My Biddy Aunt: Goalkeepers

0:00Previously on MyBeddyArt.

0:03Pete Donaldson: Angel Di Maria. I'll go four. I'm going to go for five. Yes! Alright, I'll go six. Controversial. Real Madrid. Incorrect. I'm joking. Yeah, Real Madrid 2010 to 2014. That's one down. Five to go. Manchester United. Correct. One season there. Thought he'd do better. He did not. Rosario Central. Oh! Lovely to hear them named. Marcus. What a win. Bloody hell. Well, I nearly bollocks that.

0:37It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain,

0:39Pete Donaldson: but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Oh, hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's my video! I'm Marcus Smellar. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson. Still off his head on asthma meds. Woo!

1:06Pete Donaldson: Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another edition of My Biddy Aunt. It's an Easter, My Biddy Aunt. And the Easter cup is on the line, everybody. The Easter egg cup. Yeah. If you want, mate. If you want, yeah. Okay. Nice. How about that? We've got a box of black magic in our house. Ooh. A box of it. Yeah, because people get very excited about Easter. And my mother-in-law, who doesn't get mentioned on the show very often, that she loves black magic and it's very hard to find these days because it's bad. Bad stuff. I haven't had... I'm right in remembering it by the name. It's dark chocolate. It must be dark chocolate, wasn't it?

1:41Pete Donaldson: I haven't had that for years. Yeah, and I'm not going to have any because it's... You're not going to tell us how you got hold of it? Went back to the 80s. Okay, yes, back to the 80s, Peter. Okay, there's a code word if I've known it. well look the Easter egg cup is on offer today Jim versus Pete I'm reffing this I'm going to call it a grudge match of my biddy art if you don't know the rules they are very very simple each round I'll name a footballer and one of these fine gentlemen will bid how many take that out of your mouth one of these fine gentlemen he told me to reposition the microphone so he could see the logo fine get the badge in he's getting the badge in on me Here we go.

2:28Whoa!

2:30Pete Donaldson: I'm on the Timber, guys. Okay. It's a great drug. Jim, your randoms drugs test may or may not help you later. So one of you will bid how many of that player's clubs you can name. Your opponent then can raise the bid or challenge you to name them. Only professional clubs count, and the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team. If you fail to meet your bid, you die. You are dead, gentlemen. that your opponent honourable end-time scores. Yes. We've got a bit of a Squid Game spin on it today. I forgot to mention that to you. First of three points wins. Would you like to guess what today's theme is, Peter?

3:08Pete Donaldson: Members of the 1993 Samurai Blues. If it was, I think you'd be quids in. I wouldn't. It isn't. Kazoo was probably featuring. There you go. You've named Abel. Do you want to guess of today's theme? It's quite a simple one. Is it going to be FA Cup themed? It's not FA Cup themed. It's based on People who have fallen foul of an egg at some point in their careers. Yeah, had the production staff have thought of it more. Clearly, they would have probably gone for that. They haven't. They've quite simply gone for goalkeepers today. Interesting. Yeah. They could probably roll away a stone, couldn't they?

3:38Pete Donaldson: Probably. They're big, tall. I think the first guy probably could. Right. Are you ready for your first player? Let's have the first player. Okay. Round one, everybody. This man played for 10 clubs. Fucking hell. A monster of a man. He has, along with Chris Eubank The biggest hands that I have ever shaken It is David James Dave Jim for short David James for full Pete Donaldson, you are up first I'd love you to make a beat But you've got time to think We're all very familiar with the career of David James Can you pick out the bones of it? An England goalkeeper, of course He took a penalty against me once Did he really?

4:21Pete Donaldson: How about that So Peter I am now Going to push you For an opening bid So ten clubs Can I have An opening bid For you Pete Donaldson I'm afraid you can have four Marcus You can have four Okay Jim This could be mind games From Peter You could take a leaf Out of Vicious Book And go I don't care how many clubs You go for I'm going to name And then much higher Or you can go Just one higher And then the bid is open To Peter of course Jim Peter Are you definitely bidding four clubs? Yeah, four clubs. I know that Jim's covering his answers like I can see with all of your talks. Yeah, we don't have a partition.

4:59Pete Donaldson: We don't have the normal partition there. Yeah, indeed, yeah. I don't want you to accidentally say. I trust you, but you know. I'm going to go for five. You're going to go for five? I think it's harder than you think because he had tax problems. Okay. Whether that comes into it or not is immaterial, perhaps. So, Jim, that's your bid of five? Yes. Peter, you've had a little bit more time to think. I'm not going to have more than five. So let's end. Have your five, please, Jim. Okay, Jim. Five clubs that David James played for. Yeah, I can. Please. So he played for Man City. Up front. As a goalkeeper, we need to say.

5:33Pete Donaldson: I know he was a striker there at times, but mainly as a goalkeeper. He also played for Liverpool. Played for Aston Villa. Played for Portsmouth, didn't they? I was kind of second-guessing myself on that one. Yep, so there's four. You need to get one more to take the round. I'm sure there are some more obvious ones, but they have gone out of my mind. I might mess this up here but I think it might even be that he was a manager there but did he play for Corolla Blasters late on in his career? He did play for Corolla Blasters Very well played I don't know why that sticks in my head It's such a great name isn't it?

6:07Pete Donaldson: Why mention West Ham or Watford? West Ham I wasn't sure about I was like have I got the have I got the Clarence Blue of Villa mixed up with West Ham and I thought I wanted to clear of that And you're about to throw Burnley in there as well by accident Well, he went from... So he started at Watford, his career, then Liverpool, West Ham. He was in Liverpool for a long time, then Aston Villa, and from Villa went to West Ham. So I can understand you thought, you know what, I'll go for the Indian side, just to be sure. So West Ham, Manchester City, Portsmouth, Bristol City, Bournemouth. Okay. And he did have a brief stint in Iceland with IBV.

6:42Pete Donaldson: I would have been very impressed. I remember he went to Iceland, couldn't remember the club for the life of me. and then finished at Kerala Blasters perhaps for a payday as Pete alluded to how many times well a lot of footballers is Prowler was down there for a bit wasn't he stuck around for a while I'm still in contention for it in my mind in my mind I stress so that's 1-0 to Jim David James there opening my biddy aunt this time around so Jim you're off the mark David Jim let's call him David Jim you must be pleased with you I've 1-0 up Jim are you going to are you going to just go for the defence of this lead and see how I want to One nil.

7:18Pete Donaldson: A lot of that depends on what name you say next, Marcus. True, it does. Because if I may say, Jim, I mean, this was partly because of my tactics and yours, and you nearly won it last week. Ultimately, you didn't actually have a bid. So this is your first, that's your first time of naming clubs. Right. I was the one who was doing all the bidding last week. Interesting. Which at times worked, and at times didn't work for me. Biddy bidi. So you're in there. But Peter, I think people want to hear you have a... Biddy bidi. At some point. Is this going to be the round to do it? Round two. I think this is a trickier one.

7:49Pete Donaldson: It is a tricky one. There's no doubt about that. Jim, you're up first. Six clubs. How many of Wayne Hennessy's six clubs can you mention? Oh, wow. The block too thick to be a Nazi. Him of World War II ignorance, Wayne Hennessy. Oh, wow. I have to say, this is one of those ones where I was like, oof. Oh, yeah. Question marks on this bit of paper already. It's not, again, this is, when I say these, I'm saying it to both of you because you can both hear me. It's not as outrageously difficult looking at the clubs as you may think. It's easy when they're in front of you, but what I'm saying is there's no IBVs and Kerala Blasters in there.

8:39Pete Donaldson: How many teams are there? Six teams. Wayne Hennessy. And I get to bid first, right? Yes, Jim Campbell. And I know you're a big fan of conversation and Hennessy. Anschlutes. Well, careful. Within reason. I mean, that is a bit of a clue. You both remember that unfortunate incident. If you can remember the manager who commented on that, that may well unlock a certain club there. I'm going to be very conservative and I'm going to go with two. Pete Donaldson, can you up the bid? Peter, can I hear a... Biddy, biddy. of three I think I can do four wow okay okay remember I know but if I say three and Jim do I think Jim can do four so look so I'm show me workings I can't help you with tactics I'm gonna go with three okay what's that you just talked him out of bidding four I just said I can't help you with tactics this is my tactic I've decided I didn't need Marcus's help alright okay so Jim have you got four Jim you're not going four He can only do a pathetic three.

9:45Pete Donaldson: Why don't you go for four? Can I hear four, Jim? No. Pete Donaldson. Three clubs for Wayne Hennessy. Fire away. Crystal Palace. So that was the one I think we all got. We'll remember that. It was Max's picture, wasn't it? Someone took a picture. Someone took the picture. It was like a party. Yes, that's right. That's where it's at. Wolves. Well played. And one more I'm kind of copying two Which comprised my four Did he do a stalk? Did you do Burnley? It was Burnley Well that wouldn't have had me four anyway Pissing piss So Wolves and Palace Presumably you had those two Jim No I wasn't sure about Wolves I was going to guess at either Cardiff or Swansea It didn't play for either So yeah Your house is a Potemkin village of knowledge.

10:43Yeah, it is.

10:44Pete Donaldson: I'm facing off against. Good to know. Well, there you go. So started at Wolves. Went on loan at Stockport County. I don't think many would have got that. Also went on loan at Yeovil Town. Crystal Palace, you both heard. Burnley and Nottingham Forest. What a horrible round. Yes, I think that was a tricky one. So unlucky Peter. So close there. So close. He did go on loan to Bristol City in 2006, but never made a competitive appearance for them. Everyone in every round of My Biddy Aunt ever has had some association with Bristol City, whether they play for them or not.

11:26Peter, you need this.

11:28Pete Donaldson: It's back to you. It's 2-0 at the gym, isn't it? Now, you won't need me to tell you there are guessable ones here. Round three, a titan of English football in goal at many, many, many international caps for the three Lions. Ten clubs, Joe Hart. There we go. Scribbling away. Scribble, scribble, my beauties. Joe Hart was England number one for so very, very long. A fine pundit at the moment. He's on all the broadcasting networks. And it's always good to see him. He's still a fine figure of a man. still got that beautiful jawline, that fabulous torso that leapt around the goal for so many years. What are you doing?

12:13Pete Donaldson: I'm stalling for you! We didn't cut it down on the head there. What's wrong with you? You're distracting me, talking about torsos. You know what I'm like. Think of a man's trunk and I'm gone for hours. Sorry for trying to help you. Right, remember your tactics. Remember your tactics. Peter, let's have a biddy biddy. How many could you know? I'm going to go for six. Six? Six from ten. I think that's a respectable bid. Jim Campbell. I don't think I can go seven. Ooh. Okay. So. All right. I'm going to give you that one, PT. Are you sure, Jim? Yeah. You're absolutely positive? Mm-hmm. Okay. Can't find a seventh in there.

12:54Pete Donaldson: I can't. I can't. Oh, dear. I love playing Chris Tarrant. I was thinking more David Dickinson, which is interesting, isn't it? All right. I want six clobbs. That's six clob, not five years. Right. Okay, six clubs of Joe Hart's. Peter, fire away. Obviously Shrewsbury, because he's back there doing bits. Shrewsbury Town, I'll give you that. I remember him fucking up in one of the European competitions for Spurs, briefly. Yes. Celtic, obviously. I believe he ended his career there. Obviously, yes. Man City, he won the league. I was about to say, you've taken a long time to mention that. Kerala Blasters.

13:31The Kerala Blasters of England.

13:33Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I assume that's not one of your answers. I really wanted to be harsh there Torino well played and and you've got one more to get the round should I have gone in so strong West Ham very good well I forgot about Celtic there yeah probably a Celtic so a starter at Shrewsbury Town as you mentioned moved on to Manchester City did great things there for many many years had a lone spirit at Trammill Rovers wouldn't have suspected too many to get that did he do Villa for a bit no he didn't do Villa you're getting your Clarence and Blues mixed up again what happens Blackpool on loan again. Birmingham City on loan.

14:08Pete Donaldson: Perhaps maybe one or two might have remembered that or aware of that. But then obviously after Manchester City, these loan spells, went to Torino, then West Ham, then Burnley. Yeah. And then Spurs and then Celtic. He took Burnley for a while, wasn't he? Cover for Tom Heaton for a bit. Of course. And then Tom Heaton got his place back in the beautiful south. Burnley's in the beautiful north. But fine. So 2-1, Pete's back. Big point for Peter. Give me my egg cup. Oh, he's in. I'm hungry and I want to put my yolks in there. He's still fighting for this egg cup. I am. He is. Right. Jim's turn. You know this man very, very well.

14:45Pete Donaldson: You've seen him on your TV screens for many, many years now. This is the fourth round of My Biddy Aunt. We are going to... Do it! Eight clubs. Jim Campbell. Shea Given. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Eight clubs. Uh. Uh. I'm sorry. you can make noises if you want eight clubs for Shea Given a bit like Joe Hart a fine pundit a fine goalkeeper he pundit he turns up he turns up alright eats his Ross dinners he does so eight clubs for Shea Given he's been around English football for many many years a fine goalkeeper this is a former Newcastle player so I have to figure that Pete probably got some kind of super knowledge there.

