Jack's Encyclopaedia: Champions League advancers, Thomas Frank favourites, and the most offsides

0:29Checking it through to the tiebreaker. Oh Ipswich I had them down and I thought they were just above it. Surely at some point Norwich City had a shot Swindon Ha ha ha ha ha it's going to a third round of tiebreak Huddersfield Town

0:54Yes, come on, come on Coventry Yes! Get in there! It was Gallon! Dean Smith also says we're an encyclopedia of football. A what? An encyclopedia of football. I don't know what that means. Hello everybody welcome to the Football Ramble it's Jack's Encyclopedia I'm Marcus Speller I'm Luke Moore I'm Pete Donaldson and I'm the Dushanantaraja

1:38Oh, it's me, is it? Oh, I thought we had to do a little bit of a merch plug. Is that what we're doing now? 20 years of broadcastery, it's man and boy. Yeah. Do the merch plug yourself. You could bring a certain verve to it, I think. We all like clothes, don't we? Yeah, if you watch on YouTube, you can see us all, well, some of us wearing rocking, one would suggest. Two of us. The delicious ramble drip that we've given you in 2026. For crying out loud, buy some claws because... You're naked. Because you're naked and disgusting and what you're wearing is foul. Welcome back to another edition of Jackson Cyclopedia.

2:11Are you AI today? Vish is on a roll. He's already taken the My Biddy Aunt belt from Luke. Here he comes. And now the Jackson Cyclopedia belt, coming soon. Here comes a general. Is up for grabs. If you don't know the rules, they're really simple. To give you categories, I'll give you a category. and then we'll go around each of you to see if you can give me a valid answer. If you go too slow, I will press a countdown timer which will only leave you five seconds to answer. It's exciting. It is. Are you ready, gentlemen? Not really. No? Nah. This is the death now. I'm circling the drain now. Vish is here.

2:44He's back. The pride of Ealing. You were called a paper tiger, I think, on YouTube. Paper tiger? Or paper dragon or something. Paper tiger has been summed me up definitely in my whole broadcasting career. Not just this game. 3D printed tiger. Pretty pretty tiger. Like the belt in many ways. Yes, are you ready to sort of go? Are you ready to sort of go? Are you ready to sort of go? Yeah. It's like Michael Barrymore. I was thrown by the fact that I did a merch pull at the start of the show that wasn't actually in the script. I just decided to freestyle one. He did really well, though. Yeah. He did a bit AI sloppy, but it was all right.

3:19Everything about me is AI sloppy. Who's going first? What's your avant-garde approach to who's going first this week? It's always to my left. Oh, Vish. It's always nice and easy. Do you need a rather complicated game to get more complicated in my mind? No. Producer Finn and Producer George, all that needs to happen for evil to flourish is for good men to stand by and do nothing. Yeah, which they don't again. Because I wasn't a member of the Luke Nation. I said nothing. Yeah. They didn't come for me. I thought you were going to do, I'm going to start like a celebrity, you know, kickoff. Oh, nice.

3:50You do the first time. The first pitch. The first pitch is a baseball game. Right. Come on. Are you the traitor? I'm very confused. I've never really got into that. You what? No, me neither. Watch the final. Didn't really know what was going on. I like that man wearing the jumpsuit. Watch the final. Let's start at the final. It's not Wimbledon, mate. Right. Every team to progress from the league phase of this season's Champions League. Every team to progress from the league phase of this season's Champions League. Champions League. Arsenal. Yeah, why not? Arsenal. Yeah. Hang on. There you go. Lovely.

4:25Liverpool. Liverpool. Spurs. Spurs. Man City. And I will go for Newcastle United. I'll have Chelsea. Bayern Munich. Nice. Real Madrid. I'm trying to think of who's everybody said. That's the problem. It's coming around. Yeah. Benfica Very nice Barcelona Very nice Bayer Leverkusen Correct Bruce Adortment Don't do that Marcus hates the delay bar Paris Saint-Germain They did Slugs Bodo Glimp Nice Inter Monaco Oh nicely done One of the potentials For Newcastle Dear oh dear Now I'm struggling

5:37Shulson fucking respect Shulson fucking respect It's after It's after It's probably wrong anyway It was wrong I'm out Right Marcus Let's go Madrid Oh yeah Correct Correct. I'm just worried that someone said it. That's my worry now. Club Brugge. Nicely done. Club Brugge did. Carabao. Very good lads. Oh, that's nice. It's one of the few games where the sheer rounds of the sheer overwhelming amount of teams makes it tricky. Get that button. I had the button pressed by now for me. You made this noise.

