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Football Ramble

2 Oct 2026 · 23m · 9 chapters

Episode artwork

My Biddy Aunt: Statesiders

In short

Football Ramble game episode “Hey, it’s State Siders!” where hosts play a bidding/clubs-naming quiz themed around players who played in MLS. They name footballers and bid on how many professional clubs the player has played for; if you miss, the opponent scores. The episode is mostly banter plus rounds featuring specific players (Romario; Freddie Ljungberg; Robbie Keane; Christos Stoichkov; Brad Friedel) and their club histories, including MLS teams like Miami FC, Seattle Sounders, Chicago Fire, LA Galaxy, Columbus Crew, and others.

Guests

No podcast guests appear. Hosts are Marcus Speller, Pete Donaldson, and Vish (plus Taraja and Vinicius briefly in the intro banter).

Key claims/examples

Romario’s MLS club Miami FC; Robbie Keane’s MLS clubs include LA Galaxy; Stoichkov’s MLS-related guesswork leads to DC United; Friedel’s MLS club is Columbus Crew.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes.

Chapters

0:03

Discussion: Football Performance

Hosts discuss personal football experiences and performances.

“Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call?”
5:39

Discussion: Football Performance

Hosts discuss personal football experiences and performances.

“Fortunately, I was meeting friend of the show, Lawrence McKenna for lunch after.”
7:25

Game Explanation: Biddy Aunt

Hosts explain the rules of the game 'Biddy Aunt'.

“It honestly looks like he's just been sucked off.”
8:01

Gameplay: Players in MLS

The hosts begin playing a game themed around MLS players.

“If anyone's looking at it, I'm looking at it Can I have the gun?”
9:30

Round One: Marcus vs. Vish

Marcus and Vish compete to name clubs played by a footballer.

“but I think Vish will be confident with them.”
11:14

Round Two: Vish's Turn

Vish takes his turn in the game, aiming to name clubs.

“Vasco da Gama yeah Vasco da Gama I could give you several there because he played 85 to 88 2000 to 2002 2005 to 2006 and then 2007 as well.”
14:00

Quiz Banter and Bid Competition

The hosts engage in a lively discussion while competing in a quiz format.

“That's pretty strong Vish Pretty strong It's not seven is it Just let me have it Are you noticing a change In kind of Marcus's demeanour He's looking a bit more confident.”
19:05

Continued Quiz Challenge

The hosts continue their competitive quiz, discussing players and teams.

“It'll make it even more tragic when you stack this.”
28:01

Reflections on a Good Day

The hosts express their satisfaction with the day and discuss various football clubs.

“I've not heard that eh eh button and I thought I'd just like an afternoon without it.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

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5:07Vish: It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Friday afternoon. It's my video. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm Vinicius and I'm Taraja. We can think laterally. Leave it at the door.

5:27Get in your lateral floor.

5:35It's good to hear that again, Marcus. Lovely to hear it again. Lovely to hear that. Is it fair to say you left the studio on Friday in pieces?

5:43Vish: Fortunately, I was meeting friend of the show, Lawrence McKenna for lunch after. Right, okay. And he put me back together. He put you back together. He made you feel whole again. Lawrence has that way, doesn't he? He does have that way. It's fair to say Marcus isn't having the best of times this season after losing two on the bounce. But we've decided to give him a vish. I've lost more of that on the bounce, by the way. We've thrown a vish to the lion. The very meek lion that can't seem to buy anything at this moment. Well, Vish has been very charitable today. Yeah. Am I not the champion? Have I?

6:11Yeah, yeah, yeah.

6:11Vish: Vish hasn't even bothered taking it out of his bag. Right. Okay, fine. Yes, we decided to give you Vish to play next. He's got a chance to end your losing streak. I've always got a chance. As if it's in my best interest to do that. To end your losing streak. In the words of less than jerk, it's like we're headed for another losing streak. Help me. Help me. I'll do my best Each round I'll be naming a footballer Come on then I'll name a footballer And then people will go Ooh Ooh I think that for me One of you will bid On how many of that Players clubs you can name Your opponent Can then raise the bid Or challenge you to name them Only professional clubs count And the player must have made A competitive appearance For that team If you fail to meet your bid Your opponent scores First of three points wins Today's theme is Hey, it's State Siders!

