My Biddy Aunt: January Transfers

0:28It's Chris Kamara It's actually very cruel because I'm not actually playing. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's my Biddy Ants. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm David Cartlidge. Biddy Biddy. Biddy Biddy.

0:55David, help me out. I mean could you see an ailing Manchester United signing Chris Kamara prime Chris Kamara he's still got abs he's still got it he's still got it never lost it absolutely we did establish that Ron Atkinson came to see him while he was Man United manager so you were nearly right in some ways if you've been very kind absolutely fine we are back with my biddy ant and today is a very special occasion because it is David Cartlidge's debut the nerves the nerves you excited is it going to be Rooney for Manning Eita debut or is it going to be Woodgate for Real Madrid debut let's see who knows it's nervous you're an unknown quantity yeah exactly but you're also a professional football journalist so it's not looking great for Rasa you've been doing this for 17 years Jim what does that make you the people of the Gimalayas need a big performance for me today what's David's collective sort of noun for the country effectively we probably should have thought of this before we started but art cart lidge cart lidge it's not quite yeah is there a is there a country that starts with art or cart I don't think there is we'll figure it out we'll get back to you people will write them in the comments I've got we can't have the belt because I think Luke has the belt at this moment in time he doesn't want us touching it or even looking at it why has Luke got the belt lineal champion so he so he's not here to defend himself or defend the belt but what I do have is a slice of my Christmas cake that I made I thought it was a Jack of the Toilet I thought it was going to be brie look, I've got loads of brie left in the fridge but I do have a lot of my Christmas cake you've got no patty left and I'm trying to get rid of this muck but it's okay, it's very boozy it will give you a hangover so that's what's up for grabs so you're playing for a slice of my very own homemade merry berry recipe Christmas cake.

2:58So enjoy yourselves. If you don't know the rules, they're really simple. Each round, I'll be naming a footballer. One of you will bid on how many of their clubs you can name. Your opponent can then raise the bid or challenge you to list them. Only professional clubs count, and the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team. If you fail to meet your bid, the opponent will score. First of three points wins. And before I reveal today's topics, if you ever want to suggest a theme and players for my biddy and do get in touch at Football Ramble on socials or short at footballramble.com on email.

3:28You can put it in the comments as well on YouTube. It means less admin for me. And goodness knows I'm disorganized at the best of times. So please do get in touch. Today's theme is January signings. January signings. How extremely obvious and easy to prepare for. Wish I'd thought of it. because David is a fresh spring chicken in this Torrance of Kings. Fresh meat. Ready for the slaughter. We are going to be starting with you today, if that's all right. So, for my bitty aunt, bitty bitty, how many of Gary Cahill's seven clubs can you name, David Cartlidge? Seven clubs, Gary Cahill, he was at one point a January signing.

4:14I've got two. Two. Yeah. Good. It's the northeast way on this tournament, anyways. Yeah, I mean, I've definitely got two. Right. Sounds like you could push the boat out. Yeah, I am going to go for three. I'm going to stall a bit, though, because there's definitely an obvious one that I'm missing. And I just, it's on the tip of my brain. A lot of matches under that man's belt. Yeah. A lot of matches. Yeah. Gary Cahill. Hmm. Retired in 2022. 18 year long career. 450 league appearances. Okay. So I'm going to go for three. Right. Okay. So David, any, any advances on three? I've got two. Yeah. I've got two.

5:02You keep saying that's not going to win anything. Yeah, exactly. I've got two as well. On this mantelistum. Right. Okay. Yeah. So Bolton Wanderers, obviously. 2008 to 2012. And of course he played for Chelsea. 2012 to 2019 Now This should be easier This round I know it should There's going to be A lot of people It feels like There's a glare In the obvious one Yeah so do I And it's I don't know whether It was post Chelsea Or pre Chelsea I just There's so many players Where they end up As a sort of Kind of Late career Kind of Pre graveyard Almost like a Like a hospice Yes Like a sort of End of career care Yeah And there's a few of those floating around my brain.

5:48But I'm not confident about any of them. I'm going to go for West Ham. Did he play for West Ham very briefly? It's an absolutely honking start. It is a honking start. Neither of you deserve my cake. No, we don't. Let's go with David. Have you got any sort of ones that you would pull out of your bum just for the sake of saying something? There's two clubs I'm thinking of. I'll have a guess. yeah go on Villa he did play for Villa of course he did he started there 2004-2008 there we go so you should did he also go back there after Chelsea no he didn't so he started Aston Villa then he went to Burnley on loan Sheffield United 2007 on loan bottom one is Chelsea Crystal Palace right Palace are completely forgot where did he end his career though Bournemouth Bournemouth AFC Bournemouth I was thinking Villa I was thinking Villa and Stoke yeah yeah Stoke were in my mind as well but it felt too felt too obvious to be right does that make sense I completely agree if you're going to extend your career yeah it's probably the place to go but yeah Gary Gale moved from Butler Monaster to Chelsea in January 2012 for a fee of 7 million he nearly apparently joined Arsenal a year prior to moving to Chelsea but the clubs were unable to agree on a transfer fee alright it's it's 1-0 to you David because Jim threw it all away I did alright round number two starting with you, Jim.

7:16Eight clubs. Let's have your bid. It's Christopher Samba. Christopher Samba? Christopher Samba.

7:27Oh, yeah. There's a lot of non-British clubs, which is good. I think I've got such a rogue one for one of the clubs. Are you taking it down to the sewer? You're not getting this. Christopher Samba Christopher Samba I'm confident with one on Christopher Samba Christopher Samba fucking hell

7:55I'm going to go very low I'm going to go two and as you know one of them is going to be a guest it's a tricky competition we're starting 2026 right guys I think it's better you can start with two yeah alright are you going to go three DC I'm going to go two because I'm confident you'll only get one oh hang on so you've gone for two yeah you want him to do his two because you don't trust him to do the two he thinks I'll mess it up and he's probably right he's only getting one fucking mind games in 2026 I like this new ideas being brought to the shore it's the worst game of poker ever isn't it we're going back to the long throws right let's be having you let's have your two then Jim he played for Blackburn Rovers he did That was not a dream That's the one that I am confident on Five years, 2007, 2012 So, I feel Hmm There's a London club in there I'm just a Chuck QPR out there He did play 2013 Ha!

8:58Ha ha ha ha Now Luke will be listening at home just sad Sad at what the game has become Yeah Yeah, this is like a proper, like, this is a non-league picture in the first round of the FA Cup. TC, what was your kind of absolute, absolutely naughty one? This has really put me on the spot, so I've got this wrong. Right. I've proper pepped this in a Champions League final and really overthought this. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go. Would you have had the two that Jim had? Yeah. Right. Yeah. Okay. Be bolder. Yeah, who was your third that you might have had? Who's your rogue one? Right. No, I've got... Wait, I'm going to go for the rogue one first that I initially thought of.

9:40Yes, okay. Anzi Makalaka. He did twice. Oh, nice. He played twice. 2012 to 2013, 2013 to 2014. Have you got anything more on the tank? Yeah. Got them. Stork. No, he didn't play Stork. So let's have his team. So he started in Sedan in France, or maybe Sedan, I don't know. 2003 to 2004. Hurt of Berlin, he went to. Blackburn Rovers, Angie Makakala. Queen's Park Rangers Dynamo Moscow Panathinaikos he played for and for one solitude Aston Villa right 2017 to 2018 it was QPR who signed a Christmas Samba for a club record 12.5 million on transfer deadline day in 2013 he was apparently on higher money than all of the other players when asked about Samba's wages Harry Redknapp told the fans to get over it so there we go

