My Biddy Aunt: Champions League Icons

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3:24Vish: Hello everybody, welcome to the Football Ramble this Friday afternoon. It's my Biddy Ant and I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Vidusha the Hunter-Raja.

3:47Vish: Hello everybody, it's that time again where the best of the best go head to head. And that's why I'm refereeing. it's Luke versus Vish I buggered it up last weekend we had a ding dong

3:57Luke: last weekend it can go either way it was against me not against Vish last week

4:00Vish: of course yes Luke but I'm rent free

4:03Luke: in his head

4:06Vish: you're not no you do charge you pay in many

4:10Luke: many ways to be a Marxist head trust me

4:12Vish: yes you're just the lease holder because of those old laws we still have now everybody Vish is the current lineal champion

4:20Luke: which just always seems to be the case I'll take my after ball for a week I'm not on a show on a Friday for a couple of weeks I come back and as sure as night follows day Vish is somehow the champion

4:31Vish: well I needed to finish that since he's the lineal champion for my biddy and of course I'm the lineal champion for Jackson Cyclopaedia what game will we play today that belt's safe that's in the bag can't lose that today

4:39Luke: safe for this week did you offer to host

4:43Vish: I didn't but of course as Luke beat me last week I can't really

4:49Luke: host can I I've won last week of course yeah he deserves the shot chair this week. Come on, there's no need for that. He suits it very well.

4:57Vish: Leave the sexual deviancy to an absolute bare minimum. So Luke, you have a chance to snatch that belt off of Vish and his trousers will be around his ankles.

5:07Luke: I'm looking forward to it. That's mostly the reason I want to do it. But also, you can't... Cartoon carrying stuff. You can't also realistically say, Marcus, in your position, you're about to watch two other men get greased up and get down to it and you're somehow not in the cup chair. Come on. That's what the cock chair is. Stop that.

5:27Vish: Vish, yes, you beat Jim a couple of weeks ago. So, as I say, Luke has a shot of getting that belt.

5:33Luke: Do you want to take it? Because it's a belt for steak. Have you got a belt on now? I do, yeah. Should we both take our belts off and put them on the table?

5:40Vish: That would be big licks, wouldn't it? It'd be a bit weird, wouldn't it?

5:42Luke: He's not up for it. Say you're not up for it. Don't make excuses.

5:45Vish: All right. He's not up for it, everybody. First blood to Luke Moore.

5:49Luke: The line game is 1-0.

5:51Vish: 1-0 to the nation.

5:52Luke: as Jose Mourinho famously said oh yes the game starts when I offer to take someone's belt off stuff like this on the round wall always ends up with umpteen people DMing me saying in this case something like I can't believe you didn't take your belt off yeah soft yeah because you're frightened of the Luke Nation the amount of support I got last week the outpouring was extraordinary Marcus it really was extraordinary the Luke Nation are pumped now they've seen me get off the mark they're right behind me they would want nothing better than for me to grab that belt off Vish and his trousers to fall down and see a little wee stain on his pants.

6:30Luke: Vish, are you scared

6:32Vish: of the people's army of the Luke Nation?

6:34Luke: There's nothing to be scared of but if you're not with us you're against us. Right.

6:37Vish: So you're against them like the rest of us. Yeah, fine. Why haven't you got

6:39Luke: your own armies?

6:41Vish: Well, because we're weak. Because you can't inspire anyone because you keep getting beat? Well, I've got the lineal belt for Jackson's Wikipedia, mate. For a different game.

6:49Luke: Oh, great. We also play here. I've got another belt at home. All right. I was a top scorer for St. John's Primary School in 1996.

6:57Vish: I have a feeling that I may skew this little one to old Vish over there.

7:01Luke: As if you weren't going to do that anyway.

