Mailbag: Where are the statues going?

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4:25Nobody expects the Ramble Inquisition. Welcome to the Football Ramble Mailbag. It is Tuesday, the 29th of July. I am Pete Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Tim Campbell. Let's do it, boys.

4:49Let's put my yoghurt on the floor. Yes, it's... Is that a euphemism? Is that a euphemism, Peter? Yes, on fallow ground, I'm going to spill my yoghurt. Biblical. Yeah, is it biblical? Sounds like it is. It's yoghurt in the Bible. It's an anti-masturbation Jesus creed. Like cornflakes. Yeah. Like Cornflakes, indeed. Yeah, it's a foot bramble, have a chance for you to ask questions? Do you think everyone knows the Cornflakes story? What, that Cornflakes were invented to prevent ornanism in young men? Yeah, by Mr. Kellogg. By Mr. Kellogg. He seems to have spent a lot of his time talking about ornanism in young men.

5:21Kinky little fucker. You need him. You eat him every day first, Mr. Kellogg. See if they work. See if they work, yeah. I seem to be obsessed with this. You seem to be getting a good old grip of the starter handle every morning from what I can make out. Luke Moore. we're basically to let people behind the scenes we're moving studios at the moment and this is the last show that will ever be recorded in this studio iconic studio and he's talking about wanking unbelievable you've just put your yoghurt on the floor and you took a circular saw to your own mic stand I brought my it's not a circular saw it's an angle grinder isn't it fine here we go ah ow ow ow it's back yeah you don't get that any other football show, do you?

6:03No. Probably for legal reasons, I expect. Yeah. Health and safety. Health and safety policies. But yes, we are tearing down... What's it like, the show? They bring angle grinders in. It's like the world's shittest Burghine sex show. Correct. It's like a Ramstein gig, but crap. Well, if you want to get involved in this crap Ramstein gig, you just get involved with the mailbag, ask a question, send us a picture of your dog, whatever. Tweet us on x at FootballRamble, message us on Instagram and bluesky at FootballRamble. Email us at footballramble.com and of course, Friends of the Ramble can get involved and prioritised, let's be very clear, on the Discord.

6:35You can also leave a comment over on YouTube. Do you think people use Blue Sky still? It shone rather bright, didn't it, Blue Sky? And then I get the sense that people have cooled on the old Blue Sky. But you can still get involved. We still check there. Yeah. Yeah, so please do. So, gentlemen, it's been two days since the Lionesses won the Euro 2025 tournament. Yes, it is. And we had a bloody good time with that. Matula91 asked on Instagram, How should we honour Serena Vigman? Make her the new queen, a statue at Wembley, perhaps? I'd do both. I'd do both, yeah. I think the reality of making her the new queen might be quite complicated, though, right?

7:12To overthrow the current monarchy and install a different monarchy. Yeah. I mean, revolution-wise, quite complicated, right? Wasn't there some absolute strangeness over the weekend with Titanic star Kate Winslet and one of the royals? Oh, I don't know. I'll read up on it. I'll get back to you on that one. Yeah, please do. I mean, do we want to reignite the Anglo-Dutch wars of the 17th and 18th centuries and basically force a Dutch woman onto the throne? Yes, okay. It feels quite old England. What, just stealing a resident? Someone just turns up from Holland. There's nothing new under the sun. Gets on the throne.

7:50History repeats. Let's get on with it. Joking aside, statues got to be a must, hasn't it? Yeah. Two in a row. I mean, that's... Yeah. Two in a row and all of the rest. I mean, good God. what a performer it's got to be I mean but is there a kind of not from me but is there a is there a bit of scepticism about having someone who isn't English having a statue to be honest and I've said this from statues of Corbett et al it's very where's Corbett it's very difficult to get the the glasses right on a statue where is Corbett where is Corbett there's a statue of Corbett kicking around isn't there I'm sure I've seen the two Rolls Alesbury oh no Ronnie Barker is in Alesbury I don't know about Corbett is.

