My Biddy Aunt: Tottenham’s Nearly Men

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3:21Liam De Lab Chelsea I am just going to Chuck Sunderland out there

3:27Pete Donaldson: Armando Broha Chelsea Bulham Everton Yeah!

3:38Pete Donaldson: It's one of those games It's quite difficult to explain But you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it Hello everybody Welcome to the Football Ramble It's the second edition of My Biddy Aunt. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm Vidushan Hunter-Raja.

4:06Pete Donaldson: We're back with My Biddy Aunt again. Thank you to George Jacobs on the Football Ramble Discord for the new name that replaced Luke's game, of course. And if you want to be like George and get more involved with the show, you can become a friend of the Ramble too for just five bucks a month. You'll get access to the Football Ramble Discord when you can chat with us and other Ramble listeners. You'll also get every episode of the Ramble up front and on the continent completely ad-free. And remember, if you sign up for an annual subscription before the end of August, you will get 15 % off. Only one week left.

4:39Pete Donaldson: search patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved now back to the game back to the game Peter he's so excited about playing the game he banged the table with his pen did he really not even my pen it's a nice pen that I was given for this show you've already thrown it on the floor I threw a worse pen on the floor your head's gone it has it already or is it on Peter you're today's referee I am yes referee games master whatever you want to call me don't diminish I'm master of ceremonies okay I'm sorting this out I'm doing the clicks and the bit of this bit of that bit of this bit of that maybe got on me just test my buttons Marcus you beat Jim last week 3-2 you weren't that confident going into it but he it was an unconvincing win it was a if Burnley had managed to turn over Spurs it would have been the situation basically yeah yeah yeah a very defensive display but you managed to sort of nick an easy win I'm thinking more of the same it worked for me last week okie dokie well if you don't know the rules don't worry they are super super simple each round i'll be naming a footballer and each of you will offer me a bid for how many clubs they've played for oh this luke's game yeah it's my biddy aunt sorry i should have been able to tell from the fucking title we went because we bid because we bid we went to the discord we said guys can you name us uh this and you know bought him at first one so um good yes uh yes you can you can bid for how many clubs they've played for that you can name.

6:07Players can either keep increasing the bids or call out their opponent and get them to name their clubs. The football in question must have played a competitive game for that club for it to count, which was excruciatingly important for the last certain Chelsea player for the last game. And of course, if you fail to name the number of clubs you bid for, your opponent will get the point. We'll play the best of five rounds in today's game. It's a good one. It's a contentious one. It's a spicy one. It's going to upset a few people. I'm going to ruffle a few feathers, Marcus. It's players who reportedly nearly signed for Tottenham Hotspur.

6:42Round one. Vish, you're going to kick things off with a bid, if that's all right with you. How does that work? In terms of, like, rumours? Yeah, just rumours. Rumour has it. But did they end up there? Did they end up there? No, they didn't. Round number one. Vish, you're going to bid first. This player has five clubs that you could possibly remember. Or not. Bruno Fernandes. Bruno Fernandes how many clubs has he played for he reportedly could have signed for Spurs but he chose the burning tie of fire that is Manchester United instead

7:18I'm going to go I'm going to go three I think it's strong it's a strong opening gambit from Vish don't do that teeth thing horrible it's not that horrible Alright, I'm a little bit sorry.

7:35Pete Donaldson: I just felt bad. Ah, three. Oh, this is going to be awful. I'm going to get this wrong. You're going to go with three? You're going to have Vish do his three? I'm going to say four. Come on, yes! Because I think he's bluffing. Aggressive, aggressive stuff. But Vish remembers stuff. I've noticed that about him. I know, I know, this is it. And also... Get all this little face he's doing. And also, he knew the stuff to start with. This is the worry. so you're going to go for five no no you do four what alright here we go I'm not confident in Marcus I must admit well get your ding ready because I know Manchester United you can yeah now you went to Italy if you're giving out nails at this point yeah true true I've gone early with the nails it's indicative of a wider problem here when you've got four clubs to name so I Sammy and now I'm suddenly not Sampdoria 2016-17 Udinese 2013-16 and I think come on there's probably another obvious one I'm missing here but I'm not going to go there I think he started his career or very early on at a Portuguese side and a smaller one and it's and I hope I get this right is it Navarra lovely yeah I think that's right it was come on and what team did you miss out Well I'd have said five If I don't remember Sporting Yeah I had sporting For Peter Peter We literally went and saw him play For sporting I saw him play for sporting Don't remonstrate it with me It's not my fault I mean This is what this game does with you I saw that man In the flesh Play for sporting And I went for Navarra But I got it right Judged me on my results I could have gone for all five Apparently Spurs and Finanje Met five times over the years financially was impressed but Sporting wanted more money and Spurs were willing to offer a tale of Zul's time had I got that wrong I'd have just gone just give the goat a fish now I want you went with the less known Navarro which is absolutely awesome Navarro's a nice touch it's a nice touch yeah he's doing it with guile he's doing it with skill I say to everybody oh yeah I saw him at Sporting yeah he's the best player on the pitch could have done could have done five could have done five that's amazing life's full of little regrets exactly right Marcus round two I think you've probably I think it's pretty good that you've started with this one rather than Vish but he's had six clubs Mr.

10:05David Beckham David Beckham? David Beckham

10:08Pete Donaldson: fuck's sake man so it's pretty much a bye isn't it at this point yeah I mean Mr. England himself I'll do all six did you say six you said six I said six yeah yeah I'll do them all I said six yeah alright what question David Beckham he's the most famous footballer Spurs are interested let's start with Preston North End yeah exactly let's just get through Preston North End just keep on play give him the point just give him the point Real Madrid AC Milan Real Galaxy Paris Saint-Germain look they're not always going to be the most difficult rounds that's a worthwhile round Vish Vish that's the equivalent of me hit the ball hits the top of the net goes over I get the point and I apologise yeah well rumours are I'm sorry No, it's fine.

10:55Pete Donaldson: One of our own luck, it would have happened either way, wouldn't it? Yeah, exactly. So, yeah. Rumours of Elan began when he trained briefly with Spurs while at LA Galaxy. So, go on. Give me Ryan Giggs as the next one. Never in for him. Should I do Carragher? Power of Aldini. All right, Vish. Sylvester Stallone? He never played for Everton. He was just in the stands. He played for the Allies, didn't he? Yeah, the Allies, yeah. No, but do you not remember he was in the stands at Everton once? Was he? Okay, right. 11 took a look at him then As a 60 year old man Right round number 3 Vish what have you got for us 7 clubs William William 4 4 You giving us 4 Yeah Can you not do a bit Bit higher Sorry Give me fucking David Beckham If you want more than 4

11:48Hey And on Tuesdays And on Tuesdays

11:52Pete Donaldson: I'm going to have to say five because I know Vischer's got four. Okay, right. Okay. Do you not think this is risky from Marcus? No, I'll give it to him. He's got four. I know he's got four. He's already got the cushion because he had David Beckham. By the way, you are... Who put David Beckham on this list? You're right to be annoyed with that. It's fine. I have no say in what players get chosen. I'll give you the four I have and you can just name one more. Yeah. He really looked at the paper there. I genuinely didn't. I genuinely didn't. Yeah. Okay. All right. Good job you're right like a doctor.

12:24Pete Donaldson: Yeah. You did say Willian, didn't you? Willian, yeah. Yeah. Black Eyed Peas, that's one. There you go.

12:32Pete Donaldson: Right, let's go. Come on. Arsenal. The Voice. Chelsea. Fulham. Shakhtar. Right, so they were your four, right? Or you could be like, so he definitely played in Brazil. It's just, who do I go for? Okay. Who do I take a pump with? See, this could be, could be lucrative. Yeah, exactly. Could we draw some battle lines? I'm trying to rack my brains. Where did Fulham get it from? I don't know. I've got a little tickle. A little tickle. Palmyra. You're in. Wow. I had Botafogo written down. Well, you would have got that wrong as well. It was Corinthians, was it? He played in Russia. Any ideas of the club?

13:13No. Oh, everyone was playing there at some point, weren't they? Yeah, that's true. They had a bit of cash kicking around. And Olympiacos as well. he played for in 2014. A medical was planned at Spurs, but he decided to go to Chelsea while he was at Tottenham's training ground. Oh, you dirty boy. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're a regular listener of the Football Ramble, you'll have heard me talk about BetterHelp and how good it is many, many times. But you don't have to take my word for it, though. If you go to betterhelp.com forward slash reviews, you'll see hundreds of people talking about how much BetterHelp has helped them.

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15:57And for the grownups, Ollie Sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed. Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early. Visit ollie.com and stock up on back-to-school must-haves today. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home.

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16:57Marcus, you're going to be a bit on this one. Eight clubs.

