Incredibly dynamic

0:00Hi, I'm Max Rushton, the host of The Guardian Football Weekly, alongside me, Barry Glendening, my co-host. Hey, Barry. Hello. Now, although every American found us during the World Cup, for the two that didn't, what can they expect?

0:11Luke Moore: Found us and fell in love with us, Max. They can expect three episodes each week of occasionally insightful analysis covering the Premier League, Champions League and beyond. Football Weekly is back. Watch on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT's security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency.

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3:18Luke Moore: I want to see the sunshine after the rain, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! We're down to the last four in the Club World Cup and Burnley have signed Carl Walker. It's Monday, 7th of July. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm David Carledge.

3:42Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. Good to have you with us on this rainy Monday in the Kingdom. David Cartlidge is back. Yeah. How about that? As Andy and Jim repent of what they said about the Club World Cup and flee to the US so they can see the last few games, that may or may not be true. David, you're with us. It's a pleasure to have you here. I am, and I won't be going to the Club World Cup. So there we go. I didn't think you'd be a fan of it. David is the Gonzalo Garcia of the Ramble. He's done very well in Football Ramble Castilla. Is that right? And now he's stepping up to the big chair. That's Andy Brassel's chair, that.

4:16Sometimes Jim Campbell's chair. Sometimes Pete Donaldson's chair. Big chair to fill. It's a huge chair. I feel the pressure already.

4:23Luke Moore: Well, David, we're going to start by talking about those Club World Cup quarterfinals. Real Madrid versus Borussia Dortmund. It ended 3-2 to Royal Madrid. They're in the semifinal. And stoppage time was chaos in this game. Madness. Absolute madness. Dortmund could have nicked it. They'd have gone into extra time and man up as well. but Thibaut Courtois saved the day it was all very Dortmund though you know for them to you know not do it in the closing stages for them to go out it's just you know the winners of the you know the hearts and minds sort of trophy you think there's an element of them where it's a bit like everyone loves them and if you want to go on a weekend away and watch a football game in Germany have a few beers go to Dortmund take a quick video of the yellow wall and ultimately they don't win anything is that what you're saying?

5:10yeah it's just a bit cringe really but yeah

5:14Luke Moore: I love it for those who for those who have missed your your output on the football ramble straight back in it you're kind of having a bit of a dig at the hipsters which I enjoy yeah yeah I'm going to get quite miserable in the comments after this straight away which I love but somebody said oh David was really bright and perky I'll be like I'll tell you what really sealed for me the call up into the chair was when you on Twitter called Dave Browsford what was it a little weirdo cycling freak in his capacity at Man United. Talking my language. A little man with a big head and a lycra at dinner.

5:51Luke Moore: Do we need him in football? No, probably not. No, we are. Well, we do need Real Madrid in the Club World Cup because as they said at the start of it, it would be fitting if they were to win this tournament. They said that, didn't they? It was them who said that. They're massively serious about it. I mean, they cleared the money to get Trent in early for this. And Dean Hoyssen as well? Yeah, and Dean Hoyssen You know they want them in and they see the serious and also He got himself sent off didn't he? Thanks Dean I think there's a bit of ego involved as well they've seen PSG get all applauded win the Champions League get all applauded suddenly become the in team and then Florentino Perez is like no we're not having that it's Real Madrid here Yeah well I mean that is I hate to use this word for the Club World Cup but it's a blockbuster semi-final It is You have to say Luke I'm not I'm not against you talking up this competition in that way with a view to get more people to listen to this show and for us to do better.

6:46Luke Moore: But do sign up to DAZN. What? Ah! Don't give him that for free. Don't give him that for free. It exists and everyone knows. DAZN came to meet us and then went and did sign up with the rest of his football. So fuck DAZN. Did they really? We're not giving them any props on here. No. I like the Club World Cup. I've enjoyed the football. I wish the broadcaster was better. Find a hooky feed rather than sign up for them. Yeah, exactly. I feel for the people who will have to end their subscription after this tournament with DAZN as well. because it is ridiculously, notoriously hard to just cancel it and just say, yeah, I don't want this anymore.

7:16Lots of places are like that. You sign up on an app, you pay whatever you pay, and then if you want to cancel it, you've got to go on the website, you've got to sign up again.

7:23Luke Moore: I've got to ring a number. Oh, no. No, I'm not ringing a number. That's too far. Not in 2025. I'm not ringing a number. Surely not. Can I take it back to Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund? I think we have to. Expand on what Dave was saying about Dortmund kind of falling short. I mean, their record against Real Madrid is a pretty poor one, right? They haven't beaten them for a wee while. But the games do always tend to be quite dramatic. And there is a scoreline element which really plays into the kind of Death Star versus the plucky underdogs. And it always seems to do. I mean, I guess the Champions League final is pretty comprehensive 2-0 win for Real Madrid.

7:56But like, they played each other. In the end, yes. But they played each other in this year's Champions League, right? Yep. And Madrid beat them 5-2. It was a mental game. So this was kind of similar in a way of, you know, 3-2. A lot of drama towards the end, as Marcus said. And interestingly enough as well, You've got the aforementioned Gonzalo Garcia, who looks to be kind of getting headlines, and Arda Gula as well. Amongst it, a couple of assists. Some people gave him man of the match as well. So lots to talk about. And I think actually the kind of game perhaps that does further stoke the fire of the Club World Cup because if you want it to stick and you want people to like it, it needs to start to build its own history.

8:37So Al-Hilal beat a Man City. Real Madrid and Bruce Dutton having a ding-dong that kind of stuff is what lends itself so I guess not just because Real Madrid are going deep but FIFA will be pleased to have this kind of game happen are you going to apologise to Gianni? no

8:52Luke Moore: no okay I think he's a bold freak alright I think he's got away lightly actually with that I was running for the things I can say and not get in trouble for indeed yeah he's a prat yeah he's a fucking prat A1 prat yeah he's a prat absolutely yeah Yeah, yeah. Gonzalo Garcia, though, as mentioned there, fourth goal of the tournament. Only played six times before for Real Madrid. Sorry, he'd only played six times for Real Madrid before the Club World Cup. Now the favourite for the golden boot, David. He seems like a handy little player. Yeah, it's interesting. He's been banging them in at youth level for a few years and then when he's got promoted to Castilla.

9:31He scored loads for them last season. Even in the Juvenil R, which is the youth team, the top level youth team, he was banging them there. I think it was like 23 and 25 or 24 and 25. So he's been known about. And also, he's just a striker who doesn't really come through, a type of striker that doesn't come through much in Spain. He's very much a fox in the box type. He's really, really smart in and around the penalty area. Holder play, he's got a bit of that as well, but he's a finisher and he just knows how to feed on scraps. And sometimes a team needs that. And I think Real Madrid are really happy because they had somebody like that in Rosalou, who we of course remember performed heroics.

10:05and Gonzalo Garcia might be able to do it or they might just cash in on him. I love a player that gets his scraps.

