Mailbag: Twit tw-who should Crystal Palace appoint next?

0:00Hello everybody, welcome to the Football Ramble Mailbag. Spurs, Palace and Teats are the orders of the day. It's Tuesday 20th January. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Jim Campbell.

0:24Hello everybody, it's Mailbag time and it's lovely that you are with us thank you for submitting the questions for this week's show and remember if you want to submit something for another show you can ask us anything get in touch on xbluesky or instagram at footballramble comment on youtube email us show at footballramble.com friends of the ramble you get priority patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now or on YouTube get involved you've no excuses ask away as the great Steve Bruce once said away then ask away we're going to start with this gentleman from Big Con on Discord hello Big Con he's always around he loves it old Big Con and we love him should Spurs try to capitalise on the situation at Crystal Palace by sacking Thomas Frank and tempting Oliver Glasner away if not who should they go for I can't imagine Glasner will be up for that.

1:13Not the worst idea, Jim. I mean, he's a very, very good manager. You would imagine he'll be on shortlists anyway. It could be an opportunity where they go, we need someone, this isn't working. Consider the rest of the season a free hit. We can get him now, let's push the button and do it. He's also volatile, which goes down very well. Indeed, right? Great platform for him, for his mouthpiece. Good for us. I look at how Glasner plays with the 3-5-2 and I look at the squad Spurs have and I do see areas where actually that could work because if you've got Van der Ven in a back three, the pace that he's got covers the gaps that can sometimes be left with the fullbacks bombing forward.

1:54And I think Pedro Porro would suit playing as a wingback. Take Danny Munoz with him. Well, he could certainly do that as well. I think Spence suits that as well. I think Porro in particular is an absolute cross factory, isn't he? so that would but Glasner hasn't only played three at the back he has he's a much more pragmatic coach absolutely but it is a I mentioned that formation because it's a formation he has had success with and I think it's something that he'll probably take with him wherever he goes because he did it at Frankfurt as well pragmatism is a dirty word at the top of the Hotspur Stadium they tried it with Frank this is part of the issue there isn't it as well I wonder Kudus is another one who could possibly play in that wing back row or tuck inside an absolute stretch you're really pushing the Glasner stuff here I think it's interesting.

2:38I think the flip side of it is that I wonder if this will be a problem for Glasner wherever he goes, certainly if he makes a step up. That system thrives in a low possession style and that was the case again at Frankfurt and I wonder if any kind of club that consider themselves ambitious are going to accept that. I suppose if results start coming, it's maybe not so much of an issue. I think that's a decent point though. Which is partly the problem that Frank's having. Exactly. I don't think that's a bad point at all, Jim, because Glasner's clearly a good coach and I think that he would, he obviously will go to a bigger club than Palace come the end of the season, you would think, or whenever he decides to leave.

3:17Interestingly enough, the Frankfurt boss has just lost his job, hasn't he? Oh, yeah. Oh, more on him in a bit if you've got the time for it. I fucking love Frankfurt. Honestly, keep your eyes on them. Well, go on then. All right, so his name's Dino Topmoller. Immediately brilliant, right? Frankfurt are seventh in the Bundesliga. They've scored 38 goals. Only Bayern have got more with a frankly ludicrous 71. But they've also conceded 39 goals, which is level on most conceded with 16th place Heidenheim, who are a level from God of War. They're not even a real team. So Frankfurt's last three games have been two 3-0 draws and a 3-2 defeat that they took the lead in.

3:55They're just box office. They're a brilliant mix of just like really kind of vital young attacking talent and also just kind of baffling defending. It's great to see. Get him in at Spurs! Topmuller also started his managerial career in Luxembourg and I'll challenge you to tell me any other manager who's won trophies in Luxembourg and gone on to manage in the top league. I mean, I assume... There probably are some. What's his name? Who was the former Real Madrid manager? Vanderlei Luxembourgo. That worked. That worked kind of. Yeah, why not? In the context of this show, that kind of worked. And that's all you should be straight for.

4:33He has absolutely kept that ball in the air and fair play. That play is spinning away. But wrestling it back to Spurs and we understand that Frank is still going to be the manager for the Dortmund game this week. Yes. Tonight? Yeah, we will be tonight, sorry, yeah. Have you seen the list of players Spurs are going to be without for this Dortmund game? Well, I mean, Luke. Let me just listen to you very quickly. Van de Ven, Davies, Dragasin, Palinja, Benton Kaur, Gallagher, Saar Bissouma Madison Kudus Kulisiewski Richarlison and Solanke because Gallagher's cup tied presumably right yeah and so is Solanke Solanke's not been selected yeah him and Dragasin have not been selected for the Champions League squad so they're all three of those I assume Solanke's injured as well and yeah I mean yeah he came on but the point you're making is right it's mad so the context of that just for I just want to put out there is that we mentioned yesterday that the CEO of Spurs puts out this statement and talking about how they want to be more joined up and deliver sporting success and they're resetting and stuff.

