Jack's Encyclopaedia: The Ashes Decider

0:01Every player with more than 115 Champions League appearances since the start of the 95-96 season. and there are some massive, massive names in here. It's right up your street this morning. You are first, yes. Lionel Messi. Lionel Messi. I don't even need to have a look at that. Of course that's in there. I'm going to go the Casemiro. Oh, you're going to fall on your sword. Oh, mate. Philip Lam. Incredibly not. Oh, my God. It's a whitewash from this. This is all my nightmares coming at once. Dean Smith also says we're an encyclopedia of football. A what? An encyclopedia of football. I don't know what that means.

0:42Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Jack's Encyclopedia. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm with Ushina Hunter-Raja.

0:55Jack's Encyclopedia. He is going to give you the game.

1:05Pedia. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Jackson Cyclopaedia. Pedia. Inside. Oh, here we go. Here we go. I've had the sheer gall to turn up again and have another go. Oh, dear. Luke's running scared. He is, yeah. Vish is after the belt. He wants to take to Australia. We've had to draft him. Jim, to stop you. Yeah, exactly. And last time I actually played in the game, I was also part of a 5-0 drubbing. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it's easy picking for Vish. So we are going to have to cheat, you know. Yeah. Have you got like a suitcase just for the belt that you're going to be taking to? No, no. I was going to basically wrap my clothes around it to protect it.

1:41Like EasyJet. Yeah, exactly. I was actually going to wear it so it wouldn't weigh down my luggage. I mean, when you go through security, if you wear it, it may set the alarm off. As soon as you show it, they'll go, oh, let him through. Let him through. Just scan him. Yeah. I mean, the belt's not real metal, is it? Some of it's made of chocolate. But only some of it. You've got to be very careful. now before we get into today's game just a quick reminder to vote for us as best football podcast in the Football Supporters Association Awards we'd love you if you did because the slugs that we're coming up against have really upped their game this week and are coming for this crown right here that's covered in graffiti and piss so we need you to play your part and give us your vote right now the link is in the description on this episode please vote we would bloody love it if you did I would deserve it as well every one of these that we do I feel like fewer and fewer people vote for us and probably think you know what I'm not listening to this again I've been circling a drain for a while and I'm just going to jump down it now and listen to something else that's fair there we go we didn't win the Eversage but we could do it with your help yes well we can only do it with your help of course so do vote for us we would love that dearly now of course last week Luke lost the Jackson Encyclopedia belt to Vish and as previously mentioned Vish is off to Australia soon to cover the ashes to help England try and bring that trophy home.

3:07But he wants to take a sort of trophy of his own out there, of course, in the form of the Jackson Encyclopedias belt. Jim and I are trying to stop him. Pete will be on the buttons, but Pete will be impartial. Yeah, look, you can wink all your leg, Marcus, but I find hosting these games so stressful. I don't have the capacity for bungs, for bribes. I just don't have that in me. So in many ways I'm a useful idiot On this game I love those coppers Back then You also thought In 2023 When I was covering The ashes In England That I was in South Africa Covering the ashes Yeah I just wondered Well it's the same time zone I wondered why you Text me your memes At 2am Turns out you're just Out and about It's the same time zone As here though Pretty much That was my point Alright then I was just telling you You should have an late night If you If you don't know The rules They're super simple it's a game of categories I'll give you a category then we'll go around each of you to see if you can give me a valid answer and if you go too slow I'll be pressing a countdown timer which will only leave you five seconds to answer most of my weekend was me fielding abuse about removing the Gary Neville from a lot of these games so really?

4:17yeah it's just the way that's progress baby that's the way it goes people thought that Gary Neville himself had been in touch yeah he'd gotten to us somehow which obviously if that were the case we'd know because Gary Neville does not have an unhaired thought I imagine it would have gone remember when that little boy had his phone number you fucking listen to me you don't ever fucking call this should up be fucking dick it was Fizzer the great thing about that call very quickly was the guy the kid calling said he got his number from Tony Adams' son and Neville goes who the fuck is Tony Adams? brilliant that's nice why would have Neville had a problem with that It's not defamation of character or anything.

