Jack's Encyclopaedia: Prem Red cards, Portuguese Wolves and Real's CL Scorers

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5:05Dean Smith also says you're an encyclopedia of football.

5:09Luke Moore: A what? An encyclopedia of football. I don't know what that means. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Friday afternoon. It's Jack's Encyclopedia. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. I'm David Cartlidge. And I'm Vidushin Arantaraja. Come sure.

5:38Luke Moore: Oh, everybody, here we go. Friday afternoon, it's the big one. Whoa. It's Luke and David and Vish. What are you laughing at? On I, on I. Vish has just called me a cunt on his piece of paper. Oh, it's an early mind game. I wrote the word cunt down. If you read it and took it personally, that's on you. It's weird, because I would have thought that instantly would be about me. So David jumped on that one. Thank you very much. That was outrageous last week, wasn't it? Lamin-Yumel, who knew that you could only be nominated for the Golden Boy once? They say you can't learn anything from this show. No, you can't.

6:09You can't? No, you absolutely can't. We occasionally inform people by mistake.

6:13Luke Moore: By mistake? But we tried to do that as little as possible. Right. It's a big one today. Now, Jim Campbell won the belt last week after a game that went to a tiebreaker between him and Luke, of course. Jim is not here. It's a league fixture, but league fixtures are very important because it all goes to the cumulative total at the end of the season. That's how a league works, to see who's going to be in that playoff final. And David's got to make it count. David's not honest enough as the rest of us. So when he is in situ, he has to make it count. Exactly, yeah. So David's here. It's a pleasure to have him.

6:42Luke Moore: If you don't know the rules, they're simple. It's a game of categories, is Jack's encyclopedia. I will give a category, and then we'll go around each of the contestants to see if they can give a valid answer. If you answer incorrectly, you will hear this noise. If you answer correctly, you will hear this noise. All right. If you go too slow, I will press a countdown timer, leaving six seconds to answer. I'm surprised you're hosting this week because you've shown a bit of an increase in form recently. They needed someone to trust with the admin. Okay. That was the reason. That shows you. Can you believe it?

7:18Luke Moore: We've really hit rock bottom here. I'm the admin guy now. That'll strike fear in the heart of the hardest men. I think you'll find that that's what the ladies like. It was you all, Donaldson. So anyway, Luke, you're up against David and Vish. David, you against those two. Vish, you swap the names around. I'm not frightened about David. I am frightened about Vish. Are you? All right, cheers. Yeah. You're frightened about old Vish, eh? Pin that up in the dressing room. Vish is good. I wish we'd have recorded a few minutes before we went on there the mind games that were flowing around. But Vish put a marker down with what he wrote on that piece of paper.

7:53Luke Moore: Let's not say it again for the YouTube algorithm. Don't let David look at your piece of paper, Vish. That'll be a term. Yeah, you are leading a lot. Or could that be a tactic? Cheating? No, writing down wrong answers. David copies them. Oh, good point, yeah. I'll almost certainly read one hour by accident. Tell you what, David, if you want wrong answers, come over here. Come over here, baby. In the mall. There we go. Right, enough of the bollocks. Let's get down to it and see who's got the bollocks. Luke Moore, as luck would have it, you're going first. That's the first time ever. I campaigned against that, but the production staff said that you need to go first.

8:29Luke Moore: And then it will be David and then Vish. And that's how it works. That's the circle for this round. Round number one. I think this is a nice round to start with, if I'm honest with you. I think this is a nice round. There's 18 answers. So the 18 teams with four or more points in the league stage of the Champions League right now. 18 teams with four or more points in the league stage of the Champions League right now. Luke Moore, far away. Arsenal. David. PSG. Barcelona. Good start. Everyone's got their feet under the desk. City, Man City. Glad you clarified.

9:19Bayern Munich. Aston Villa. Nice.

9:33who's won a game gives you a best chance figure a team that's won a game would give me a chance here Sporting

9:43Luke Moore: Sporting Club de Portugal they're in there

9:49Luke Moore: Liverpool it's doing well getting through here Como there you go okay Atletico Madrid Lovely Do very well here boys Good round this Three on Madrid Of course Surprise it took that long Surprise it took that long You went to Atletico before Yeah Um

10:16Luke Moore: Feyenoord Feyenoord you say eh Fucking great Vish is out the first round Right He's out He is Yeah Over to you Luke Moore Yeah This is the tough bit

10:34Luke Moore: Oh goodness me In the words of Al Pacino Or Robert De Niro Man United Man United Come on David For the round Inter Inter I was just thinking We haven't touched Italy Yeah Luke Moore's back in Como's in Italy Vish Luke Moore's back in Oh yeah shit I knew Inter wasn't right Yeah And what I should have done He's thought of an upright answer. He's thought of an upright answer. Rather than take a piss out of Vish. I'll never learn. No. Come on. Don't fucking patronise me. With your come ons. Oh, come on. That is poor form. Club Rouge. Well played, sir. Well played, David. Dortmund. Bruce Dortmund is correct.

