My Biddy Aunt: Footballers turned broadcasters

0:28It's two of them. I can't give you that. Fuck. What were they called? Deli Dynamo. Oh, Peter. Jim.

0:41It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Rumble. It's my pretty aunt. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson. Bye.

1:09Hello, everybody. We're back with my biddy aunt. Luke is away today, so we're doing a league fixture. It's myself versus Pete Donaldson. Jimmy Campbell is on the buttons. Over to you, Jim Campbell. Gone in early with the buttons there. I'm drunk with power and alcohol. So, yeah, here we are. My biddy art, if you don't know the rules, they are very, very simple. Each round, I will name a footballer. One of Pete or Marcus will bid on how many of their clubs they can name. Your opponent can then raise the bid or challenge you to list them. Only professional clubs count, and the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team.

1:47If you fail to meet your bid, your opponent scores. First to three points wins. Today's theme, in tribute to Rio Ferdinand's brilliant presenting work at the World Cup draw is footballers turned broadcasters oh yeah it's so good isn't it because a lot of these would be like in the deep and distant past yeah could be 90s though I suppose I'm hoping on my go I get Gary Neville we'll see won't we so I have the power to choose surely one of us has got to get Neville and Carriger just to get the points up you know what let's just give you both those so you're both starting with a point lovely oh there was a load spell It's always a cheeky loan spilt Yeah there is Phil went around a bit didn't he?

2:30Phil Neville did Not Gary Gary's still very useful So who are we going to start with? Pete's drawing a lovely picture there So I'm going to start with Pete Picture of producer George Giving Marcus a little kiss It is Marcus doesn't look happy in it either He's got a little bead on That's a good photo That's for socials isn't it? Photo That's how good the drawing is Yeah It's photo realistic If you make it move It'll be AI Right so So, Peter, you're up first. Our first player had 10 clubs. Oh, fucking hell. His name is Dion Dublin. 10 clubs. Fuck me. Dion Dublin. 10 are the bastards. He initially had five, but it kept doubling and doubling and doubling.

3:12Well, it just doubled once, surely. Shut up. Biddy biddy.

3:20I'm starting. You're starting. I mean, you don't have to go. 10 clubs is a lot is a lot Dion Dublin obviously famously seen as the host of Homes Under the Hammer whereas I understand it people would lose their houses and then Dion Dublin would sell them on the telly he would smash them up that would be better that would be a way better show you're getting rid of your house I'll do it for you I'll be trying to sell that what are you doing what are you doing with today dynamite today Dion Dynamite Dublin I've got a definite and solid that I am very keen on getting out five five is decent I think five is strong five is decent Marcus can I hear six or more if you're feeling like a showboater I'm going to put a marker down oh dear I'm going to go seven seven what seven clubs from Marcus Speller well I just Pete is Pete is unpredictable in this game and just in general generally yes I've made you I've made you unpredictable you've added you've added two on there why would he why would he be not why would he suddenly become predictable in this game and I just fear that if I went six he might suddenly be able to pull out seven so I'm reasonably confident with seven okay so Pete can I hear eight god no I've got I said I've got a solid five and fuck all else yeah yeah but you could be bluffing okay alright here we go so Marcus let's have your seven clubs suddenly I'm doubting myself Manchester United correct Norwich City Norwich I thought you were about to say no.

4:54I was doubting myself. Coventry City. Absolutely. Aston Villa. Them two. I'm going to have done four. You've done four, yes. Celtic. Oh. I'm quite sure that he played for Cambridge United. And you're correct. I started. So you've got to get one more. Leicester City. Well done. There we go. Very, very good. You could also have had... Millwall. Millwall, yeah. for Millwall. Millwall, that was a cheeky loan in 2002. How did you know that? Because he's a tough guy. See what I mean? He's a very underrated tough guy. And this is my point with Pete. He knew that he went there on a loan spell at Millwall.

5:32Because he's got knowledge of underrated tough guys. Yeah. This is the sort of thing that you can't... That's why he works with us, Jim. You and I both. He's so affable now, but he could really mix it. Well, he once stuck the head on Robbie Savage, which was quite enjoyable. Less of an achievement as a hard man, I would say. Yeah, true. It's like the car in Street Fighter, isn't it? Go on, who else did he play for? So there were two other cheeky little loan spells. One to Barnet in 1988 and one to Wickham Wanderers also in 1988. No, I've got them. Never in a million years. So Marcus, you are up for round two.

