Leaving on Sunday Morning

0:00I'm through with standing in line to clubs I'll never get in everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Vita Pereira's Golden West Ham won at home. It's Monday, 3rd of November. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

0:24Hello, everybody. Happy Monday, as requested by Luke and Pete. A little bit of nickelback to start the show. Incorrect. We asked for the Eagles. no it's worse than that he gave us the option of the Eagles or Nickelback we didn't want either we didn't want either but we said if we're going to choose we'll have Glenn Frey's outfit and he'd given us at the last minute he's ducked out of it that's one all for the time you said on national radio oh I've got a little text from Marcus Speller here don't worry we'll get some Nickelback on for you later fella yeah you should have you should have which was a lovely dig Marcus one all yeah that was great just leave me out of it all I'll say is that we all want to be a rock star, but we also hope you had a good Halloween.

1:05The last time I saw you, Pete Donaldson, you were walking out of here dressed up as Chad Kroger or Edward Scissorhands. Very similar. Yeah. But what did you get up to, or should we not ask? You scissory bastard. Well, I moved to a remote village and went out with a girl younger than me and enchanted an entire village with my pet cutting skills. I can't stress enough, he is talking about Edward Scissorhands not the bloke who played him people think that Pete likes Edward Scissorhands but he actually he's just really into Johnny Depp a lot of times he's dressed as Jack Sparrow you go to a lot of events dressed as Jack Sparrow all of him Edward I tried Edward Edward what a shout he could have had Hunter S Thompson could have had a lot of options there there's always next year there's always next year if you would like to give us a treat here at the Football Ramble we would absolutely love it if you could leave a five star review on your favourite podcast app.

2:00It's cheaper and easier than buying sweets. Healthier, I would say. And it goes a long way towards new people finding the show and joining the Ramble community. And if you do get your friends in and say, I'm not listening to that, and they get involved and they love it, you can always say, ha ha, told you so. What a gift. Which is what life is all about. Having the last laugh is what this show's all about. Getting on over on loved ones. Leave a five star review now and we will love you forever. Thank you so much. Right, let's talk about the Premier League. There's been a sacking. Fulham three, Wolverhampton Wanderers nil.

2:33A run sacking by Fulham. Fulham have seen off another manager. They have. Yes, they have. It's like the ownership at Wolves said, we're put up with a lot, but we are not putting up with Harry Wolves and having the freedom of the park all afternoon. He had a lovely time, didn't he? He did. I love that Le Fervis. It's a beautiful Le Fervis. On days like this specifically, rather than the other matches this season. Brentford scored a lovely one. I want to hear more from Peter. Is he the natural heir to Tom Kearney's left foot? I thought you were going to say Gareth Bale. Could Tom Kearney get the little crown off of his big toe and put it on to Harry Wilson's left foot?

3:06No, Kearney's still there. Kearney came on, much as I was requesting, as always. But Tom Kearney could be like the Queen Mother, couldn't he? Oh, I like that. He comes to certain events or functions. Yeah, exactly, exactly. He goes to functions and events. Doused in gin. Very much an important part of the overall oeuvre of the monarchy. But no gambling. yeah and he's not he's not a working royal yes come on probably shouldn't talk about working royals this week after all this happened in the last week or so there's been another second no that's more of a stripping right and I appreciate that it's quite a loaded statement double meaning yeah he was up for that his work his work up for that the stripping I hit yes very much up for it no no no not that not that right good news Andrew we've got a stripping on the way alright fine alright let me just go wash up what do you want to be known as oh one of those ones no just oh dear if you no I've already done that Fulham 3 Wolves 0 yes where were we Vitor Pereira he's been sacked yeah Sunday morning yeah I mean well I mean he sounded so defeated after the game yeah and then he said he said first the P45 and then the Pints he said you know it sounds funny but I just can't stand the pain boy I'm leaving here tomorrow perfect that's a perfect post match I'm getting sacked in the morning I'm leaving here tomorrow Marcus don't say what you're about to say spend some time thinking about enjoying the Commodores if anyone was going to do that it could have been him doubtful doubtful you saw the way it was at the end of the last game he's not going to be now I've got a three year deal last month what's going on read the small print he's not even that small yeah he's failed to win any of their 10 games this season and that's why he's easy like a Sunday or a Monday morning I mean if you're Vita Pereira you'd have just stayed in London wouldn't you?

5:03What do you mean for any of the London castings? No just have a nice weekend in the capital have a nice weekend in the capital I think so that's probably fair enough the equivalent of we really respect a footballer who quite clearly is about to be shown a straight red and walks before the red that's Vita Pereira don't get back on the bus just stay in London enjoy the M &M museum whatever it's called the M &M shop it's been a pleasure working with you I'll clear out my desk on Monday but I'm as you say I'm off to M &M world I'm off to M &M world I'm just a bit distracted is it a museum? it's a museum to the general M &M product it's a gift shop and museum what's that over there it's the first ever M &M yeah it would look exactly the same as all you get one of those talking maps in your ear Bill Bryson does it does he?

5:47oh lovely how does Bill Bryson talk? he's an Aussie but he's lived here for a while. No, he's American. Oh, he's American. He's from the Midwest, isn't he? Well, can you do an impression of him talking about how sexy the green M &M is? Not really, no. I love a green M &M, mate. She's got lovely hats. That was like having him in the room. That was unbelievable. A lovely thigh-high boots on. I would very much like to kiss the green M &M. Yeehaw! I say, I'm Bill Bryson, sir. Anyway, why are we... Yeah, wolves. Welcome to M &M world. There you go, Gary. There you go, Gary O 'Neill. There's your intro to your new posting.

6:25That's a lovely little curveball, that. That's a lovely little curveball. Did you see, I didn't see this. Roy the boy Hodgson was at the game, and I thought, hmm. He was 78 years old, no way. That's only half the story as well. He was sat next to him in shorts. Of course. Big Ray. Yeah, absolutely. He was unwrapping him Werther's. Yeah. Big Ray. I love that. Roy Hodgson's old enough to have the Werther's now. Yeah. He's been old enough for a while. I think it's 70 plus. I think it's 70 plus. 65 I reckon 65 retirement age 67 there we are sorted it anyway Wolves are managerless right now I tell you what though we will don't worry Luke we'll get onto this in a minute I he was sacked on the Sunday Will still lose his job he's been leaked I tell you what that's like that's like decades ago you know when people would leave school on the Friday at like 8 or 8 or whatever yeah Monday you're in work I was like imagine that sacked on the Sunday walks into the job on a Monday that would have been sensational having been fired from the division below for being terrible as well the thing is what they say about Will Steele if we get Will Steele he knows the championship not really well he knows it more now not really I mean I'm glad that Vita Pereira had a stint in the Premier League same because he really wanted it he's done his dog he's elsewhere not as many fights as we were hoping for no nearly last week do you know what though all joking aside he really was defeated and he had a really sad quote I think this was after the Burnley game when he said when I go home I'm so sad I won't talk to my wife because I'm so sad it was like aww well I mean some pep about it the only way he's like pep yeah true but you saw how far he was after the game the home game against Burnley where they lost you know injury time winner from Burnley and I think he's trying to fight the good fight and I just got the impression here when he said it was just all wrong it was a terrible performance he even went tactically it was all over the place that was a man who was defeated he knew and I think maybe that was the moment where he truly kind of realised the absolute state of things at Wolverhampton Wanderers at the moment.

