Mailbag: Will Spurs survive the Champions League?

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3:39Luke Moore: Well, hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble Mailbag. Spurs, Bournemouth, and the 90s are the orders of the day. It's Tuesday, 16th of September. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Nick Moore. And I'm Jim Campbell.

4:04I think any show you're presenting, it goes without saying the 90s are the order of the day, doesn't it?

4:08Luke Moore: Well, we've got a question. Oh, have we? Okay. So people are aiding and abetting you as well now, are they? Well, we'll let you decide. But if you do want to have a question on the mailbag about the 90s or any other decade, any other musical decade, it's not to do with music, get in touch on ex-BlueScar Instagram comment on YouTube friends of the Ramble you get priority on Discord of course and you can email us show at footballramble.com we love you getting in touch for all manner of reasons yeah me and Jim have been on the quest a while back now to find the most 90s thing of all time so some more contributions on that would be interesting as well yes indeed use Dolly the Sheep as a sort of starting point yeah but stop with the millennium bug yeah you have to stop there that's very much the be here now the end of the 90s I know it was it's an analogy Standing on the shoulders of giants would have been the one.

4:54Jim, you got the analogy, didn't you? No, no, no, if you're going to enter this. Okay. All right. He said that to me before. What I was actually going to say was, I've got another new candidate for the most nicest thing ever. It's when Oasis played on the Be Here Now Tour, and they were supported by Richard Ashcroft, as they were more recently.

5:15Luke Moore: And Terry Christian. No, Terry Christian wasn't involved. But Liam Gallagher came out on stage after Richard Ashcroft ended his set by playing The Drugs Don't Work, walked on stage and went, he says the drugs don't work. They fucking do, you know. That's quite nice. That is very 90s. That's very good. The very 90s. We're going to break from Tradition Luke and you're going to have the first question. Okay, this is from Michael on our Patreon because we prioritize our Patreon subscribers, don't we? Practicing what we preach there. Michael, hello to you. Thank you very much for getting in touch. He asks the following, Tottenham looked great under Thomas Frank so far.

5:47However, Angus Tottenham also started very well. With the Champions League returning this week, do you think Spurs have enough to sustain their form throughout the season? Now, before I chuck it over to you guys, I'll just remind people that when Angus took over in the summer of 2023, they started the season very well. I think they were undefeated in their first 10 or 11 games before they went on a bit of a wobble. And it became a bit inconsistent after that. But it did start very, very well. I remember around October time, people saying, And, oh, the Spurs are going to actually do something remarkable this season.

6:19However, 6th November, they lose 4-1 at home to Chelsea. In that game, we will talk about, it felt like they were starting to get a bit tired from then on. And things didn't really deviate too much from there. But so, is there any difference between this and Ange on the frank? And will the Champions League thing be a kind of litmus test for them?

6:37Luke Moore: Yeah. By the way, I always say when you mention that Chelsea one, they were down to nine men. And I actually like the way they equipped themselves. They ended up with a 2-1 defeat to Wolves and they lost 2-1 at home to Aston Villa. Yeah, they weren't as good. Shortly after that, they lost 2-1 at home to West Ham as well. Yeah, I mean, you can prove anything with fact. Shouldn't miss out the fact they drew 3-1 with Man City as well. Yeah, but the fact is they nearly qualified for Champions League football and it all went into that game, didn't it? At home to Manchester City. Oh, if we win, we'll do Arsenal a favour and there was all that kind of business there.

7:06Luke Moore: But it's a crucial question, chiefly because that season there was no European football for Spurs. There wasn't. But Ange is gone and Frank's in and Frank we talk about being Frank Frank being a great pragmatist but pragmatist is not a dirty word Jim it's not crevice is a dirty word a good example of one if you've got any of your own Jim please say them otherwise shit stain otherwise forever hold your gulch come on what's that I don't know just sounds gross doesn't it it's onomatopoeic you would say you would you would Thomas Frank has a very limited experience of European football qualification phases for the Europa League with Brondby.

7:42Luke Moore: Well, okay, there you go. Yeah, good to cast our minds back to that. Well, I didn't think any of you would forget it for a second. No, no. Just in case. Yeah, extensively at the time. Exactly. Yeah, so obviously, you know, so we expected him to do well at Spurs in terms of the Premier League. Steve Cooper's Brondby, I should have said, by the way. But they were Thomas Franks at the time. They're now Steve Cooper's. So, yeah, we thought, you know, he'll translate, what he's done at Brentford will translate Spurs in the Premier League. What's he then going to do with Spurs in Europe? Thomas Frank, though, gives off a big vibe.

8:14Luke Moore: It's a big vibe. It's a massive vibe. He's a serious one. Yeah. It's a great vibe he's got. He does not look intimidated by anything. No. And this was seen when Spurs played PSG in the Super Cup. They were really close. So close. And they equipped themselves really well. Now, people might say, yeah, but PSG, I'm not saying Spurs are as good as PSG. Clearly not. PSG are one of the favourites, or perhaps the favourite to win the Champions League and retain their crown. And I understand PSG came into that game having pretty much no pre-season. You know, they had the Club World Cup. They would have been knackered, etc., etc.

8:48Luke Moore: But you saw... But Spurs were fantastic. They were brilliant. Most of that game. And I was gutted for them that they didn't get over the line. They lost on penalties. But it showed you what he can do. And that's the thing with Frank. We keep saying this. One, you know, every few days or however the games come, thick and fast, he manages to mix it up tactically. Look at them against West Ham. He plays Joao Polini there. Polini hasn't started every game. But he's played a bit for Spurs. He's in that, bang, does his linchpin role very, very good, as he was against Manchester City when they played them.

9:17Luke Moore: Richarlison didn't even play against West Ham. He didn't start the game. Tell did. Now, Tell is not in the squad for the Champions League. Tell and Maddison are not in there. Now, Maddison, understandably, because of an injury. But this is what I mean with Thomas Frank. He's left out a guy who cost them 30-odd million quid, who was gutted, who's a good up-and-coming player. There's a reason why they signed him from Bayern Munich. and Frank's gone, look, you know what, pal, you're going to start a Premier League game against West Ham. I'm not going to pick you. What that says to me is Frank, his attention to the detail and the personnel and what he's already looked at in those fixtures, he has a plan.

9:54Luke Moore: So can start, you know, do enough. The question is, have they got enough to sustain their form throughout the season? I absolutely think that. They had a great transfer window. They got a bit of depth in that squad. and already you're seeing the likes of the obvious one, Richarlison, rejuvenated under him. And a good man manager, look at what he got out of those players against Brentford. It doesn't seem that so far, again, a small sample size, but so far it doesn't seem to be that there's a chasm between Brentford and Spurs in the terms of you go into the smaller club and because there's maybe, I don't necessarily have to use the word ego, but maybe the egos aren't so big, the experience of those players isn't so huge.

10:33Luke Moore: they're more likely to go with the manager. We've seen this before so many times when, like take dear old Roy Hodgson, you know, he can do it at Fulham, did all right at other places, Crystal Palace. Yeah, when he goes to Liverpool, maybe, or David Moyes, when he goes to Manchester United, he's saying, right, well, this is the template I've used here and there. And the players are going, this is Man United, mate, what are you talking about? There doesn't seem to be any, that's what I mean by the vibe with Thomas Frank. And also that comes back to the pragmatism of Frank. Exactly. He will use the tools in his toolbox to craft a thing that is, you know, essentially going to be the best out of those materials.

11:04Luke Moore: Yes, and the personality and the aura and from what I understand, the emotional intelligence of the man and so on and so forth. I think he's a very, very impressive individual. And as I say, it translates. Man United will be gutted that they didn't really go after him when he was being linked there, you would say. So with Frank, I'm not saying he's going to end up managing Barcelona anytime, but I think it all just bodes very, very well. But it's still a challenge. It's still a challenge. You've got to look at the other side of the ledger, which says that it's a challenge. He's not experienced it before in this depth and at this level.

11:39Spurs, they've done well in patches in the Champions League course, been to a final and all the rest of it. But they've set themselves up, Spurs, as a team, in terms of their stadium and their resources and the way they do things to be one of the top clubs, right? There's a reason. Yeah. Everyone's got their own reasons, but there was a reason why they were

11:59Luke Moore: invited to the Super League enthusiastic about the Super League but they haven't consistently been in the Champions League as much as they would have liked they need to see this as a step towards that but it comes with its own challenges for sure there's loads more games to play straight off the bat you've got to play whatever it is, eight more games you expect, you want to progress I mean you think at the players that teams they've got to play they would expect to progress but I also agree that they've definitely strengthened with the personnel they've brought in. But here's the kicker. The kicker is not just necessarily the fact that you bring extra players in.

12:35It's blending all those players in the team. I think your interesting point about Matisse Tell there is a good one. But you've got to get the players to be able to perform every few days, basically. If you look at the situation Spurs find themselves in now, they've got five games between now, Now, five more games between now and the end of September, right? Plan the 16th, the 20th, the 24th, the 27th, and the 30th. Okay? It comes thick and fast. He's got to not just be a great manager and a great pragmatist and a great guy. He's just got to be able to manage the up and down of that, the travel, all that type of stuff.

