My Biddy Aunt: Legendary left-backs

0:00We got Tam and the producer, he's the best producer, but we don't, you know. I wouldn't authorise a double tap I'd like to hear from the bad lids It's George We don't like George He smells But we gotta do this We're the smelly guy We gotta do maybe the end It's a great movie

0:22Here's another one It's Neil Razor Ruddock I'm gonna do a six definitely Oh get the fuck out of him Really? Six Six I didn't expect that I definitely didn't expect that from Luke because there are certain reasons that will become clear when I give you my six absolute bangers. We'll go for it then. Liverpool. West Ham. Yeah, I had those two. QPR. Well done. Palace. Well done. Spurs. Oh, I forgot about Spurs. Yeah. And one more. The one that's going to upset Lukey, did he play for Portsmouth? Hey! He played for Sampton. Oh, fuck!

0:59A telenovela. It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's my video. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

1:30Hello everybody, it is here, my biddy aunt. We're back with another one. Luke's not here, thank goodness. So today we're doing a league fixture. It's bottom of the table Pete versus second bottom Jim. Can we be relegated from this? I don't, yeah. So we can stop doing it. So I mean we are really shamed. Do you want my little surprise about my biddy aunt? Go on. She's dying. No Right, there we go Happy Friday everybody I made this I made this There we go What's he bloody doing They can't hear you You're chatting away You're far too late He's disappeared into a bag Oh wow Look at that He's made a belt I made a belt That is the My Biddy Ant belt The My Biddy Ant belt Look at that Show it to the camera Well I don't know I don't know which camera Is going to pick up the details Probably that one I guess The producers are telling you My Biddy Ant lineal champion Fire in the belly head in the freezer and I can't read the small bit but I couldn't get the word freezer in so I said fridge and the bottom says developmental doesn't count so we've now got a my biddy aunt lineal champion belt that we're not going to win it's not for grabs today we can leave it on the table at least well that's wonderful stuff Peter I'm sure Luke will be really happy to strap that round his waist you do need to get a jacks one while I'm still the belt holder I can't stress enough how quickly you need to do that You can pay for the bloody 3D print and resin then, can't you?

3:01Shut up, you little shit. Hey! Right. No, you're supposed to be impartial. You're supposed to be Switzerland, you arsehole. Supposed to be Switzerland. I've got all the paintings in gold. Yeah. Now, if you don't know the rules, they're very, very simple. Each round I name a footballer. One of you will bid on how many clubs of theirs you can name. Your opponent can then raise the... Biddy, biddy. Or challenge you to list them. Only professional clubs count. and the player in question must have made a competitive appearance for that team. If you fail to meet your opponent's scores! First to three points wins.

3:39Jimmy, are you ready? I'm as ready as I'll ever be which is a bit. A bit. Today's theme is in tribute to Pete Donaldson's position on the football pitch. Give me Gary Neville, give me Gary Neville, give me Gary Neville. We're talking fullbacks. Legendary left backs is what we're doing today. I know you're more of a right back, Petey. But I know you're ambidextrous when you want to be. Are these old school left backs or jinky wing backs? You're going to find out, baby. Petey, you're up first. Okay. Okay. Round one. Paolo Maldini. It's just a gag. It's just a little gag. It's just a joke. Who's going to win the belt?

4:20He was a great left back. The finest left back. The best left back. I've always said this. I've always said this. Round one. Sorry for that. Six clubs. Genuinely a fine, fine left back. And for my money, the best left back England have ever produced. Ashley Cole. Six clubs. Six clubs. Fabulous player. What a player he was. Could keep any right winger in check. Any right winger, you say? Yes, I do. We are going to go for a Pete Donaldson. What can I ask you for, old boy? Five. Five! It's a good bid. Jimmy, can you do six? Strong bids. Ooh. Ooh! I realise I've put one of them down twice. Uh-oh! But yeah, I will go for six.

5:09Jim's going to go for six. Jim's going for six. Well, Peter, your hands are tied. Jim Campbell is going to go for all six. And I'll tell you something, that would be, you know, decent. I think a lot of them are guessable, of course. But I think six clubs straight off the bat, I think for a guy who's been a bit low on confidence recently, Jim, that's a good start. It's an Arsenal player though, isn't it? So, I mean, obviously that's my first answer. So that's quite a kind one for old Jim. Arsenal, eh? I mean, to be fair, when you say it's a kind one, if Pete didn't have Arsenal in the five, sure, I would be very, very disappointed with him.

5:41But I mean that I'm more familiar with players who play for my club. That's true. Okay, so Arsenal, you say? That is correct. Yes. While he was at Arsenal, he went on loan to Crystal Palace. Oh! Early in his career. Come on now. No, I didn't have that one, you dirty, dirty little boy. I think, did he go to Chelsea? Money, money, money. Some memory of Ashley Cole going to Chelsea. Money. Shortly after Chelsea. Yes, I'm not sure of the exact order. I know he played for Roma as well. He played for Derby County eventually. And I think it was LA Galaxy that he played for. I mean, absolutely spotless from Jim.

6:19Well done, Jim. I just died eating sweets because I'm not going to beat him. No, not this form. You've got a good chance That was a lovely underarm throw For old Jim That was a good start And Crystal Palace on loan I think that was the curvy ball Which some people may not have got But Jim wasn't fooled at all by it Jim you're up to serve On this round two He does play left back It's Big Dan Byrne Seven clubs Seven Brackets S-E-V-E-N. Seven clubs for the gigantic Dan Byrne. No man has ever been bigger than him before or since. That's true. He's the absolute colossus, isn't he? Seven clubs. Seven clubs.

7:07I know you know one of them. Yeah, I know one of them for sure. Seven whole clubs for big Dan Byrne. Can I have a bid, Jim? Give me what we want, baby. I'm going to go for four. Four. Oh, is that the sweet spot? Four. I've got to go for five. I've just have to go to five, don't I? You have to? Do you feel you have to? Yeah, because... Actually, you know what? I'm going to let Jim name his. Are you going to do that, Peter? You made me think... You're not going to go for five? No, I'm not going to go for five. Jim, name your fucking teams. Four teams for Big Dan Burn. Big Dan Durn. Yeah. Four teams.

7:50Four teams. I am going to go for Brighton. And Hove Albion. Can I have another ding, please? I will make that joke every time they come up. Dirty little boy. He, of course, currently plays for Newcastle United. And now we enter the area where Peter has called my bluff. Yes. I thought, well, it doesn't matter what I think. Yeah. So I'm going to go for Blythe Spartans, right? Because I know he's from there. Okay. I mean, are Blythe Spartans even professional? Who cares? I didn't thought of that can we get confirmation whether they're professional or not I mean Blythe Spartans are not one of his seven professional football clubs so it's one all Peter you went can I I mean presumably you had Fulham in there yes I did I had Darlow as well so your Darlington is where he started and then he went to Fulham Yeovil Town on loan Birmingham City on loan Wigan Athletic on loan not Darby no Southampton No I'm glad I didn't say any of those things Those five clubs and Brighton and Newcastle is where he played Blind Spartans are not professional he was there during his youth though Right Okay So I see what you were doing there But it ultimately was fruitless Yes indeed it was So it's 1-0 Good See Peter you used a bit of tactic Thank you Yes

9:17Now we move on to round three. Round three. A man, Peter Donaldson, you're up first, who played for eight clubs. Eight clubs? Shake his hand, won't you? It's Wayne Bridge. Oh, God. Yes. The handshake. That's a clue for one of his clubs. Wayne Bridge. How many England caps did he get? About 35-ish England caps. Give or take one or two. But yes, Wayne Bridge, one can forget he got all those England caps. At a time when there was fierce competition, that left back with him and Ashley Cole. Don't get me wrong, Ashley Cole was a better player. But Wayne Bridge, tailed off, one might argue. But he did play for England for a long time.

10:10Peter, I've stalled long enough for you. Thank you. Can I have a bid, please? Three. Three clubs. That's a law start. Jim Campbell, I fancy you to get more than that. Yeah. I'm going to go for four. He's going to go for four. Jim looks confident. Peter, would you like to go five? No, God no. Okay. And I think Jim's bluffing his ticket a little bit this round. So you're falling back into the tactics from the previous round. I am, yes. All right, Jim Campbell, can you name four clubs that Wayne Bridge played for? I think he played for, as they call them, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. Yeah, you do only get one answer to that.

10:47He also played for Manchester City. He did. Later on, he played for Southampton. That is correct. Although he started his career at Southampton. I'm going to go all the way back to West London because I believe he played for Fulham as well. He did play for Fulham. Did he play for Birmingham? He did not play for Birmingham City. He played for Blythe Sparta. He may well have done that. I'm quite sure he didn't though. So Manchester City was a huge move for him, of course. but that's where it started to sort of go wrong because he was on that big contract fell out the team and much was made out of that he went fell out the team well that's one way of putting it just makes him sound clumsy but he was there at West Ham was another one he went on loan to Sunderland I thought Sunderland I did as well actually I'd have Sunderland down but the thing is you can always say that can't you Sunderland's a yeah you could say that about like Hernan Crespo

11:46It'll always make you kind of question it I mean a tickle can be troublesome or it can be helpful Right So let's go back to it Southampton, Chelsea, Fulham, Man City, West Ham, Sunderland, Brighton and finished at Reading So it's 2-1 to Jim Campbell as we move to round four I think I should play more defensively Well it's not worked out fully for you It didn't work out on that Wayne Bridge round I've got my point Now there's some guessable ones here Right Otherwise what would be the point Round four A man who we all know and love And my goodness He loves a raw chicken Seven clubs It's Patrice Evra Jim you're up Seven clubs For that beautiful man I'm going to go for four Four straight off the bat there From Jim Campbell and that is, one might say that's the sweet spot, one might not, Peter, but that does give you an enormous amount of food for thought because Jim Campbell is 2-1 up.

12:53He needs this round to win, to destroy you, to put you back in your pathetic little sad, dirty box. Come on. But four clubs, five are guessable, six are guessable, seven are guessable because that's the amount of clubs he's played for. And very much the nature of guessing. exactly that's guessing for you so four clubs Jim has got for he looks fairly confident does Jim four yeah so can I hear five clubs that Patrice Evra played for for you from you yeah I'm gonna go five you're gonna go five Jim can I hear six no not so confident on six not so confident on six alright Peter Dalton to stay in the game Patrice Evra can you name five of his clubs Man United Yeah Always go for the ones you know I was going for the ones you know Marseille Well played Juve Very good His French club was Monaco I think Very good I think he might have this Three more Three more clubs you've got to choose from But obviously you just need one of them He went to Turkey for a bit But I can't remember his Turkish side West Ham Very good Peter Very good I remembered them just in time It's the Sunderland of the south Yeah Well We've got our My Biddy Ant back Got my Biddy Ant back Peter Too old When you mentioned Turkey I was a bit like Oh dear Because he started incredibly At Monza Monza The credit card Exactly yeah Monza Monza I wouldn't have got Monza Where were you going And then of course He was transferred After that Nice To Nice You're correct Nice Yes Nice Nice So Monza and Nice Were the Were his first two clubs And then Monaco Manchester United Juve Marseille And West Ham To be honest with you Did he not do Turkey?

14:49No he never went to Turkey So when you said that I thought Oh am I going to be pressing The Jim Campbell wins button But I may not be We shall see I mean he started his career At Masala Masala Not a tica In Italy But they're not a professional club It's always fascinating Very much the blind Spartans In Italy So, Nise aren't a professional club at the moment. Well, yeah, blimey, less said about that, the better. So, I mean, presumably, Jim, the four you had, I'm guessing, were Man U, Juve, Marseille, and West Ham. No, Man U, Juve, Marseille, and Monaco. I forgot about West Ham until far too late.

15:22Yes, okay. I'd be surprised. I mean, maybe somebody, you know, Luke, being the champion, might have had Nise. But five, I think that was very, very well played. Yeah, it was. Strong for me. And it sets up, I think it's strong for anybody. I think that sets it up beautifully because it's two all. It's all square. Clear your throats, gentlemen. Pete Darlson, wishing that he'd got it wrong and it was all over, but no. It's continuing. We go into round five and Pete, you're on point for this one. A player that everybody is very, very familiar with. Nine clubs. Oh, it's too much scope. Roberto Carlos.

16:03Oh. Oh. you'll definitely know some of them nine clubs Pete Donaldson you are on point for this one a fabulous player he was what a left back, what an absolute cannon of a left foot he

16:26so funny oddly you want to start giving clues but of course that would be unprofessional but then whoever said that I was professional. Nine clubs for Roberto Carlos as they may call him in parts of Scotland. Peter, it's that time for you to give me a bitty bitty. How can I do four? Four. I think that's a decent bit. Jim? Yeah, I'm going to let Pete do four. Oh! I'm not confident on Roberto Carlos at all. Yeah. Well, how about that? Peter? Peter, have you bitten off more than you can chew here. Well, maybe I'll do a bit of showboarding. Okay, okay. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. For Pete Donaldson to get his first ever victory in my biddy aunt.

17:14All the way back when it was called Luke's Game as well. We can include all of it. This, for a first ever victory, for Pete Donaldson, for North Macedonaldson, this would be huge. For Donico, it would be huge. Don't talk it up too much. I'll screw it up. Right, four clubs of the nine football clubs, professional ones that Roberto Carlos played for. Pete Donaldson, far away. I'll just add another one there. And I'll decide which one I'm going for. Real Madrid. There you go. That's the one you started with. Now. Now. He played in India. In India? Yeah. All right. With, it was with Alessandro Del Piero.

17:58Right. And I think they were called Delhi Wanderers. I can't give you that I can't give you that Fuck What were they called? Delhi Dynamo's Oh Peter Why did you go for them first? What were your other ones? To be fair I would have fucked it all up anyway PSG Never played for PSG Real Madrid and Inter were the only ones Real Madrid and Inter And I wondered Fenerbahce as well Fenerbahce yeah I mean they were the three What was Santos? I didn't play for Santa as my Brazilian guess well that's it with Brazilian players you've always got a chance yeah Uniao São João yeah was where it started yeah Uniao São João of course you bozos that's where it started I would have needed the wide Spartans of Brazil I would have needed the Delhi Wanderers Delhi Dynamo when you said Delhi I thought oh he's going to pull this out of the bag yeah Atletico Mineiro he went after that Palmeiras oh see these this is the thing isn't it you could pick a big Brazilian team there's about fucking 20 of them yeah so Palmeiras Inter as you said Real Madrid Fenerbahce Corinthians Angie Makesh Carla oh famously yes if you may have remembered that and then Deli Dynamos oh that's unlucky Pete that's the thing I don't think because I wouldn't have got them but I think the I like that you had a go I mean I can't give you Deli Wanderers I just couldn't if it was alliterative then maybe yeah yeah yeah I'm fairly certain that side isn't even called Deli Wanderers They're not like Deli Dynamo anymore.

19:30No, they're not. You're absolutely right. When he played for them, they were Deli Dynamo's, but they've changed now. Because they had a lot of fucking money in the back end of Carl's career, basically. Oh, look, it's a battle in attempt. Never mind. The search for victory goes on, but again, Peter, I think you've won a lot of supporters. Yeah. The North Macedonelson people will be delighted with that. I really like Donaco because of the sort of, you know, well, the tax implications. I'd like those tax implications too. But ultimately they're dancing on the streets of Jim Barbway. Well done, Jim Barbway.

20:05Thanks. Do you want to stroke the belt? I do want to stroke the belt, actually. I'm probably not going to get that near to it, otherwise. Maybe put it over your shoulder like a wrestler. How... Have you designed this so it's going to be difficult for anybody to wear? No, actually it's got a... Oh, would it go all the way around me? I don't know. It feels judgy, this. It feels... Oh, you've been snacking, have you? Because Luke's got it every fucking week. You've been snacking, have you? Well, you better put it back. Otherwise, Luke Aaron Moore will come thundering through the studio. Very angry indeed.

20:35He'll do that anyway. True enough, but hopefully not by the time we finish this pod. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the ACAST Creator Network. We'll be back on Monday to react to all the weekend's football. Make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. My biddy aunt has come to an end. There's a winner in Jim Campbell. There's a runner-up in Pete Donaldson. but my goodness, I think my biddy aunt is the true winner. We all go home happy ultimately. We are better for this.

21:03Never forget that. Have a lovely Friday. Get your pit bull on. Never, ever, ever stop the party until very late on Sunday because the economy does need to function. Join us later for the live stream on the Ramble YouTube channel for a Jim and my immediate reaction straight after the World Cup draw, of course. We're going to be live, Jim. We're going to be talking about Donald Trump, Ria Ferdinand, Gianni Infantino, and also the small matter of who England will get in their group, who Scotland will get in their group, who the US and Canada and Mexico get in their groups. Where Norway land. We could end up with Norway in our group.

21:38It's possible. Where are Curacao going to end up? Indeed. New Zealand. We're not going to be answering those questions because you'll probably watch the draw yourself. Fiji? Did Fiji get in? No, don't start this now. Don't start this party. Don't stop the confusion. Oh dear. Lovely old job. We'll see you later after the World Cup draw on the Football Ramble YouTube channel Live!

22:12Live Spartans. That's who we'll be. Are you going to time for a live stream after the end of the World Cup draw? Before your actual live stream? A piss. Oh. Oh. The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.