Mailbag: Was Ange Postecoglou the worst Premier League appointment of all time?

0:00Hello everybody, welcome to the Football Ramble Mailbag. player protests Erling Haaland and Big Ang are the orders of the day it's Tuesday 21st of October I'm Marcus Speller I'm Luke Moore and I'm Pete Donaldson

0:24hello everybody lovely to have you with us on the mailbag of course if you want your question on the mailbag do get in touch on xbluesky or Instagram at footballram or comment on YouTube or email us, show at footballramble.com. And of course, Friends of the Ramble get the priority on the Discord. Plenty of ways to get involved, like the following people. This, from Friend of the Ramble, dead fox, brackets in the box, on Discord. A very topical one, Luke. Yeah. Where on the all-time catastrophic appointments does Ange Postacoglu to Nottingham Forest rank? Ooh. I mean, it's up there. It is up there.

1:01It's absolutely up there, isn't it? It has to be. you know, if you look at the list of, of, you know, the managers that have been around for not very long, you know, for want of a better phrase, in terms of days in charge, as you mentioned yesterday, Marcus, Sam Ardice came in there very specifically to do a job. Yes. So not a sack at Leeds. Shearer, Newcastle. Shearer's again, though, I don't think she was a permanent appointment. I don't think it counts. Right. I think it was eight Premier League games. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it has to, yeah. Yeah. it's not these little ones and interims and so on and you have to go back quite a long way to get someone that's anywhere near what Ang has just been through which is Les Reid at Charlton yeah do you remember Les Reid at Charlton I really had to rack my brains but yes but the reason Les Reid is in there though is because he was assistant manager to the manager for a while then the manager loses his job he comes in and just gets given the nod and he lasts seven Premier League games before they replace him at Charlton with was it Alan Palmer It might have been Alan Pardew.

2:01Good Alan Pardew, man. Yeah, and so it's pretty difficult to really ascertain who's worse, but having said that, Les Reid got four times the amount of points that Ange did. So, I mean, it's not great reading for big Ange. I would say he's in the top one. And it's his only job he had, managerial job as the number one. Les Reid is, yeah. Yeah, so you can stick the boot on an Ange. I immediately thought of Frank DeBoer at Crystal Palace. Yeah, that was four Premier League games, wasn't it? Because De Boer, it was a funny situation because at Ajax, he looked pretty good as manager. Obviously, you know, very impressive playing career.

2:38But at Ajax, I remember him, you know, people saying, oh, this guy could go on to be top manager in Europe. And he gets the inter job. And at inter ED, he didn't last very long at all. And one can sort of say, oh, well, was that a bad appointment? You know, what was going on at the club? Obviously, it's a bit further away. So you're kind of thinking, okay, fine. We'll let that go. he said he needed more time and all that kind of stuff as you'd expect then he was announced as manager of crystal palace replacing sam allardyce and palace were in that situation where yo-yo yeah they did but they'd been up and down a bit and they had gone for your sort of traditional british manager if you like uh and it not quite worked out allardyce had turned things around there to allardyce's credit but they wanted to be a little bit more maybe expansive in in the football and I know Allardyce hates it when people kind of say that but I think we all know what they were getting out there.

3:34This is exactly the same situation at Forest you would suggest. They wanted to play better football. Possibly although but the way Nuno left it was a bit more of a funnier situation but maybe that was what Maranacus was thinking and the fact that Postacogli speaks Greek. So does Frank de Boer speak Greek? I don't think so. I think when a manager has had such a great career as Frank de Boer had you do sort of think oh well he's probably got bigger fish to fry. Do you know what I mean? But with that, you go, what's he going to do? He's just a manager. DeBoer only had, as I think you mentioned earlier there, Luke, he had four games.

4:06That's the shortest running Premier League. I think it was seven games in total from memory. Right. Four Premier League games. Did he get a Carlin? Did he get a Carlin Cup in there? He might have done it. He might have done it. Yeah. Was it a Worthington Cup? No, it certainly wasn't back in those days. But they, it was the worst start to a top flight season in, I think, almost a hundred years. because they didn't score a goal either. Yes, that's right. They lost the first team in 93 years to have become a top one season. 93 is almost 100. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give us a letter, Charles. If I said to you, you've achieved 93 out of 100, that's pretty good.

4:42Yeah. It's pretty close. I mean, you can... Pretty close to the top. For a pedant, he's not doing very well on this one. He wouldn't allow anybody else to have this. I'm not having it. What do you think? Is 93 nearly 100? That wasn't the question, was it? The question is nearly 100. Yes, I am. All right. Name a handful of numbers closer to 100. I'm going to go for 99, please, Marcus. There you go. Name 92 numbers further away from 100. I'll have a 93 and a flake, okay? Right, anyway. So, De Boer, it was a bad start. Well, the only thing that kept De Boer going, as we know, the only thing that kept De Boer going for as long as he had at Crystal Palace was the unrivaled and completely bulletproof support of Jose Mourinho.

5:26who was very helpful by asking I think because obviously he was manager where he was manager at the time has called him the worst manager in the history of the Premier League Cheers Joes It's what you need don't you It's exactly what you need It's good to see the community of managers rallying around The managers union Oh my goodness Of course you hear managers on the match these days saying we never want to see a manager lose their job Joes is like that picking his fingernails picking a toothpick worst manager in the history of Premier League hates him next question absolutely hates him is there also an element of Maria that you hated because he was such a good player as well probably yeah well he was a player that's what I'm saying yeah goodness knows but you're right to point out that who was he replaced by Big Roy Big Roy let's get that lovely comfortable English sweater back on show thanks very much we'll be safe now but that was like it was so strange apparently the reason why I think that one to me is is is the most catastrophic because of all the stats Because that was a permanent appointment.

6:25They were excited about it. It came, as you write to say, talking about Ange, the difference between that and Ange, is that he came in, they chose him. They wanted him because Allardyce had run his course or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it was... That's being more expansive to Frank DeBoer's or not. No sooner did he touch down, oh no, back to Roy. DeBoer DeBoer. There you go. But DeBoer did say that he did the interviews and he came in and he was excited to take the job and they knew what they were hiring. And then they refused to sign any of the players that he wanted. He only got two players I think one of them we might have remembered is Yaro Reideveld who obviously stayed there for quite a long time but none of the players were used to playing in the way he wanted to play so it does seem like in a way almost the same way that we say it's not entirely Postococchi's fault that he's not been successful at Forest for all these different reasons clearly there's many different reasons why a manager doesn't succeed yeah of course Wilfred Zaha himself even said oh we just didn't have the players to play how he wanted to play so obviously he takes a decision but at the same time he needs to be back yeah but some managers just fit and Dutch football's a funny one because as I say Ajax did pretty well there hence him getting the Inter job I mean he won in his about he was back there for about six years he won the Eredivisie four times so it shows you that they were turning heads but then Inter he was there for a very short period of time Palace there for a very short period of time then he goes to Atalanta United then Netherlands than Al Jazeera and that's it really and again when he's in I remember with the Netherlands job but he wasn't there very long so when he's in the thick of it it was Euro 2020 wasn't it?

8:00Yes yeah and they were undone by was it Czechia I think in the quarterfathers because he couldn't sign any players they wouldn't sign any players for him he couldn't get Wilfred Zaha so it's always funny isn't it I mean the greatest example of Dutch managers for me in you know needing to go to a job where their face fitted was the curious case of Frank Reichardt's managerial career like basically gets Barcelona back to where they were wins the Champions League wins the Champions League lays the groundwork really for Guardiola to come in by which you mean Guardiola had to come in and get rid of every single person who wouldn't stop partying at the club and start again so before right they're like professional football I do need to stipulate I've set the foundations for you to a lovely quiet home no before before the booze right it was going really well yeah okay Okay, okay.

8:53And they were, no, but in terms of the playing style, in terms of everything, I mean, he brought Messi, hang on, as I'm saying that, did he? He certainly gave Messi time in the first team. Yeah. Guardiola definitely needed to come in and save Messi, specifically from Ronaldinho. So yes. He just tried to drink him. It was a bit of a mess towards the end, of course, but the style of football zone. But elsewhere in his managerial career, he started off at Netherlands, Sparta-Rotterdam, like it was, it was, I mean, he resigned after their relegation. Okay, that's how bad it was. If you get Sparta-Rotterdam relegated, you know...

9:30You can't take a couple of years out, I would say. You don't expect to get the Barcelona job after that. But you do if you're Dutch, and you tell Barcelona that you want to have a coffee of Rinas Mikels. And so you know exactly what it's all about. Yeah, exactly what it's all about. Yeah, true. If you've got the Barcelona DNA, I mean, you could be a serial killer and still get a job. True. And then after Barcelona, Galatasaray, he's under a two-year contract, and they're thinking, bloody hell, I know it ended, but we've got a bit of a coup here. He was sacked, you know, not long after that, etc.

10:05So, anyway, I think maybe it's something to do with Dutchman. But a lot of these jobs you're talking about, Galatasaray, to an extent Inter, you know, for De Boer, I mean, they don't muck about, do they? They do fire managers on old games sometimes. I think also, you've not mentioned that Frank Reich had also spat in Rudy Voller's afro. Oh, come on. That was in 1990 when he was a player. They had to look past that to give him the job. Catastrophic appointments though? Roy Hodgson to Liverpool? Yeah. But that went a lot longer than... Yeah, but the length of time is obviously indicative. Hence, we mentioned De Boer there.

10:44But Hodgson to Liverpool was... They wanted Dal Gleish, who would obviously take over from Roy Hodgson. It was a funny time with Liverpool. But Hodgson... Well, big Phil Scolari at Chelsea. That's a good one. But at least with Scolari, I mean, yeah, obviously a World Cup winner and came with a big reputation. But I think Hodgson to Liverpool, I look back at that and I was like, he was in a hiding to nothing. Because his style of play was very good for a certain type of club in a certain sort of, if you like, position that they're expected to kind of aim for or finish up. It was never going to work at Liverpool.

11:22Tony Adams at Portsmouth. That was in the Premier League. Was that a catastrophic appointment? I think he got 15 games-ish. Something like that. He went to Granada did that little dance and then... Oh yeah, the dance! That was a great gif that. One of my favourite gifs. Didn't he lose all seven or eight? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lost all seven games in charge. It was just not great. Not ideal. If we're talking about Englishmen it's been Gary Neville to Valencia. Come on! David Moyes not having a crisp? No, but at least Moyes is a manager. Gary Neville to Valencia and Phil Neville to anywhere leave off Gary Neville to Valencia the thing you always say about Gary Neville to Valencia which is funny is when Sky Sports went over there and filmed him introduced himself to the players in the dressing room and he's not even bothered to go like he's not even done a McLaren has he no no he's just going alright hang in alright what else is he yeah he said that he said that Gary Neville subsequently said that in a game against Barcelona, who were managed by Luis Enrique at the time, I think.

12:22What, they won 7-0? Yeah, he said Luis Enrique. He thinks, this is Gary Neville's words. Yeah, he did say this recently. That Luis Enrique was so ashamed to be managing against the players at that level. No, I think disgusted. Yeah, he refused to shake his hand. Yeah, but he also felt like Luis Enrique, and I'm sure other managers would have felt this when they were playing them. It's like, how dare you stand opposite me? we're going to show you that this is big boy stuff and we're going to tear your team apart do you think that if Gary Neville had been a I don't know like a more a player that played in an advanced position compared to where he was or just had a bit more razzle dazzle about him he may have succeeded or you know turned two of those losses into wins I don't think it's got any effect but if you're walking in with no portfolio no history rather and basically going I'm here because I played for Manchester United for a long time well that's not why he's there the reason he's there the reason he was there there's that as well the reason he's there is because he was mates with Peter Lim but there's only reason why he would why he would choose him over one of his golfing mates do you know what I mean when you say he's there because he played for Manchester United he's done his badges presumably it's worse than that he's genuinely worse than that has he done his badges well no he has because he was in the I assume he has he was in the coaching setup at Roy Hodgson's England another one there's a few England in there.

13:46Well, Sam Allardyce in England. You know, FA's hands were tied. Sam Hangarchi first. But yeah, I think Neville in terms of a catastrophic appointment, because again, Ange Bostecolo is a manager. Whatever you thought of the appointment, you can sort of say I don't agree with it because of the tactics, because of this. With Neville, it was like, I mean, this shouldn't be happening. And I remember at the time going, oh, this is, I think it was however long ago it was and you were thinking to yourself, oh, is he going to analyse his way to success? He's going to analyse a few losses. Yeah, ridiculous.

14:21Ridiculous. Yes. All right, well, picking up on that, Real Mike Morton on Instagram asks, should Evangelos Marinakis dig deep into the 90s and get Mr. Blobby in to run Forrest? How's this made it in? I mean... To be fair, it's not massively different to Poster Coglu. Not massively different to Daesh, come on. Him piling in, just knocking everything over. Couple of spots on him. Yeah. Unbelievable. Doing quite a bunch of... Blobby, blobby, blobby. Do it... Was that Blobby as Ange? Blobby, blobby, blobby. That's Blobby. Do it as Ange. Blobby, blobby, blobby, mate.

14:54Explain to people who may not know who Mr. Blobby is. He is a psychotic alien, pink alien, a very fat man in a suit who would go around knocking things over on light entertainment shows. Is he definitely an alien? where are you getting Mr Blobby from if he's not an alien I'm just asking if he was an alien or not come on now what planet is he from the female Mr Blobby can have two fathers in one womb as discussed on the main show yesterday yeah was he an alien that's your that's your problem with it I thought Pete did that really well I was reading up on it because apparently the old premise of this which I didn't realise was that he was he started out in a hidden camera type show where he was presented to different celebrities Oh yeah, it was Noel Edmonds' Pretending that he was an established children's character Yes And they all knew who he was Right And so then he would start just doing weirder and weirder shit And then it basically descended into a Noel's house party Him just tearing into the room and breaking everything Do you know what?

15:54Which is a bit like Ange I saw that, you know that You know that clip of The Australian man getting manhandled into a police car Out of the, presumably a Chinese restaurant Get your hands off my penis Yeah, yeah, yeah That guy, I thought he doesn't look like Ange he doesn't look dissimilar yeah he's a bit democracy manifest yeah and I thought to myself what should Ange do right now he should go back to Australia for a succulent Chinese meal get your hands off of my Europa League winner's medal you know you know Jim's always after the most 90s thing to ever happen yeah I'll put this one out there go on very quickly before we move on Mr.

16:31Blobby breaking into the house on keeping up appearances and trashing Hyacinth Bucket's kitchen that's quite 90s that feels comic relief I thought keeping up parents was more 80s maybe no no no either way Hyacinth died a couple of years ago rest in peace she did actually 1990 to 1995 well I stand correct as I often do coming up after this will we ever see a footballer in suspenders

17:10Welcome back, everyone. Here's an email from Greg, our friend Greg. I mean, it's absolutely delighted, I'm sure, that this question is after Mr. Blobby in the running order. What do you think of the player protest in Spain? And what does it say about the future of domestic league games abroad? Will players and fans unite over this issue or will the club owners and broadcasters just get what they want in the end? Will Crinkly Bottom host the game? It's going to be a Serie A game. at crickly bottom Noel's the ref

17:44who's that at the door not now the game's on before we answer this Carson on the VAL Dave Lee Travis on the VAL before we answer this with the respect it deserves a couple of bits more of information here players across the league have stood still for the first 15 seconds of each game at the weekend in protest of the league's decision to play a league game between Barcelona and VRL in Miami in December. The TV cameras, the snivelling little slugs. Oh, this is poor. Yeah, they cut away from the protest. Piss off. Either showing a distant shot of the stadium from the outside or a close-up of the centre circle.

18:18That's so... We know what side they're on, don't we? Yeah, right. Not the drones, clearly. I couldn't get enough of this. That is a proper protest. Yeah, I mean, we can't get blubbing, you know, armbands on our captains. Never mind, like... Should have nipped in and scored. Should have nipped in and scored. Just a quick one. Blasted it. Quick one, yeah. Keep us off his line. No, I'm scoring because I love playing games at home so much. What a little... Break the picket line. I mean, this was Nirvana playing the first sort of few bars of a song they weren't scheduled to play kind of stuff. But honestly, I really do respect what the players did here.

18:56When I first read it, I thought the first 15... I was like, first 15 minutes? Oh, 15 seconds. Okay, okay, you've got to start somewhere. I think it was 15 minutes. It would have been a massive story. Oh, it would have been ginormous. But the bad thing about it, Marcus, is just that... Do you not respect the players doing that? I do, but what I do think it shows is how ridiculous and unthought through the whole thing is anyway. Because you think at some point, when they've cut this deal with whoever it is... The teams that are going to have to travel there. Yeah, have you got the players on board then?

19:24They'll be fine. Yeah, they won't remember. Who cares? They'll just tell them it's another away game. It'll be fine. The king and queen don't talk to the pawns. The players clearly aren't on board with it. so it is an interesting development and I wonder whether it will actually survive and don't forget the whole background to this as we said a week or two ago is that UEFA are saying they're against this they're just saying they can't legally stop it they've reluctantly let it happen sure they're hoping for more legislation to come and to stop it happening in the future they're seeing it as a kind of outlier but if the players don't want to do it that is really tricky because what's going to happen possibly I suppose is when December ticks around maybe the players aren't going to go And then what's going to happen?

20:04Well, I mean... They have to say the youth team or something. Oh, yeah, down till that big... That's even more spicy, isn't it, really, I suppose? But how have they kind of negotiated this quite well-organised kind of protest? How do you even... So it was the Players Union. Players Union, right, okay. Yeah. I mean, just... Incredible. As I said, I really respect the fact that they've come together, the players. And that is such a strong thing for the first... people might say it was only 15 seconds. But just think about that. That is a scene you will have never, ever seen. Even if someone took centre and someone just stood on the ball for a second or two, that would be quite eye-catching.

20:44So the players have made their points very clear because obviously Barcelona and Villarreal, as you mentioned, Luke, in December, are apparently off to Miami to play a game. By the way, if you think that's bad enough, and it is bad enough, in February, I think it is, AC Milan and Como are due to go to... And that's not Perth in Scotland. That's not Perthshire. No. I'd be on board with that. The jewel in the Scotland crown. Perth, Australia. That seems like... If you're going to test the fences, don't go to Australia. Let's go the furthest away we can. The next one, which is a bit closer, I'll be happy with that.

21:19Have a nice, you know, money-rich tour tobacco or something. I can't do that. Come on, it's West Coast Australia. It's not easy. We're not taking the piss. Do it non-stop these days. Yeah, right. I do think... It's stunning. if this is the sign of things to come it will be super interesting in December to see if these players actually want to go because the reason that Serie A and La Liga want to do it is because they want to try and become as successful as an export as the Premier League has been which is not going to happen but they could kind of get a little bit further closer to them I suppose by doing this kind of thing but clearly the fans are against it clearly it's against everything that a domestic league is actually for and if you end up having to take, because if you end up committing to it, announcing it, having to do it, but then the players refuse to travel, as a club, you haven't really got that much leverage because you're going to have to take a youth team or something which defeats the object of going.

22:11And they're not going to sack the players. Well, they'd be sanctioned. They would be, I'd imagine... Sanctioned because it would make the league less competitive, wouldn't it, I suppose? Well, yeah, they would be punished, yeah. Because if any side, say, in a league fixture, like quite clearly played, That's why when you get those ones where... Like dead rubbers at the end of the season where they're planning for a Champions League final or something like that. Yeah, but... Any Serie B game before about March 11th. But even FA Cup ties, you know, when a team plays a lot of youth players, which is quite rare, but I think Man City did it when they went to Chelsea a number of years ago.

22:44And there were people going, hang on a minute, integrity of the competition. Mick McCarthy got fined for it. Yes, he did. The thing is that what you said there, though, with the chat about La Liga and you said they want to kind of get as... as marketable, as close to the Premier League, which is why that was the stupidity of those English sides, Man City, Man United, Liverpool, Arsenal, Spurs, Chelsea, maybe I've missed one as well, when they went and signed up for the Super League. It's like the Premier League is the de facto Super League. You absolute idiots. And you're right. And this is quite, I'd go far and say it's quite sad to see that a very, very, you know, a brilliant league like La Liga, one of the best in the world, for quality, some might argue the best, is doing this kind of sort of desperate thing.

23:33Serie A as well, as we've mentioned. I think it's a disgrace. Yeah, totally. And I think that the TV camera's cutting away, as you say, Luke. I mean, that just tells you where they are. I really hope the players put their foot down and say we're not having it. Because, I mean, Hansi Flick, Barcelona coach, said the players are not happy. He's not happy. He said the Liga have basically not consulted them, they're going to do it anyway. I did find it mildly amusing. Barcelona president, Juan Laporta, who would have been very keen on the Super League, of course, said the match will be definitely a great show.

24:04Nice one. You've really caught the tone of everyone else at your football club, mate. And that's probably the kicker because I suppose the buck ultimately stops with him. But Barcelona, they're in a kind of unique position because if Villarreal refuse to do it, they'll get hammered. If Barcelona refuse to do it, that'll be a big thing. Yeah, everyone has to be on board, which is why when they did that protest for the first 15 seconds, I was actually really impressed with that and thought that's good because some of the teams, including Barcelona themselves, had not been asked by the Association of Spanish Footballers to participate in this protest, but they did it anyway, which shows you again the support they have across the board.

24:39I think that what can happen though is that players can be pretty good at protesting when the stakes are low and when it comes to the crunch, they tend to back down a bit. It happened in Qatar World Cup with the England players. That's a little bit different though, because I know what you're saying. I don't think it is different because I think the litmus test here will be if they refuse to go. Because that's a proper protest. Yes. This is a bit more, I'm not saying it's not good and I think it's a great step along the way, but I think it doesn't mean an awful lot if they all just go anyway. I agree with you.

25:14But I think this is different enough for players to do that. Because when the Club World Cup happened and Ancelotti said, I think it's a load of nonsense when he was, you know, Real Madrid manager. they were always going to turn up. That was another great moment. It's another great example because players were saying, and Roderick was saying that for ages, loads of players were saying that. They all were anyway. My point being, players are good at staying and they back down. Yeah, indeed. Well, more power to them and let's hope that they do something with the power that they have. We've got a message, Marcus, from Stewart on Blue Sky.

25:43Something is equally as serious, I hope. It's better be impactful, Pete, this one. I want us to make sure this is a proper chat about what everyone's talking about in football at the moment. It's a heavy, heavy subject. Shoot from Blue Sky, on Blue Sky rather, I don't know whether he owns it. With shorts getting shorter and players wearing their socks higher and higher over their knees, can you envisage a time in the future where you'll see a Premier League player wearing a suspender belt instead of shorts with the little straps holding up the thigh-high socks? Really catching the zeitgeist there, Stewie.

26:13Catching my sexual interests. Would it undermine the protest that they were doing in La Liga if they were wearing suspenders? Some lovely... Like a Monty Python type protest. It would get more worldwide attention, I'm sure. I think it would. I think men's sock suspenders are more functional, but it still looks a little bit kinky. And footballers used to wear sock ties as well. Could we see like an all-body kind of, you know, I'm thinking, no, cycling obviously would be shorts and top, but that kind of real skin type. But, you know, like, I don't know, like the luge or something. Yeah. Or, you know, a bobsleigh or that kind of thing, or that whole thing.

26:47But the colours are, looks like a football kit, so it looks like shorts and so on. Cameroon did something similar to that Cameroon had the darling ones didn't they they did a big sort of singlet they'd sit there sleeveless and they also had the northern ones sleeveless yeah sleeveless was not allowed they also had the northern ones at one point you're right so it's already been done yeah I would also say I would also say I don't think shorts are getting shorter all the time Stuart I think you might have imagined that there's no way they're nowhere near as short as they were in the 80s nah nowhere near even in the 90s the start of the 90s they got really baggy yeah they've kind of reverted to medium now well you often Players often roll their shorts up, don't they?

27:21Right. Which is quite odd. Let's have jots. Let's have some lovely jots. Or maybe like cargo shorts, the way you keep tools and things in there. What would you keep in there? A little measuring ruler. A little measuring ruler. A little measuring ruler. A bit of electrical tape. Look, ref, they're not 10 yards back. I've got my own measurement. A pencil. Electrical tape. You're going to kidnap someone. Kidnap a player. With electrical tape. To answer the question directly, Peter, though, could you see a Premier League player wearing a suspender belt instead of shorts with the little straps. I can see whatever my AI leg brain can tell me.

27:54So yeah, maybe. I mean, like it would be a departure, Marcus. I could see certain members of the Crystal Palace squad having a problem with it. And yeah, I can't see it happening, but I could see it happening if there was a sponsor involved. Yeah. All right. Like when Nicky Bentner did his pants. That's right. Didn't he? Yes. Paddy Power Pants. Paddy Power Pants. There we are. Coming up after this, can Erling Haaland break Alan Shearer's record?

28:31Welcome back to the Mailbag, everybody. Right, we've got a question from friendoftherambleourball on Discord. Will Erling Haaland break the English top-flight goal-scoring record as opposed to just the Premier League one? Alan Shearer of course is the Premier League record goal scorer with 260 goals whereas the top flight record belongs to Mr Jimmy Greaves with 357 goals Erling Haaland currently has 96 Premier League goals so Pete Donaldson can he do it? I think he'll I don't think he really cares about any of this he doesn't care about human trifles I think he he'll be off to Real Madrid as soon as look at Man City's hundred and odd legal challenges and so I think I think he'll leave before it happens.

29:15I think you're right. It depends on whether Harland's status sticks around. If he does, I think that he'll definitely get Shearer's record. Whereas I think Greaves' record is safe. I can't. 357. Say it again, man. Luke, what do you think? I think Pete's spot on. I think he will move on before too long. I've heard certain journalists, and it might have been our friend Lars, who wrote the book about Harland, literally, saying that he's got a pretty well planned out career where he doesn't want to stay somewhere too long. But then, you know, who knows? I mean, Guardiola didn't want to stay at Man City that long.

29:49We were led to believe at the start of his managerial tenure there and he's still there. So things can change, obviously. For me, though, although I agree with Pete, it's not necessarily just about that. What I think it's also about is when we look at these records and we try and project and we try and think about how many goals people are going to score or how many appearances or the rest of it. It's not just about whether they move on. it's about their fitness and it's about the miles on the clock because you do find some players or Shira himself well yeah Shira was Shira was even more remarkable in the way because he had like a couple of really bad injuries and he still managed to and it's changed the way he played a little bit but he had no knee for like the last three years yeah yeah he would have scored a lot more the classic example would be someone like Michael Owen who started so early people got really excited about how good a finish he was and how quick he was he never really scored that many goals for a player of his position and his body let him down so much that he was done like Wayne Rooney as well Wayne Rooney was done really early because the miles on the clock and the body couldn't stand up to it so Harlan does have the the kind of appearance of a cyborg and I think which is led to makes us believe that he's just unstoppable and he may well be he might be he's had his injuries this season back in last season but he's not going to be unstoppable forever and I think to get another 160 odd goals or whatever it is that's a big effort and you've got to stay around and you've got to always be picked and you've got to stay fit and you've got to not move anywhere else.

31:15There's too many variables for it to happen. And also these days players move to different countries a lot more now. If Shira was around now there's a chance he might do what Kane did. Float around, yeah. We sort of think of him like you say as a machine but I think he could do because he's a bit of a troll online and stuff. He likes to give people a bit of needle. He's quite opinionated. I could see him sacking it in at 29 like Eric Cantona or something. Yeah, I don't think that's a terrible thing. He'll have made all his money. What are you going to do? Chop down trees and play two again? Yeah.

31:49That'll be odd. Yeah. I think the question is if he stays in the English top flight because if he does I think he'd have a great chance. What do you think about the injuries idea though and the fact that he's played so much football already and he's only 25? Yeah. That does come into it but Shearer had his injuries as well and still managed to clock that amount up. I think if you're sitting here, he's the only person I think that you would say, Harry Kane was obviously the other one. Even if Harry Kane had stayed and not gone to the Bundesliga, again, you can't underage it. 260 goals. You get the feeling that Kane's going to be a long-time retired though.

32:23I think it's going to hit him quite hard when he stops playing football. Yeah, but Kane, at the age of what, 32 is he? He's playing the best football of his career. And that's been helped maybe by going to the Bundesliga where there's just a fewer, what, four or however many games, fewer a season and so on. By the way, I don't think he is playing the best football of his career. I think he's scored the most goals of his career. I don't think he's playing the best football of his career. So you disagree with the man himself then? Obviously he's going to say that. Why? Why wouldn't you say that?

32:50I'm rubbish and I'm still knocking him in terribly. Just when he wins his medal. Well, you're better at Spurs, mate. Bloody hell. So he's got 213 Premier League goals, right? Yeah. So even then, if he's going to do this season at the Bundesliga, he's going to have another World Cup under his belt even if he left next summer to go back to the Premier League I still don't think it's cut and dried it it's still a tall order just because over 200 it's still a long way to go he's got to get 48 to beat the record so he's got to get two 24 goal seasons I think if he'd have stayed at Spurs he would have been on for it I don't think anybody would have argued that but I think him going to Germany was a better move but anyway we're not talking about that Peter you've got the last question I do have the last question are you ready for it?

33:33Yes. From Friend of the Ramble Moon on Discord South American and Spanish players always seem to get great nicknames that celebrate either their talent or their playing style. El Phenomeno in Ronaldo La Pulga which is Lionel Messi of course El Jevesito the little chief Javier Mascherano the Emperor Adriano and one of my favourites El Tractor for Javier Zanetti. The Emperor is brilliant. I love the Emperor. I do like the Emperor. And obviously La Pulga is La Pulga which is the flea isn't it for men right well he basically goes on to say well Moon does I'm not sure they're sex meanwhile in England the best we get is Gazza Waza or names like Slabhead One Size Fitz Hall or Dave because Azpilicueta's name was too hard to pronounce should we be more like our Latin cousins and start giving players more positive nicknames or do you prefer our more Pistaki style and most importantly what's your favourite ever player nickname Marcus hi I would like to I didn't know this, but when I had a little glance at the internet when I saw this question.

34:36Yes. Do you remember the Brazilian footballer Wagner Love? I do, of course. He took an anti-tank gun to a party. Now you're talking. That's right. Yeah. It's big time, isn't it? Anti-tank gun to a house party. Make love, not war. Why have you brought that? No one said there wouldn't be any tanks here. I brought an anti-tank gun. I thought it was a cocktail. I thought it was a cocktail. We should have said pro-tank guns. You might be fit in a cloakroom. I smell a tank. Well, anyway, his name is not Wagner Love. I always thought it was. But apparently he got the nickname. Well, Wagner, yes, but he got the nickname Love.

35:10Because of his Playboy lifestyle. Yes. I thought, yeah, that's funny. Like a permitating art. Yeah. You remember when he was in the... X Factor. I don't, but I wish I did. Wagner was in the X Factor. Yeah. Famously. He was like a sexy kind of 20-30-year-old kind of guy. Sexy. Very sexy. Is he Greek or something? You find him sexy? I do a little bit, yeah. he's doing all the right things he's got his shirt up to his navel he's got a lot of body hair lovely moustache and a mane of Stringfellow style hair what more do you want? Was he definitely Greek? I don't know I don't know I've never guessed it as nationality oh somewhere in the Balkans I don't know you should have been Greek-Suprient there he was Brazilian he was Brazilian I mean it's already been mentioned it's already been mentioned I do like Slabhead did Vardy give him that?

35:59I think He certainly mentioned it. He didn't like it. Well, he scored one on the weekend. I remember one tournament when we were covering England. 2018. You found out that he didn't like being called Slabber and you tried to stop us calling him it. Did I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well, I've got to row all the way back then. Yeah. So I hate that one. I hate that one. Part of your anti-bullying campaign but only for one footballer. Harry Maguire and his lovely head. Well, he was bullied for a bit and he's shown everyone once again that he's a man that you should be trifled with. What a great week to talk about him.

36:25That's what I say. He scored it with his massive slabby head. Kevin Keegan Mighty Mouse yeah that's rubbish isn't it it's rubbish is it rubbish yeah I think we're not good at nicknames we're not a nickname-y culture no nor should we be and I think in Brazil nicknames are a thing the storytelling culture is much more different it's very different to the kind of written down culture we have here we're too stuffy I think we are I think we absolutely are so yeah I mean you know what it's like if people are a bit too stuffy if they try and be more like the kind of the sort of cooler or better or more exciting.

36:58Probably wouldn't work, would it? You just become, you move from stuffy to pratty. Yeah. Which are very close, of course. Absolutely. And so I think we should stay well away. But my favourite ever play nickname, John Terry, JT. That's what it says in the tin. Thomas Vermalen, the verminator. The verminator's good, yeah. Das Phantom, Roy Mackay, the ghost. John's the Woodgate was the ghost as well. But Roy Mackay was a great striker, by the way. Yeah, he was. The Tovanade Van... Tatabaya, the wizard of Tatabanya, Joseph Kiprich, and shit, Gary Neville, Phil Neville. Do you remember, well, you won't remember, but we were aware of one of the finest goal scorers in the history of football, Gerd Muller.

37:38Yeah. De Bomber. De Bomber. De Bomber. And I thought to myself, it was not enough time had passed. Yeah. Are we allowing them now? Emilio Britser-Agueno, the vulture. Oh, the vulture. Yeah. Sorry, I thought you were going to say the butcher of Bilbao, but that was going to cheer. But going back to the nicknames here in this country. What about Maradona, the fluff? the culture. Michael Heseltine. Oh, we've ruined the politics. Lord Heseltine. Lord Heseltine. Tory Graham. Great Prime Minister. He speaks quite a lot of sense these days when he's having to pop all the proper right wingers. His nickname was Tarzan.

38:11Right? Right. But no one called him Tarzan on the telly. No. We don't commit to it. Why did he get that nickname? Because I think as a protest in the Commons he ran down to the centre of the Commons and picked up the mace and started swinging it around his head. That's class. But what I'm saying is we don't lean into it. In Brazil, they lean into it. Yeah, true. There's no way, I know they don't really do names in the House of Commons, they did a right honourable member for so-and-so, but there's no way they're calling Tarzan to speak. Two Jags, get up here. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, great one. Paddy Ashton, why was he Paddy Pants down?

38:42Yeah, well, because Emi Martinez is Dibu in Argentina, which is a cartoon character or something. Yeah, so Conaguero as well. Conaguero or, yeah, yeah, that would be the other one. Yeah, but like Dibu, that is that's what they call him that's not said ironically it's not said oh because he that boom that becomes the name that's what they refer to him as I like Wazza yeah we'll go with Wazza then thanks for listening to the Football Ramble Mailbag part of the Acast Creator Network I'm back tomorrow with Vish and Jim where we'll be reacting to the return of the Champions League please do send us your responses opinions and questions for next week's Mailbag and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your pods see you tomorrow

39:29The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.