13:10There's going to be injuries at some point as well. I think he's a really exciting manager, Frank. I think he can do great things at Spurs, and I've been super impressed with him so far this season. Bit of a weird blip in the home game against Bournemouth. But Bournemouth have been brilliant themselves. Bournemouth have been really good. Maybe in time that will start to say more about Bournemouth than it will about Spurs.

13:29Luke Moore: But it's the only goal they conceded this season. I know it's four games in. One thing's absolutely clear. Like, you know, he is not Ange Postacoglu and he is definitely going to manage them in a different way. And I think that should be seen as a positive. And I think part of, you know, the potential benefits of that are, you know, that fitness was a massive issue for Spurs last season. And people talk a lot about the intense training methods that Postacoglu uses. And that came back to bite them. Well, he basically wrapped his hand in on the league. There's no way Frank's going to get away with that.

13:55No, absolutely not. So they've got to change that.

13:57Luke Moore: But if they are kind of, I suppose, let's say luckier with injuries this season, that's going to make a massive, massive difference. I think Frank is probably more likely to manage that in a way that isn't going to be putting them under so much strain. I think, you know, it is... Sorry to cut in, but what percentage of injuries are bad luck? Yeah, well, this is it. What do you think, though? This is an interesting question. Oh, I mean, so some impact injuries that happen in matches and in training are inevitable. But the talk was, wasn't there, that the training methods that Postacogli uses, and we've already heard Forest players talking about how it's a lot more intense now, over time leads to players breaking down and hamstring injuries in particular.

14:35Luke Moore: We saw that happen a lot at Tottenham. What I'm saying is that that seems less likely to happen under Frank, right? And that's going to stand them in good stead. And the question is essentially about their ability to go the whole way through the season and sustain this form. And I think Frank looks like a manager who will be smart about that stuff. You mentioned, and again, coming back to Tell, it's a really, really good point that he's a player who can help them in the league when other players are maybe needing a little bit of a rest because of their European exploits. And obviously it's four games in, right?

15:05Luke Moore: So you have to caveat that. There are so many challenges ahead with kind of little bumps of bad form, with injuries, with European travel and those condensed three-game weeks that you often get. But I do feel like they're in a really, really good spot in terms of certainly qualifying for the Champions League again, for sure. There's got to be a goal. There has to be a goal, and I think it's a realistic one because the squad looks fresh, dynamic, motivated. You talk about the Frank vibes. He really brings that. Totally. This feels like a kind of modern version of Pochettino coming in. You know, that sense of excitement.

15:39Luke Moore: He's come from a club where he's achieved a lot, and you think this guy is ready for the next step. That doesn't always work. It's very difficult for managers to kind of make that leap sometimes. But this looks a really good fit. And I think that they have a really, really good chance of sustaining the form. I think the big difference between Frank and Ange straight away could kind of be summed up by that Lucas Bergbaugh header against West Ham at the weekend. Which is a great goal. It's a brilliant header. We probably did him a bit of disservice not mentioning him yesterday. But if Lucas Bergbaugh scored that header under Ange Postacoglu, they would have lost the game 3-2.

16:14everyone would have been complaining, but then the caveat would have been, oh yeah, but look at the young players who are coming. Look at Bergvau, look at how good he looks. As it stands, under Frank it seems, Bergvau plays anyway, scores a great goal. No one mentions it because the whole thing keeps on rolling. And that's a much more positive way to be talking about Spurs than maybe how it came under Ange. However, when Ange Postachogli first came in, as we've already mentioned, it was quite similar at the start. The point of the question to me though is that Michael's obviously spotted and as many people have that they weren't able to do it on more than one front last season.

16:49They had to gamble and go on the Europa League run. To be fair to them, they won the Europa League but the Premier League campaign was a disgrace. It was absolutely disgracefully bad.

16:58Luke Moore: It was like disgraceful to the paying Spurs fans. Correct. I'd go as far to say that. I really would. This is a better squad with a manager who is approaching it in a very different way though, I think. And also it's interesting that you mentioned Bergvall because I think players like Bergvall and Jed Spence as well and a few others will really have learned from being forged in the particular fire of last season. That's another sort of strength of their bow there, I think. I think Thomas Frank is the manager that a lot of other managers think they are. Oh, nice. In that he's very eloquent, very good in front of the camera, brilliant hair, great hair, and tactically and so on can mix it up, but it's effective with Frank and I think the only surprising thing...

