Live from the Christmas Perineum

0:00It's tickety-boo today, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! Villa won again and Aberdeen played a bloody back four. It's Monday, 29th December. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

0:23Hello everybody! Welcome to the Christmas Perineum. Yes. we're in between the cock and the balls not the balls and the arsehole yeah which one's which you've asked me that before put the lights on there was a man on there was a man on a Facebook group I'm a member of who was claiming that he was the inventor of the Christmas perineum and he can't he was basically making it clear that he wanted some kind of restitution he wanted some he wanted some cash first person I ever heard say that was Jim Campbell yeah there you go I'll give him the credit exactly mind you he's not here though so maybe we could just claim it for ourselves.

0:59Christmas is the testes, I think. Yeah. Yeah, New Year's the arsehole. Yeah, definitely. Jules Holland, isn't it? Yeah. Out with the unwanted. No, you basically, Christmas is the balls and you get to New Year's Eve, you flick the hootenanny on and you say, arsehole. Right. What's wrong with, what's wrong with Jules Holland? Do your impression. Don't love it, Christmas, arsehole. See, there you go. All right, okay. Ever stuffed Christmas into New Year's? no

1:31blimey O 'Reilly goodness me anyway we look forward to seeing Jules Netherlands to give him his full name in a few days why do other football podcasts win awards because they enter them and tell their listenership constantly about them until they're bored some other podcasts football podcasts just basically produce and distribute a zoom call bang award we do this stuff we're doing cock and balls from minute one Minute one. And we get nothing. I find it, we've been doing this for many, many years, since 2007. Yeah. Society's still scared of us. Yeah. Still scared of us. Cock and balls, still relevant.

2:09There we are. Yeah. A lot of us have got them. Yeah, we have. Exactly. Not all. Use them wisely. Yes, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, good. I hope everybody listening to this had a lovely Christmas time and you're looking forward to the new year. What do we think about the idea there was only one game on Boxing Day? Have we talked about that? Well, we're going to talk about it. Yeah, we're talking about the game specifically, but did we feel besmirched? Did our great football tradition feel besmirched because of it? Some people were very, very angry about that. Yeah, because they fucking hate their family and they're bored.

2:38You wait till 8pm for one fucking game. Well, they were thinking about, you know, English football traditions have been, a lot of them have been thrown out, and that was almost the final straw. The final straw, yeah. I wasn't a victim of that, though, Peter, because I went to go and see Gosport Borough, which leads up at 3pm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With a windchill factor of minus two. and they lost 4-0 at home. Oh, right. All of the clothes in your wardrobe, Luke, have wind chill minus two written inside them. They do. You would have been toasting up, surely. And I was wearing a ball at the same time.

3:07Yeah, exactly. So I didn't miss out is all I'm saying. No. More on Man United later, I'm sure, Marcus. No coffin balls there. You're in charge. So if you decide we'll talk about Man United later, then we'll happily talk about them. Well, I think we shall. Pete's had a lovely Christmas. We need to bring him back down to earth. Yeah, we do. But we're going to start with Chelsea 1, Aston Villa 2. Villa they're on the verge on the verge of what? the Premier League title are they? what a title race we've got by the way I just feel Marcus you're so down on Man City winning the league that you'll bring anyone into this story I mean when you say I'll bring anyone I mean they're a point behind Man City three points off I would argue passionately Peter that they've brought themselves into it and Peter I'm a big disciple of Graham Souness in lots of different ways as you know and he always famously said we don't look at the table until Christmas.

3:57Now Christmas has happened. Have a glance. I'm happy to look at it now. And of course Aston Villa have Arsenal next in the league, don't they? But what a game that's going to be. That's going to be a big game. It's tomorrow night. It's at the Emirates. That's going to be sensational. That's going to be Susan Perb. It is. But Aston Villa, of course, with this victory at Stamford Bridge, equal the club record. 11 wins on the bounce. Dating back to 1914 and 1897. That is what Unai Emery's doing. but according to you Pete Donaldson they're not on the verge of anything I didn't exactly say that I'm just saying that you're trying to bring it in because of your anti-Man City agenda I don't have an anti-Man City agenda what I love about this mucky Premier League season even the in-form European Imperius team in the league and elsewhere you know Aston Villa are just winning so much they are the in-form European team and they can still get absolutely dominated for 60 minutes in a football match make three subs and they're back in the game absolutely brilliant That was amazing what Emery did.

4:54Well, it was incredible. I mean, obviously, 1-0 down, Jarrell Pedro scored. By the way, what was Enzo Fernandes doing for that goal? Did you see that? Well. He was in the net. I think, was he worried about offside? When the corner came in, he was like a tuna fish. Yeah. In the net. He was, he knows Emi Martinez, of course, teammates at Argentina. He's having a little niggle. He's probably thinking, I have to do something to try and put this man off. But the camera angle showed it from behind the goal and the goal went in and it was very jarring because you're not used to seeing a player come from that side of the camera.

5:28Hello in there. They've got 12 men. Count them. The way that Rhys James put in that corner, it was as if he was eating a big ice cream. It was so relaxed. He's got great delivery. He's got a wand of a right foot, we can agree. It's a waft, isn't it? Like that free kick against Newcastle at St James'. There was hardly any run-up. He almost scored himself against Villa. Natalie's at the back track and claw it over the bar and it's very rare you can tell his right foot's good because if someone's got a really good right foot generally people don't notice it's when they've got a left foot it really makes it his right foot you're getting on for Beckham-esque stuff you are you are getting into that kind of postcode yeah David Bentley-esque yeah more accurate I'd say in terms of those wins though from Aston Villa I mean Villa have been behind and won against Leeds Brighton they were behind twice against Brighton I think West Ham and now Chelsea they've been pegged back by teams and gone on to win more than once too most recently against Man United.

6:24They weren't really in it in the first half. Well, Luke, to extrapolate that out, the stat that was flying around was across the last three Premier League seasons, Aston Villa have won more points from losing positions than any other Premier League side. Amazing, isn't it? So the trick is against Villa is to not go ahead. Yeah. That'll show them. Yeah, that'll teach them. Now what are you going to do? I wasn't expecting that, would I? Now what are you going to do? Peter, it's like, did you feel like you rescued Christmas from a losing position at the last minute? What do you mean? As in like...

6:51Well, because you told me, you messaged me saying, well, first of all, you messaged me two weeks ago saying you're going to do a beef wellington. And then I got a load of WhatsApp messages from you about three days before Christmas saying you'd accidentally bought some bad beef. Bad beef from the bad butcher. You left it in the car. Where did you buy it from? No, no, no, no, no. I did it twice. I bought two blobs, I'm going to call them, of beef. One was bad beef from the start. What car do you want? I have a blob. One I made bad in the car because I left it in the car for too long. So, look, Sammy Amiobi, it was his third birthday, Christmas Eve.