7:02Vish: Anyway, don't worry if you don't know the rules, everybody. They're simple. After all the bad-mouthing, each round I'll name a footballer. One player will bid how many of their clubs they can name. Their opponent can raise the bid or challenge them to list their clubs. Only professional clubs count, as Luke found out last week. Oh, yeah. With Ravel Morrison. and the player must have had a competitive appearance for that club these are crucial things fail to meet your bid and your opponent scores first three points wins today's theme is champions league icons and i'll tell you something okay i'm actually quite encouraged by i think i think this is a lovely one because there'll be players that will actually have heard of i do i do i do think this is a lovely a lovely game for you today playing for teams that we've

7:44Luke: actually watched. Yes. In theory. Yeah.

7:46Vish: So the first player that we're going to mention. Who goes first? Who goes first? Well, as annoyingly, as you're the challenger, you go first. About time. The first player that I'm going to mention here has played for seven clubs. You will have enjoyed a lot of his career, perhaps even all of it. Patrick Kluivert. Now, there are dead certs here. I've no doubt that you're going to have a good go at this. But seven clubs for old Patty Clivert, Luke Moore. A wonder kid, of course. Burst onto the scene as a teenager.

8:22Luke: I can't do seven.

8:23Vish: But how many can you do, Luke Moore? That is the question on everyone's lips at this moment in time.

8:28Luke: My tactic in this game, as you guys know, is to find the sweet spot bib when I'm going first. Yep. I think I can probably do that with this. And if I can, and Vish can go over and above that, I think you've just got to hold your hands up and say, fair enough.

8:41Vish: Sometimes you've got to hold your hands up.

8:42Luke: Five.

8:43Vish: I think that's a very good solid bid

8:45Luke: That's a very good bid I have nothing for that

8:47Vish: So Vish You'd like Luke to name His five teams That Patrick Kluivert Has played for I mean When you said five I thought That should be enough To be honest Yeah That is enough Yeah Okay Well let's see if he can get them Vish Yeah got to get it done It's all very well Having the bid isn't it I want you to name five Football clubs That Patrick Kluivert Played for in his career

9:08Luke: So Ajax Barcelona Barcelona. Milan. Obviously played for Newcastle.

9:19Vish: And this is the big one.

9:20Luke: I think later on in this career he went back quite, I can't remember how controversial it was, but it feels like it was quite controversial back to PSV in Holland.

9:27Vish: Well played. Nice. Well played. I thought you were, you got your five there so point to Luke Moore. I thought you were going to say Valencia actually. I had Valencia down. Yeah, but fair play. Finished his career at Lille. Didn't know that either. Yeah, so I mean, obviously it's the easy end.

9:41Luke: I don't have any memory of him playing for Valencia. How long was he there for? I didn't have down Milan.

9:46Vish: He's only there a season. Yeah, Milan, I remember. But yeah, PSV, I certainly wouldn't have got that one. So well done, Luke Moore. Great start for the nation.

9:52Luke: Weirdly enough, I was... The Luke nation. No, the whole nation. Correct the first time. Let's get up a lamppost, lads. Right? I was a bit worried about Milan, actually. I thought he did play for them, but I couldn't picture him in the kit. But there we go. Oh, right. There we are. Or as we were supposed to say, as the locals say, AC Milan.

10:11Vish: Yeah. Associon Calcio Is that what it stands for?

10:14Luke: I'm sure it does Air conditioning Milan To give them the correct full name

10:19Vish: Oh no, Associon Calcio was AC Slater's name That's right, that's right Round two Associon Calcio Slater It seems so unlikely But these are the funny things that we find out later in life And obviously his famous rival, Sporting Club De Zac Morris

10:37Luke: Exactly, that's right Do you feel like the AC Slater today or De Zac Morris?

10:41Vish: I feel like the weird little one who went into porn and died. Screech, oh yeah. Dustin Diamond. He didn't die because of porn. He denied that was him, actually.

10:48Luke: That's what a Pete Donaldson quote. I forgot the weird little one who went into porn and then died. It's only one nil down, mate.

10:54Vish: He later said that wasn't him in the video.

10:56Luke: Right, round two.

