Jack's Encyclopaedia: Dutch players, quarter-final scorers and League One club(s)

0:00Immersing yourself in all things soccer ahead of this summer's World Cup? I'm Alex Avnos, senior sports editor from The Guardian. Whether you're a soccer beginner or you know the game inside and out, we've got you covered. From one of the fastest growing soccer newsrooms, The Guardian brings you in-depth World Cup coverage that gets into the winners and losers on and off the pitch. Read, watch and listen as our journalists connect the dots between the games, the cultures and this political moment. We'll have daily newsletters throughout the tournament, a global perspective, and a squad of Americans, including me, on the ground with the U.S.

0:32national team. Plus, if you want to test your soccer knowledge, try On The Ball. It's a game in the Guardian app, and it's really, really fun. And if you're into stuff like this... Well, I think the problem is, if you give footballers an inch, they will take a mile. Is it too much when it's this close? It's a bit much. It's a bit too real. Maybe you could just talk with a slight delay. Be sure to listen to our Football Weekly podcast for on-the-move expert analysis. The Guardian, bringing you the whole picture on soccer. Search Guardian Soccer for more.

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3:19Peak performance isn't just built in the gym. It's built at home. Shop BlueAir.com Official air care partner of the New York Knicks. Previously on Jack's Encyclopedia. Starting 11 of both teams during Liverpool's 2-0 win against Manchester United in the 2003 League Cup final. Vish goes first. Of course he does. Vish goes first to win on the Man United question. Well done everyone. Well done everyone. Good stuff. Well, get a fucking question wrong. Fair. Fair. Fuck you. There we are. Dean Smith also says you're an encyclopedia of football. A what? An encyclopedia of football. I don't know what that means.

4:02Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Jack's Encyclopedia. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson. Yes, you are.

4:25Welcome back to another edition. Award winning edition. I'm just going to say it's award winning. Yeah, why not? I'll give it award. I like it. Oscar winning. Oscar winning. What's it when you win an Oscar and a Tony? It's an EGOT. It's an EGOT. It's an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar and a Tony. So the EGOT winning Jackson Encyclopedia. EGOT winning Jackson Encyclopedia. I don't even know what that means. Vish is still shying away from the Friday show. so we're going to be playing another league fixture. Jim prevailed last week against me at my biddy aunt. I enjoyed that one. That was quite fun. That went right down to the wire.

4:59It was a great game. A lot of Wayne Hennessy fun. Yes, a lot of joy to host that one and just to sit back and watch. Well, you're not going to be hosting this time. I'm going to be hosting and you are going to be taking on Jim in a battle for the Jack league fixture. What a battle. If you don't know the rules, they're really simple. It's a game of categories. I will give you a category and then we'll go around each of you to see if you can give me a valid answer. If you go too slow, I will press a countdown timer, leaving six seconds to answer. Jim, you are going first. Okay, hit me. Hit him. And the subject is every Dutch player to make 20 or more Premier League appearances this season.

5:39Every Dutch player to make 20 or more Premier League appearances this season. 20 players. Virgil van Dijk.

5:50Durian Timber suddenly you go he's injured Ryan Gravenbeck

6:00I thought you were yeah I thought I was too confused who have we got now I'll go for Brian Broby it doesn't matter how many times you say it it's funny I will go for Mickey van der Ven Yep Javi Simmons Yep John Paul van Hecker Oh nicely done Jim Nicely done and correct Yes Cody Khakpo Khakpo Has he done to it

6:43Matthijs De Ligt

6:51goodness Marcus we need one from you for the point and the round 20 he's been injured Kenny Tettay correct well done who else is in there first blood goes to Marcus Mark Verbruggen Crescentio Somerville Ian Martsen you should have had Lamarie Bogard Lutcherer Getreda you could have had Mats Vifa You could have had Pascal Stroik. You could have had Robin Ruffs, Seth Van Der Berg, Reinders, Tiffany, Tierney Reinders, and Zian Fleming. So, well done to Marcus. Those ones like Fleming and Ruffs and so on. You're like, oh yeah, they're Dutch, aren't they? Yes. It sort of clicks. Oh, of course. Where else?