10:35that's one all I believe it is yeah it's Jim Jim one David one and how are you feeling it's gone so far David yeah yeah could be better it could be worse you know you need me bolder I think right starting off with you David ten clubs it's a good one Alexis Sanchez oh Alexis Sanchez I like a bit of blank space yeah in the show a bit of dead air a bit of dead air a bit of maybe we should put some sort of ambient music in this bit just really really make it a confusing listen as you sort of nod off some beautiful kind of like bitty bitty bitty bitty it's quite calming it's like a mantra this is a long time to be thinking I would argue personally it's longer than usual but I don't mind it because David is the first This is kind of his He's on a YTS contract You've got to put your bid in David You've got to give us a number David give us a number Okay so he's got 10 clubs Yes Okay I'm going to give you 6 Oh that's a That is strong He's gone bold He's gone strong Jim I'm going to give you 8 Fuck off No you're not No you're not I don't know you are I don't know you are either No you're not I'm a doubting Thomas Alright then David can you do 9 No No Alright Jim Give us your eight clubs You mentalist So he of course Played for Arsenal He did play for Arsenal Four years He played for Man United Two years He played for Udinese He did play for Udinese Barcelona Come on That's three years Apparently you did David's shaking his You can't shake your fingers No, no, no I was only I was only a Spanish football journalist Wow Right Edit that out Jesus Christ Right Marseille He did play for Marseille And he played for Inter He played for Inter River Plate Right on One, two, three, four Five, six, seven Right, you got one more And Colo Colo Hey, Jim Thank you very much I know he's an Arsenal player But that is an astonishing performance I thought I was going to win it on the two So I thought you weren't going to get Colo Colo and River Plate So yeah, did you have that in there?

13:00Was it Barcelona one that slipped out your mind. Absolutely. This is fucking green, man. Stop re-eating that. It happens all the time, though. It's the red light syndrome. Massive. I mean, to be fair, like Spanish clubs, a lot of talent over there. Who were the other two? Cobreola. Cobreola in Chile and Sevilla. Yeah, Sevilla. Of course. I got Sevilla. Yes. Yes, in 2018, Alexis Sanchez completely moved to Manchester United from Arsenal. The transfer was famously unveiled with a video of Sanchez playing the piano version of Glory, Glory, Man United because he can't play the piano. And he then wanted to, he asked his agent if he could go back to Arsenal, didn't he?

13:35After like the first training session. Surely you know that that's not how this works by now. You played for, you know, eight clubs by then or whatever it was. He's scored five goals during his spell at Manchester United. So, score update. Jim, you're in the lead, 2-1. Going into the fourth round. Let's get the three, if you can. We're going to start with you, Jim. Seven clubs. a man who it's fair to say knew how to bend his run Jermaine Defoe Jermaine Defoe lovely okay it's a lovely this is a lovely comfortable Christmas pair of socks this one I'm gonna go for five you're gonna go for five okay out of seven that's a pretty strong gambit and it's for the win so you've done very well here if you get these David's scribbling out yeah worryingly which is worryingly I've got five as well alright okay well you can't push the bar for six to defend to stop him winning I'm just going to have to hope he gets one wrong okay but after the Alexis Sanchez I'm not very confident well he played for my club and he's kind of one of my favourite players of all time Sanchez I've had a bit of a lucky one you're like barrel chested men don't you small barrel chested men alright Jim let's see your five okay so Jermaine Defoe played for West Ham.

14:59He did. He played for Spurs twice, I think. Yes, he did. Three times, technically. I'm nearly there then, right? He played for Portsmouth. Yes, on lawn and then permanently in 2008-2009. He played for David Cartlidge's Sunderland, as we know. He did, twice. And I'm pretty sure he played for Charlton at the start of his career as well. Yes, he didn't. He's got it wrong! Jermaine Jermaine More like Yeah Unbelievable Balls Ha Okay So I've got West Ham Yes West Ham Portsmouth Portsmouth Yes you did yeah Spurs Spurs QPR You wouldn't have won Oh no yeah Great Ha Who were the other one then You could have had QPR Right yeah You could have had AFC Bournemouth You could have had Toronto FC and you could have had Rangers.

15:56He played for Rangers, of course, famously. He played for Charlton's Academy before signing for West Ham. That's why you thought that. Did I say Queen's Park Rangers? I did mean Rangers. Did you mean Rangers? Good. In January 2004, Jermaine DeFord signed for Docknam Hotspur from West Ham, but his more notable January move came in 2015 when he returned to the Premier League, joining Sunderland from Toronto FC. He would then go on to become a cult hero at the Stadium Lights, scoring 37 goals in 100 appearances in all competitions. I remember all of that happening, but it's only when you hear it that you're like, oh yeah, I did know that.

16:30I just simply cannot access everything that's in my brain. Well, look, I like that a lot. And I like this a lot. And it's too old. And I just think you guys have raised your game for the promise of cake. The cake is alive. Gary Cahill might not agree. Yeah, Gary Cahill. All right. We're going to start with you, David. Round number five. It's rare that it gets here when it's still competitive. I like this. I like this a lot. this is exactly how the game should go in 2026 round number 5 8 clubs Philippe Coutinho used to cut a hole in his boots his boots? his boots got a Mickey Mouse tattoo not his socks no his boots as well that's a strange one he had a blister and he famously cut a hole in the back like a little cheeky window not just a compede does Philippe Coutinho not know about compede?

