My Biddy Aunt: Steve Edition

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3:28It's a new Workday. Previously, 27 players who played during the Battle of the Bridge in 2015-16. Oh, that's a lovely one. Between Chelsea and Spurs. Aidan Hazard. Scored a goal, of course. Harry Kane. Absolutely. N 'Golo Kante. Can't have been because he was playing for Leicester that season. I'm shocking at this.

3:56It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Friday afternoon. It's time for My Biddy Ant. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm David Cartlidge.

4:25Everybody, it's Friday. Hey! Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend. Weekend. Party in, party in. Yeah. Yeah, next day. Marcus, step up. I was about to name a place. Step up. That's how the song goes. I don't care. We'll try again one more time. Partying, partying. In my pants. How about that? Disappointment. Welcome back to another episode of My Biddy Aunt. A game I invented, so you can't criticise me for how bad it is. I already know, because I invented it.

5:06Marcus currently holds the belt. Is that right? It is, isn't it? It is. And it even surprised me. When the belt was put down on the table, I said, Oh, it is me. It's you. So David beat Marcus earlier in the season, but maybe you didn't have the belt at that point. That's correct, yeah. Okay, and David, you've got a chance to take it from Marcus, of course. Well, he's already beat me this season. He has? So you should have some confidence from that? He's the favourite. But listen, boys, you wait till you hear the theme this week. All right, boy. Goodness me. All right, boy. Why is George laughing for so much?

5:34Pleased for himself. If you don't know the rules by now, what are you doing with your life? But I'll just recap them very quickly. they are very simple each round I'll name a football player one of Marcus or David will then bid on how many of that player's clubs they can name their opponent can then raise the bid or challenge them to name them only professional clubs count the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team for example Marcus hello under Alex Inglethorpe at Leatherhead yeah yeah not a competitive appearance under 18s only yeah doesn't count yeah Marcus for Fulham.

6:11Yeah. No. Not yet. Not made that level. Not yet. Not yet. How old are you now? Old enough to know that I won't make one. Okay. But hope springs eternal. So anyway, that's how it works. If you fail to make your bid, your opponent scores. First of three points wins. Today's theme. Here we go. It's a good one. Biddy, biddy. Today's theme is Steve's. Oh my goodness. It's quite simply, lads. Football players named Steve. It's inspired by the fact there was a guy on the internet the other day who on championship manager, or what was called now football manager, won the Champions League with Peterborough only using players called Peter.

6:51Very good achievement. So can you guys win a round of My Buddy Aunt for the belt only with players named Steve? What do we think? Let's find out. There are a couple of variations on Steve. Yeah, I thought there might be. Stephen, Stefan. Stefan, yeah. Right, David, you're going to go first. I would say, and I'm going to do probably a ranking of how much of a quality Steve each Steve is to set the scene. I would say, actually, in English football, this is one of the most significant Steves. Okay? I think I know what it's going to be. He's played for five clubs. So a gettable one. A gettable one, David.

7:29Five clubs. Steve Bruce. Oh, man. Oh. Steve Bruce. David, I'm going to push you for a number up to possibly including the number five. How many do you think you can name? I think I could probably do all of these. So I'm going to be unimpressed if you come up short. Three. I think four would be the sweet spot here. Three is quite a basic opening bit, Marcus. Do I hear four from you? I'm really struggling here. Really? Yeah. I was a bit worried when Steve Bruce got... I can't believe... Because I've got all the teams he managed in my head. Yeah, well, that's not going to work. I know it's not going to work.

8:10I'm fully aware of how shite of a thing that is. Would you like to know how many clubs he managed? I can tell you. No, I don't want to know that. He's got 13 separate managerial appointments, but we're talking about the teams he's played for. David has bid three. Marcus, four or more, or let David name them. You should have get four here. Why are you saying that? I'm shocked at this. David, let's get Marcus to name a number. Ah. Okay, I'm going to put a cap on it now because there's listeners out there. There's viewers out there. We need a number now. Can you do four or are you going to let David name his three?