7:34Where else? Marcus, one. Jim, nil. As we head into the second round. Marcus, you are kicking us off this time round. With every player to score, in this season's FA Cup quarterfinals. Every player to score in this season's FA Cup quarterfinals. 16 players, goals and penalty show-ups do not count, I'm afraid. They don't count. Own goals do count. Right. I'll have Erling Haaland. It's always good to go first when Erling Haaland is an answer. Yeah, he's got three of them. Esteval, Willian. Yes. Victor Jokeres. Yes. Shea Charles. I like it. It's there. He's in at number 14.

8:24Right. Do it. Yep. That's the idea, isn't it? Alejandro Garnaccio. Nice. He did. Jao Pedro.

8:38Yes. This is ludicrous that I can't... Ludicrous? I don't think it's ludicrous, Marcus. Quite confusing, I think. Yeah. Hard round. Dominic Calvert-Lewin. Oh, DCL. Welcome to the DCL. Toss in Adorabayo. Oh. Yes, please. Thanks. Oh, come on. Bloody come on.

9:12Cole Palmer scored in that game. Oh. I knew he didn't. I knew I was... Jim, you might as well... Ayo Tanaka? Yeah, well... That's the best. Lovely. I couldn't remember. That's a slide rule pass, that is. Beautiful. Go on, put me out of misery. Who are the West Ham scorers? I'll just go through the list. Andres Santos, Antoine Semenyo, of course. Axel De Zazie. You could have had Jordan Lawrence Gabriel. You could have had Jean-Luc Hato. You could have had Matthias Fernandes or Ross Stewart. I couldn't remember Fernandes. Yeah, it was the Chelsea game. I was like, a load of players scored, but it was like sick of strings.

9:50And I got it bloody wrong. Look, it's a nice pacey match. We are neck and neck. And what beautiful neck you have, I have to say. Thank you. There will be no whitewash, right? Which is... No, no whitewash. I'm thrilled about that. I'm glad. The bar is low. It's good for the game. It's good for the game. It's like when, you know, the promoted teams don't immediately go down. I think it's good. It's what we need. It's what we need. Proper Barkley, is this? It's a competitive league fixture. It's a competitive league fixture. And actually, Sky Sports are happy that they've got it on a Super Sunday.

10:21They're happy. Even though, you know. Come on, just leave it at that and carry on. Jim's turn. Round number three. Every player to start in Man United's 4-3 win against Leeds in the 2001-2002 Premier League season. Oh, my. Every player to start in Man United's 4-3 win against Leeds in 2001-2002 Premier League season? This is Barkley stuff. This is Barkley stuff. This is one of those, we just say a name like David Beckham in the hope. Is that the name you're saying? Is that the name you're saying? Yes, it is the name you're saying. It's got to be, isn't it? Yeah, okay, fine. Yes. I suddenly thought, was that the game when he was, no, that was a different game.

11:05I'll go for Paul Scholes He played I will go for Ryan Giggs Yep Come on Roy Keane You sometimes want to sort of hedge your bets with the sort of forward players don't you But Roy Keane didn't play forward He was very much in midfield And he was very much present That was sneaky That was proper X-Factor stuff It was a little bit Chris Tarrant. Tarrant. Adele Tarrant. Okay. Gary Neville. Gary Neville. Of course he was there. Of course he was there. Shouted his little lid off. Dwight York? Ooh. I like it, but it's not there. Oh, sod off, Dwight. Not in there. Who was Dwight York? What was Dwight York up to that night?

11:53Draw us a picture. Go on. Who were the front two for Man United? Stop asking me that because then I've got to go down the whole list. Sorry. Got Ronnie Johnson in there, Robbie Fowler, Oleg Olusonche, you could have had Nigel Martin, you could have had Nicky Butt, Mikel Silvestre, Mark Viduca, Alan Smith, Alan Smith, Danny Mills, David Batty, Dominic Matteo, Fabian Barthes, Harry Kuehl, Ian Hart, Jonathan Woodgate, or Laurent Blanc. Oh, right. Laurent Blanc. Oh, and Seth Johnson. Good old Seth. Sorry, Seth. Yeah, it's so annoying when you get one of them wrong because you obviously go for the obvious ones.

