My Biddy Aunt: Midfield Classics

0:02What we saw? He's gone for four, isn't he? Yeah, I'll give it a crack, why not? Oh, I can go for five! Why not? Come on, Jim! QPR. And this one is another little tickle. Bristol City? It's going to be Rovers, isn't it? Bristol Rovers. Bollocks!

0:23It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. It's one of those games that's just really difficult to explain. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. it's my beardy aunt I'm Pete Donaldson I'm Luke Moore and I'm Vidushina Hunter-Raja

0:51I'll level you lads I'm not happy about this so Vish is hosting today and you're playing against me and you feel like you've had that sprung on you by which we mean that you didn't read who was up against who? No. Yeah, I had access to the information. You didn't? I didn't go into that particularly library. You didn't avail yourself of that information. I didn't avail myself of that information. So yeah, it is my biddy aunt. I'm stepping up as challenger. Yeah. Jamie Vardy-esque. I thought non-league football was my destiny. Yeah. But I'm in the big leagues. He still played in non-league football.

1:21You've just chosen not to play this game. That's a good point. No, my capacity to play this game has chosen for me. And get that out of your head because non-professional teams don't count on my biddy aunt. so stop using that analogy otherwise you're going to noddle yourself up I'll be honest with you I humbled Vish last time fair but there's a kind of wild card element about playing Pete that doesn't sit that well with me I'd rather go head to head with an honest pro outrageous rather than someone who's so unpredictable you never know what you're going to get because it's a tactical game as well one of the big things in boxing is the standoff where they kind of meet kind of nose to nose and staring each other in the eye.

2:03Yeah. And actually, when you think about it, it's when someone doesn't stare you in the eye that you need to be worried. Because they're about to hit you. But in Pete's case, he's just staring at my cock the whole time. I'm going to hit that. Yeah. He probably will. Right below the belt. And I think the box analogy is a good one. I'll take the point. Because if he's just a straight street brawler and wants to drag me into deep water, I could get undone, couldn't I? Yeah. Yeah, but he wants to drag you also into the sky. He does. Exactly. He's got a jet pack. We're just in a strip to the waist.

2:32I'm in a boxing match, me and Lukey Moon. I asked you about that before and you said no. You said no. Yes, Vish, you're going to be today's ref. I am. Is this the first time you've ref-read the game? Yeah, I feel like I have, but many moons ago. Right. Well, you're always so good at the games, people normally just want you to play, I think. Yeah, maybe. And also, there have been times where I've won and decided to leave the country for a month or two. Which you're doing next month again, aren't you? Yeah. Weren't you spotted in a shop and you were buying a Lost Mary VIP? I was, yeah. Because his mum was listening, he was buying crisps.

3:02Yeah. Lost Mary crisps. Lost Mary crisps. Pineapple sundown crisps. Oh, God, the idea of my mum then going into the shop, being like, I'm going to try to have some of those lost Marys. You told the story that you walked into a shop to buy a vape and someone said to you, Eerie is the most hated man in quizzes. Yeah, because that's how Marcus... Which is news to me. I know, good stuff. That's what Marcus said to me when I beat Jim last week. Yeah, right. nothing up for grabs just a bit of personal pride which didn't explain why Jim fell on his sword but yeah I walked in went to buy a vape and bear in mind the show comes out at what like say 4pm on a Friday this would have been about like 5.30pm so he'd already listened to the show and was armed with that information and used it alright then what's the game all about so the game is well to be honest quite simple despite the fact that we said it's quite hard at the start but each round I will give you a footballer and one of you will bid on how many clubs you can name that they've played for.

4:02Look at Pete, he's fashioning a matrix. You are, yeah. Five rounds, isn't it? Yeah. If you think it's going to go that deep, that's promising. Your opponent can then raise the bid or challenge you to list the number of clubs that you've specified. Again, as Luke mentioned before, only professional clubs count and the player must have played at least one competitive game for that club. If you fail to meet your bid, your opponent scores. Five rounds, first to three wins, but we will play through the five rounds regardless. And today's theme is midfield classics. Right. Midfield classics. Usually when I play the games, I get a bit of Newcastle in there.

4:43So this is a shame. I'm not giving anything away. There have been some midfielders who've played for Newcastle. Not classics. That doesn't describe any midfielders I think of. It's classics by To a point in longevity Else it would be a Ruinous game Right Let's put on our classics And have a little bit Of a dance shall we Yeah That's a good reference Can I have a little bit More time than usual Just to get my Speak to vision I'm the referee Is that okay Is that because I am bad Yeah That's it That's my only plea So you'd like our listeners To listen to about 30 or 40 seconds No we can edit it out It's fine Okay but you've told them That Yeah we could have had three hours of thinking time.

5:24Why are we releasing the show on Saturday? Pete's still in the chair. Pete's still in the chair. He's drawn his matrix. Right, let's go on with it. Who's going first? I'm going to, you know what, I'm going to go with your generosity here and I'm going to have you up first despite the fact that you are the dual champion. Okay. Because you're heavily invested in this show being a success outright. Yeah. So you need to make your bid accordingly. Okay. When I say that this man played for nine clubs and his name is Nemanja Matic. Oh, okay. That's quite a tough start, actually. Nine clubs, Nemanja Matic.

6:06Still playing, by the way. Yeah. He is still playing, isn't he? I think I might know where he's still playing. I think. Okay. I'll go for three clubs. Three clubs. Pete Higher or lower than three? You can't get lower can they? Good point I was just thrown there because you're hiding Your answers the wrong way So the producers can't see what you're writing But Luke if he changes it can see what you're writing Should I pop my computer up like that? You want to yeah Just on the login screen I mean more full Luke if he's trying to cheat off you Yeah I can only do three so let's have let's have a three Lukey you don't want to guess a fourth you want me to do three hmm yeah yeah I do actually yeah I'm not actually sure about this yes I've done what I I determined not to do you thought you didn't have to work this hard but you're going to have to work this hard yeah nice like it oh god okay losing the first round to Pete Donaldson what a shame not yet I haven't what a shame alright so you want me to name three yes name three the Manumatic Manchester United of course and Chelsea.

7:23Play for both of those. Now, I think I know where he is now, but I'm not 100 % sure. And I think I know that he went to a club in Italy, but I'm not 100 % sure about which one either. So, I've got to choose between two of them.

7:43Okay. Okay. I think he played for Fiorentina.

7:51oh my god is he at ren now vish can i uh come in with what what italian team i think it is go on it's a swallow fucking hell pete well you got the point anyway yeah you deserved it and i'm fairly certain a preview i'm fairly certain i was thinking of vidich in my head it's vidich but is he at ren now uh so he was at ren oh fucking hell that's the 23 and 24 so he started in uh cosice in slovakia i was gonna get that he then went to chelsea was he in genoa so he's currently playing for sassuolo he had played for ren from ren he went to leon uh the other italian club he played for was roma cosice i mentioned the start luke you You've got Chelsea and Man City United.

8:37In between that were a loan spell at Vitesse through a refeed club for Chelsea and a stint at Benfica before Chelsea then brought him back. I should have fucking known that. This is really poor stuff for me. I could not be happier, Luke. I had it written down, see? You did. I did go for it. Yeah. I've got those three. Pete, you're off the mark. Yeah. Good start, mate. Take some confidence from it. I wrote Inter. Did you? Stop doing yourself down, you're 1-0 up. Yeah. I was thinking of Vinic. Yeah. I was thinking of Vinic. Oh, fucking shit. Oh, no, great. Well done, me. Yes, you're one new up. What are you doing?

9:11Come on. And you're up first this time. Yeah, you're up first this time around. Give me a bit of time, please. Yeah. Stop pleading poverty. You're one new up. You're one new up and you're in a button-up shirt. Please, sir, give me a bit of time. I don't need a bit of time. I'm not very good at it. All of a twist. Yeah.

9:34Seven Clubs Our next player Is Scott Parker That's more like it Isn't it So just write the name Seven Clubs Scott Parker Not Nemanja Vidic Not Scott Carson Not Scott Arfield The driver of Not a Scott Yeah God Okay Scott Parker Seven Clubs Pete Can I have your first bit Hang on Okay fine fine Luke what are you up to Are you good Yeah I'm fine mate How many clubs I've been better Seven clubs Is it my bid It is your bid I'm going to do six Fuck off you doing six Come on I'm going to do six Come on I reckon I'm going to do six This is all my worst nightmares Come at once He's not wearing any trousers Luke I reckon you could do seven I think I could too But the pressure is too much to bear Do seven dirty boy Give us your magnificent seven The thing is...

