My Biddy Aunt: Goal of the season winners

0:02I think he played for Fiorentina It's a swallow Fucking hell Pete Man United Oh he didn't play for them did he? He didn't actually play for them Oh no Yes

0:20It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain But you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it Hello everybody Welcome to the Football Ramble It's Friday It's my pretty aunt I'm Marcus Speller I'm Luke Moore And I'm Jim Campbell

0:48Hello, everybody. It's the best time of the week, without a doubt. Where's the keys? They're ready. Okay, good. Don't you worry about that. The weekend is so close. but my biddy aunt is here and we have two fine young gentlemen of great accomplishment ready to go head to head against each other Luke is back and the belt is around his waist once again, he's got both belts unified them already you hear that Jim? you can really wear those as suspenders I could do, I could actually two belts is redundant one belt is redundant, if you've got suspenders just go for the suspenders I don't see them as my belts though of course I see them as the Luke Nations belts they are dedicated to them I'm going to do what Nena Cherry did when she won that songwriting award smash it into tiny little pieces and give it on necklaces to all different people is that what she did yeah do they not have to give them back can they get a replica yeah I'm not sure not really sure but that's apparently what she did we didn't do that with the FSA trophy no that'd be a very sharp necklace it's made of glass it's really heavy as well but it can break we'll be going for that again this year it's coming up soon stay tuned I am the champion I wear that I wear that crown heavy is the head that wears the crown, Jim.

1:59It's a crown now. Yeah, yeah. It's a crown. Oh, right. I thought the Lung Nation was a republic. It's an absolute monarchy. Is it? Yeah. A wonderful answer, sir. Yeah. Jim, what about the province of Jim Campbell? Yeah, yeah. It's lacking in silverware at the moment. No, Clan Campbell are as seething and prepared for violence. Seething and seedy. Are you up for it? I'm up for it, yeah. Yeah, that's part of the deal, isn't it? Are the clan up for it? The clan are always up for it, mate. It's part of the deal. I've watched Marcus Mount looking like these days. Well, I have been... Well, the kingdom of Speller.

2:39We're having a holiday. Yeah. We're having a holiday. But today I am the referee because Luke beat me last time. You know, sometimes these results don't go your way. But don't worry. If you don't know the rules, they're simple. Each round I name a footballer and one of these chaps will bid how many of their clubs they can name. their opponent then needs to raise the bid or challenge them to list the clubs only professional clubs count and the player must have played a competitive appearance for the teams named most famous example of that recently was when I came very close to losing to young Peter and he fell down naming Manchester United for Danny Drinkwater now he was there for a number of years but he never actually played for him and that cost him that did cost him so it's a good example of how that rule can come into effect it's a great example it's a recent example and we don't need any more examples So if you fail to meet your bid, of course, the opponent gets the points.

3:29First to three wins the game. Today's theme is BBC goal of the season winners. Okay. Oh, should we be some well-known players then? Yeah. So I honestly, I think this is a lovely one. Yeah. Of course, there'll be the usual moans and groans when straining to find out or remember which clubs that these players played for. But I think they're guessable. and I think that I think people are going to really enjoy this okay I'm looking forward to it Jim is the challenger you go first okay disagree he is the challenger but disagree that he should go first but it's okay I'm just saying that on behalf of the nation there'll be an uproar about that I can well fine but I've got my head in the freezer yes and the fire in my belly mate so I don't mind so yeah it doesn't sound like your mind sounds like something a rattled person firing the belly head in the freezer Jim so round one Jim Campbell this former footballer played for five clubs fairly low as they go on my biddy eye this is a very low start very low start interesting Didi Hamman Didi Hamman five clubs for that very tall and slender German scored some good goals in his career but where did he score some of these goals I met Didi Hamman once upon a time nice fella he was a nice fella loves cricket nice man yeah he's a nice man nice man you should be trying to think of the clubs was he big or was he diddy yeah he was you get a lot of times you might you think about it I'm going to go for three three yeah okay I expect Luke to to name more than three if I'm honest with you I'll do all five and I want you to look at my notes yeah yeah there you go yeah it's a bold move from Luke Moore because he only really needed to name four.

