Jack's Encyclopaedia: Ian Holloway's clubs, Prem referees, and League Cup losers

0:01The top 20 players are the most offside since the 2006-2007 Premier League season. when the records began. You utter sluts. Chris Wood is always offside. Chris Wood. Have you played enough? That is literally the first name I wrote down. Chris Wood. How have we done that? Berbatov. Himmy. Yep. I'm basically guessing Marcus, I'm afraid. That's going to be Vish. That's the name of the game. Marcus Rashford. It's not nice to have a Marcus in there, unfortunately. Chance for Vish to get the belt. Vish. You can take this belt. I mean, Rooney. I was surprised you didn't go Rooney. Unify the belts Dean Smith also says You're an encyclopedia of football A what?

0:43An encyclopedia of football I don't know what that means Hello everybody Welcome to the Football Ramble It's Jack's Encyclopedia I'm Marcus Feller I'm Jim Campbell I'm Pete Donaldson And I'm the Dushan Hunter-Raja

1:11Welcome back to the Ramble and another edition of Jackson Cyclopedia. Were you not sure? I don't know. I don't like being on this side of the table, to be quite frank. I'm trying to breathe better because at 44 I've discovered that I can't breathe anymore. I'm trying to sort of breathe through my stomach. Unfortunately, on the wide camera, you do see my awful posture and a big fat belly sort of going out. So I'm quite kind of, I'm a little bit subconscious. Do you want us to get you a blanket? What, a little pillow? Yeah, to cover. To cover my belly. Yeah, well, Vish has truly taken over this conversation, I think, when it comes to Jackson Cyclopaedia.

1:50He's a great man. In the space of two weeks, he's won both the My Biddy Aunt belt and the Jackson Cyclopaedia belt. Outrageous. What a man. What a nerd. I've actually created a Jackson Cyclopaedia belt on my 3D printer, but I forgot to bring it in. Oh, that's a shame. I'm reliably informed that we're not going to be playing Jackson's Wikipedia for a few weeks. So I've got time to perfect it. And you know what? I've got time to make Vish pleased with what I'm creating because he's a bit sniffy about the old Biddy Ant belt, unfortunately. Well, it feels horrible. It feels horrible. Yeah. Oh, your wins feel horrible, do they?

2:21Holding that belt feels horrible, does it? It feels dirty. I'm going to make you a John Cena spinner belt for that. It looks... I'll take that. But it feels like something that the bloke who, you know, used to harvest skin in Silence of the Lambs. That was the very best AliExpress fake latex skin. Urrageous showboating. Let's hope that he doesn't win today and therefore Jim or I can collect. Yeah, exactly. I don't mind that at all. If ever I'm not going to win, it's when Luke's not here. Marcus, you and I have worked together for a long time. Yes. I don't like you. You don't like me. But the listeners, they probably want us to do something today.

3:01Exactly. We've just got to stop this man. True. Well, Vish will be defending his Jackson Pacto Cyclopaedia belt against Marcus and Jim. I'm going to be on the buttons. I've noticed that the production team have tried to tidy up and guardrail. They're running order a little bit, so I'm not so confused. Let me make that very clear. That will make me more confused. This will be more of an edit for them. I'd like to apologize now for them. I cannot be contained within... This is what the production staff get for helping him. What more can they do? Him calling them out on the show for trying to help him.

3:33I'm not complaining. I think it's a lovely thing they're doing. You're not complaining. But I am the granddad who will get behind the wheel when he's not allowed to drive and just drive to smash into a wall. And somehow it's their fault. And somehow it's their fault. Pete, without asking for clues like Marcus does, what are you talking about? What do you mean? Do it. If you don't know the rules, they're simple. It's a game of categories. I'll give you a category. Do it. And then we will go around each of you to see if you can give me a valid answer. If you go to a slot, I'll press a countdown timer, leaving six seconds to answer.