5:33But it's very difficult to properly reset when you have this clear problem around availability of players, a clear, very muddy thinking off the pitch, a clear hangover from when you're prioritising commercial success and getting all focused on things like the stadium and making yourselves financially powerful and essentially neglecting the football side. And then you put in a manager who has clearly been the wrong decision. I mean, we can't put it in the future. We didn't know that to start with, but clearly it's turned up to be the wrong decision. And then all of a sudden, the question we're posed here from Big Com, which is a fair enough question, but it's almost like you can't expect just another manager to come in straight away and do whatever and put it all right.

6:23And Spurs fans won't thank me for this, but I do think it's a relevant comparison look at what's happening up the road with Arsenal, right? They have a structure in place. I know people behind the scenes have come and gone. Including Vino and Van Katesham. Himself, right? And then, you know, the Edu thing and all the rest of it. But they clearly went in with Arteta early and said, we've done our due diligence on this guy. He is the guy for us. It may take X amount of years for it to happen, but we're going to stick with him whatever goes on. Now, of course, along with that, he does have to be good.

6:54You've got to have a green shoot. This is the trap a lot of people have fallen into, though, isn't it? I think Emmerim is an example of that. Arsenal stuck with it. They've stuck with it, right? And Spurs have found themselves time and time again in a position where they're not able to stick with it because it's so ludicrously bad that they can't. Now, that to me says the people making the decisions are just as bad. Well, clearly. I don't think any Spurs fans would push back on that. He goes and they change it. So it is a bit of an interesting situation where I don't think that just bringing in Oliver Glasner, who, as Jim rightly says, and Marcus, you back up, may just have the same problems as Frank did.

7:26for the reasons you've suggested. So it's a much bigger question than that. Yeah, so much has been made about the board at Spurs and so on. And, you know, your friend of mine, big Pav Spurs fan, says, you know, the club needs an exorcism. There's a lot there. But surely you can get more of a tune out of those players, though. So there's a lot to kind of go through with the board and so on and so forth. And when you're talking about structures at clubs and so on, a lot of change needs to happen. Absolutely. I don't think anybody would push back on that. But in the short term, you could have someone in who would get a better tune out of those players than Thomas Frank.

8:00Which players though? Because half of them can't play. Well, I mean, this is part of the, this Frank's tenure, if it ends soon, which I think we all expect it to, there'll be a huge amount of kind of what ifs in his mind, given the quality of player that he's not had available. That must be extremely frustrating to have, you know, barely been able to use Madison and Kulisevsky if they've even kicked the ball for him at all. But at the same time, managing those sort of crises is a big part of a job at that level, isn't it? Because they happen to a lot of clubs. Spurs have been particularly badly hit by injuries and particularly unlucky with it.

8:34But you do have to navigate it. It's a non-negotiable. Something else I would criticise Frank for that I don't think he has had enough criticism for is that when you've got a lot of players missing, I know it's easy to criticise, but at the same time, it's easy to use that as an excuse. And what I mean by that is, you're a new manager coming to this club for the first season, you're in your first season. And there's players there who are either young, so they have a massive amount of experience and are looking to be taught a football philosophy because they're looking to be coached. Yeah. Or they're players who haven't played an awful lot or they're new to the league, right?

9:08And you can use plenty of examples of that. So Mouane's new to England. Odebe's young. Bergvail's young. Gray's young. Simmons is new to the league. Telly's new to the league. Spence hasn't played that much. Kevin Dansoy's relatively new to the league. That's eight players who will probably play against Dortmund tonight, right? Why is he not coaching them? Why is he not able to impress his ideas on them successfully enough for them to, by now, when we're in January, have a philosophy where they can actually do something? Because they look totally bereft of ideas. Yeah, indeed. And that's my point is that we can talk about the structures at Spurs and the people upstairs there.

9:43And I think rightly so. That is where the problems lie, really, as a lot of Spurs fans would say. But in the here and now, you've got to win football matches. and another manager gets a better tune out of these players, who could be that man? You look at some of the odds, I mean, Xabi Hernandez is being linked to the role. I can't imagine he would go. It was Xabi Alonso as well. But it's easy because they're available, isn't it? Yeah, and it's London and Spurs are a big car. Fine. I honestly, I mean, I know that some people have sort of been messing around and saying, oh, I'd love to have Harry Rennapp back at the club and so on.

10:15I mean, you know, come on. Ruben Amarim's name's been there. Enzo Mareska. You know, I can't see all that happening because I don't think that those managers would want to jump straight back into a job with such a tricky one, you know. I do think, you know, apparently Marcus Silva was disappointed he wasn't offered the Spurs job. I reluctantly, but look, I've got to say it because I believe it, right? There's no point in saying I'm a Fulham fan so I won't say it on the podcast. But I reluctantly say... He'd probably thank him. Oh, he would. I reluctantly say that I think Silva could get a better tune.

10:46Again, you've still got the club. You've still got all that bollocks going on. and he's you know he can be a miserable so and so Silva as much as I love the man I think he would do a better job than Frank Iriola Iriola Dave Cartlidge is big on him saying that Iriola is base he wants to manage Real Madrid so this would be a step and stone it would be a step and stone I just wonder Luke are we ever I know he's the manager of the USA men's national team at the moment that's what's going to happen I'll tell you for me the most likely thing to happen is Frank will limp on for maybe another week or two he'll go whoever the equivalent of the Ryan Mason is or the Michael Carrick from A &M.