8:21It's a slow decline. It's a slow decline. And when I say that, I would imagine if you're a manager, as he showed when he came in, was it last December, you come and you go, I can improve this. And he did. And they survived. They won about six games in a row in April, didn't they? Yeah, they tailed off after April. I think they haven't won a game in the Prem for a while. But he did enough. Yeah, but he showed that he could improve things and he's thinking, right, let's get a decent summer in. someone was dreadful for them. Absolutely dreadful. You sell your best player. I mean, okay, they kept hold of Strand Larson, but come on.

8:51I mean, he was given the purse strings and this is what's happened. No, you can't say that, Peter. He was. They've sold their best players. Yeah, fine, but they were always going to move from a position of where wolves are. They were always going to move, weren't they? Strand Larson nearly made it out of the door. They've got enough up top to be better than they were. Possibly. He got a lot of players in on his own design and from what I can tell, like he had control of the transfers and this is what some might have to be saying for themselves that's what I'm saying a lot of the Wolves fans will say that it is all to do with the ownership here the Fosin or Fosin group the chairman Jeff Shee has to take a lot of the blame for this because they've sold a lot they've not refreshed or brought anybody in of the kind of calibre they need as you say Luke it's been a slow decline yeah you lose Matthias Kynia Ryan Alt-Nuri and Nelson Samedo went at the end of his contract.

9:45If you're going to fall down between the two stools between you guys, you'd say maybe the players they've brought in haven't showed perhaps what they're capable of yet or they certainly haven't been at the level that those other players were at. And everyone can take some of the blame here. You look at... There's a great truth to what Pete's saying, chiefly because of the on-pitch stuff. Yeah, of course. Pereira, yeah, fine. Pereira made more changes than any other manager in the league this season. it's something like 31 changes in 10 games. But he was scrapping around big time for ideas. That Burnley result was a heartbreaker.

10:23But against Fulham, they just looked absolutely abject. And obviously that ridiculous sending off doesn't help either. I mean, it's just so clumsy. It's ridiculous, really. And no team has survived in the Premier League after such a bad start. So the writing was on the wall, wasn't it? But I think all these things in the mix can be the case. It's definitely a case that the fans believe that it's a slow decline. There's not been the investment in kind of all areas of the club and they need someone better than Jeff Sheet atop the club who can run it more coherently. But, you know... I think that's a kind way of putting it.

10:56I think the overwhelming feeling from the Wolves fans you see it is they are thoroughly pissed off with the ownership and the chairman, Jeff Sheet. Yeah, there was a guy... Yeah, I've just said that. I've just said they should give someone better than Jeff Sheet to come in and run the club better. But to say... But there was a Wolves fan on Sky Sports News over the weekend who was absolutely scathing in his assessment of what's going on there and he would know much better than me. The bad thing, the even worse thing, I suppose, is who they can get in to take the job on. Well, people are linking Brendan Rodgers as if.

11:28Yeah, I thought that. As if he's going to go there. Eric Ten Hag's in there. Well, to be fair. Do you know what they should have done, possibly? Maybe this is a terrible shout and Wolves fans can tell me if it is. But I kind of felt like if they were going to do this if they were going to give Pereira the bullet anyway should have done it when Nuno was available they love Nuno down there and he might have had a bit of sentimentality about it he might have gone okay I'd love to save him I'd love to save him well maybe they did sell him out you don't know although I wouldn't put it past this ownership to kind of go oh I didn't think of that but I mean I think that it has been a slow decline I mean you mentioned perhaps Gary O 'Neill's name was mentioned a minute ago but he got binned off them before indeed but we were all worried that summer where they didn't recruit really or the recruitment wasn't great and then he managed to do okay and then it goes south and then he gets binned off and then obviously Pereira comes in and that just seems to be with Wolves in these last few seasons or however long it's been it's just we'll just do it now we'll just keep the heads bobbing above water and you think what are you doing this for?

12:26This ownership group are you doing this? Is this a little play thing? Are you stripping the club of assets? What is going on here? Because you're clearly not looking after that team. The players they've signed as well are basically a who's who of just players that are trivia questions for a section of the psychopedia. But they're just throwing enough muck at the wall and seeing what sticks. And you would imagine, Wolves have established themselves in recent times as a Premier League side. And for a club, obviously, rich history, Wolverhampton Wanderers, a very storied club. But in the sort of 21st century, they weren't the first, certainly at the turn of the century, they weren't the first team you thought of.

13:01They were always the kind of underachiever. How come they've never got promoted? Sleeping giant and all that. Yeah, exactly. But they're also... They came up with Pompey in 2003. Yeah, and then they went. But for the size of that club, there's a lot of clubs that kind of size with that kind of tradition and all, which can sometimes spend a bit of time in the championship, as they know, even drop down to League One or worse. And so to establish yourself as a Premier League club, that's a very, very impressive thing. Very easy over the last four or five seasons, though, because of the way that championship teams have conducted their business as they're coming up.

13:33The last two seasons in particular, yes, they were helped by that as a number of sides were. but it's just so frustrating to see that just slowly fade away and little being done at the top of the club. Whoever takes that job, I mean, I don't think necessarily they're on a hiding to nothing. I don't think it's like trying to find someone to take the Southampton job when Juric took it, when you just thought, well, any experience will do kind of thing. I think there is enough time in the season to maybe turn this around. But my goodness, this is like trying to turn around a flipping ocean liner in a little harbour.

14:14You know, it's mentally difficult. It is a sad story as well, because obviously when they came up, they were excellent. They came seventh in their first season. Some of the players that have come through there, you know, Raul Jimenez, Pedro Neto, Daniel Podence, Mateus Cunha. They had a really good thing going, right? And it has been a kind of decline over the last couple of years. I think Pete you're spot on to say last two years, they've found it kind of easy enough because the other teams that have come up have been so poor. But let's not forget, you know, they finished, I've got the list of their finishes in front of me here, 7th, 13th, 10th, 13th, 14th, and then 16th last season.

14:51So they're on the decline because of the reason that you've already stated. But they have been a bit of a, they've given us some really interesting moments, some good times. That first season that happened at Premier League, which caused the COVID season, so it's tricky, but to kind of remember it that well. but they were really good. Well, you think about two of the Fulham players that played against them, Adama Troo and Raul Jimenez. We first saw them really in the Premier League there and they must have been thinking, blimey lads, I do feel sorry for you. I mean, at the end of the game... Jimenez was absolutely superb in that first season.