5:02Well, just bonf some, I suppose. He said, I'm going to sue you for a billion dollars. Yeah, exactly. Shall we kick off? Why not? I'm going to start with you, Jim. Go on, Jimbo. That's all right. Nice and easy. Every team that has qualified for the 2026 World Cup. So far. So far. England. Yes. France. There's another one. Got a new correct button as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uzbekistan. They're in there. I suddenly thought, I forgot what the stout broke! Jordan. Jordan. Portugal. Oh,

5:48Vichon. Wow. That's why Chrissie was so annoyed. Yeah. Marcus. Australia. They're in there. Spain. Oh, God. I had one I knew as well, but I thought I'll save it. Never save it. No, that's the rule on this, isn't it? It was Ivory Coast. Well, I mean, you've given me an answer there, Jim, but there are so many answers I should have. What a gentleman. Yeah, I'm going to go for a team that we all love to see at the World Cup, Colombia. What is Spain doing? What is Spain doing? I cannot believe, because on the show, you're saying that England and France are the only qualifiers. So far. I'm sure I said England.

6:22From Europe. No, Jim was started with England. Oh, right, there you go. They're in there. I can't believe I've been giving a round there, Jim. I thought you were going to go with your favourite Ghana, because I remember that immediately after getting mine wrong. How soon we forget Cape Verde's exploits. Algeria, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Cape Verde, as I said, Ecuador, Egypt, Ghana, Iran, Ivory Coast, Japan, Mexico, Morocco, New Zealand, Paraguay, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, South Africa, South Korea, Tunisia, the United States, and Uruguay. So yes. One or two options there. I can't believe I've been giving it around there.

6:56I'm very happy. It's not a whitewash. It's not a whitewash. Yes. It's not a vish whitewash. Exactly. It could be a re-whitewash. I am not a vish. I said the other day, by the way, before we go to the ashes, there was a lot of chat on a particular group. I'm on some people I know do know about cricket other than you. Right. And I just said, as long as it's not hammering, I don't mind. And that's the winning mentality. As you mentioned before, no Gary Neville anymore. The orgasm has come to its end, so to speak. He finally. The denouement. he finally got over the line the cliches come to an end we're now looking for more clips please if you've got a clip that you are loving at this moment in time give us your suggestions get in touch via the email shortfootballramble.com or if you're a friend of the Ramble you can send us suggestions over on the Discord and they will of course take priority unless they're very offensive or sexual in content you've made that sound like it's a challenge I just want to make it clear that it is it's what I want it's what I want right every player can you hoodwink us Vish Every player Vish That has scored Four or more goals In the European qualifiers For the 2026 World Cup Every player That has scored Four or more goals In the European qualifiers For the 2026 World Cup Harry Kane Bing Erling Haaland Erling Haaland Yes He's had a good Qualifying campaign I'll go for Kylian Mbappe Ooh KM Rasmus Hoyland It's certainly not that easy No it's not Four goals or more Years Years Years Well he got a couple last night I'm not confident about this Soloth The Norwegian player He did I did Soloth Well done Be more bold Be more confident I should be Be this confident Spanish goal machine Michael Moreno Ah, good one.

8:54Yes, good. This is not easy. It's really not.

9:02Arnautovic.

9:07He did. Mark Arnautovic. Nicely done. He's in there. Very, very good. I'm not confident with this, but surely Cristiano Ronaldo. I say not confident and then surely. Yeah. Yeah, I'm wired to say that. there yeah um not confident but surely yeah it's a really really tricky one this um god i love this clock sound sometimes maybe good sometimes flow inverse obviously not a lot more buttons to deal with at this moment in time so i'm glad i got the right one there uh right fish um

9:53um uh school in wales um kevin de bruyne to be fair i don't care correct well done just a reminder that uh with the new system you have to get there you have to get in there before the uh the start of the little humorous clip okay a few names I'm not confident with any But he normally Is He's been injured Who do I go for He's always among the girls Romelu Lukaku I'm so sorry I had He scored last night didn't he I had Eketike But has he got four No he hasn't no Scott McTominay He's not in there I've only got seven goals, Scott. Don't say Robert Lewandowski. Oh, is he? No, he's not in there either.

10:44No, I wasn't sure. I stayed away from it. I wasn't. Yeah, I mean, there's some household names in there, but, you know. Go on, who should we have got? You could have had Mitrovic. Ah, my man. You could have had Andrik Kramaric. You could have had Barnabas Varga. You could have had Edin Dzeko. You could have had Gudmundson. You could have had Matteo Rategui. You could have had Memphis Depay. You could have had Moise Kane. You could have had Patrick Schick. Or you could have had Thilo Asgard. A lot of those feel like names from two years ago. That wasn't the easiest. There's some tricky ones. You went to get old Patrick Schick, but you don't know.