11:20Well, I was about to say Carrick being a former Spurs player. Mason is out of work. Obviously lost the West Brom job fairly recently. Whoever the equivalent of that is, if it's not him specifically, will take him to the end of the season. And then they'll just do what a lot of people have suspected they've wanted to do for a while now. It's just that, go back after Pochettino, like the ex-girlfriend in your hometown that you never quite got over and you've told yourself that it was all brilliant and it was a Champions League final and all the rest of it without actually realising that A, Pochettino basically embarrassed himself in the lead up to that Champions League final, basically treated him and his club like a fun competition winner, which was cringe.

11:59Secondly, for X amount of months towards the end of him leaving, they were diabolically bad. And he was kicking off all the time about not getting players in, right? So all I'm saying is I'm not criticising him as a manager necessarily because I think clearly they've had some good years under him, but it's not going to be everything it's cracked up to be when you go back because what happens is it's rose-tinted spectacles. You forget all the bad stuff and you think, oh God, it's just a comfort blanket and they'll end up doing that. That would be the most likely thing. Look, you mentioned there about Pochettino embarrassing the club on the way to the Champions League final.

12:33What I mean is he felt to me like in the lead up to it because of course it's a one-off game and there's a lot of media responsibilities, interviews, stuff like that. He gave the impression of someone who couldn't quite believe they'd been there themselves. if you remember the way they got to the final was that kind of dramatic stuff with IAC and he felt to me and I think some other Spurs fans kind of felt the same in retrospect like he couldn't quite believe it himself when he was like so fortunate to be there and like it was it felt a bit like a lottery winner and I think it does further speak to the way that Spurs have kind of done things like the old Hugo Lloris complaining about the finalists watch and all that kind of stuff and it's just that kind of vibe and I think that type of thing which was embarrassing from the outside looking at the time is kind of forgotten because you just try to remember the good times when it's an ex kind of manager, you know?

13:19Well, okay. On the last thing, I just wanted to say that I think it would be very surprising if he hasn't got signing caps lined up. He seems to be a ruthlessly ambitious guy. He's not backwards and coming forwards and he's not happy with things, as we discussed yesterday. I think they would have been within their rights to let him go, actually, given his behaviour over the last week and given that he's announced he's leaving anyway. Take a bit of control back. But for them, I suppose it's about finding the right candidate to take over after. So I kind of understand that as well. But to me, you know...

13:49I'd be surprised if he... It's not going to be Spurs. It doesn't seem like it would be. But I wouldn't be surprised if he's not got something else going on already. Maybe back in Germany, maybe in Europe somewhere. But he clearly wants to make that step up to a bigger club with due respect to Palace. Because the way he's saying the things he's saying, I think with a bit of lack of self-awareness actually, clearly he's also intimating whether he means it or not that big clubs don't have to deal with this I'm having to deal with this I'm losing Eza I'm losing Gay I'm losing and that's just something that Palace have had to do even going back further than that with Zaha and Elisa and players like that Warton another one I mean Spurs are really desperate to get Adam Warton right the issue is can Palace keep hold of him it'll be an even more disastrous window if they can't and Glasner is basically saying, I'm tired of this shit.

14:40I think I'm better than this. I've delivered a trophy. I now want a bigger job. It would be stunning if he's not either biding his time for a massive job or he's already got one lined up. I have sympathy with Glasner, as I mentioned on yesterday's pod, but you're right. I thought that he was a bit too over the top. You can't do that. You can't do that. Anyway, next question. A related one, though. So maybe this will dovetail quite nicely from Mark on Insta. Hello to you, Mark. He says, when will you issue Big Ang? In fact, all of Australia an apology about being the cause of Tottenham's injury now I don't remember specifically saying it was Australia's fault but I do think that I've got no issue with chucking Australia no I mean it's my personal and I also know it's ramble policy to never apologise to Australia never complain never explain no indeed I think if anything we should apologise for Australia yeah exactly especially after what they've done to us in the cricket and what they've done to our wish as well and to our beautiful wish so I'm just going to read a quote from Aj Postacoglu.

15:40The hamstring injuries are obviously something we want to get on top of, but it's not new to me either. The way we play, I understand and have done at the clubs I've been at, that the beginnings are always difficult. We play differently and train differently and it takes players time to adjust to that and along the way we obviously pay a price. But the one thing I've never done and I won't do in my whole career is compromise the football team we want to be because we are not quite ready to be there. I'd rather keep going at the pace we're going and it means we're going to have some casualties along the way.

16:07So that's from the big man himself. Mate, mate, look. He said that at the end as well. It's who we are, mate. So basically what he's saying is there's a new way of doing things here. The officially recognised currency at the Tottenham Hotspur training ground is going to be hamstrings. We're going back to a medieval bartering system where you give me two hamstrings, I'll give you a place on the bench. And that's the end of it. Look, Ange was part of this. He's not the overall part of it. It's happened for a long time. It continues to happen. but he was definitely not helping this. No. He was like, you know, if someone's got a really bad illness and you get a quack doctor in, that quack doctor hasn't caused the illness but he's also not helping.

16:51Yeah, exactly. Smarties aren't the answer, doctor. You're making it worse. Smarties might make you feel better psychologically though. True. But they're not a treatment. And the Europa League might make you feel better. Exactly. Psychologically. So do we need, I said, look, we need to give Mark a direct answer to his question. So let's have a little round table. Are we going to apologise to Ange? No. Are we going to apologise to the people of Australia? Never. Absolutely not. Yeah. No way. Yeah. Mark, we're the voice. Try and understand it. Coming up after this, what's next for Crystal Palace?

17:30Jimmy to the B. Lovely beer for him. Oh, there we go. It's my favourite Jim for sure. Same. he's been in touch and says who should Crystal Palace appoint next big ang that's a big question though isn't it it is a huge question I was going to put Dino Topmuller's hat into the ring you absolutely should why not we want him here but I think he's better for Spurs Palace might not want that no honestly Jim scoring a lot of goals whether they win or not it would genuinely be better for Spurs fans do it like when you're trying to sell a house and there's a lot of competition sealed bids who wants to bid the most for Dino Topmuller is it Spurs is it Palace is it Man United United.

18:06Well. You know, you never know. This question is a big question. It is a huge question. And I'm not an expert in Crystal Palace, even though they're my local side. And I actually drove past Lusk Park yesterday, which makes me more qualified than you two guys. And you didn't pick up any expertise while driving past. I ran the window down, everything. I didn't get anything up. But Luke is right. He is more qualified than us. Yeah, just for the fact that I drove past Lusk Park yesterday. Fair, fair. I'm not arguing with that. Yeah. What's interesting about this profile and size of club in the modern game is you have to be really creative.

18:35you have to kind of do your homework in a way that I would say that if you're taking this back to Spurs or even Man United in this case, they have so much choice in a way because they're such big clubs that they don't always make the right decision. In fact, they hardly ever make the right decision in the case of these two teams, right? Whereas if you're someone like, a good example would be Brighton, where you have to really do your due diligence. You have to work on the data. Tony Bloom's obviously very big on the data. And Brighton's proof is in the pudding, right? because they've got Herzler now.

19:05Before that, Ad De Zerbe did a great job. Before that, Ad Potter did a great job. Before that, Chris Houghton does a good job for them and is there for quite a long time, right? Brentford, it could go that way as well. Well, it's threatening to, yeah. But here's the thing. Brentford are that kind of threshold because they've relied a lot on Thomas Frank. Now, the early signs of Keith Andrews are really good. And again, the ownership of Brentford, similar kind of data-driven thing. They appear to have done their homework with Andrews. He was there right under their nose and looks like he might even deliver a higher league finish than perhaps Frank did, right?

19:37With Palace, the story is actually slightly different. The story is basically, we love Roy Hodgson. Yeah, that was my choice. When we momentarily forget we love Roy Hodgson, it goes slightly wrong and we break glass for Roy Hodgson. Now, they can't break glass for Roy Hodgson now because the man's one of the oldest men in Britain. 78. And it's not going to be possible. Yeah, but he's 78 going on 108. And he's done his time. Yeah. And let's not take the fucking piss here, right? So the question is, do they go for an upwardly mobile young coach from, say, the championship and back them to do really well?

20:12Or an elderly owl. Or do they try and replicate Glasner? Yeah, sure. Who's clearly very impressive, probably interviewed very well, has the Europa League under his belt, has managed a slightly similar size club to Crystal Palace, and it's worked quite well. The problem is, you know, back in the day they went to Europe and got Frank De Boer and Jose Mourinho will tell you what he thought about that so it's a really big question is what I'm saying well I mean a big part of this question as well is what are their ambitions now because they're the 13th so as you say they're sort of 5 points off 4th or whatever it was you were about to say 5 points off 5 I was about to say that I love that but you've got to bear in mind I haven't recently driven past Ours Park that's true you're not an expert there's no osmosis there they are 8 points off 4th 8 points off 4th even worse you've driven past Brighton they're also 11 points off the relegation zone at the moment so they're in they're not going to get relegated no they're absolutely not going to get relegated but like their form's not good they're in no danger but they are selling their best players right and they are there seems to be a fire sale going on and you look at Palace at the moment and you wonder what their ambitions are especially given that they're in the conference league and that is going to be reflected in the manager that they're able to get because as we spoke about on the show yesterday I think Glasner kind of airing their dirty laundry is probably going to give some managers a lot of pause for thought.

21:32Now, I suppose the kind of antidote to that is that you just pay what you can pay in the Premier League and managers back themselves to just suck that up and deal with it. But they suddenly don't look like a club that's moving in a positive direction. Whereas, you know, even 15 games ago, they did. Yeah, well, Marcus, you need to bring Sank in here. I do. And it's in the running order. I just bided my time. And he is very much a knight of the realm and a specter at this feast. Yeah. King Eagle himself, the Super Eagle himself. Who have you got to mention here? Sir Gareth Southgate's currently the bookie's favourite.