15:19Yeah, but at the end of the game, Jimenez went over and gave him a little clap. Hardly any of the Wolves players went over. I think just tails between the legs. A couple of them did because the fans were fierce. Because the week before they almost had a bust up. Well, indeed, yeah. They probably thought, well, maybe we're best off just skating after this. I'm not going there that lot. I mean, I get it. They'll shout at me in a cup. Well, they'll take a cup, aren't they? But a couple of them went over and their fans actually applauded them and kind of appreciated that. But they were poor. I mean, when Fulham were a goal up and then Wolves went down to 10, I remember thinking, lads, if you don't get three points today.

15:51This ends up a last-minute 1-0. Then I will say, Marcus Silva, thank you very much for your service to the club, but you deserve better than this and we'll go to the Championship now. And unfortunately, it did sort of open up enough for Harry Wilson to curl and a lovely one. but I mean this is the thing with Wolves at the moment when Fulham you know I sort of joked and said oh I remember when Wolves came and battered Fulham 4-1 last season at the Cottage well Mateus Cunha scores two worldies that day because he can big difference they had nothing really to the point of I remember thinking I tell you what in the January transfer market if any team needs a striker and I'd say Fulham unless Muniz comes back and he can really do something have a go with Stran Larsson like really test because we know he's a player McCasle was nearly there indeed in the summer I mean that would have I remember at the time thinking if he goes then they're definitely relegated Wolves right because where the goal is going to come from really but it was I mean I down to 10 minutes obviously doesn't help but I just never fancied Wolves really but you know I think you hinted at this earlier Peter there are some players in there there's a there's a squad of players who if they are yeah again if somebody can come in and Gavin if you're talking big Sam and his pump or something like that can he do it but I think the feeling at that club is so low at the moment it is it is an immensely difficult challenge to come in.

17:02The points tally speaks for itself, but this is not a newly promoted side who are just kind of, come on, we're all banding together, we need someone to give us a bit of direction. This is rotten. It might well be that O 'Neill comes in because of respect to him, you know how much I do respect him, no one else wants it. Well, yeah. You'll always get somebody, as Southampton found with Juric, there will always be somebody who fancies, I'll have a going. Juric was an empty suit, wasn't he? he basically was an empty too yeah I hope that's a great example this feels like cheap British championship manager they're going to be brought in not the video game well I mean yeah yeah right I mean I do agree I think that any manager who has got a little bit of ambition I don't think you would take that job but after 10 games you know 8 points from safety it's a big ask as you've already mentioned no team with this kind of record has ever survived I think only Sheffield United in that catastrophic season has a worse start than them yeah but there is there is time I think if this was two months on and you're in a similar situation then you'd be like well that's yeah you're going to have to get oh sure yeah there's a lot of points left to play for absolutely but yeah some of the names that were being linked to were and I just thought no way why would Rodgers go brother Brendi's not leaving the monastery for that no certainly no way certainly not you can see the effect I mean he's Celtic side beat Rangers 3-1 in the cup it's the ripple effect isn't it does he get a medal if they win Martin O 'Neill's going to get a medal Martin O 'Neill's disrespected the competition that's not absolutely clear I don't even know when the final is he said after the game not with any of us it's really confusing to do a semi-final in November he admittedly we're still getting used to that he admitted he'd secretly love you can't admit something secretly he'd love to still be in charge for the final yeah I think he'd get his wish I think it's next month the final's probably on fucking Wednesday so he also said I was 73 years old on Monday I feel 94 now is what he said because it was extra time wasn't it yeah well that's what Roger said managing a Premier League so I would have liked going on holiday compared to Celtic might be kind of backing it up or am I twisting his words though I don't know also it's great it's been a great period for manager quotes in Scotland because it's worth remembering that Brendan Rodgers said he was I think he said I'm more motivated than I ever was before to turn this around at Celtic and then resigned under a day later yeah shows you how what happened overnight well the motivation slipped away yeah somebody sucked it out of him well gentlemen yeah bad times for Wolves well done to Fulham though for making the most of an easy situation they need to turn it around a lovely opening goal from a academy guy beautiful boy a beautiful left foot strike from you know a bit of a heartthrob and then a comedy own goal everything you need for a lovely Saturday afternoon Fulham really needed that treat yourself to a little Vicky sponge on the way home now you're talking see I was a bit annoyed at the start of the season when West Ham were diabolical and I was thinking when have Fulham got them there's three points ah not till December but they'll have sorted it out by then.

19:56But this one is exactly what they needed. Yeah, a home tie against the Piscop. Yeah, totally, yeah. And they're only one point behind Newcastle United now. More on them later. Now, gentlemen, just quickly, I couldn't help but notice that a Premier League manager who goes by the name of Fabian Herzler was linking Danny Welbeck to the England squad on the weekend. I mean, is it legitimate? Talk to me. Is it legitimate? So how much of this is you just saying this because, you know, this is your trope that you do that all the... Fabian Herzler. Or the spell of fanboys love. And so that's why you're doing it.

20:29But how much of it, what percentage of it is actually, he scored six goals and seven starts in the Premier League this season. He'll be 35 by the time the World Cup comes around. But is he there for a lovely bit of experience? And would he actually do something? Because if he carries this scoring rate, he could be legitimately the second highest scorer in the Premier League this season. And therefore the top scoring Englishman. So history would say that's probably unlikely. It is unlikely. it is unlikely he'll get an injury if you live if you live through this time you'd be like I mean that is a preposterous proposition to get an English squad but from 10 years 20 years from now if you look at his score record why didn't he go to the World Cup well because you weren't there you just weren't there but he's the top scored Englishman in the Premier League at the moment anyway he's the only in fact he's the only Englishman in the top 10 top scorers in the Premier League this season I think let's have Jacob Murphy if we're bringing in people who are performing at the highest level yeah not much competition on the right wing is there for England for perspective Erling Haaland has scored over double the next highest scorer yeah and he was eligible for England yeah that's annoying that is annoying I mean that is annoying Kane behind him oh that is unbelievable to think that because he was born in England wasn't he Haaland he was born in Manchester was he I think he might have been definitely Leeds I think it was Leeds yeah you're right I think it was Leeds yeah anyway yeah but I mean it was never going to in the same way with Cashfish Michael obviously a bit different he was born here I think but anyway bollocks aside Danny Welbeck for England yeah so I think it's one of those things that it's kind of he hasn't been in the England squad for a long time very experienced of course at international level he has been to definitely one World Cup maybe he knows how to get on a plane he's been to a couple of World Cups he's not very experienced he's got about 40 caps hasn't he yeah but he's been to tournaments sure fair yeah so he's got the experience that's in the bag okay but my take on it was just that he for Hertzler's saying that just to kind of boost the confidence and keep him sticking along.