17:39Luke Moore: And he's versatile. Yes, I suspect and I'm talking, you know, talking Frank up big and I could come in for some scrutiny in a few months' time if it goes to crap, but I'm so confident it won't, that Frank, I think we may look back and think, blimey, how come he never made a move away from Brentford sooner? There's no disrespect. In fact, it's kudos to Brentford and it shows you the loyalty perhaps he had. But yeah, anyway, I think we've answered your question there, Michael. Now, before we go for a break, I want to say that last week on the Mailbag, Pete launched a campaign to find the England fan who shouted, Come on, England!

18:17Luke Moore: Remember that guy? How can I forget that guy when I'm on this show? Do I remember that guy? I was speaking to the listeners there. How can they forget that guy? Tell us something your mum doesn't know. To give the full thing. So, yeah. We all know him. We love him. Well, thanks to the power of social media, which finally has been used for good in these troubled times, we found him. His name is Jamie. and he replied to our Instagram wanted poster saying, still going, laughing emoji, does my head in now. He doesn't ask Jamie. There is one drawback though and this is where you've got to be careful with this stuff.

18:53Luke Moore: Sometimes you should leave things alone. In his profile picture, he is playing rugby. He can play rugby if he wants. Let's hope it's ironic. Look, whether Jamie likes it or not, he is a national treasure. He is. He is the thinking man's version of the bloke that put a flare up his ass. and that's a good thing absolutely he's also got a private Instagram which is disappointing thinking man I wanted to have a look compared to that guy Jim yeah I think that's fair alright coming up with this it is finally time to return to the 90s

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22:10Luke Moore: In the words of Frank Carson, I've got a question, Noel. This is from Jack. So unnecessary, isn't it? Welcome. We haven't even got to the 90s bit yet. This is from Jack on Patreon. Do Bournemouth already look nailed on to be this season's overachievers? yeah I mean I suppose we take it back to you know urging caution about it only being four games in right because um it doesn't take very long for a spell of really really good form to feel like it was ages ago you know if they have three bad results in a row then you start to wonder oh was that just a bit of a false dawn was it kind of early season freshness etc etc etc and the wear and tear of the season tests your squad doesn't it and it is really really very much a squad game now but I think the pros for the argument are similarly to Spurs is that they have a very very good manager who sets them up incredibly well and has had to deal with four of last season's five defenders if you include the goalkeeper not being around anymore and they've barely noticed like it's been absolutely seamless that transition and the defender was sent off earlier on the weekend he was yeah so who has the last laugh now Zandoni Areola Don't you have to kind of think more holistically about what overachievement looks like for Bournemouth now?

23:33The reason I say that is because, yes, they are, relatively speaking, historically a small club. Yes, their stadium is small. But their mentality's big, Luke. It is. Their ambitions are big. But if you look at what they've done, so last season they finished ninth. Season before that, they finished 12th. They've been in the Premier League for a little while now. They have spent, you know, if you want to compare them to Manchester United, then fine, they haven't spent that much money. But they have spent a lot of money. I mean, if you look at the seasons, just the seasons under Erioli, if you like, they're paying kind of quite big money for players.

24:07And yes, admittedly, they're selling some of these players on for big money as well. Dean Heysen, Kirk Ares.

24:13Luke Moore: They're a Premier League club, they're going to spend big money. Sure. People know the Premier League's got money. They have the money, so they're going to spend it. I'm just asking you guys a very simple question, right? If we're going to talk about what overachievement looks like for Bournemouth, we first need to establish what achievement looks like and they finished ninth last season so what represents achievement for them this season given they've been improving year on year under Iriola well that's to be a Europa League place really doesn't it Europa League or Champions League which is hard very hard for them to get that I think if they finished if they got Champions League that would be a huge overachie but that's what I mean well I think that you're right to mention the manager keeping the manager was absolutely crucial and Semenyo as well Semenyo is absolutely getting him on a new deal was massive you know when Kirkus went everyone knew he was going to go really.

24:53Luke Moore: And who have they signed? Is it? Truffaut. He looks like he settled to it very, very well. Their scouting is obviously exceptional, isn't it? Indeed. And so, and Evan Nielsen's still there. Brilliant forward as well. They've got a really, really good set of forward players. And under Irayola, they look like the type of club who can attract players. And you can say, look, come to Bournemouth. We've got this guy. You're going to come in. You will improve. It's the complete opposite of Manchester United. That they've got that kind of, like Brentford, you might say still have maybe Jordan Henderson will be improved but Brunford have that sort of vibe in the last few years or Brighton a player who has serious ambitions could go to Bournemouth and this is by no means disrespectful at all it is how the ecosystem works is play for us over a couple of years and you'll get a big move somewhere like a stepping stone because a stepping stone club means you're doing something right last season everyone said oh that squad is going to be dismantled because everyone's going to want a piece of them well they've lost two big players but look at them.

25:51Luke Moore: The results have been pretty, pretty good. I also like the way that they, so there's a few teams in that little slot of being a really well-run club that do really well and overachieve by their own standards, despite what I said earlier. I do get the point of the question. You know, there's Bournemouth, there's Brighton, there's Brentford, you know. But what they seem to be able to do really well is not only just handle losing a big player. So for example, if you talk about last summer, as in the summer before this one, summer 2024, they lose Solanke for big money. He was their top scorer and he was really their kind of talisman.

26:27I think three or four days after that, they had signed Evan Nilsson. And then knowing that Solanke was going to go for big money, I think that's when they also around that time signed Dean Hoyssen as well for like 12 million. They sold him on for God knows how much and they maintained their standard. And not only that, they improved their league position. That's really the challenge for teams of this size. because if we're going to be totally honest about it, of course, given the history of the relative clubs mentioned, Bournemouth, Brighton and Brentford, they're all overachieving. Of course they are.

26:58Because when Eddie Howes took over Bournemouth, they almost felt the league. Yeah, exactly. So of course they're overachieving. But it's interesting looking at these teams under these progressive managers. And we'll see what happens with Keith Andrews. And we'll see how it continues to develop with Fabian Hursler. And with Bournemouth, it's obviously Andoni or Ayola. How they keep trying to find little ways of just inching that ceiling up higher and higher because they're not realistically going to be serial winners of the Premier League or even serial Champions League qualifiers. I mean, if you look at, say, Forest came very close to forcing their way in there.

27:30Even if they had done, would they have been able to maintain it? Aston Villa couldn't. I was going to say, look at the effort of Villa. Yeah, so it's very, very difficult to get a seat at that top table and be able to fill your face as well.

27:41Luke Moore: But be inspired by Palace and go on a cup run. Do you know what I mean? That's what you want next. And that's what I think with Bournemouth. they look like they can they can give anybody a game but anyway Jim without further ado let's have this question I've been gagging for you to ask yes Alex on Blue Sky asks with long throw-ins kicking the ball into touch from kickoff and Pep going back to being a fraud is 90s football back? I love that people are still on Blue Sky just doing their thing it's like a house party that's wound down there's a few people in the kitchen still doing Kett and that's all it is so shout out to Alex for that what was the question I want listeners the question is quite strange right so because I don't think long throws are particularly 90s you know when Rory Dallat was making those those long throws for Stoke I don't think anyone was saying it was particularly like a throwback Pep Guardiola won 15 trophies in the 90s as well I don't I'm not really sure I quite understand that part of the question do you guys remember when Dave Chaloner who was the centre back for Tran Mirovis at the time was they were on a bit of a cup run with a tell And his hand towel, long throw-ins, that was very 90s.

28:49And that's where the genesis of it is, I think.

28:51Luke Moore: Yeah, probably. Wimbledon football is what it was known back then. Yeah, I suppose so, yeah. Long balls and long throws and violent tackles. But, I mean, as the generations move on, we would have said in our youth that, oh, it's very 1970s, very 1980s. Yes. And so people are not going to have... But also... People who are 15, 20 years younger than us aren't going to have that. Allow us the wider context, though. because he's also said, you know, ball into touch from kickoff, all the rest of it. It's been a 90s summer we've just had. Because of Oasis and all the rest of it. You've had Oasis basically dominating the entire summer and they're the most 90s band, really.

29:29And then you've got this stuff here that people are associating. People of our age probably that do remember the 90s are kind of associating this stuff. But I think what it is, is that, as we mentioned yesterday briefly, managers and teams are just looking to get an advantage. They're just looking to have a little angle here or there to work out how they can perhaps do something maybe the other team doesn't expect or in the case of like kicking the ball into touch from kickoff, I mean, that is a bit confusing. That does seem to be happening quite a lot. That's probably something along the lines of getting territory really early.

30:01Yeah, it's a tactical cycle, isn't it? It's about winning territory. Helps you with the press maybe because you're already up there maybe. So in a way, they're all linked and related anyway. I think the long throws is maybe what I mentioned yesterday about the fact that centre-backs aren't as used to defending against that kind of stuff. So it's worth asking the question, right?

30:17Luke Moore: Which is why I think you may well see a little more of two up front because centre-halves... Yes, I'm gagging for that. Well, centre-halves. I mean, again, that's what I mean when you say, Luke, the point you make, which is a good one, what are defenders used to or what are they expecting? You always... A little bit of element of surprise or do things. Now, clearly, a ball in the box, head it away. It doesn't sound like anything that is going to come out of the blue for them. But with, say, if you started to see a little bit more of a stroke partnership, is if you occupy both centre-halves and they have a man each, because so many defenders now would have grown up playing the game and you've got two defenders marking one guy, really.

