out. Bethesda apparently from Maryland. It was when Wayne went to DC United. Not a Welsh side. Why did you say they're Welsh? Because there's a place in Wales called Bethesda. You thought his 12 year old son was going to go to Wales While he went to America Correct It wasn't when he was 12 actually It might have been when he was 12 Get off the Wikipedia like what I am I'm not on the Wikipedia The producer's putting the running order I know I know Former Liverpool man Kevin Keegan Who has never been to Wales Is to be awarded Huge of truth I know Former Liverpool man Kevin Keegan is to be awarded The Freedom of the City of Newcastle He's going to be the first person to posthumously be awarded the title.

21:38Do you know who else is on that list who have the freedom of the city? There's Eddie Howe in there. Shaka Hislop. Nelson Mandela. Oh, yes. Bob Geldof, also being awarded the freedom of the city in Newcastle. Stevie Wonder. Did I say Stevie Wonder? I can't remember. Greggs. Greggs, though, is one of the corporations. Yeah, people call Greggs. Oh, right. Just Greggs. Just Greggs. the shop can sort of just go to the park or just walk into any building it wants. That's what I understand. I know I'm wrong about this but my idea of the freedom of the city hasn't changed since I was a child which is basically you get a skeleton key and you can just go and do what you like.

22:19You can shoot someone from Maryland with a crossbow. Something like that. Jonathan Edwards was on the list as well. Where did Jonathan Edwards go? The triple jumper. You couldn't like 10 years ago, 15 years ago you couldn't move for fucking Jonathan Edwards he's not even from Newcastle he's got one of the oldest standing records and track world records and track and field as well hasn't he he has yeah it still stands from like the 90s absolutely mad incredible so he had an interesting story because he was a quite committed Christian wasn't he then he he did Songs of Praise he lost his face didn't he and he ended up just cracking on with doing other stuff right did it come back again I don't think so oh right yeah I don't think it did actually Oh, that's why you stopped doing Songs of Praise.

23:02It's difficult to do Songs of Praise if you have renounced your faith, I imagine. Yeah, I mean, it's not great enough, is it? You could treat it as just a gig, couldn't you? But it doesn't seem very fair to yourself or anyone else involved. It's one of the few shows you've actually got to believe in it. Correct, correct. All right, then. Well, coming up after this, we've got a piss update.

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25:57Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Quick update from James on Discord. This is why we love the Discorders. This is why we love the people who get involved in the Patreon. London Victoria is free to piss. Thank you, Peter. Yeah, I heard you chatting about that on Monday. That's been the case for ages. Is that right? I am such a bumpkin these days. All my London experiences are from, like, 2021. It's terrible. Well, you'd be wrong, because actually all the train stations were dropped. Elder fees were dropped in 2019. Yes, I googled that as well, but I was using artistic licence to make it clear that I left London in 2021.

26:28What's a pointless way to use artistic licence? It's 2021, that's when I left London. That's when London got shit. That's when the mayor... No, that's when the reign of terror was over. The reign of terror was over. Because I go to Victoria all the time, and the toilets there are actually very serviceable. There's a lot to credit the toilets in Victoria. I mean, Jim, you would be more of a King's Cross guy, no? Yes, they're also fine. Can we have a toilet at Holloway Road, please? there there's there were no toilets on holloway road station is too small yeah same with angel yeah yeah it's got a lot of so technically free yeah to be fair around the corner from holloway road station there's just a load of um train alcoves alcoves yeah yeah arches oh yeah but they're all full of like artisanal coffee shops and things like that yeah can i can i just ask whether you got them this is not me trying to sound cool this is like a genuine position can i can i just ask whether any of you used to pay when they get to pay anyway or did you just jump over the barrier?

27:26I mean, who's going to stop you? Yeah, I'd pay. I wouldn't. No one's going to stop you. No police officer of any description is ever going to want to get involved in a pay for piss arrest scandal. I don't... I'm not sure I was confident enough to be faulting over things like that. I'm going to fall over. I'm going to fall over on a wet floor. Yeah, exactly. And you know some of the wet is yellow wet. I've had a shower at Victoria Station. Anyone ever, can I raise you a toilet and give you a shower? Very nice. Tell us about that briefly. In the toilets, there used to be, I don't know, they may have moved since 2019, 2021.