11:17Oh, he finally falls out of fire. Dog shit.

11:20Luke Moore: Oh, man. Love that. Okay. Five left. You did well there, getting Club Rouge. This is what happens when you don't listen to OTC. yeah I didn't listen to it this week five left um five left it's done pretty well then oh goodness me oh we're gonna need to hear from him man oh we fuck I've got nothing Porto oh dear David for the round Betis Real Betis yeah 1-0 to David well done mate well played so you did well then you did well the ones you missed and I can understand why you've missed these PSV Stuttgart Roma and Shakhtar Donetsk right you were there you saw it indeed and it is easy when you've seen them in the flesh and you have the answers in front of you I hope you've opened the Shakhtar well well done that was a good round I think that's a good solid round the thing is with the Shakhtar thing even if you knew that if you go too early it's a poor tactical mistake I fucked it up with Eric Nevland last week I had that in my locker I was really pleased I was so excited I had to have it.

12:28I just said it.

12:29Luke Moore: Yeah, but I did that with the Argentina one when I had, who's the defender? Yes. Tanly Fico? No, Ottomendi, I think I had. Whoever it was. And I thought, oh, he's a definite one. Oh, Julian Alvarez. Yeah, I'm pretty sure about that one. I was out. You see? So you've got to be careful with your tactics. But it's up to you how you play the game, of course. Well done, David. You're 1-0 up. And you're on point. David, this is genuinely not a mind game. I'm genuinely interested. Have you ever won one of these? Don't know. Don't know. He doesn't care. Pressure's on you now Easy not to care about anything Check out of all of it Just see Just turn up Let's go According to Liam Gallagher It's quite hard to give That much of a Or less of a fuck This isn't a mind game either Would your life be better With HS2?

13:14David The sun's so bad HS2 was never even going there Oh

13:18Luke Moore: That is poor I don't want to be down here So please don't build it David David has he did lose to Pete in Moabody Arm once. Yeah. So he's due a win. I simply do not believe that happened. He's due a win. He's 1-0 up. He's on point. David, over to you. Round number two. I would like the 20 clubs that have the most red cards in Premier League history. The 20 clubs that have acquired the most red cards in Premier League history. Fire away. Spurs. Tottenham Hotspur are in there. Everton. May United.

14:07Chelsea. Of course.

14:10Luke Moore: Last season alone. Arsenal. Arsenal. Liverpool. Liverpool. You see, you're getting the vibe of this now. Premier League era. David. Leeds. Leeds United. Of course they are. Newcastle United. Yeah, why not?

14:35Manchester City. Manchester City.

14:48Absolutely outrageous lack of count down here.

14:55Luke Moore: West Ham West Ham in there They are Well played Not easy under pressure Sunderland Sunderland Of course they're in there Mucky boys Dirty bastards Not many left I don't know what a reason about Aston Villa Aston Villa in there David Stoke Stoke City It's the first wrong answer Fish gets one right David's out this round Middlesbrough Middlesbrough David's out the round Okay Southampton Southampton in there They are in there I hate even saying the word in the game I make a pact to myself not to mention it This round is between Vish and Luke now How many are left? There are six answers left Fulham They're in there Well played Really good And also quick which makes it hard for me Just stay in the round

16:03Birmingham City

16:05Luke Moore: The round goes to Vish Who do we miss? The ones you miss Blackburn Rovers Bolton Wanderers Crystal Palace Leicester City and West Brom West Brom That's one of those rounds at base he might as well just be saying name the teams that have been in the Premier League the longest. Which is why it's quite a bad round. Who wrote it? George, was it you? Oh, come on. You've got to separate people somehow.

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19:24Luke Moore: So the scores are David won, Vish won, Luke, Neil Vish, you're up first. So you're moaning about that round, which was very guessable. Really, wasn't it? It was guessable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right. You want a tougher round. You want a tougher round, do you? when I looked at these I thought I'm glad I'm not doing this one oh there's going to be some groans in a couple of moments time Vish you're first all can't even get the question out all 17 Portuguese players to have scored for Wolves in a competitive in a competitive fixture 17 Portuguese players have scored for Wolves in a competitive fixture.

20:09Luke Moore: How many of them can you name? Oh, lads. I don't envy you doing this round. Vish, begin, please. Vitinha? Correct. One goal. But it's a right answer. Only one goal? That was whiskey. Jeez. Yeah. Should have held that one back. Is there any competition? In a competitive fixture. Oh. Yeah. Luke Moore. I mean, Diogo Jota? Yeah, it's an obvious one. Yep. Ruben Neves Ruben Neves well done Giamutinho Giamutinho it's just remembering the bloody names isn't it who did he say Giamutinho okay yeah Luke Moore Nelson Samedo Nelson Samedo nice

20:58Guedes Gonzalo Guedes well played well played well played

21:02Luke Moore: honestly I'd have been out ages ago I would have been out ages ago. Vish?

21:12Oh, Pedro Neto. Oh, well done. Well played.

21:18Luke Moore: One of the more obvious ones, I'd say. This is such a guess. Even though none of them are obvious. Mateus Mane? Mateus Mane's in there. Well played. I couldn't even remember if it's Portuguese or not.

21:33The agony. So who went first? Vish. Vish went first.

21:37Luke Moore: So David to stay in the round and start off another little... Another... Button the boy.

21:54I hate sometimes my kids.

21:58Luke Moore: Another Portuguese man, of course. Vish. Mateus Nunez. Mateus Nunez. Stay in the round. Trincao? No! I wrote that! Very well played. I'll give you that Francisco Trincao. That's a great shot.

22:20Oh, fucking hell. Oh, Fabio Silva.

22:24Luke Moore: Fabio Silva. That's a brilliant fucking answer. I've got nothing. Stay in the round, Luke.

22:35my god

22:49Luke Moore: repress repress repress I'm afraid not sir the only Portuguese player I can think of the round goes to Vish who was left I'm fascinated Bruno Jordão Daniel Podence. What about Podence? I didn't know he was Portuguese. Yeah. Joao Teixeira, Rodrigo Gomez, Ruben, Vinagre and Dotti. I wasn't going to get any of that. I think you did well there. Honestly, I think if I had, yeah, there was like Jota, Semedo, do you know what I mean? Well done. Good round. It was a really good question, by the way. Yeah, finally. I couldn't remember Trincao what was Trincao's first name? Francisco so the conversation we had at the start of the show about you wanting to keep Eric Nevely in the pocket I thought that was Trincao that's the only one I had left written down he ripped it from me I'm still fucking pointless you're up first and there's some guessable ones in this expand your minds if you can remember the top 20 goal scorers for Real Madrid in the Champions League era.

23:59Luke Moore: This is only the Champions League era, not the European Cup, not in Europe, the Champions League specifically. Now, they've not been in the Europa League, so don't worry about all that bollocks. But I don't want any of you Alfredo Di Stefano or friends, Pushkash, bollocks. Champions League era. Top 20 players who have scored goals for Real Madrid in the Champions League. Luke Moore, fire away. Cristiano Ronaldo. Let me just see. I know I've read his CV. There you go. Davide Raul yep Ronaldo Nazario yeah nice Zinedine Zidane Vinnie Junior Fernando Morientes

24:47I'm up against it here this is David right in David's sweet spot isn't it

25:03Roberto Carlos

25:11Fernando Hierro Fernando Hierro What? No way Surely not That's an outrageous guess. He took pens, he took three gigs. Probably too clever.

25:24Luke Moore: I'm surprised he said that. Okay, Vish. I mean, get this wrong, it's looped round. I cannot believe I've beaten Cartlidge at this round. Rude Van Nistelrooy. Obviously. He was the other one I had. You went, here, I have a Van Nistelrooy. This is what the game does to you. It's easy when you've got the answers in front of you. I have made worse mistakes than that, David. so if Vish wins this round he's won hasn't he he has yes he better win it and you've won none I know come on there's big names in here very guessable come on Vish just let him end with honestly oh god come on Kylian Mbappe yes of course I was worried someone had said him because I was like oh shit right Vish Luis Figo Luis Figo David Beckham no not D-Bek Vish Are you surprised by that?

26:16No. They score so many Champions League goals. Real Madrid, yeah.

26:22Luke Moore: I wonder if he's close. But with some of the... Yeah, it's slightly... Doesn't matter, does it? Doesn't matter. I understand why you do it. Come on, Vish. I don't think Beckham was as prolific a Champions League goal scorer. There we go. Sergio Ramos? Sergio Ramos. Medusa Nehantaraga wins! Bit of flair at the end as well. Yeah. Bit of flair.

26:46Luke Moore: Down and out, Vichy wins Vichy's the winner Could have had Gareth Bale Gareth Bale? Could have had Gooty Oh, I thought about Gooty I thought, no, he didn't score that many Could have had Ivan Helguera Oh, right, fair play, fair play, man So I wrote down Helguera just then Because I was like Because I thought Hierro And then when you talked about penalties I was like, okay But then he played You were thinking of longevity as well Because they were always in the Champions League could have had Jude Bellingham oh really that's interesting Karim Benzema oh wow what a miss so basically Marcelo Marco Asensio Rodrigo and Savio Asensio so I don't think the threshold's very high well apparently Beckham only got two goals for Real Madrid in the Champions League but how many do you need to be on the list George yeah I mean that's the that's the question Beckham of course Savio you remember that that lovely free that's what was probably tipping me over yeah exactly yeah is Savio that he was at that list.

27:45Sorry, how much you need to be? Yeah, yeah, Savio Bartoloni or something. How much you need to be on the list? Nine or more. Nine or more? Nine or more. She's got that many. Well, yeah, fine.

27:52Luke Moore: Yeah. Yeah. Mind you, I suppose if you knew it was nine, would you have gone for Beckham? No. Yeah. Certainly wouldn't have gone for Ivan Hill. Yeah, and I reckon nine would have got one of us against Bellingham. Yeah. Probably. Possibly. All right, should we do the final one? Let's do the final one, because goal difference matters, And I need a point. David, you can go first on this one, because it's your turn. oh dear I think Vish will be quite pleased he got his he got all that out of the way when he hears this one although Vish is usually quite good on these the 27 players round 5 the 27 players who played during the Battle of the Bridge in 2015-16 oh that's a lovely one between Chelsea and Spurs and this of course what was the year again 2015-16 2015-16 and this includes players who came on of course hence it's 27 players and not 22 so the players who came on but not the squads those who were on the field of play at some point during the game that Chelsea and Spurs played out at the end of the 2015-16 season, of course.

28:53Luke Moore: Dubbed the battle of the bridge. David, you're up first, old boy. Eric Dier. Eric Dier. Yeah. Who could forget? The protagonist. Vish. Aidan Hazard. Scored a goal, of course. Harry Kane. Absolutely.

29:17N 'Golo Kante.

29:23Can't have been because he was playing for Leicester that season. Yeah.

29:26Luke Moore: He was signed the season after. I'm shocking at this. You've got a round though. You've got a round. There's no way I'm beating Vish at this. No way. Diego Costa. Diego Costa. Diego Costa. Cesc. Surname, please. Fabregas. Right. Hugo Lloris. Hugo.

29:51Jan Vertonghen. Willian. Willian. Good round, don't you?

30:01Luke Moore: Ben Davis. Benny Boy. Moussa Dembele. Oh, Moussa Dembele.

30:15Dele Alli

30:20Luke Moore: I'm surprised at that I'm surprised at that I'm surprised he didn't say John Terry It's nice to forget about him Exactly He'll call up a rodeo station I feel like I really So I can picture that Spurs kit And so I had really Row one of Nasser Chadley Nasser Chadli was in there he was a player so Asmir Begovic Branslava Vanovic Christian Eriksen Cesar Azbelicueta Danny Rose Eric Lamella Gary Cahill John Terry Karl Walker John Obi McHale Nasser Chadli as you said Nemanja Matic Oscar Pedro Ryan Mason Son Hyun Min Son and you said Jan Vertonghen I thought you were going to say Toby but again easy when you have the answers in front of you I wondered if Aldovar had gone by then but obviously not also sometimes in those ones I feel like one time there was a peak era Manchester United one of these types of questions and I think you guessed Paul Scholes and it was wrong because he happened to be suspended the worst one was it was individual games it was a Chelsea game from about 2008 and you went Lampard and Lampard didn't play I was just like are you taking the piss famously injury free Frank Lampard the one game he missed for them so there we are thumping victory for old Vish four to Vish David got a consolation as it turned out Luke Moore got a big fat zero Goose eggs Goose eggs Just the one goose egg though Yeah one goose egg Yeah yeah yeah Shame for you Luke How are you feeling after that Yeah bad Pretty bad yeah You should see the way little Luke's looking at you there Yeah He's ashamed He's actually staring right at me Yeah Horrible Can't take his eyes off of you Thank you for listening to The Football Ramble Part of the Acast Creator Network Vish has asked that you all subscribe on YouTube Spotify Apple or wherever you get your podcasts and if you want to suggest a theme for Jack's Encyclopedia get in touch on socials at Football Ramble or email us show at footballramble.com and DM all of us you know so just so we can let them know I'm worried that since I beat little Luke I've not won is it cursed?

32:21I don't think curses everything so I think it might be a curse oh no

32:26Luke Moore: well the good news is Luke that it is Friday the weekend has landed and Vish has requested that everybody listen to Pitbull yeah he's always doing that get your Pitbull on everybody da da da da da da da da da Copyright? Yeah. I was so accurate. I thought that meant it. Have a lovely weekend, everybody. Cheers, guys. We'll see you on Monday, 9.30 on YouTube Live at the Football Ramble YouTube page. Get involved.

32:59The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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