My Biddy Aunt: Premier League Newcomers

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0:37Individual results may vary. In 2023, a source sent me a tip. It tied baseball's biggest star to a vast, illegal sports betting operation. Shohei Otani! But then, someone surprising confessed to me. His best friend.

0:56Pete Donaldson: I'm Epe Mizahara, and you do have permission to record me. From 30 for 30 Podcasts, this is The Betrayal of Shohei Otani. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. You know when you finally get started on a project around the house and then five minutes in you realize you're missing one thing? Somehow it's always that one thing that sends you back to the store. That's why I love this from Lowe's. If you're a My Lowe's Rewards or My Lowe's Pro Rewards member, you get free same-day delivery. Honestly, Lowe's will make the run for you, making it that much easier to get what you need.

1:33Just place your order and Lowe's handles the rest. It seriously makes life so much easier, especially when you've already got a million things going on. Members get more at Lowe's. $25 minimum and loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2 p.m. Subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. Terms at lowes.com slash shipping terms. Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back to school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery.

2:15Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back to school must-haves at Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only.

2:51Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. Hi, I'm Jack Cravici, Kramer host of The Best One Yet. At T-Boy, we're always talking about small decisions that can have an outsized impact. One of the simplest is staying hydrated. Whether I'm traveling, getting a workout in, or heading into a busy day, I keep Liquid IV on hand. It's clinically demonstrated to hydrate faster than water alone and contains three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients. It's an easy addition to your daily routine and helps support hydration when you need it most.

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3:55Pete Donaldson: We're back with the first edition of this season's My Biddy Aunt. Again, thank you to George Jacobs on the Football Ramble patron for the new name, replacing that worn-out Luke's game nonsense. Biddy Aunt means basically because we're bidding, isn't it? We're bidding. Yeah, and you had a giddy aunt. I still do. Right. She's not even that giddy. Right. She will be when she hears this. She'll be thrilled. It all makes sense in the end. She'll be giddy on the biddy. The summer series of My Biddy Aunt was so successful. So many people loved having it back. So we thought, well, bloody hell, we're going to give it to them.

4:25Pete Donaldson: The nation needs it. Absolutely. Luke was dominant in the summer. He was very good. He was very good. And that's why we had to change the name of the game. It's true, actually. To make him less dominant. He's dominating not only the actual game, but the title as well. Well, people started to think, hang on a minute. He's dominating his own game. It's not Luke's game. It's the people's game now. Exactly, yeah. The Biddy Ants game. Exactly, yeah. So today it's going to be Jim versus me. with that guy, Pete Donaldson, reffing. Reffing and reffing. The name may have changed, but the game remains as intense as ever.

5:01If you don't know the rules, don't worry. They are super simple. Each round, I will name a footballer and each of you will offer me a bid for how many clubs they've played for that you can name. Players can either keep increasing the bids or call out their opponent and get them to name their clubs. The football in question, very important this one, must have played a competitive game for that club for it to count. and of course if you fail to name the number of clubs you've bid for your opponent will get the point we're going to be playing the best of five rounds very excited about a new season of this nonsense let's start the game today's game is a fresh look on this summer's transfers and players have to have played a competitive game to count let's not forget round one six clubs we're going to start with you Jim Victor Kikarez or Kikarish

5:45Pete Donaldson: nice underarm throw for old Jim appreciate it obviously signed for Arsenal But you can't have Arsenal Can't have them Can't have them Annoying Don't tell him that Don't tell him that He might have thought The Premier League Kicked off last week He might have said it Yeah Might have messed up I am confident About three clubs One I One I'm There's one I think I might know Which isn't Isn't enough So I'm going to Save and go for three Right Bearing in mind Marcus You got your arms folded In a huff In a huff Because I want You're wearing like a Breton stripe and shorts and you look like a rather tempestuous teenager.

6:23Oh, do I? On a school trip.

6:25Pete Donaldson: Oh, dear. To be fair, he better get Tom Kearney after this.

6:31Pete Donaldson: You do him on the three. I mean, I know Jim can do three. Yeah. A strong three from Jim. Yeah. Push him to five. Okay. You have to play along now, Jim. I don't remember this rule. Yeah. I'm just going to have to massively take a punt with a fourth. And I will go for four. You're going to go for four? Yeah, good for you. Strong start. Lovely. One of them is unpronounceable. Not a clue. Jim, are you going to give us a five? No, I'm not going to do five. No, I'm going to give us a five. Wild. Marcus is starting strong, starting aggressive. No, I'm reluctantly, you know, all right, fine. All right then.