7:23He very much read the rewards. Yeah, that does need to be clarified. Absolutely. But did you rescue Christmas? Was it a victory in the end? It was a victory in the end. I mean, I didn't sit down. I didn't feel like I sort of enjoyed any part of it. But the doll's house went down and the turkey crown went down okay. What did you have to do on Christmas Day, though, Peter? What did I have to do on Christmas Day? You had to go to the shop and buy some batteries, didn't you? Yeah. I did have to go which I didn't actually do I did have to go to the shop and buy some cranberry sauce as well when I ask you a question about whether it was a victory in the end and you answer precisely like this yeah it was a victory in the end it doesn't sound like a victory and I don't think your family would agree with you when you answer like that I felt like I rescued a one-all draw ok so you're not quite Aston Villa but you are can you imagine old Monty in El Alamein yeah North Africa was it Churchill was it a victory well in the end it was.

8:19I'm coming there myself. I'm not convinced by this. If you do everything I say we might get a victory in the end. Yeah. It can't get better than this. It just can't. My goodness. Well, I forgot where we were. Oh yeah, Chelsea, they were on top. Yeah, Chelsea batted them. Chelsea, we know they could raise it for the big games. After an hour did they think, is this a big game, Aston Villa? It will be in a minute. Well, I tell you what, they got slapped down in the end. That's the thing Chelsea, we know they've got it in them. This is why it must be quite frustrating. They were booed at the end. What exactly?

8:54They should have probably been a couple of goals to the good. If you're on top that much in the Premier League, I think you've got to put away the side. But easier said than done, of course. And then, as you say, Emery makes that triple substitution. Watkins and Arna and Sancho, the former Chelsea man, coming on. Sancho is great. I know a lot of Villa fans will say, this is what you get from Sancho. A couple of good sub-performances, but nothing from a 90-minute performance. but are they going to take a when you're seeing this you sort of go look if you reduce your wage demand massively we will take a chance on you in the summer is somebody going to reap the rewards of a little bit of game time in the Premier League for John I think he's one of those players that managers will look at for still quite a bit of time to come and think I can get a tune out of him that always happens with players I think he could be one of those but he came on a main difference I love the fact that Chelsea made a triple sum about 10 minutes after Villa did alright well we'll have a go didn't worry he didn't have the same desire everyone's doing it the first Ollie Watkins goal was very fortunate wasn't it it's a lovely pass and the thing is he took it well no I thought the first touch was poor did you like the spin though the spin looked nice yeah the spin was good but I think I could see exactly what I was trying to do with the first touch yeah I see what you mean and it meant the finish had to go the way it went the margins of it I think I don't think he's a great player Watkins in terms of his technique and stuff well we're going to talk about Dominic Cavendish oh good good I look forward to that Marcus by which I mean I might have a little sleep because it's like Slippin' Ivan Tony mentioning Peter just to annoy him oh brilliant rolling back the years we're playing Christmas charades with Mark isn't it oh he's doing an England player again Nan yep it's like when you play like old people music to make them remember it's like when you put the TV on when you go out so the dogs think you're still home come on don't be naughty but I just think the first goal was very fortunate because of course it was you couldn't really argue any different it was fortunate He takes a heavy, not a heavy touch, it's actually a too light a touch and the ball gets away from him.

10:54He stabs it, it comes back, hits his knee and goes in. You've got to create your own fortune. You have. It's going to count. It's going to count as his goal. But I take the point of what you're saying. Yeah. But I also wanted to say that, you know, Emery kind of changing it up to kind of match Chelsea's formation and then turn the game on its head. Emery has been like really, really good in the Premier League. Oh yeah. For Villa. it's been fantastic and I should also point out that a lot of people pulled us up last time we talked about Villa and how much money they've spent I think we did it on a mailbag a couple of weeks ago the wage bill's high the wage bill's high but if you just to correct the record on the transfer fee spent because I think it's important to do that they're actually 17th for net spend in that time in the last five years I think it is only Wolves, Everton and Brighton have a lower net spend than them Man United, Chelsea and Arsenal have all spent 10 times the amount of money Aston Villa have when it comes into taking incomings in as well.

11:48So it's an incredible job that he's done there. I think we're not halfway through the season yet. By the end of the week, we will be. So maybe that's a good time to think about who can do what and who can really challenge. But they certainly look at the best of the rest if you're going to say that Arsenal and Man City are the serious title challengers. And it would be an amazing story for them to do something. It would be so good. It would be incredible, yeah. agreed Ollie Watkins described Emery as a tactical genius after the match which is quite something when he started on the bench but obviously he was so delighted when he came on you wouldn't be at too many he just scored two goals no but I like that kind of attitude I mean some a lot of strikers especially if they are by and large maybe not so much this season but by and large a starting striker or have been and that they've been spending a bit of time on the bench okay he came on and scored the goals he's a tactical genius you know he should put me on the bench more often and he's like, oh no.

12:43He could be genius, sir. Yeah, but Peter, players always, you know, compliment managers, don't they? They just want to play. Yeah. What did you think of Enzo Maresca watching from the back of the stands in his little chair? I enjoyed it because he looks aggressive. He looks like he wants to start a fight in an empty room. He looked like he'd been put on a naughty step, which I bloody enjoyed. Someone took a photo or tweeted around a photo of the view he had. Yeah. Very low ceiling. Yeah. I just thought, that's a shoddy view. Well, apparently he sort of moved down later in the match and Chelsea got worse.

13:16The closer he gets, he's like radiation. He's the elephant's foot of the Premier League. If you're going to try and get a closer look, get in a laundry basket. Yeah, exactly. Presumably there's some kind of mandated punishment radius where he has to be set apart away. Yeah, I don't know. You've got to be in the stands. So you could, I mean... Well, the guy on the stand is Arsene Wenger at Old Trafford. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, but that's because he was sent during the game. Oh, sorry. Yes, you're right. it was still great Moresca's serving a band I kind of feel like it's funny isn't it because players if they're serving a band can obviously travel with the team and they can probably sit on the bench or something even I'm not sure they can maybe they can sit behind the bench maybe so Moresca probably presumably could have sat behind the bench I first of all thought he was doing the first half Sam Allardyce with the old earpiece but you're not allowed to do that either yeah I'd love to know what the rules are you can't communicate basically during the game are you getting like are you getting sort of frisked at the start of the match though that you're not wearing some kind of like in a star form you've not got any bad beef on you got any bad beef on you bad electronic beef on you couple of blobs of beef please butcher yeah possibly maybe tap on your leg tap a little mouse cord on a little button in your leg yeah that's true it could be that Pete it could be all of those things but whatever it was it didn't have the design effect because Chelsea lost the game well I think we're looking at a situation now where this game tomorrow night at the Emirates is you know it's probably the game of the season because if you look in the context of the title if Aston Villa win at the Emirates and I think they've been better than Arsenal recently you have to agree surely you'd agree with that well my Tom Jones impression there just surely yeah I'm always confused by the Tom Jones impression it can mean anything yeah there's another one there yeah it can mean all sorts of things it feels a bit like communicating with a particularly intelligent orangutan at a zoo could be asking for a banana could be could be saying he misses his friend could be anything yeah but at the same time when you hear that noise you just know I think and old Tom if he's interested goodness knows if he is or not is he still with us Tom Jones he is isn't he yeah yeah I'll just double check you carry on I think if he's into football if he's into Arsenal he'll be all over this game it is a must although I say it's a must watch Wolves do go to Old Trafford at the same time yeah so what you could do They haven't won a game all season, have they?

15:42Oh, what are they, off to Old Trafford? Come on. You could watch the Royal Shakespeare Company, right? Or you could watch your kids' nativity play. Yeah, a bit of Amdram. On the other side. Yeah. Well, we'll see. Although, I mean, when all's said and done, though, Manchester United, they're sixth on the same points as Chelsea. World champions Chelsea on the same points. Absolutely. The Premier League table is still fibbing. A fucking liar. Yeah, he's still fibbing away. Pete thinks every team is shit, don't you, Pete? I think every team is pretty shit. You cited that Spurs stat, didn't you? Which was that even though they haven't won away from home for two months, the fact they beat Crystal Palace now puts them top of the away table.

16:22I mean, that's an amazing bit of work. But it just says that, as they say, our Barclays is back. You know, long gone are these kind of like dominant teams. And we're now in a situation where the league is normal again. but it feels like the league's bad. I don't know where it... Have we sort of dipped below where we should be? Who cares? Enjoy it. It's not about winning games and being good. It's about successfully exporting and marketing a product. Yes. That's a good point, actually. And that's what we're doing here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good point. Does it get Champions League football this season in the Premier League?

16:57Well, that's the worrying thing for Chelsea, isn't it, I suppose? Like, Villa, even Man United have gotten better this season. like they're the ones going for these positions now and Chelsea you can't really sort of blame the rigours of sort of Champions League football because they should have the squad to sort of get through these league fixtures they've won one Premier League fixture in their last six and Villa Ramar's better than them yeah Villa Ramar's better than them fifth is Europa League this year by the way yeah okay so yeah I mean that's where they currently are but of course I mean it's quite packed in there because oh Fulham are just three points behind them can you believe that I can believe it I can believe it because I'm looking at the league table right now I have no choice but to believe it yeah I'd say so I think the league table is going to be fibbing away for another dare I say month or two but you keep Sonasta Villar on the verge I didn't say it was fibbing all the way Wolves are not going to win the league a duplicitous verge one extracts the truths one needs from the table I think there are swathes of the Premier League that are fibbing right now I think only one half of the Premier League table One can only tell the truth and the other can only lie.

18:05Yeah. And who knows where it is. Fitting, though, that Fulham right in 10th there. The neutrality zone. The equilibrium. Exactly. All right, coming up after this, do England have another right back? Fucking hell.

18:29Just want you to have a look at this scarf on my chest. It is a scar from a heart transplant I had an operation So about five years ago My heart stopped working Like Alexander Isaac this summer It's not possible Wow Wow Wow No but that's not funny Because you had a birth attack Why are you laughing then? I don't know What about the football rival everybody? Sure everybody saw that So when it happened It was worth recounting it Pete Dalton talking to a couple of football players That's right, yeah. Or a Sunderland fan talking to Wilson, Isidore and Noah Siddiqui. Thanks to Friend of the Ramble, Teej, for sending us that clip.

19:09You can become a Friend of the Ramble too. Search patreon.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button to get involved on YouTube. Right, league leaders Arsenal beat Brighton 2-1. Well, of course, they weren't leading the league when they went into that match after Man City beat Forest, but my goodness, they blasted their way to the top of the table once again with a conservative 2-1 victory at home. To Brighton. A late scare, Pete Donaldson. Yes. But David Raya mugging you off again. What a save that was, by the way. With one of the saves of the season. Marcus, as you know, I didn't question his shot-stopping ability.

19:44It was how much pressure he invites on himself at his feet. But I will concede that that was stunning. The problem, Pete, is you never commit to these takes. He does. Van Dyke. I do. I do. Van Dyke. Bruno. He always feels the need to explain himself, which gives him a position of weakness. That is exactly how he does. If you come to me with one that I've said before, I just say, fuck you. Right. And then we just crack on. So that's better, exactly. You've got to double down. And I did listen to the last show, actually. Thank you, Luke Moor. That was very unwelcome. Good. Very unwelcome. I slag you off off air.

20:14I slag you off on air. I slag you off when you're here. I slag you off when you're not here. You know where you are with it. Yeah. It's no schrodinger, is it? No, it's not.

20:25Mind how you go on your wedding day, Peter, if you decide to go down that road. Pete's not going to get married. No, okay. He can't. get married. He's not allowed to. I won't please your button-down world. That's not the only reason. I was just trying to give you some advice, but there we are. He's been struck off the marriage register. Oh, that's true. Prove his behaviour in several different counties. Prove the system works. If he wants to get married, he will literally have to go to Lincolnshire. The only one he can get married in. Is that right? Yeah, and he's not prepared to do that. Is that right, Peter?

20:49Yeah, it's the only place that'll allow me to do it with 15-year-olds.

20:57He pleased himself for that one. And that's Lincolnshire. and that's Lincolnshire shame on them shame on them here's a little hot topic Pete let me show you how to do it Lincolnshire have done nothing wrong that's how you do it go on you do it what about this I think Arsenal are rapidly running out of steam are they do you think that is that a big take or have you just been watching a bit of Arsenal lately do you think they're jobbing the bed I wouldn't go that far but I think they're running out of steam well we're going to find out tomorrow night are we not big time well I mean you've got so next three matches Aston Villa at home Bournemouth away then Liverpool at home and Liverpool are looking better Bournemouth aren't are they I was about to say Peter really you should have just kept it until tomorrow night really yeah alright fine ok on the 8th of January they're playing Liverpool alright Marcus is that right I just think I think it's interesting how a lot of the takes around Arsenal have been they'll do it this season because they've strengthened really well and they've got depth yet as soon as they start to pick up injuries which they have particularly at the back.

21:59Gabriel coming on was a big plus. Yeah, they've started to look vulnerable, haven't they? A little bit. And people, I think, would have assumed that when they pick up these inevitable injuries, which every team gets, the other players that they've signed to strengthen themselves will just slot in. And I don't think... Listen, they're still picking up points. They're still top of the league. But then they are noticeably lower in the form table than are Villa and City. So what I would say is, I think that right now, I think if Arsenal win sort of ugly or they just get over the line or whatever. People don't lend that, well, play badly and winning to them, what they do with Manchester City.

22:36Because they've got so close over the last couple of years. Yeah, but what I would say, the only thing I would say is the vibes at Manchester City seem to be more cheery than at Arsenal because Arsenal, the nerves are there now. It's early on in the season, but I think Arsenal fans are nervous. They're going into every game going, oh, blimey, don't mess it up. Yeah, and they'd rather be in the, weirdly, they'd probably rather be in the position Man City are in where Chase is. They'd rather be chasing. Yeah, I know what you mean. So with the game, obviously, there were two goals to the good. I mean, in that first half, Arsenal should have been more than a goal up.

23:07Obviously, the second goal comes into the seven minutes in the second half. It's an own goal as well. I know they all count. You don't chalk off own goals, but still. Ideally, you want one of your own players to put the ball in their net. But they didn't put away those chances. And that's what I mean when there's a nervous energy that creeps into the Emirates. And even Arsenal fans watching, you know, on the TVs, that it's like... They're always like that though. No, but I think this season they are acutely aware of what an opportunity this is. But, you know, that is part of the makeup, the DNA of what Arsenal fans are like.

23:40And we've had a holiday from that under Arteta for a couple of years because people at Arsenal have been like, oh, it's great that we're good again. And we're grateful to be second. But when you say the DNA, it's the circumstances. They're very demanding. Very quick to be upset when things don't go their way. Which fan base is this? I'm just listen to what I'm saying memos they were putting their memos out towards the end they love a letter well okay towards the end now that's more towards the end of Wenger it was shit then they change it up it doesn't quite work out with Emery Arteta comes in and the narrative around Arteta five years in or whatever it is now is that he's basically rebuilt the club which needed to be done so for the first period of that it's like okay give him a chance then they started to get quite good and it was a holiday to be good again because fucking hell, we're good again.

24:28Yeah, yeah, they were good. Now they've moved on another phase where they're coming back to where they were before where it's demanding again. So that's always going to be the case and they've got to manage that, which is why I think the best way, if you could have your luxury of choice around this, the best way would be you are going toe-to-toe with Man City all season but you're second. Yeah. And then last couple of games you nick it. Yep. All of a sudden you've won the lead and then the whole thing's different. When you're leading from the front, as Peter said, having not done it before, having come up just short more than once, it brings its own pressure.

25:00And I also just think, look, I've watched them a lot. I just think they're starting to creak a little bit. And don't take it personally, Arsenal fans. I just think players have gone missing because they've been injured and they've not found it as smooth a transition into the players they need to bring in. And you've got issues around things like Giocares and things like that. So I think there's just a creakiness there which I don't think Man City have got and I don't think that Aston Villa are thinking of themselves in the same way. Oh, Aston Villa won't be scared. No. But I think that's the beauty.

25:30I think that what Pete was saying earlier and I think a lot of people have been thinking is when you play Arsenal and Man City there's no reason to be hugely fearful. Of course you're playing against the two you know, the top two of the league and I think people would probably say the best two teams in the league. I'm more scared about playing Aston Villa. Yeah. So, but that does lend itself to an intriguing Premier League season. Who knows? one of them might jet away in the coming months or not. But right now, just enjoy it. I would think of it like an old Western. Yes. You've got Arsenal, the sheriff, all the pressures on them.

26:08They've got to keep law and order in this town, right? Man City, the old semi-retired sheriff where everyone loves, who's locked up loads of varmints already and everyone loves him. And Aston Villa are the outlaws. They're Billy the Kid coming in, causing mayhem. Who are the magnificent seven? You'd rather be Villa. you'd rather be Emilio Estevez than you would be the sheriff so Villa are one of the Magnificent Seven I don't know where you go with the Magnificent Seven Sunderland I'm not familiar with the story yeah there you go just seven people who did really well what you're pitching that are you it's my film the Magnificent Seven where seven entities could be a business could be people could be a horse just do really well do really well just do really well brilliant I was building up to try and get a fuller in there but there we are who are famously 10th.

26:56It's the man who is at 10. He's not violently 10. Wow. Let's see after this round of games. Let's just enjoy it while it's there. But Arsenal, yeah, four of their last six goals have been own goals for opponents. And I know Arsenal fans are really going to say, they still count. They do. Can you rely on it, Peter? You can't rely on it. Is that the biggest thing that Victor Jokic is right now? Is the fact that it's kind of like, or is it because of him? Our defender's so terrified. They're like, ah, just put the ball in. I don't think it's that. Yeah, poor old Big Vic. But I think Arteta will be desperate to have Havertz back.

27:27Yep. I know it's a bit of a shame that he had a bit of a setback over Christmas. I mean, Arteta's famously very reticent to give any injury information out at all. But I think he'll be desperate to get Havertz in there. I think that Gokka has missed another big chance early in this game. And it'll be... Will it be ironic? I've got a really key part of what's ironic or what isn't these days in the post-modern world. Yes, of course. But the idea that they've been almost like pressured by the football community generally to buy a striker for loads of money. And they finally do it. And he's now the biggest problem in their team.

28:00I mean, the problem for Xhocari is he needs a year bedding into that side, really. I don't think that is the problem. Do you want to hear what I think the problem is? No. He's just not good enough. I think... Yeah, but he's not this bad, though, is he? I listen to Jim on it. I completely agree with Jim. Jim's spot on with it. he doesn't look fast enough in the Premier League he takes too many touches he's not instinctive so getting his shot away and talking about how slow he is that's a confidence thing do you? no no no I don't that was something there was rumours wasn't there I think it was suggested that Liverpool had a good look at him the guy they signed hasn't pulled up trees although I appreciate he's injured right now well FNTK's doing great he is doing great sign two of them one of them will work that's it where's Victor Ossiman yeah sign two of them call Victor there we are keep changing their clothes around People would be far off the scent.