5:21I think it would be good, but he said all five and I'm going to have to hold you to five. So, Luke, I mean, this is really, the champ is going out swinging. He's coming into this match swinging. So all five clubs of Didi Hermans, please, Luke Moore. Right, I think he ended his career at MK Dons. And he definitely played for Newcastle, Liverpool, Man City. And I've sounded quite confident here, but he started obviously at a German club and it's between two and I think I think it's Bayern Munich that's what you're going for yeah good start Luke Moore I think I also know the goal of the season he scored because it was in Pompey's first season in the Premier League for Liverpool oh right yeah yeah I think at Anfield and Owen got the ball out wide and put it over the top it was an amazing volley into the top corner is that the one?

6:08I think you might be on the right lines there I thought he played for Bolton so you were safe either way mate yeah yeah yeah no you're right Didier Mann's volley against Portsmouth won goal of the season for 2003-2004. Yeah. Who was the other German club you had in mind? Leverkusen. Do you know what? It's funny because obviously when I get the clues I kind of have a little go in my head and I for some reason thought he played for Bayer Leverkusen. That's very strange. Maybe it feels like it would be wider known that he played for Bayern Munich I think. Yeah what tipped me over is just that so many players play for Bayern Munich it's just like the law of averages probably would have been there.

6:39Anyway. Yeah. Good start. I'm happy with that. But I mean he didn't have any time at Bayer Leverkusen who's not even at youth level, he started his youth career at Wackermünchen. Nice. Wackermünchen. Why aren't they bigger? That's what Bayern Munich say when they score their 15th goal of the game. That one was for the nation, by the way. Yeah. That one was for the nation. There's a camera on that one. That one's for the nation. So, that's a huge point for Luke Moore. That's a really, really big point because I think that he might fancy a bit of this one as well. Oh, good. In round two. I'm first this time as well, which is a bad thing.

7:12Round two. six clubs so again not that many but you got a real chance here Luke Mo Salah okay okay definitely got one he threw his head back there as if to say oh I might be struggling but now the cogs are going and I and I suspect Luke six will fancy a bit of this but then don't count out Jim Campbell the clan of Campbell will be behind him in this I can't believe he's played for six yeah oh do you know what come on Luke Let's have a bid. Five. Five! I just thought of the fifth one. There's no way I can get six. Yeah, I can't get six either. So, yeah, go for your five. Okay. Well, it sounds like you know them.

7:55Yeah. Oh, well. Well, I presume... I mean, that's your final answer, right? So I can speak through you. So, Luke, off you go. Well, I can only presume the sixth one is an Egyptian club. I've got no... Because I've got to believe in where he started. Right then, far away. He played for Basel. That's a big one. which is where he signed to Chelsea from. Ah, fucking Chelsea. And then he played on loan for Roma and for Argentina, I think. And then he went to Liverpool. Very well played, sir. What's the sixth one? Was Zamalek the sixth one? That would have been my guess. It's not Zamalek because that was the team you would naturally go for.

8:29Al Mokawulun. I wouldn't be with Guess Zamalek. No, Zamalek, again, when I was having a look at this, I thought, well, did he play for there? No, he did not. When you said he played on loan and you went for Roma, I thought, okay, yeah, but he obviously signed permanently. Oh, did he? Okay, I thought he went from Chelsea on loan to Roma and Fiorentina. Yeah. But I was confident. I thought, Basel's the one. And Fiorentina, to be fair. I remember him at Basel. Do you really? What season was the goal from? Yes, of course, Jim, you're absolutely right. It was the solo effort against Manchester City that won him the 2021-22 goal of the season.

9:04Which was a lovely start.