7:17Pete Donaldson: So, sporting. Lisbon. He said Lisbon. That's not what they're called. That's not what they're called. That's wrong. Don't worry, Jim. I'm quite confident you're going to get this point. He's having it. He's having it. Coventry City. He did play for Coventry City. 21 to 23. Yeah. Now, I'm sort of reasonably confident. So you might get the point. But you know what you thought? Play for Swansea. On loan. Okay. 2020 to 21. Now. I'm fancying this. I'm getting more and more. No, no. As I said, I was pretty confident with those. Was they the three you had, Jim? They are, and I can confirm the chimescence.

7:55Pete Donaldson: So, what do I do here? I don't think you played. Just say the wrong answer. Yeah. Oh, don't worry. It's coming. I don't think you played for another side in these Fair Isles. Right. Would that be correct? I'm not saying anything. Goose, Marcus. Why can't I? Because it's cheating. It's not cheating. You're actively trying to cheat. No, I... You've done so well thus far. Don't sell it. No, no, it's not cheating. Cheating would be looking at his screen. Oh, God. Right, I'm moving my screen away. Yeah. Well, if a... Our clue's part of the game. Our clue's within the rule. If a player went up to a referee and said, are you going to send him off for that?

8:32Pete Donaldson: That's not cheating. Marcus, it's cheating. It's not cheating. Diving is cheating. This is like the FIFA Club World Cup. Jim, gamesmanship and cheating are two different things. Spoiling the Club World Cup. Okay, let's go for... It's a new tournament and I need it to be respected. Elfsburg. Where the hell Has Elfsborg come from It's in Scandinavia I think it's in Sweden Alright well Who did he play for Was it Brokhamon Was something like that I think I would have got Bromapoykana Yeah not that IF Bromapoykana And Brighton Of course Of course He played for Brighton For three fucking years guys Yeah Come on Well why didn't you tell me He played for this country He played for a German side as well On and on St.

9:13Pauli

9:13Pete Donaldson: Of course he played for St. Pauli as well I should have known these I should have known these You could have gone five, but you knew you didn't need to. Well, I could have gone five if I had heard the answers before and gone, oh, yeah, I did know that. I'll tell you what, producer Tom shot me a look when he said Brighton there. He was like, you really should have got that. And I should have done, but I didn't. Hey, no shooting looks. We used to be in our own little pod that we couldn't see any production staff. I'm already suffering the consequences of not being in the pod. Right. Room number two.

9:40Marcus, you're going to be doing this one. Am I? If that's all right. Starting. I'm going to have a go, at least. He's a man who's signed for Manchester United. He's had five clubs Matthias Cunha Oh bloody hell Matthias Cunha Signed for Man United Five clubs Apart from Man United Competitive appearances please How many clubs you got?

10:02Pete Donaldson: I am It's a tough one this one Struggling big time Big time Oh this is poor I don't think it's poor it is well from no I'm from me no I mean it's you know you haven't heard what's about to come up my mouth I haven't I'm slagging myself off when your enemies make mistakes don't get in their way let's just mention the team that Air Bud the dog played for oh my goodness Matthias Cunha I'm going to need something you are two two look I think that's a fair that's what I'll go for and I wouldn't have any yeah alright well I'm going to go for three yes come on Jim It's a bit of a punt. That's what we...

10:47Pete Donaldson: Look. Hey, fair play to you. Is it a curtain raiser? It's a curtain raiser. The keys to the... My biddy ant are jangling. Let's get started. Well, fair play to you. So the obvious one is, of course,

11:03Pete Donaldson: Wolverhampton Club The Wolves. We're going to need Wolverhampton Club The Wolves. Yeah, so Wolves are in there. We are going to need that one. That's a bedrock of an answer, that is. Yeah, we're up and running. First gear They of course Signed him from Atletico Madrid They did sign him From Atletico Madrid And he is a Brazilian man As we know He is a Brazilian man It's One of those Good God This is where it takes a ton Yeah there are these And both of you Will be familiar With this feeling There's a sense That a club Is sort of tickling Your brain It's like Yeah Am I Is this a guess Or is there something In my subconscious That is telling me That I know this The tickle can betray you But it can also sometimes you go oh of course it was a correct tickle it can excite a tickle is a cruel cruel companion who's tickling your fancy Palmeiras a tickle in my fancy oh okay and Marcus is indicating to me that he had a similar tickle yeah would you have had a similar tickle I'll be honest I actually forgot Atletico Madrid I didn't have two I had wolves and I thought was it Palmeiras and I thought I've got to say two I can't say one well it doesn't matter because Marcus you've got the points for this round oh None of that He played for Sion He played for Arby Leipzig And Hertha Berlin Oh wow So there we go Blimey So he never played in Brazil I presume not Unless The aforementioned Production staff Have stacked it That is odd Palmeiras It's always felt right about that When you said that I thought I think He might have a point there Yeah I can hear tapping That bloody tickle That bloody tickle The tickle can deceive That's annoying The tickle can enchant.

12:42You just never know which side the tickle will go.

12:45Pete Donaldson: Yeah, because I had a tickle with Jokeres in the first one. For some reason it was Wolves, and I thought, no, I'm not trusting that tickle. Apparently Wolves did nearly sign him. Maybe that was it. Before he went to sporting. So we've... How do we feel about the first two rounds of My Biddy Ant? Not good, because the tickles have let us down so far. Too many tickles. And the annoying thing about the tickles is they are just our brains. Yeah. It's your own brains tickling. You should get that same tickle. It sounds like... Who about, is it RFK Jr. had worm brains? Yeah, sorry, Cranes.

13:17Hi,

13:21I'm Jack Ravici, Kramer host of The Best One Yet. At T-Boy, we're always talking about small decisions that can have an outsized impact. One of the simplest is staying hydrated. Whether I'm traveling, getting a workout in, or heading into a busy day, I keep Liquid IV on hand. It's clinically demonstrated to hydrate faster than water alone and contains three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients. It's an easy addition to your daily routine and helps support hydration when you need it most. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

13:53This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast. This is Nick and Jack from The Best One Yet, and we are excited to tell you about Walmart business.

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15:36Individual results may vary.

15:43All right. Jim, you're up. Mm-hmm. It's currently... Is it 1-0? 1-0. It is. 1-0. Seven clubs, this gentleman has. Okay. He's just signed for Newcastle on the lawn, so you can't have that one. It's Aaron Ramsdale. Oh, okay. Okay.

16:00Pete Donaldson: Actually another Nice one for old Jim Seven clubs 27 Okay Last keepers for you Busy Yep So Alright I would have thought I would have known more Than I feel like I do actually I'm going to go for four Okay Okay Okay Right Just taking that in I'm going to think about it Marcus Have you got five? Yeah I'm just taking it in as well Take it deep in deep within you let's see what grows like a naughty egg it's annoying this I think four is the sweet spot oh and he's in England at national yeah he is do your country a service sir I biddy at needs you I do look a bit like Lord Kitchener at the moment yeah I do confident with three as I'm sure Jim probably is not that confident with four very unconfident with five.

16:59Pete Donaldson: Although, oddly, he is my brother. I think Jim could be having a good old bluff here, but I'd like Jim to name his four. Okay. All right then. Fingers at the ready. Well, the three that most of us in this room or listening will get are of course Southampton, Arsenal and Bournemouth. And I could be about to hand Marcus a point with my own slack internal logging system here. I think he was, I think he played for Chesterfield. He did. Impressive. He got a loan in 2018. Marcus, would you have had any of the other teams in there? I've got Bournemouth. Sheffield United? Sheffield United, yes. Played twice, 2015-17 and 2022.

17:48He played for Rotherham. He played for Andy Brassel's AFC Wimbledon and Worksop Town. Blimey, AFC Wimbledon.

17:56Pete Donaldson: I'm surprised we didn't know that about Andy Brassel's Wimbledon. I know. Why did Brassel keep that from us? Why did he indeed? Why did he indeed? Well, fair play to you, Jim. Just a field, that's a good shout, that. Yeah. I thought Sheffield United were going to be one of the ones. Yeah, because I completely forgot Bournemouth. Again, yeah, it's... There we go. The way the stupid game works, isn't it? By the way, I said just a field. Did my accent trip you up there? I assumed at some point he played in just a field. Just a field, yeah. Good point, actually. Is that a little VAR inquiry? I'm sure before we started this round The cameras gave up the gusts We haven't got the footage to be honest Marcus It's fine Marcus Speller It is now 2-1 to Jim Campbell He's match point Six clubs And may I remind you that It is competitive performances only He's just signed for Chelsea is Liam DeLapp.

18:52So you can have Liam DeLapp versus Chelsea. You can have Chelsea. You can have it. You can have it for free. Both of you. We can both have it. You both have it. Thank goodness for that. You've got a club in for free. Yeah. Yeah.

19:02Pete Donaldson: You've opened up the packet of Rice Krispies. There's a free Chelsea in there. Yeah. So it's doubled the amount of clubs that I know he's played for. Yeah. What? Is this right? Liam DeLapp. Okay. Six clubs. I shall bid go big three it's match point three three is all I've got three three is all I've got which is probably I'm scared they're even I'm scared you might even get Chelsea wrong the way you're playing this round I know right Jim can you beat three huh huh well there'll be a bit of guessing going on Marcus does sound confident about knowing the three though I did say at the start knowing that he's you know that we've given the freebie there it's doubled him out of five indeed he's licking his lips as well which I don't I don't really like screw it that's just I'm a bit I'll go for four go on Jim go on Jim yes go on Jimmy caution favouring the brave yeah but I like this though he's romping it he's gonna romp it if he wins this I'll hand him the trophy myself alright then Marcus no no Jim alright so I'm gonna go for Chelsea yes You got that one right.

20:19Pete Donaldson: Club World Cup counts. Club World Cup counts. The trophy's in the White House. The trophy's in the White House for Krono Lows. Exactly. Ibswich. Ibswich. Ibswich, yes. Play for Ibswich as well. Yeah, yeah. An East Coast club in the UK. Now I'm going to take a relatively unimaginative long throw into the ether here and suggest that maybe he at some point has played for Stoke City. he did yes well bloody played didn't have a permanent contract would that have been your third guess well played well played would it have been your third guess it would yeah okay and I am just going to revert to one of the golden rules of this game and just chuck Sunderland out there it is worth it it is worth it we're all square we're all square yeah lovely Presumably he played For Man City did he?

21:19Pete Donaldson: He did For Man City Of course he did For four long years Of course he did I'm surprised he made A competitive appearance Though actually I probably wouldn't have So Mark you probably Could have Got this one I lied to Jim I didn't have Stokesy Right Man City were the third club Would you have had Hull City or Preston North End No But I was aware That he'd Gone on load Toss the boot Do we know How many competitive games He played for Man City Not right now Probably one or two I mean I don't even know why they put the lap in. It's confusing for the rules. When you got Stoke City, I thought you had it.

21:51Pete Donaldson: I thought you were going to say Man City. Well, you know, now we get to play another round. Yeah, I appreciate that. I'll get one round for longer. I appreciate that. It just gets more exciting. It does, yeah. It just gets more exciting. All right, then. Jim Campbell. Yep. Five clubs. Just signed for Burnley. Armando Broja. Okay.

22:19It's going to be thin gruel this, I think.

22:20Pete Donaldson: Yes. Very thin gruel. Armando Broja. Presumably this means that there's ten clubs you didn't make a competitive appearance for and there's all that different loan spell as well. There are pitfalls here. Oh, man. Ooh. Pat Bonner. Absolutely. Abs are bloody exactly. Okay. I'm confident on two. I'm sure Marcus is as well.

22:53Are you actually? Because you're saying that and then you're going,

22:57Pete Donaldson: who did PSG be in the Super Cup? It wasn't Burnley, was it? That's the team they're playing. Yeah, I might be a, what used to be known in the era that I grew up as a dick splash. Right. I just bid two and then, you know, kind of chuck that back Speller's way. Okay, right. Well, I have to go three. You do. It's quite simply. Any advances on three? Any advances on three? No. We will know all of them when they're read out. I hate this game. Okay. They're all good sides. Marcus, let's have them. I'm actually quite confident. Yeah? Chelsea. Fulham. Everton.

23:43Pete Donaldson: Yeah! Yeah! Yes! Well done Well done Marcus I was surprised You only did two there Yeah now I forgot Did you forget Fulham Yeah Did you have any others In the pipe Jim In the tickle pipe Marcus Any ones that you would have Gone for If you had to have done A few more You're going to say Oh yeah But there's There's maybe like a Watford Or something in there Or an Italian team possibly I think he's played All his football here He played on lawn At Vitesse Oh okay Yeah And he also played at the underwhelming Southampton. There you go. That was one for a year. Yeah, I thought there was one on the other side.

24:20Well, there we have it. The curtain raiser. Marcus, you've got it in there.

24:25Pete Donaldson: That's one of those slugfests where both boxers look at each other and go, I'm just glad it's over. Fair enough. One of us won. Just two butterbeams. Two butterbeams batting her in each other. Can we just hug each other for a bit? Taking a dive at the end. There's a line in the League of Gentlemen where a little girl describes her dad by saying, I once saw him hit a man until he and the man were crying. And that's what this feels like now.

24:50Pete Donaldson: Welcome to the new season, everybody. All these players, nice new sightings. And I don't know, maybe we've managed to spoil that fear. I don't know. But thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAST Creator Network. Myself, Vish, and that guy, Pete Donaldson, are back on Monday to talk about the opening weekend of the Premier League. Make sure you follow us on the socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're everywhere. You would be a fool not to. Thanks very much. See you on Monday.

25:29The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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27:37It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast.