Lose cruise

0:00An extra Champions League place up for grabs, but will Arsenal get one? Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Thursday, 19th February. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Luke Moore.

0:24Whoa. Jim Campbell, Luke Moore. Grief is the price you pay for not resting jury in timbers. It really, really is. What a match last night in the Premier League. We're going to go straight into it. Wolves 2, Arsenal at 2. We'll go to you, Jim. You're obviously an Arsenal supporter and host of Stack's excellent Arsenal podcast. Yeah, I'm just preparing some stats. I'll be there. I'll be ready. All right. I can hear you rustling some papers. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, you start the game by nutmegging the keeper with a header in the fifth minute. By the end of it, you're an absolute meme factory. It's just quite the turnaround.

1:08Absolutely mad. Now, probably one of the stats Luke is looking at now is that Arsenal have won two of the last seven Premier League games. And it wasn't that long ago that Mikel Arteta, after a similarly disappointing result, was saying that, you know, we're going to turn this around. The players need to understand that this is going to be fun. We need everybody to get on the boat. The boat is tiny and crowded and horrible, and it's full of people being sick. There's a big iceberg on the horizon. It's a booze cruise. It is a booze cruise, but you're sober, and it's full of Australian woo girls.

1:42And they're not saying anything. They're just going woo at stuff, and you don't know why, but you can see that iceberg. I think it's like Granddad Dog's boat in Peppa Pig. Right. Always got a hole in it. Always needs some kind of washing machine part to fix the hole. Always sinks at the bottom of the ocean. Needs Grampy Rabbit to come and rescue him. Jim, I appreciate that's a reference you're not going to necessarily get. And good on you, mate, after the morning I've had. Good for you. But trust me, that's what it's like. Also probably quite similar to the boat on Triangle of Sadness, if anyone has seen that.

2:13I haven't seen that. If you haven't, I suppose the title gives you some indication as well. So Arsenal's a bad boat. Is that what we just happened this morning? A bad boat. Unfit. it's unseaworthy. It should not be allowed docking fees. So the stats, the stat I wanted to look at is uncharacteristically for me. Look at his little face. And listen, it's not time to panic, everyone. If you're an Arsenal fan and you're listening to this, it's not time to panic. I would lose it. Come on. I've had that for 25 odd years. It's unlike me to make this, you know, a solipsistic journey through some of the things I may or may not have said this season.

2:49Oh, God. But I do want to just very briefly, if I may if I may and of course if you're a paid patron subscriber to this show there's an option to opt out of my opinions for just$5 a month if you want to the production staff will do an edit for you specifically I said I just pressed the sensor button I'm too hot for TV what's the matter what's the matter lager boy crazy might taste something with these opinions right what I said was before the Aston Villa game after game week 18 that Arsenal looked like they may well be running out of steam. It was a quote that was oft repeated to me after they then beat Arsenal at a 4-1 and a very good performance at home straight after that.

3:32But before that game, Arsenal were rubbing along at 2.33 points per game. Since that game, they've been rubbing along at 1.77. It's a massive drop-off. You could see it coming, I think, if you're outside of it and looking in, you know, somebody who observes football and watches it, you know, quite keenly and has watched it for a long time. You can see this happening, right? Now, does that mean they're not going to win the title? I don't think that's necessarily the case. Does it mean last night is an inflection point of which people are going to talk about for years to come? Possibly, but for either reason, right?

4:07It could be they were 2-0 up against one of the worst teams in Premier League history and got pegged back somehow to 2-0 with a catastrophic error in the final minute or whatever. and then they use that as a platform to fucking get out of the system and crack on. Or that's the moment it kind of went to shit for them. It's up to them. But I don't think this is that surprising. I think this has been coming. And I think the other thing you chuck in there is that the real worrying thing for me, if I was to put myself in the mind of an Arsenal fan, the thing I would be most worried about, it's a two-part kind of point.

4:40The first one is, I don't trust Arteta not to overthink it. and I would be continually aware of how many times Guardiola City have done this. And I know they're not the team they were. I know they're absolutely not fine and all seeing this from their treble winning season when they've been at their best. But when it comes down to it, if this is going to be close, if this is going to be close in May, to me, I want the guy who's done it a million times before. And so it was a fascinating bit of Premier League action last night. Jim I know you're probably sure you could acknowledge that even in your darkest moments it was a really really great piece of entertainment and I thought I said yesterday I thought that they would they would breeze past Wolves and obviously after five minutes I thought well there we go I actually almost turned it off when they went to it up but the second half they see the control entirely they couldn't get out their own way Jim and Wolves had so much for the ball and they just could not get out of their own way well the second half was all of the worst traits that this Arsenal team has so a problem that has been evident a lot recently and has only really been absent when Kai Havertz has been back in the team, funnily enough, and whether the reason for that is just that it's a bit fresh or a bit different, or if it's specifically down to Havertz's traits, it's hard to unpack at this point.

5:53But essentially, there are times in games, particularly where they have leads, where they become so risk-averse that it kind of, it hampers creativity, and what it actually does is it just invites pressure. It invites an existential crisis as well, because the idea of scoring a goal seems like some sort of abstract kind of nonsense. So they don't really even seem to attempt to do it if there's a risk that it will go awry and you'll concede possession. But then after a little while of playing like that, because it becomes so stodgy and so dull, it does give the opposition incentive because they get the impression that Arsenal aren't trying to score more goals.

6:29Arteta is obsessed with control and what better way to control a game, especially a game like this, where you know you're better than the opposition, essentially in every individual battle, to just, you know, to push the advantage to score more goals. But they have not been doing that a lot. And what you're referring to earlier, Luke, it was after the Brighton game or just before the Brighton game that you were saying that Arsenal looked like they were running out of steam. And you did get a lot of criticism for that. And I do think it's hilarious that you are going to kind of say you were right all that time ago, if I may have my rebuttal to that.

7:02That was the 30th of December. It's not that long ago. But one might suggest that we all said that before Christmas, that Manchester City are going to kick into game. But it was only Marcus Speller's anti-Manchester City diatribe that stopped it rising to the top and allowing us to all grandstand. If I may have an aside to an aside as well. He's not here to defend himself and I'm sure he'll have his right to reply tomorrow. We all know this has got nothing to do with Arsenal. It's got nothing to do with Man City. It's got everything to do with the fact that he publicly said Arsenal would win the league on the prediction show he said at the start of the season.

7:37Keep that in mind. Keep that in mind. But yeah, sort of kind of going back to the points I was making, a lot of the matches Arsenal have won this season have been quite narrow victories, and they have felt like a grind, and kind of unnecessarily like a grind. And kind of going back to the point I was making earlier about what Arteta said about the boat being fun. Now, this is a team who looks like they're not enjoying the Premier League. Obviously, it's been very different in other competitions, and the kind draws in the FA Cup have been a factor in that, and the way teams play slightly differently in Europe is another factor in that as well.

8:07but they do not look like they are enjoying it at all. There's no incision there. There's no penetration there. They don't look like that's a team that's going out there, enjoying, playing football, scoring goals, being creative. That is missing. And that's a mental block, isn't it? You can only put that down to a mental block. If I may, Jim, I think also that, you know, when Arteta says that kind of stuff, it makes me feel a bit like, yeah, but that's not really your thing. And that's fine. You know, not everyone's, you know, the crazy gang, right? And what Arteta has been able to do is deliver Arsenal to a position where they're a credible Premier League challenger over and over again.

8:48They've been part of the conversation for lots of different trophies. And he has restored them to a position where they're widely respected, whereas before that, you know, that wasn't the case. But he's not done that by being fun, right? And he can't just suddenly decide in this kind of tour guide type way that we're now going to have a lot of fun together, right? And we want to make it fun. Maybe he's been, you know, he's using English as a second language and, you know, maybe he's been misquoted or whatever. Maybe I've misunderstood the point. I didn't actually see the direct quote. But, you know, you can't, to say something like that makes me feel that you don't actually understand what camaraderie is, right?

9:29I think he's trying to will it into existence. Exactly. And there are many different ways to skin a cat, right? So if you want to deliver results and trophies with discipline and with high standards and do it in almost like a Stephen Bartlett, Jake Humphrey kind of way, which is what he's accused of, I have personal problems with that. But if it works, it works, right? I just don't think you can say, oh, do you know what? Actually, it's getting a bit tough now in the Premier League and we've only won two of the last seven. And man, sit your breathing down our neck. Let's get the fucking unicycles out.

9:57You can't just fucking do that. People aren't going to be used to that. They're going to go, well, what the fuck's happening here now? Right? So, look, I would also say, despite the fact that I like to grind an axe and so does Marcus, despite what our listenership think of him, it's not all about that, right? One thing we should maintain is some perspective because they're still five points clear at the top. They are in pole position, quite literally. There will be a lot of twists and turns between now and the end of the season. It just comes to how they're managed and how they deal with that and how they can overcome these challenges.

10:32What I would say, though, is before we move on entirely, the game on Sunday has got a completely different context now. It feels completely different to the way it felt maybe three, four, five days ago even. And that's fascinating about the whole thing. But before we go on to that, the game, I just wanted to say, Pete, the game itself was a really interesting classic slice of Premier League action, right? Because 99 times out of 100, if the team were miles top of the league, a 2-0 up against the team at the bottom of the league, who are basically dead and buried, despite twitching a bit here and there, they're basically dead.

11:12They just haven't fallen over yet. It's a death rattle. Yeah, it is. You'd think that would be that. But it felt inevitable, right? 2-1 and Wolves having all the play. Arsenal could not keep hold of the ball. It was completely crazy to watch. It was like a neutral. It was incredible the amount of misplaced passes and sloppy passes. There's a point where Leandro Trossard had a chance to pass to someone and he just booted it upfield. There were loads of really, really poor decisions. Again, it has to be a mentality, doesn't it? We know that those players are technically better than that. There were points where they were overplaying when they didn't need to as well.

11:54They time wasted a lot as well, which came back to bite them, basically, didn't they? Yeah, I mean, that's strange. The truss I'd won at the end was weird because I thought he was time wasting at first. But he did actually come off, so I don't know what's gone on with that. But yeah, mad. I couldn't figure out what the problem was because I generally saw the Wigan one, the Wigan match at the weekend, giving them a bit of confidence about how they can control a football match again. But you know what though, Pete? I think that Wigan game, the Portsmouth game as well, unfortunately for me, the type of side Arsenal are, I mean, they probably don't even notice that game.

12:26Yeah. Against Wigan, they were winning so early. They were going to head so far so early. They were ASO. I don't want to be disrespectful to Wigan, but it was a training exercise for them, really. So I don't know if that would have given them that much confidence. The time-wasting point I wanted to make, you guys, wasn't specifically the trossel, I think. It was the thing before that, where they almost deliberately refused to take a corner. And they kind of dressed it up as Declan Rice having a bit of an argument with Ebereche-Ezza. and it took like 90 seconds almost to take the corner. I think what might have been happening was that there was no left footer on the pitch to take one.

13:00So they're probably, it's probably a little bit of it, but yeah, no, they absolutely drug it out. I just think, you know, not that you would necessarily care about this, Jim, because why would you? But like, and I'm sure, you know, you are a human being capable of empathy. You're not a serial killer. So you will understand what I mean here. Three makes you a serial killer, isn't it? I'm not in here. I think it is, yeah. across a month, I think. Right. Too clumsy to kill. That's Jim's title. Yeah. Wearside Jim. I do think it's important for Arsenal. That's Jimmy Carriger, sorry. I'm just going to wait to say.

13:36You've inflated them. But men, because he was the one who, Wearside Jack would ring up the police going, you'll never catch me, Coppa. I've done that. But what came out was, there's no doubt what I have done is disgusting. Sorry, carry on, Luke. But that kind of stuff, Jim, as I'm sure you well know, is... Because sometimes I feel like Arsenal fans of a certain type, I genuinely don't mean you in this, but Arsenal fans of a certain type are like, oh, apparently we're the most insufferable fan base. And this is no worse than anyone else. And obviously they're not any worse than anyone else because everyone's really one-eyed.

14:15But when I was on Twitter at the same time as the game yesterday and I saw people on Twitter, Arsenal fans, saying that that shit was no big deal and they can't understand why people are pissed off about it. Obviously, you can understand why that's fucking annoying. Yeah, yeah, sure. It is annoying, right? Totally. And I know that Newcastle have done it and I know that... Oh, yeah, and actually, you know, Newcastle get a load of grief when they play Arsenal for doing the same thing. But you cannot be surprised when people take Schadenfreude from the fact that you've done that and then been pegged back in the last minute.

14:43Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just how football is, right? Anyway, so I just wanted to make that point. The nature of the goal, the equalising goal though, you guys, was that something that you'd be concerned about, the specificity of the goal? Oh, absolutely. Because again, that comes from either Raya or Gabriel not being clear about what they're going to do. So both of them do a bit of one thing and a bit of nothing and it ends up where it is. I think Califuri is very unlucky to be the guy that bounces off, but it wasn't given as an own goal in the end. But yeah, I mean, that comes from, again, that is a slipping of the fog in the standards, right?

15:22because surely it's really basic for someone to make a call there, for someone to take responsibility on that. So that is exactly the sort of thing that would worry me. And it is the sort of thing where, you know, with the past three seasons having gone the way they have, I mean, last season was a bit different because they didn't really get near Liverpool. But, you know, there's a trauma there, isn't there? And again, this is the sort of thing that makes you think they're not enjoying the Premier League because they're haunted by that. In a way, they're not in other competitions. and I didn't like to see the stuff after I mean obviously on one level I did like to see it because it's dramatic and I love it and I'm an absolute basic bitch for it but I I would be concerned by the reaction at full time as well because it reminded me a bit of when Spurs got beaten handily at home by Aston Villa they showed absolutely no fight in the game as soon as the final whistle went they were all kicking off like Arsenal had 35-40 minutes to fight as hard as they could to make that difference during the game.

16:20I'm not saying they didn't try or anything like that. It was just one of those nights. But to then apply yourself after the final whistle and start shoving players around and causing a big ruckus. I'm not judging them. I'm just saying, if you're Man City and you're watching that, you are rubbing your hands together. It's a sign of mental fragility, isn't it? And individual kind of performances. There wasn't a single player. I think, Jim, you maybe speculated that Rice had an OK game. Yeah, Rice had made it in Capier. Yeah, I mean, Martinelli, every time a player sort of went near him for a bit of an old-fashioned strumash, he just kind of folded.

16:52Rhea was obviously having his very best kind of like, you know, undercooking passes, claiming the ball up high, doing an amazing save, and then fuck up the positioning a little bit for the equaliser. It was every single player had a poor match. Julian Timber looks absolutely knackered in his moment. Yeah, Timber does look particularly knackered. Rest him, rest him. Get his twin in. Get his twin in. Quinton in. No one will know. Do the old switcheroo. Lads, can I also just spare a thought for Tom Madozi, the debut time he scored the equaliser, because he's been given the goal. That's a great story for him.

17:26Wolves have had a really tough time of it. They deserve credit, right? I know it's a kind of three sheets of the wind, who gives a shit, we're going down anyway type performance, but they did still do it. And the kid scored on his debut a dramatic equaliser in the last minute against the league leaders. That's a great story for him, right? and it absolutely is a great story and Wolves do deserve credit so I think it's important that we give it to them now Arsenal look like a team who have played a lot of games but the bottom team in the league worked way harder than the team who's top of the league ran harder they smelled blood and they basically got themselves organised they got themselves coherent they got themselves together and they got a point that they absolutely deserved and again for Tom Adozi that is a brilliant brilliant moment and that is the cherry on top isn't it absolutely and he was he hit that really well like hard and low when you're in a you're confronted with a situation that is essentially chaos and that was absolutely the right choice to make and he got his reward yeah and they're just a point away now from including Derby County's record low points tally so they'll probably you'd fancy to get there right yeah on this side I mean every season recently this has been happening and it's like I'm tempted to go back and watch every game Derby played in that season how did they do that how did they do that It seems quite mythical now, doesn't it?

18:43It does, yeah. Much to discuss on the Stack podcast. The thing about Arsenal has to be said. So look forward to the next episode on that one. Actually, one of the presenters and producer Rory on this very show said before this recording that it may be down to the DJ who has stopped playing the wrestling themes at halftime. Yeah. So, see Rory, you mentioned something pre-show, the Ramble's having it. It's worth it. Sucking up content like a big hoover. You can't have it at Arsenal's show. It's ours. It is also worth adding that the guys on the Arsenal show have already done their response because they do it straight at the final whistle.

19:19So that's already out there for people who want to search for that. But the reason I say that, just to follow up, is because I saw it pop up in my feed this morning just called A Nightmare in Wolverhampton. Well, did you see that there was a couple of streamers invited by Wolves to watch Wolves at Home? And when Saka scored the header, they took off their tops and they were wearing Arsenal shirts. We're living in the banter era. I'm not one to sanction violence, but people, I think everyone, 18 years old, punch them right in the nose. Every single person at 18 should get punched in the nose and then we know how it feels like and we know what the risks are for being a bellend.

20:03We know there's bigger boys out there. There was that streamer on who got nailed. See that streamer they have night. I know Pete's seen it because he sent me at gym, but there's a streamer called Dean the Great. Never heard of him. You could live your life very happy, never known he existed. He's like a sort of influencer sort of shitboxer. Yeah, yeah, right. And he's just at this house party, live streaming, and he's just stepping up to this massive UFC, ex-UFC fighter, heavyweight guy, and just saying to him, I'll slap the shit out of you, bro. I'll slap the shit out of you, bro. Fuck you, bro.

20:32At which point, the ex-UFC heavyweight fighter just puts his drink down quite casually and just elbows him right in the head and he just hits the deck like a sack of shit the best the best bit was he dropped his drink and did the elbow yeah yeah that's right he did yeah he did and then the streamer who's just been absolutely nailed in the temple by a massive elbow he's being held back from this ufc fighter for his own safety right and doesn't understand that's what's happening he thinks that people should just let him go at him and they're like no he's gonna kill you yeah he's gonna kill you that's the era we're living in yeah yeah so how would it work?

21:06Would you turn 18 and you get a letter and you've got an appointment booked? Charles does it with his big sausage hands on. At the palace. At the palace. Bang! He'd be doing it all day, wouldn't he? He'd do it all day. I could do this all afternoon. Get a glass of gin in the other hand. Lovely old job. Let me just picture my brother! And you said you don't sanction violence, Peter. You are one to sanction violence. It's just chiefly on your own person, isn't it you commit violence against yourself every day well look I'm taking a leaf out of Arteta's book who said that they deserve to take a hit and they said enjoyment comes from suffering there we go well he's got you guys are going to preview the Northland derby tomorrow I'm sure but we have to we have to understand that that game has got a completely different complexion now you know if Spurs had gone into that if Arsenal had done business as usual like from a week ago and Spurs stuck with Frank, I'll be honest with you guys, like, I dislike Arsenal and Spurs absolutely equally.

22:10But I got the tickets to go to the North London Derby on Sunday because I thought it was going to be a fucking bloodbath. I thought it would be amazing to be there when Arsenal run about six in against Spurs in their own backyard to see what would happen. Not because I love Arsenal, but just because I think it would be an amazing event to witness. Now, imagine if it's 1-0 Spurs or something. I mean, that would be amazing in its own way. And then you take your top off and you're wearing an Arsenal shirt. Fantastic. And then you get elbowed in the head. You said that out loud. I do actually think, though, if you look at the way Arsenal have performed in the last couple of games, the Brentford game was a bit different, but also had its issues.

22:49They need motivation. So actually, if they play this right, the fuel and motivation of a derby should be what they need. But obviously, they've played three times since Spurs last played. So it's a really, really interesting set-up before the game kicks off. It's shaping up to be a tasty NLD. No, yes, North London, darling. That's right, yeah. People write NLD and I'm thinking NDL. NTL used to make cable television in the north-east. Yeah, and in the south. And the south? Oh, you got it. It's not Tudor crisps situation. I was waxing lyrical about how delicious Tudor crisps were. Well, it just made mad flavours and it never sort of went south of Middlesbrough, it seems.

23:32Shall we have a break so Pete can have a lie down? Yeah, I think so. Can we go after this? Newcastle run riot in Azerbaijan.

23:50Is that the legendary Dwight Gale who missed the chance in the quarterfinal against Manchester City? Is that the same Dwight Gale? OK. Interesting. I forgot about that. Shit, sorry. I turned on my voice changer in the break. There's no doubt what I have done is disgusting. Yes, Steve Bruce there talking about, you know, pretty good championship-level striker Dwight Gale. How rude. Welcome back to the football ramble. In the Champions League last night, Carabac got absolute... They got shellacked, they did, at home against Newcastle United. Carragh 1, Newcastle United 6. They are pretty much in the Champions League round of 16.

24:30Eddie Howe reckons they're not quite there yet. But, I mean, it's fair to say the men and women who were on the EasyJet website and the Skyscanner website in the holding pen at the PSG ground that I was in trying to figure out how they were going to get to Baku for this match, they've enjoyed the£2 pints. They've enjoyed six goals away from home in the Champions League. They've enjoyed an inexplicable four from Anthony Gordon. Wow, what a performance, Luke. It was amazing. First off, certainly. That was a complete performance. We have to acknowledge that on occasion this season in the Champions League, Carabaug have shown a bit.

25:15They're there on merit. They're not a terrible side or anything like that. I know they got whooped by Liverpool and Anfield, but that can happen to anyone. And they've shown a bit. I mean, the fact that they got through tells you that. Obviously, Chelsea went there and found it tough in the group stage, drew to all. So, look, I said yesterday that Carabag have played a lot of games in the Champions League this season. They've had a lot of time to get used to it because they have to do a big qualifying campaign. And they managed to show enough to get through to this knockout phase. I mean, this is as far as they're going to go, obviously, because of what happened last night.

25:46But I thought Newcastle were amazing. They were brilliant because they didn't let up from the first minute. and even though it was two so obviously Gordon scores early great three ball from Dan Byrne and Gordon scores early and Chow scores that nice header after eight minutes there wasn't another goal to the 32nd minute but within that period of time it felt like they could have got five already by then they were relentless and Karabag had no answer to it Anthony Gordon was absolutely fantastic he's been brilliant in the Champions League this season he's a top scoring English player in the Champions League this season tells his own story He's having a lovely time in there.

26:23I like this performance a great deal. And they're obviously going to go through now and then we'll see what happens after that. And the teams have to be looking at that goalkeeper, even though he let in sits Kachalski, but hit the first half, like you said, they had so many chances to score. And he was still excellent. And the Carabao bench, there were some people sort of laughing when the keeper gave away a penalty. It was an absolutely disgraceful performance from the substitutes having a giggle and stuff. I mean, I thought they weren't laughing at the idea that they'd just conceded. I couldn't get out of my head.

26:55Every time he made the save, it was like, Kaczewski, the vanishing point. Kaczewski, the vanishing point. Which is one for the teenagers there. Yes. But he's an amazing, he's an amazing, he's an strange career because he's now an established senior pro, he's like in his mid-twenties. Played essentially the whole of his career, I think, in Poland. Yeah. And he was signed for Karabag, who from like a Polish second division side and now he's playing in the Champions League. Yeah, he was very good. So I felt Anthony Gordon felt like a cheat code, didn't he? Or like a glitch in a game in that first half where it's like if you get the ball to him in that area, he will get through every single time.

27:37It's really, really impressive from him. And also, you know, you mentioned the Newcastle fans that you met in that horrible circumstance. Like they've really like given them something there. they're going to be absolutely buzzing on their Odyssey home. Presumably everybody involved is still travelling home. Yeah, presumably which they're still on. Christopher Nolan's making a movie about it. Did you see that some fans saw a face guard for sports in one of the Carabag sports shops that looked like Stephen Taylor? Oh yeah, it does really look like Stephen Taylor. Yeah, it does. Very, very enjoyable.

28:14That's a sign. That's something. That's something. Anyway, I mean, there was a moment when Anthony Gordon was stepping up to take a penalty that Kieran Trippier really had a problem with. And they ended the half in absolutely trounced and carried a bag. But Stephen Till, I'm thinking about Stephen Till again. Gordon and Trippier were arguing as they headed off and down the tunnel. And fair play to Jules Breach on the sidelines. She proper thumbed that bruise at the end of the match. Like, why were you arguing, gentlemen? What was that about? You know, they're just beating a team 6-1. I mean, they were very flustered that they managed to get it out.

28:48But I got the sense that Gordon was trying to get, you know, Volta Marder on the pens and stuff. And I know that Gordon is the penalty taker, but it did seem quite selfish to be taking another one at that point. Sorry, are you suggesting that Gordon wanted Volta Marder to take the pens? Is that the theory? No, no, Gordon wanted to take the penalty. Oh, I see, I see. I think Trippier, as the captain, was trying to say, look, Volta Marder hasn't scored for a bit. Let's have him. Well, he has, but he's not been great. You know the BBC website does that roundup of those rumours like every week or whatever on BBC Sport.

29:21There was one, was it yesterday or the day before? I don't know if it's true or not, presumably not, saying that Volta Marder's actually quite unhappy at Newcastle at the moment, and he's trying to engineer and move back to Germany. I don't know if that's true or not. That's pretty, yeah, it's pretty established, that rumour. But maybe he's had a falling out with his housemate. His best player. Dishes aren't getting washed. Neil Morrissey. you shouldn't live with your best mate you should not live with your best mate somebody knocked over their big tower of cans they'd made one of my takeaways from last night which I don't know how you guys feel about this but it was that they have an amazing result in the knockout phase of the Champions League I know it's a new format but it's still a knockout phase of the Champions League and they're gonna they do what they do and then I found Eddie Howe's post-match comments almost quite not unforgivable because that sounds too strong but it almost like get into the crux of maybe what people are frustrated with when they do get frustrated with Eddie Howe because he was saying oh yeah the tie isn't over you know and all this kind of stuff and it's like sometimes Eddie particularly you know really passionate fans of which Newcastle are famous for they just want you to say fucking get in there yeah what a great result I'm one I'm as pleased as you guys are a fantastic performance yeah I know he did say that kind of stuff but the energy of it was very much, we've still got work to do in the second leg.

30:42And it's like, fine, okay, clearly you're going to be professional about it, but Carabag are not going to come to fucking St James' Park and win by five. So can you just perhaps throw your lot in with the lads? His default setting is, you know, contrarian and also just a liar. Do you know what I mean? I've never seen, it's very rare that you see Eddie Howe tell the truth. Howe liar, says Dawson. He's just a big liar. And it's fine. I think that's kind of part of the way that he sets up his own brain formation for a post-match. But he says that they've been playing well when they've not been playing well.

31:20It's not delusion. I think it's just a little bit of protection for the players, really. So to see him sort of do that, it didn't massively surprise me. He is quite an arteter-y, dry kind of character. It's getting me excited. It almost felt like the spokesman of a politician who's in some sort of scandal just like repeating something. Get Tindal on it. If you don't want to do it, Eddie, get Tindal in there and do it. Yeah, Tindal's perfect for that. I just think with Howe here, what he's done is, you know, that's a quite draining victory because you've got a massive, massive positive adrenaline spike.

31:49You've travelled all the way to Baku. You're now thinking about travelling back. There's another game, you know, very, very soon, which is, you know, not ideal circumstances because they play Man City after this journey. I think he's just gone, I'm just going to let my mouth answer this one. I'm not going to use my brain at all. Let's see what my mouth comes up with. We want to see Tindall in the post-match, top off, beer in hand, saying we're going to rest as many as we can for the second leg. Job done. Secure the carabag, done. John Ruddy, who sat on the Champions League bench for the first time, just drinking a can going, I've got me bonus.

32:23I've got me bench bonus for once. What a lovely takeaway. What a lovely story. Will someone please think of John Ruddy? John Ruddy. Will someone please think of the 39-year-old John Ruddy sitting on the bench John Thomas Gordon Ruddy John Thomas Gordon Ruddy for crying out loud former Chester City goalkeeper John Ruddy exactly it's a lovely story who by the way has played for England for those of a Marcus persuasion oh has he I don't remember that at all I wonder who that was against fascinating no good point well former Newcastle boss Rafa Benitez is reportedly on the verge of being sacked by Greek club Panthenaigos Apparently, players have been saying that they've not been receiving enough pre-match preparations, some finding that there is not enough tactical analysis available to them.

33:16Is that the boss's job these days? That feels like a deputy kind of job for me. That feels like an assistant's job. Get me the iPad. I'm 65 years old. Fuck off. Yeah, I mean, he's earning an extraordinary amount of money for the Greek Super League. He's the highest paid manager in their history. it's 4.4 million quid a year. That's a lot of scoplos cheese pies, I tell you what. It is, isn't it? Maybe they can't afford to get him a Jason Tindall. Maybe he is having to do everything else. I also read that he's made them used to five formations already this year. So he's doing stuff. It's just confusing.

33:55He's very much the kind of character who would, you know, go too far into the kind of tactics, prep type stuff. So I'm confused that they say they're not getting enough information. I feel like what's probably happening is they just don't understand it. Because it's been like diminishing returns for Benitez for a wee while now, hasn't it really? I mean, it's obviously disastrous at Everton. When he came off the back of Newcastle… He's just listing facts again. Who's the Colombian striker that Newcastle had for a bit? And he was really, really good. And he kept trying to re-sign him every single time.

34:27He was Venezuelan. Yeah, Solomon Rondon. What's Solomon doing? Get him in for crying out loud. But if you look at the Benitez career arc, I mean, he's loved at Newcastle United, right? And then when he finally parts ways with them, he did what even at the time seemed like a really odd move. He basically walked straight into a job in China, didn't he? Like a literal couple of days later and was then out of the loop for a while. I don't know how it went because obviously no one watches Chinese football, but his stats aren't great. and then the Everton period didn't last very long and was basically quite disastrous.

35:01And really, nothing's really recovered since then. A little short stint at Celta Vigo where they didn't really pick up many wins. And now this. I mean, their record, what I would say is like, his record at Pana is good, but I mean, obviously the Greek league is the Greek league, right? I mean, it's kind of similar to Portugal in that way. So who knows? But he's also, I mean, listen, he's managed a lot of clubs and a massive, massive management career and he is getting on. So maybe it's not a massive surprise. Yeah, completely agree. So elsewhere, just a couple of stories to round out the show, if that's all right with you guys.

35:33Jesse Lingard is on the verge of joining Brazilian club Remo after leaving FC Seoul in January. They're a club based in Bellum in northern Brazil. Was Bellum a host city for the World Cup? I feel like we talked about Bellum quite a lot. Well, it's the gateway to the Amazon River. It's apparently the city of mango trees. due to the vast number of those trees found in the city. I know that Jesse Lingard is going places for an amount of money that he clearly thinks he deserves. But I do like that he is trying weird stuff. Definitely. You know what I mean? It's really refreshing, isn't it? Especially for a player where he's...

36:12Like a mango. Very much so. Imagine a mango that close to the sauce. Amazing. Mango lassie, just squeeze it in your gob. Amazing. but yeah he's obviously you know um he's acknowledged that he's unlikely to go on kind of you know european adventures now and he's just kind of he's just enjoying the world isn't he which is great that's a brilliant brilliant thing to be able to do if you if you're talented enough to be able to be a professional footballer and he's using it to just you know have some great experiences and fair play to him i i went on a bit of a wikipedia deep dive on the the city of bel-em it looks amazing yeah it does look incredible i mean where it's situated paint a picture look Yeah.

36:51I also found that the notable people, this is really boring, but the notable people from Belem, there's a supermodel called Caroline Ribeiro, who was born on exactly the same day as me. Exactly the same day as me. Is she the same moisturizing routine? I'll let you be the judge of whose age is better. I mean, I asked you to paint a picture and you just said supermodel. That's all I got from you. Fantastic. One of the Brazil-related little bits of talk that was floating around the WhatsApp group, the Football Rambo WhatsApp group yesterday, was Romario. He's been spotted playing a bit of football, volleyball on the beach.

37:31He looks great. He's 60, I think. And he is in astonishing shape for a 60-year-old. It's a measure of how good a shape he's in that the conversation on the WhatsApp group was debating whether it's AI or not because he just looks too good. But it isn't AI because you see the video. you can see it's real like you can see he took foot volleyball quite seriously after football didn't he and he was really good at it I think he's competed like at international level and been really really good and then he became a politician Romario has led an amazing life he is the reason it was me who wondered if it was AI because I follow him on Instagram which I recommend to everybody and he's always posting AI stuff but it's like him and Ronaldinho and Ronaldo and like loads of other figures like Adriano as well just like hanging out topless in shorts and flip-flops just having a traditionally Brazilian time in the street and it's quite confusing but he does love AI.

38:27When it gets good enough, I think we will see his thousandth goal. He'll just get AI to create and go, see, I did it. That was clearly Harry Kane. You put your head on him, for crying out loud. Alright, then let's get out of here. We're going to be previewing the North London Derby and plenty of other matches tomorrow in the preview show. Thank you for listening to Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Goodbye, Lukey Moore. Goodbye. Hope you enjoyed the show. And goodbye to Jim. I hope you put up with the show.

39:04The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.