9:12Jim I can't stress enough you need this yeah you need this big time I'm aware you do need this and this one I think you're going to have a little grimace but there are there are you can you can do this round three six clubs again fairly low for my bitty aunt Glenn Johnson Glenn Johnson Glenn Johnson yeah okay he had a good career quite a few years ago played a number of times for England of course can I have them? you can't but he was he was a part of Fabio Capello's 2010 World Cup England team six of them is it? six clubs hey Siri people still using Siri are they? yeah so six clubs Jim if you ever think about this I think you'll be okay but I mean you really do need this Jim Campbell and I this isn't helping suspect that Luke Moore may come out swinging again I feel fairly confident but I can't think of anywhere I can't think of six no I'd be surprised if I'll leave that there so Jim Campbell have a good old think there's only three I'm certain of okay would it be I mean would it be would it be time to take a punt maybe or are you just going to settle in with three I mean I I might settle in with three and just have a fucking guess okay so what are you going to do are you going to go for four he's going for four yeah Luke Moore can I have five for Glenn Johnson I'm pretty confident of five and at risk of making this game boring I think I have to go for it Well of course you do I mean hubris might slip you up which would suit me I think if you're going to go 5 I think Luke Nation will be very proud of you whatever you do I only need to be 5 so I'm only going to be 5 yeah I'm going to be 5 Jim can I hear 6?

10:59No you can't Okay Luke Moore this would take you I might try and give you the 6 as a little bonus at the end Okay fine I think I've got an idea Alright go on then He played for Portsmouth the team I support so there we are we've got to give you a dinglet is it West Ham? West Ham started at West Ham is it Stoke City? finished at Stoke Chelsea and the fifth one I've got is Liverpool oh no Luke Moore wins now did he spend some time on loan at Millwall? oh he did very good I'm actually very pleased with that performance that is a comprehensive performance I think you've been chucked out of the clan, Jim.

11:41No, I can't be chucked out of the clan. It's based on my name. Oh, yeah, because no one's ever overthrown a king, have they, before? There isn't a king. You know what I mean. There is. You sit next to him, big boy. You facetious little sod. Yeah. Right, Jim, you need some respectability back on the score sheet. Oh, if that's gone. Well, you should be able to get at least one club for this next player. It's me first, isn't it? Who's played for it? It is. Yeah. The gym can still have a go. I've won a 5-0. I haven't had one yet, I don't think. All right. Round four. Ten clubs for a very controversial man.

12:18Controversial because he didn't have a right to reply, apparently, to a certain group of supporters. Ten clubs. Emmanuel Adebayor. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. A wry smile there from Luke Alvin Moore as he sits. He tightens the belt around his waist, knowing it's safe. but can he get a whitewash that's what he really truly wants that's the only thing missing from Luke Moore's season thus far impressive season it has been but Luke Moore can I have a bid from you for 10 clubs Emmanuel Adebayo how many can you do? not as many as I'd like come on have a bid four four Jim I can do five you can do five can you?

13:00can you do six Luke Moore? I can't do six but Jim has been terrible so far so you know I really want to win I want to get all of them I mean there's still a chance did you say five? Mm-hmm I'll go six Oh there it is there's the champ can I hear seven Jim? Nope Okay a couple of these are going to be guesses Right go on then big boy I think he might have played for Arsenal Oh I actually just thought of another one Come on Man City Real Madrid Yep Spurs That's four right? Yep He went to Palace, didn't he? He did go to Palace. That's five. So I've got one more to get. Do you know what? I actually had...

13:40Well, anyway, one of the other clubs... Now, I'm trying to think... Here we go. Here we go. It was Wenger, obviously, and I'm pretty sure, given Adebayor's heritage, that he would have come from a French club. Well, okay. That's my feeling. That's an interesting thought. Is it a correct conviction, though? This is a massive stab in the dark. It might just be somewhere in the back of the subconscious. Go on, then. what you got I'm between two what you got can I tell you the two in between no sure you can of course you can't no you can say out loud and then just choose one yeah fair enough it'd be funny if it's the wrong one he's not going to say I pick these two teams your face might give something away fair enough I'll just say one no no no go on tell you two I'll just say one Monaco he's got the point he's got the point I forgot Real Madrid he played for Mets as well yeah played for Mets as well So, Istan, Basak, Shahir.