6:15I've completely gone I think. You know, he's a specialist in failure. Forgot a team who qualified in the top eight Sporting Ah lovely I don't mind that I like he pre-explained it as well It was proper showbought in that Do you want to know why I don't mind it? Not a threat There you go That's fine You know You want clowns We'll give them clowns You did well We missed a few You missed three To wash the blood You only missed three Atalanta Juve yeah I had Juve and Olympiacos Olympiacos yeah oh and Galatasaray oh Gala it's four it's four I almost said Juve but for some reason I've stopped myself are they a Europa League side at the moment I've not really heard much from them recently well done Marcus you better pick up your trousers Lukey Moore no it's a big error from Vish from going first and not winning the point is actually a pretty good metric there's the mind game there's the mind game is it in true Marino style can I defend this 1-0 lead is that how the game works yeah You can refuse to answer.

7:19Say it out. Stodge it up. All right, Lukey. Name the starting 11. I know you like these. I know you like these. I know you like these. Name the starting 11 of both teams from Real Madrid's 3-2 win against Manchester City in their Champions League group game in the 2012-20 season. Is this the Mourinho-Nieselie game? It is indeed the Nieselie game. When Real scored their winner, Jose Mourinho did that. So starting line-up. Starting 11 from both teams, Real Madrid, Manchester City, 2012-2013. It's a crapshoot. It's an absolute crapshoot. Enjoy it. There's pitfalls everywhere. What year? 2012-2013.

7:53What year? You're struggling. He did tell you. I'll go for Ika Casillas. It's got to be, isn't it? Yeah. Joe Hart. I've given you one there, haven't I? I did have Hart down. I did remember that one. Vinton Company. This is a gamble. I'm going to go for Carlos Tevez. Well done, Luke. We're doing both teams, yeah? Yeah. Of course we are. Sergio Ramos. Oh, hello. Hello. Hello. Is that the first booby trap, is it? Goodbye. You always seem to get done on those. I do. You seem to be able to sniff them out. There was a Chelsea one. It was like the one game Terry missed in about five years. That's surprising, that.

8:38I would have gone for that. Someone's got to jump on a grade at some point. Go on, say the other one. They should be really good at this. Cristiano Ronaldo. Yeah. Fair enough. That's pretty obvious. That was obvious to Sergio Ramos for me. But that's very much incorrect. It's really difficult thinking because that, I mean, it's so long ago it just all blurs into one, the years. I do remember the game because of the Mourinho thing. Liam Gallagher in the crowd. I'm not guessing him. If we'd have done who was in attendance, I'd have won. There you go. Rafa Varane. If Ramos didn't play, you could have Varane probably would have.

9:10Oh, that's nice. That's very nice. Angel Di Maria Correct Very nice Sergio Ramos What are you doing? Sammy Gadira Correct Nice Sammy Gadira I don't think about Sammy Gadira enough I'd love to hear that I'd love to hear that count I reckon Higuain That's a big one Oh very nice I was enjoying eating a bit of lemon there Yeah Sammy Nasri Oh That's really good. Yes. Nasri Tevez. That's so annoying. The name's going on. Yeah, I could have got that one, that one, that one. Mark is a dancer on the touchline. Bruno Gimerajian midweek. It's so annoying. The weather's running dry now. It is so annoying.

10:01Fuck. Mic on. Oh, fuck you. What a guess. Is that right? Is it? Beautiful. Not Sanya. Beautiful. That's nice. Blimey, I wouldn't have got that. That's fair. I've only got one left and it's a total guess. Right. And it's just on proximity into the era. Gal Clichy. That would be left back. Yeah, fuck. Yes. Well played. Well done. Lovely stuff. This is got to get one to stay in. This is a good standard, I have to say. It's a good standard. Good level. I mean, I've done 14. That's very good. We've all done 14, I can see. Out of the 22. I chipped him with one, remember. I'm waiting to stop talking.