7:06Vish: State? State Siders! These are players who are playing in the MLS! The mother loving suckers! Okay. Marcus? That sounded a bit like Little Luke there, weirdly. Yeah, he's over there. Yeah, but he didn't say anything. Look to your right. I want you to look at that face before we start. Alright? It honestly looks like he's just been sucked off. Oh, dearie mate. He does! You could have picked another scenario. Alright, it looks like he's been wanked off. Slightly cleaner. We'll go with that. Cleaner. Alright then. Marcus, you're gonna start. Go on then. Mitch, you're back. I'll stay quiet there, because I was just fact checking one of the facts.

7:53We're good.

7:55Vish: I'm worried that Vish is looking at your laptop. He's not looking at anyone's laptop. Can I have a look? If anyone's looking at it, I'm looking at it Can I have the gun? Round number one Come on! He has played for ten clubs And his name is Romario Oh! Lovely to hear Romario's name Romario Romie Full name Romania D'Souza Faria Right I thought he was Senior Senator For Rio de Janeiro Rio de Janeiro I thought he might have Played for more than Ten clubs actually I thought he would have been Like 15-16 or something He moved around A hell of a lot Didn't he He did See this is really annoying Because I'm playing Vish And

8:53Vish: And I I have to put in like a higher bid than I would sort of want to, if you see what I mean. Because you're thinking,

9:06Vish: what do I do here? How do you kind of like, because what went wrong last week and how were you going to make it better this week? So to think less laterally. Think less laterally. Yeah. And more simply. Right. Diagonally, like a bishop. Whatever helps me. Right. Jump over the edge like a horse. There's obviously a few. You know, the horse chest piece. Yeah. Oh yeah, lovely. There's obviously a few that I'm confident with, but I think Vish will be confident with them. But with the way Vish... I have to... Is it fair to say that you are a little bit longer in the soccer tooth than Vish, and so therefore this plays more into your hands, so why not be bold?

9:46Why not be bold? Oh man, I... I just... Look at that knob at the end of the table. Let's have your bid, Marcus. Biddy bidi. I have to push. All right. There's no Battenberg stick.

9:58Vish: Seven. Whoa. Whoa. Yeah, well, I... Whoa. Well, I haven't heard what Vish is saying. I haven't heard what Vish is saying. Whoa. Oh, there ain't seven written down. How many have you written down that you're definitely secure on Vish? I reckon there's... Bearing your mind, the seven is locked in. Yeah, I reckon there's four. Evil Knievel over there. No, he said seven. I reckon I've got four. Can I unlock that? Can I unlock? Can I have a triple lock? It's a triple lock Andy Burnham, pension crush. Yeah, but he's on picking the locks. He's on picking the locks. There's still two locks. Okay, let's have your seven, please, Marcus.

10:32Okay, okay.

10:33Vish: Mad lad. So, very confident with the three European sides that he played for. PSV. Correct. Good start. 88 to 93. Or am I getting him confused with Ronaldo? Anyway, it doesn't matter. He played for PSV. That's the important thing. Stop thinking laterally. Barcelona. Barcelona. 93 to 95. That's not longer. He also played for Valencia He did play for Valencia Right In 1996 and 1997 Now this is where we earned the money So because of In yesteryear's football rambles We've kind of kept up with him a bit Because he's obviously a mad career Yeah A mad man And in politics So I actually An incredible goal record Yeah so I'm actually I'm pretty confident with the side he played for in the US It was Miami FC 2006 Well done Marcus Don't start that bollocks done Marcus right last week's show was three seconds long now giving it a bit of tension giving it a bit of gravitas when he played for the Brazilian side who took Manchester United apart in the Club World Cup I think that was Vasco Vasco?

11:42Vish: Vasco da Gama yeah Vasco da Gama I could give you several there because he played 85 to 88 2000 to 2002 2005 to 2006 and then 2007 as well. Yeah. Whoa! He also played famously for Flamengo. That is correct. Marcus, that's one, two, three, four, five, six. But again, though, because we kept up with him, I remember that, but I remember he pissed them all off. Right. Because he went to their rivals as well. Right. And you remember the rivalry because the Fla-Flu derby, and I think Fluminense or another side he played for. Marcus! Come on! Come on! There we go. Back on top where you belong. It's Marcus.