28:49Yeah, you'd never tell the difference between those two. So I think with Jokhorej, I think it was suggested that Liverpool looked at him. That was one of their concerns, was despite the goals he scored in the Portuguese top flight. 68 and 66. I mean, he's got to be better than this. It's Mario Jardel-esque, Peter. Portugal is different. I don't want to sound like Ray Parler or Paul Maston, but Portugal is different. Much nicer climate. Yeah. Right. But anyway, lovely seafood. But the concern was from the big Premier League side, who I think was Liverpool. We're looking at it. It was exactly that.

29:24He takes quite a long time to get his shot away. Now, in the Portuguese League, with some of the teams you're playing there, that's all very well and good. The cut and thrust of the Premier League. But look, I want to move on though to something. Has he scored against Wolves this season? That's a big question. That's a good question. He did score against Ange Postacoglu, who's Nottingham Forest, I believe. There we go. He was like, this is like being back home. that was a holiday wasn't it yeah gentlemen staying with slightly strange Arsenal related things did you see that Anne Hathaway tweeted with regard to Arsenal winning she said the final things of 2025 brackets special shout out to Owen Goal so I like that can you can you decipher that for us Luke so does she you speak Hathaway yeah I'd bloody love to I'll be totally honest with you come on beautiful woman Marcus what's wrong with that beautiful woman Peter what's wrong with that what's wrong with a beautiful woman Marcus nothing what's wrong with marrying a 15 year old Pete hang on she's age appropriate she's 43 I love it he wants to make sure that stays in the edit doesn't he he's going to pepper the rest of the show with that call back call back call back call back pick the sound to be earlier he'll pepper a few more oh absolutely that's a nightmare for the edit he's thinking to himself it's in between Christmas and New Year they won't be bothered yeah They're not going to work through the night on this one.

30:46Well, as Pete was saying to me earlier, Pete was saying to me before we came on, we were just waiting to get Pete behind the curtain. We were waiting for producer Charlie to do his thing and we're getting ready to set up. Pete was just saying to me, these days they'll put you in prison just for walking up to a woman and saying that she's beautiful. Yeah, I was saying that. That might be why Pete's had a tricky Christmas. But does Anne Hathaway think that Owen Gould is a player or are we giving her not enough credit there? Do we think that she's... I believe she's married to... Is she making a joke?

31:13She's married to an English guy, I think. She goes to Arsenal quite a lot. She knows what she's talking about. She's not daft. And, I mean, Devil Wears Prada 2 is out on the 1st of May, so she'll be doing press, UK press probably, week of 18th, which is Man City Arsenal. So she's going to have to brush up on everything Arsenal. She's going to have to... She's going to get asked a lot of questions by people like you at Absolute Radio. She's going to get asked a lot of questions about Arsenal's title challenge or title throw wings. This is for Arsenal Man City, you're saying? well so the next film Devil Wears Prada 2 comes out 1st of May and the week of the 18th of April is Man City Arsenal so there's going to be a lot of chat about Arsenal in her presses you know Guardiola's going to be asked about her as well and he's going to go oh like Julia Roberts yeah it's one of the weirdest subplots we've had in the Premier League isn't it but I'm happy with it yeah I'm going to go with it but anyway well done Anne for tweeting that out I think that was a really good comprehensive coverage of Arsenal 2 Brighton 1 that we mentioned And no, we didn't mention Odegaard, did we?

32:17Well, Arsenal, yeah. So Declan Rice started at right back. He did, yeah. For Arsenal. So England have got that option there. If you win, Marcus. If you're winning and Declan Rice is playing at right back, I think that you can sort of go, look, they are cutting their cloth accordingly. And look into the Villa match. I mean, you've got Kamara out definitely, Matty Cash as well, and a couple of others out to injury. I don't think it's going to be playing sailing for Villa, but this is going to be the test, isn't it? This is going to be the test, and I'm excited about it. Villa are not going to play John McGinn at right back.

32:44If they went to the Emirates, it's going to be brilliant for the league. Absolutely brilliant for the league. Huge, huge. It's going to be so, so good. It's going to be great. Huge mistake, huge. I also think Declan Rice is such a solid chap that you can imagine that as soon as Arteta said, I'm going to need you to play at right back, he'd be like, no problem, boss. Very true. He wouldn't complain about it. Love it. Well, look, Arsenal are still top of the league when all said and done, despite the second half efforts of Brighton, who themselves have been a little bit disappointing of late, really.

33:08They're all the way down in 13th. I mean, they're only one point above Newcastle United, for crying out loud. Winless in five. But Arsenal managed to get over the line, and they needed to get over the line to stay top because Manchester City went to the City Ground and beat Nottingham Forest 2-1. City won at the City Ground, away from home. Ryan Cherky scored the winner. I tell you what, the vibes are big around that man at the moment. Massive vibes. Are they? Massive vibes. We're doing them on the mailbag tomorrow. We're going to do the top five players in the league this season just on vibes.

33:37He may or may not be in there. Well. He may or may not be in there. You'll have to tune in to find out. Yes. He's in there. He is in there, definitely. Guardiola said of Cherky, some moments I shout at him and some moments I want to kiss him. I love that he... He said that. Maybe not in that tone. No. I mean, he also mugged off Jules, didn't he? Oh, yeah. A friend of the Ramble and former presenter of the Ramble Jules. I WhatsApp Jules, and she said she still loves him, even though he wasn't. She asked him about Antoine Semenyo. Yes. And he was like, next question. Apparently, is he in Manchester today?

34:10Apparently so. Yeah, apparently that's being done. That's the chat. I'm still not friends with Jules because Chelsea were absolutely hammered first half against Newcastle. She interviewed the manager and then suddenly Alfom fell off a cliff. That's her fault. It's worth saying, Peter. I think when I made the prediction after I'm going to win the league, I didn't think Semenu was going to go. On the Cherky thing, I don't know how you guys feel about this, but it's interesting, isn't it? because he doesn't seem like a system player. No. Right? Well, Vish and I said, sorry to interrupt, but when he signed Turkey, Vish made the point, and I agree with him, but he doesn't seem like a Guardiola type of player.