6:07Go on then. And you have Gary Lineker. Ooh, Gary Lineker. How many clubs? Five clubs.

6:18I can do all five. Yeah, I mean, you've got no choice there, Pete. Can you do six? Yeah, me too You can't Could you do all five? Yeah Okay So Gary Lineker I mean it's this Underarm throw this one But let's hear them Leicester City Correct Everton Absolutely Barcelona He's doing them in order Tottenham Hotspur That's them Norgoy Grandpas 8 Correct Do you have them Pete? That's a sick now Yeah 2-0 down I just feel like I haven't been able To be given the opportunity To express myself On the field You're unlucky there About five minutes To the end of the match Yeah It can It can swing like that Yeah yeah yeah Never mind I mean clearly Nagoya Grandpas 8 Were the ones I think Linnick is Like you said He's been around Such a long time He put them on the map There didn't they Grandpas 8 Give him Gary Devill Alright Pete You are up now Right This one also Played for five clubs It's One of Punditry's the most beige men it's Jermaine Genis ooh five clubs what are you thinking oh god as Ian Botham once said

7:38as he once tweeted as he once accidentally tweeted yes to his doctor who we all follow we all follow both B.B. Botham's doctor what are you thinking oh No I think I might Oh shit Where did he come from? Can't tell you that Jim where did he come from When he's not from Newcastle Alright I've got four Four clubs Can I hear all five from you Marcus? I can't I'm impressed that you got four Go on Name your four QPR Correct I forgot QPR They're an absolute goldmine in this game Yeah Of course Of course he bloody played for QPR I'd forgotten that Yeah Newcastle which you'd said earlier which I did have that one Spurs that's them

8:29oh he came from Nottingham Forest he certainly did well played and he also had a cheeky little loan he didn't know but he went on loan to Aston Villa in 2011 flipping Villa so yeah so I should I mean I should have even had four but yeah Forest Spurs I nearly said I nearly said he was at Palace to Nottingham Forest there I'm glad I rescued that point. Well played. That's good there. Villa, the loan spanker. How long do you know? Have you got in front? How long was it? I do not, but you don't care. Do you have Google? Well, I've got Google on my laptop. I've got Google on my laptop. So I'm going to use that.

9:06Borsful Betty over there. And have a little look-see. Played three games for Aston Villa on there. Oh, okay. That's why I don't remember it. Worth the Google. Yeah. I would say it. Fair.

9:23Right, so our next man Yes Our next pundit Right Is Paul Merson Merson He barely even pundits though, does he? He does a version of punditry As we do He's a pundit, come on He's a pundit, come on Don't be naughty Don't be mean about Paul Merson Don't be naive for crying out loud Oh God Six clubs Fuck Marcus, it's your go, isn't it? Six of the buggers. Six. Oh. Clubs. This is one of those ones where I can't give Petey an inch. No. Give me an inch, man. Because he's unpredictable. I'm going to say. And he might have weird specialist knowledge relating to Paul Merson. He seems like the sort of guy.

10:07Yes. Five. Five. Can I hear six from you, Peter? I'm really sorry. I can't. Okay. I'm really sorry. Well. This is for the game. Can I have five clubs that Paul Merson play for? Confident with four, and the fifth is a bit of a cheeky one. Okay. So, Arsenal. Correct. Middlesbrough. Yes. Aston Villa. He was at Aston Villa. Portsmouth. He was at Portsmouth. So, they're the four that I'm confident with. I may be missing an obvious one, but I think he played. It's the only club I've got to mention. Walsall. Did play for Walsall. Marcus Speller wins I haven't heard that for a while It sounded like you said Warsaw But I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt I'll tell you something very unfunny On Soccer AM Cool Yeah, yeah, yeah It's Friday Should I take my top off for it?