10:58Vish: Round two. What, Pete? Vish, you... Because if so, I don't believe it. No, it was the bloke who manages Brentford. Now, round two. Round two. Vish, you're a point down. I don't think you need me to tell you that this is a crucial one.

11:12Luke: I'd be embarrassed to get whitewashed with you.

11:13Vish: I fancy you to do all right with this one. This is the type of player I think that you'll just pluck something out of the bag. But let's see, ladies and gentlemen. Round two. I want you to name as many of the nine clubs that Mario Mandzukic played for. Fucking hell. What's wrong with that? Nine. There's nothing wrong with it. Nine clubs. you'll be able to you know as well as I do that you can get some names down here I'll give you a little bit more time with this one Mario Mandzukic but yeah if my memory serves me if my memory serves me well he scored the goal that knocked out England the 2018 World Cup I'm going to talk as slowly as possible so someone can fact check that for me but I'm pretty sure that he was the bugger nine clubs for him nine clubs for I'll be honest right I'll put everything I own on the line that you're not going to get all nine fucking no way you know but we are going to have to have an opening bid very soon Vish how many of Marivet Manzuka just nine clubs do you think you can do

12:18Luke: I mean I'll stretch to four

12:21Vish: could be the sweet spot Luke Moore

12:22Luke: no I think I've got five one of them is a gamble okay I'm going to keep you're going to go for five I'm going to keep my foot on the neck and bid five let's see if Vish wants to do six

12:31Vish: well that is That is impressive if you go five. Vish, can I hear a six? No. No? I can't do six. No. Okay. Luke Moore.

12:39Luke: Yeah, but can I do five?

12:40Vish: Have you been inspired by me somewhat? Obviously, I lost last week in the Adriano bid. So, five clubs. Five clubs of Mario Mandzukic, Luke Moore. Five months of Vish, you don't want to do six? No, I can't do six. He's not doing six. Oh, good. Right, far away.

12:56Luke: All right, so I think he... Let's go with the ones I definitely know he's played for. So I'm pretty sure he played for Atletico Madrid. Yeah.

13:03Vish: I mean, he's their type of striker, isn't he?

13:05Luke: Yeah, I'm pretty sure he played for Bayern Munich.

13:07Vish: Won the Champions League. You and I were in attendance that night, Luke Moore, at Wembley.

13:10Luke: I'm pretty sure... That was against Dortmund, wasn't it?

13:12Vish: It was.

13:12Luke: Yeah. I'm pretty sure he signed for Bayern Munich from Wolfsburg.

13:18Vish: Very well played. Well played, sir. So you've got three out of your five so far.

13:22Luke: I've definitely seen him play for Juventus.

13:23Vish: He definitely did play for Juventus. I think he scored in another Champions League final in Cardiff, where they were beaten 4-1 by Real Madrid. is that the amazing over head kick

13:30Luke: is that the four you had no just out of interest no okay right

13:35Vish: right and we need a fifth one from you

13:36Luke: so this is basically a guess yep but like I said I'm going to try and keep my foot on my throat because I want to try and do it the right way

13:42Vish: that's the way you do it

13:44Luke: I'm thinking given his nationality and given their reputation I think there's a pretty good chance he came through at Dinamo Zagreb

13:49Vish: it's it yes it's correct nice well he actually I mean you're never going to get this one Massonia in Croatia was his first club

13:56Luke: oh so he didn't come through at Dinamo Zagreb

13:58Vish: he just played for them NK Zagreb was the next one. DLW Zagreb was his third club, actually. Wolfsburg, Bayern Munich, Let's Go Madrid, Juventus. He got them all. He went off to Qatar after Juventus with Al Duhal and finished at AC Milan, actually. Short stint at Milan. Oh, yeah.

14:15Luke: No memory of that. Short stint at Milan.

14:17Vish: Do you remember that? I can see it now. Yeah, it's... You should have said it then. I can't stress enough. It is really easy when you're told or you have the answers in front of you. Okay.