22:08We'd love to see it. We would love to see that. Stevie Holland's back in business. Come home, Gareth. Come home, Gareth. Steve Holland's only going to get to the end of the season at Man United, you would think. So he's back. He's got a flavour of the Premier League again. Do you see where I'm going with that? I think Gareth Southgate back at Palace. Yeah. So Hodgson until the end of the season. Wheel him out. It's like Hector Salamanca if I could break him down at this point. Yeah, but is he Baron Samadie? Is Baron Samadie old? Well, we never know. You can't kill him, can you? You can't die. Oh, okay.

22:37Yeah. I just remember his massive hat. In a massive hat in the Golden Eye video game. But you know what I'm like, any excuse for a Baron Samadie mention? And rightly so. Yeah, although I slightly have skewed it there, but people know me. It's your afternoon tea. Yeah, yeah. Annoyingly enough. Well, Jim, I get to mention Sir Gareth Southgate, genuinely so I've just got a bit giddy but he is the bookmaker's favourite at the moment right it's a nice fit he did also recently release a book about how to manage within management where he casually like essentially admitted at the end that he's kind of fallen out of love with the idea of football management and possibly football itself but it's Palace it's his club well that's right I think that I don't think that's enough well I don't I ultimately don't have you driven past the last part recently yeah true enough Jim I haven't I don't know what the vibe is I haven't been down there for years which is why I think Hodgson should get involved.

23:27But no, all bollocks aside, I would be surprised still for the reason Jim just gave there and from what Southgate's been doing. I'd be amazed if he came back into management in football, of course. I really, really would. But look, he's a bookie's favourite for a reason. They're not just going to go on some silly punt. They're obviously privy to something. Who do I think Palace should get in? Southgate would be a gamble. I mean, he's not been a manager for a couple of years now. He's not been in club football for a long old time. And a long old time, Luke. Absolutely right. Now, you mentioned about, you know, championship managers and so on and so forth.

24:02There's an obvious one in the championship who's going well, and it's Kieran McKenna. Kieran McKenna, yeah. Kieran McKenna. We've expected him to rejoin the Premier League, and he may well do come the end of the season. Ipswich are doing pretty well, and they're third at the moment. He might want to see that through. His ambition may well be, I'm sorry, lads, you know, he knows how good he is. I'm going to get Ipswich back into the Premier League, and maybe he might even stay or that's his ambition there. If I'm a Palace fan, I'd love to see Kieran McKenna get it. I'm going to part ways, probably with a fair few Palace fans right now, but I've said this actually in the context of Fulham.

24:36Brother Brendan's out in Saudi. Go and get him. I don't know if he's going to leave a gig like that. I think Brendan Rodgers has still got something to offer in the Premier League. Like I say, I'm fully aware. Your love for Brendan Rodgers is actually quite inexplicable. He's been consistent for years about this. I think he plays a decent brand of football and I think that people might think, oh, rightly so, he's not been in the Premier League for a few seasons, but he has been at Celtic. It's a proper club there. Can he, maybe he feels like he has to avenge Chris Dan Ball. Well, indeed. So therefore he shouldn't.

25:11Well, he could be a double agent, can't he? No, he should go there and cleanse his soul. Right. And cleanse his spirit. Because if I'm driving past Salas Park, on my own, so soon after the last time you did, if I'm driving past with Brendi in the passenger seat he's coming out with cold sweats I'm not going to put the Volvo XC90 climate on to cool him down because he's sweating just seeing the floodlights so he might have a bit of unfinished business with Palace generally okay the fascinating take I think he should walk into the interview and say listen last time I came you fucked me over so you're going to have to put your hand in your pocket big time to get ready to come back here right okay you brought up Brendan Rodgers don't blame me I'm not blaming anybody right I'm that's more of a sidestep rather than a pushback I don't think that I don't think that's the most exciting thing no but he's you know the bookies have mentioned him I would go I'm going in order of preference go on so I'll do you five in order you're going five yeah well the five we talked about today okay so the bottom at fifth I'm probably going DeBoer Hodgson okay Hodgson I mean that's I can't even believe you mentioned his name but fine we talked about him yeah fourth I'm going Brother Brendi.