11:07On Soccer AM Of which I've mentioned this before in live shows and uncut But I'll say now I used to do a little bit of auto-queue Yes For Soccer AM Many moons ago and I remember, obviously I would see the script in front of me and I remember saying to the producer, oh, you've spelt, Walsaw is obviously W-A-L-S-A-L-L. You've spelt it like the Polish capital. I said, I can see how you've made that mistake. Whoever's done the script and he went, oh, no, no, it's a bit of a running joke because Walsaw sounds like Warsaw so we always just spell it like that. You know when someone explains a joke to you, you just look back at them and you think, I'm only a runner.

11:44I'm in too deep. Oh, right, yeah. See why that would be funny. What are you guys like? Just an example of the kind of gags we have around here. So what was the sixth club? The sixth club was a loan to Brentford in 1987, so you can both be forgiven. So that was the one I forgot. I had Arsenal, Warsaw, Portsmouth, Villa, Borough. Do you know what? I was up there. You were. You were unlucky again there, just the way that the questions felt. That's the way the cookie crumbled. I was a bit fortunate with Lineker and Mersin there. Yeah, you were. Well, I mean, there's one more round. One more round.

12:16Come on, Pete. To play for Pride. One more round, then it's battles to the ground. We should also point out that Paul Merson also played for Tamworth, Welshpool Town, K.R.U. and Hamworth Villa, but none of those teams are professional. They can all sod off those teams. They did. Where's K.R.U.? I don't know if that's even how you say it. Yeah, it's actually Peru. It's actually Warsaw. Pete, you are now up, aren't you? So it is your round right now. I'm down in my heart. Sure, but you are. It's my turn. You at least can go first, should you choose to. Remember, you're the host, Jim, so if you want to make this round count for six points, don't give me that sort of power.

12:53Not with the rum I've had. Cost victory. Yeah, true. So the final, here we go, footballer turned pundit in this edition of My Biddy And. He played for nine clubs. It's Chris Kamara. Nine is a lot, isn't it? I don't know whether I'm glad this is the last, non-competitive round. I am delighted I've got this wrapped up. If this was too all going into this, this is your old-fashioned, it's a lottery. Yes. This would be like your first ever penalty shootout. No one's practiced them. It's much more likely a lottery than it is nowadays. He clearly got used to traveling, didn't he? An apt person to present live from the grounds on Soccer Saturday, as he did he was travelling around anyway but it's he got the knowledge those are motorways but this is a classic case of like even of our generation he's a broadcaster yeah absolutely when he made his debut in 1975 for and a lot of his clubs are kind of like you don't know where they were in their history do you know what I mean yeah I know what you mean they were all professional though yeah well that's the rules so right can I have a bid from you Peter I'm gonna do I can definitely do two I think Yeah I mean So he can probably do three Yeah I mean Is that an official bid?

14:22Is that an official bid? I'm just gonna go straight to four Oh Blimey O 'Reilly Yeah he swore What a mind game Swinging Swinging for the fences When you say it's a mind game Without a stick Against whom? Against you In myself That challenges you to go for five Yeah Yeah, but I think, though, that if you do a mind game against yourself, the opponent couldn't predict that. Yeah. I do have to name the clubs, though. You do. You still have to do that. That's going to be the obstacle. You don't get a point for the mind game. I think that's a big opening bit. It is a big swing. It's a big swing. I thought the one he's more likely to have played for, yeah.

14:56There we go. He was a defender, wasn't he? No, come on. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I can answer that. No, he was... He played on the wing in a 4-3-3. That was all the rage back then, those formations. And the Christmas tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sides he played for always played total football. And sometimes he was in a WM as well. You've bought yourself enough time here. Go on. So it's my, I should respond really. Go on then, name your four. Yes, come on. Yeah, I'm absolutely stacking this one. I think there's one that I think you've gone for. There's one you can definitely get. You have gone for four.

15:45I think there's one that most people would get with Kamara. But let's see if you've got that one. I'm not sure whether I've got that one. I'm going to kick things off with Borough. Yeah, so I had Borough down. Thus beginning the Chris Kamara, Steve Gibson love affair. They went to school together, I believe. It's funny that you both identify that as the obvious one Because that was only alone That's not the obvious one for me I see Did he play for Man United? Did he play for Man United? Chris Kamara Man United It was the 80s You don't remember him playing You went for four And your second one was Man United You don't remember him playing It was the fucking 80s Alright Shall I We were eating sweets And sniffing glue Jim Was his third club Inter No No Fucking We had Deion Dover He played for Man United Not when they were at the best That doesn't mean that everyone Played for Man United Don't does it Did he play for Galatasaray Did he play for Leeds Right He did play for Leeds So there you go Right Yeah you've lost though Did he play for Southampton No He did not play for Southampton Think about him He's a northerner, Midland-y guy.

17:00I was thinking Sheffield Wednesday. So my three would have been Bradford City is the obvious one. Of course, she's in Romand United. Bradford City are in there. Because you remember he managed Bradford City and he definitely played for it. So I had Bradford, Middlesbrough. Before his Manchester United stint. And then I was going to go with that sort of northern Midland-y sort of vibe because again, the clubs around there, I was going to say Sheffield United. You would have been correct. He went there on loan and then signed permanently. He did the Wednesday. So Sheffield United, Bradford City and Borough were my three.

17:27so do you want his timeline love it love his timeline he started in 1975 at Portsmouth oh okay right when did he when did he have a stint at Sevilla Jim Man United worked good in the 80s it's not here he's that good that good yeah so he actually had two spells at Portsmouth fuck's sake he joined the Swindon lot he joined Pele's Brazil he also had two spells at Swindon Town he was two spellets winning town then the move to Alex Ferguson's Manchester United you pictured him in red you pictured him in red alright the only the 80s were a different Manchester United the teensy little fig leaf I'll I will I will give you the fact that he may well have had like a league cup appearance under Ron Atkinson at Man United yeah well I won't give you that and I've got the clubs he's playing for in front of me so you'd be wrong right far away so he then joined Brentford and represented the Brazil national team for a bit.

18:29After that, he moved to Stoke. Stoke! Exactly! Those are the teams you should have been guessing. Stoke. He must have played for Derby County. No, he didn't. He was a midfielder. He played for Leeds in 1990. Okay, well, fair play to him. Maybe we're doing him down here. We're doing him dirty. From Leeds, he went to Luton Town. Then he went to Sheffield United. Then Middlesbrough for that famous loan. And then he finished his career at Bradford City where he later became the manager. He also played for Welsh Paul, but they are not professional. I'm pleased that I could pick out three of his clubs Mark Dempsey got one cap One match for Manchester United at the time John Silverback Paul McGrath, bad example Clubs then I'll give you him John Silverback Mark Dempsey's not the commentator, that's Paul Dempsey Don't get that one Was he better than Clayton Blackmore?

19:18Potentially You have a bit of respect for Clayton Club legend for crying out loud Never mind enjoyable game though fun you were unlucky to be fair you were unlucky it'll be a pre-Christmas fun yeah you were unlucky with the way the cards fell in hindsight though I'd have been okay with Chris Kamara I would have been I wouldn't have been so bold yeah you don't know how it would have done I had three though I knew the three Man United hey look different side the streets will remember they will I love that you're still arguing effectively he did play for Man United your argument seems to be that reality is wrong that reality's got this one wrong I told you his mind game was against himself Oi in the interest of good practice can you have another look at the clubs he played for yeah ask chat GPT ask was he ever linked oh dear well there we are everybody what a way to finish I must have missed that Jeff you played for Man United I must have missed that Jeff he doesn't know he's an unreliable narrator so he could have popped in for a bit.

20:22Reminds me of that Bill Bailey gag where he was saying that a woman was chasing him round a market once going, you were in that band Hawkins. You were in that band Hawkins. Turns out I was. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network. We'll be back on Monday to react to all the weekend's footballing action. Make sure you're following us on socials, of course, at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get those pods of yours. Thank you very much, everybody. It's been an absolute pleasure. We march off into the weekend listening to Pitbull, of course.

20:52Even though it's Christmas, the party will not stop. Have a good one. See you Monday.

21:05Come on, you reds, come on, you reds. Just use your bell and use your heads. Giggsie and Schmeichel. Camara Scolese Cantona He popped his collar and went Au revoir I'm Chris Camara Oh dear The Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network