11:15Man United's God player. It just sounds... Everyone sounded like a Man United's God player there for me. Marcus. The champ needed that one. The champ needed that one. He got it. Saved by Hoyland. One all on this one between Marcus and Vich.

11:34You're going to be doing this one. The third round, Marcus. France's starting 11 and substitutes in their 2-1 win against England in the 2022 World Cup quarterfinals France's starting 11 and subs in their 2-1 win against England in the World Cup quarterfinals in 2022 three short years ago Hugo Lloris Hugo Lloris is in there Kylian Mbappe Kovac Chouamini there we go Antoine Griezmann Yes. Not easy. Years ago. Upamecano? Upamecano? Oh, yeah, good one. Correct. Olivier Giroud. He's in there. You've got the winner.

12:27I can't think of his bloody name. I'll go for Kola Mawani, but I'm not confident with that one. Could be a ball dropped here. Marcus. He's in there. Ousmane Dembele?

12:44Benjamin Pavard? I like it. He had a big timer. I can't remember his boss.

12:57Tio Hernandez? Have I mixed two players there? No. I think that's right. Yay! So was this subs that appeared or subs are also on the bench? Just subs. Subs doing their subbing business. There's 24 of them. That would be a concussion protocol too far. Lucas Hernandez. I believe was in that squad. Lucas. One stretch hand, Sam Stringing. Jim's throwing the game away. Rabiot. Julie. Yes. Oh, blimey. Is Mike Magnon one of the sub-keepers? Oh, I like it. I like it. He might not have been that. I like it, but it's wrong. Bish, you've got to get one. Bish looks annoyed. He's thinking, surely you've put more of a challenge up than this.

13:50I mean, yeah, Saliba. Ooh. Oh, the belt's looking good. It took him ages to come in, didn't it? The belt's coming closer, isn't it? I can't believe Mike Magnon wasn't. Sorry, did you just say Trevor Saliba? I heard him say Trevor Saliba. Did you, Marcus? Because that's not the same player. You could have had Kamavinga, you could have had De Sassi, you could have had Canate, you could have had Jules Condé, you could have had Kingsley Cormann, you could have had Marcus Turam, Guendouzi, Varane, Mandanda, and Yusuf Fafana. Ah, Mandanda. It's so much easier when someone tells you the answers. I don't know Sorry Vish Who was the other keeper?

14:30Mandanda Oh yeah You're quite right Ariana Ariana Ariana what? Yeah There we go Blimey Wow It's a big point for Vish It is I immediately think of the The miss Well I thought Yeah but when you say it I think Oh did he come on But of course it was just The full spot The miss in the final Jim's not putting up a fight But Vish is 2-1 Head against Marcus At this point in time It's good work Look I can hear that I can hear the person Behind the desk Heathrow Terminal 5 saying come on well done you're going to have to pay a bit more money to put this in your luggage if I win this I think England will win the ashes oh clip that what time is it do you know what 19 minutes and 19 seconds on the audition record Tom that will soften the blow because I if I lose if I lose I can get behind it nice okay he knows me well alright then Round number four Jim Hello Every manager to oversee at least 300 Premier League games So I'm going to go with Alex Ferguson He just about got there I think Yeah Vish I'm going to go with Arsene Wenger Yes I'm going to Did Sam Allardyce He did You sound this crap yourself don't you David Moyes David Moyes I'm surprised there's only 19 Yeah that is That seemed low Jürgen Klopp surely yes okay Harry Harry Redknapp Harry Harry Redknapp okay 300 games you say in the Premier League George Graham ooh fuck off we managed Spurs and Leeds as well the Prince a lot of them are pre-Premier League yeah but not that many no not that many It's a good show, but I mean it's mad that you dropped that one.

16:29Jose Mourinho? Oh, surely. This game! Gets you in your head, doesn't it, Jim? It does. No, your head falls out of your head. That's the problem. For me, anyway. Surround your head. Roy Hodgson. Surely. That's a good one. Why? Um… Probably… Wow.

16:55Tony Pulis I think you got in there Tony Pulis Tony Pulis Correct Rafa Benitez I had him and I didn't say him

17:11I think I'm going to go for Alan Kerbishly Yes Lovely one How many do you have left 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 8, 8 Number 8 Number 8

17:29Brendan Rogers? Yay! That must be quite close Alan Pardew Oh yeah Yes Yeah very good He's good at this isn't he Vish? Mark Hughes? Ooh Nice That's a lovely one Well done Steve Bruce surely yeah he's in there isn't he Bacon is it yes good round there's a bit of a punt this are you Eddie Howe I was surprised at this yeah that's outstanding Andy Cole outstanding how many have we got left we've got one two three three left

18:18I think I'm done you know. Sometimes my kids. You are done. Do I have to get one? You do have to get one, yes. Pep Guardiola? Yes! Oh my days! We're going five rounds! But you know what, I had him written down, and I thought, what are we doing? But it was a thousand games as manager, and I'm thinking, he was at Barcelona at Bayern, was that enough to get him? But he's been at a City Wave a long time. So who have we missed? You missed Sean Daesh. Daesh! And Martin O 'Neill Oh Martin O 'Neill Okay I got in a Weird headspace Of thinking about Former Manchester United players Which is why I got Bruce And then I was like But Bruce was a really obvious one When you said Yeah okay I'll tell you what Jim George Graham Managed 290 games Oh George Sick man George Absolute sick man Oh George I thought I was done With Eddie Hale No yeah How many did you have Because Bournemouth His stint at Bournemouth Is what tops that up right I don't have the numbers but yeah Jim you unfortunately can't get there so we're going to be freezing you out under the new rules

19:25can you turn that light off at the next time you're out it's neck and neck Vish and Marcus this one's for the win it's tense I'm trying people in it tense I'm really trying this is for the people of Speller-Rose he's exhausted he's been rope-a-dupped throughout the five rounds this is it and he's just slugging away This is 2-2 at the SCG. Here we go. Here we go. Can it be rained off? I'll take the tea. Almost certainly the rain off of Sydney. Get that man some tea. Right. Start with you, Vish. The last 16. The last 16 permanent Swansea City managers. Oh, bloody hell. Why?

20:12What have you got against Swans, Vish? Yeah. The last 16 permanent Swansea City managers Let's have them Gary Monk Oh nice Yes 2017 to 2018 I'll have Brendan Rodgers You can have him Two years In the tens

20:34Paul Clamont Good one I like it Michael Laudrup Yep

20:49Carlos Carvajal oh well done beautiful one solitary year but wasn't it well done rubbish can we go this far back oh Sosa it's Paolo Sosa the ting-tings are on the radio and Paolo Sosa was in the dugout oh Marcus I'm done now Don't tell him that I'm not done

21:20I've got nothing I hate sometimes my kids Can I win this with Graham Potter? Oh I think you have Yeah

21:36Come on That's staying in England The belt is staying in England! Bloody hell. Wow! I had to work for that. You really did. Graham Potter, yeah. Oh god. By the way, Swansea City managers. What are they doing? The production team. That is a fucking disgrace. Outrageous. I'd love to tell you what the tiebreaker is. The look on both of their faces. Just the way he looked at producer Tom and just went, why? It's an international week. Outrageous. Bloody hell. I hope you're happy. England aren't winning the ashes now. he did that he's going to come back upset and confused do you know what when I had great part I was like get that time I can win this what did we miss?

22:19you missed Alan Sheehan who obviously got sacked this week I couldn't remember I was thinking someone got sacked this week Bob motherfucking Bradley Michael Doff, Roberto Martinez Russell Martin, Steve Cooper Kenny Jacket, Luke Williams and Guedalin so some guessable ones I forgot Kenny Jacket and Steve Cooper Bob Bradley should have been Bob Bradley and then Russell Martin I'd forgotten about who was the other one sorry did you say oh I've gone to the BBC website now thought the game's finished have I been cancelled yet Reece decided against raising income tax rates oh dear my goodness well there we are sir thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble Party I'm never coming back that is an absolute Swansea I had the same question and you went first no you didn't oh dear we'll be back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts and do vote for us for the FSAs have a lovely weekend it's my choice and it's Don't Stop the Party by Pitbull off you go to Australia big boy yeah yeah how many hours on that flight that's what that's what's written around his head Pitbull not stopping the party.

23:34It's about 14 hours into Singapore. It's pitbull. KL Airport wandering around. Oh, I love it.

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