22:25I don't think it's... It's so bright and I don't think that. Yes, yes, yes. Well, I mean, if anything, he probably would prefer it not to happen because you're less likely of injury and kick your man fresh. I think, though, with the Wellback chat, I think that if... Quite clearly, I think Watkins, who's been used a little bit by Thomas Tuchel, and he himself has got a fairly recent standout moment in an England shirt at a tournament, you know, with a goal in the semi-final. I think you'd be surprised if Watkins is not the man. Even though Watkins has had a pretty abject start to the season. Yeah, so I think maybe this is a little bit knee-jerky.

22:59But, as you say, Luke, if it continues, then maybe there's some chat to be had there. However, Tuchel, the way he's been picking squads recently, and again, we've got very little to go on, but that's what we are going on. The next international break is not that far away, and then it's a bit of a gap until, is it February or March, maybe? Yeah, March. Yeah. It would be a surprise for me as well. 26 % striker for Brighton. 26%. Reminding everyone. One in four. One in four. But he's got six and seven starts this season, Peter. Well, yeah, fine. There you go. Better score on record for England. But it was a little while ago.

23:35Just about. It would be very surprising if he was called up, but by Jovi, I'd love it. Coming up after this, Spurs are still struggling at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.

23:54Do you know what a maverick is? What would you say it was? I actually couldn't say... I know it's a good thing, but I don't actually know what the word actually... Well, everyone says different things about it, but I would say unconventional. I would say flair. I wouldn't say reliable. That's a negative side. Welcome back to the football animal, everybody. Sorry, just hearing those two chatting, it confused me. It's clearly the most brain-dead conversation I've ever heard. Tim Sherwood explaining to Jack Grealish what a maverick is. Imagine having something explained to you by Tim Sherwood. That's a low.

24:33That is a low point, that. Thanks to friend of the ramble pie for sending us that clip on Discord, by the way. Did he even explain it? He just sort of said, it moves different things, doesn't it? Yeah, kind of. It just moves different things. I think it just means different things, doesn't it? All words do mean different things, don't they? You can become a friend of the Ramble too. That does mean what it suggests. Search patron.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button on YouTube to get involved. Yes. Right then. Tottenham Hottaspur 0-0-0-0-0-0 Chelsea 1. How about that? Luke Moore, you were our man at the match there.

25:04I was there, yeah. I saw it, yeah. Tottenham currently fifth in the Premier League. The Premier League table is telling a big old fib, is it not? Yeah, I don't think they're the fifth best team in the Premier League based on what I saw on Saturday team time. Definitely not. They were booed off and I mean how Chelsea only got the one goal is surprising but it was a poor performance. It was so poor. I think it's as bad as I've seen them play in person. I've been to that stadium 15 times probably. Seen them play a few times before that as well. I can't remember a worse performance than that. To put it in perspective we've done quite a lot at the start of this show about how bad Wolves were against Fulham.

25:38Wolves got five times the XG that Spurs got against Chelsea. That's how bad it was. It was astonishingly bad. Chelsea should have scored probably four or five. Honestly. Yeah, they should have. A couple of the chances they missed were laughably bad. Especially at the end. Yeah, and the thing about that was what I came away from those kind of Chelsea chances thinking was that like Chelsea are so relaxed here and so kind of not unprofessional but like just don't have to be doing this. They're not concentrating. Gettin should have scored at the dead. That was an absolutely ridiculous miss. Like Pedro had a couple of, to be fair to Vicario, he made some good saves.

26:17I think one or two of them, one or two of them were genuinely good saves. But the thing that I think probably forced the atmosphere to be so poor among Spurs fans, which I totally understand, was that for the last 20 minutes or so, Spurs were honestly playing like they were three or four down, like the game was gone. Yeah. But they were 1-0 down at home to a rival who obviously really wanted to win. they didn't chase the game at all they've got no ball carrier they've got absolutely no kind of guile and I'm not the big I mean Kudas can sometimes get them up a bit they just doubled up on him and that was it no one else could do anything and I'm not even the biggest fan of James Maddison but by God they miss Maddison because say what you like about Maddison inconsistent probably a little bit overrated in my view injury prone yeah loves the darts absolutely but he at least always wants the ball he's positive on the half turn he'll get in the gaps he'll try and make something happen and it looks like they're relying on Xavi Simmonds to do that at the moment he is miles off it like miles and miles he's been sucked into the sort of the Spurs disease or whatever or the hangover or whatever you want to call it but he just looks so tentative well you saw it for the goal yeah exactly you know I mean case in point I mean how many times did they ever be able to clear it I mean that was a three I mean Chelsea I don't think up and I don't know it seemed to me that up until that moment Chelsea were pressing them they were doing well for the goal they thought bloody hell is this all we've got to do which is why I couldn't believe they only scored the one goal they should have scored loads more honestly but you're right I think Spurs also missed Solanke a bit in terms of his industry up there yeah in terms of sort of pressing I've heard that from a few Spurs fans actually but you know what though Marcus like Rando Columani who you know is clearly a player of some great pedigree you change the you change the centre forward for take your pick you change it get Harry Kane back or whatever.

28:10I mean, Harry Kane's probably a poor example because he drops a lot deeper and does stuff. But if you're going to be a front person that's going to occupy the centre-backs, I mean, Conan Warnley must have had probably four touches. He must have gone up to him maybe three or four times. That's really it. He couldn't really do anything. And so overall, it was a really, really bad day at the office. And I think you alluded to it at the start of this chat. They're in a really false position in the league. They've played some pretty easy teams. They've got four points from 15 at home this season. they've had one noticeable result all season really which is the Man City win obviously they won at Everton as well which is pretty good but Everton were abject that day really really bad so it was poor it was genuinely very very poor yeah not really much else to say other than just you couldn't but honestly you couldn't believe how bad they were there was a moment at the end of the game in injury time you know 1-0 down things to play for there was a free kick sort of centre circle centre line and they just played it backwards and obviously the Spurs supporters were absolutely apoplectic but it was just what he's doing I think it summed it up Pete that moment in the game that's what I'm saying you were absolutely spot on Pete and just going back to what I said earlier it was because they were behaving like they were three or four down the game was gone they just didn't want to get injured or didn't want to risk anything it was completely unimaginable they were like that against Newcastle for a fair whack of the match they looked really listless at this moment in time and I just added didn't there because Spurs fans might be screaming this at their phone listening to this.

29:41They've got injuries, right? They've got, I mean, with the Bergvall injury which did unsettle them a bit. It's the worst one in the Premier League pretty much. It is. The Bergvall injury, he goes off with a head injury after a couple of minutes, right? And Bergvall is somnolox to get on the ball and likes to do things so maybe that's hurt them and that's unsettled them. But at the same time, Bergvall's like a teenager, right? They've spent a lot of money, Spurs. They've got a lot of resources. They're a big club and he went off after a few minutes which meant Simmons had to come on. That would be their 11th injury, I think.