28:07There used to be a shower down there that you paid for, for a dirty towel. That's horrible. It's so bleak. Why are so many of your stories so bleak? Victoria Station towel. What have you been doing? Real life, real London. LBC, London's big conversation. Real life, real London, baby. I once slept on the floor of Victoria Station after Portsmouth beat Crystal Palace 3-2 in the league in about 2001. That'll do. That's all right, isn't it? Yeah. I got moved on a couple of times. It's quite demeaning. Trust yourself. Refused to pay. My worst. To finish off the P section, thank you very much to James and Discord.

28:44There is a accessible toilet at Barking Station, but there's no non-accessible toilets at Barking Station, so I bought a radar key off eBay. And I am unrepentant because... That is disgraceful stuff. ...the non-disabled need to piss too. We got a message also from James Fairhead on YouTube during the live ramble that we didn't get to. My local Thai team, says James Fairhead, Lampang FC got shut down overnight as its owners bought another team in the same league. I think they always realised that. Well, they probably did realise that, but imagine just... I mean, it's a team that's been, for the Thai league, it's been there for like 15 years, and I have checked the Wikipedia.

29:25Apparently it's got the second best badge in world football after Ajax, according to 440. I saw that. I looked it up. Have you seen it? It's an amazing badge, yeah. It's a cowboy whipping a horse who's pulling a carriage. Yeah, it should be whipping the horse. The football is way out of... The football is so oversized, isn't it? Have you ever seen a horse play football? They have those big kind of spongy ones that are about the size of a washing machine. I like the idea of like, when you have those award ceremonies for football podcasts, and they play the clips and it's like Football Weekly doing this bit on like, you know, Saudi football and they're totally footballer doing the shit about like, I don't know, deep dive on fucking finances or whatever and it cuts to us and it's Pete going, have you ever seen a horse play football?

30:01Piss up, all right. All right, fine. I had a shower at Victoria Station with a dirty towel. Have you ever seen a horse play football? Let's get to the football, shall we? Yes, I have seen a horse play football. He was in goal for fucking Brentford last night. Well yes in the game of the night the Red and Whites took on the Red and Whites the proud Vermillion and Opaline of Brentford took on the blood and jizz of Sunderland bottom of the table Sunderland knocking Brentford out of the League Cup they made 11 changes from the previous game against Leeds and Elbog had an interesting night looking at me as he said I mean I'm not sure he would describe it as interesting He would stick in the memory he made a great save at the start of the match.

30:45For the first two goals, he's going to have to have done better than that. Yeah. I know that Talby kind of nipped in and scored it. That was fun. I think it's Adrian Clarke, your friend of mine, Adrian Clarke, on the co-coms. And he said that Talby had been a bit naughty there because for those who didn't see the game, because believe it or not, there are some people out there who don't think watching Sunderland-Britford in the League Cup on a Wednesday night is a nice way to spend the time. More fool them. So if you're listening and you didn't see it, Talby nicks in and does the David Nugent on Jermaine Defoe just bangs it in from half a yard out because it's rolling in.

31:18Pretty much on the line. Yeah, quite. And Clarkie was saying he's been a bit naughty there. I actually thought that there was a reasonable chance that Juf might have got there and cleared it. Completely agree. I think he has to put it in. He has to be sure. And to be fair though, the way that he sort of finished it, I was like, can you put it a little bit less sliding it into the corner? It's fucking hit it. Hit it, yeah. But I thought, I mean, Elbow for that goal, it's hard to justify how the striker can get the ball past him from that angle I think so that's the issue and then the second goal he's not great with either and then Brentford kind of staged this almost comeback involving Callum Wilson who I quite simply cannot remember who he plays for these days he just pops up oh fucking hell Callum Wilson's at Brentford I think he's officially just on the bench so he can appear anywhere he's like a magician where you cut someone's head off and it disappears middle name of Eddie.

32:14Middle name Eddie. Not Edward. Eddie. Full Eddie. Fantastic. And Joe Gomez's full name is Joseph Dave Gomez. Dave. Dave. That's so good. That's so good. I mean, these sort of teams, your Sunderlands and your Bournemouth and stuff, they're starting to sort of pick up a little bit of form, look a little bit more tidy. Bournemouth look better than Sunderland, Peter. Let's be fair. I'm just saying those teams that were nailed on for relegation are going to be even more nailed on for relegation, in my opinion. Well, I mean, if you want to move on from that, I mean, I was at the Fulham game last night.

32:47That's pretty thin gruel, that. That is, that is. Why did you do this? That's just lots of random boos at random times. And you don't know the politics. It's like watching, you know, going to WrestleMania, but you've not watched Raw. I don't know why they're beefing. Yeah, it was the storylines here. I just thought that, it's not in the running, I'll do it very quickly. Palace were there to be got at, Fulham were at home. Palace had a terrible time. I imagine Mike loses his job. First half, it was poor stuff. There's just nothing happening. And then they brought on Josh King and Tom Cairney and they kind of forced the issue a bit.

33:24But I mean, Eddie and Ketty are basically separated out of the teams. And Fulham have just gone out of the league cup with a massive whimper against a team who've been diabolical. It's very strange. Oh, the other thing I would say about Fulham, by the way, I don't know if you guys have been there recently, but it's really hard to get in the stadium now. Not really, yeah. To the point, well, last night, the transport in central London if you guys saw it but transport transport in central London was completely fucked like district line was gone picketting line was gone couldn't get to west London ended up having to get an Uber just the only way I could get there and as a result of that and the result of the kind of the just the geographical location of it and the tightness of the roads I promise you now there's probably 3 ,000 people outside the stadium on that one road before about five minutes before kick-off.

34:13I was saying to my mate, I was saying, they're going to have to delay kick-off. There's no way they're going to get these guys in. And they didn't. And then obviously Philham lost anyway. But yeah, it was just a very, a very tepid kind of performance. If you weren't with your mate, would you have line-biked? Like a lot of modern footballers seem to be such a bit. We both line-biked home. And Timothee Chalamet. Yeah, exactly like Timothee Chalamet. In one of the many ways I'm like Timothee Chalamet. Hits of ballet. I would say to you, Peter, that the transport was so bad in central London yesterday that a Lime bike could not be found.

34:47Really? Nope. Wow. Couldn't get him out. The nearest one to me was like a 20-minute walk away and I was in Victoria. We're big cyclists on this podcast these days. Lime lads. We're Lime lads. Not Jim. I'm Boris Boy. I like the non-electric ones because I'm hardcore. Can we get a bike sponsor? Can we get a Brompton? That'd be good. I think that is the way that most podcasts get sponsored. Yeah, can we get any sponsor? Yeah, we're open for sponsorship. 20 years of a show. It's a legacy brand. Loads and loads of listeners. Any chance of a sponsor? Not that one. Manchester City 2. Not that one again.

35:23Not that one again. Manchester City 2. Brighton 2. Manchester City going through 4-3 on penalties last night. Last time these two teams faced each other in the League Cup was 2008 and eight when Brighton were in League One and where Brighton won on penalties. It's good to see. It's good to see. It is. The surgeon Brighton admittedly getting beaten on the night. It was a competitive match. But also, it's a victory for the staggered kick-off times because I was very bored by Liverpool-Chelsea and I could just switch over and watch a penalty shootout. Nice. That was all I needed. It was great. Like that, yeah.

35:59No congestion outside of this ground, you would imagine. Man City probably could have had a penalty early on for a hand in the back. I am enjoying the Carabao for one reason and one reason alone, really. It's just basically a Vala's Premier League, isn't it, really? It's just... The cup competitions in the earlier rounds just kind of like... It just feels like a kind of league versus union slight rule change that I'm kind of enjoying. The... That early decision, the commentary... I didn't see it live because I was at the game. I was at the film game, but on the commentary on the highlights, it was just like...

36:31It was just the commentator was just like, oh, it could have been a push in the back. The referee said no. get on with it I was like what okay refreshing isn't it we have long advocated for the Carabao Cup to essentially be used to experiment with new rules and I think the lack of VAR does feel a little bit like that doesn't it something I think I'd like to see would be a match where every infringement is a yellow card if you're caught offside yellow that's nice slight foul yellow and you don't have a minimum amount of people that can be on the pitch yeah I don't know if it's still the case but in NBA I think if it's five personal fouls you have to leave.

37:05Right. Doesn't matter how severe the fouls are or whatever. It's just five, you're done. I like that it's like you have to leave. It's like you get changed, go home. Yeah, I'm not sure. I wouldn't nail my colours to that mask specific. I'm not sure that you have to definitely go home. The tube goes down and sucks you up. But you can't play anymore. And that's based on the... By the way, can I just also say that my knowledge of that rule is based on a Chicago Bulls three-peat video I had in 1993. so it might have changed a bit since then. Right. I mean, you imagine, they were the first to do that COVID kind of camp, didn't they?

37:42A Disney World, no less. A Disney World. Could you go home then? You couldn't go home. Get yourself on Space Mountain. You've got to sit on Space Mountain for three days. Although, I mean, the opposite is devastating, isn't it? Like, if you've 5 ,000, you've got to leave Disney World. Yeah, that's terrible. Why don't you have been kicked out of Disney World? You can't die there, apparently. Sorry, you can't die there. You can't die there? I don't think doctors give you a definitive bit on sight. That might be a myth, but I don't think they'd like to declare anyone officially dead at Disney World, I don't think.

38:13Right, yeah. I see Bruno typing in the live doc. But why would you? Why would you want to... If you were at any kind of emporium, why would you want to have people's record of dying at your place talked about? Well, I was... Well, do you not think that it's... Yeah, it's not talked about, though, is it? but you die somewhere you should be you should be dead you should be declared it doesn't matter because some some old anti-semi thinks that it's not magical for someone to die there Pete Donaldson Pete Donaldson born Hartlepool 1981 died Disney World no Victoria Station showers 2026 confusingly completely naked apart from a Mickey Mouse head some sort of bacterial infection Legionnaire's disease brackets dirty towel it quite simply got in a cut the five fouls rule is still there apparently five for a 40 minute game six for a 48 minute game so you can really fill that last eight minutes with a couple of fouls did you see Erling Haaland I mean there's nothing we're talking about this game apparently sometimes I just get fed up of it it's all it's like else it's all it's like else yeah Erling Haaland did you see Erling Haaland he wasn't involved but he looked very happy after the game he was dressed as a our woolly the Bruins homeless man he was a bit he was dressed like an adult version here's a deep cut for you Pete because you brought it up and Jim you've got Scottish heritage so you've got no excuse not to know this he was dressed as an adult soapy suitor from Earl Wally exactly the same the coat, the hat, everything look it up later it was exactly how he was dressed he would have fitted in in Jock McDadde's horn for tramps I think he would have fitted in the market in Only Fools and Horses yes I think so stick a pony in your pocket I'll fetch the suitcase from the van is what he was dancing to.

40:03Yeah. David Cartlidge put a picture of, was it Rodney? I can't remember. In the WhatsApp group. I don't think he's familiar with my hatred of Only Fools and Horses. I've got like a suitcase quite literally in my eyesight right now that is full of toys and odds and sods. And there's three figurines that Luke bought me from the Only Fools and Horses kind of like doll collection. and every time I open it makes me feel sad. Makes me feel sad. There was a guy, we used to live in Fire Embrow, Jim, I don't know if you remember because you were only there for a brief time, but there was a kebab shop there and the guy who ran the kebab shop was obsessed with Only Fools and Horses.

40:43He's a Turkish guy who obviously had come to the UK and thought that the apotheosis of British culture was Only Fools and Horses and he used to have all the paraphernalia on the walls and stuff and he used to have a T-shirt that was kind of modelled on like Del Boy's thing with the chain, right? And he always used to say, lovely jubbly. Yeah, I remember lovely jubbly. And if you made a mistake, like you dropped a fork on the floor or something or a drink, he would always go, plonker Rodney, plonker Rodney. Like it was one word, plonker Rodney. Pete showed us that AI episode of Only Fools and Horses recently where it doesn't make any sense and then Prince Andrew delivers a pizza.

41:22Oh yeah, I think that was... That's very weird. we're in safe hands culture aren't we very safe hands here at the end of culture we've completed it great we don't need anything new well done Man City anyway yeah well done Man City they're going to be playing Bradford in the next round League 2 Fleetwood Town we'll bet Evan on your castle in the next round I've got it about that I'd love to have seen Fleetwood Town play Bradford to be fair yeah they want another Premier League team don't they it's not all that finances though is it yeah but do they want us to get as deep as they can now they've knocked out Arsenal I mean they've had that far I suppose yeah they've got every chance of beating them every single Newcastle if they're at home I don't know if they're at home or not but if they are they've got a chance for sure yeah before we go lads did you see Ian Holloway on Piers Morgan Uncensored I know you're a big fan of that TV show always watching Piers Morgan Uncensored he turned up in on like a zoom in his in his house and there was a wonderful collection of strange and wonderful sort of kitsch objects behind he is a character for that kind of stuff he's got a lot of interest it looks like his kitchen though there's like a drying rack and he's got just like a lot of very random stuff it looks like an antique shop someone who'd have gone missing at the start of like a new Indiana Jones movie like a colleague of Indiana Jones who's just like unaccounted for there's some sort of terrible conspiracy happening around him it's just I wonder as a Swindon fan kind of what you think of his media appearances?

42:55Is it probably a little bit like spotting your dad in the audience on question time with his hand up going, oh, God. What's he going to say? I often think like... How dare you? I mean, he's been at Swindon for a wee while now, hasn't he, as well? But I often think that with like Robbie Savage. How's he find the time to do like Saturday night radio? Like, given that he's managing... Oh, he's obviously at Peterborough now, a pretty big club. Like, maybe he stopped doing it. I don't know. I don't really listen to his output. But he was definitely doing radio when he was at Forest Green, for example, or Macclesfield or whatever.

43:29I think there's a type of person where they simply can't have a little sit down. They go mad if they have a little sit down. I love a little sit down. Yeah, I think so. There's so much to be done. There's so much culture to enjoy. That's why Harry Redknapp's always talking about stop the boats now. He's just saying to do it. Has he gone that way? Oh, yeah. Has he gone that way? Has he gone that way? Of course he has. Of course he has. They always do They always do Alright then Can't wait Thank you for listening To the Football Ramble Part of the I laid in a coffin At the weekend Okay Okay come on We're not going We're not stopping yet I was like I was like Fucking hell Can't wait Can't fucking wait lads What were the circumstances?

44:10A farmer just had a load Of Halloween pumpkins He wanted to get rid of So he just Put them out on his farm And he had like A spooky little house That you'd sort of get in And he had a coffin On the floor Sounds to me like good old fashioned British entrepreneurship Peter Why are you so against it? How much do you pay for your pumpkins? Because I just don't think I think it was like 12 quid I think It was a big one though I don't mind saying it was a big one I've got to cut that up tonight haven't I I'm fascinated by how you oscillated from 7 to 12 so quickly there 7 quid 12 quid 7 was medium 7 was the largest 12 was extra large and I tell you what I'm a big strong boy I'll tell you what you had a 3 year old with you so you had no choice but to buy the biggest one that's the basic one exactly that's what will happen to me later alright then Pumpkin fans we'll be back tomorrow alongside Marcus me and Jim and we're going to have the spooky old ramble time thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Aircast Correton Network enjoy your pumpkin picking Lukey Moore thank you very much see you later and I'll see you tomorrow Jim bye

45:17the Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

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