34:47But that's interesting. But this is a different phase of Guardiola. It is. And also, but you could make that, I reckon you could make that same comparison with the type of players that Arteta likes to sign and then him going and signing Eza. Yeah. Because I always felt like, up until this season, I always felt like, Arteta loved like good little boys who do exactly what he said and Ezra's a far more instinctive exciting player yeah but look at the system he played at Palace he had to know that system very well so I yeah maybe I'm being and also when you say good little boys I take the spirit of that yeah but I'm trying to make it I mean it as a compliment to Cherky and Ezra I don't mean it as a discipline I just think they're different types Wadioli you wouldn't think would I agree with you I don't remember you and Bish saying it but I totally agree that there's a more maverick-y touch about him which I think but Guardiola's well aware of that hence that another funny quote about Turkey from Guardiola when he said I forget which game it was was it in the League Cup and he said oh Turkey scored a lovely go after that he didn't do anything but he scored the goal and then he said with that Rabona assist for was it Foden who got at the end of it fucking cut that out yeah he said I've never seen Messi do that he knows what he's got in that player he's trying to mould him into a more slightly systemic sort of player but he also knows that the quality that Cherky has so you can see it in the quotes where his mind is at with that but he also signed Grealish and then basically broke his spirit he got me a treble right he got me a treble now fuck off I mean Grealish's spirit seemed rather alive and well when he was on the back of that open top bus but with Grealish though he was not a starter really for the first season because he knew if I could mould him and get him to play in the system which of course he did eventually for a bit.

36:37So it's interesting with Cherki. He gets that goal, he can produce those moments and it wins Manchester City the game. And because it's a late-ish winner, you have great scenes of celebration. It's a very different 2-1 victory for Man City than Arsenal was against Brighton. And it goes in again to the feeling of what's going on there. Because on another day, Nottingham Forest get a point. I don't think Forest were maybe going to win the game. Jesus was putting the wind up the first half do you know what Pete it's funny with Forrest at the moment because when I saw the play at Craven Cottage or you know it was last Monday night yeah you're right Jesus put a hell of a shift in he didn't let any of the Fulham defenders or let her have a moment Fulham were basically reduced to pumping it long and they pressed really really well and in terms of the dynamic of play Forrest were on top for the majority of that game and I remember thinking blimey, where's this going to come from?

37:31Well, it came from an error, which was the penalty that they scored. Forrest actually never really looked like scoring. Fulham created, you know, a couple of decent-ish chances, even though Forrest were on top. And that's the thing, with this Forrest side under Daesh, it is all classic Sean Dye stuff, up and at him, into every tackle, press him, da-di-da-di-da, but can he get those front players purring and playing in the way that perhaps a really top-level manager would be able to? I don't think ultimately he will, which is why after the summer I don't think he'll be there because I think he will, even though they're down in 17th, just five points ahead of West Ham, I don't think they'll get relegated.

38:10I think Dyche will ensure their Premier League survival. But I don't think they will express themselves in a way that certainly the owner and a lot of the fans would like to. And in this game, again, you saw that. And it was nearly enough to get a point against Man City, which is, again, why I'm not fully sold on them. but would you agree that the feeling around Man City is much more buoyant, say, than Arsenal? Yeah, because you're having a party because you've won it so many times already. Yeah. And you're right to say it's a different phase of Guardiola at City now. He's talking again, isn't he, here and there about what's going to happen after him and he keeps getting asked those questions because he's at that time in his tenure at City now.

38:53So, yeah, I mean, look, you've got to be careful because you don't want to kind of talk about how Arsenal were really lucky to get away with it against Brighton and then Man City because Man City got pegged back and then a Maverick type player scores a winner for them. Yeah. You know, who knows? Who knows what that's going to mean come the end of the season? But I mean, Sean Dyche's record against Pep Guardiola is absolutely appalling. I don't think he's ever beaten him. Yeah. In a lot of games. So, I mean, maybe it's not that surprising. He likes to see it. You can't look at his clubs, haven't you?

39:20You can't look at the sort of clubs that he's good managing. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, it's maybe a touch harsher. You are talking about one of the greatest managers of all time. I'm also talking about, I've just got it here, 17 times he's played him and he's never beaten him. 17, how many... Let me throw it back at you then, Marcus. You want to play devil's advocate. How many games should he be given as chances to beat a quick Pep goal on the side? 100? At least 18. And I think the longer a run goes on, the sooner it is coming to its end. Yeah, every no brings you closer to a yes. That's what people said to me earlier as well.

39:50Yeah, that's Lucas Moore. No, but if I said to you, he's never beaten him, what point does that number become surprising to you? If it's 100? I think in the 20s. Okay. Yeah. Well, we've got some correspondence here from Dave Gargham, who says this on Insta. Sorry for pronunciation of your name, Darv. He says, I thought you'd appreciate this one, chaps. My five-year-old son just heard Sean Dyche on the radio and said, Daddy, is that Venom? Good stuff. I'm sure everybody is familiar with the character Venom played by Tom Hardy. Thank you. No, it's not fucking Venom, mate. It's another one of Tom Hardy's characters.

40:39Now, if you are unfamiliar with how Venom sounds, Venom sounds like this. In fact, you go anywhere in the city praying on innocent people and we will find you. What the hell are you? We are Sean Dyche. Can you do it again, but slow as possible just for the internationals? Sean Dyche. So remember, the first one was Venom. Okay, second one was Dyche. Now, Sean Dyche's former side, Burnley, got a nil-nil draw with Everton, which was a tough one to call of course. Former Man City man Jack Greenish missed the game due to a virus. He did enjoy a Christmas night in London last weekend though. Yeah, I saw that.

41:24Make what you will. My favourite part of the reporting from the newspaper that we won't mention is that at one point him and Kyle Walker were hanging out in the VIP section of Winter Wonderland together. Oh my goodness. Which is lovely stuff. It was Kyle Walker and two female friends and it's like, he's just always got that vibe about him, Walker. And also, Winter Wonderland. He never learns, Peter, is what you're saying. He never learns. Winter Wonderland is probably most punch-ups per capita in London, I'd say. I think so, yeah. Gluvine, you know, seven quid Gluvine and limited space. And outsiders who aren't from London.

42:02Everyone's welcome, though. They are welcome. As long as they behave themselves. Not that they start to throw hands at Christmas markers. As long as they behave themselves. So the report was very detailed about how that sort of night went, because Kyle Walker wanted to go to a nightclub early on. Of course he doesn't. But he didn't want to. Straight to the back club. So Jack went to a bar with his friends, I think a restaurant, and then he headed to a strip club, paid for drinks for all of his friends and stuff. But the bystander was saying, oh no, a friend said that Jack is committed to his partner.

42:31He didn't look at any of the girls. Yeah, I saw this. And he just wanted a drink and I'm going, I need one of these friends in my life. I don't have anybody like that. To me, that massively smacked off the fucking sub-editor and the legal department at the newspaper saying, have you definitely checked this with legal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you definitely? Because we'll just put the following sentences in there, right? The first sentence that goes in there to make sure it's doubly checked is, Jack is in a loving relationship and this was just a venue that was open for some late night drinks. Yeah, that's it.