17:20no He'd cut a little hole out like a A window in the red light district Peek at my heel What were you going for David? Right Five Going for five Alright David is heading into the final round With five I would say I'm confident I've got like a zinger But again The Alexis Sanchez round is doing me My head's gone after that Yeah yeah I lost it after that See I've got five I'm confident with Right Just going to stall for a bit of time here Right And by saying that I'm hoping you're not going to pull me up on it Jim can I remind you that there is cake on offer There is cake on offer isn't it It will go off at some point This is the longest I've been without eating in ages actually And it's just sitting there It's just sitting there in front of me Wrapped in foil Also looking like a kilo of gear Yeah exactly So there's also that There's also that incentive we'll see when we unwrap it shall we okay I hate that you why couldn't you have just gone for four David yeah five's juicy five's annoying you've got to go six haven't you see I think David's definitely got that five so I think I have to go for six so I'm just going to do that yeah I'm going to go the five I'm confident with first of course he played for Inter he went to Liverpool for about 15 million quid if I remember absolute bargain good business and it was even better business for Liverpool because they then sold into Barcelona for an absolute fortune correct didn't go so well for him there so he was loaned to Bayern Munich he was 2019 to 2020 he also played for Aston Villa this is where it gets tricky we've got three clubs three clubs left imagine those he might not have had the teeth at that time I've got those lovely teeth I've got one of these 100 % So I know that he played for a club in Qatar When everyone was moving to South What are you doing?

19:24But the problem with this is Warming his hands up for that kick I don't know the name of that team I do not know the name of that team And that is very much key in this There are a couple of names in my head And I'm like I'm pretty sure they're Egyptian teams Are we in Egypt now? I'm pretty sure I'm in. I'm pretty sure I'm in. I'm pretty sure I'm in. I'm pretty sure I'm in. Some of them are quite offensive. Knowing that he played in Qatar is useless to me. Yes. So I think I've got a little brain tickle and it's 80 % guess. I feel sick. 20 % did he play for Corinthians? David Garland? David Garland wins.

20:12there you go what the hell was that we need to get you some new winning music David but congratulations yeah well done David debut well played you win the cake oh yes test the purity of this do you drink David I do good yeah I've been feeding that for most of the fantasy now you can drink while you're eating cake exactly no he didn't play for Corinthians he played for Vasco de Gama was that the one you had David you had Espanol Espanol on loan in 2012 and the club we all love to love it's Alder Hale yeah I would not have got that no you would not have got that I was thinking Al Sad Al Ali I was fuming because when you mentioned about the move to Barcelona I know I know I thought he's going to remember he's going to care for Espanyol as well yeah in January 2013 Liverpool signed Philippe Coutinho for a fee of 8.5 million from Inter and five years later in 2018 he completed one of the most expensive signings in club football history as he moved to Barcelona for 146 million.

21:17Incredible. Yeah. For David's name and the people who will be celebrating right now, David Kartalitschstein. Kartalitschstein. Yeah? Does that work? No. No. All right. Let's get out of here. We'll have a think. Let's get out of here. Let's have a think about that. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Aircash Creator Network. We'll be back on Monday to react to all of the weekend's football. Make sure you're following us on socials at FootballRamble. And if you ever want to suggest a theme and some players for MyBittyAnt, get in touch on Instagram X or in the comments in that there YouTube or email us at FootballRamble.com.

21:51We would love to hear from you. David, congratulations on your debut appearance on MyBittyAnt. How do you feel that went? It feels really good. Three points in the bag. No, I just... Yeah, yeah. Let's move on to the next game. Sun Lonev, can't it? Come on, cake as well. This is it, yeah. Coming up here. He's defended from the front. Oh, yeah, yeah. exactly ready for the next game you know bring on Luke Mower how do you pick this one up exactly clip that how are you going to pick this one up Jim I'm just going to Google random players constantly that's what my life has been reduced to have a go at Sky that's the only reason I know about Colo fucking Colo

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