30:56Luke Moore: I know they cover for the full-back and all that kind of stuff. So I wonder if you have that. I mean, the thing is, tactical trends, they come and go. and obviously Alex cheekily puts Pep going back to being a fraud. Mental. What happens is Guardiola reaches the top of the game and becomes one of the greatest managers of all time doing his thing and it seems like, oh, he's discovered the cheat code. But what he's done is he's analysed it, everything goes into Guardiola being Guardiola and he produces some of the finest football that's ever been played. So people try and emulate that. Well, when Guardiola, his powers start to wane, no one's going to be Guardiola's Guardiola nobody can do his routine better than Pete Kim it's like when Trump eventually dies right no one's going to step in they will but it won't be the same yeah it's a figurehead it's a totemic head thing it's a perfect analogy it works exactly the same way yeah I know you're just upset because I said Trump you can understand why I've been thrown there

31:53it's very much a long throw yeah so they go in cycles the point you're making is a personality one It's the fact that Guardiola is such a force of personality that his ideas have been able to win out and infect the whole world of football, really, even down to the grassroots level.

32:08Luke Moore: Yeah. No, but what I was going to say is, though, that you then go on and it's like, how do we then find how to deal with that? Well, yeah, exactly. Klopp was very successful at doing that at times. It's created a set of conditions and therefore a set of environmental challenges, almost, you might say, to overcome it. And I guess what we're seeing now with the idea of kind of more territorial football and more aerial stuff coming back into use and actually kind of being in fashion is, as you say, a response to that. If you're not going to be able to do what Guardiola did again at the top of his game, you have to think creatively, right?

32:39Luke Moore: What else can we do? And the focus is often on this thing while other people are innovating over here. And eventually, as I say, when Guardiola's powers start to wane, the other ideas start to come up. And you can be influenced from the past. As Jurgen Klopp was, Jurgen Klopp always used to say that he never understood why in England we stopped doing the things that made particularly the Liverpool sides in the 70s and the 80s so successful pass and move you know pressing and all the rest of it he said he was massively influenced by that era and he said I never understood why English football started to try and sort of drift away from it so he brought 80s football back the question is is 90s football back and the answer is 90s football would officially be back when more than two teams play two up front which is what happened on the weekend so Brentford did it and Wolves did it wasn't very good no one noticed but Wolves did do it as well and when it's more than two when we get over 10 teams in a Premier League weekend playing two up front then we can officially declare the 90s open again I mean there's a lot of exciting combinations there Izak and Eketike Haaland and Mamouche Jokeres and Havertz potentially maybe I mean there's the potential there yeah right there's always potential if you look hard enough let's get Canaan Watkins up top very quick alright coming up after this Australia has got in touch with us.

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35:44Okay, our friend Amy's got in touch on email. Hello to you, Amy after we talked about a plover that laid an egg on a football pitch in Australia. She says plovers are actually terrifying. They aren't overly large birds but they are aggressive and even have spurs under their wings. They always nest on ovals which are of course the Australian rules football pitch. Preferring primary school ovals for a reason we will never know. I think ovals are also used for cricket as well maybe in Australia. There's one in South London certainly. There is, absolutely, famously. Cycled past it yesterday. Yeah.

36:16And will protect their nest aggressively around a 50-metre radius.

36:21Luke Moore: 50-metre radius is a big one. For a small bird. It is, yeah. Yeah, by the way, you're saying plove, right? I believe in Australia they call them plovers. That's up to them. Yeah. I'm not in Australia, am I? I like that. Nor will I be. I've seen a plove. She says the sound they make alone sends shivers down every child's spine. Yeah, Jim, you've been rehearsing this. Can you do it? We should get it on the little thing. here's what they sound like it's not bad I was going to go over the old very nice bird noise it's one of my best impressions we have no it is good we have no knowledge about whether either of those are even vaguely similar to what I'm quite sure that my one is maybe not relevant here Amy just finishes by saying the police aren't protecting the nest or the bird but the civilian population plovers aren't actually plovers at all they're actually masked lap wings.

37:13We call them plovers here for reasons we'll never know. Love all the way from Brisbane. Amy.

37:17Luke Moore: I've never been to Australia and I know that it does exist because I know people who've been there and I know people who are from there. But it doesn't fully feel like it's real. It does feel... It's like Super Mario world. Everything you touch will kill you. Yeah, indeed. And this is just further proof of that, isn't it? Have you ever been attacked by a nesting bird? No. I don't think so. I was on holiday in Mexico and the place we were staying in had these amazing birds called grackles who are really like you can feed them by hand they've got loads of character they make a weird little noise that sounds a bit like a sort of like a kind of child's toy almost like a crow yeah they're brilliant they're amazing but on the last day uh of my holiday was sat around the pool and one of them must have had a chick because they were like just flying directly into the faces of everybody literally dropping little rocks on people in the pool and stuff they get very very territorial and this is like an australian bird so obviously you have to times it by 100 it in terms of how terrifying it is.