8:43Well, I'm... You might as well guess four. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to guess four. Okay. But I'm not confident. David, do I hear all five from you? I mean, man, it's what he did. No, man. No? I'm going to rely on Marcus slipping up here. All right. Could be a big bluff. Could be a big bluff. Okay, Marcus, then, please, one at a time, give me enough time to let people know if it's right or not. Can you name four of the five clubs our first Steve, Steve Bruce, played for? No.

9:11Manchester United. Oh, is it there? Is it up there, everyone? Yeah. That's one. Which is the only one I'm confident with. Oh, goodness me. Sheffield United. Oh. That would be two of your four, wouldn't it, if it was right? It is right. Yeah. And now I'm ludicrously struggling, which is poor of me. And I know you're looking at me thinking, you silly sod. I'm always thinking that. I know you are. In particular. You've got two. You're halfway there. Now you're living on the point. I feel this is maybe an unhelpful tickle. Coventry City? Coventry City, he says. If it's there, he's three out of four, and he's got one more to name for his first point.

9:51Is Coventry City... Get on with it, Chris Tarrant. All right. It's wrong. I'll tell you what you could have had. So, of course, May and I are not in Sheffield United, but correct. he ended his career at Sheffield United. He started at Gillingham. That was the one I couldn't remember. I knew it was a small club in the down south. Quite famously, I think he might have scored a really brave goal with his head, which broke his nose. So, Gillingham, I couldn't think of it for the life of me. Then he went to Norwich City. Oh, okay. Did you have that one? I had Norwich. Then from Norwich City, he went to Manchester United, which he played for the best part of 10 years.

10:21Yeah. Then he went to Birmingham City. Then he ended at Sheffield United. To Birmingham City. I was always thinking Midlands, a sort of bluey sort of vibe. I had Everton. I think, do you know what? These are quite gettable for people watching at home. I'm a bit disappointed in myself there. It's a point to David. There we go. It's all to play for. All to play for. It's 1-0. There's four points left to go. There we go. And Marcus, you get to go first here as well, more importantly. So I would say that this next Steve is a moderate Steve. Right. But we have been treated to him, I would say, a lot more post-career than during career, bar a few seasons.

10:52Okay. He's played for seven clubs in total. Yeah. We see him out and about all the time. I've actually met him. He's a lovely lad. Uh-huh. It's Steve Sidwell. Sidders. So he's played for seven clubs in a career that went from 2001 through to 2016. So 15-year career, not to be sniffed at at all. And he's played for seven clubs in total. For a little bonus point, actually it's not a bonus point, but just for a bit of fun while you're thinking, how many caps does he have for England? Don't want me thinking about that when you're trying to do this, do you? None is the answer. Never capped for England.

11:29On the 21s only. Seven clubs. Marcus, your first. How many can you name? Ah, this is annoying.

11:38Opening number, please, now. Or I'm going to give the point to David. Five. Five. Very good. David, do I hear six from you? You don't. I'm going to learn slip again. Okay, five. Marcus, we need five of Steve Sidwell, our second Steve. I might have got my tactics wrong here. Club. It could be two nil. All right, here we go. Whatever order you like, How many of Steve Stidwell's seven clubs can you name? You said you're going to do five. Let's hear them. Reading. Not like Reading. Correct. That's one. Aston Villa. Correct. 2008, 2011. Fulham. Absolutely. That's your three. Chelsea. Absolutely right.

12:15That's four. One more to go. And this is where I'm struggling now. Four is very solid. Four straight off the dome piece. Very quick. Obviously, we all remember his move from Reading to Chelsea, don't we? I mean, that's probably pretty obvious. But you've got one of three more to name.

12:32I've got a few clubs in my head. I think I'm going to mess this up. Did he play for Derby County? Derby County, he says. If it's right, it's one each. If it's wrong, David takes a 2-0 lead. I think I've got that wrong, haven't I? Did Steve Sidwell play for Derby County? He did not. I can't believe I've stuffed that up. He did not. Who was I thinking of? Stoke City. That was it. Played for them. Played for Brighton on a few occasions. And he also played for Brentford. For those completists among you, he was at Arsenal, but he didn't make a better appearance. No, I knew that one. And he was at Beveren as well in Belgium, but weirdly he didn't play, I don't think.