14:28Luke: It's mad because all of our listeners know all of them all the time. It's mental, isn't it? Apart from the Luke Nation, we're very supportive and very honest.

14:58even if you get off the meds. Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Hi, I'm Nick, co-host of The Best One Yet. You optimize your workouts, your portfolios, and that rando startup idea that hit you in the middle of the shower. But if you're not hydrated, you're already playing catch-up. So we keep a stash of Liquid IV in our studio.

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16:58Vish: now 2-0 Luke Moore has the serve and this is this is a chance really to wrap it up we will play all five rounds for the sake of entertainment but Luke Moore you can finish off the game here there's guessable ones in here seven clubs for Fernando Morientes

17:17Luke: oh I haven't thought about that man since about six months ago when I saw a photo of him and thought wow he looks old

17:23Vish: so you've thought about him more recently than probably the majority of people.

17:26Luke: Just randomly saw a photo of him.

17:28Vish: Yes. Seven clubs, sorry. Seven clubs. Fernando Morientes. This is a toughie. Vish, you don't need me to tell you, but you desperately need this point now. Seven clubs for Fernando Morientes. A beautiful man, great head of hair. And according to Luke Moore, still has those looks and hair.

17:47Luke: He's still got his hair. He's got a big head as well.

17:50Vish: Yeah. Used to use it pretty effectively.

17:53Luke: This is a tactical thing for me because I'm what do I bid here?

17:57Vish: He's going to share his tactics with you Vish.

18:00Luke: No because I don't know whether to go do you know what it's worked for me so far bidding five and I can definitely do four and I did that last time and I guessed and it was right so the superstitious side of me says I'm going to bid five.

18:19Vish: I'm too up. I'm too up. Very superstitious. are you going to bid five?

18:24Luke: Yeah, because I'm tuning them up and I think I've got the luxury of being able to get it wrong and still have a chance of winning. A good chance of winning. So I'm going to go five out of seven.

18:31Vish: I think that's a strong bid. Five clubs for Morientes. I mean, there's only two more that he would have played for. Seven, of course.

18:40Luke: This is right in the sweet spot for me because I was an absolute pervert for players in the 90s. I used to consume it. I used to read World Soccer all the time. 4-4-2, that kind of stuff. I was really into it. So this is right in there for me, which does help me.

18:52Vish: Vish. five clubs Luke Moore has bid for Fernando Morientes. Are you going to die on your sword? Or are you going to die at all? I mean, Luke sounds confident. I feel like I'm going to die. Are you going to go six, or are you going to let Luke do his five?

19:08Luke: I mean, a brave champion would go on out of his own terms, I would say. So I'm actually not, I'm not against you going six. I'm not trying to put you off. I think you'll have to guess one, and I would then have to guess two. So I'm going to ask you to do your five.

19:22Vish: I feel Vish that you've you've made your answer so you're going to ask Luke to do his five I've just got too many to guess from I feel that that could be what makes you lose the game Luke Moore

19:33Luke: Vish is a worthy champion but he is an unpopular champion and I think it's because he sits there and doesn't try and do anything you have not guessed a single club yet well yeah because you keep you know you're just trumping Luke is playing

19:45Vish: a very much a Lewis and Ricky PSG high pressing game here and Luke just can't get out so then Luke Moore for an early victory can you name five clubs Fernando Morientes has played for I think you sound very confident probably not

19:59Luke: go on but I think I can definitely name four right Liverpool Real Madrid of course fucking hell I thought what you got to press the button Valencia and he definitely played for Monaco

20:14Vish: there's the four

20:15Luke: now I have a feeling

20:16Vish: presumably you had those four Vish is that the four

20:18Luke: you had Vish yeah

20:20Vish: he's just shown me his work there

20:21Luke: so this is very much a high risk high reward play and I'm partly doing it because I'm tuning up I think and I just have a memory of when they signed

20:33Vish: I'm quite confident he knows this this is all a bit of the build up

20:35Luke: when he signed for Real Madrid so he played up front with Raul Raul was a Real Madrid guy through and through came through at Real Madrid all the rest of it they signed Morientes and I think they signed him after a really good season at Real Zaragoza. That's my educated guess. I just have a memory of that happening.