10:37I'm waiting to stop talking. You can press it any time. You've got to stop talking. Thank you Some respect for the Games Master Modric, no You know, he's a specialist in failure Fuck for that Why did Modric not play? Would he have been there? Nobody said Pepe, was he there? Pepe was in there I'm amazed I won't win Pepe Including you No, no, no, after I said Ramos You went for Varane, you didn't go for Pepe You could have had Abelor, you could have had David Silva, you could have had Gareth Barry, Javi Garcia, Marcelo, you could have had Nastasic. Nastasic. You could have had Michael Essien. Oh, Alonso.

11:21Xavi Alonso was there. Fuck. I was getting really confused about the midfield era because I was thinking Tony Kroos, but I think it's too early for him as well. I kept thinking of Lozano Diara. Oh, blimey. Well, look. You could have just to round it off. Yaya Tari. Yeah. He was a pedestrian. So the scores as it stands. Marcus, one point. Luke, one point. Vish, goose eggs. A goose egg. That's just one of those ones where you go. Get the goose egg, eh? Love that! You might fall foul of Marcus. You never know. I'd prefer it to go to him. Right. Okay. Original Rambler. Not even one of the main ones.

11:53You are. So it's very much like you're Ferguson right now. Vish is the young Mourinho and I'm the old Wenger. Yeah, that's fine. Cozy up to him. That's what you're doing right now.

12:07All right, Marcus, are you ready for the third round? I am. It can't be one's harder than that. Could take you into the full lead. Thomas Frank's 20 most used players in the Premier League. Thomas Frank's 20 most used and potentially abused players in the Premier League. Oh, my goodness. Brighton Bumo. Got to be. Yep. Thank you, Guy. Ben Mee. Oh, you slag, man. He's got to be in there. Johan Visser. Yep. Oh. He was out for a while. Come on, Marcus. Tell us. I'll go for Damsgaard then. Correct. Mikel Damsgaard. Ivan Toni. Ivan Toni. I thought it would be safe, but he was out for a while. The safe ones are all gone now, aren't they?

12:51Yeah. It's bloody Brentford. Have a gamble, like certain people. He's already gone. He's already gone. Vicious all over Brentford. This is Vicious' realm. Yeah, it's Vicious' realm. Keane Lewis Potter. I'm surprised. I am surprised at that. That's come out of nowhere. I am surprised at that. He was injured for a bit. Rico Henry. Oh. Good answer. He was injured for a while. Okay, get in there. Kevin Sharder. Right, now I'm into pure guesswork. I am, yeah. Something tells me, I've got three written down here, I'm not sure about any of them. This is basically just a guess. But I suspect David Rea must be in there.

13:28Oh, good shout. Yes. Good work. Good work. Mr. Norgaard. Oh. Mr. Norgaard yep to you yeah got a first name for me Pete famously accepts his surnames he always has one I'm just wondering if you want to embarrass yourself on the world stage are you going to give me that or not Stephen Norgaard yeah I am Stephen Norgaard Christian Norgaard yeah Ethan Pinnock yeah there he is yes Vish that's excellent work mate oh goodness goodness me

14:07No words to describe him Pure class Unlucky Unlucky Luke Marks has got his hand on his head It's not unlucky is it It's just poor knowledge I can't remember the bugger's name It's not poor knowledge It's not memory That is a problem for this game I want people The Luke Nation out there Just time this button Because on me it's very quick Stop talking and it's getting pressed It's not going to be right But Vicario Drunk on power Drunk on booze Vicario Yeah It wouldn't be a Spurs player For the round vish I actually don't know how to pronounce his name And that will matter Not with Dawson, it doesn't matter Mads Rusloff Well done 1-1-1 Come to West London Come correct Who was the keeper that went to Flecken Mark Flecken Was he a correct answer?

15:03I couldn't remember his bloody name Anyone else? Anyone for any more? Well, if I had them, I would have given you two. Frank Onyeka. You could have had Christopher Ayer. Ayer. Matthias Jensen. Nathan Collins. Vitaly Anelt. Lameluk. And also Shandon Bapiste as well. Which I very much enjoyed. That's why you didn't have any of them, Luke. Did you have a few of them, Vish? No. Oh, were you done there? That was their last one. It was enough to get you on the line. And Vish is back up again. What is Shandon Bapiste up to now? He's playing for Luton Town. We're doing this now, are we?

15:39I think his head's on a wobble, lads. It's all square. I think this paper tiger's starting to get a bit soggy. I will concede there's a certain amount of pressure being caught. I will concede that. Yeah. Get your PowerPoint out, Arsenal manager. Right. Right. We're going back to Vish. Male players. So that's a lot, innit? That's a lot. Male players. That sounds fine. Male players. It's a long show today. Male players who have played for both West Ham and Chelsea. Oh, bloody Lord. Male players that have played for both West Ham and Chelsea. Frank Lampard. Famously. I'm struggling here. Joe Colt.

16:17Yeah, that was my one. Oh, good. Well, you can't have him. He's been taken. Come on. To the dance. This is poor. I don't believe this is a... I need you here, Marcus. Don't let me down. Carlton Colt. Oh, lovely. That was sexy, man. I had to get one at least. Bloody Norum. Yossi Benayoun. Ah, sod off. Very good. Emerson. Kurt Zouma. No, he never... Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he was. That's what the game does to you. You frightened me with a doubt there. You fallen on blondes. Scott Parker. Fish is all over this, isn't he? Glenn Johnson. Lovely. That's a good one. Nice. Emerson. Why am I struggling with this?

17:03that was too quick he's a lure unto himself show some fucking respect that is really piss poor show some fucking respect Marcus Wayne Bridge oh you slag oh yeah the cup somewhat runneth dry right who's at the bottom who's at the bottom of the drinks still might be a little Victor Moses slurping there who's in the tea leaves that's a lovely one that Tal Benhaim oh he's too good it's good stuff It gets to the point sometimes in this game where you just know you're at your depth. How many were there in total? Brentford was... How many have you got left? Five left. Goodness me. If I keep talking, you won't press the button.

17:41Hey! Come on, get down to it. That's when other people talk. Focus.

17:48I hate sometimes my kids. I've got... I just thought one in that. Denver Bar. Denver Bar. Oh, yeah. Denver Bar. Well done, Vish. What other ones were there? So it's currently, before we get to them, 2-1-1. That's right. Very nice. Fish, Luke, and Marcus. Championship points. He's on the verge. Could have had Craig Forrest. Could have. Yeah, obviously. That was never going to happen. Oh, damn. Would you have had John Harley? Oh, yes! I mean, I remember him, but I would have. I've seen Moe and Fulham. Yeah. He coached Pompey. He was down Pompey as well, yeah. Ian Pearce. Yeah. And the minty man, Scott Minto.

18:26Scott Minto. They're tricky ones. They're tricky ones. Yeah, exactly. A lot of left backs. John Harley was at Wimbledon as well leave London mate well there you go right we're into the fifth round which means it's me to go first if Vish doesn't win this round and therefore win the belt then the winner if Luke's to win it he then takes a tie break with Vish if I was to do it yeah I don't want a tie break with Vish it's the last thing I want he lost his last tie break you always say that going first can help sometimes hinder mainly help right okay let's see the top Oh, sorry. Burp. The top 20...

19:02Ha ha! Been eating me lemon. The top 20 players with the most off sides since the 2006-2007 Premier League season. Oh, for goodness sake. The top 20 players with the most off sides since the 2006-2007 Premier League season. I'm already struggling. When the record began, you utter sluts. Chris Wood is always off side. Chris Wood. Have you played enough? That is literally the first name I wrote down as well. How have we done that? Chris Wood. Is it right or not? That'd be nice to know. I was busy Correct Too busy Too busy I can't believe that That was the first name I wrote down as well Vish is probably about 14 Yeah I mean Fernando Torres No tiebreaker for me I'll get no help From you here today Jermaine Defoe Oh yeah Jermaine Defoe Harry Kane Harry Kane Yeah Burbatov Immy Yep I'm basically guessing Marcus I'm afraid That's the name of the game Marcus Rashford It's not nice to have a Marcus in there unfortunately Chance for Vish to get the belt Vish you can take this belt I mean Rooney I was surprised you didn't go Rooney There it is Unified the belts He's done it He had nothing else written down either Nothing else His last one Any other speculative shots, Marcus?