13:07Oh, that's poor of me. Stoke City and Derby, I've just, yeah. There we go.

13:16Guessing is for game shows, not your business. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance and IT, with AI grounded in your context to get work done and done right. It's a new workday.

13:58separate terms. Service plan for watch or iPad required edition. Terms apply for all offers. Hey, we're Nick and Jack, hosts of The Best One Yet. Behind every episode, there's research, email, spreadsheets, and our shared Google Doc, the headline hammer. With Google Workspace with Gemini, Google's AI is built right into the premium versions of tools we already use, like Gmail, Docs, and Sheets. No new tools or extra logins, just personalized AI for the way we work. That means less time on the work around the work and more time finding the stories worth talking about. Get AI tools for work. Upgrade to Google Workspace with Gemini at go.gle slash workspace with Gemini.

14:31That's go.gle slash workspace with Gemini. This episode is sponsored by ZocDoc. Have you been putting off a doctor's appointment or need a dentist and you don't know where to start? We've definitely been there and that's why we use ZocDoc. Actually, over the holidays, Michael had a dental emergency and seemingly every office was closed, but we hopped onto ZocDoc, found an in-network dentist, had great reviews, saw real-time appointments available, which was key. It was on New Year's Day and booked an appointment in just minutes. It took so much of the stress out of the already stressful situation.

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15:37round three david you need to join the party at some point um we won't i'm winning yeah but you're not you're doing a Lars Sivetson he's not respecting the community this Steve our third Steve I'm going to term old school Steve so he had a career that was probably the best part of it was well certainly his whole career was over before the ramble started um but he's a he's a pretty big name um he played for six clubs in total it's Steve Staunton oh good Steve though Marcus. Would you rate him as a good Steve? He's a good Steve, definitely. Definitely a good Steve. David, do you rate him as a Steve?

16:15Yeah, he's all right. Part of the fabric, part of the Steve fabric of football, I'd say. Everyone knows who he is. Nicknamed Stan. Oh, wasn't it? His nickname was Stan. David, how many of Steve Staunton's six clubs could you name? I've got two. Two? We don't want to, oi, we don't want to give you that. Marcus, can you do three? You're a knob. I really do think you guys need to be able to do more than two. I know. Well, I'm going to have to go three because I know he's got two. And this is where... So I buggered this up on Steve Sidwell. I should have gone four. I've got my tactics wrong again.

16:47It's a tricky Steve terrain to negotiate. So I'm going to go three. David? Go four. Come on. Can I just say, if I may just interview you... I've got three for Steve. Hang on a sec. The thing you have got wrong is you've gone, oh, I'm going to have to go three because he's got two. No, no, I've got three. What you should have gone is gone. Yeah, but I'm worried he's going to say four now. So that's why I'm sort of giving my tactics away. Come on, do four. Tough guy. Nah, two. All right. He's winning no... Listen, he'll win the game, but he's not winning any friends. I don't care. Don't win any friends.

17:16Bad guy. He's a bad guy. He's a little man's Vish. Honestly. Although Vish is quite a little man as well. Marcus, three Steve Staunton clubs. It's on you again. Let's hear them. So, you know I've got Liverpool. That's correct. Two spells there. And you know I've got Aston Villa. Yeah. Two spells there as well. I love both those places. He went there twice. I mean, to be fair, it is quite tricky after that. Isn't it? For anyone, so... I don't want to be pressing that David Winsbar so early. I think you are. I think you absolutely are going to be pressing that.

17:54And this is just guesswork because, as you say, it's tricky. I don't think he played for anybody big after that.

18:02what's making me laugh is how annoyed you are with yourself it's just because of the Steve Sidwell round I should have said four yeah still thinking about Steve Sidwell come on then can I pull this out of the bag I'd love it if you did I don't think I can you've got listen there's four clubs here yeah they're English football you can name them well come on the community it didn't work for Sidwell let's have another go at the risk of giving David the belt now Derby County what is it with you in Darmie County. I know, they've let me down, haven't they? Did Steve Staunton? Come on. Just say them what we all bloody know.