8:31Well, Corbett maybe deserves one. He's still with us, isn't he, Corbett? No. No. Oh, God, sorry. Are you out of your mind? I've, uh... I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that small dogs... Angle grinder, angle grinder, angle grinder, angle grinder. I'm thinking I can't wait to get back to my angle grinder. Small dogs live longer. Yes, I am. Like, one of them's a Labrador, one of them's a little terrier. In March, we'll be commemorating Ronnie Corbett's ten years of his passing. I don't know. He's long gone. He's long gone. I'm doing a little Ronnie Corbett. He's long gone. I'm just saying that spectacles are very hard to get right on statues and I just worry we'll get it wrong.

9:05Yeah. But she's worth one is what you're saying. She's worth one. Is statue technology kind of getting better? Come on, yeah. Should just be a big 3D printer job. Bang. Yeah. Really, really life. Terrifyingly lifelike. That'll be the future. Yeah. It's funny how technology is getting better but unquestionably statues are getting worse. Yes. Aren't they? Because of the quality. Serena, we can't give you a statue but would you like a think piece from, I don't know, an ex-football manager who says that you could do it in the men's game because that's what usually happens, isn't it? Whenever she does something amazing, there's always some old footballer in the sun going, you should try and do it in the championship or something.

9:40It's like, fuck off. I saw a Facebook comment yesterday trying to sell a steriliser in case you're interested. Right. It was at the back of the cupboard from when we used to have to sterilise my son's bottles. Yes. The only time I got on Facebook is to go on the marketplace. I made the mistake of clicking on the home button and had something algorithmically served to me about Chloe Kelly. Right. And the first comment I saw was she wouldn't be able to play in a Sunday League men's game. It's like, what are you getting out of that? Yeah, just write it. You're bored of sitting at home masturbating, like Mr.

10:14Kellogg again. Right. And you've decided to post that comment on there. It's like, it's so fucking pointless. It's just, do you know what it is about it? It is offensive and I get that it's super frustrating if you're a champion of the women's game or a woman. I get it. But it's just so inane. It's hack. It is inane. It's just so boring. It just telegraphs that your brain is a boring, dusty place with something interesting happening. You heard something 15 years ago, and you're just regurgitating it every time. And you're just feeling like you have to do it because you're a prick. A load of parrots, but they're not even fun.

10:46If you watch the Olympics, do you sit there going, I've enjoyed that women's 100 metres final, but do you know, actually, everyone? Sorry, just mute the TV a second. Just put your beard down. They're not as fast as the men. Thanks for that. It's like sitting there watching the men going, yeah, but if one of them had a motorbike, he'd win. Pointless. Motorbikes are better than men. Yeah. I mean, you have the vest on. You look a bit like Sons of Anarchy today. Motorbikes are better than men. You could do Sons of Anarchy. You'd be one of the kind of quite poor henchmen in the first episode of Sons of Anarchy.

11:21It gets killed. Is it anarchy when it's a Taking Back Sunday shirt? I've never seen the show, so I'm just making it up as I go along. They're very bad at seeing them. But anyway, in summary, yes to a statue. No to a think piece from an ex-football manager. Yeah, and probably no to the crown could be diplomatically difficult. Right, okay, that's good. That's good, I hope you are safe. Matchula 91. The way the world's going at the moment, who knows? Who the hell knows? Jim. CJ Wonton. Is that CJ from Eggheads who's now dead? He's not dead, he killed a man, he said. He admitted his book. He thinks he killed a man.

11:55He thinks he killed a man. we've all had nights out like that haven't we so CJ's colleague erstwhile colleague Chris Hughes of Eggheads died sadly sadly wish them all the best CJ Wonton from Instagram says how long do you see Thomas Frank lasting this season cheeky question emotionally it's implied in the question employment wise it's very difficult to say isn't it because Spurs have been such a basket case on the pitch last season you've got the good and the bad and I suppose ordinarily you would say well he's probably going to get a bit of a pass because they were so poor in the league last year, any kind of improvement is going to be interesting and it's going to be a satisfactory level for people to see.