20:29Obviously, you've got that early. Is the list just strikers who's played most since? I had Son Hugh Minn written down. Pretty much. Was he in there? Son in there? No, no. Good shout, though, but I guess... Not if it's wrong. You could have had Zamora, Benteke, Bellamy, Bent, Drogba, Heskey, Adebayor, Agbon Lahore, Jimmy Vardy. He always played off the shoulder, didn't he? Vardy with a bit of shout, yeah. Nicholas Anelka, Peter Crouch, Robin Van Persie, Romelu Lukaku, Sergio Aguero, and Yakubu. Yakubu? Yakubu. It's a striker who played a lot. Torez didn't play that long, did he? Well, that's what I was...

21:02Yeah, yeah. It's fair to say by then I was struggling, but Vish has done it, everybody! He's done it! Too good, mate, as ever. If you scroll back 10, 15 minutes, you probably have to wait for an ad as well, you'll get to the point where Luke was joyous about me being goose-egged. Right, yeah, nice. Alright, mate, you won the quiz. You don't want to fucking stand up routine. I think it was since that point that I won all three. I think... Needles to say. I'm going to sound like Royal Hodgson at Liverpool here, but I'm encouraged by my performance. I'm fucking not. And as I said, I'm a little horse, but soon that little horse will grow to be a big horse.

21:39So that's absolutely fine. We're waiting. Yeah. I mean, this is going to be accused of me of being lashing out and it's not befitting of the Luke Nation to do so, but I may just say one thing. Yeah. How many belts you got? Same as me. Yeah, Yeah, but you've been in dreadful form for like a year. I won last time with Jack's. How many times? When was the last time you won Jack's? He wouldn't even wear his own merch either. Exactly, yeah. Have you requested it? That is a fucking lie. That is a shame-based lie. See what you've done now? You've suddenly got me happy that Vish won the belt. That's how low you've gone.

22:09Disgrace. The nation will be back with our fire in our belly and our head in the freezer. Don't worry about that. I care. It's just a minor blip. But without the t-shirt. All I'm going to do is simply go and speak to Rory and get Vish off the Friday show. as much as possible. There we are. You need to get yourself, Luke, to footballramblestar.com and get yourself some more, you know, beautiful clothing from that store. I said they should do a fire in the belly head in the freezer t-shirt, but they went for a Luke Nation once there. You don't use that anymore. To quote yourself, we're not going to do this now, are we?

22:34No, it's on the belt though. He's misthought in it on the belt. What's on the belt is fire in the belly head in the fridge because people run out of characters. I did run out of characters. No, but you made it your own. I did make it on my own. And I think that's very important. I ran out of character

22:50didn't give me an answer because he was busy and then paused to get a game shot at some point to do a but. I was trying to look. I was trying to look. You kept eating lemons throughout. And ginger. I was trying to see who the people who had massive offsides in Europe. Mbappe's quite bad for it. Immobile and Zlatan. So you got bored from doing the quiz that you were adjudicating. I wanted to see there's a European tour. I really wanted to say Zlatan because he's always caught offside but he didn't play in the Premier League. Are you wearing a Luke Nation shirt under that tracky top? No, I haven't actually.

23:20I'm wearing a t-shirt with the cast of Home Improvement and the logo for Seinfeld to upset people with mental difficulties. Not on sale at footballramblestore.com. No. Yes. But if you can find him, Pete Donaldson's t-shirt could be yours. You will have to... Stop eating the lemon. I'm not eating the lemon. I'll eat the tea bag in a minute. Take us out of here. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble Park of the Acast Creator Network. We'll be back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football. make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcast congratulations Vish Vish has chosen Pitbull to play us in for the weekend the gates are open enjoy yourselves we'll see you on Monday see you later

24:13the Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network you