18:38No, this is my Friday as well. Okay. Did Steve Staunton? We all know he didn't play the Darmie County. Do you know what I mean? Born 19th of January, 1969. Sickhead. In Drogada, Ireland. Yeah, I should have gone for Drogada Town. Well, he started at Dundalk, but didn't make a competitive appearance, so that would be correct. That's why I didn't sign him. Defender, of course. Yeah. Six foot one.

19:12I mean, people may be interested to hear that he won the first division with Liverpool in 1990. Did he really? Did he really? What two trophies did he win with Aston Villa? League Cup? Twice. Yeah. 94 and 96. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember that. What did he win at Derby County, though? Nothing. David Garth. Yeah. Yeah. Poor from me. Yeah, 3-0. Come on, who are the other sides? Oh, I thought it was going to be a bit of a boom, boom, boom. I thought we were going to get a boom, boom. Bradford City, you could have had. Yeah. You could have had Crystal Palace. Yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't know that. You didn't?

19:43I'm a bit confused as to why you don't know that Steve Staunton made six appearances on loan for Crystal Palace in 2000. Four of me. 2000? Yeah. Oh, wow. and Coventry City and then he ended his career at Walsall Walsall yeah never made a professional appearance for Dundalk so that doesn't count so the teams I had I was like was it Derby was it Sunderland the usual ones but a Coventry City would have done me there it would have look you need to save some pride now I do need to save some pride I'd like David to join the party on behalf of the listeners I'm 1-3 now I need to avoid I need to avoid the whitewash as soon as you said Steve Taunton I knew he was going to go to you're up first come on then let's deviate from our Steves and go for a Stephen oh okay seven clubs I've actually met him as well and I've pundit with him once very very nice man I only met him once I was about to say that was enough for me but it probably isn't because he's a very nice man seven clubs at Stephen Pienaar Marcus you're first how many of the seven clubs that Stephen Pienaar played for can you name?

20:43Blimey and if you get whitewashed you're going to have a cold hard look at yourself yeah Steven Pena yeah I've got my tactics wrong so far yeah well I was pushed I was pushed there with Steve Thornton so I'm gonna listen I'm gonna change force David to enter the game just say two I'm going to change tactic that it may bite me on the arse two there you go now David's got to enter the game three yeah no bit so Marcus can you do four I can't do four with Steven Pena would you like him to do three I would like him to do three so he at least earns a point. David, go on, earn your point. Hang on, I'm hosting.

21:24Okay. Welcome aboard. Thanks for joining us. Stephen Jerome Pienaar, born 17th March 1982 in Johannesburg, South Africa. How many did you say? Three? Yeah. Please name one at a time three of the seven clubs that Stephen Pienaar played for. Ajax. Nobby. Good. Good. He's got the point, hasn't he? Everton. Yep. Four spells Everton, weirdly. Yeah. You pressured me into this one, so I only had two, but I thought I'm going to go for an extra one. Luke will cry. Kaiser Chiefs. Kaiser Chiefs, he says. He does say that. I was not expecting that. Congratulations, Marcus. Yes! Why did you not go for Spurs?

22:09See, look. Oh, blank. You just blank every now and then, don't you? I suppose you could say that to me about a number of the players we've also had, though. Now we know why you didn't want to name clubs. Yeah! I'd have known this. What's the star? Never played Cotter Chiefs. 3-1 to you. Yeah, we've got four rounds left.

22:26Never played for Cotter Chiefs. Started at Ajax Cape Town. I thought you had it there. Then went to Ajax. Could have had Borussia Dortmund. You had Everton, of course, at your name. Then he went to Spurs. Yeah, Spurs and Everton were the two. Sunderland. Oh. Do you know what? Sunderland went through my head and I thought, you know what? I've had enough of these tickling bollocks that have failed me all the previous rounds. And then he's in his career at a club called Bidvest Vits in South Africa. I didn't have them. No. So that's the seven clubs. And the whitewash has been avoided. And it has.