30:08They've got 11 injuries to first-team players. And so you give them a bit of sympathy for that. But part of me just thinks, when was the last time I didn't have a million injuries? What's going on there? We blamed Ange Postacoglu for it. Postacoglu's not been at the club for months. Frank's come in. People like him. He seems a very nice man. He's clearly got a great reputation. Great hair. Lovely hair. Lovely hair. But what is happening at that club to have so many injuries all the time? Tell me the last time they didn't have loads and loads of injuries. You can't remember. If you remember with Arsenal under Wenger, there was this spell, didn't it?

30:38There's something going on there. It's weird. It is strange. It's the NFL pitch. Could be, Peter. Maybe they are training NFLs. It's so like, there was a brilliant bit actually when Chelsea scored. And at the time you're thinking this is going to be the first of many, which it wasn't. You loved that bit, did you? No, it's funny because when they scored, the dynamic advertising holdings around the pitch, which are always changing, they were talking about some kind of I can't exactly remember what it was but some kind of old kit or something that was for sale and it just came out flashed up behind Gio Pedro classic Tottenham oh no I wish I could find a screenshot somebody will have done someone's got that from somewhere but it was yeah it was it was really really bad but do you feel that his Frank I mean when Brentford his Brentford side would go away from home they would get some notable results but they were ultimately obviously mid-table Premier League side which was an incredible achievement with the resources inside the club.

31:31They're very good forward as well. Yeah, exactly. They're always good players up top. They seem to always play with pace, don't they, because of that, Pete? Yeah. Don't do it at Spurs. Which is, so, I mean, because when he goes to Spurs, we've seen this with managers before who have limited experience with certain clubs who play in a certain way out of maybe necessity more than anything else. To try and then go, right, Tottenham, we need to be more expansive, we need to be more possession-based, all that kind of stuff. Frank's still learning. I assumed that where he would hit the ground running at Spurs and it would be good.

32:02And I think for a time, they've done okay. It's been an improvement from last season, but I mean, last season, blimey, you know, especially in the Premier League, it couldn't have been that much worse. So I think with Frank, I just think that he's still getting his feet under the desk here and he's trying to figure out, like, how do Spurs take on Chelsea at home, for example? How do they go about that? Well, clearly what they did wasn't correct. It wasn't good. But do they sort of play on the break? Well, at home, you need to do a little bit more. Now, his Brentford sides would sometimes play very direct and they'd go at teams.

32:31But is he caught in the whole kind of, oh, but, you know, the Spurs way of doing things? But I just don't think it was tactical. I don't think it was tactical. You think this is players? I just think they haven't got any ball carriers. The technical floor of the team seemed really, really low. So you wouldn't say this is to do with Frank much? Look, it's obviously to do with him in a way because he's the manager. But it felt to me like, I mean, even, it goes back to the whole Graham Souness thing, which I kind of hate saying because then people think I'm a massive dinosaur as well. but like Graeme Souness would make the point which I think is a good one you know you've got to be it's the Premier League you've got to be pacey you've got to be on there you've got to play a better tempo you've got to win you've got to try and win the ball you've got to pass it quick intensity yeah intensity there's none of that there yeah which is surprising because that's what I thought Frank would because if you said so say like you said we're going to humble ourselves Chelsea are a good team on their day they've got a lot of weapons they've got a lot of players they can bring off the bench they are a great cup team for example so on their day they can be good we're going to swallow our pride we're going to be humble the fans aren't going to like it for the first half an hour or whatever but we're going to sit in and we're going to hit them hard on the break they just can't do it they can't do it they've got no like application of playing with any kind of tempo Simmons for example who was their big signing he's an incredible player he's had a great window as well he turned down Chelsea Simmons or Chelsea turned down him or whatever it didn't happen for whatever reason but Chelsea certainly were interested in him he looked like a really really bad Jack Grealish the first day back after injury.

33:57But every extra touch, extra touch, extra touch, turn it back inside, get caught in possession, not be able to pass it. It was, honestly, mate, I'm running out of ways here. We should probably move on. I'm running out of ways just saying how shit they were because they were absolutely shit. So I wonder if actually with Spurs, with some bigger games coming up, notably, well, in a few weeks time, as I say, Arsenal and then PSG, I wonder if these kind of, this run of results and then maybe that performance against Chelsea, it's going to give them a bit of a firework up the arse because one thing we were saying at the start of the season was they look much more robust than they did last year they look a little bit more maybe pragmatic on another day Fernandes could have gone and yeah that was a bad one oh yeah that was that was close wasn't it and I think that could have been a situation where they could have got something out of the game but like you said they just looked too listless didn't they I think yeah they've drifted in the last few weeks but the Frank the footage of Frank being ignored by Jed Spence and Mickey Van Der Ven, I don't usually sort of jump on this sort of thing.

34:57At the end of the game, Jed Spence and Mickey Van Der Ven are sort of walking off the pitch and they just ignore a little high five from Thomas Frank and it is unbelievable that they didn't see the high five. It is unbelievable they didn't see. You're a man who's been left-handed quite a lot so you feel it quite keenly. It hurts. It does hurt. Do you want to run on the pitch and go, hey, Alfred? I felt really sorry for him and it's kind of like, it was, I don't, I'm not usually sort of get upset about that sort of thing but I did sort of thing. they'll be upset by it. Bloody hell. We found something that's sacred to Pete.

35:27I do think Spence and Van de Ven, the Spence and De Ven need to go on social media and go, sorry about that. Sorry about that. Because it was that bad. It was that bad. Apologise. Alan Shearer and Mickey. Alan Shearer didn't think it was that big a deal. Well, I can understand why the optics are bad. But I mean, ultimately, I mean, I don't think it's the worst thing that's ever happened. I think it's the worst thing that's ever happened. Was it worse than Enzo Maresco being caught scratching his testes. That was a lovely one. That was in the pocket, wasn't it? It was in the pocket. So I think it almost looked quite cartoonish.

36:01If it's in the pocket, I think, you know, just throw it out. There was no sniff. Yeah, exactly. I think that's fine. He's trying to respect these. It's the only way a ball man can brush his hair. I think he's trying to respect the TV audience. If it needs a scratch. It was a very, so it was a five or six second period of play. He's got his hands in his pocket. Doesn't help that he's wearing a light tracksuit. He was dressed appallingly. Anyway. And then he's got his house in his pocket. He just has a little, probably middle finger scratch for the right nut. Or left nut, because it was reversed angle.

36:31Left nut. And he gets on with it. I don't think it was that bad. If you're wearing, he's wearing wank pants. He was wearing wank pants. That's what I'm saying. It's absolutely fine. It's what they're for. Yeah. There's your analysis on that. Pedro Neto had a little wind up as well. Yeah, some of the Spurs fans were giving him some and he turned around and Gene Simmons-esque tongue out, waggling it side to side. Which on the Ramble, we don't mind because fans give players shit all the time. yeah absolutely fine I think it's a disgrace I think he should apologise he should have high-fived Thomas Frank with his tongue no he should have high-fived those who were no doubt sending him incredibly vicious and aggressive insults Frank should condemn I think they were probably saying well played Pedro Chelsea have been better than us today yeah let's see your tongue enough respect do you mind sticking your tongue out out of respect to Ace Freela you passed away recently yeah right right let's move on to West Ham United 3 Newcastle United 1 the Alan Pardew derby ended the Nobby Soblano derby ended with Carl Wilson there's another one with three points yeah to West Ham United their first home win in the league since February enjoy we're in November people it's just funny it's like they had a sit-in protest planned for out of the match there was a brilliant bit when Paketes scores the first goal and the camera angle got a bloke just behind him saying sold our souls that is annoying that is quite unhelpful it's a great angle it's perfect it could have been better but I like that though I respect that from the fan he's like yeah fine we can score we can even win today but he's right they sold their salt one of the best passages to play all season when Bowen wraps one off the post and they go up the other end and just score and you can see it cuts to Nuno the camera cuts to Nuno and he's like what?

38:11yeah Bowen was like it's happening again and Andy from our podcast VGC had a ticket for this and he offered it to me but I couldn't take it and he said it obviously would be in the home fans as long as you can behave yourself and I was like I wouldn't have had much to shout about in this mess No you wouldn't have A Yawa Jordi A Yawa Jordi Newcastle were abject abject it was more about Newcastle's away form than any green shoots from a low block West Ham I would say Newcastle United one point above Fulham and Leeds United and Everton we'll chuck them in only two points above Burnley they're not doing very well in the league Peter not in the league I think the manager is trying to keep players fit for the four tournaments slash competitions they're in.

38:55He was like, did you see the celebrations of the League Cup? Sod the league? Yeah. We won another one on Astros. That's the real one. What an absolute party that was. They beat Benfica handily, dumped Spurs out of the cup in the last week. So, you know, it shouldn't be, I think they just scored too early and just couldn't keep the intensity up and just, they looked absolutely. Well, I just felt like West Ham now in that game played players in the right position they played an extra band midfield because in previous weeks Thomas Suchek has just been stranded in the middle of the pitch going is anyone out there they started the season playing Suchek and Ward Prowse in a midfield two in the Premier League in 2025 and they would deviate from it for some reason against Newcastle they played three they played three midfield players that can actually run they played Paketai a bit deeper they played fullbacks in the right position who can actually play and they played Callum Wilson who can occupy centre backs and do a bit up front rather than Fulkrug who's like a tanker and lo and behold you're saying that helped them win yes 100 % and if they can play like that look I don't really know Pete knows Newcastle much better than me maybe Newcastle were bad but I just thought West Ham were much much better it was a lot lot better from West Ham but like you said they just there's been so much kind of chopping and changing and Nuno doesn't seem to want to play the right players in the right position and he doesn't seem to know his best team well he's not been there long has he he's not been there long yeah this time around he's just sort of looked at Right, why don't you just ask the players, why do you play?

40:21Right, you said it'd be quite good full-back, shall we play you there? That's basically what he's done. He's like, right, remind me who the full-backs are. All right, we'll probably put you there. And it's worked out very well. I mean, yeah, it was night and day, really. But, I mean, the first home win since February in the league, that is, what a damning sort of stat that is. They can't play Newcastle side like this every week, though. I cannot impress you much enough how poor Newcastle have been on the road. but this was probably top three worst performances from an Eddie Howe side. It was that bad.

40:55They were astonishingly poor. Look, we're going to talk more on Newcastle in the mailbag tomorrow. So we will go in more depth. They'll also be discussing Arsenal's title credentials as well. Do subscribe to The Rumble on your podcast app so you don't miss that. But you're right, Peter. It was a very, very poor performance from Newcastle United and they're going to have to show more in the Premier League because if you want to stay in the Champions League, you either win it or you finish in the top four or five. Yeah. Don't finish in the top four or five, realistically, you know. I mean, financially, I guess, if you're kind of battling against FFP and all that, PSR, surely if you go deep in the Champions League, it's probably more valuable than a couple of players in the Premier League, possibly.

41:33Made a few quid from Isak, did they not? Made a few quid from Isak as well. By the way, did you see, speaking of, a young Newcastle United fan was pictured on social media dressed as a rat for Halloween and he was wearing an Isak shirt. Do you like that, Peter? I don't mind it. I think that's absolutely fine. I like the detail on the rat I don't know why the rat's got blood I was going to say that why has he got blood all down him he's like a vampire rat maybe he's a vampire rat he's got the Isak shirt on the wrong way around so everyone can see it on the front of his chest yeah he's absolutely defaced his Newcastle shirt presumably because he thinks it's worthless now because Isak's left but there is blood dripping from his fangs and all the way down his shirt I think rats are quite friendly individual but I mean don't trust them no I will I will I don't like to talk about other people's decor but good God the room is a sight it looks a bit like I thought it was some kind of hairdressers yeah but it's not it's a home it's like Donald Trump's powder room very enjoyable I think we should move on coming up after this the St.

42:32Albans mascot has had a bad day at the office

42:46Gentlemen, Nottingham Forest 2, Manchester United 2. An entertaining game at the city ground. It has ended Manchester United's run of three wins in a row. The United Strand is back to square one in terms of getting a haircut. At what point do you reckon he wishes he'd never done this? I think it's going to be a Bella Goodman style curse. Has he got a job? Well, I guess you could probably make a bit of money out of this. Nightclub appearances. There's no way to live though, is it? Serving shots up your hair. I don't know. He's already on an advert for a betting company. exactly there you go and I'm sure the United Strand has done very well out of this I just wondered if his life has changed completely in an unexpected way because of this I don't know if he's married or not but I hope he's got his wedding coming up yeah that would be funny it's kind of like this might be too big he might I know this is a little bit of a joke now and stuff but this might become yeah I know what you mean a situation that is actually weighing heavily like a barnet of hair because technically he could I mean in theory United could still they could become really good and still not win five in a row he overreached it because he could have just done three to win five in a row is actually not lose five in a row you're talking Klopp's Liverpool you know Guardiola's Man City in their peak five in a row he should have gone three should have gone three and the actual image of it is amusing now but is he going to go into dreadlocks is he going to just go for the big kind of he's got the option you know Colombian midfielder kind of vibe I mean, yeah, it's Valderrama at the moment, isn't it?

44:14Well, I just don't know, Peter. When they went 1-0 up through Casemiro, I thought, well, he's on for this haircut, isn't he? They won five in a row. The last time they won five in a row was in February 2024. Okay. It's more recent. Let's get Eric back. Than we thought, maybe. Yeah. What did you think of that moment just before the goal where, you know, did the ball cross the line? Did it not? Sean Dyche was very unhappy. I'm not a Sean Dyche acolyte or even vague supporter, as you well know, but I think he's well within his rights to be annoyed about that because there's no clear evidence at all that the whole ball goes over the whole of the line.

44:54You've got to make a call. You have, but secondly, why is that not an incident that can be checked in the lead up to a goal? It seems like we could check everything else in the lead up to a goal, but we can't check that. It doesn't make any sense. Well, but you're, generally speaking, anti-technology getting involved with the helping of decisions. If you bring it in there, Yeah, but no, it doesn't know because we have different rules for a goal, checking a goal. We have different kind of thresholds. We don't need to check. I think we can check everything and lead up to a goal, which we appear to already be doing up to a point.

45:27It doesn't need to be checked for any, the ball being out of play doesn't need to be checked every single time. Just what it seems to me is that VAR has been applied in the way that says, is there any reason we need to rule out this goal? They're doing it with fouls, the potential hand balls obviously with off sides so this naturally has to be the camera the camera angle is much better than the assistant referees over the other side of the pitch and can't see it really if he's being honest that assistant referee he can't see it because the goal net's in the way so to me it feels like they can be considering themselves to be pretty hard done by because I saw the footage and I don't think it doesn't look like the ball went it looks like the curve of the ball is maybe still on the line exactly why haven't we got some kind of Hawkeye for this there can just be a binary we don't even have to hear about it until a goal's been scored and go actually it was out because then you I think with the goal line everyone's quite clear on that to me like if the ball is in which it perhaps was it's absolute fine margins and of course I know it leads to a goal they thought it went out the camera angle suggests maybe the curve of the ball is just in by the skin of its leather and I get why Dice he's the manager because of course he's going to be unhappy but the wider context to me is like okay I don't think it's that big a deal well because you can defend the corner and that's that well because in terms of the corner goes in do you then you know if you've got someone looking at that camera and they go yeah I'm like 75 80 % sure that that's probably still in play alright well let's see what happens with the corner and to me there's just chaos I think that if you either have the technology for the whole pitch the whole line around the pitch it's basically a new it's a new passage of play basically yeah so that's why That's why I think you're unlucky, lads.

47:09Probably, you know, but I don't think it was a shocker. I guess the problem is that we have forensic analysis on other aspects of the game. And it feels quite antiquated that we're relying on the assistant referee over the other side of the pitch, who clearly, like I say, if he's being honest, he just doesn't know. Well, Dice says he's guessed. But again, the guess is that the ball's gone out. Well, I'd say at least 75, 80 % of the ball is out. my guess would be again the curve of the ball kind of keeping it in bloody hell you know it's not that I mean I appreciate the guesses either in or out they've set a precedent because they've said and they've marketed all this stuff it's like it's going to be the end of controversial decisions and stuff and it just isn't is it we'll find new controversy controversy well Forreston I mean they conceded from two set pieces although to say everyone's doing that these days I mean Dallow's volley was a beauty lovely one that's one of the most pleasing goals of the weekend it's really good and it's almost like it made it when I watched it it felt like it would have been impossible to do that because it's so quick it goes through so many players you've got to be so fortunate I'm not taking anything away from him but you've got to be so fortunate for that not to take a nick off someone it's a really good goal the reactions were great the only other goal I'd say reaction wise on the weekend was as impressive as Mateta's header straight away loops it in great neck muscles on that one beauty beauty but yeah I mean Sean Dyches was a bit unhappy but look for him I think getting a two-all draw at home to this Manchester United resurgent Manchester United to put a stop to that to that winning run I don't think it's a terrible result at all and I think Forest fans still you know I know that they're still 19th you know they're four points from safety I still think that it's it's slowly going in the right direction yeah I understand what you mean I think they're also going to benefit aren't they United from not having any kind of other European competition or anything so if they can keep building slowly but surely and almost ghost as much as Man Utd can ghost their way anywhere because of the attention they get but if they can ghost their way up to a decent top half finish you'd have to treat that as a platform but I do think there's you know look Liverpool was a game of really fine margins and Liverpool were in a pretty bad place at the time and had chances though as well they had loads of chances the Brighton game is fair enough although they've massaged the scoreline there by scoring in the last kick, really, to make it look a bit more comprehensive.

49:40And then I think Amorim's probably within his rights to say, look, he's pleased because on another day, we go a goal up, we get back two quick goals at Forest School, they're at home, they go ahead. On another day, we might have rolled over and lost this and we didn't. And he's taken the positives from that. That's cool. The Tottenham game next is mad. That's going to be like the absolute, like, who is the most incompetent team? But you have to say with Hammerin, when he does say what you just said and said, you know, we'd have lost that match and by several goals he added to that, he is correct.

50:13I mean, again, you saw the character of the side against Liverpool, rode their luck a little bit. I think that, you know, he said, we now know how to overcome difficult moments and they're showing that. They are. I think Saturday by 3pm we're going to have a Man United win there. You think Man United will beat Spurs? They look so much better than Spurs and especially at home. where they can't seem to win. Get revenge for that Europa League final defeat, eh? Gentlemen, I want to talk about the FA Cup first round, if I may. Okay. Some great moments. There were some great moments. It was the FA Cup first round this weekend just gone.

50:47St. Albans lost 6-0 away to Burton. Beautiful town, St. Albans. Very historic. It's where I will learn to drive. Is it really? Is it really? Blimey. It's one of the oldest pubs in Britain. I know there's a few pubs that claim it. Everyone claim it, aren't they? It's an incredibly old pub in St. Albans. Just say that. Yeah. No, you have to give it. That's their claim. I think they may even claim to be the oldest, perhaps. I don't know. As I always say, there's a toilet next to the station that has mouths you can wee in. That's nice to know. Are they members of staff? Rolling Stones' mouths, big pink mouths that you wee in.

51:22Oh, yeah, you've seen a picture of that before. Delicious. So apparently the three pubs that claim to be the oldest in the UK are the Bingley Arms in Bardsey, West Yorkshire, which claims to have dated back to 950, the old fight in Cox in St Albans and the old trip to Jerusalem in Notting which I went to a few weeks ago all claimed to have it as the oldest and the oldest one in London is the old Cheshire Cheese there's one in Drimmon near Glasgow I forget the name of it I've been there as well used to be one of Billy Connolly's old haunts I think that again maybe that's in Scotland perhaps not Britain anyway St Albans though they love what you do with preserving the pubs and the cathedral but on the football pitch you need to improve beaten by Burton 6-0 St.

52:06Auburn's mascot had an even worse day at the office he was ejected from the stadium after appearing drunk and falling over the advertising hoardings you thought this was a wrestling style work I thought it was a work from the black capped lion yeah he's a Roman lion apparently he was launched in 2014 been drinking ever since and he's been drinking ever since it seems when it got launched I read a press release and it said if you want the Roman line represents St. Albans to come to a child's birthday party just let us know we'll meet you in the old pub we'll meet you in the old pub yeah but he yeah I thought it was possibly he was being a bit silly but then the more I watch it the more I believe presumably he's being belligerent so that's what I kicked him out was he actually being kicked out I think he does he not get asked to leave at one point and that's the moment where you kind of go alright silliness is over now you better get out and he can't just the silliness doesn't seem to be in his power.

53:04Do you bring your own mascots to away games? Is that a thing that happens in the Premier League? I don't think that... You just have your own. Yeah, I don't think it happens in the Premier League, but I think maybe lower league, maybe for the FA Cup. You want to go out for a nice day? Why can't they have a nice day out? Well, like, I just don't think a non - a non-member of a football club should have the free reign to dance around an away section. I just think that's a weird thing it's a weird present at the set personally yeah I kind of agree with you there Peter I know what you mean it's the best mascot moment since Deontay Wilder knocked that bloke out in the costume you ever heard that story on the Spanish chat show they brought a mascot on their TV show mascot right and Deontay Wilder was promoting his fight against Tyson Fury this wasn't having it 2018 well they just they egged him on to punch the mascot and I think Wilder momentarily forgot there was a man in it yeah and just absolutely drilled him you'd at least think that there would be enough kind of like comfort between fist and face to not die.

54:05But also crucially I think you can't really see where the throat is. You just absolutely hear making a punch into a throat. He said I sincerely apologise to the brave man that was injured. I have the utmost respect for him, his participation, his willingness and his courage. I'd have liked it if he did a Tyson Fury and just go straight back up. Be like oh my giddy arm. Was it Tyson himself? He also invited him to his fight. I'm not sure if the guy went. Okay. Probably not more. You're the last bloke I want to see. Yeah, exactly. Now, there was a big Essex Derby, Peter. Your part of the world. Chelmsford City beat Braintree Town 4-1.

54:41Braintree's Aidan Francis-Clark was sent off for what could only be described as a proper Derby Day challenge. Yeah. It's not even a challenge. A full-blooded kick as hard as he could. Off the ball. Out of frustration after a professional foul. off the ball that, to be fair, he does whiff, but if he connected, that would have been a possible broken leg. He also was being fouled for a good five seconds beforehand. Yeah, the referee. And the referee could have blown up and stopped him. And then he kind of, quite optimistically, I would say, Aidan Francis-Clarke walks off away from the melee that happens after just to go get the ball to restart the game.

55:18You won't be restarting the game. You will not be restarting the game. Thanks for getting the ball, but off you go. It wasn't even it. It was one of those infringements it's not even a tackle it's not even a tackle it's no more a tackle than a stamp is a tackle it was pure frustration in one of the Essex Veterans Leagues I was part of a football match where a man tried to enter me with his digits like a ball like a bowling ball when was this? I was we're 7-2 up when was this at the weekend? yeah we're 7-2 up you're playing 7-2 up you play the whole game? no Half of it What was the score When you came on 7-0 I think it might be 2-1 of them actually Oh there we go Game changer But he I do the thing When someone's Taking a corner I just sit on the keeper And try and just Yeah yeah yeah Stop scratching yourself Well that's where He entered me Oh he was A man Oh he was trying To tickle you He called me A naughty word What did he say Then tried to knee me In the back Of the leg What does the naughty word Begin with See yeah I think it was a C oh and then and then he was trying he was grabbing hold of my midriff into my ribs and jamming his fingers as hard as he could into my ribs so the referee because the referee you can't really see when someone's jabbing someone in the ribs I thought you were going to say you put two fingers like your bum yeah you said well he tried every entry point was did he get it in your mouth he didn't get one in my mouth no bloody hell but you won 7 or 2 did you get a goal but it really hurt did you get a goal no a very famous man once tried to do this to you in Essex before but you turned him down right no that was at the Groucho that was a it was a century club actually sorry century club but was he not saying we can do this in Essex Essex is available for you as a destination yeah it wasn't the same man I assume but it really hurt and it hurt my feelings what's the bloke he's playing football against on the Sunday Michael Barrymore no it wasn't the 70 year old Michael Barrymore that would be something of a story wouldn't it playing my ribs like a piano what happened then the corner came in and nothing happened and then the referee blew up but I was like it's just a bit strong to be you know hurting me in that way I hate that what position were you playing hurting me left back on the keeper on the keeper you've got to do your bits haven't you yeah okay well back to the FA Cup first round perhaps the most eye-catching result of the round was Carlisle coming back from 2-0 down to beat Reading 3-2 bearing in mind that Reading are in League 1 and Carlisle are albeit flying high but they're still in the National League I mean I'm on referee 2 in the extra time I like Reading.

57:51I mean, it's been a bad week for the Royals, hasn't it? Again. Nice. I think that Reading are a disgrace, as you know. Did this change your opinion? Well, I couldn't get over the fact that Reading are playing a game at home at the great historic select car leasing stadium against a non-league team, right, who brought their own sizable travelling away support. and 3 ,900 people turned up. It was like an empty stadium in the FA Cup. The sales aren't on, are they? It's the romance of the cup. If there's something happening at Reading, I don't know, but I know they've been through the mill and they've had a really difficult time.

58:32But could you support your team a bit more? Are they boycotting this game or what's going on? And the advertising hoardings around the side were basically all the way through the match were saying, follow us on WhatsApp, follow us on WhatsApp. So maybe all of the crowd, maybe all of the fans are just following the WhatsApp rather than watching them in the stadium. well there we are so we can't wait for round two of the FA Cup of course now before we go one final result I would like to mention is that Portland Timbers beat San Diego 3-2 on penalties in the second of their best of three playoff time this is so confusing then it's off to the Liberty Zone yeah so best of three at the Bald Eagle Geico Insurance Stadium and I'll tell you what they were 2-1 down and it was in like the 97th 98th minute they got that equaliser yeah Fizzer and his boys are still alive.

59:22It's enough to cautiously sip a light beer, isn't it? They're still fighting for this cup. It's one all. The Timbers will now play San Diego next weekend in a series decider. The great bit about football is its simplicity, isn't it? It really is. Why are they applying so much weird detail onto this? We don't have time to answer that, but we do have the mailbag tomorrow where we will answer some very, very difficult questions. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAS Creator Network. We are back tomorrow for that mailbag. In the meantime, remember to give us a five-star review because we will love you and we will keep our digits out of your thighs and arms and ribs.

59:56Rib cage. If you give us a five-star review, we promise to do that. Thank you very much, Luke. Thank you very much. Thank you, Peter. Thank you. Thank you, Fizzer.

1:00:10The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.