38:10Luke Moore: Probably wearing a vest. Probably poisoning it. Got a mullet. Sounds terrifying. And they're also driving utes, aren't they? We're in Edinburgh. I don't know if it's still the same, but certainly in recent years, they had a problem in a particular place with seagulls defending their nests. Like dive-bombing people and stuff. When I was in Australia, waiting for a bus once, there was a couple of friends, and one of them had their backpack on the floor and the bus stop. Big old backpack because he's doing this backpacking thing. And when he went to pick it up there was a huntsman spider on it the size of a fucking side plate.

38:47And they don't bite

38:48Luke Moore: do they? But they're aggressive for that reason. They're not poisonous so they're quite aggy. Yes, there's no need to be scared. Yeah, no need to be scared. You should have seen me not being scared. That's what I mean. They're aggressive, aren't they? Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't know. What do they do if they don't bite? They've got loads of fingers to raise. They're very sweary spiders. Yeah, fair enough. I honestly thought you, and I wanted you to say, and a massive big bird grabbed the rock sack and flew off of it. I was like, oh, now you're talking. Now, Jim, you're asking me whether it's aggressive or not.

39:17You keep asking me that. Yeah, he wasn't around to find out. How long do you think I'm standing there? I'm telling you, it was about 10 centimetres. They're probably bigger than that even. It's like that big.

39:25Luke Moore: They may be aggressive, but they're not very fast at chasing people. Yeah. They weren't that day. Although I was also once, we have to move on from this, but I was once in the Cook Islands, right? And they have these things in the Cook Islands Have you seen them? No. Have you seen how big they are? I don't believe you. Have you blown it up? Bloody hell, right? They're so big, you can hear them walking. They're that big. Really? Depends on what they're walking on, though. Look at that. Ugh. Yeah. It's kind of like a spider. It's a crab, though. Yeah. It's harder. I've eaten a crab like that. You wouldn't be eating that, I tell you.

39:57Luke Moore: I ate it for breakfast, Jim. There's genuinely more chance of that eating you than you eating that. That's not true. You're only a little fella. Yeah. I'm bigger than that. That could overpower you. Not this right peg, Jim. punt it yeah exactly I once saw an albatross in the Galapagos island so up yours thanks for your email Amy it was very very polite it's not about you it's about Amy Jim get us out of here Jim come on final question let's make it a serious one that was a bit of nonsense Matt's been in touch on X feels like it's been a while who is currently the hardest manager in the Barclays now I think we used to do this every season back in the day it's been a long time and I think we need to show our work in in this let's perhaps assume there's some sort of street fighter style knockout tournament I think it's Paul Plover is the hardest one Paul Plover straight away who have you got I can give you a kind of little mini short this is the ones I think are worth a damn yep if you like Vita Pereira yes Nutter Joe Pesci vibes Ange Postacoglu yep David Moyes yep Daniel Farker oh yeah stick head imagine him sticking the head on you on a slot yeah and I think that's probably about it.

41:06I think that's a decent list. That nearly matches mine. Maresca's probably a dark horse. Yeah, that was the only other one I was going to say.

41:11Luke Moore: Maresca, he's got a sort of Bond villain, aquatic henchman thing going on. I think he's probably quite tough as well. I think Marco Silva could be a little bit of a dark horse. Wet blanket. What I would like to see... Hang on, hang on. He's not a wet blanket, but he's not going to beat up all those lot. Yeah. What I'd like to see in one of the early rounds is Ange v. Farker. That's going to be a slugfest. Yeah. It's going to be sweaty. I think Andrew come out on top the size of heads on display I don't know I think Farker I'm leaning towards Farker he'll be glorious in defeat I couldn't imagine David Moyes losing a fight nah same even at his age 62 or whatever he is now old man strength definitely old man strength pulsing through those veins yeah just got a massive set of keys in his pocket like yeah the only reason David Moyes is stopping the fight halfway through is just to go and straighten up his parking then he's coming back he's coming back again little breather reassure the landlord that it won't get too bad roll his own roll his own little cigarette straighten up his parking and then go back in with a windmill I think Thomas Frank you know we talked about a pragmatist I think Frank Frank's getting nowhere near it no I think he could handle himself no way alright fine Vita Pereira I think you know he's that nutter but I don't think he wins Vita Pereira would eat just eat Amorim and Silva on the same day Portuguese off just take them both out the same day he'd bite your legs off definitely Scott Parker has an old school sort of east end hard and I think he'd go further than you might think He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He's not going to He would be He would be A respectable finisher No for me Scott Parker Is sinister enough To have that reputation But he sits at the Back of a pub In East London In a nice jacket With a collar up Yeah And someone else Just turns up With a shotty And just takes someone out He doesn't get his hands dirty With a shotty He doesn't get his hands dirty No way Parker's Getting his hands dirty So who are we thinking Can I just say Before we Before we settle on that Yeah Ruben Amarin might not be the hardest manager.