14:35I knew he'd played for a couple of Turkish clubs, but outside the big ones, it's really difficult to remember them. Well, the club that I knew he finished his career on, because I'm pretty sure he played up front with Roque Santa Cruz, was Olympia in Paraguay. Fuck, how'd you get that? Because I remember him playing up front with Roque Santa Cruz, I remember, because it was a very strange move. So, he played for Monaco and Mets. Did he sign from Monaco to Arsenal? He did, yeah. So, Mets, Monaco, Arsenal. Okay, right, fine. Yeah, Real Madrid was the obvious one I forgot that I should have had. I don't think he had a great time there, did he?

14:59oh so you had Mets, Monaco, Arsenal Spurs and Palace you had yes no not Mets I had Palace, Monaco Arsenal, Spurs and Man City oh Man City of course yeah well Adebayo's North London derby goal against Tottenham won the 2007-8 goal of the season is that why he ran the leg for the pitch no that was the celebration for Man City it was a lovely touch and volley who was it for sorry for Arsenal oh sorry okay against Spurs he ran the leg for the pitch for City when he scored he went all the way down to the Arsenal fans didn't he he did he finished his very mature man he finished his career well as mature as the supporters yeah he's getting Dr.

15:35Buse all game I think it's fair enough I just think there was a lot of maturity on display that's what I'm saying as there often is in football stadiums he finished his career with Togolese Club but there's no record that he ever made an appearance for them right so up yours purists yeah round five Jim this is to stop the whitewash you can do this a very fiery man another controversial one it is how many clubs? 10 clubs another 10? 10 clubs bloody hell okay Paolo of Canio Paolo de Canio Paolo de Canio played for 10 clubs? he did I wouldn't lie to you but would I lie to you Jim? now there's an interesting element that's been introduced to the game yeah no wonder I won yeah so Jim I mean you'll have There are ones you're going to know.

16:28Yeah, there are. There are guessable ones in here as well. There are three I know. Yeah, okay. I have a very strong feeling that Luke will know more than three. Not a lot more. Yeah. But, you know, ten clubs in there. You remember... I shouldn't give clues. Yeah, don't give clues. No. This is a tough one, this. Paolo Di Canio. Ten clubs. Do my usual tactic. get the actual number and I've got one as a guess oh you've got a little guess have you so Jim well I'm only confident on three how about let's say four just to keep it interesting that's how many I had Luke Moore I'm not letting you do four I can do four so I'll go five alright Jim do you fancy six nope okay Luke Paulo Di Canio for the five niller which I'm desperate for on behalf of the nation and it's on your own terms as well this is what you wanted yeah okay so I believe he may at some point have played for Lazio I think it's Nazi how it's pronounced yeah it was yeah a match made in heaven a purgatory a match made in purgatory yeah he definitely played for Napoli and he definitely played for West Ham and he definitely played for Sheffield Wednesday that's your four yeah the fifth I'm basically now resorting to just naming a random big Italian club because I presume he played for other Italian clubs and he was a good player Di Canio yeah like he was he was I'm pretty sure his goal of the season was that jumping volley for West Ham yes which was amazing yeah I mean you've got West Ham so I'll give you that yeah it was West Ham against Wimbledon yeah yeah brilliant yeah really good I don't know why he's giving you that are you giving him a point for that no no no I was saying that he's already got West Ham and he's got the goal so you know I didn't give him the year we should have done a bonus point shouldn't we if we could have named the goal yeah yeah alright I've written down this one but I don't know which one to go for I love it Jim This is why he's screwing Because he wants the wide watch Yeah I really want it This is a close up Into it What are you going to say?

18:33Milan It's a wide watch Did he play for Juve as well? He did play for Juve Oh so I'd then play for it Yeah I'm surprised I thought you might go for that The other English side he played for Was Charton Athletic Oh later on Which I'd forgotten But I'm surprised That neither of you went for Celtic Of course as well yeah That's when he first came over to the shores. Yeah, now I've forgotten that. Yeah, started at Lazio. Tanana on loan. Then Juventus, Napoli, Milan, Celtic, Sheffield Wednesday, West Ham, Chant Athletic, and finished at Cisco Roma. That song's the song, song, song, song. Yeah, don't ask me what the kits are like.

19:10But that's where he finished. And of course, that goal, as you mentioned, against Wimbledon, won the 1999-2000 Goal of the Season Award. What a victory. The nation have got the whitewash they wanted. For the Luke Nation. This is awful. I'm doing it for you guys. I'm having a mental health day now. For the rest of the day. Did Jim Campbell take a bung? The investigations will begin. I would take a bung. Yeah, actually, Jim, I want to make that very clear. Let's come to that. That's what I'm trying to do to help preserve some pride for you. Put your screen back on again. Yeah. The mind game screen.

19:42Didn't really work. I'm going to hold that up to the camera. There we go. Jim unveiled this to me as we were about to start. Yeah. Do you know what the problem is? he looked at it too long himself. Yeah. It was me that wrote it and put it in my own head. It came from my head and went back into it. Ah, Luke. There we go. It fell for me. It fell for me. You're as pleased as Punch and do you know what, pal? You should be. It was a good win. After that victory. It was a good win. Very comprehensive. Were you frightened by the form, are you, Marcus? I'm terrified. Yeah. But you know me, I like a challenge.

20:12See you next week then, I guess. Let's hope so. Luke, a song to take us into Friday as they open the gate to the weekend. The keys are in the lock. It's open. It's for you to enjoy. Luke Moore, what are they going to be listening to? Well, I was going to go for We Are The Champions by Queen, but I hate Queen. Yes, maybe a cover version of it. I was going to go The Winner Takes It All, but I've been doing that for weeks. So probably don't stop the party by Pitbull. No, you're talking about it. Don't stop the party by Pitbull, Jim, it's got to be done. Is Jim invited to the party? That feels very can-can, actually.

20:39A little sympathy vote for Jim to the party. I'm Jim. I'm Freddie Flintoff, and I'm consoling, I think is it Brett Lee at the end of one of the Ashes tests while everyone else is celebrating that's what I'm doing I thought you were going to say you're a German player consoling one of the Brazilians after the 2014 World Cup semi-final well because they scored didn't they yeah they got a one they got a goal yeah well England only won what 2-1 was it no I just won 5-0 yeah okay well done you and well done Jim for participating you know you get your I tried hard stuff fuck off everyone Jim just wants us to be open listeners included he's checked out of this show about five minutes ago oh well thank you for a discord loser yeah fuck it that was a euphemism discourse losers you can fuck off as well end of the show by Jim saying fuck listeners you can fuck off you losers yeah much like the original clan Campbell you have been taken over by a much bigger and greater force what?

21:27that's the other way around wasn't it? yeah very much so who was the clan that Campbell's the McDonald's the McDonald's that's it oh okay yeah fuck off spell a clan as well yeah yeah so it's definitely an independent clan isn't it yeah okay thanks for listening to the football rabble part of the ACARS creator network Doesn't know what he's talking about, but must get the last word. Yeah, exactly. Will it kill you to not have the last word? No, no, no. I just, you know. Sounds like it would. It sounds like the 1707 Act of Parliamentary Union didn't happen, according to Jim Campbell. Oh, I see. The rest of the Campbells.

21:58Vish, Jim, Pete, and I will be back on Monday to react to all the weekend. We might not. That's the prize. If you win on Friday, you get Monday off. Make sure you're following us on socials, at FootballAvolent, subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever. you get your podcast. Commiserations to Jim and well done to Luke Moore and well done to everybody though because it's Friday, it's the weekend, the party will not stop until very late son.

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