12:34But, obviously, won the Europa League and now they're in the Champions League because they're fighting on different fronts. They could do with having another Europa League campaign, couldn't they? Because a lot of the Europa teams were worse than Spurs and the ones that they certainly faced. Every single one of them. Yeah. But, I mean, you don't get to relinquish the prize for winning the Europa League. Can I do this one again because it's a bit easier? No, you can't. you've got to go into the Champions League. But also the other thing that makes it tricky to judge is the fact that Thomas Frank has been in the job at Brentford for so long and the club was essentially built around him, wasn't it?

13:04So again, the sample size is essentially just one club where he had the run of the place. And of course he did very well. No one can question how well he did at Brentford. He was absolutely fantastic. But other than that, I mean, no one listening to this show, I'm sure, really watched him much at Brondby. I don't think he won anything at Bromby, but who knows if he was supposed to or not? I don't. And then before that, he was an age group coach. So the sample size is small. Spurs are a basket case. You also don't know what the ownership of Spurs are going to do because they're pretty trigger happy as well.

13:36Also, what is his remit? Now, presumably, they want him to get regular Champions League qualification for them, as any club of that size would. But if they don't achieve that this season, is that going to be a red line or are they going to be a bit more patient? you would presume they would be a little bit more patient. So I think unless it's a disaster, which I don't think it will be, by the way, I think it will do well there, even without adding to the squad, because you would presume he wouldn't run the players into the ground in the same way that Postacoglu did, so their injury record probably will be a little bit better this season.

14:06We all know that squad is far better than the position it finished in. I think he will absolutely be there by the end of the season. Yeah, I do too. I agree with that. But at the moment, we're driving blind with Frank. We just don't know. but I think it's maybe another way of asking the question Jim would be what does success look like for him for this season at Spurs? Clearly a big improvement on the league position but you'd expect that anyway because you can't mean anything worse than what they did will be a literal disaster With that squad the best they're going to get is like 7th or 8th aren't they?

14:38Which would be fine right? You would think after the season they just had? With the Champions League campaign to go up against us. Maybe Europa League qualification would be the bare minimum actually there we go then well there you go I very much enjoyed the video of Thomas Frank finding out that Spurs are 66-1 to find the Premier League title in their in their house come the end of the season I mean they're not going to win the league I'm happy to say it take it 66-1 well it's not going to happen do I think if they played the Premier League 66 times they'd win one of them no I don't no Luke 66-1 you put a pound down you'll get 66 quid and your pound back and your pound back yeah do you still pay with gambling do you still when I used to work in the betting shop you had to pay you could pay the tax on the money you put in or the tax on the winnings no tax on it now what whoa I'm going back to the to the turf accountancy game have you heard the Danny Kelly story about that no Danny Kelly tells a brilliant story that when when he was living in Islington growing up as a young man they a new doctor surgery opened up no and all of his all of his family signed up to the new doctors but Danny didn't he stayed with his old doctor because his old doctor he used to spend all day in Ladbrokes, right?

15:49And if Danny wanted a prescription, he would just go to the betting shop, tell the doctor what was wrong with him, and the doctor would write out the prescription using one of the bookings, and just take it to the pharmacy. I found out what Kate Winslet's deal with Harry was. I think she, backstage... Prince Harry. Prince Harry. Well, this is the problem. Oh, right. She addressed him as Harry instead of my prince, which upset him reportedly, and he stormed out of the Colbert Report. Did he really, though? Stormed out, Jim. Jimmy stormed out. Surely that's nonsense. Did he storm out? Stormed. Stormed out.

16:24I wouldn't care about that. The protocol's too confusing. I can't fucking remember all that stuff. Imagine you remembering it. No, God knows. I'd curtsy and accidentally... Declare war. Declare war on someone. Sorry, Serena. Right, coming up after this, more Mailbag from you and you, but not you.

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17:48That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Upwork.com. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps, setup, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, Ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University.