26:21Right. Pardew third? No. I said the five we've talked about. Third, I'm going... Five wins in a row for Brother Brendi in Saudi, according to producer Tom. Does it count or not? Well, it does for me. Tom, that's not a worthy interjection, Tom. It bloody is. Tom, Tom, give me the scores. While he's rabbiting on about his top three, I want the scores. Putting Saudi scores in the running world. Where are they in the league for crying out loud? Anyway, I'm stalling because I can't remember the other three. the point being the number one is top moller right can I throw another rogue name in from the Bundesliga Kieran McKenna would have been another one yeah I think he's a good shout yeah yeah Lucas Krasniok which is spelt K-W-A-S-N-I-O-K and I'm saying that because I want you both to google it and explain to me what is notable about this man Lucas Krasniok Krasniok is how it's spelled okay he's Polish yeah okay right does he look like someone else Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

27:18He looks like Eddie Howe. He looks like a Polish Eddie Howe. He has a very strange habit of wearing the team's kit in the dugout. Oh, I like it. Which is just absolutely fantastic. Just the shirt, obviously. Just the shirt and jeans. And that, for me, is enough to just want him in the Premier League. That shouldn't be allowed. You've got to wear a bib on it. Allow me to transport you to the interview room at Crystal Palace when Kwasniak's walked in. He comes in, he sits down, presumably in a Crystal Palace shirt. You've got the job. absolutely straight away name your price get him in surely he can't he's got to wear a bib over the top of it which would be even funnier I think he might have to wear the away kit when the team are in the in the home kit and vice versa the only photo I can find it's mad innit the only photo I can find of him not wearing it is he's wearing a cold Christmas jumper yeah the only photo we can find of him not wearing it is on his wedding day but it was on underneath do you know what he should no what he should do he does look like a Polish Eddie Howe by the way fine but if he really wants to catch the vibe of modern Britain.

28:17He shouldn't actually wear the current kit. He should wear a retro kit. Yes. That's what I'm saying. That'd be nice. Anyway. That's that done. Yeah. Antonio Lombardo it is. Before I answer the next question, just to let people know, the last five wins of Brendan Rodgers in Saudi, 5-1, 5-0, 2-1, 4-0, 3-2. Come on. Do the team names. I don't think I need to. No, because you can't. I should also apologise to any Polish speakers for the pronunciation of Lucas Kraus. I assume. I don't think that's going to be the takeaway from this section, do you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice of you to do so. Very polite.

28:49Al Kadsia, currently fifth. Brendan is on the march. Coming up after this, it's our turn to suckle on the teat of some football managers. Finally. It's been coming.

29:09Right, this from Peter on X. A lot of good stuff on X. a lot of deplorable stuff as well. Peter says, people keep talking about the league table being a bit of a scramble. Is that because it is a competitive league or is the quality poor this season? Good question, PT, baby. I looked at the league table at this stage from last season and the season before. Well, I drove past the league table. Well, you'd have probably come up with similar observations that I have. And to compare it to the Saudi league table. I could drive past the Saudi league table because my wife was there. Ah, fair enough. Well, she wanted to drive.

29:46No, you don't want to work Saudi now, do you? I'm very happy to. Get involved. I am getting involved. Good. Sorry, Jim. I loved it what Queen Elizabeth II did. What's that? When the Saudi guy, the Saudi guy, the Saudi bloke, the one with the crown on his head, whoever it was, he came over and she picked him up because women obviously can't... Love that. I don't know, can women drive in Saudi at the moment? They can now, apparently. But anyway, at the time you couldn't and dear old Queen Elizabeth II I do remember that. picked him up in the car I was like, Tom, do you want a tea? Tom, do you want anything, mate?

30:13I'm going to go in. Right, Jim, come on, get it out of the way. Come on, Jim. Fucking waiting for you all day. You're talking about the past. So am I. What's the difference? So after 22 games last season, the three top teams had points tallies that are roughly the same as this season. Liverpool are currently fourth with 36 points. And last season, at the same stage, you had to go down to Aston Villa in eighth for a team on the same. So I think the top end of the table was certainly full of teams picking up more points. and this season five points separates fourth and eleventh. I know that's quite a sort of arbitrary set of positions but I think it's quite illustrative.

30:46That was 12 points last season and 14 the season before. So I think we're seeing a trend where the middle section of the table has a lot more evenly matched teams this season. I think there is something in this idea that it is a bit of a kind of weird bun fight where nobody can quite get hold. Well, Man United have joined the middle of the table now, haven't they? Yeah, they've... they're actually they're dodging it up graduated incredibly well I think last season last season Liverpool actually weren't that perfect in winning the title they were just clearly the best team in the league it was Arsenal's title challenge kept tripping over themselves yeah it was pretty poor considering so when you look at the top of the table people immediately think oh yeah it's not as good because again we've been conditioned to think because of what Manchester City and Liverpool and to a lesser extent Arsenal obviously didn't win a league title in you know haven't done for a while but their title challenges have been very good not good enough but they've been up there with with man city going the distance as well you look at those three teams in the last handful of years you think you have to be absolutely perfect to win it man city i don't think they will but they could still win the premier league title this season they've already lost five games let them losing five games in a league season three or four years ago just seemed unthinkable yeah liverpool as well and i say to a lesser extent arsenal last season we started to see it sort of change we saw Guardiola I would say that the Midas touch going people might say you know transition whatever you want to say that's happened there um Manchester United have improved a little bit this season but they were really poor and to be honest when we're talking about the title it's not there people are projecting perfection or trying to project perfection onto Arsenal this season and it's not that's become the standard exactly and people need to forget that as I say really last season it did it was just because there was no title challenge so what that means is when Arsenal or Man City come to town you've got a chance you can beat them or you can push them I mean look at even a couple of weeks ago whenever it was when Forrest pushed them all the way then they lost 2-1 and Forrest are not particularly great not scoring that many goals Forrest won at Anfield as well exactly yeah and Burnley took a point at Anfield and we can point to a lot of results so therefore if any team can take points off any team then there's more points available but has that not always been the case not in terms of the top two too, I would say.