12:24One, Vish, nil. Is that the fire alarm? You might say after the Fla-Flu debacle, he felt Al-Sard.

12:35Vish: Oh, that was the Middle Eastern side he went to. Yeah, I remember he went there. He also played in Australia, I think. He did. Did you fancy having a go at the Australian side? Now that you said that, I reckon it was Adelaide, wasn't it? It was Adelaide! Well played. Well played. Not quite a seven, but he also played for America RJ as well, America Football Club Rio de Janeiro. So well done to Marcus. Delighted. Not a bad start. I'm sorry, you've named seven clubs. Yeah. It's good, not too shiny. Well, again, a player that we've kept up with there. But look. Are you taking performance enhancing Battenberg, Marcus?

13:07Vish: I believe I have, Pete Donaldson. Thank you for that. I think I speak on behalf of everybody who sells within me. We've avoided the whitewash. this is England going to Australia with the ashes, everything else now is a bonus come on let's try by talking about the England cricket team now, well done weak, I like it round number two it's Vicious Turn he's a man who really wanted to be a pilot at one point I believe had great hair, I once went into a barber shop and asked for this hair eight clubs It's Freddie Jungberg Not going to ask for his hair now

13:51Though I might in the future The near future I think I'm going to go six You're going to go for six Out of eight That's pretty strong Vish Pretty strong It's not seven is it Just let me have it Are you noticing a change In kind of Marcus's demeanour He's looking a bit more confident. A little bit. I need to get back. I think I just need to get back to... Right. Okay. Good stuff. Marcus. That's a very strong bid from Vish. It is a strong bid. I'll be honest. He's not going to be honest, is he? He's not been yet. No, no, no. I'll be honest. The nature of this quiz, this specific theme has got me thinking.

14:39It's been helpful, I'd say. Okay. Right. Right. The players who played in MLS. So six is my bid. Yeah. Can you seven, Marcus?

14:51Vish: No, I can't. I'll go do your six. No, I can't. Okay. I'm not quite there. Does Vish ever drop? No, he doesn't. That's the annoying thing. I think Vish is very clear. But on the off chance. He's got a very clear head. On the off chance that Romario's, you know, panics him. Right. Okay. He's got him on the run. I have no doubt he'll get the six. Yeah. All right. let's bitty bitty. Arsenal. Ooh. West Ham. 2007 West Ham for a year, yeah. Celtic. Celtic. He came from Halmstad. Oh, come on. Good one, fair. Come on. Seattle Sounders. Yeah. And I think the other one was Chicago Fire. It's not bad. It's not bad.

15:35That's well played. Strong. He knew exactly his own mind.

15:37Vish: So I remember Chicago Fire. The Swedish one, I'm in an iron of a couple, but yeah, Sounders I didn't have. Two more clubs, one in the east, one in the south-east. Good one. Of Asia. No idea. No ideas. Did he play in India, Mumbai? He did play for my city. You could have done seven. Played for Mumbai City. Well, fair play to you there. I also played for Shimizu S-Pulse as well. Shimizu. Good old Shimizu. Good old Shimizu, for crying out loud. Right. Still not losing, everybody. no that lead was great it was enjoyable but be bold be bold be beautiful would you have done six if I guessed five I don't know I just don't know it's hard to tell

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19:04Alright then Marcus it's your turn The score as it stands Is Marcus 1 Vish 1 Round number 3 11 clubs All childhood Favourites It's Mr Robbie Keane Robbie Keane Okay One of the few players Who have scored In three consecutive FIFA World Cup Final matches And he's a blood redder Of Morrissey Is he? Actually. Apparently so. Apparently so.

19:31Vish: Blimey. Okay. I'm feeling good today. Can we clip that please? I'm feeling good today. It'll make it even more tragic when you stack this. I'm gonna try and do the ball. Wow! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I feel like Keane's a good one to attempt that. Yeah. But, drunk on marzipan. Let's go 11 clubs Marcus Speller Let's Biddy biddy Robbie Keane Wolverhampton Wanderers It's the first one Are you going consecutively? But there's one I'm not sure about So I'm going to circle back to that one Spurs Spurs Spurs They were there Liverpool Liverpool Correct Leeds United Correct Inter Coventry City Oh I like it Now this is where...