10:27Can I do seven? If I let him do six... Steady. You might not have to... You can't bid seven. You might not have to stop it. If I let him do six and he does it, I am fucking well up against it. But if I try and do all seven... I think you've got seven in your locker. If I was playing Marcus, what would I do here? He would definitely do six. I'd have to do seven. Can Pete genuinely do six clubs Scott Parker played for? I don't think his mind is anywhere near it or ordered enough for that. So I'm going to let him name his six because I'm not sure about the seventh. And he can do it in his own terms.

11:04If he goes two little up, then fucking good on him. That's what I say. I'm going to go with my nailed on ones. I think a nailed on, right? Surely, yes. Go on then, one at a time. End with the one that I'm not sure about. One at a time. Fulham. Spurs. So poorly travelled this man. West Ham.

11:30Chelsea, he did Chelsea, didn't he? He did. That's four. You've got two more to go. My beloved Newcastle. Oh, my God. You're one away. Terrified that that was the one you were going to forget. Did he go to Norwich? Oh, my God. On loan. You are taking one hell of a beating here. I had Norwich written down. Do you have Norwich as well? That is incredible. Because it was the only time he left the fucking M25. Yeah And the last one is Charleston Charleston Athletic Oh fuck That would have been so much easier I know yeah Oh wow Right This is fucking bad That's why the Newcastle ones are better This is bad It's better football isn't it 2-0 down Pete you're 2-0 up Yeah I mean this is Unprecedented scenes really I'm telling you the third round We move on to round three So I mean look There is a way back There's always a way back but it'll have to start here.

12:25Round three, John Joe Shelby. Oh, fuck off. And Luke, you're bidding first. John Joe Shelby, nine clubs. I'm going to lose. Nine clubs, John Joe Shelby. Nine. I'm going to have to take the ball by the horns here, aren't I?

12:47Can I hear your opening bid? Six. Six clubs. And if Donaldson can do seven clubs that John Joe Shelby played for, he deserves the title. He deserves it. I can only do five. You've got to do six. Pete Donaldson, you have... To stay in it. Bow down. Again, Charlton. Where he started. Liverpool. Newcastle. Nottingham Forest he played for. He did, didn't he? He did a little stint at Burnley. Quite recently. And he did a low move to Blackpool for a bit. That's it. There is your six. Well played. I've got one more. What? Ayup Spur. Ayup Spur? Yes! Remember? There was two Turkish clubs, right? He was at two Turkish clubs, but I can't remember them.

13:33Oh, and he's in Qatar now, is he? No. Well, he's currently playing for an amateur UAE third tier side called Arabian Falcons. They wouldn't count though, right? No. Arabian Falcons. The EOP Spor was the second Turkish team he played for after Kaikor Rizaspor. Right, right. There was Swansea City in there as well, which is who he moved from when he joined Newcastle. Right, okay. So 2-1. Pete, your serve this time. And it's for... I'm doing all right. I'm happy with this. You're doing really well, mate. I'm doing all right here. I threw under a lot of pressure. Defensively, but I think me Parker got me there.

14:09Yeah, a legend of the game. Eight clubs. Edgar Davids. Oh. Edgar Davids. Oh, eight. Bloody hell, that's a lot. Eight clubs. Which actually, quite nice, because if you tilt the number eight, it looks like the funny glasses he used to wear. Pete Donaldson, can I hear your opening bid for Edgar Davids? I've got a number. I'm not sure about one of them. Cool. Is this to win, Pete? Yeah. I'm going to go four. I'm going to cross that one out. I'm going to go four. five that is a lovely bid I think that's a lovely bid Edgar Davies eight clubs six you've gone six I'll go six all right take it to the fourth can I hear seven can I hear seven I mean Pete I don't want to be I don't want to be disrespectful here but if you can name seven clubs that Edgar Davies play for you deserve the title it's as simple as that I really can't I really can't okay so you're going with your six right Luke take it away six clubs I'm not sure about all of them.

15:15This is what he's put me in. This is what he's kind of put me under. Ajax. Barcelona. I wouldn't show up. Barca, see. Juventus. Spurs. Oh, fuck. Did he play? Did he also play? Now, this is where it gets really fucking tricky. Did he play for Inter? He did. He did. Yeah. Okay. And then... One more to go. I think we could actually do seven then. But the sixth one is, he played for Barnet, and they're in the club. He did. Nice. Lovely stuff. Did he play for Palace? He played for Palace as well in 2010. And the club, British club, another British club. The club that you missed was Milan. Oh, fuck, of course.

16:02He played for Milan and Udo, I remember that, yeah. So we're 2-2, decider. Pete, did you think he was going to get this far? No, I didn't think he was going to get this far. Well, you did know you were playing, did you? I mean, they're slightly older players apart from Vidic obviously. Who wasn't? Who wasn't? Yeah. I should have been bald with Edgar Davids, but yeah. Are you a bit nervous now? Because I know you don't care. You're into it, aren't you? I'm into it now. Yeah, you like it. He's rolled his sleeves up. He has a look. He's taken my jacket off. So Luke, you are bidding on the final round.

16:35It's 2-2. And this man has played for 10 clubs. It's Danny Drinkwater. Oh, fuck. Fuck the fuck off. Danny Drinkwater, 10 clubs. Can you give us your opening big for the final decisive round, Luke Moore?

16:55Oh, my God. This is an absolute disaster. This is like the worst ever player I could have got.

17:05Daniel Drinkwater.

17:10Oh, it could be anyone. I'll go for three. 3 out of 10. Pete. Pete, Pete, Pete. Let me hear you 4. Are you going to do more than 3, Pete? Yeah, fuck it. Let's have 4. 4! He's gone for 4! Luke, I'm going back to you. Have you got any more than 4 for Danny Drinkwater? Oh, I've forgotten one. Good. Oh, God.

17:40Nah, let him do his 4 for the win. No, Pete! Pete! How many? No, just four. Just need to do four. Yeah, I'll do four. You just need to do four. Okay. You couldn't refuse to do it then, by the way. You had to do four. I'm an objector. Pete, for the win, which is now in your hands, can you name me four out of the ten clubs that Danny Drinkwater played for?

18:10Oh, dear. Come on. My mouth's gone dry. The number of people who are hanging on this. Yeah. Leicester. That's one of four. I had that one.

18:23Chelsea. That's two of four. You need two more. Two away from immortality here, Pete. And you can host for the rest of the season to keep the time off. Hot shot, innit? Man United. Oh, he didn't play for them, did he? He didn't actually play for them. Oh, no. Yes! He started there, but he never played. Oh, that is gutting. That is absolutely gutting. Pete, I really feel for you there. Danny Drinkwater started his career at Manchester United in 2009, but made no professional appearances. Piss or get off the pot, water. What was your other one you had? Manchester United career was on loan. I had Burnley, Sheffield United.

19:10Burnley was right Sheffield United was wrong Right okay Villa and Leeds Villa no Leeds So he started at Hattiesville Town On loan from Manchester United Then Cardiff City Watford and Barnsley Cardiff Also on loan from Manchester United Leicester City Chelsea Which you named And then Burnley Luke you mentioned there Aston Villa On loan Kasim Passa In Turkey And then Reading Was his last professional club On loan Not like Reading I felt like that was a really good battle, mate That was good I am spent I feel like I've I've put a bit more honour Well, a tiny amount of honour On the Donaldson name there You know where the honour has come from?

19:53Effort Yeah, exactly Effort versus luck What's the luck thing? Yeah, yeah Preparation opportunity Preparation opportunity Yeah, I mean, he's still lost But what a game, though What a game It was a great game I'll take it I'll take it It was a mixture of defensiveness Yeah Defensiveness letting Luke go for it and but I think your Scott Parker round was magnificent Scott Parker round was very strong but I mean he was a Newcastle player so that does help he's gone two and a lot where's your beards yeah I don't think it works if you get to choose to play I don't have a go yeah I mean let's be fair quite a few of these players played for Newcastle right I wonder why they should have triggered that grey matter Edgar Davis-Bivy Yvonne it's a different team same shirt same shirt yeah thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast creator network myself, Marcus, Jim and Pete will be back on Monday to react to all the weekends football and make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts.

20:49Pete congratulations. I mean that was impressive. It was a good performance I think. Gallant. Luke Moore congratulations. Thanks very much. I enjoyed it it was a great game. It was an FA Cup semi. See you next week. Love it.

21:07The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.