15:33Pete Donaldson: A little bit of kind of, yeah, as you say, insider knowledge. So, I'm taking my time on this. I am going to have to push you, Jim Campbell. Yeah, you are going to push me. Another one. Oh, don't show you're working, Peter. Or is that a mind game? Is that a mind game? Is that a mind game, Jim Campbell? You win this round, Jim, you win the egg card. I'm going to, I'm going to bid at five. I think that's a very good bid. Five. Pete Donaldson, can you bid six for Shea Given or R or are you going to let Jim Campbell name his clubs and hope that he gets one wrong? I was going to showboat with seven.

16:13But I certainly don't think Jim's got seven.

16:16Pete Donaldson: Right, what are you going to say? How many has he got? Eight clubs in total. Jim has bid five. Yeah. Right, can I hear? I think I've got seven. Fuck it, I'll do seven. Go out on your sword and all that. Okay. You've got to remember. I'm remembering everything. Pure Newcastle United. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Peter, it's your bid. I'm asking to get confirmation. What is your bid? It's seven. It's going seven. It's going seven. I mean, that's big. It is big. Let's see if he's got the stones to back it up. This is my... This is... This is your James Beattie. If I can't get this right. This could be your James Beattie right here.

16:51Pete Donaldson: All right. Seven clubs that Shea Given played for. I think Jim's looking quite confident here. I'm just enjoying the whole... The bluster. The whole thing. The whole thing. the whole afternoon. Right, Pete Donaldson. I'm not even going to start with the obvious ones. Okay. Far away. Don't get this wrong, you absolute muppet. Right, seven clubs. Middlesbrough. Well played. Sunderland. Well played, on loan, yeah. Newcastle United. Good start, this. He's going to get these. He's underway. Four more. Black Bunny started at. Well done. Man City. that's it you need two more he did Villa he did can you take this to a competitive fifth round

17:43I think he went on to Swindon oh

17:48Pete Donaldson: that's really good Pete that's really good that is top draw Donaldson before alcohol Newcastle United knowledge pre-18 year olds would you like to have a go I think you could get the 8th one can you have a stab in the dark? Jim did you have another club? So I had a little bit of a guess at Wolves didn't play for Wolves for some reason I thought you went to Celtic or something but I can't tell you that was the previous guy Stoke City oh no I had Stoke down I just lost track of who who is there I don't know Stoke that was forced alcohol tell you what everybody I'll tell you something I didn't know he'd played for Sun I didn't know he'd done a tour of the North East effectively well he did Sunderland on Lawn when he was still at Blackburn I think so oddly so when I get the clues obviously I have a quick little go myself and I think I had about four or five I'll be honest with you I had some oddly I don't know why I had that obviously it's always look I appreciate it when you're chucking your castle player it's not me who did it it's foot on the scales but you need a bigger foot than that some of those were tough though fish benefits from Man United a lot yes he's a fine player I'm not taking anything away from him so don't apologise people who support settled squads is actually quite a rich thing.

19:01You don't need to apologise, Peter.

19:02Pete Donaldson: That was very, very impressive, I think. And look, it takes it to the final round. You were 2-0 down, and you've pulled it back to two each. It's incredible. And you're on point as well. You are to serve. I think... I'm suspecting a few furrowed brails and groans from this player's name. But as a man you know... Who played in goal at the Jungle World Cup in that advert? Oh. Yeah, no idea. Cocoa Pops. Remember the Cock-a-Bops said that? I do. The Honey Monster or something. Oh, Honey Monster, yeah. Kevin Keegan on Honey Monster did do a... Round five. It's the Honey Monster. No, it isn't the Honey Monster.

19:39Pete Donaldson: Round five, everybody. For the Easter egg up on my vidiyan. It's been a great game, gentlemen. You've been credit to yourselves. I think we can all agree. Eight clubs. Pete is first. Jack Butland. There's the faces.

19:59I barely even remember his fucking name.

20:01Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Play for England, man. All right, fine. Can I put that down? Oh, dear. Jack Butland is the player who will decide ultimately who the Egg Cup will go to. Jim's got good pedigree in the My Biddy Aunt Cups. I remember when we played a round of My Biddy Aunt in the home dressing room at Wembley Stadium him ahead of the FA Cup final, and Jim won it. He beat me. He won the Wembley Cup. Can he add the Easter Egg Cup to his cup shelf? Or will Pete Donaldson pull something out of the bag? Can I hear anything? Is this going to be... Two. Two for Jack Butland. Two for Jack Butland. Jim Campbell. Oh, God.

20:51Pete Donaldson: You grimacing git. Can I hear three for Jack Butland? Peter, you need to cover your paper I'm not looking at his paper I know you weren't Jim it is not worth doing Jim I trusted you there but I just didn't want you to have that kind of temptation that was all it was I can see both of their eyes if you're only listening to this the temptation will be seen on the YouTube yeah so a bit of two is what Pete has offered Jim Campbell could you go three or do you want Pete to name his two you were in a similar position last week when you were unlucky. Basically, I'm really blank on Jack Butland. Jim, I can't express how much deep sympathy I have for you right now.

21:37Pete Donaldson: And Jack Butland. I know exactly what you're feeling. A forgotten man. And I know what you're going through here. Do I hand the gun to Pete? Or do I put it in my own mouth? That is what... That is what this one feels like. But I'll tell you something, right? I've just changed one of my two, if that helps. I'm telling you. Don't give your techniques away. I'll tell you now, ladies and gentlemen, right? It's the Easter weekend. Pete's, you know... Rip to the tits on Tim Trimbo. It's exactly how I was going to put it. Whatever this specialist gave me. Jim's got Stella Artois on the mind. It's the Easter weekend.

22:11Pete Donaldson: It's like I'm under. We've gone down to the last frame and the last black. This is what it all comes down to. Do you up the bid to three or do you want Peter... Plop that snooker ball into your sock and whack yourself around the forehead. Come on, do you know what? I'm going to see what Pete's medication's got. I'm going to say you're going to call for the two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, how about that, everybody? Pete Donaldson, before you name these two clubs, you win this and it is your first victory in my bitty arms. There is, the history could be made today. So, Jack Butland of his eight clubs, can you name just two and win the hearts and minds of the British public and the Easter Egg Cup?

22:51Pete Donaldson: Fire away Right he's scrubbing That one of his answers This is I suspect Jim Campbell May have got his tactics right But who knows Peter It's a Stoke City man So you're going Stoke City Absolutely right Played there for about Seven years Long time Here we go This is what it's all about Who is going to win The Easter Egg Cup Pete Donaldson

23:17Pete Donaldson: Come on Say a bloody club Man City? Did he play for Manchester City? Jim Carver He did not He played for Man City I had Stoke I had Stoke Rangers Watford Question mark He did do Ranges didn't he He's currently at Rangers Oh Peter Did he play for Blackburn Or Birmingham He played for Birmingham City Oh Peter So near And yet so far started at Birmingham City went to Cheltenham City on loan nobody's getting that Stoke City you mentioned Barnsley on loan Leeds United on loan Derby County on loan Crystal Palace they had a little tingle on that and obviously is currently that Glasgow Rangers he needs to do some more Nazi salutes I'd remember him better I think yeah it is his fault advice to everyone yeah he signed for Manchester United but never made an appearance for them but I don't think that would have been a problem yeah oh Pete you were a kick away there that is that's bad as my dad used to say that's bad crack son I've never loved you but you know what though it wasn't because it was great entertainment look I only need one round in a game to make myself feel that you know you always have those kind of images of yourself and you sort of go well look at least I had the show given round yes exactly I was in a castle player let's make it very clear no but that's something that we will feast upon for many a my biddy art to come but Jim you were on the right side of the result today.

24:49Pete Donaldson: One has to say you got your tactics just about spot on at the end. Yeah, it was tight. It wasn't pretty. I'd like to thank Kerala Blasters. But, you know, a win's a win and I've needed a win. You have needed a win. You've got one. Pete, you're so close. But look. I'm like enhancement talent. I'm not like a jobber. I just help the other guys look better. Yeah, I think that I do an important job. You do a very important job. It was a fine round. A great mid-carder. But to quote the man of the season it is finished thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network we'll be back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and if you want to suggest a theme and some players for my buddy aunt get in touch with us on Instagram X in the comments on YouTube or email us show at footballramble.com we'd love to hear from you well done Jim Campbell thank you commiserations Pete Donaldson but well done on a fine performance and well done to you all for listening to this jamboree we will be back on Easter Monday to review the FA Cups weekend action.

25:48Pete Donaldson: See you then, and happy Friday! Good Friday.

25:57Roll away your stone, I'll roll away mine.

26:04Pete Donaldson: Oh, unlucky Pete. That was good, I enjoyed that. The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.