20:31Vish: West Ham. 11, Marcus. This is wild. LA Galaxy. LA Galaxy. Quite a lot there, fuckers. Celtic. This is the one I might bugger it up with. Aston Villa? Correct. One left Marcus, and it's not... And I think it's an Indian side. And I think that they're affiliated... I remember this, because I remember seeing the kit, and they're affiliated with Atletico. I think it's 80k.

21:02Vish: Marcus Bala! Come on. We're back in this. All 11. We're back in this. That's really good. So basically, presumably you could have done 10 there. Yeah, I had 10 written down. So there you go. 80, I did have 80k. But that is, but again, that is just, No, no, I didn't. That's just sheer luck. But again, the reason why I went for that was because he's mentioned in Adelaide United and Mumbai. Yeah. So I thought, I thought bollocks. I think a lot of people would eat into that. I think that's a nice one. So I think the 10 would definitely get a ball. The thing that I confused myself with was West Ham Villa thinking they're one of the same and I was like, actually, I think he's played for both.

21:39Vish: That was the only concern for me there. But the ATK, am I right in saying that they're affiliated with Atletico Madrid? Atletico Madrid, Kolkata. Nice. Yeah, but I think, again, that's just lucky that. It's excellent. Thanks. Well done, Marcus. Good stuff. All right, then. Where's this form? This is getting tense. Come on. Marcus two, Vish one. Vish, you're behind and it's your turn. Who? Have you been ooh on? No, I'm not doing it. I said ooh. Oh, I said no. No, not doing it. What's he doing to Tom Jones? Ooh. Ooh. Sorry about all those coughing, guys. Don't worry. I'm not very well. Vish, yeah.

22:15When are you well? You need to know the player, don't you? I'll just tell you when I am well. Seven clubs, round number four. Seven clubs. Christos Stoichkov. Oh. Christos Stoichkov. Blimey. Blimey.

22:33Three. It's a three. It's a three for fish. Marcus, can you do any better than a three? Do I need to pump you up?

22:46Vish: I'll go four. I like it. It's doable, I think. It's doable. Yeah. Yeah. Fish, do you fancy, yeah? No, if you win it, you can do it on your terms. If you want it, ooh, you can have it, ooh. Okay. So it's seven clubs. Seven clubs. Tristel Stojkov. What a footballer. Okay, so Barcelona is the one I would definitely know. So I'm sort of slightly guessing a bit here. Did they sign him from Parma? Is that a right answer? He actually signed from Barcelona to Parma. Oh, did he? Oh, I got him the wrong way around. When that club existed. I actually don't know the stateside club he played for. Right, that's fine.

23:31That's not a problem in this game. And I'm going on assumption here that he played for CSK Sofia.

23:39Vish: I'm going on assumption. It's a right assumption. I've heard on Levski Sofia. Oh, no! I could have had it. Whoa. so I can't think of another bloody four more teams to grab at and if you can't remember an MLS team yeah there are other teams there are other teams to grab at so I'm in total guesswork now I can't bloody think where he went after Barcelona I've got absolutely nothing but obviously the stateside is the clue

24:11Vish: I'm going to guess DC United Mark Wow Wow Wow Wow Well I never How did you guess DC? I thought You've got to have a founding member of the league probably Right Because he would have gone there early Yeah And a lot of the other time I can't believe I've pulled that out of the bag That is amazing to me Who else did he play for? He played for Chicago Fire So he could have had Chicago Fire He could have had Dirkushiwa Resol in Japan Could have had them Could have had them! And Al Nasser as well. Oh! Yeah, I was looking around European stars. Trailblazer? I thought, did he play in the Bundesliga? He actually started his career at three local clubs.

24:54Maritza, FC Yuri Gagarin and Hebrus Hamanli. FC Yuri Gagarin? Yeah. Incredible.

25:01Vish: The US should have taken a leaf out of their book and gone for FC Neil Armstrong. Are you familiar with Yuri Gagarin's life outside of him being a cosmonaut and flying around the Earth? Outside of the interesting bits. He was a lifelong womanizer at five foot two. Brilliant. Inspiration for all the shots. Yeah, but I mean, it was Little Luke. Little Luke's height. But he smashed his... Little Luke looks like he's being blasted into space right now, doesn't he? You can see the G-force on it. He smashed his face falling out of a window as he was pursuing a woman who's folding laundry. Who's a window cleaner.

25:41He fell out the window. Oh, right. Did he make a full recovery? He did, until his plane crashed and he died. Oh, very sad. All right. There you go. Well done, Marcus. Well done, Marcus. That said, well done, Cosmo Marcus. You have made the communist state of my buddy. I'm very, very pleased.

26:01Vish: Well, it's a victory for us all, then, isn't it? It's a victory for us all, really. We're sharing that victory, one might say. All right, then, shall we do a couple of... Well, shall we do one more round? Yeah. Take us out. Go on, then. take us out keyboard cat round number five Marcus six clubs it's Brad Friedel here oh bratters the most dad the most American dad finishing his shift at work coming home going to the fridge having a bottle of beer and watching the game kind of dad guy you gotta remember son I played for six clubs that's what he'd say yeah Don't be letting me take my... Don't make me take my belts off!

26:45See if you'd be naughty. I'll go five. Stop playing with my tools! I'll go five. You're fucking up the yard, you fucking dickers. Sorry for getting in the way of this. Right, sorry, what was that? Six clubs you couldn't name. I'll go five. Five? You're fucking up the yard! You fucking dick! You fucking dick! Just the loss of the accent.

27:08Vish: These American accents are... You fucking Doyle. You are... You love the East Coast when it comes to the accent. Yeah, I guess so. Although, Northeast. Where is he from? I once told my wife, who is born in New York, raised in New Jersey, I once told her uncle genuinely to forget about it. He thought I was taking a piss. Presumably you are. No, I genuinely... I was like, I forget about it. And he was like, funny? Yeah. How am I funny? You think I'm a clown? You find that funny? He was born in Lakewood, Ohio. We're still recording. Sorry. Five. He was taller than Yuri Gagarin. Yeah. Aren't we all?

27:48Even us three. Even us three. Right. Where were we? He's doing five. I'll do six. Six. The full compliment of Brad Friedland.

27:56Vish: This is going to annoy me because I'm the nard about six. But I thought, you know what? It's been a really good day. It's been a good day. Let's not spoil it. I haven't heard. It's been a good day, son. Let's not spoil it. I've not heard that eh eh button and I thought I'd just like an afternoon without it. Let me take you back to your mother. We haven't heard it so far. No. You're not one to hear that so maybe there's a first today. Blackburn Rovers. Liverpool. Eight years. Liverpool. Three years. Aston Villa. Aston Villa. Three years. Spurs. Tottenham Hotspur. Four years. Played for Galatasaray.

28:32He played for Galatasaray for a year.

28:33Vish: These are the ones I had as well. And I'm pretty sure his MLS team was Columbus Crew. Oh, I could have done all six. It was indeed. I could have done all six. Brad Fidel actually started his career at Bromby. Weird move, isn't it? But he didn't actually make any competitive appearances. What was that? 4-2? It's a 3-2. Question mark by Columbus Crew. There we go. I could have done it. Well, there we are. You should have gone for it. Fish got a bit of respectability on the ground. Yes. Congratulations to Marcus. Well, I'll tell you what, I didn't expect that there. You've named all of Robbie Keane's clubs.

29:10Yeah.

29:12Vish: His boyhood clubs. All of his childhood clubs. We didn't hit the bad button today. We didn't hit the bad button today, no. Is that a video? Don't do that. Well, there we are. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network. It's been an absolute pleasure. It's Pitbull time, everybody. And it has added spice, because we've got England tomorrow. How about that? And of course, at 6pm today, Rui Pinto, Footy Leaks Man, has got a big announcement. Liam Gallagher. Great. He has referred to me consistently as a spunk bubble. And perhaps more evidence will suggest that Richard Keyes is indeed a spunk bubble.

29:47Vish: Yeah. There we are, everybody. Thank you, Vish. Thank you. Thank you, PT. Fare thee well. And thank you, Liam Gallagher. Get your pitbull on, everybody.

30:02The Football Ramble is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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From the publisher

Just when Marcus thought the haymakers had stopped, he staggered back to his feet only to get hit with a Jim Campbell special. Gutting.


But every player deserves a shot at redemption, so now Marcus is facing... Vish. Good luck, Speller. LET BATTLE COMMENCE!


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