20:57Vish: Real Zaragoza is the bet and... Oh, no!

21:00Luke: Oh, see?

21:02Vish: A very impressive game from Luke Moore there, everybody. Very, very impressive stuff. He grabs the belt off Vish. Vish's trousers are down by his ankles and he isn't wearing any underwear, quite worryingly. The other two clubs that he played for, he started at Albacete. Didn't expect to get that. finished at Marseille

21:20Luke: not getting that ooh

21:21Vish: ooh so Vish you have a chance to get a bit of respectability back on the scoreline so I would say that but Luke Moore relaxing to the chair

21:31Luke: champions chair one for the nation it's not for me it's for the Luke nation you know that

21:35Vish: that's absolutely right so round four Vish we're going to start with you played for six clubs Franck Ribéry Ribéry

21:43Luke: God I mean tell you what if this had come earlier Vish would have had a real chance

21:49Vish: I've got to say look you were very impressive in that game more impressive this week than you were last week

21:54Luke: I'm struggling here

21:55Vish: yeah last week you and fair play you won it but you know it was my error it was nip and tuck

22:02Luke: yeah

22:02Vish: whereas you've blown away Vish but Vish has got a chance as I say to get a

22:07Luke: I really want to win all five points

22:09Vish: yeah well I mean you still could Vish I'm going to have to push you for a bid here how many of Frank Ribéry's clubs can you name six of them

22:17Luke: Three. Three? I can't do four. Really? I've only got two written down. It's like I've mentally relaxed.

22:24Vish: Right.

22:24Luke: I'm annoyed because I want to get all of them.

22:26Vish: Okay, are you going to go for four?

22:28Luke: No. Why don't I just... No, I want Vish to do some work. Alright then Vish, name three clubs that Frank will be in. I've never seen Vish look less confident than Frank Rubellum.

22:38Vish: I mean he's squirming isn't he? I don't like to see you like this Vish. Yeah, I've... Buy Munich.

22:44Luke: That's the one. I had that one. Fiorentina? I had that one because it was a big move, wasn't it? Yep. Marseille?

22:49Vish: Yeah, I thought he played briefly for Galatasaray. I was going to say Galatasaray, but I couldn't quite square it in my head. Yeah, he started at Metz and then finished his career with Salonitana. So maybe, I mean, three was probably the sweet spot there. I don't know why he's playing for Galatasaray stuck out in my mind. He wasn't there for very long. It's strange. To the point where I was like, oh, maybe, did he go to Bayern Munich from Galatasaray? Yeah, yeah, it's an odd one, that. I don't know why. But anyway, you got the point. You got the point. It's a consolation. Got to take that. It's a consolation.

23:18Luke: Listen, I cannot tell you how far away I was from four there. So it's a fair point.

23:22Vish: Yeah. Now, round five, the last one. So Vish, again, for a bit more credibility on the score sheet. But Luke, you could really push home your superiority here. Round five, eight clubs. Michael Essien.

23:37Luke: I was reading the Discord from Jimmy to the B that every single game this year, so far it's been 3-2 the chance for me to go 4-1 would be a noticeable thing

23:47Vish: would be quite something so how many clubs? 8 8 of the buggers Luke Moore can I get a bid from you at how many clubs Mickey Essien played for? old Messien

24:00Luke: God I'm not very good at this one either let's have a bid

24:06Luke: I'll bid 4 4?

24:08Vish: I think that's a good one and I'll have a little think about it

24:10Luke: in the meantime

24:11Vish: could be the sweet spot there Vish can I hear five from you you little loser come on yeah Garner I'll do five there we go I mean I don't know five but I'll do five there's a little bit of fight there yeah can I hear six from you Luke can I have Garner it's not Garner not a club it's a country

24:31Luke: well it feels like a club when you're there

24:33Vish: I have been there I know you have I'll tell you what the music never stops so you're right

24:37Luke: what have they been five

24:38Vish: five

24:38Luke: I can't do six go on do your five go on then

24:40Vish: let's have five clubs that Michael Essie and played for to take us into the weekend Vitushan and Araja

24:45Luke: it would be beneath us all for me to try and namesake it would just be horrendous it would just be well start with it

24:51Vish: start with it start with the obvious place Chelsea Real Madrid yeah Lyon there we are thank you that's a point isn't it

25:00Luke: you need two more

25:02Vish: two more big boys

25:04Luke: I had one written down it wasn't one of those three weirdly enough

25:06Vish: oh yeah well I mean there are five other clubs you played for think about it

25:13Luke: my god my brain is gone I've beaten him into submission he's lost all his confidence you've still got two more I know yeah

25:21Vish: I said it was a risk I think I speak on behalf of the listeners this is sad to see you like this fucking hell I'm afraid not so

25:34Luke: he played for Milan didn't he he did play for Milan after

25:38Vish: wow so what did we miss we Bastia in France is where he started. Didn't think you'd get that one. I thought you might get Milan. Panathinaikos after Milan. Perse Bandung in Indonesia. Visual kicking yourself now. And then oddly, Sabal in Azerbaijan is where he finished. So I thought you might get Milan. But it's easy. Was that eight?

26:03Luke: Start to finish. Read eight of them now.

26:05Vish: Bastia, Lyon, Chelsea, Real Madrid, AC Milan, Panathinaikos, Perse, Badung and Sabal.

26:09Luke: Blimey, that's It's hard than it looks.

26:11Vish: It is, yeah.

26:11Luke: I mean, so basically two of them are ungettable.

26:13Vish: When you bid four, I thought that surely. That is the sweetest of all the sweet spots. Yeah. But Vish sort of admirably went for five, but it didn't stop him.

26:23Luke: Not knowing that two of them were clubs that literally have never been heard of before. You might as well be naming parts of fucking Mordor.

26:29Vish: I suppose we should give you an element of credit there. But there we are. Vish is pantless. Luke has a belt.

26:36Luke: I'm so pleased about that.

26:37Vish: Yeah. Because it's only last week

26:40Luke: I started playing again. I wasn't put on a Friday show for the start of the season.

26:42Vish: Because you were away on holiday. Okay, we wanted you on holiday. Yeah, put on.

26:46Luke: Those facts are not mutually exclusive.

26:47Vish: I suppose that when you do start a movement like the Luke Nation, conspiracy theories are a part of it.

26:51Luke: Yeah, I was doing, listen, I was on holiday doing the rounds, meeting all the members of the Luke Nation in my constituency offices. Is that right?

26:57Vish: You didn't know where your constituency was. It's a movement.

27:00Luke: It's a movement.

27:00Vish: He'd never been to his constituency before that. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Round. We're part of the Acast Creative Network. don't speak over the outro myself Fish and Jim are back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football Luke presumably will still be in his constituency then make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube Spotify Apple or wherever you get your podcasts well done Luke more commiserations to you Vish but well done to me for hosting brilliantly and what's funny about it

27:30Luke: go on Vish's big shtick last season the season before was that he doesn't care look how much he cared today

27:35Vish: he forgot that he didn't care listen to this

27:37Luke: he forgot that he didn't care

27:39Vish: the voice the tone the gloating

27:41Luke: sometimes you can care too much I don't think I just cared too much I just didn't know the clubs are the players

27:48Vish: well look take inspiration because you are currently surrounded by the two belt holders there we go there we are are you going to play next week are you allowed to play next week I think I should be okay

27:57Luke: like a cop between two bollocks you now look at you

28:01Vish: I don't know if that's good or bad but yeah so make the most of it while you've got the belts as I am right thanks very much have a lovely Friday see you later

28:17The Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network

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