22:55Should have stayed defensive, like. All right. Final round. I mean, 3-2 looks a lot better than 4-1, Marcus. We can all agree on that. But it's Davis' turn to go first here. We're going to go back to Steve's. Yeah, here we go. A more modern Steve. Right. But playing in a similar position, you'd say, to Steve Staunton. He played for six clubs in total. He retired in 2010. It's Steve Finnan. Oh, Finnan. I wouldn't say Steve Finnan is one of the more well-known Steves, but he's worthy of his inclusion in this list. David, you're first. Would you like to hazard a bid of the six? So if you get all six here, I'll be very impressed.

23:34I'm not going to get six, man. Fair enough. He doesn't need to. He's already one. Yeah, fair enough. Exactly. What are we thinking? I've got two. Two? Okay. It's a solid, honest opening bid. it's one more than me this is a nightmare from you no it's not I can't think I mean I will have to go three good man David do you want to do four? no I'll just do two okay he's in a position he doesn't need to go four indeed yeah yeah yeah okay so Marcus can you name 50 % of the clubs that Steve Finnan played for I'm pretty sure I know what one of them is but one at a time please three of the six clubs that Steve Finnan turned out for Liverpool correct yeah And now I'm struggling a bit here.

24:17Did he play for Fulham? Oh, you'd have got dog abuse on you. Yeah, that's why I was confused. They've got one more to go. But this is where I'm struggling. I doubt if he'd play for Fulham, I thought he was getting confused. I have definitely confused him with another player, because I wrote down a club and was like, there's no way he played for them. That wouldn't count, by the way. That wouldn't count, no. Do I go for a trope and mention that club I've already mentioned a few times already. Do I go down that? Yeah. It could do that. Yeah. Errr... Finnem, come on. Am I going mad? Can I just say, Martin, before you do this, this is a shambolic attempt by you.

24:55This has been a shambolic appearance. So what I've realised is... Performance has been so poor, mate. So I'm a bit like Leicester City, you know, everybody wants me to win the league, I do win the league, but then the defence comes along and it's like... non-existent. No, I don't think it's that, mate. Do you not? Nah. Up yours. A bit like Gary Lineker, you mean. How do you? You're famous for supporting my biddy aunt. Is that right? And you're associated with it, yeah. Did he play for your beloved Portsmouth? Nice guess. Not right, though. Nice to hear it named. Yeah. He did. Hey! 3-2! Come on!

25:30Moral victory! Moral victory! Last point, the winner. He did. Well done. Who else did he play for? Started off at Welling United, but they didn't play in the professional leagues that doesn't count he then was spotted by Birmingham City went to them did a bit of time at Notts County first on loan then permanently then Fulham five years at Fulham Liverpool went from Liverpool weirdly to Espanyol remember that? oh I vaguely remember that okay and then came back and did a quick stint at Portsmouth I think it was in the year they got relegated out of the Premier League so yeah cheers Steve there we go three to David congratulations again to you to David well done David you get the belt back which is a great thing where's the belt there it is but before you before you cherish that too much should we just take a moment to really contemplate the contribution that Steve's have made to football over the years I think so you're very very rarely far away from a Steve doing something good in football they probably are a little bit underrated and a little bit underappreciated in the game because you've got all these fancy foreign names now that's right don't forget your good old solid Steve and as you said to me before Brexit means Brexit Outrageous Absolutely outrageous There we are Go on then, you wrap it up Well, thanks very much for listening and watching this Brexit edition of MyBillyArts We are still determined to make it work if not for us, but for the Steves out there in the UK who just frankly deserve better They deserve better So bring back Steves I'm going to name my next child Steve I believe David, you're going to change your child's name to Steve and Marcus you're going to have two Steves in the house as a tribute to this commiseration to you Marcus congratulations to you David thanks very much for listening to Football Ramble part of the ACAST Creator Network and we'll see you next time

27:25The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network

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