12:28And then he says a load of other obvious ones. Well, I was going to go for those obvious ones, but I thought those obvious ones might be wrong. There is simply no point in trying to remember the game. I completely agree. Alright, well, it's currently Jim 2. Marcus 1. I'm up against it. You're up against it. Back to the wall. Not backs. I've only got one back. Jim is arms across your sort of trunk. Oh my goodness. Pushing you up against a wall and about to kiss your neck tenderly. Well, as you establish, we have beautiful necks, don't we? Mark's got a lovely girthy neck, haven't you? You're a good lifter.

13:07Good old horses. What's that thing you put on a horse? Saddle. This is like a thing that Gurners put around the necks that sort of is horse connected. It's like a big horseshoe of leather. It's very odd. What's that about? Horses are just very confusing animals. They are They're hair What have they got hairstyles What do you mean I guess so yeah It's needless isn't it It's weird Needless fanciness I like it But it is odd Yeah Alright There we go Marcus one Gym two Marcus your turn Let's get back into this game Shall we Yeah go on then Let's make this interesting Round number four Every club currently competing In league one Ooh Every club currently competing In league one It's English football's third tier Marcus 24 teams Lincoln City I believe that is true Sheffield Wednesday Shit Oh, got emotional Got emotional there You've fucked that Yeah, you're thinking of next season, me I'm sorry No, I am, aren't I?

14:11Shit, man Fuck I was thinking about the future again You've Oh my goodness They did have minus for a bit But doesn't mean to say I've dropped down I've gone in so early there Because I've just gone bang Marcus, well done I was ready with Reading and Bolton It was very easy AFC Wimbledon You can have an AFC Wimbledon, you can have a Barnsley, Blackpool, Bolton, Brantford, Burton Cardiff, Doncaster, Exeter, Huddersfield, Lennon, Tannor, Ian, Pluton Mansfield Town, Northampton Town and Peter United and Plymouth, Hock Island, Portfield and Reading and Robberham and Stevenage and Stockport and Wigan and Wick and Wanderers I'll travel anywhere to see my favourite team It's like that Animaniacs song about all the countries in the world.

14:54It is! It was not as good as that, but I did enjoy it. Give some respect. Yeah, I think I have. But just not to League One. Marcus 2, Jim 2. Was he heading to the far end? Damn! It's good. It's a nice, quick, efficient game, mainly because Jim appears to be wanting the throw rounds. That could have gone a lot longer. We could have got more entertainment out of that, but you muffed it up at the first hurdle. You've got your eyes on a pint, haven't you?

15:22Rattling through this They're delivering the My Fizzy Ant casks I'm going to get fucking Getting involved It's the perfect Kind of Storm really isn't it Because he's got his eye on a pint And he's got a couple of rock stars in him already He's fizzing We're going to do a round of Farmyard footballing puns After we finish Just to make up some of the time Big enough lesson Fine They're in League One Keep your powder dry Keep your stye That's not a round Free of dirt That'd be an odd round You've got to come up With the old Bacon Wanderers Who's that? Bolton Bolton That's sore art You're having a nightmare You're gonna have a nightmare This isn't a round In the farmyard The farmyard thing Can it be a round If I lose this next round?

16:11Jim's turn The final round Here we go We should be upping The pressure Upping the drama The final round Decider Here we go Jim Don't throw this away You've got so much to live for Jim Throw it away Stop throwing Stop putting this Mixed messages Game into disrepute please Every player to score Five or more goals In this season's Champions League Every player to score Five or more goals In this season's Champions League Anthony Gordon Oh He's in there I love that start Yeah that's nice Harry Kane Harry Kane still scoring Gabriel Martinelli yes that's outrageous that Martinelli's got that Kylian Mbappe whoa whoa Erling Haaland he's there he's there come on who are some obvious ones that I will know let's have Luminiumal Correct.