43:00And the second one is... It's the only place that was open. And the very final sentence of the piece is the following. Jack and Carl were enjoying time off from their clubs and did not breach any rules while out. Yep. yeah there we are strong innit it's good stuff legaled legaled yeah do you worry though for Carl Walker that him and his Burnley side will experience relegation this season what I do worry about Marcus yeah is that their night out ended at the Sanderson Hotel which is exactly one road that way from this studio you're joking we could have been there we could have done we weren't enjoying Christmas with our families thank goodness we weren't because otherwise we might not have been able to laugh and joke about the story in the frivolous way we just did what was your question about Burnley And Burnley going down.

43:42Yes. That's the end of it. Okay. So Burnley and Wolves, you're thinking. Yeah. Right. What about Noddington Forest? Five points above safety. I've said that I think Dyche will see them right. And I think that Leeds United, a loving life in the Premier League with Dominic Calvert-Lewin, him again, scoring what can only be described as an early big fat contender for goal of the season. What a move that was, by the way. A sensational passing move from back to front. Every player involved. Really, really very good. Superb. Yeah, and I actually thought, I watched this game, I bloody enjoyed it. I think this was a lot, there's one or two others that spring to mind.

44:25I would say the win against Chelsea was very good. They also battered Crystal Palace. We're having a bit of a moment, so maybe that offsets it slightly. I actually thought this was probably the best I've seen Leeds play this season. They played really well. They were really good. They didn't deserve a point. They deserved three points in my view. And Sunderland, you know, it's a test for them because of the players they've lost to the African Cup of Nations. But Leeds were really, really very good. I think if they play like that every week, there's no way on earth there'll be anything lower than mid-table.

44:54I love, we're going to talk about Man United after the break. But don't you love it how some players, they can just play a back three just like that. Yeah, I know. Yeah, just switch into it. We didn't have to sign anybody. We're just three seasons of a judgment. Farker's thinking, I should have done this eight months ago. Honestly, the change in fortunes, obviously there must be more going on, but they have been scintillating. Ruben Amrum is a man who has for three years toiled over building his own extension on his house. Oh my goodness. And he's now finally just calling a professional builder.

45:26But his name is just like another wing up. Just like that, the whole weekend. How have you managed to do that? YouTube tips on how to build a house. Can you imagine though, he's going and he's showing them like Glasner's Crystal Palace, right? this is how you should be drilled in the back three right this is how you do it now we just go even Leeds are doing it like come on mate listen Nora but this is all terrible news for West Ham United and we're going to talk about West Ham tomorrow on the mailbag yeah spoiler alert for West Ham it won't be good yeah so West Ham fans if you are listening to this then enjoy the rest of this show and if you do fancy it tomorrow and I hope you do because we are going to be having a go at the board we're getting very much in your slipstream on that we're going to talk about West Ham Should I give people a quick little pre-promotional trailer of one of the things I'm going to say?

46:11A couple of swear words, yeah. Just written in my notes here. 40 million on Max Killman, lol. That's the example of the last we're going to have tomorrow. Yeah. All right. Coming up after this, Ruben Amorim does indeed change his system at last.

46:30Welcome back to Football Rumble, everybody. Manchester United 1, Newcastle United 0. Get that back four in, Peter. Yeah, the oppo won't be able to score against them. Yeah, it's a good point, actually. Hey, a little Boxing Day treat? It was awful. It was really, really, really poor. I mean, Man United were terrible. Newcastle were... Can't you just keep the same formation with one more game? Yeah. Were Man United that terrible? Yeah, they were pretty poor and they sort of allowed Newcastle to... Basically, Newcastle are a team that cannot handle having the ball because when they got it, they can't credit.

47:04And Man United went, have the ball, and they were like, oh no, we don't know what to do with this. And at the end of the match, they were unable to break down a back line populated by 20 and 19-year-olds. I mean, all of our attacking players are available. There's really no excuse at this point. They're really poor. Do you want to double down on your Bruno Gimres shout from a week or two ago? Well, I mean, people are talking about, people are sort of saying Bruno, he's part of everything good that Newcastle do. It's like, they're mid-table tied and they've spent 300 million. Like, it's not a good sign, guys.

47:35guys guys yeah I mean they're 14th just about it's an unromantic it's an unromantic project so I'm being unromantic that's a fair point that is a fair point yeah it's definitely as unromantic as it gets Newcastle United for sure yeah Patrick Dorgou's got a lovely guy beauty he looked good he played further forward didn't he yeah that's right yeah I mean Dorgou was one who you'd say benefited from the changing system but of course Amram did say in September that not even the Pope could persuade him to change his system So who has Peter? It's persuaded him to change the system, do you think? Was it maybe Ad Hathaway or something?

48:11Could have been. Maybe a little bit of food poisoning or something. It's kind of just... Maybe it's his Christmas present to the Man United fans. It could be, yeah. I think sort of Amarim sort of brought Man United... You know like when a hovercraft sort of deflates and it slowly just goes... Yeah, it's very... To being a mid-table concern. So therefore, teams that used to really play a bit harder, day. You know, Newcastle generally lift themselves against teams like Chelsea, teams like Man City. Man United aren't that level anymore, that reputation level anymore, so they don't bother. So people don't get motivated against them.

48:47So in some ways, it kind of works for them being a mid-table team. What do you guys think about... Hang on, Man United are a mid-table team. There's six or three points off the top four. Exactly. Fine. Disrespectful. Again, I did say that large swathes of the Premier League are fibbing. Pete's preferred to two teams as mid-table at the moment. One of them's six and one of them's 14. Did you just think mid-table was the table. Yeah, you got the winner, the relegation, bang them in the middle. And everyone else just... I'll tell you what, for a mid-table side, Wolves aren't doing too bad. Not too bad.

49:13What do you think about the idea? They've got a point at Anfield. The other story that Ruben Amrim kind of gave us was that he selected Darren Fletcher's twin sons in the squad. Yeah. And I thought that was interesting. Bit of heritage there. Don't like to see it. Don't like to see it. What I didn't like to see was just only bringing one of them off the bench. If they come in as a package, they come in as a package, you've got to put them on as a package. Yes, one of them's good, one of them's maybe not so good. And he's thinking, okay, fine, to get you in the package. I like to think that he ran out of time and he thought, I can't remember which of these was really good in training.