33:03But I think... It's a micro... It's looking at it through sort of in terms of the title. I understand that's not the bigger picture, but I think it's a factor. Yeah, but the thing is I find difficult about this question is that you have to first of all establish the parameters for how you're going to judge it. Right. Because if you're just going to say, oh, well, you know, say, for example, when Leicester won the league in 2016, the points title was a bit lower and every other team was in this weird transition phase and Spurs dropped the ball and so did Arsenal to an extent and blah, blah, blah, right?

33:31That's fine. But that's essentially saying that the environment was created to give Leicester the opportunity to win the league, right? Then Leicester were the best team. To me, it's about more than that. I think it's a far more wide-ranging conversation about things like, for example, something that Andy used to say quite a lot when he was on. The amount of football being played now is so high that the standard doesn't seem to be as consistent, coupled with the idea that something that, say, Michael Cox kicks off about is five subs, which makes it very disjointed. It's changed the game so much.

34:09Totally, right? And so if you are looking at changing your playing personnel around as often as you are now because of injuries, the amount of game being played, the amount of competitions there are, and being able to use five subs. And the increased pace of the game that comes with that. Fine. Yeah, exactly. Then the whole thing does become quite difficult to judge. And I think it's made even more difficult. I don't know who Peter, who asked the question, supports, but a lot of people who comment on football, whether they be big fan influencers or ex-pros or whatever, they have a vested interest in deciding, in quotes, that the league isn't that good this season because their team's not doing that well.

34:49I saw Martin Keogh after the Forest game, just embarrassing himself, just talking to Sean Dyche about that penalty and all this kind of weird stuff. and Martin Keown when you listen to his output for example on Talk Sport is exactly the kind of guy to take it really personally when a pundit comes on and says well the league's not that good this season so Arsenal are going to win it by default which is obviously just a wind up it doesn't mean anything but Keown will take the bait and the whole conversation becomes a load of different factors that no one really properly absorbs coupled with this vested interest in people who comment on the game because they've got affiliations to a particular different club and I think the only way you can properly assess it is by taking into account the amount of football that's being played and the inconsistency between things like rotation of player personnel and the amount of subs, which I agree with Michael, does disrupt the flow of games and changes the pace of it.

35:40So I guess what I'm saying is you are not comparing the league now with the league 10 years ago, just because even though it's only 10 years, it's totally different. Yeah, the parameters are really different. I take those points. But the reason why I highlighted the top two in the Premier League this season is I think that's the reason why people think this. I think that if you look at the promoted sides, they've given a good account of themselves. Okay, Burnley are down there, but they have a fighting chance still. They've not been utterly dreadful. They've been kind of where people would think.

36:15Leeds have done pretty well and Sunderland have been magnificent. So that whole promotion thing, that's slightly different now. you look at the middle of the table Jim as you say people taking points off, I don't think people are looking at the middle of the table or maybe even the bottom of the table going well this is a poor Premier League season I honestly think the reason why people are thinking is this a poorer Premier League season because you do not have an absolutely perfect blockbuster team or two teams blowing everybody away you think Arsenal are I say dropping points here and there, they've won four of the last six but Manchester City have not won in four in the league, I honestly think that is the reason, a big reason why people are saying it.

36:54That would be my thought. There's also, if I was to drill down a few more specifics on the back of what you said, Marcus, Sunderland are a really interesting one because Sunderland are a team who have been together for a while. They've obviously added a lot of players in to an already kind of thriving environment. They seem to have got things right off the pitch. Reggie Labris is a very good, upwardly mobile, coaching first type manager. and they don't play in Europe, right? So they get a bit of space to coach and to train. And they've been able to get themselves into a position as a promoted club where the only teams that have conceded fewer than them are Arsenal and Man City, right?

37:31Sunderland's success has essentially been built on home form, not conceding and being really well organised, right? I wonder whether, I don't know the answer to this, I'm just putting it out there, whether if the league was genuinely that much better than the championship across the board, Sunderland would be able to do that. So that's worth kind of thinking about, I think, as well. Possibly, yeah. If you're organised and you get shit together, because you can go through this list of Premier League teams and talk about the chaos off the pitch on a lot of them, right? Or that they've come to the end of a cycle or the manager's got his head turned or whatever.

38:05Maybe it's just the case that if you are all on the same page and you're a Sunderland side or even a Brentford side, actually, who are above Sunderland, you can actually do all right. And if that's the case, there may be something in it that is not as good quite possibly I also think the Liverpool factor as well they've dropped off I think you might throw Spurs and Newcastle into that as well big teams that are underperforming compared to what you might expect chaos Spurs is more of an continuation but Newcastle are a good one I think people thought they might kick on and Chelsea as well whether it's a poorer quality or not it's a brilliant league season because of what's going on it's been good you know I mean you're enjoying it Jim and your boys are top of the tree at the moment Should I wrestle it back to more familiar ramble territory?