17:00Pete Donaldson: Okay. Is that enough bandwidth for you to be thinking about getting involved with like a five? It really does depend on the name you're about to say. Okay. Charlie Adam Charlie Adam Charlie Sodding Adam See this is the kind of thing where I go I've got nothing and Vish will pull out like seven or something like that Charlie Adam I just want to keep saying his name in the hope it helps me Charlie Bloody Adam

17:37Pete Donaldson: Charlie Adam let me just say again Charlie Adam Harry Redknapp wanted to sign him but missed the deadline by minutes you simply must get your paperwork in good order for the deadline three three okay right I'll do four he's got a lot of gaps in the defence there and Vish's going for four okay yeah this is the poor of me right I'd like Vish to do his four Okay Stoke City Liverpool Blackpool They were my three Rangers Correct You know what I couldn't think of the Scottish side Should have gone for that I had a few Scottish sides Dundee St Mirren Ross County Yeah And Scotland of the M25 Reading Ah fuck I thought Reading Shit How about that So there we go.

18:37Pete Donaldson: Vicious back in. And it would be a moral victory because I do have David Beckham under my belt. So that's two all then? Yeah. Yeah? Okay, all right. As we head into the final round, plenty of opportunities to get involved in this one, lads. Oh, God. Thirteen clubs. Oh, blimey. Samuletto. Oh. I like this one. I like this one a lot. Blimey. A lot of big clubs. Blimey O 'Reilly. Samuletto. Who did Spurs think they were? 13 bloody clubs. Spurs were weighing up a move for Samietto, but they opted to bring in Robbie Keane instead. Vish has got this all day long. Seven. Oh, yes. And he's confident with that seven.

19:25What a way to finish. What a great final round.

19:28Pete Donaldson: He's very confident with that seven. Look, this is proper. You're the heel. He's the face. He's gone through hell and back. He's faced off against your David Beckham nonsense. He has. And he is absolutely turning in the performance of a lifetime in round five. Don't know. Of my biddy and... Stop saying that. Marcus, can you beat seven? Surely. Surely? Surely I can't.

19:54One of the most storied footballers in the world, in world football.

19:59Pete Donaldson: Come on. I know he's confident with his seven. could you do eight could I do eight he's got his pen in his hand he's about to scribble a name of a club on a piece of paper alright I'll go eight yay is he throwing it away listener we just don't know we might know alright 13 clubs do you want to do nine he might want to do nine I prefer to fall on my sword But that would require an extra team Come on you coward No you do yours Sure Yeah I mean I couldn't be satisfied By mine being right And yours And you getting the one you thought you had wrong That's fair right I don't need this I've got more going on Don't put off Don't try and read into anything That I've been really annoyed throughout this show is Vish pushing Marcus into an unfunded almost certainly so there are let's get on with it so I'm suddenly not confident at all so Barcelona 2014 or 2009?

21:22Pete Donaldson: Chelsea yes? Inter

21:29it's good

21:30Pete Donaldson: balls it up already Real Madrid 3 years from 1997 Sevilla have I ballsed it up already Meduja now oh no oh dearie me who was I thinking Real Mallorca Real Mallorca on lawn and also permanently you could have had Espanyol who else did you have so I had Everton yes he was at Everton I think he was also what Angie Makla? He was. He was. Yeah, he certainly was. Real Mallorca. I was thinking of the other team. I was thinking blue and I couldn't decide between them or who was that fancy team that got all the signings? You know, they had a lot of money briefly. Not counting. But yeah, I couldn't decide between Espanyol and Espanyol.

22:19Who else did he play for? So he started, I'll just run through for one. Real Madrid, Leganess, we had Espanyol, Mallorca, Barcelona, Inter Milan, Angie, we could have had Chelsea, Everton, which he did have. Sampdoria he played for. Oh, wow. And Talia Spor for a couple of years. And Konyer Spor for a couple of years. And finally, rounding off a fine career, Qatar SC. So there we go.

22:43Pete Donaldson: Yeah. So, yeah, my guess of a Turkish side would have been Rob. Everyone always ends up at Turkey. But he could have gone to Spurs. But instead, they went for Robbie Keane. Indeed, they did. I mean, a 3-2 win, effectively a 3-1 win. Well done, Vish. Well done. Marches into the weekend. Great work. So there we are, everybody. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAST Creator Network. Make sure you're following us on socials, at Football Ramble, and subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your pods. See you on Monday.

23:22The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

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24:46Life's a trip. Make the most of it at bestwestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps. See bonus points, TNCs, and sweeps rules for details. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast.