Inside Luke's Pantry

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0:26Jim Campbell: Download it today and find your outside. Could AI help you do more of what you love? Workday is the AI platform for HR and finance that actually knows your business. We help you handle the have-to-dos so you can focus on the can't-wait-to-dos. It's a new Workday. 33 days, 33 episodes, no off switch. From the goals and the glory to the politics and the problems of the World Cup, if you want soccer analysis from a podcast that's been overanalyzing the game for more than 20 years, then this is it. Join me, Max Rushton, and our expert team of soccer journalists every day of the tournament. Can England end 60 years of hurt, or will this be another year of falling just short?

1:06Jim Campbell: Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts, or watch full episodes on YouTube. This is going to be an extremely busy month. I have to watch 104 soccer games, follow the pregame, the postgame, yell useless opinions at the TV. It's a lot. So I knew that when it comes to screening for colon cancer, the choice was clear. The ColerGuard Plus Test. It can be used at home and can only take 15 minutes, so I can do it during halftime and not miss any action. If you are 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with a Cologuard test.

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1:45Smashed up minnows all over the windshield. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It is Thursday the 25th of September. I am Pete Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore.

1:55Jim Campbell: And I am Jim Campbell.

2:09I'm not even going to let you talk, lads, because before we get into today's show, we've got some news to share with you. Thanks for your support, we've been nominated for Best Content Creator at the Football Content Awards. And that is astonishing. Not astonishing, not even surprising. It's just the very definition of some lovely stuff. But we need you guys to help us get over the line. All you need to do is click the link in the description of this episode and vote for us in the best content creator category. The BCC, if you will. We've done it before. We can do it again. Let's get after it.

2:40Click the link. Vote for us. Or vote against us if you don't like it. It's completely up to you. We'll see how the show goes. You came so close to getting that without slagging us off. Damn right. Damn right. Lukey Mo is with me. Jim Campbell is with me, as discussed in the intro. How are you doing, guys? A full compliment of Carabao and European action last night. It was a good evening, wasn't it, Jim?

3:03Jim Campbell: Absolutely stuffed. Absolutely stuffed with fixtures. Pretty much all of them, which went in the way you would have thought. But fun was had along the way anyway. So I think we're going to be all right. I think in many ways there's a lot of sort of slightly misfiring Premier League teams just learning again where the net is and just having a good load of fun with it. And if that isn't the romance of what a competition is all about, then I don't know what is. I know, I know, right? Would you like Port Vale, Huddersfield, Bradford, would you like to be involved in a lovely little tune-up for some Premier League teams who've already stolen all of your lunch over and over again for the last 30 years?

3:4230 years, yeah. I mean, in many ways, we'll comment on the Newcastle-Bradford match, but for me, that was very much the, oh, so that's where Max Power ended up. Darby game, I suppose. Well, we will start with Portville 0-0, Arsenal 2. Ebreu-Chezé scored his first Arsenal goal in a 2-0 win away at Portville. It's slightly heavy weather, but good to see Eze get off the mark, Jim.

4:05Jim Campbell: Yeah, very much so. And it was a very opportunistic finish as well, actually. I think that space opened up by accident, and it was his quick thinking that allowed him to essentially just get a sort of finessed tap in there. And he was lively again. He played centrally. It was a very interesting lineup, actually. The impression was that Gabriel Martinelli was going to start centrally. I think it was actually Mikel Moreno again. And there were times where Ethan Muneri was up front in the second half. It looked like Myles Lewis Skelly was a right back for a little while. There was a lot of kind of weird kind of positional interchange, which was interesting.

4:42Jim Campbell: It still hasn't really clicked in attack this season generally, I would say. Obviously, you know, the Leeds are not in Forest Games aside. And there was more evidence of that, really. Arsenal were very dominant. I think they only had three shots on target in the whole game. And Port Vale, I was very impressed with, actually. They were pretty good in possession when they did have the ball. They're very organised. They essentially created the sense of a break, kind of on the counter-attack. It didn't really quite come to fruition. It was fairly routine, but it was also quite, it was just quite kind of functional and fairly drab, to be honest.

5:22Yeah. I mean, the main thing for me in the opening goal was whether or not Skelly got a touch on that. Because it was a lovely sort of almost dummy, almost pass, and I really wanted him to get the assist.

5:36Jim Campbell: Yeah, I think he might have got a slight touch on it. In the commentary, they said that he'd been given the assist. So I believe that's the case. But it's sort of, it's a funny one, isn't it? Because it looked like he kind of changed his mind halfway through it happening. It looked like it didn't quite actually touch him. And I think that was what perhaps like foxed the Port Vale defence a little bit. So, yeah, but that was fun. Lovely little moment. Apparently, this is a derby between the two clubs, the only two clubs in England who aren't named after a place as well. I didn't realise Port Vale wasn't a place.

6:07Jim Campbell: Because it sounds like a place, doesn't it? But apparently not. Oh, that's very interesting. I'm trying to think of any others, Luke. Can you think of any who were even approaching fantastic names? I'm not that bothered. Now he's being depressing. I want to say that there's absolutely no way that Marzalus Skelly meant to back-slash-not-back-heel that ball to Eze. He was trying to do it back to Martinelli, wasn't he? Yeah, I think it's kind of a pretty regular, kind of intricate move that you see teams you know trying to put off and I think he just he just missed it and it just bamboozles I'm not taking anything away from the goal I mean it's a great finish and stuff but I don't think he meant the boozle was bammed yeah why I don't know why Port Vale are called Port Vale even I'm not really sure but I do know they got promoted last season and so maybe some of the stuff you saw Jim that they were that kind of impressed you was because they you know under Darren Moore they've been pretty good came second last year in League 2 and are now kind of fighting their way trying to survive in League 1 they've bounced back up to League 1 the first time but as you guys have both said what do you want out of this if you're Arsenal well what you want out of it is to not have a Grimsby situation to not have pressure put on you for a completely needless result sticking away from home when you know that everyone's going to turn up there's a lot of fans at Port Vale I think it's like double their average attendance there They were really loud as well.

7:36Yeah, loud crowd. You'd expect that, wouldn't you? And you want to get the job done, and they did that. So, I mean, that's really all you can ask for. Over 80 % possession for Arsenal, which is a very high number. Yeah. Yeah, I think a lot of Premier League sides that have got gigantic squads compared to, obviously, teams like Port Vale, they do use these kind of earlier rounds as kind of rehabilitation kind of opportunities and introducing players you don't normally see. Bukaya Saka, obviously, captained Arsenal on his return to the side. He played 63 minutes and he was kind of back to his...

8:08They were winning at a canter, obviously. It took a long time to get the second goal in there, but I thought Saka looked pretty good, Luke. I think it's just impossible to say, right? I mean, what are you looking for? You summed it up yourself. He's looking for a tune-up, isn't he? He's looking to get some more minutes under his belt in a competitive environment where the other team really want to win and they're playing for their livelihoods and all that kind of cliched stuff. Harder than playing West Ham. you would suggest at this time. Yeah, well, exactly. And I was interested in the introduction of Devante Cole, who started the season pretty quick for Port Vale, but couldn't get on the score sheet.

8:43I think he would have absolutely loved the goal for sure. But it's just business well done by Arsenal. They dodged a banana skin that was very unlikely to manifest itself anyway. And that's that.

8:57Jim Campbell: What you are hoping for in a game like that, I suppose, is a bit more of a kind of silky dominant performance. You know, when you're... A brighter against Barnaby type. Yeah, exactly. When you're playing a team who are so far away from you in terms of league position. But that's not always what you get, is it? Their fitness levels were impressive. They were very well organised. They defended very well in blocks. And, you know, sometimes you've just got to get the job done. Against those sides, for the first 60 minutes, it is night and day. If you watched that same fixture, say, 15 years ago, just the level of fitness is just completely different it is really different now yeah but Kiyosaka was of course replaced by 15 year old Max Dowman before the game Mikel Arteta was asked if Dowman would be involved and he said it depends I might put the handbrake on do not touch 15 year old handbrakes Arteta that's not the done thing it's a safeguarding issue it is clearly a safeguarding issue he absolutely should have his actual handbrake on because he's not old enough to drive either so if he's got a car he can't be driving it Hey, when I was first learning to drive, I spent most of my time with the handbrake on because I didn't really...

10:01That was about three years ago, wasn't it? That's why my car's buggered. I was going to say, the thing with Max Dalman is really interesting because his age is a preposterous age. What makes it even more... Yeah. If you look at some of the quality he shows, he's not making up the numbers, right? No. The reason he's not playing more often is clearly because he hasn't grown into being a man yet and because of these other practical and physical limitations. It's not to do with his ability. At one point, he put an amazing ball around the corner to the Jokeres, who should have done much better. It's an incredible ball.

10:38Yeah, and the vision of that and the quality to be able to execute it. I just thought when I saw it, you know, what is like vision for a forward-minded attacking player? I would say a lot of it probably comes from experience, right? A lot of it comes from seeing these runs being made, it becoming second nature, knowing what a striker's going to do, building up an understanding. You're making that kind of pass at 15 years old. It is remarkable, you know, and Arteta Rizzi happened to do really well to look after him because there's no hurry. There should be absolutely no hurry. And Jim, you made a good point a week or two ago, but I think it was a game that Arsenal were struggling in.

11:18And Fieldy came on. That's right. and it was a ridiculous thing to do. It was a ridiculous time to throw him in. It was like, there's nothing good's going to come at this. You're going to put him under an incredible amount of pressure. You're going to ask him to do something and we know you've got a great squad. We know that you don't have to do that. And fine, there's a kind of little bit of feeling that you perhaps want to give him an understanding of what it feels like to play in a big game. But I don't think you need to do it in that situation yet. And so this kind of game is exactly the kind of time you'd expect him to be picking up minutes.

11:51And again, he looked really good. And the biggest issue is going to be, which probably won't happen, but if it does get to the point where Arsenal start to struggle or they need some inspiration from somewhere, because we can go into a bit of detail if we want, maybe another time about why Man City, for example, is so happy for Arsenal to have the ball. Maybe if Arsenal are doing a bit of inspiration, there's going to be a clamour for him because he's so exciting and because he's so young and so impressive and they're going to have to guard against that. It probably won't come to pass because Arsenal are going to have a good season.

12:22But anyway, that's just a few of my assembled thoughts on the 15-year-old lad.

12:26Jim Campbell: It's another safeguarding issue is what we're saying there. Yeah, I think he was training with the under-21s again recently. So I think there is a sense that he's had a little taste of the biscuit to perhaps see what it's like. And maybe he's been managed slightly more sensibly now. I think he would always have played in this game to some degree, it being a Carabao Cup fixture in the early rounds. But yeah, I wholeheartedly agree. Lovely. Well, Arsenal will be hosting free scoring. Brighton in the fourth round. Elsewhere, Huddersfield Town 0, Man City 2, Manchester City comfortably beating Huddersfield Town 2-0 to progress the fourth round of the Carabao Cup.

13:02I mean, it was the 18th minute forward and then Savino in the 74th. Big gaps between the two goals, just like the Arsenal match has to be said. But James Trafford did keep a clean sheet, Luke. And that's why he went there. That's why he went there. He's so happy with that. To play away against Huddersfield. He's really happy with that. Yeah, I'll come back. Great. What? Three Premier League games, you say? Oh. Oh, really? All right. I can't find it. I suppose there's an international break soon. I guess I'll get a call up for that.

13:30Jim Campbell: I'll be the cupkeeper, though, yeah? Just the Carabao, you're saying? Okay. Give me someone at Carabao. To be fair, though, Jim, what better energy drink can you think of to be inspired by? None, really. I'm not the one on this call to ask. I'm not the energy drink expert here. It's a good point, actually. What is your kind of drink that's going to give you pep in your step? What do you go for? Are you a yerba man? Coffee for me. Right, okay. Interesting. I'm a grown man. I feel like you get every other generation or so, there's health scares and people are like, oh, we didn't know that that product did that.

14:09It could be like asbestos. It's bright green. Or smoking or whatever. I think energy drinks are going to have their day in court at some point. Well, people seem to sort of drink them, like, you know, they'll drink five a day and you're like, that's about 15 coffees. Don't worry about it. Do you see the guy who'd basically made a computer that would help him drink his Monster Original Diet white automatically? He basically had a can in his hand and he had, like, electrical kind of sort of tendrils coming out of his muscles. and a computer would basically just open the can at the top and then contract the muscles.

14:50So it basically slammed the can into his face. Fucking hell. It's just good stuff, man. It's just good stuff.

14:54Jim Campbell: Got anything on that? To me, your arm already does that. Yeah. I mean, there's no need to further automate that. And you should have more energy to do it. If you do, you're not sure energy drink. It's a good point, actually. I'm deeply concerned that what Pete's just described simply didn't happen. I feel like you know when people make an accusation that's actually a confession yeah I think next time on this show he'll be doing that the bruises on my arm where I smash the can into my into my arm we had to delay today's recording because you had the woodworm man turn up the woodworm man turned up we've had woodworm a couple of times I'm just trying to get rid of it because the flaws are important turns out so I'm just trying to get on top of that really On the Man City game, look, if I may wrestle this back, I liked that Emil Heskey's sons both came on.

15:46They're both forwards and they both came on at the same time. That was a great little flex. Could not have been on. Emil Heskey's been on podcasts recently and he's really talking himself up, forgetting that we all used to watch him play. His progeny. His progeny. Maybe he's trying to inspire his kids. I interviewed Emil Heskey once and he was deeply dull, but very nice. Oh, excuse me. That's a weird hunk, wasn't it? Jim's offended by that say what you like about Max Dalman but don't say it about Heskey no exactly can I just talk about the game very briefly I know it's going to get in the way of our chat but if I may there's a couple of things I wanted to say one is that Foden Phil Foden is bubbling up nicely it's almost got to the point where maybe a while ago people might have it's ridiculous to say about such a talented player but people might start but kind of wondering what he's up to and where he's got to.

16:40Just gap year, wasn't it, last year? Yeah, last year was a stop-start season for him. He seems to be building into his season sort of fairly nicely. I thought he was really good in the Champions League. He was good again last night. He's obviously started to appear slightly more regularly in the Premier League. So that was interesting to see him score early on in a way that, I know it's against Huddersfield, they're not a top team, but the thing you look for with Foden is picking the ball up and those half spaces on the half turn and gliding he's a real glider he's quite a camp glider but he's a glider nonetheless and he was doing a lot of that last night and the other thing I wanted to say was that oh Savino's goal was brilliant because it was a great juxtaposition of a truly awful touch and then a sensational which made him do a sensational finish the touch was so poor that he had no choice but to do something really good

17:36Jim Campbell: It's the Brazil button, man. They all got it. It was. Smash the Brazil button. I mean, Huddersfield are, you know, they're a relatively informed side. They're fifth in their league. I thought they looked pretty tidy, but just Man City have just got so many bodies and really, really good bodies to throw at them. One body that also took a gap year last year, Calvin Phillips. He came off the bench. It was his first Manchester City appearance in 645 days. That doesn't tell the whole story because he was elsewhere, but good to see him back and playing a bit of football. I know it was Huddersfield, I know it was the Carabao but I really felt sorry for the way that his career kind of faltered the last couple of years.

18:14Jim Campbell: Yeah, is it good to see him back or is it just a sad kind of reminder that he's actually there and didn't manage to get a move in the summer because I suppose it's possible that he really sort of gets his head down in training and fights for a place and gets back in there but there's Rodri and Nico Gonzalez in there. it's very very unlikely I think that he's going to do anything other than come on to close out games to just waste a bit of time as a sub and I think it's a shame that a player with that much talent didn't manage to find a move in the summer and I think it's a it's a bit of a surprising one really as well probably it's a wager thing Jim yeah I mean the wager is obviously a factor but the problem is though he's gone on loan to West Ham and done nothing yeah he's gone on loan to Ipswich and wasn't great okay look situation is is tricky Ipswich have been relegated I understand that and he has played quite a lot more I think than he played for West Ham but again it's like it's not as though he's done this thing where some players you see do where they go and loan somewhere and look really good somewhere I mean he's kind of been a bit of an also-ran and as you rightly point out he's just not there's just no way he's going to play for Man City so if he wants to hoover up the wages and just do his thing then I guess you know who are we to judge because you know that's his choice it's his life he obviously worked hard enough and played well enough to earn that contract but I mean he's 29 now I don't really know you know what his future looks like because the thing about his contract at City is that I think he's still got another almost three years on it right so he's in a bit of a hinterland that's a lot of money it's a very it's a very wealthy hinterland yeah it is this bomb squad is quite nice actually before the game Pep Guardiola said that Manchester City sometimes have to park the bus because we are shit.

20:04Yeah. That's the interesting thing as well, because if we talk about this in the aftermath of the Man City game, sorry, of the Arsenal game, apologies, where Man City play in a way that I don't know if I've seen a Pep Grado team play before, to that extent, right? It does bring into question maybe some of the stuff I said earlier about Phil Foden. Because is Phil Foden going to flourish in a set-up like that? probably not you know what I mean you're looking at someone who needs the ball who's desperate to pick up the ball in those spaces and drive forward and all that kind of stuff I don't know if that's just a bit of self-deprecation from old Pepe G yeah but it was it was weird for him to say I mean obviously he is quite an eccentric man

20:49Jim Campbell: yeah I thought it was very interesting when Guardiola made those comments because among them he was talking about how people are saying he completely changed the style against Arsenal and he was like oh yeah I completely changed the style in like two days. I must be a really good manager if I'm able to do that. And that sort of sarcasm doesn't work. It's like, you are one of the best managers of all time, Pep. It kind of sounds a bit weird when you say that. You can't do Andrew's material, that's not fair. Yeah, Foden's an interesting one isn't it? Because I wonder if actually for him in particular, the lower expectations on Man City are going to help him thrive a little bit.

21:26Jim Campbell: Because last season was strange for him, wasn't it? It seemed to, I don't know, maybe it's a little bit of fatigue or it's a bit of, you know. He spoke about off-field problems as well. Yeah, perhaps it's a little bit of that. I think, was it Jeremy Dock who recently said that he takes criticism quite personally as well? So perhaps he struggled with that. He's also got so many kids. I know you're supposed to be knackered. I've got one kid and I'm knackered all the time. And he's got to perform a really active, I know he's younger than us, but he's got to perform a really active athletic job. all the time.

21:58And I know he's probably got help, but three kids. He's probably just spending too much time training and he's overtraining and he's hurting himself because he just wants to spend as much time away from the loudest house in the world, I imagine.

22:11Jim Campbell: Maybe. Maybe. Are you projecting there? A little bit, yeah. Just stop having sex, Phil. You had a really emotional plea to us at work the other week where you said you just wanted to be able to go to the toilet on your own once. Yeah, I just wanted to do a poo. I just wanted to do a poo alone It was in the aftermath of you of your daughter throwing her smashed on the floor and cut your foot open while you were trying to take a shit Yeah Well nowhere is safe You're turning blood through the bathroom Oh dear Is that why you used to go to a separate toilet to the rest of us in the last studio? Toilet time is my time Jim and it will be observed I'm crying out loud just saying the disabled toilet was not meant for you that's a good point actually yes City will be travelling to Swansea in the fourth round Swansea what a treat well they did good work against Nottingham Forest obviously and their award is playing an incredibly well-moneyed side in the shape of Manchester City so hopefully there'll be no bus parking in that one Newcastle United 4, Bradford City 1 pretty sort of rudimentary and sort of relatively stylish performance from Newcastle United.

23:23Nice to see them scoring some goals, reminding Joe Lytton and William Ossler where the net was, both scoring twice as Newcastle eased past Bradford City. Boyhood Newcastle fan, Andy Cook scored a consolation goal for Bradford. What a beauty it was as well. It was an absolute peach and you have to be pleased if you're a Newcastle United fan and you think that your career is never going to, you know, get you into the Newcastle side. Scoring a smasher like that at St James' Park, Look, you'd be cock-a-ho, wouldn't you? I mean, if I scored a goal like that at St James' Park, I'd be delighted. I was happy just watching it.

23:56Yeah, I think it is a really nice story. I mean, clearly he's from the area, he's supported the side. He's never been anywhere near playing for them at the stage of his career that he's at now. That's just one for the scrapbook, for sure. And the good thing is that we're mentioning it because otherwise it might have been forgotten about as a consolation. You get a lot of great forgotten goals in this sport and hopefully Andy will remember it for the rest of his life. The other takeaway for me, and it's worth mentioning, I think, because I think it's taken for granted that Newcastle fans are amazing in terms of their support for their team.

24:3151 ,000 fans in the middle of the week at the prices that we have to pay these days to go and watch football for a home game against Bradford in the League Cup is extraordinary for me.

24:42Jim Campbell: Well, they're defending the cup, right? So that's part of it, right? They respect the cup. They don't play children, usually in these sides. And I think the way that Newcastle started this season in the Premier League, certainly, I think this was a real chance to get just a little bit of form in there, just a little bit of confidence in front of goal. And they look pretty tidy against, obviously, a quite patchy Bradford City side. Newcastle will face Tottenham in the fourth round, who won 3-0 against Doncaster Rovers at home. Thomas Frank, you have to say, he's had a bloody good time the first few matches in the dugout at Spurs.

25:23Jim Campbell: He really has. And it's always satisfying to see anyone score an overhead kick, but particularly when that player is very long. I think very long players should be attempting and scoring overhead kicks all the time. And Giappolini has delivered on that. Yeah, he's having a great time. his second goal in a Tottenham shirt and there's just so many players that could have done with a little bit of an arm around the shoulder and a little bit of improvement here and there and Luke, just Thomas Frank just seems to be getting notes out of these players that you thought were, you know, just weren't doing very well last season under Ange.

25:56Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess it depends how you look at it. It's clearly a completely different set up to what came before. I think we are conveniently forgetting the fact that they totally piled in against Bournemouth at home. but then they've been good since then and I guess Bournemouth have shown themselves to be a pretty good team so maybe we can't be too harsh on that given how new he is in the job but yeah, look, they're obviously the kind of shape they're in they need to be going for one of these cups this season because what I feel like is and maybe this will be slightly dealt with by the fact they've got a completely new manager but the idea that because there's been such an outpouring of relief for the motion because they won a trophy for the first time in ages.

26:40You don't want them to relax into that and go, right, well, that monkey's up our back now so now we're fine. What you want is you want them to go, right, how are we going to double down? What are we going to do next? What are we targeting? And Frank has clearly gone there because to be Thomas Frank about it, they are a bigger club than Brentford and he wants to win things and Spurs should want to continue to win things. I thought it was interesting last night. I thought it was interesting seeing Palinja play a bit deeper. Kind of seemed like he was playing it. I didn't watch the whole game I'll be honest, but it seems like he was playing as a centre-back, at least for part of the game.

27:12And I also thought young Wilson Odebeir was good as well. His work for the, I think it was the first goal, was really, really good. And he's someone who's an exciting young player who they brought in because he fits the profile of types of players they always wanted to sign. And he's not really properly got going yet. And so it's interesting to see him do well as well. But yeah, I mean, business as usual for Spurs, really, against Doncaster at home. You expect them to win, and they did do that. I expect him to have a lot of the ball. They did. And that's that.

27:40Jim Campbell: Another goal for Brennan Johnson as well, who is really, really reliable for them, actually. I know there was a time where I think he was a little bit of a lightning rod when things were particularly bad last season. But he finished the season with a really, really good number of goals. And he's been really consistent. And he's a really good sort of rotation option for them as well. There's proper strength and depth there, which they've managed very quickly. I also think Lucas Bergval is very young at the moment. but when he sort of comes of age and he's a bit more experienced and he's a bit older he's perhaps filled out a bit more he's going to be an absolute brute isn't he?

28:12Jim Campbell: He is a tetchy player and that's very fun. Young at the moment sounds like a 60 year old CEO trying to explain why he's sleeping with his secretary. She's young at the moment he's not always going to be though so you can't have a go at me thank you. I was young once so we've got that in common. Yet more protection from the great Donaldson. Exactly. Exactly. Thomas Frank has said that Harry Gane is more than welcome back at Tottenham. He said a lot of fans, including myself, would like him back. I bet you would. It's like Mark Allman's tweet. I bet you would, you dirty bollocks. I bet you'd love to see him striking fear in the arts of Premier League defences.

28:56But he does have a clause in his contract that means he could leave Bayern Munich for£57 million next summer, but only if he announces his cruel intention to leave before the end of the winter transfer window. I could see that happening. I don't know why. I know he says that his family are very happy in Bavaria. His children are learning clearly more German than he is. And he's just, I could see him doing it, Jim.

29:18Jim Campbell: But can that clause possibly be enforceable? You can go to your old club, but you have to pop down to the town square and announce your intentions to betray us. surely that cannot possibly actually be enforceable in a contract you have to go down to the Christmas market glute vine in hand curry verse down your top and announce to the town crier that you won't be leaving Bayern Munich do a little dance a little dance of shame and betrayal that's not even the hard bit you've then got to convince a team to pay 57 million for you at 33 years old Kane's probably got a lot of If you're left in the tank, I suppose.

30:01Jim Campbell: Yeah, I mean, is the clause specific to Spurs, though? I think it might be. We don't know. We don't care. No, yeah, let's just... He could be going anywhere. He could be going to Portsmouth. Who knows? But I just feel that he's proven everything he's going to prove out there. He feels a bit Kevin Keegan. Little adventure. Tell everyone that I'm great. Win the European Football of the Year and then come home. But he hasn't done any of those things, has he? He's not won the European Football of the Year, but he's proven that he can do it elsewhere and do it really well. European football player isn't even an award.

30:33And he's won trophies. If somebody asked me 50 times what the European footballer of the year trophy is, I wouldn't be... You know what my memory's like. I would make something up, I'd get very confused and I wouldn't be able to tell you exactly what it is. Also, presumably the feeling is that he wants to have a good old tilt at the Champions League, win that and then come back and break the Premier League individual scoring record, right? So if that's the case, perhaps it is more likely than Boric. He should have joined Real Madrid.

31:03Jim Campbell: It's probably that he's seen that Daniel Levy's out the door now. He's like, if I come back, we might get the reinforcements I was hoping for the whole time I was there before. He'll probably figure he's got enough left in the tank because he does, to me, look like he's more like, he could very well be a sort of Robert Lewandowski-style striker, you know, who just keeps going, keeps scoring goals and adapts his game if he has to. so possibly that'll be in his thinking but I guess we'll see. We'll find out if he's down at the Christmas market, won't we? He's probably going back and thinking, you know, Levy's gone, that wage structure's just been smashed.

31:36I could absolutely, you know, I could go back and have like a take-home wage without all of those add-ons that is commensurate with my skill base. All right, coming after this, the Battle of the Trees.

31:58Jim Campbell: 33 days, 33 episodes, no off switch. From the goals and the glory to the politics and the problems of the World Cup, if you want soccer analysis from a podcast that's been overanalyzing the game for more than 20 years, then this is it. Join me, Max Rushton, and our expert team of soccer journalists every day of the tournament. Can England end 60 years of hurt? Or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. This is going to be an extremely busy month. I have to watch 104 soccer games, follow the pregame, the postgame, yell useless opinions at the TV.

32:33Jim Campbell: It's a lot. So I knew that when it comes to screening for colon cancer, the choice was clear. The Cologuard Plus Test. It can be used at home and can only take 15 minutes. So I can do it during halftime and not miss any action. If you are 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with the Cologuard Test. You can also request a prescription at Cologuard.com. There's never been a better time to get outside and experience the benefits of nature. Discover nearby trails and explore the outdoors with all trails. Download the free app today and find your outside.

33:16I'm trying not to annoy you this morning. Not off to a good start anyway, Ian. Cut the small talk, mate, and let's get on with it. Jovial, aggressive. Stop trying to be his mate, you fucking loser. Welcome back to the football ramble. How could he have made it any more clear that he doesn't want to be your friend?

33:38Jim Campbell: What is going on? I want mate. I've got friends and family. They are just confused by the word mate. Yeah, they use the word mate too much. Yes, Anthony Scott, a lit equaliser to show the point of the Battle of the Palm Trees versus the Tricky Trees. Real Betters 2, Nottingham Forest 2. Anthony's first goal for Betterson signing for the club permanently this summer. But I thought they looked really good for a long time. And it was a really competitive match away from home. And I was quite impressed by Nottingham Forest here, Luke. Yeah, I thought they looked really good in patches. I thought it was a really good game.

34:09Played at a nice tempo as well. And I'd be super excited if I was a Forest fan about Igor Jesus 2. Because he looked great. His two goals were really great strikers goals. and I think what probably happened was and I think Poster Cogli might have even mentioned this in his post-match interview with the BBC they kind of run out of steam he said that the humidity was a problem it was hot and all the rest of it which you know you could probably maybe even say that's an excuse or whatever but I actually think it probably wasn't an excuse because Forrest gave a really good account themselves and they only got pegged back quite late on they also, I was super impressed with how they reacted to concede him first as well and so we're quick to jump on Postacoglu for I guess all the obvious reasons and I do think as I've said before he invites a lot of this on himself but I think it's important that you're even handed about it when you see stuff that you like and I think for them to go to Betis which is a tough place to go in those conditions when you're inexperienced in European football for a lot of those players was decent enough Elliot Anderson again was really good and did his England credentials no harm whatsoever and just going back to the Eagles Jesus thing it'll be fascinating to see over the course of this weekend coming up who starts for Forrest up front because you know Chris Wood's been there he's been talismanic he's been really important for Forrest as we all know and he's had and he's rewarded he's rewarded that face with scoring goals right he's also scored a couple already this season in the I think it was the opening game against Brentford but he's not done an awful lot since then and he's 33 and he's from New Zealand and Posta Cogli who's Australian, and they are notably very, very disrespectful about their New Zealand cousins.

35:54So, is he Gilgisou's going to come in, given how impressive he's looked, you know, since he's played for Forrest, and obviously he had a, you know, pretty decent World Cup as well. I like him as a player, JJ, I think he looks really good. Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if he starts, actually, this weekend, when Forrest plays Sunderland at home. So, yeah, watch that space. He's such a busy, kind of ruthless, kind of aggressive football. He's that Furuhashi type that obviously Ange has worked with before. And like you say, like Chris Wood is getting on a bit. And I think just by his very kind of, you have to play a certain way when you're playing with Chris Wood, Jim.

36:35Jim Campbell: Yeah. And it'd be interesting to see, as Luke says, if that's something that Ange Postacoglu is going to want to continue with. I think it's worth talking about where Igor Jesus has come from. come from Botafogo they're not you know it's not the price is brilliant but you know they're a huge huge deal Botafogo and he's a striker of a good age if they get him from another European club that's he's probably you know let's say he goes to a Porto or a Monaco first as we've seen players make that route he probably then he certainly looks like he has the talent at least to then go on to be one of those players where their price just rockets up and up and up I think it's a really brilliant bit of business I do as well Look at Jim, look at that game against Swansea.

37:21Okay, they lose the game. But they lose the game by stealing control of it in the second half. Igor Jesus started that again like an absolute train. He looked brilliant. He scored twice in the first half, came off at halftime, and they lose the game. So the two games I think it is for Forrester, he started last night and last week against Swansea. He scored four goals.

37:40Jim Campbell: Yeah. He looks really at it. Demanding inclusion. Yeah, and also, yeah, totally, because especially given the fact that, you know, Provisors haven't really, I don't know if they've, you know, they haven't won for a while, and they haven't won under Postacoglu, as Pete said, so they've got to do something at some point. Since the opening day, it's been pretty thin gruel, so I think Jesus might, if not this weekend, he's going to start soon, pretty sure of that. Postacoglu will be playing his first game at the City Ground against Sunderland on Saturday, and I'm really eager to see what he's going to be doing in the European competitions as well, because I think this is a really, really good opener.

38:16Elsewhere, Marco Anatovic equaliser denies Celtic a brilliant win away to Red Star Belgrade in the Europa League. He scored 16 years after his last UEFA Cup slash Europa League goal, the longest gap between goals in the competition's history. Who even works that out? But I am enjoying it. And, you know, I think we're probably positive on Celtic and a lot of things they do. but they nearly got it here Jim they nearly had it

38:45Jim Campbell: they did and for me it's not just that Arnautovic scored it's that he scored and immediately squared up to a Celtic player with a little forehead kind of wrestle that they do it's like I've missed that turns out I'm surprised to find how much I've missed Mark Arnautovic a true Barclaysman and yeah obviously gutting for Celtic but I suppose it's not the worst result away from home obviously they had a lot of chances in the first half and I think they really should they will be kind of annoyed that they didn't put this away but it's not the worst result Jim just you just put on there and I didn't see this game so I'll defer to you on that for sure because there was just so much football to watch but what I would like to get on the back of that and say is that we're generally supportive of Celtic and all the things they do is a opinion of Pete Donaldson's and not the football rambles why would you even say that?

39:37because I'm on and Marcus isn't and we all know what flag he flies. Elsewhere in Europe... We're generally supporting Celtic and all the things they do. You can host the show! I don't want to. I'll talk about your pantry. Before the start of the show, Luke, there's a door behind Luke's back door and producer Tom asked him to close his pantry door. Where do you think Luke lives? Jim Ratcliffe was in attendance to watch Neeslu's 2-1 at home to Roma. It's thrilling. It's exciting. It's Jim Ratcliffe time, Jim.

40:13Jim Campbell: Yeah, you forget he's got another club who can, like, you know, ruin his day. But he's brought this on himself, hasn't he? He's very much brought this on himself. I love the Instagram post about this because The Athletic posted that, you know, Gianluca mentioned he has doubled Roma's lead against Nice. And so Jim Ratcliffe looks on. The first comment is, just some random bloke called King Gak, right? just says Sir Jim can't catch a break Neeson Man United are giving him sleepless nights it's like Jim you're a billionaire like why are you putting yourself through this King Gak is gutted for you King Gak's writing like he's like a newspaper sub-editor or something like why is he writing like that doing a minute by minute on to Jim Ratcliffe's day another bro on there just looks like a teenage Instagram user this bro's always taking L's Bro Jim Bro Jim What a level up from the billion hair businessman It's good stuff I tell you what if he fancies relaxing he could go down to what is no doubt a well stocked wine cellar and pick himself up a bottle of wine Cole Palmer has withdrawn his plans to sell wine under the Cole Palmer name after backing down from a dispute with a French vineyard Chateau Palme and it's now amended its intellectual property office documents uh this palmer's people uh to head off any conflict so no wine from the house the chateau of call palmer uh you simply must focus on the chateau palmer yeah i find this a curious thing because who's buying his wine who's buying it's like it's like buying weapons off a toddler they don't know if you if you really love cole palmer i'm tempted to say you're unlikely to really love wine but if you do love cole palmer and you do love wine there's of course absolutely in no way you're going to buy wine off Karl Palmer.

42:06Yeah. Because you know what the two very different universes these things occupy. Maybe he's like a mercurial talent at winemaking. Maybe he's just got that kind of, you know, idiot's palate and just does the right thing. Idiot's palate.

42:20Jim Campbell: He has actually made it clear among all this that he doesn't really drink wine. It's not surprising because he's a professional athlete. I'm also baffled by the combination of it. It feels like something someone else has pitched to him and he's just gone, yeah, all right, I suppose wine can be cold as well, can't it? I'm thinking, though, if Cole Palmer was to release an Alka-Pop, that would fly off the shelf. Get yourself an Alka-Pop farm or whatever they do. This story is best summed up by The Sun, who've reported this, with their final line in the story itself, which simply says, Cole Palmer is not known to be a wine connoisseur.

42:56I mean, they just put that at the end of the story, like absolutely mugging him off. It would be like those, is it 18 crimes, that kind of red wine, Just have Corp Almond at the front. The only crime in here is the drink. 13 crimes, yeah. The only crime is this fucking wine. All right, well, coming after this, Infantino Horses Mates at Trump Tower.

43:33Jim Campbell: Can England end 60 years of hurt? Or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. This is going to be an extremely busy month. I have to watch 104 soccer games, follow the pregame, the postgame, yell useless opinions at the TV. It's a lot. So I knew that when it comes to screening for colon cancer, the choice was clear. The Coligard Plus Test. It can be used at home and can only take 15 minutes. So I can do it during halftime. And not miss any action. If you are 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with a Cologuard test.

44:10Jim Campbell: You can also request a prescription at Cologuard.com.

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45:08Jim Campbell: Download the free app today and make the most of your summer with AllTrails.

45:20Welcome back to the Football Ramble Trump Tower. It's a place where business gets done. You've got your Mar-a-Lago. You've got your Oval Office. But Infantino has been at Trump Tower on Tuesday. FIFA met to discuss the proposal to expand the men's World Cup to 64 teams in 2030. No doubt they probably had to drop off a fair collection of, you know, trinkets and golden baubles for the President of the United States to sort of, you know, paddle around. But, Luke, it just makes you excited to be alive as a football fan, doesn't it? Yeah. I mean, I've got several thoughts on this. one of which instantly is that it's really curious to me how Gianni Infantino spends quite a large part of his public speaking role or ambassadorial role talking about how much he doesn't want politics involved in sport and it's probably fair to say he's absolved himself of quite a lot of the responsibility when it comes to the political element of the sport but he's perfectly happy to continually meet in Trump Tower and spend all this time in the Oval Office

46:22Jim Campbell: Well they've got an office there haven't they? Exactly, it's an absolute disgrace It is an unmitigated disgrace. And the other thing I would just say is that, without being too earnest about it for too long, is that this really is the effect of... Because FIFA are discussing a proposal, as you said, to expand the Men's World Cup to 64 teams, right? It's fucking ridiculous. It's completely stupid. It's a total non-starter for so many reasons. But because of the fact that Donald Trump is so publicly able to be in a position of power and that power to be unchecked in a king-like way, this, of course, indoctrinates all the other kind of horrendously problematic individuals who are in also positions of power to do the same thing.

47:09So now, Infantino, it's no coincidence he's got an office in Trump Tower. It's no coincidence he wants to just go and do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, because he sees this influence of the President of the United States behaving like a king and thinking, well, I can just do the same. Like it's just preposterous and it really is sadly another example of direction our world is going in at the moment. And it's, you know, it's just awful, I suppose.

47:33Jim Campbell: Yeah. What I find interesting about Gianni Infantino is that he's making noises that suggest he's in favour of this idea based on the proposal put forward by the kind of South American contingent. And every one of his pronouncements make it sound like he thinks the only thing that anyone on the planet cares about is the World Cup. He presents any idea or any suggestion of change to the World Cup as if it's this real boon for humanity, which is really, really misguided. And what I find really sad about this proposal, right, is obviously a 64-team World Cup is gigantic and it's silly. The idea has been put forward because it will be a centenary.

48:15Jim Campbell: And that is a really big thing in South America as well. It's something we don't really celebrate in the same way in Europe. but you have to sort of understand the kind of cultural significance of that in South America, particularly given that the first World Cup was in Uruguay, right? And the sad thing is, is that I can certainly see a world where I would look at that and think, you know what, that's really exciting. But because FIFA have already expanded the next World Cup to 48 teams, which we assume will be permanent, because they've put the Club World Cup in place and not being satisfied with it being there at all, they're talking about expanding it, they're talking about making it every two years.

48:48Jim Campbell: I simply don't trust them enough to think that if they were to put in a 64-team World Cup in place and it were to be deemed a success by them, that they wouldn't then just make every World Cup like that. Because there is this idea that growth for growth's sake is universally positive and just more is better. Let's just have more, more, more, more, more, constantly more. And that's what everybody wants. Isn't this brilliant? Aren't we doing a great job? And it's a shame because the idea of a sort of gigantic World Cup, if you could guarantee it was a one-off, might actually be really interesting and it might actually be really exciting.

49:24Jim Campbell: But we don't live in a world where you can entertain it as that sort of idea. Add a bit of context, of course, is that they want to do something special for the 100th anniversary, the centenary, right? And, you know, that's fine. I kind of understand that. Give us a big mascot that's more interesting than the last mascots. There we go. That's a nice place to start, Pete. And as Infantino himself has said, every idea is a good idea. Mr. Blobby. But what's important to reiterate, I think, is that they're not approaching it as saying, they're saying that, oh, it's the centenary, so we have to do something really special.

49:59What they actually mean is we can make more money doing this, and the centenary is basically a fig leaf. Because it is worth remembering that the 48-team World Cup is going to involve 104 games in five weeks, right? And the group stage is obviously heavily loaded. So there are going to be a preposterous amount of games in the opening weeks of the World Cup next year. I don't think people are ready for just the sheer amount of games there are going to be. And that's before you talk about expanding it again by another 30 % or whatever it is. And that's us talking. World Cups are quite good for us.

50:33It's good for Ramble business. Yeah, it is. And we're saying that. And we're saying it's a bad idea. We'll be playing them here at this rate. That lad who tried to become a US bloc who tried to go from 34-year-old, never played soccer before, to playing in a World Cup. He'll probably get his spot.

50:54Jim Campbell: It's almost like they're going to turn the World Cup into the Nations League by accident if they carry on with this. Marcus's dream. That's Marcus Spell's music. Yeah, exactly. Well, Gianni Infantino said every idea is a good idea, as you said, Luke. What in the Stephen fucking Bartlett is that? Every idea is a good idea. Oh, he'll be on Dora, the CEO, before long, for sure. There's no doubt about that. That would be a bit of a... I think it's more of a high-performance position for me. I think that would probably be something that Jake would... Either way, the outcome for me will be the same.

51:28I simply won't listen. Won't listen, no. Aston Villa, they're still searching for their first win of the season. Maybe they'll get it tonight at 8pm when they play Bologna. Ah, Esri Concet has said Unai Emery was right to label his players lazy after their one-all draw with Sunderland. There you go, Sunderland, as you mentioned. We were lazy sometimes in defence when we conceded. We were lazy. Lazy, lazy, Aston Villa. Less lazy, more crazy in the Europa League. On the Sunderland criticism, because that's pixelated to some people saying that we don't mention Sunderland enough and they were upset about it.

52:00I would say you have to look at my output in the round. My column, Any Winners, which comes out every Thursday, at anywinners.substack.com has been very positive consistently about Sunderland to the point where I've backed them in the betting part of the column to win on the Open there against West Ham, which they did, and I've backed them again after that. You cannot accuse me of being anti-Sunderland. I am not anti-Sunderland. I am very, very anti-Jordan Henderson at Brentford, but I'm not anti-Sunderland. I think Aston Villa had a really tricky start. I wonder whether, as I said before, we're coming to the end of the line with Emory.

52:38You guys had some interesting things to say on the mailbag this week, which is worth a listen if people haven't tuned in yet. A few things have happened behind the scenes to change the hierarchy slightly, which may help. They've got to get up and running sooner or later. Bologna have had a very inconsistent start to the season themselves. I think if it's time to get behind the team and get them cooking, it's probably going to be tonight against this Bologna side. at the moment they look quite bereft of ideas and I think quite bereft of chances and tonight and the weekend is key for them because they're at home to Fulham at the weekend as well who are beatable for sure so it'll be an interesting game to watch Yeah, I think this

53:23Jim Campbell: as we sort of touched on in the mailbag this competition is a real opportunity to have a little bit of a break from the doldrums and sort of inject some urgency into the season I also think Bologna are a team of a decent enough profile and size who are very beatable for them at Villa Park. This provides that opportunity. And Conce's comments are interesting because he stands out as someone who's a leader in that team. And they have to take their medicine, right? It's interesting that Emery has chosen this approach because it's just really not been good enough across the board from them. And it's a surprising one.

53:57Jim Campbell: It doesn't feel like it can last, can it? but at the same time they do look so flat that they feel like they are a potentially really interesting side story of this season. And I'll tell you another team that'll have to get cracking. Rangers, a team that we are broadly in favour of everything they do. Russell Martin reportedly has four games left. BBC work, that. That's good. Russell Martin reportedly has four games. Good guys on both sides. Russell Martin reportedly has four games left to prove himself to the Rangers hierarchy. Apparently Rangers will attack the Europa League. I mean, And Russell Martin, it's just, it's all, my childminder that looks after my daughter, her partner is about as ranged as it's possible to be.

54:41And I have started trying to avoid him because... Even though you're in favour broadly of everything he does? Even though I'm in favour broadly of everything they do. I've started avoiding him because it's just getting worse and worse and worse for that football team. And Russell Martin seems really bad at this, Luke. You're not a fan, I know that for a fact. I mean, it's not been great, has it? I mean, the story you're referring to there is from Football Insider, who says that, who've got a source at the club who says that Gank, Sternkreutz, Livingston, Falkirk are the big four games next for whether Russell Martin stays in his job or not.

55:16I would tentatively suggest that if you can't deliver an array of positive results from that lot, you probably don't deserve to be Rangers manager. but then nothing I've seen so far says that he deserves to be Rangers manager anyway so I mean he's also become really testy and it's great I saw a brilliant answer to a question he gave last week where because obviously he took the players to Loch Lomond right for a bit of team building and I don't actually think anything wrong with that footballers are footballers right we can all be we can all be you know snobby about it and you know in our London metropolitan media elite kind of way in our pantry yeah I mean I stood in my pantry and I laughed at that story but I mean there's nothing wrong with yeah I like a bit of cold water swimming a bit of kind of you know doing your thing you know fine and he got really you could tell he was really like actually quite upset that it got bad um bad press and um he was asked a question about a game and he responded with oh well you know we've been to Locked Loman for a swim now haven't we so everything will be fine kind of thing and kind of rolled his eyes and I just thought okay I get that I get that you're under pressure I get that you found the last year and a half or so of your management career really, really tough.

56:27And, you know, sympathy should be there for that. But, I mean, ultimately, you're at Rangers. You know the standards. You know what's expected of you. You've got to do what you've got to do. You've not done it. So you're paid pretty handsomely. If the time has come to turn it around, then the time has come. I've chatted to some Rangers fans. I was at a wedding a few weeks ago, and there's three or four Rangers fans there, a couple of which were on my table. And they were raging, absolutely raging. You know, like, he shouldn't even be in the job. He needs to win tomorrow. Well, that's it. And at that point, he didn't win that next game.

56:57So, you know, he's up against it, as he should be.

57:00Jim Campbell: I would suggest that if you've got four games to save your job, when so far you've only managed 12 games, the writing probably is on the wall. Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. God save the king. On the Scottish football thing, by the way, I also read from Football Insider that Celtic are obviously trying to get Raheem Sterling, right? Yes. Trying to get him on loan and all the rest of it. But apparently, it's just a reminder. I don't know why I'm sharing it. I just found it interesting. Raheem Sterling, who is, as you said earlier, Pete, as you referenced earlier, bomb squad, right?

57:39Been to Arsenal, done nothing. He's not going to get anywhere near the team at Chelsea by looking at the moment, not even training with the first team. 300 grand a week.

57:48Jim Campbell: Celtic can't get him because his wages are so high. His remaining contract is worth about 30 million quid. Bloody hell. You wouldn't walk, you just quite simply wouldn't walk away from that kind of cash. And why should he? Get it long, long for crying out loud. All right then, thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. All three of us will be back, keys in hand with Marcus tomorrow, for the preview show. Say goodbye, Luke. Goodbye, Luke. Say fare thee well, Jim. Fare thee well, Jim. We're off for a little bit of cheese in Luke's pantry. Ta-ta.

58:25The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

58:50Jim Campbell: expert team of soccer journalists every day of the tournament. Can England end 60 years of hurt, or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily, listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube.

59:21Jim Campbell: So I can do it during halftime and not miss any action. If you are 45 or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with a Cologuard test. You can also request a prescription at Cologuard.com.