17:19Harvey Barnes. Yeah. Oh, that was naughty, Peter. That was very naughty.

17:35Louis Diaz.

17:39Yeah. Well done, Marcus. Well done. Okay. Louis Diaz. Using the time effectively. I'll end it. Ricky one.

17:54Michael Elyse.

18:03That is a shame. Marcus, you've got to get one. For the FTW. Who's the man of Dembele? Buggered it up. Back in. back in Jim respite Vinicius Junior why didn't I say him why didn't you say him why didn't I say him why didn't you say him Jim why didn't I say him you let me back in I did let you back in and I've completely buggered it who have we got come on there's some guessable ones this is ridiculous behaviour you've got this Marcus I believe in you Robert Lewandowski

18:44Jim Buck Oh Silly me Teppid Yes Very cool Back to back wins for Jim Buck Two tepid contestant Back to back wins Come on People of Jim Buck too You could have had The Saurlof monster Oh You could have had Camila Duran You could have had Desiree Dway You could have had Dominic Strabbersly You could have had Firmin Lopez You could have had following Balogun you could have had Gorka Grizetta you could have had Peter Hauge is it Hauge or Hauge? Hauge Hauge Julian Alvarez Caspar Hauge you could have had Kvarts Keria you could have had Louis Suarez you could have had Marcus Rashford I wondered about Rashford a few of those had a few tickles on those but I ultimately didn't know Victor Oseman and Vettinia to be honest with you there's not actually that many sort of ridiculous Kvarts Keria is a big hit I thought about him and then I thought about Federico Valverde as well.

19:41Well, fair play to you, Jimbo. Five is a lot, though, isn't it? Five is a lot in a single Champions League. Lewandowski had four goals. Four and a half. You were close. I've got done. Well done, Marcus. How are you feeling after that? A little bit disappointed, but, you know, when Jim's in that form, I mean, Jim ultimately did give me a round. Gave me a round as well. You know, because of my frank contempt for the lower league. Yeah. So let's begin with the farmyard footballer puns to fill out the next two minutes so we can hit that all important 20 minute mark. Yes. Shall I start with Demba Ba?

20:17Nice. Nice. Okay. I'll go for... Because I've got nothing at the moment.

20:27Gareth Bale. I could have gone for that. Yeah. Robbie Fowler. Nice. Foul. Time to go, Peter. Yeah. All right. Get us out of here then. Thanks for listening to the Football Rumble, part of the Aircast Creator Network. We're back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football. Make sure you're following us on socials, at Football Rumble, and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. The weekend is here. The gate to the fun is open. Pitbull is playing. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you on Monday. Lots of love. Ta-ta for now. Gremlis all your feels.

21:05The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

21:32gets into the winners and losers on and off the pitch. Read, watch, and listen as our journalists connect the dots between the games, the cultures, and this political moment. We'll have daily newsletters throughout the tournament, a global perspective, and a squad of Americans, including me, on the ground with the U.S. national team. Plus, if you want to test your soccer knowledge, try On The Ball. It's a game in the Guardian app, and it's really, really fun. And if you're into stuff like this... Well, I think the problem is, if you give footballers an inch, they will take a mile. Is it too much when it's this close?

22:02It's a bit much. It's a bit too real. Maybe you could just talk with a slight delay. Be sure to listen to our Football Weekly podcast for on-the-move expert analysis. The Guardian, bringing you the whole picture on soccer. Search Guardian Soccer for more. When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery. So you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly.

22:37Call 1-800-GRAINGER, click grainger.com, or just stop by. Grainger. For the ones who get it done. The old adage goes, it isn't what you say, it's how you say it. Because to truly make an impact, you need to set an example. You need to take the lead. You need to adapt to whatever comes your way. And when you're that driven, you drive an equally determined vehicle, the Range Rover Sport. Blending power, poise, and performance, it was designed to make an impact. With a dynamic drive, refined comfort, and innovations like cabin air purification and active noise cancellation, the Range Rover Sport is built to be as uncompromising as you.

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