49:43I'll get both of them. Yeah, you've got to have a chance. I'll work it out later. If we've never seen them play, as people who don't watch, you know, Man United Reserves all that often, I think it's kind of annoying because he'll be seen as the Sean Longstaff of the duo, aren't he? Right, I know what you mean. Jack Fletcher came on. He was given the nod. and Tyler Fletcher wasn't. Yes. So make of that what you will. Oh, I will. I'll make an awful lot of that. But look, it may be Agmarimi's trying to trick people because they thought, oh, it's going to be a double substitution because they're twins.

50:17But he did it because he tricked Newcastle United before the game because they warmed up with a back three. Well, this has been going on for a while. If you look at the way Man United, this is the big story, I get it. But if you look at how Man United lined up, I think it was against Villa. they at times were moving to a back four out of possession and it was kind of a hybrid system it looked like so it's been going that way anyway and now I just think probably Amarim is being a bit stubborn about it he can't be bothered talking about it and that was backed up after the game he said back four clean sheet Kobe Mayne who is injured I don't need a press conference we covered all the subjects you can all go away and enjoy your boxing day love that yeah I love it if someone's about to his brother with a t-shirt or his half brother Kobe Mayne is injured piss off how did you get in here I've had enough I've had enough so but look ultimately good win for Men United who are in the hunt for Champions League football you have to say that straight from mid-table you have to you have to say that yeah they are in the hunt for Champions League football as are Sunderland Brentford Crystal Palace Fulham Spurs no I don't think it goes down that far on this show mid-table is second to 19th inclusive it may as well have been more seasons it may as well have been the last few seasons with Man City walking Paul Jules Darby did you have a good season yeah mid-table Could have been better Oh dearie me Well of course Peter Some people I don't know who these people are Or where they live But they were calling this The Michael Owen Derby Michael Owen Obviously playing for both clubs He has admitted In more recent times That he has a feud With Alan Shearer The two played up front For England for many many years What a boring feud And this was because Shearer criticised Michael Owen's work ethic At Newcastle Newcastle as I would say United.

52:03Michael Owen said, we don't have conversations and to be honest, we just agree to disagree. Deep down, I actually really like him. But he made a massive mistake saying what he said. Yeah. Surely if he still likes him deep down, then he can try to let bygones be bygones. Although Alan Shearer does strike me as a rather stubborn man. I think so. I think Shearer softens as he's got older, Pete. Would you go along with that? Yeah, I'd say that. Because he's got no responsibilities. Yeah. But I also... I don't think he's going to forgive Michael Owen that easily, is he? No, but he just goes, all his life is now, he's just a bit of match in a day and then looking forward to being able to do a swear word on the rest of his football.

52:41True. But the very idea that society doesn't have to witness conversations between Alan Shearer and Michael Owen is probably a good thing, I would say. I think so. Did you see Michael Owen's ranking of all of the Christmas dinner ingredients over Christmas? I mean, he can't even give 50 % in that. So I think he's well worth the criticism. Why is everything he does so boring? It's so boring. His interview with me wasn't that boring. Yeah, it was a bit boring. You did a lot of heavy lifting. Partly my fault. Yeah. Wasn't that in a sport shop when you had people tap you on the shoulder every five minutes saying, hurry up?

53:16Yeah. I was under a lot of pressure in that interview. Michael, all you've got to do is just talk about yourself. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. But it was a lovely time. Look, I appreciate the fact that you gave me the time. Well, yeah. And you've got to concede on that. No, I think he's a bellend. That's not what I'm saying. I just think he's a knobhead. Well, right. What percentage of the questions were about, you know, Dominic Calvert-Lewin getting in the England squad? At that time, very few. Yeah, because he was about 14 at the time. Very, very few. Oh, you're 14, right, I see. No, but Dominic Calvert-Lewin was about 14 at the time.

53:44Peter, Marcus wasn't 14. We're doing the ramble. He could have been doing it. The interview wasn't in Lincolnshire. Definitely standing down. Yes, Marcus. Get on board. Get on board. Has to stay in. Has to. Yeah. Has to. I'm just trying to keep a joke that he said and remember what the joke was I don't think we should be accepting of Michael Owen somehow trying to rehabilitate his performance at Newcastle United in retrospect he was a disgrace at Newcastle United he was a disgrace I was actually at West Ham like nobody who supports the club that he played for likes him and that just speaks volumes he scored 30 goals in 79 games for Newcastle it's not that bad every club doesn't like none of the club's fans he's played for like him I don't think it's that bad is that true by the way I've just yeah it's true yeah it probably is as I said that I thought that can't be true for those people who've quite simply got better things to do with their lives and to keep up with this the situation is they've already switched off the situation is oh you're still here after an hour good on you is that is that Shearer claims that he asked Michael Owen to come off the bench or something in a really crucial Newcastle United game in a season they were eventually relegated and Owen refused to because he said he was injured and then Shearer said well yeah but he was only saying that because he didn't want to put it in for the team and really give it something.

55:02It was the last day of the season or something. And secondly, because Owen was out of contract and he didn't want to be injured and not get another club. And I just think, if you're Michael Owen and you're fit enough to be on the bench, surely you can come on and try something. Who do you think would win in a fight? Shearer. Yeah. I think we're all agreed there. Newcastle had to sue the FA to extract any value out of that. That is excellent, isn't it? Yeah. There we go. Right. Well, we've come to the end of the show. As I say, mailbag tomorrow we're going to be talking about West Ham and some other what else are we going to be doing we're going to be doing top fives top five players on Vyves we've got a little bit of correspondence about someone who encountered Peter recently as well I'm looking forward to that it wasn't in Lancashire thankfully wasn't it a night club was it are there any bylaws in Lancashire we should be actually aware of although people often talk about these bylaws and it's like the actual law of the land and just chuck it out.

56:00Well, Pete's always a big fan of going to different shops and shouting the words Magna Carta, so he'd be the one. He is, but also, Peter, in your beloved Hartlepool, I believe, up until a very, very specific point in history, it was legal, in fact, dare I even suggest encouraged, that you could shoot a Scotsman with a crossbow who was in the town square after dark. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Was that actually Hartlepool? Well, that's absolutely fine. Well, I believe it was, yeah. If you think about the times when that law was there, it would have been implemented for a reason. Yeah, exactly. When they beat us in the World Cup, knockouts we might need to implement again.

56:29There we are, everybody. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAR's Creator Network. As I said, we're back tomorrow for the mailbag. It's going to be great. So get your ears on that lot tomorrow. Until then, thank you very much, Peter. Are you saying that you should be able to kill Scottish people? It's finally said that out loud. It's finally said that out loud, have you? Thank you, Luke. Thank you. And thank you, the county of Lincolnshire.

57:01The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.