4:10Jim? Hi. You're going to be going first. Yes. Why? I don't know. It's in the runner. Tallest goes first. Do it. We're going to kick off with this man. Do it. Can anyone guess who that voice is? Is he in Holloway? Is he in Holloway? Yeah. Every club that Ian Holloway has played for or managed. Do it. Piss off. Piss off. Played for or managed Do it, do it, do it, do it Do it, do it, do it Stop doing it I love it Production team Apologies for slating you But that is a touch Do it Sounds like bop it Bop it It's really not helping is it No it's really really not My toy's got Ian Holloway in it Ian Holloway Ian Holloway The playing career is so unnecessary I'm glad they put managers in there Every club that Ian Holloway has played for or managed.

5:0312 answers. 12 answers. Okay. Right. Oh, bloody Laura. Glad I'm not first. This is a tricky one. Uh-huh. Let me think for a bit longer. Allow me that, given that you've been essentially heckling me with the man's voice. I'm really struggling here. I've got three in there I'm confident with. Out of 12. Out of 12. Good on you. Good on you. Twinden Town. Yeah, right. You got lucky there. Do it! QPR Do it! Yep, they're the two that I was confident on. It's the only one I can use it in. Blackpool. Blackpool. Do it! Thanks. And the old three has come back to bite me. They are the three that I've had.

5:46You see how it benefits you go first. You and Vish. I've got to go through you two to get an answer. Exactly, exactly.

5:58I'm just waiting for him to click do it no say something Walsall I'm glad you fell on the Walsall grenades for us Jim is out don't do it Crystal Palace you wanker oh sounds like Marcus has gone yeah absolutely and now I'm out come on Who did Holloway manage? Who did Holloway manage? Who did he play for? Yeah, I don't know that. You don't know that one. Come on, come on. There's another side in there. He must have at some point played or managed Plymouth Argyle. Well done. Oh, well done, Marcus. Well done. Well done, Marcus. Visho. Visho, let's have one from you. Leicester City. Too confident. I hate it.

6:49I know. Too confident. Yeah, well done. The amount he drinks. How is this possible? good point Marcus yeah I'm just working at that bit

7:03you're getting the button sunshine can we make this louder somehow put an echo on it I've got a tickle not like Reading I'm lucky I'll probably think of the QPR well done Vish you are through with one round point Who did we miss? You missed Brentford Who he played for Okay He played for Also Torquay United I should have kept With the West Which of the Bristol clubs Did he play for? And he played for Played for Brentford Played for Bristol Rovers How do you know that? Fucking up And he managed And he managed them as well Grinsby Town he managed Millwall he managed Oh Millwall Torquay United he played for And Wimbledon he played for Huh So yeah So Millwall I wouldn't get any of it Who he played for But yeah you say Millwall And I suddenly go Oh yeah Can we do it again?

7:53Would you have got Milton Keynes-Dons? No, you wouldn't have. The only one of that I would have had a slight chance that you said, oh, yeah, Millwall. If you'd have said Milton Keynes-MK-Dons, which would have been mad, would you have got that, do you reckon? No. I reckon you should do, because it's the same club. Email him. You're the games master. You're asking us whether we... I think I would have allowed that. I don't know. So if there's an answer Can we say Arsenal or Woolwich Arsenal? Does it not matter? The score update is Vish 1 Marcus and Jim 0 No more do it for you Great start for that guy with the leathery face belt Apparently going to Marcus next Good!

8:38Because I always go last What is going on here? Yeah I don't know what's going on here I usually go this way That's fair isn't it? Every referee Marcus Oh piss off He's a shit I always go last. Well, enjoy this one. I hate this. Every referee to officiate a game in this season's Premier League. Every referee to officiate a game in this season's Premier League. There's 22 referees. I know, there's loads. I can't think of a single one. This is embarrassing. Good. Think of the most... I keep thinking of the one who's now disgraced and, you know... He really does stick out, doesn't he? I can picture them all and I can't get a ruddy name.

9:13Do it! Not that button.

9:20Mark Smith. That is so bad. I can picture that. I understand. Mark Smith is a very, that's a very generic referee's name. I appreciate it. Peter, you're being incredibly kind to me. You're being incredibly kind. You should scorn me for that. I wanted to go first. No scorning. And that's how I repaid. No scorning allowed. Jim? Michael Oliver. Yeah, thank you. Michael Oliver. Knew that. I know that guy's name. I should have said it. A Michael. Darin England Yeah Another one Darin England Yeah Gyrod Gillett No that was my one Yes Jim Go on The homogeny of these names Are astonishing And indicative Potentially Of a wider problem In refereeing Anthony Madley Ooh Is that someone's name It's someone's name You've got the point Jim Yes Well done I've got two more as well You know This doesn't happen to me very much I could have Yeah so Simon Hooper Simon Hooper yes Paul Tierney and Paul Tierney otherwise also refereed a game this is what happens or officiated a game in this season this is what happens because he's an Arsenal fan he thinks it's all a conspiracy he can probably give you their addresses as well yeah listen to these names Andrew Kitchen Andrew Madley Anthony Anthony Taylor Chris Kavanagh Craig Parson Darren England Jared Gillett John Brooks Matthew Donoghue Michael Oliver Michael Salisbury Paul Tierney Peter Banks Robert Jones Samuel Barrett Simon Hooper Stuart Atwell Thomas Kirk Tim Robinson Tony Harrington and Farah Halam is the last one I'm always thinking of Tim Robinson because he's got the same name as Tim Robinson exactly well thank goodness I'm not going to this is a stupid game God bloody hell couldn't run bloody one of them I don't deserve to be here

11:16Jim Yes You've got a point Vish You have got a point Marcus Raise your game Do it Round number three This one goes to Vish Every team To lose a League Cup final Since the 1995-96 season No repeated answers Even if a team has lost multiple finals Arsenal Arsenal Twice Sure have Chelsea Four times Oh wow Spurs. I like this round. Three times. Manchester United. Juants. Aston Villa. Price. Bradford City. Ooh, nicely done. Very nicely done. Newcastle United. Correct. Southampton. Ooh. Yes. Bolton Wanderers. Middlesbrough beat them. That was one of my own. It's on the list. Villa. Already said it. Marcus said it.

12:15I should probably write these down. Oh, idiot. Right. Sunderland. Correct. I don't think they've already been said, but surely Liverpool. Yeah, surely. Three times. Three times. They weren't always good. I don't think anyone's said that. Middlesbrough. Yep. Leicester. Correct. I'm surprised. I thought, okay, I've got to get my years right here. I think it's right on the button. Leeds United. And you're right, Marcus. Very, very good. Only four left. Only four left. League Cup final, he says. Have Swansea been there and lost? Oh, thank goodness. Leveling it up. I feel like we're going to be going to the tiebreaker if we're not very careful.

12:57I needed that after a disgrace myself in the last round. So how many teams have we missed? You missed four. Birmingham City. So I thought Birmingham was to beat Arsenal, but then they lost to Liverpool on penalties. Cardiff City. Tranmere Rovers. Oh. And Wigan Athletic. Wigan. Completely forgot Wigan. You forget the Wigan sort of dynasty. So Wigan and Tranmere, when you mentioned the other two, yeah. I had Tranmere Rovers and Birmingham City, and I said Villa. On behalf of Jim, and I'm glad you did. Jim won, Marcus won, Fish won. It's Jim's turn as we head into round number four. Jim? Hi. Look up.

13:34Look into my eyes. Look into my new contact lenses I've got. Answers on. every player to score an own goal in this season's Premier League every player to score an own goal in this season's Premier League Lissandra Martinez correct Nick Vultimata of course it's in the time we had Derby the famous one

14:03Joaquin Anderson scored one for Fulham I'm not going mad I could get that wrong he did not yes and Mascara

14:15Aidan Heaven Just like Heaven Jim This is getting tricky now Very quickly There's a Burnley player who scored two against City And I can't remember his name Don't give it to Vish His name was Barry Ongoles

14:36Christian Romero Prick Let's have one from you Vish I think he's got one He's got that look He's got that look He's got that glint in his eye Does Enzo Fernandes have an own goal? Jim's back in Jim's back in Oh no Jim v Vish Worst thing about Worse than losing this game Is having to play it again

15:06Say defender or keeper Yeah It's difficult though I won Ibrahima Kanate that's what you gotta do yeah you gotta go you gotta go Vish let's have one from you take the points for crying out loud otherwise nobody gets a point La Croix it's a no nobody gets a point nobody gets a point loads of people have scored own goals for Arsenal but I just yeah of course yeah was Fabian Cher in there that came into my mind just at the end no the ones you missed Axel Twazzebi Barber Bruggen you could have had Petrovic you could have had Ethan Pinnock and Munson Jorginho Rutter Paul Van Hecker you could have had Josh Cullen Mavropanos Crehy you could have had Esteve you could have had Murillo Nathan Collins Nikola Milenkovic you could have had Nordi Mokiele you could have had Pau Torres Rodrigo Muniz you could have had Sam Johnson Sanderberg and also Sven Bottman as discussed that's what I was thinking with Joaquin Anderson I thought Fulham have got one big Scandi fella Could have been Botman's boys as well Could have been Blimey This is a huge round Massive Winner takes all Big round Big round Marcus Yes We're going to kick things off with you I didn't know Well last time You know what A little bird A little bird No There's something in my waters That says that you're going to be Having a good one This time round Oh god Round number five Marcus Speller family names All square Somebody go for it Dogs Once owned by the spell Actually I'd do alright I think you'd do This is so going to be England related.

16:41It's unreal. You two are also English and England fans. Not as much as you. You can't do that. You might be too English. I hate referees and own goals. You guys love referees. And Jim loves own goals. Okay, so don't give me that. It's good for you, actually. Every English player... Mental. Every English player to score three or more goals in the Premier League so far this season. Not as easy as you might think. No. How is that in my favour? Not including own goals. This is genuinely quite tricky It is quite tricky Who's going first Pete? Marcus is going first Dominic Calvalluna Lovely answer DCL I think he's I think he's got three I'm going to go for Bakayi Saka Anthony Gordon Yeah Phil Foden Yeah Harvey Barnes That was my other one The only one in CanScore In Newcastle Morgan Gibbs-White Surely That would be just about, I would think Yeah, Jesus Yeah Texland Rice?

17:40Yep Oh Come on, Jim Yes Yes Come on, Jim I can't even remember Teams Cole Palmer Oh I don't think he's going to have, though I like it Oh, well done, Cole Palmer Edward Ritchie has a dick Absolute knob, that was wrong Of course he has, yeah Oh, Gerard Bowen Oh Of course Marcus. Jared Bowen. Oh God.

18:14I'm struggling here. Oh God. I hate sometimes my kids. Well lucky Jim. You're well. Vish. He's got a little cheeky smirk on his face. Olly Watkins.

18:27Very good. Morgan Rogers. Thanks. Ha ha ha. Mason Mount. Oh. Oh. Oh. You're chomping through these guys. I'm very proud of you. Nice and bloody mount. Nonny Maduweke? I thought you wanted to be there. Fish for the win. Fish for the win. Let's have an English plate. He might have stuck in there. Callum Wilson. Oh, he will have done. A douche and a half. Well done. Out of all the names you could have chosen. Wow. Yeah. Who else could be a bad? Callum Hudson-Odoi. Man Like Welbs Of course Man Like Welbs I thought of Cullen Who had some adoy But I wondered If he'd had a call up For Ghana Emil Smith Rowe Oh that's poor of me Jaden Anthony Kieran Dewsbury Hall Couldn't get his name Out of my mouth Marcus There's a Marcus in there Tavania Tavania Tavania Michael Keane And your friend of mine Trevor Chalaba So not a Michael Keane Huge amount Yeah.

19:34Yeah. I couldn't, I was trying to say... Dewsbury Hall. Dewsbury Hall. And I was, I couldn't, I was thinking of... But you said Nonny Maduweka. No, no, no. I was thinking... It's easy to get them mixed up, isn't it? Oh, fuck off. Yes, we got him! Yeah. Oh dear. Well played Vish, you did well. Yeah, well played. Well done Vish. That's another win you won last week, didn't you? I did, yeah. You'd have found those belts all over the place, and when that belt arrives, you can have it. hopefully I'll have lost it by then oh dear or Pete will have been arrested for the materials used in the belt skin thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network we're back on Monday to react to all the weekends football make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts nice one PT nice one Jimmy congratulations Vish cheers pitbulls in your ears everybody the weekend has landed get out there we'll see you on Monday

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