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19:34Thank you for all your responses to our rule change chat on last week's mailbag. loads of you suggested your own changes for the new season. I enjoyed that bit of the show. It was good. Yeah, just that bit. Here are a couple of our favourites from RJH4440, probably a better way to say that one. The old Wenger rule, if any part of you is onside, you're onside. Very ironic that if you are 1 % offside, you're offside, but the ball could be 99.9 % over the line, but it's no goal. They should be aligned. The player slash ball has to be entirely past said line for it to be offside slash a goal. this would create less aggro with the villainous VAR lines and it would lead to a few more goals as well surely a positive step for the game I don't mind that to be honest Mourinho hates this doesn't he he says it will mean teams will become even more sort of defensively entrenched he loves that he loves that kind of game though doesn't he well yeah but I mean probably part of the game is using the offside trap isn't it very very well so be an interesting one to see this trialled it does it feels like it would just lead to more goals and it would be a lot more straightforward doesn't it I suppose yeah but It really favours the attacking player, doesn't it?

20:39Yeah, as it should. At the moment, I guess the frustration from a lot of football fans is that you see a toe offside, and that's that. And then the rebuttal of that is, if you're offside, you're offside. The line quite literally has to be somewhere, doesn't it? Exactly. And all you're doing here is moving the line, right? But you'll get a lot of forward players gambling a lot earlier on their runs. And the problem is, I suppose, is I suppose it doesn't really happen that much now because the players' shirts are really tight, aren't they? does the shorts count oh right okay what you can score from I suppose yeah because you can technically score a goal with your shorts yeah would it lead to with the old gooch didn't he unwelcome erections he did hit you over the line unwelcome erections is there any such thing as an unwelcome erection you'd probably better to tuck them between the legs wouldn't it tuck it in the belt yeah because you'd be more on side wouldn't you I suppose tuck it in the belt yeah so absolutely tiny penis players would be at a premium in the transfer market DMH 75-75 the stop start clock if the clock stops for every throw-in, free-kick, penalty, VR decision, you would eradicate all of the Emmy Martinist behaviour of this generation.

21:41Again, the problem with that, though, is that the ball is in play for about, what, it's about 55 minutes in an average game, isn't it? So games would be much longer. I'm a fan of it for certain things. I'm a fan of it for Varchex. I think you have to stop the clock for Varchex because that's something that's coming, is a deus ex machina that made the game stop more difficult. I think, really, I understand that, for example, a player being injured or a free kick being taken like although I'm open to the idea of a shot clock which maybe I can come on to but for example a free kick being taken or a player needing treatment they have always been part of the game.

22:17VAR we've decided to put into it so to me it seems at the very least it feels like the right thing to do to stop the clock I just don't see any justification at all for it I mean because I've been at games where VAR decisions have gone on for like six minutes Six minutes. You're basically six minutes out of the game. You're charging the fans the same amount. My Sky subscription doesn't come down. We're watching less football because of this admin. So if it's for admin reasons, stop the clock. There's no reason you can't do that. And then on the free kick stuff, I've long said that you... So let me take them in turns then.

22:53So you've got throw-in, free kick, penalty, via decision here from DMH 7575. So throw-ins, I would just relax the rules entirely. And you can just... As long as your two hands are behind your head or whatever at some point, take it. That's fine. Free kick and penalties should have shot clocks. Right. Yeah. Remember I said to you guys, there was an example. It was Glenn Hoddle scoring a penalty in a cup final. I completely forget the details. Probably in the early 80s. And he takes the penalty so quick, there's not even enough time for the replay of the foul. These days, a penalty takes minutes.

23:25Yeah. The final thing I would just say, by the way, is Mark Clattenburg had an interesting idea. I think on the overlap a while back where he said with because I mean because the email here mentions Emi Martinez they just put it in mind with the goalkeepers taking ages to take free kicks to waste time sometimes you see the referee from the halfway line give him a yellow card right it's very very rare they give two yellow cards out for time wasting we know that so what happens is the goalkeepers just use it as a bit of a free hit right what Klattenberg said was give him the yellow and from then on if you're not prepared as a referee to send someone off for time wasting, then there needs to be a rule where if they take too long, it just gets changed to a corner.

24:05Right, okay. But then everyone moves all the way down the pitch. You're under pressure instantly. You're getting punished for taking the piss and you could concede. Now, of course, it works well because corners don't see that many goals from corners, but it is a threatening action. It feels dangerous, yeah. So I think that would be something I'd do. He also said for throw-ins and for piss-taking on throw-ins, just give it to the other team. If it takes too long, the other team get the throw-in. And if you're in your own half, that's a dangerous situation. For some reason, I thought that might have been in the history of the game at some point.

24:31It just seems like such an obvious thing to do. If you're pissing it out, if you're not going to do the throwing, we'll do the throwing. You know what I mean? And finally for now, from Oscar X on YouTube, after our chat about great names in baseball, Nascar had Dick Trickle, which is a fabulous name. Dick Trickle is a great name. Yeah, and not something Mr. Kellogg will be up for. Luke? What about this then from Andrew Dolan? Should the Premier League stop clubs massing a player bank, i.e. Chelsea and Liverpool Bayern players en masse, it restricts competition. cap the amount of players per team, squad and academy only.

24:59We've also had a lot of questions about a possible new top four emerging of Liverpool, Man City, Arsenal and Chelsea based on the huge spending that's happened this year. That's a kind of slightly separate point. But I mean, Jim, before I throw this to you, what I would say is, of course, Premier League squads are restricted, right? 25 players, eight have to be homegrown, 17 can be bought in and then you get as many under 21s as you want. So there are these rules in place. so what do you make of this point from Andrew? That extra context kind of explains how Chelsea in particular operate isn't it?

25:29Because a lot of the players they sign they are very very young and they loan them out and obviously they're part of a multi-club model as well so that's an extension of that where they have these extra sort of landing spots. I suppose should clubs be able to essentially just kind of collect young players and use them as kind of their own kind of personal marketplace right? That is essentially what Chelsea are doing and this is not criticism of them because they're operating within the current rules and they're exploiting it better than any club in the world. I don't know, really. They're also used like art is used by criminal gangs.

26:01Yeah, exactly. They're not intrinsically worth any money. They're just like, we've got this. To me, it feels a bit like a combination of different things that are making this happen. One is, as you said, Jim, the introduction of multi-club ownership clearly is a massive conflict of interest that the authorities haven't done anything about. and we've seen it happen with issues around qualifying for European tournaments. A European competition like the Crystal Palace and Lyon thing, there was an issue with the Club World Cup as well. Club Lyon couldn't play for that same reason. We've seen another variation on how problematic it is given that Chelsea are about to sell Jao Felix to a Saudi club who are owned by the PIF, who also have a stake in Chelsea.

26:48By Clear Lake. They have a stake in Clear Lake, which owns Chelsea. no one's doing anything about this stuff. It may or be they can't do anything about it because of international boundaries and laws and all the rest of it. But the other thing that plays into it is that, again, that old thing I always talk about on this show, particularly it seems it comes up over and over again, is EPPP, right? EPPP was introduced, the Elite Player Performance Plan, because the Premier League held the Football League clubs to ransom for the money they needed. And one of the things about EPPP was it involved the abandoning of the 90-minute rule, which basically said if you are from, say, Portsmouth and you're a young academy player, you would only previously have been able to join an academy within a 90-minute drive of your home.

27:31That was abandoned, which now meant that if you're the best thing to come out of Portsmouth for years, you can go to the Chelsea Academy. You possibly would have even had to go to the Chelsea Academy then because it's not that far away. But you know what? The Man City Academy, the Liverpool Academy, the Newcastle Academy. Campervan footballers. Campervan footballers. You live in a campervan. Exactly. That's made it a lot more imbalanced because one of the main ways that clubs who aren't the big clubs can survive, of course, is by producing their own players. The moment we stop making it incentivized to produce your own players as a football team, the moment you lose a massive aspect of what the game's all about.

28:05So all this stuff comes into play. I don't think the current rules are going far enough in stopping this hoarding of players. So something does need to happen. I would just say you know maybe you have to find a way although it's not going to be easy of getting that 90 minute rule back in so if you're a young kid who grew up in you know in Kent you're not going to be poached by the Man City Academy you're just not going to be because it's not right but until that I mean again with these types of things it's very hard to unring a bell very difficult to make the argument that's ever going to change now you might also look at it from the position of that young player where they might think well hang on I want to go and play in the City Academy or the Liverpool Academy, I want to go and test myself.

28:47So again, very difficult to do that. But you can do it, but you can, but when you're at a certain age. Sure. You can't do it when you're very young. The Chelsea thing, I think everyone criticise it as being, well, this is never going to work, but it really is starting to work, isn't it? They managed to amass a huge amount of income from that. And I do think another complication is when you look at the players, or sorry, if you look at the clubs who are in the Champions League and they're looking at sort of, if a season goes well for you, you might have like 60 odd games in it. So you need... You need a large squad, and obviously a lot of that is bolstered by younger players because of that rule.

29:20But different competitions have different rules for squads. So you can register different squads for different competitions, right? That's the whole point of it. That's what Chelsea are doing, aren't they? Yeah, but that is another argument as to why you might want flexibility on the size of your squad if you're in the position that these clubs are in. Scott on Blue Sky, Jim. He says, should Newcastle be acting now and already buying a replacement for Izak? Regardless, if he stays for the time being, he clearly wants out, and we already needed at least one striker. and who should the club be looking at?

29:47Yeah, I mean... I mean, they need to sign strikers. We said this yesterday. They need to sign strikers. But I mean, obviously, they're losing Callum Wilson, obviously, as you said on Friday's show. Luke, he's a busted flush and he's not really been able to perform at any sort of level for a little while now. But yeah, they need bodies and they need it soon. They just need goals in the sides. Obviously, Szesko is the one that everyone's talking about. Looks like Leipzig are looking to live after him leaving the club. so it looks like he's definitely out there but I think Man United are the other team that are involved.

30:20You'd take Newcastle over Man United at this point, wouldn't you? What about... Yeah, you think so. Who should the club be looking at? What about Alexandre Medrovic? Bring him back for crying out loud. He's got to stay out there for another season though, hasn't he, to make his money? Up to make his money, otherwise he gets hammered for tax. Otherwise he gets hammered for tax, yeah. It's a real shame, though. You like Nicholas Jackson, don't you? He's been linked. I do think Nicholas Jackson has a higher ceiling than we've seen from him. I think it'd be an interesting fit at Newcastle especially how elbow heavy he was the last time they played yeah I think it would probably be well it would definitely be an underwhelming signing in comparison to to Ezek when you were probably expecting to hang on to Ezek this summer right Pete is that a fair reflection of how Newcastle fans felt I think that's pretty much that so it's a downgrade for sure but that's the situation that Newcastle find themselves in there isn't it so we were saying this all season Andy was saying like fine you make 120 million out of it who can you buy at that level who's performing at that level I honestly think that Yohan Wisser is probably the best for now option of the players that they're looking at so if they can get that over the line and obviously if they get the money coming in from Ezek they'll be able to give Brentford whatever it is they want but obviously Brentford are going to really try and keep him given that they've lost in Bumo and so many other players as well he's a little on the older side but he does have credentials that's what I mean if he's a player you get him in there a couple of seasons at least and then obviously you kick that can down the road and you have to go and get someone else later but maybe someone emerges.

31:47Maybe Sesko stays at Leipzig and is a bit more developed and then he comes in and he's the main man and obviously Wisser can play kind of out wide as well. I think he's the best available option personally. I would agree with that. I think that's right. But you're kind of in a situation where they're a bit chaotic behind the scenes, aren't they, Newcastle United? And they've just found it very hard to get anything sorted. Yeah, a lang is it though? I feel like everyone's kind of forgotten about a lang. because everything else has been happening but he's a really exciting side he scored at the weekend he scored there we go he did score he's just a lot younger than I realise even though I every time I learn how old he is it's like oh yeah he's younger than I thought it simply won't stay in my head it feels like he's been around for ages because of Man United will the positives never end let's finish with this from Charlie then he says Pete if you could choose either Alexander Isaac stays at Newcastle or you could have a weekend in your shed with Sir Les Ferdinand which would it be?

32:39now I mean players move on all the time right We all have to live with that in football. You're not getting Seles in your shed. And is the shed like a big brother type situation where you can't leave? It's like a series of challenges. Oh, no, like an escape room with Les Ferdinand. You'd melt. You'd absolutely melt. If you were in an escape room situation with Seles, you'd just do whatever he said. Bear in mind, no, it is his shed, so only Seles needs to escape. And the lights are off. And the angle grinder's grinding. And the angle grinder's grinding. I would allow him to... to... I'd like Cate Blanchett to he can play with all my toys.

33:11He can look in all my cupboards. You better wash him first. Better wash him. Not that kind of toy. He can play with all my wrestling figures. He can do whatever he wants because he's Les Ferdinand. What would Les Ferdinand think? I don't think I'd have what he needs. If Les Ferdinand came around my house, I don't know how I'd entertain him. It's exactly like when Alan Partridge goes back to Jed's house and he turns the light on and there's just pictures of him everywhere. You can play with all my wrestling figures. You can play with all my wrestling figures. I just think I'd serve the wrong wine or the wrong food.

33:41In your shed? Yeah, I'd be serving wine. What are you serving? Pete's favourite. A little bordeaux. Cheeky little bordeaux. And what about the food? Oh, fish sticks. A lot of fish sticks in the house at the moment. Any sauerkraut tincture? No, not with fish fingers. So you'd rather have Alex and Isaac stay at Newcastle or would you rather have a weekend in Europe? I think I'd rather Alex and Isaac stay at Newcastle because I just do not know what I'd do. If the partner I'd... you have access to came down the shed that weekend she'd be confused would she know who Seles was yes because I've shown her pictures of him saying isn't he lovely that's adorable isn't it would she be happy to find you in there with the Seles do you think you're allowed one aren't you he allows you one would you have your vest on he's on the list he's in the top five vest on yeah no pants yeah well it's long enough it would cover everything socks would you have your socks yeah I think so best in a pair of socks socks boots and just a long top what's the first thing you're asking him um do you want to help me put up these shelves Les yeah I've been meaning to do this for ages yeah and now I've got why would you be from a different part of the north when you ask that question hello because if I say if I'm from the north east you'll go uh oh trouble at mill I'm getting out of here yeah we clawing at the walls someone also asked here Peter what piece of football memorabilia would you most want in your apology cabin oh it's interesting isn't it so Les shawler's apple oh that's good shawler's apple that's really good yeah One of those, the council is introducing big solo bins in our streets.

35:13So maybe I could have one of those ones that was used in lieu of an ice bath in your castle, Gembunder, actually. I think the Shola's apple would be great. It would be really good. In like a vacuum-packed box. Which is attached to the front of that same bike. Well, thank you for listening to the Football Rumble Mailbag, part of the Cash Creator Network. We're going to be back tomorrow. We'd like to have people get in touch. what the kind of stuff you could do in your shed with Les Ferdinand? Yeah, yeah, get in touch. Yeah, let us know what. Just ideas, puzzles. Because if it takes on a life of its own and we can find a sponsor, I don't think Les is that busy.

35:48Yes, exactly. That's a great series idea. Which footballers or people from the world of football can spend 48 hours in Pete's shed with Pete? If we don't do it, Mr Beast, will. I can see the clock in the bottom corner. You'd be the Mr Beast of terrorising footballers. I've only got a second name. what is it Donaldson Jimmy Donaldson Jimmy Donaldson Jimmy Donaldson yes please do send your responses opinions and questions for next week's mailbag and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts now tell you who else could spend 48 hours in your shed with you Denise Welsh back to the grinding

36:28yeah

36:38We are recording this pretty much straight after the Euro 25 win. Mary? Do it again. So, gentlemen, it's two days since the Euro 25. You okay? Is it the angle grinder? I think I need to get the angle grinder. It's your brain. It's your own brain. I can't think about anything else, can you? So, gentlemen, it's two days since Serena Vigman took her lionesses to win the Euro 25. No! 2025 2025 2025 2025 2025 2025 2025 yeah yeah you look a bit of a prat if you get an angle grinder and have a bit of a flex and you can't say the word 25 it's the spark it's the sparks the football ramble is a stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network

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