42:59Luke Moore: Correct. Might not be anywhere near it, but he has an untapped rage no one else can compete with. Do you know what? He has so much fury to get out for thousands of obvious reasons. You're spot on. I'll tell you why Arim's dangerous. Simply because he's got nothing left to lose. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. He's got nothing left to lose. He needs to let this aggression out. Yeah. He hates his players. He hates his kids, but it's you he's going to be punching. He's Liam Neeson in taking, but he doesn't want his babies back. Exactly. He wants them further away. Yeah, I'm not taking my babies back. I think you've got to say it's Pereira it's Posta Coglu Farka I think Farka Moise I don't think those those two are going going all the way for me I'm whittling it down to to Farka and Moise that's what I'm looking at and I think a big listen not the same boxing a good big guy beats a good little guy every time I think it's Pereira and Maresca Maresca Maresca I think is definitely worth I think he's an outside bet for me but he's definitely worth a punt yeah it's really hard to have this discussion without getting into regional based stereotypes as well so I'm really trying not to I'm really trying not to because I've got some views about the Italians when it comes to battles I just think but I think Farker though if he sticks the head on anybody see you later you cannot look around the Farker melon it's just impossible to look past it quite literally but also in the context of this as well you're going to do your fist damage hitting it big time and I think as well he got work on the body despite his despite his little voice if you look at his head and if he went absolutely postal that would be so scary.

44:29He's also spent a lot of his time as a player knocking about some quite unfancied lower league German teams where it's going to be tough around there. I think that's part of it as well. There's no one else I mean we haven't talked about Slott. Slott's jolliness belies quite a serious contender I think.

44:44Luke Moore: Well I think Moyes or Farker would have Slott but Slott I don't think would be a weakling by any stretch of the imagination. Slopper's slapping him on his head. Farker would be slapping him on his head. I think Farka's too respectful for that. Yeah, he might be. Pereira's slapping him. Yeah. Yeah, Pereira. Pereira will get in your head. The final is Pereira v Farka. Do you think? Not Moyes. Do you think just because of the age? Yeah, getting to the last stages of a tournament like this. I just can't imagine Moyes losing a fight. He's wheezing towards the end of the tournament. Because it all happens on one day, right?

45:16Luke Moore: Yeah, definitely. It's like Bloodsport. It's like Jean-Claude Van Damme film Bloodsport. The winner stays on. Yeah, definitely. I think Moyes runs out of steam. What about Glasner? Bit of a Dalsim kind of vibe? Long limbs? He's not got it in him. Nah, you're right. Glasner would be the kind of guy who would say, I think he would respectfully say, appreciate you putting this tournament together, lads. It's not for me. I'm going to go and put my feet up. One guy we haven't thought of. Graham Potter. Oh, God. Oh, no, he got angry the other week, didn't he? He did get angry, yeah. I'm sure he did.

45:45Luke Moore: He got his wand out, Jim. That's not a euphemism. Graham Potter would win a fight against a West Ham fan selected at random. I think quite dramatically not. Let me rephrase this. Which Premier League manager will win at Quidditch? Whatever they play in that film. Anyway, thank you very much for listening to that film. For the Moral Mailbag, part of the ACAST created network. I'm back tomorrow with Vish and Pete where we'll be reacting to the first Champions League fixtures. Arsenal are off to Bilbao and Spurs host Villarreal. Please do send us your responses, opinions and questions for next week's Mailbag and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts.

46:22Before we go, Jim, one final chance to fight the corner of Mikel Arteta?

46:29Luke Moore: Open letters don't count. He has not got a chance. Put your whiteboard away, Arteta. Bang! Yeah. See that braided heart of yours? We're ripping that hand, Jake, apart. Farka's using that whiteboard like a fucking chair in a wrestling match. Smashing it right and rearranging his head. Yeah. I think, yeah, Farka for me. Who are you going for? You've got to pick one. Come on. I'm going for Farka. Jim? It's Pereira for me. Well, Farka wins 2-1. Yeah. All points. Yeah.

47:01The Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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