38:49Please. With our final question of the show. Go on then, old boy. From Mark. Much credit to you, Mark, on Instagram. Much credit to you, Mark, for using Instagram to ask a question of a football podcast of this nature. I think that's exactly what Mark Zuckerberg had in mind when he bought Instagram. Yeah, it's not Mark Zuckerberg, but fine. We don't know that. We don't know that at all. So maybe this is the culmination of Mark Zuckerberg's plan for world domination. Is it Mark Zuckerberg? Yeah, I think it's about to be. if you could suckle on the teat of one manager past or present just one let's start off with one see how you like it one manager past or present yeah who would it be?

39:28Steve Bruce Steve Bruce so what the way I'm reading this question is that if you if you suckle on the teat of this manager you get the knowledge you get the knowledge and you get some of the power and you get some of the essence essentially so again Steve Bruce yeah so so with my answer is still Steve Bruce in the Caribbean yeah when he's finished diving yeah go out the water give me a suck you old romantic or I'll give you a suck you old romantic in my younger days I'm hooking right onto Sven yeah yeah yeah yeah as they all did yeah indeed in the younger days you're not going to get the knowledge though depends how young you're going my younger days not his Sven at Lazio and all that kind of stuff you know but I'm talking about my own younger days of course I get some of that charisma not from Sven no I know I just wanted to say I don't want to say well listen I was driving past Steve Bruce's teat earlier yeah it's a landmark isn't it I just wound the window down I just went on the way through suckle away so I think you've got to look at Jose Mourinho right you're going to absorb some of that charisma that ability to just suck money towards yourself poison it or something Jim to teach you a lesson you'd get really depressed yeah also as well he would like I don't know he would put some sleeping tablets and go shut up I'd make Mourinho wear that I hadn't thought of him sabotaging me I'd make Mourinho wear that gold shirt that Bobby George the darts player made when he hit that 180 flapped it down that's decent you have to put that on socials if you haven't seen it he hits a 180 Bobby George and he just flaps a shirt have you seen it?

41:05no he flaps a shirt flap down just shows his nipple off and flaps it back up again yeah it was very much in the man's character that should be the uniform for the managers. You often say, and rightly so, a lot of people would agree with you, of course, that Ferguson, greatest club manager of all time. Surely, it's a bit of a cue to get there, but you'd have a go? Yeah, I think Ferguson would be right at the top of the list for me. If it's going to be some kind of elixir of life type vibe, I definitely want to have a go on that big dinner plate. I think if you're looking for pure nourishment...

41:34In wings. In wings, yeah. Pure nourishment is Ferguson. Possibly Guardiola. I'm thinking pure nourishment at the moment. Daniel Farker surely you'd feel so safe but you would the problem is I think if you start getting involved in it and it's not and you're not ready to receive it it could have some kind of like hallucinatory quality I think if you're not on the same intellectual plane football wise as Guardiola and you have a sucker on that Guardiola it's going to be like a bad trip I was going to say Guardiola just become enthralled to them I think you would oh it'd be like in a bad way I think I'd probably go for Ancelotti yeah would he have a cigar on the go at the time solid solid all round the Ancelotti Do you know what I mean?

42:11And you can already do the eyebrow, right? Exactly. I mean, how far could you get it if you had some of his milk in you? Maybe it's where I got it from, Jim. Maybe. I could like the idea of his cigar ash just dropping on your head while you have another good old slurp. Oh, yeah. All the baby manuals, that is. Use your baby's head as an ashtray. It's not what it says. That's what everyone did in the 80s. Like the old infinite chip bowl helmet, but for cigarettes. Very much Pete Donaldson's idea, not the advice that the NHS give you. No. They simply won't return his email. No, they won't. More's the pity.

42:45So I think Ancelotti as well, again, if you saw him later on, I think he'd be embarrassed. I think he'd be like, ah, I remember you, you were a good sucker. Yeah, how's it going? I'd go, finally, I'd go Graham's Fooness and Roy Keane. Which manager won the most? A bit of frisson of danger with it. Yeah, fair. Which manager won the most milk cups? Yeah. They are, you see. Cluffy. Yeah, probably Brian Cluffy. No, no, maybe he didn't. That would be... That would be too late, wouldn't it, for Cluffy? very much like an Irish coffee oh yeah it would later on in the years it would absolutely Jim did you so you'll go Ferguson no I'm going Sue Ness and King fine I'll go to Ancelotti Jim come on Big Fang no I don't want to go anywhere near that no absolutely not get that away from me you forget about the offside rule all of a sudden you're doing like four 30 minute quarters and you can use your hands I think you should contemporary I'm going for Jose and you're all going to suffer fine fair enough okay fair enough well look Mark we thank you for that question and as I said at the start you can ask us literally anything please do send us your responses opinions and questions for next week's mailbag and become a friend of the Ramble join the conversation on our Discord but thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network we'll see you tomorrow for another Ramble

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