10:12Luke Moore: You don't get enough players getting their scraps these days. No, you don't. But it's interesting when you describe him like that. I was thinking to myself, other than the aforementioned Hossoli, when have Real Madrid had a striker like that who's kind of featured quite prominently? Because if you think about it for years, it was Benzema. It's not that tight, really. They've relied on... They brought him Van Nistelrooy as well. Van Nistelrooy was that tight. Not for long, though. but you're going back a few years though yeah Raul was of course a lot more than that but Raul was a totemic forward that he used to rely on who would score goals indeed but even further back than Van der Strasse it's lovely to see yeah I agree and it couldn't happen to a nicer club why can't listen Gonzalo if you're listening why can't you be more like Raul what about what about one of the other chapters called Fran Garcia the left back he's been playing for a little bit now he looks like a little hard man and I quite enjoy that he's cracking He fancies himself as a little Sergio Ramos type.

11:08He does, doesn't he? No, I have a lot of time for him because, again, another one who succeeded in the Youth Academy and then they said, look, we haven't really got space for you. Went out on loan, did brilliantly at Rayo Vallecano, came back. And I think every time he's a player, every time he steps in, he does a good job. And there's always a role for somebody like that at Real Madrid. I think we've seen it, Lucas Fasquez over the years as well, who's just always stepped in at every single position on the pitch. And I think Fran Garcia will be somebody like that as well.

11:32Luke Moore: And in among all these young players, Kylian Mbappe did score a lovely... What do you call it? Put me in the mind of Mark Hughes. It was a Mark Hughes-esque volley. It was a scissor kick. Yeah, okay, we'll go with that. Some people mistakenly reported that as an overhead kick. It wasn't that. We'll go for the scissor. It was a Mark Hughes scissor kick, in my view. Yeah, fine. But obviously after that, Borussia Dortmund then straight from kickoff did almost a bit of that FIFA cheat code thing where they just sort of ran it from kickoff. And then Jurassi was slipped in. obviously you mentioned Dean Halson was given a red card they scored the penalty for those who didn't see it with pretty much the last kick of the game Sabitzer former Man United man has a shot which I mean it's a brilliant save from Courtois he may feel that he might have done a touch better with it you know considering the way the ball set up for him and if they'd have scored that they'd have gone in an extra time a man up but they didn't quite simply have lost on penalties exactly and Real Madrid yeah it saved them winning on penalties Real Madrid will face Paris Saint-Germain in the semi-final.

12:35Luke Moore: Kylian Mbappe will come face to face with his former side. For the first time since his exit last summer, Luke, it's the game that everybody may or may not have wanted. Get your Fluminense shirts out now. Yeah. Because that is the only hope for having an enjoyable winner at this tournament. Luke, you know I don't like to put you on the spot. And I don't like to push you for an answer. I don't like being put on the spot either. No. you often go in on yourself but I am going to do it now I'm going to give you the option of Chelsea Paris Saint-Germain or Real Madrid to win this tournament who are you taking I'd like you to rank them actually while we're here ok I'd probably go Real Madrid first ok because they are genuinely a big club right then probably PSG second because I have to deal with them and they're in France so that's easy a bit more distance and then third my third choice would be Chelsea to win it but the top choice of all the teams left and it would be Fluminense.

13:29100%. Because it would objectively be great that a South American team won it. Very much so. And also I think one of the most appealing parts of this tournament was just seeing a Brazilian team. Yes. Argentinian team against a European team. In a competitive game. Yeah. Absolutely. And that's what made it interesting. And this was the thing everybody figured they were like we really hoped after all this excitement over the Brazilian Argentinian teams that we don't end up with just four European giants in the end. And we almost have. And we almost have. Yeah. Because the Argentinian teams will be super disappointed that they didn't go through to the...

13:58Luke Moore: They are, but this kind of works out probably for the best because the PR around those teams have been good. Because if Boca had a face river, I think the ugly side of that may have... What, in the final? Imagine that. Come on! I tell you what, the US quite literally wouldn't have known... Trust American law enforcement. That's all I'm saying. And I do.

14:19Luke Moore: Take that in the spirit. It was said, please, for crying out loud. Right, let's move on quickly to PSG2. Bayern München 0 again chaotic injury time in this match as well PSG won the game despite finishing with 9 men 2 red cards David surely yeah you can't complain with them no no you can't one of them was a lovely little elbow tap on the face it was just a little tap but it's enough I think it's enough I think he'll feel I don't advocate anyone he'll feel he's been he's 31 miles an hour done in a 30 zone exactly that exactly that but you've been done yeah well actually sorry David but at the Chief Constable discretion depending on what county you're in you can get away a little bit 10 % yeah sometimes speed cameras can't you're speaking to a man who's done more speedy weapons courses than you trust me but I think if you are going to get a rev for that I'm not suggesting you want to break someone's nose or give them a lasting injury but I would have liked to have if I had the time again and it was me I would have liked to do a little bit more force just to make it worth your rev completely agree because it wasn't like you say it's 31 of the 30 stuff that yeah you might as well get there on time yeah It's a read by the current book.

15:25I mean, it's not really a read in my book, but it's a read by the moment. Really? Okay. It's just that book.

15:30Luke Moore: Your prison rules. You're Sunderland coming through there. You're a prison rules kind of guy. David, yours would be a book I'd be very much willing to read, but it is a very controversial book that divides generations and generations. So why is that not a read for you? Because it's not forceful. No. Do you feel it's more accurate? Just use a bit of common sense. It's not dangerous. Yeah. Didn't endanger the life of the player as Neil Warwick said. Yeah, exactly. if the life's not on the line is it really a red? Well, there was a horrendous injury of course in this game. Jamal Musiala picked up a very serious one.

16:01Luke Moore: That was shocking. Yeah, it was. It was horrible to see. It was one of those ones where you see it happen and you think, oh, I don't want to look at that again. Yeah. So, imagine what it was like for him, you know. And you could see the players were shaken up. I mean, Donnarumma as well. It's, you know, it's obviously a complete accident the way he, you know, goes over on Musiala's leg. But, oh, it was horrible, yeah. Manuel Neuer wasn't happy about it he said it was really really reckless yeah because Manuel Neuer up until that point was quite content with his position of having the most pointless leg break in Bayern Munich history when he went skiing without permission so he was like oh that's worse than my one that's annoying I don't know why he's going on Dinaruma there Dinaruma was clearly I have to say I'm not sure that take is particularly what tasteful no not what I was going to say oh go on then carry on well I was going to say I don't understand why Neuer's piling in on Donnarumma, given that Donnarumma clearly didn't intend to hurt him.

16:56I don't think it was particularly reckless. Donnarumma made a decision that the ball was there to be won. You see go-pins do that? Yeah. And what's happened is, in my opinion, there's been a kind of, obviously a terrible outcome that is not really where the blame, there's not really anywhere the blame can be laid, I don't think. And then, because of the society in which we currently live, there has to be blame because otherwise there's a vacuum and people can't talk about it enough. And so Neuer ends up coming up with this stuff.

17:24Luke Moore: So if you're not blaming Donnarumma, who are you blaming then? No, I am blaming Donnarumma, but I'm saying that in foot... Look, maybe people listening don't agree and they think this is a bad take and that's absolutely fine. And you guys weighed in by all means. But ultimately, I think it is a truism about modern society that we have to have some kind of narrative and blame a point. You can't just have an accident. We can't understand things without an explanation. Sometimes these things just happen. You're playing in a sport, which is fast-paced, full of highly tuned athletes who are strong and they impact each other with force pretty regularly and very, very rarely actually an outcome like this happens.

17:59And we need to be able to understand that that's sometimes the cost of doing business.

18:03Luke Moore: Yeah, I mean, it's an absolute... Doesn't make it worse, Eddie, better for Musiala. It's a signal for Musiala, it's a signal for Bayern as well because an injury of this sort of magnitude, if you like, happening in this tournament is going to get the conversation going again in Europe. as if I'm sure it would already be going on about the, well, the point of this tournament, really. I mean, it's such a serious... He's going to be out for at least four months, which I was surprised it was as little as four months, actually. So apparently he avoided the ankle break. So if it was ankle, it would have been double, treble.

18:43It dislocated the ankle, not broken it. Yeah, exactly. So it's the fibula, which is an issue. But it's terrible for Moussiala. It was a big season ahead for him, I think, in that Bayern side. And they're already looking to try and bolster their attack as well. So this is a big blow to them, who still particularly want somebody on the left side. So it's going to be a lot of pressure on Elyse. It might say Elyse's position change for Bayern.

19:05Luke Moore: Yeah. I mean, I don't know if Marcus Rashford was making kissy faces at some of the big clubs in Europe. It would be outrageous for them to maybe have a bit of interest in him. But that's just pure speculation from me. it was Thomas Muller's last game in a Bayern shirt after 17 years at the club I mean might they even think of you know keeping him on it seems unlikely I think it seems unlikely and I think he's going to be off to MLS somewhere like that just stay there not going to get his flight back I'll stay here he likes the hot weather what an amazing player he's been over the years incredible incredible pro really good yeah one of those players where you think what does he do well and he kind of just does everything well yeah brilliant especially he's not exactly the modern player.

19:46Yes. This big Hulk and amazing physical athlete. Not particularly quick. He's not done like that. You know what's interesting about that though? If you cast your mind back to when he kind of drifted into our consciousness as England, you know, British based football fans, it would probably be that game against England in 2010 for Germany where he was, at that point, we were in our position going, he looks like a super modern player. He's able to take up positions, he's able to run, he's able to peer between the lines, run England ragged along with a couple of other players as well. and yet over time he's kind of graduating to a bit of a throwback really.

20:18But you're talking about 15 years ago. I am, but I'm just saying it's quite interesting the journey he's had. Well indeed. If he was in a Bayern team with Mateus and Kahn and you know that ilk he wouldn't look out of place basically. He looks like set for that era and he's always been about intelligence. Yeah, he's also an absolute penis as well. Do you think? Yeah, typical archetypal penis of a footballer. Which I admire it. I admire it.

20:42Luke Moore: Yeah, a proper Bayern club man. Just some odd, very odd humour. He was telling a joke and he's leaving. And I was just like, I have no idea what that means. He's worse at delivering a joke than I am. But he sticks at it. Like me, I guess. I was going to say. You're the Thomas Miller of the show. Either Thomas Miller or I get deterred. Yeah, true. Well, Bayern obviously go out. Shame for them. But PSG march on. And they are the European champions. They want to be world champions. And you wouldn't put it past them, David. Because even when they were down to nine men, Bayern you think to yourself you've got about five minutes here against nine men to grab an equaliser no it was PSG who doubled the lead yeah they're just an excellent team I think they're on a different level to everybody else in Europe and you know discuss this on the continent across the course of the season just saying how special they are right now that Hakimi assist for Dembele yeah he's an unbelievable Maradona stuff absolutely flawless and then the boy Dwey is scoring again as well who I think is just wonderful He's really announced his arrival on the big stage, do they now?

21:45He's special. A little mention, Marcus, from you for beautiful British referee Anthony Taylor officiating this game. Nice to see him.

21:51Luke Moore: Nice to see him. Got amongst the action, didn't he? He did. A couple of reds. There you are, Harry. Do you think he wants to be there as well? The players are clearly like this. Oh, the referees love it, don't they? Do you think? Oh, yeah, if you get a tattoo of him, if he does the final. I think Anthony Taylor just wants to be around a pool with Wayne Lineker and a couple of meddling Premier League players you're not just chilling you talk about a man like Anthony Taylor in the same style as Wayne Lineker that's disrespectful but as you just said there though it would be among other Premier League players and I don't think he wants to see any footballers it would be like a teacher seeing your pupils yeah he'd be like oh they don't want me here I don't want to see them he wants a strawberry margarita in his hand not a red card true but you can get them imagine that would that send the right message if he went to send a player off but instead of doing a red card it was a really deep red strawberry margarita you're off Cheers Yeah And a Capri Sun for the yellow That wouldn't work would it?

22:44Luke Moore: No Or orange Sunny delight Sunny delight Sunny delight for the yellow There we are It all makes sense in the end It does Makes a lot of sense On the other side of the draw Chelsea beat Palmeiras 2-1 Into the last four they go Lovely goal from Cole Palmer Don't leave him unmarked On the edge of the box As soon as I forget who it was Who slipped it through to Palmer I just thought The defenders seem to kind of Or the defending players Just seem to kind of part ways and leave Palma a bit of space and he took his goal beautifully. Although the second Chelsea goal, you have to say that the keeper could have done a bit better there, Luke.

23:17Went down as an own goal. My highlight was that this all came up Chelsea to such an extent that even the guy who scored a fucking brilliant goal for Palmeiras is about to play for Chelsea. Yes. You can have that one.

23:27Luke Moore: Yeah. That's fine. You're absolutely right. It couldn't have worked out. Which boss are you getting back on now? Yeah. Because you're going home. That's right. Do you want to just stick with us? Yeah. Amazing, really. Yeah, wonderful. Incredible the way modern football works. It's quite interesting that Cole Palmer was trying to have a word with him after the game. Apparently Estava doesn't speak a word of English. Well, it makes two of them. Football is a unifying language. Chelsea have signed Jamie Gittins from Dortmund. Decent signing. They do love a wide player. They absolutely adore a wide player.

23:50Is that because Moduweke's off? Moduweke's off. Modric's not coming back. Sancho's not there. Speaking of that, Link, weirdly enough, Chuck Gwemmacher came on for Dortmund, didn't he? That's right. Yeah, from Chelsea as well. Chelsea are involved in every single player trade

24:08Luke Moore: they absolutely love it and Gerard Pedro of course made his debut for Chelsea coming on as we thought he might but Jamie Kittens as I say they love a wide player because the way Maresca plays he loves width and he wants to have options and they have Sancho's left the club and as you say one or two others so I kind of get it in one sense but they are stockpiling wingers now yeah and they played against another one they've got coming in Eshterwal yeah exactly he played more century didn't he yeah he plays more century but he can play out wide he'd be the one out of them all who I'd be most looking forward to as a Chelsea fan I think he's the one exciting something a bit different about him just so there's no confusion David is not a Chelsea fan no I'm not he's not I think he made it pretty clear with the Fluminense chat earlier if he was he quite simply wouldn't be here I'm going to make sure by the end no why would I do that I'm behaving like it's my choice well Chelsea of course will face Fluminense on Tuesday they beat Al Hilal Now, FIFA have cut standard ticket prices for the game at the MetLife Stadium in New Jersey from a modest$473.90 to just$13.40 in the space of 72 hours.

25:19Luke Moore: The dynamic pricing is biting them on the arse. Oh, no, it's certainly dynamic, the pricing. Yeah, did you? When Infantino said, oh, dynamic pricing's amazing, I think he didn't realise it also works the other way. Is it all? Where has he got that from? when has it ever been amazing it's just it's just absolutely ridiculous I mean it's it's stuck around 200-300 dollars I think for the other game 400 PSG so that's gonna it's gonna be very very dynamic pricing there 13 dollars though I'm gonna buy one and not turn it on you can't do you can't do anything in London for 13 dollars I was about to say well blimey O 'Reilly would you still want one for 13 dollars though would you actually go if you were there I knew you were gonna ask me that little souvenir I just if I was in the area and had nothing else on.

26:02I just don't think I would. I just don't care. I would. Yeah, Marcus is a sucker for all football. I mean... Not all of it. It's double that to go to Madame Tussauds. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That's rubbish. Yeah. You know what I mean? You can't do anything in London. But get in touch and tell me what you can do in London that's good for$13, which is what, about tenner?

26:20Luke Moore: You could visit the Kingdom of Sweets. Oh, that's terrible. That's free to... It's a shop that's free to walk into. I think I recount. You could spend... I've misunderstood the question yeah you have a bit yeah it's not what you could buy for$13 it basically cost me around$13.40 if I want to get the train on the street I was going to say you could get on the on the oldest underground train system network in the world yeah what a privilege and do you know what the first station was? yes what is it? well don't you know? I do know yeah oh well then we don't let's find out if David knows do you know what the first London underground station was?

26:54I'm going to try it I don't have a clue Baker Street yeah right and the next one then comes like a year later so I don't know what they were doing. Just a U-turn.

27:01Luke Moore: They were just so pleased with themselves. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a bar. Yeah. So I think we can all agree the ticket pricing has, as promised, been very dynamic. Incredibly dynamic. I love it if Infantino got on the pitch before the final in a Liam Gallagher style. Saying, you enjoyed the foreground, you paid for the tickets, do you? Enjoy the 13 bucks. $13, yeah. Oh, dearie me. Elsewhere in the States, of course, MLS is currently well underway and the Gold Cup reached its climax as well. Mexico beat the US 2-1 in the final. Mexico back-to-back winners now of the Gold Cup. And again, incredible when you watch those games, how well attended it was and the passion around it.

27:43Luke Moore: To be quite frank, rather different to the Club World Cup that's going on. Considerably so. And I think there's an unbelievable passion around the Mexican game as well. And I think Mexican football is in a really, really good position. and I think Americans will be looking on a bit enviously at different things there because Liga MX is a much better standard now. They're attracting stars but they're also producing their young players as well. So they're in a really, really good position and the US are a funny one because they keep getting players in good positions in Europe, decent teams as well, but they don't seem to be progressing when they link up together with the US team.

28:20Luke Moore: During that game, Raul Jimenez scored an equalising goal for Mexico which was obviously Mexico's first and he paid tribute to his former teammate Diogo Jota with the celebration. Actually the tributes around I mean lots of different places here and abroad have been really touching actually. Obviously the funeral people have seen the funeral for Diogo Jota and his brother Andre Silva happened on the weekend in Portugal just such sad scenes. People have been gathering and laying wreaths and flowers at Anfield in honour of Jota's life. It's happened so quickly. And I think that this grief and this sadness that so many people have, understandably it will continue.

29:00Luke Moore: I think when the season starts and he's not there. Yeah, of course. It's going to be even more emotional when those players turn up. And considering if you look at how he's been described as well as being this just really down to earth, fun guy, really great personality. And that is going to be a big miss when those players turn up. Of course. Huge. All the tributes have been about the person he's been, not the player he was. Yeah, exactly. We all understand the player he was, but to hear how much of a good person he was as well makes it even tougher. Definitely. All right, chaps, let's go for a quick break.

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32:42I'm not the manager of Cardiff City, am I?

32:44Luke Moore: Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Thanks to Friend of the Ramble. Marie for sending us that clip. The great Marie. Always lovely to hear from Marie. You can become a Friend of the Ramble too for just five bucks a month. There you go. Yeah. So you could do, so for the same price of ticket for Chelsea, Fluminance in the semi-final of the Club World Cup, you could have roughly two and two-thirds months patron subscription to the Ramble. There you are. I'd much rather have. I know I'm supposed to say that because I'm on here, but I would much rather have. You should. and what can you get for that Marcus?

33:13Luke Moore: Well you'll get every episode of the Ramble on the continent and Upfront completely ad free you'll get access to the Football Ramble Discord where you can chat with us and other Ramble listeners and more. Search patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved the big shout out to Upfront by the way who covered England's opening game at the Euros which of course was a defeat 2-1 to France but they covered it with a lot of balance and nuance I think which I think was very fair and it certainly made me feel a lot better about things So do go and listen. I mean, I did, I said to you before, I had the old, you know, Han Solo bad feeling about this.

33:47Luke Moore: Before the game. Before the game. And when it started, you know, England were obviously on the front foot. They were quite, there was a bit of chaotic energy. It wasn't as, they were good, but I felt it was more chaotic rather than controlling energy. And I think actually. And they didn't make it count. No, they didn't make it count, but they came very close to actually getting out of there with a draw, which would have been daylight robbery. To be honest with you, you know. Because they were second best. losing 2-1 you never know with goal difference and what could come into it next game's massive yeah the next game is absolutely huge I bet you'd be you'd sell your own grandmother to get Wales next but they've got Netherlands so by the time Wales comes along it could be I mean because you'd fancy to beat Wales but it could be that it's not going to matter so they've got to really double down and get on it for the Netherlands game because I thought I saw some parts of the Netherlands game against Wales as well and they kind of went through the gears and I think they'd be dangerous there were a couple of decisions though in that England France That offside decision was insane.

34:40Luke Moore: The offside decision. A head should roll for that. It was totally unacceptable. So they should have had a goal. Yeah. And also, that challenge on Lea Williamson. Yeah. Was that not a red card? I know what you mean, yeah. When it happened, the commentators went, oh, I think they're checking red. I was like, that is a red all day long. Yeah. Well, I think the red card, I agree with you of that assessment, but I think those types of decisions, there is room for referees to interpret things. The whole point of, you know what I'm saying though, offside, that's just a basic mistake. they've looked at the wrong arm.

35:09They've literally looked at the wrong person's arm. I mean, that is piss-pull. And so you cannot expect to keep your job by doing that. They have to take accountability for that.

35:17Luke Moore: It's as bad as that person who put the South Korea flag up when it was North Korea playing in the Olympics. It is as bad as that, Marcus. I think. Very strange reference. Wasn't expecting it, but I think I know what you mean. I just think, you know, the old cliche of goals changing games. England were second best against France overall. They didn't deserve to get anything out of the game. but you never know that Alessio Rizzo disallowed goal was so early you know it was going to happen so it's disappointing but but they've got a chance to put it right against Netherlands hopefully get a different VAR official indeed well you can find up front by scrolling back to yesterday's episode on the Football Ramble feed or search up front to get every single episode you need throughout the Euros now let's move on to Arsenal they confirmed the signing of Real Sociedad midfielder Martin Zubamendi for just north of£55 million plus add-on.

36:08Luke Moore: I mean, they've wanted him for a couple of years, apparently first discussed in January 2023. Some reported that when they were trying to deal with Real Sociedad, they said, well, we'll take Mikel Moreno in the summer of 2024 and then, you know, we'll have him in the summer of 2025. Anyway, all that aside, it's a fabulous signing for Arsenal, David. Outstanding. I only really see a couple of players in his position better than them around the world. I think Arsenal have looked at things and they want their own Rodri everybody wants a Rodri of course and came on for Rodri in that Euros final sorry to remind us all but when they beat England of course yeah and he's very very similar in many many aspects I always said when Rodri first came through that he was the player closest to Busquets that I'd seen and then Zubemendi I'm kind of like he's the closest to Rodri that I've seen so he's ideal I think and really really composed calm individual as well but he's different though because he moves different to those two players doesn't he yeah he moves different people will be confused Maybe football fans like myself, who don't know that much about tactics, will look at him and go, I get that he's playing in that position and I get that you're saying that's the role.

37:11But it's so interesting how it looks to me the way he moves and the way he interprets the role is actually quite different. But you think he can be as effective as that? Absolutely. He's a brain, isn't he? It's that. It's that little anchor just in there linking everything together. And I think Arteta would be hoping by the end of the season, he'd be looking at it and say, all right, this whole team is now built around him. I don't think they just want it around Odegaard. Yes. They want somebody else to, develop player from deep.

37:35Luke Moore: Totally. I mean, if you think about it, if there's a midfield three of Zubemendy, Rice and Odegaard. Now, I know Odegaard dropped off a bit last season, but, you know, we know he's a fine player. I tell you what, that is tasty. On paper, it's very good and I think it might potentially allow Declan Rice to do what we saw in the Champions League games when he was allowed to push forward a little bit more. That's what they've been crying out for. Basically. And I think Odegaard with the break through the summer, a lot of rumours knocking around Arsenal because obviously Jim and producer Rory go to Arsenal all the time I've been I went a few times last season you speak to Arsenal fans a lot of rumours flying around that Odegaard has been carrying an injury for quite a long time and maybe he felt like he couldn't get it sorted because it was key for Arsenal for him to play because he's obviously captain and an important player for them but he definitely dropped off he definitely looked like as Jim has said before reluctant to use his left foot that much and all the rest of it if he can have a summer off Zubamendi comes in and they can keep those three in midfields consistently, it's exciting for them.

38:37It is. I'm not suggesting they're going to do it. The joke would be to say, I wonder who they can finish second to this season. But they'll probably be second. They need quite a bit more for me to make a proper assault of it in the Champions League and the Premier League. They still need a few more signs for me. I'm not fully convinced yet.

38:55Luke Moore: Well, I mean, the reports are there in advance talks to sign Victor Djokovic. Yeah. Which again, he's a proper forward. And if they do get that business, which we expect them to do, then, again, I've talked about it enough times, but I felt that this striker position, the Arsenal of old, you remember the whole defensive midfield saga. Nonsense. It took them years. Everyone was like, why are you not addressing that position? It's so blatantly obvious for everybody. And I wondered if it was going to be like that with the striker. I think that the situation was so stark that you've got a guy who's playing, a midfielder in Marino, who'd never played up front, who's covering for you, starting a Champions League semi-final.

39:33Luke Moore: Did all right as well, by the way. And did all right, exactly. So, obviously, they had to do it. But with old Berta, lovely Berta in there. Yeah. Sometimes we think he's a dream, Marcus. Well, indeed, and I think we are. Yeah. He's all around the place. Galavant all around Europe trying to get deals done. If they can get Jokeres over the line, it's an exciting signing because, you know, it's him, Shesko is the other one who's obviously been very highly rated and linked. and Victor Ossiman who doesn't seem to be that much interested in him a lot of people so these are the strikers really who are at a premium so if they go out and get Jokeres who's a man in demand it's that's impressive it is yeah it's a great signal of intent and it answers a lot of queries about people who's like why didn't you just go and buy a nine like you've touched on and you don't forget this obsession with buying goalkeepers and midfielders and actually get somebody in there and I still think they do and they might do it because they're linked with Nani Madowega obviously I think they need cover in wide areas as well.

40:29Luke Moore: So you don't think, because people question Medewerker and thinking, well, hang on a blean minute here. How many Chelsea players have we seen go to Arsenal and not do that well? You can reel them off. There's so many and it seems like some are sort of saying, I don't get this from Arsenal. I actually take a slightly different view because I think, does he improve that squad? I think he does. I don't think he would necessarily improve them. I think what's a bit of a sickener though is that they were linked with Eze, weren't they? Yeah. And Rodrigo. Quite. I don't want to be too disrespectful to Maduweke because I think his ceiling is probably quite high and I think Chelsea is quite a difficult environment to thrive in for obvious reasons.

41:06But I think if you're coming in there off the back of them being linked with Eze and I forgot about Rodrigo, but Rodrigo as well. But particularly Eze, because Arsenal fans will be very familiar with Eze and how dynamic and exciting he is. It's probably a little bit disappointing. But Maduweke, on his day, he's a serious operator. I think it's a really good signing. Honestly, this is one I'd be really...

41:28Luke Moore: It's interesting because I think from picking up on things, I think people are questioning why surely Arsenal could do a bit better or not. But I would creep more towards what you're saying, David. I think it's... If it's just Maduweke and maybe they don't get one or two others in the attacking positions, I think people might sort of think... I get that. I get it from that angle. But it looks like they're getting Jokeres as well. So that makes sense. So if you get Zubimende, Jokeres and Maduweke, you're saying it's a good summer. that's a very good score that's about an 8.5 out of 10 and keep Nguyenieri as well because people are after Chelsea are after that's going to be key I couldn't believe when I saw that I was like because again if you cast Jemai back just a few years it would be you know what we come to see would be Nguyenieri goes to Chelsea and wins trophies there and Maduweke doesn't really do much at Arsenal but I do think you know what I'm talking about there is perhaps you know it is a few years old and I think you know Arsenal are distinctly better than Chelsea so for Maduweke point of view if indeed he does go to Arsenal he's making a step up I think it's an excellent move for him I think it's an excellent move for Arsenal Chelsea clearly have an abundance of players in the position so I think it works out for everybody to be honest with you Joe Jokeres is great because the thing I like about Jokeres is he looks intense he looks full on and he looks like I always feel like and I think this is something that maybe a lot of Arsenal fans share although I won't profess to speak on behalf of them but I get the impression some of the frustration around the players that Arteta want they tend to be system players and I think Giocarez is going into a situation at Arsenal given what's going on that you guys have talked about they're desperate for a striker so you have a lot of pressure on his shoulders but he seems like the kind of character to be able to handle it and what I also mean by that is he seems like he is lead from the front 100mph all the time really intense and I think that might give all of them a bit of a lift because the only other real player you get like that at Arsenal is Declan Rice really I think this is a better move for them than Benjamin Chesko as well I agree With Cesc, it's going to be a period of adaptation, building them up.

43:26And I think Arsenal are way further along than that. They need somebody who can come in now, get the goals to help them win the title. I really like the Olly Watkins deal when they went for Olly Watkins as well. I thought that makes a lot of sense. It's what they need. They don't need a 20, 21-year-old who needs to develop, who needs to put an arm around. They need somebody who's 27 or whatever who can just come in, banging 20, 25 goals. There's obviously a good feeling with Jogarest that can get that.

43:49Luke Moore: Yeah. Of course, alongside all these stories and whatnot about transfers, a much more significant story broke on Friday. The Crown Prosecution Service announced that former Arsenal midfielder Thomas Partey has been charged with five counts of rape and one count of sexual assault. The incidents have been reported between 2021 and 2022 when Partey was an Arsenal player. It's understood that the club has been aware of the police investigation throughout its duration. His contract expired with Arsenal last Tuesday, but Mikel Arteta said in May that he wanted Partey to stay at the club. A lot of people, a lot of people are angry at the way Arsenal have conducted themselves.

44:27Luke Moore: Rightly so. You know, this looks very, very bad for Arsenal and for Mikel Arteta particularly. he's the totem of the club the spokesperson effectively for the club on all matters involved in football and some beyond the football pitch as well obviously in this position as manager this is a terrible, terrible look for Arsenal of course we have to understand and remember that Thomas Partey has not been found guilty of any crime as we speak here so we have to speak about this in a certain way and be careful what we say but given that Arsenal have been aware of this and Mikel Teta has been aware of this for such a long time yet they've continued to employ Partey despite unquestionably his behaviour clearly bringing the club into disrepute and there's other precedent for this by the way this is not as controversial as it sounds there's been other clubs in England who have taken decisions to relieve certain players of their services because their behaviour has not been up to standard of course there needs to be a code of conduct at top clubs for the way players behave you don't need me to list the details but there's a couple of very high-profile cases where players have no longer been retained by clubs because of the way they've behaved.

45:36Or been suspended, maybe. Or been suspended or whatever, yeah. So the fact that Arteta's delivered some highly, at best, questionable comments about Thomas Partey when everyone has known this has been going on and the evidence is compelling enough for the Crown Prosecution Service to now charge Partey with this, we've seen the outpouring of frustration and disappointment by Arsenal fans, and rightly so. I feel the same as they do. I think the way that Arsenal and Arteta have handled this has been very, very poor. Nowhere near the level it needs to be. And between them, they've brought the club into disrepute.

46:10That's how I feel about it.

46:11Luke Moore: Yeah, I think that's summed up quite nicely, Luke. All right, coming up after this, a surprising transfer in Lancashire. Hi, Pod fans. Max here. Barry's here too. Hello. And now the Premier League is back, Barry, meaning we'll be providing incredibly astute analysis three times a week wherever you get your podcasts. Barry, with the remaining 10 seconds of this advert, can you provide some astute analysis? I think Arsenal are going to win the Premier League. And there you are. For more hot takes like that, watch or listen to Football Weekly wherever you get your podcasts.

47:07With almost half a million customers and over a trillion dollars of secure payments, Bill isn't new to intelligent finance. It's the proven way to simplify bill pay and maximize cash flow. Want to learn more? Visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer. Jim.

47:30Luke Moore: Welcome back, everybody. Yes, Carl Walker has joined Scott Parker's Burnley. They got him from Manchester City for£5 million. Walker, of course, played with Scotty Parker at Spurs for a couple of seasons. Well, Luke Moore, Carl Walker, Burnley bound. I didn't see this come in, as I'm sure none of us did. But what's interesting about this is we've had a lot of discussions about how these promoted teams are going to handle and approach the Premier League next season. And we've got a mailbag episode tomorrow. We're going to talk about Sunderland with David and he gives us a little bit of insight into Sunderland then.

48:08But on the Burnley thing, Burnley have been as tight as a submarine door. You know, that's their thing. They've not considered goals, right? And they've got a back four or back five, I suppose, who are the vanguard of that. and they lost CJ Egan Riley. They have, right? So they've lost him. He's been key for them. And now they're going to bring in Kyle Walker, presumably to play on the right side of a defence, who is known for loving to get forward and massively relying on his recovery pace as a younger man. A few lapses and concentrations. Yeah, but makes mistakes, right? That's basically the typical kind of assessment of Kyle Walker.

48:47Luke Moore: But in his prime, as you say, with that pace. He's not in his prime anymore, though, is he? And that's the point. He's going to be playing in the Premier League. It's not like he's playing for Burnley in the Championship where you go, okay, the experience he's got, the level he's been at, you know, he could handle that. This, to me, is a signing that smacks of, I need someone that the players can look up to. I need someone who's achieved so much in the game. I need someone who can set an example at Premier League level. But we don't know the arrangement. How much is he actually going to be able to play?

49:13And if he does play a lot, what does that mean for Burnley? I think it'll be interesting to see because, look, Burnley play a particular way and the way that they set up that might not expose some of Kyle Walker's deficiencies now, as he has declined. In the Premier League? Yeah, genuinely.

49:29Luke Moore: Do you think they're going to keep this? I mean, I suspect they will, but this ultra-defensive approach. The reason why I say that is because he tried that a bit with Fulham. Now, I know that was a few years ago, and you would think and hope that Parker has evolved a little bit as a coach. But when he did that with Fulham, it was all about keeping it tight at the back and back. And they didn't score many goals. He famously never played Mitrovic. and Fulham ultimately went down. Yeah. You know, they would keep the odd clean sheet here and there. They were difficult to kind of break down but they just never scored.

49:59Luke Moore: They never, and that's my worry for Burnley is that it may, we may see a bit of this that Burnley, yes, they defend admirably and for a side who are a promoted team probably won't concede a lot of goals in the Premier League next season. But I just think where are the goals going to come? You've got to score if you're going to stay in the league. Oh no, 100%. And look, I think they might be losing their goalkeeper as well. so it's a huge part of this they're holding that for a lot of money aren't they yeah yeah exactly so they might lose their goalkeeper as well which piles a bit more pressure on them but I don't know Parker doesn't really strike me as somebody who would I don't know adapt sort of thing and learn from that I can see him saying like this is the way we play we're going to continue this got us to the Premier League why change it now he's almost like the reverse Vinton company in that he tried to be a bit more expansive he'll probably think I'm going to play the same way we'll try and add a bit more quality that would be my concern In steps, Kyle Walker.

50:51But you lose, you say he played the same way, but if the keeper does go, which people expect, and they've lost three, I mean, they're going to play Warfare. They've changed three of the five. Yep. Going into the new season.

51:01Luke Moore: I mean, look, and maybe he won't. Maybe we're doing a bit of service. He kicked off at Bournemouth. You know, as you talked about, he kicked off massively at Bournemouth because he can do what he wanted to do. Yeah. So is this all prime for Gary O 'Neill to come in? Is that what you're saying? Yeah. I mean, what happens with Parker at Bournemouth is really interesting in retrospect because he clearly had a really strong desire to do what he wanted to do and he felt like he wasn't being supported and he had his principles so dear to him that he walked away from a fucking massive opportunity, right?

51:27The Fulham ones, also really interesting.

51:29Luke Moore: I mean, that was earlier on. I do stress. Well, I think it's the same way you could say, I remember, and David is our appointed Northern football correspondent for today. You might better tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure James Trafford struggled badly in the Premier League last time he played. He's a younger player. He got dropped for Muric at one point. Now he's clearly improved. So if he can improve, I'm sure Scott Parker can improve as a manager. So he might be too hard on the guy. And also the other reason you don't want to be too hard on the guy is because it's very difficult to come up with a way that promoted teams can stay in the Premier League.

51:58Luke Moore: Of course, but you can understand the concerns though. I always go back to the top. I interviewed Grownessau years ago and he played at the back for struggling Premier League teams towards the end of his career. And he said, it might have been when he was at St. Hampton, I can't quite remember, but he said the stated aim and ambition for the team by the managerial staff in pre-season was we're going to keep this as tight as possible and we're not going to concede and that's because we can't afford a striker. And he said like two or three months into the season the pressure you were under was unbearable because you knew if you conceded you weren't going to win because you couldn't score.

52:35Absolutely right. And so you've got to be careful about approaching it in that kind of overly negative way anyway.

52:39Luke Moore: Absolutely right, yeah. I mean look it's good to see Walker doing another season in the Premier League. He's been an amazing player. The move was announced, by the way, with an edited version of Lionel Richie's Hello. Yeah, I didn't like it. No, I think it's... I don't think it works. It's getting a bit silly. I do think... I think if you don't get it right, it looks ridiculous. Yeah, Burnley social media team's been very good as well. They have! I think this was a little bit... You're only as good as your last viral video, aren't you, David? Exactly, exactly. As we at the Ramble know, we're far too well.

53:02Luke Moore: Well, indeed we do. Now, perhaps this is an odder transfer that happened at the weekend. Libertine's frontman, Pete Doherty, made a brief cameo for Ishmian League side Margate FC. He did. They signed him. I mean, obviously, the Libertines are the shirt sponsor. Yeah. That's what's going on down there. It was a pre-season friendly. Everybody calmed down. He took the kickoff and then got subbed off a few moments later. I would have loved it. No, to be fair, he did about four or five minutes. Did he? It wasn't a few moments later. He definitely played a bit longer than that. Well, I'd have loved it if he'd done a kepper.

53:32Luke Moore: Oh, yeah. Right, right, Pete. That's it. No, no, no. No, I'm staying on. Yeah. They got beat, so he could have stayed on. They lost 3-2, yeah. Great to see him, though. Yeah, it was good on him, doing his thing. Listen, helping to fund non-league football, fair enough. Yeah, absolutely. They've set up Shopping Market. They've been there for a few years now, the Liberties. Yeah, they have. I did enjoy him. He wasn't even wearing shin pads. No. He had his little hat on. The hat on as well, yeah, exactly. Take the hat off. Yeah. I think that was very much a man who is quite clearly not as fit, shall we say, as the other players involved.

54:08Luke Moore: With the hat on, it's give the ball to feet. Yeah. Just give the ball to me. I'm not competing in the air for anything. I don't think he was very fit in his 20s, was he? I think you can get away with a lot if you've got a bit of ability as a forward in a non-league team. If you stay between the whip for the penalty area, you are going to have to get your fair share of flick-ons, though. You can't have a hat on. Yeah, that's true. You're going to have to fight really hard to win second balls and stuff like that. So it's probably not going to work for him. True enough, true enough. I hope he turns out for the rest of the season.

54:34I suspect he probably won't.

54:35Luke Moore: Yeah, I don't think that's likely. now gentlemen I want to to go to China and talk about something quite incredible that's been going on there Chinese football club Chan Shun Shidu have been fined over£3 ,000 for placing feudal superstitious items in an away team's dressing room yeah the incident took place last month against Shang-Chi Xiongde Ronghai very good thank you yeah the producers put it up all night you was this is the 17th take photos have gone viral online showing yellow paper charms inscribed with messages such as by decree Shang-Shi Chongdei Ronghai must be defeated, a statement from the Chinese Football League said the club had breached Article 115 and 116 of the Federation's Discipline and Ethics Code, I love it, I love that that's written in the code, do we have anything like that in the Premier League?

55:30Luke Moore: I think we might have to and Shang-Shi and Shidu won the game as well. Yeah, they're second in China League 2, as if I need to remind you. Yeah, everyone knows that. And they won 2-0. Yeah. So obviously, I don't know the... I'm not... You're not across this. I'm not inherently sensitive to the customs of Chinese life. So I could be missing something pretty obvious here. I don't think anyone's going to hold that against you. So it's just a piece of paper though, right? Luke, I thought you weren't going to be insensitive. No, I'm just saying. What's special about the paper? It's interesting, isn't it?

56:03the differences the differences in cultures is what I'm saying

56:05Luke Moore: and that's why it's article 115 it's 116 they've obviously got they've obviously I'm surprised it's that low yeah I thought it would be in the top 10 what are the other ones they've obviously what's 170 was it just a post-it note I'm thinking like a yellow piece of paper to us it would be a post-it note right yeah saying oh you're going to get beat today yeah you're shit yeah and that's what and that's it all I'm saying is Barry Fry did a lot worse than that Barry Fry did an awful lot worse than that yeah Barry Fry used to put the heating up in the away dress dressing room in the summer to like the highest it would go.

56:35Luke Moore: All that bit, turn off the heat in winter. Barry Fry's a man after your heart. I was. He did say, didn't he, he said, you know, when he just kind of finished managing him on, he said, when I look back on it, he said, do I think it helped us out? Probably yes a bit. And it's probably no, because it pissed off the team and they thought, right, we're going to have you a lot. Yeah. Give him more motivation. Just mind how you go when you're writing on pieces of paper by decree and then you, you know, list your sentence. If the Federation's Discipline and Ethics Code is there and you contravene it, you bang to rights, you're getting a hefty fine.

57:03Yes.

57:04Luke Moore: Yeah. I think so, yeah. Well, I mean, but I think you could do some sort of reverse by psychology here. By decree, I hope they have a lovely time. Yeah, and just make them feel really comfortable. Exactly. I thought for a minute there, I thought they were in breach. Like when Roy Keane was talking about the players getting the massages and that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. I know you agree with him, David. Yeah, yeah. Right, let's finish the football ramble today with something incredibly important. We've had more listeners getting in touch about famous bottoms they've seen. Yeah. Bum holes or just bums?

57:35Luke Moore: Come on, Luke. It's an important question to ask. Don't use the word hole. It's too... There's no need for that. Okay. Sorry. Who's your favourite band fronted by Courtney Love?

57:47Luke Moore: Well played, sir. Yeah. Right then. This from Rob Shard. I once played a six-a-side game against a team featuring Troy Deeney. Good standard. A powerful one, I'm thinking. our opponents were friends of Deeney and after watching his team struggle to a 4-0 half-time deficit he decided to take matters into his own hands he frantically changed from his joggers into his shorts I love that he's wearing tracksuit bars giving us all a glimpse of his backside and then partook in a second half turnaround a bit of 6-5 and I can confirm he has an excellent arse bracket not hull he just saw the arse any professional athlete of that level he's going to have an excellent arse you'd hope so I mean it's unthinkable but Dini you think it's powerful isn't it and he would use it imagine a defender him kind of giving you the treatment backing into you all that business one of the best arses in football history is Kenny Dalglish's arse he used to use it as an amazing weapon to protect the ball shield the ball imagine John Hartson John Hartson's another good example another good example I always thought Hazard had the best arse Hazard as well Ivanovic and of course John McGinn yeah exactly Some great ones there.

58:58Luke Moore: Chips. Yeah. What about this from Graham Rutter? Further to Jim's story earlier in the week about spying on an adjacent Brian May at a urinal. He's not a footballer. And the suggestion that Brian's hair downstairs may be similar to the hair on his bonce. It is widely known that Brian supports a luxuriant syrup for public appearances. For those who are not from the UK, syrup is slang for wig. Yeah. Syrup and fig, wig. Here we go. In private, he is presumably a notable egg. so if Jim saw Brian in his public persona he may have been sporting a murkin in his netto to mirror his head if he was appearing incognito he'd probably be hairless in the groin region murkin which is a pubic wig I'm sure everybody knows Graham has very kindly ended his email to us by saying anyway great thread for the show the rambler's always at the cutting edge of key topics in the beautiful game welcome and happy to do it Graham a key topic in the beautiful game we're talking about Brian May's pubic hair yeah or lack of it potentially potentially I didn't actually know Brian May wore a wig in public.

59:53Is that true? I didn't know that as well. That can't be true. That's news. I've seen him. I thought he at least had a Turkish job, but no, apparently not. Was that right? You've seen him in real life? Yeah. Jim saw him at Urinal.

1:00:03Luke Moore: Yeah, no, mine was, I think it was years ago. It was, a friend of mine had free tickets to a thing called the Riff-a-thon. And it was at the old Hammersmith Palais. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, I know, Luke. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Riff-a-thon? How are you getting there? Well, I wasn't participating. I've just Googled it. Yeah. On this day in 2005, the second riff-a-thon happened at Hammersmith Palais. Which is now a gym, actually. But Hammersmith Palais, a famous venue. The Clash wrote a song about it, White Man in Hammersmith Palais. Jimmy Page. Jimmy Page. Brian May. Yeah, that's right. Dan Hawkins of the Darkness.

1:00:37Darkness, yeah. And had been asked to judge a number of guitarists as they played their best riffs. Yeah, they were all there. Amazing. Yeah. Amazing. How about that? I never knew that was a thing. What was it like to attend it?

1:00:47Luke Moore: Oh, those who saw it and never speak of it. I was about to say, you just had to be there. Riff-a-thon. What year was it? What, 2005 as you said? No, that was the second one. Oh, that was the second one. You could have been the first one. Yeah, it was before I moved to London, so I think it was probably early noughties, yeah. Were you loving it? Were you air guitar in the aisles? I think... Oh, yeah. Was Cliff Richard there? Yeah. Despite my hope and belief that he may be... You at the riff-a-thon. Who were you with? Who were you with? A couple of mates who got the free tickets. Just a great night out.

1:01:15Luke Moore: What? It wasn't... What was your riff? Do you know what? I think it was an afternoon, actually. Was it? Lovely afternoon, Marcus. Marcus, what did you get up to yesterday? I've just been watching riffs in Hammersmith. I've been in Hammersmith watching riffs. And later, I would have called live in Hammersmith in West London. Yeah, it called you back. The power. The power of the riff. Is that why you decided to live there? Yeah. Just the memories there. I'll tell you what, when I turned up, it became Glammersmith. Fucking riff-a-thon. What's wrong with that? You're jealous, aren't you? You'd have fancied that.

1:01:43Every day's a riff-a-thon for me, baby. You know, James Hitfield's got riff life tattooed in his knuckles. Is he really? Yeah. Oh my goodness. It's acceptable for him to do it though.

1:01:49Luke Moore: I think so. Although he is starting to look a bit like Wayne Lineker, which is disappointing. Very disappointing. But, you know, surgery can change that. I'd love to see him smack seven bails of shit. Aye, come on, there's no need for that. That'd be good. They're both of equivalent age. It'd be a perfectly fair fight. Someone did assault Wayne Lineker recently. You want me? Thanks for listening to the book, Ravel. I'm so glad to be back. I don't think it was James Hepburn either. I'm not advocating it in reality, am I? They're all right. For God's sake, Marcus, get back to your riff-a-thon. We're all back tomorrow.

1:02:19The only way I want to assault someone is with my powerful riffs.

1:02:22Luke Moore: We're all back tomorrow for the Mailbag. Make sure you're subscribed in your podcast app so you never miss an episode. And remember to subscribe to Upfront for all the latest analysis and reaction from the women's Euros. Thank you, Luke Moore. Thanks. Thank you, David Cartlidge. Thank you. And thank you, David May. Wow. David May. David May.

1:02:46The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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