My Biddy Aunt: Wonderkids

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3:06Luke Moore: I am so glad I'm refereeing this. Oh, no. Peter Odden Wenge. I'm going to go for three. I'll do four. Oh! Jim. Nope. Yep. I didn't think so.

3:23It's wise games. It's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it.

3:28Luke Moore: Happy Friday, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's time for my video. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donaldson. The Games Master.

3:52Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. It's game time. It's my bloody aunt. It's myself versus the whole of the Luke Nation. Seems an unfair match-up when it's put like that. But Pete Donaldson is the referee for today. So over to you, Petey D. Can I cut in before that and just say... Well, that's disrespectful to the referee. It is. You'll go on my first whistle. Okay. Thank you. I want to start with an apology, actually, to the entire Luke Nation that they've had to wait, frankly, until the 12th of September to hear their ambassador and hero on this game. It's beyond belief that I've had to wait this long to be on a Friday, taking on, let's be honest, all comers in this game that I carry their torch for.

4:39Luke Moore: So why have you not been on a Friday recently? A couple of holidays. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've been running scared, basically. Who's the champion at the moment? Vish? Yes. I'm the lineal champion for Jackson Cyclepedia. That's safe. That's in the back. Safe today. You can't have that today. Do we have two very different kind of little cups and pints and stuff? Yeah, it's all there, mate. Yeah, belts, Peter. We had to invent about four belts last season. Lineal belts. But Vish better come in and defend his title before he goes away for the ashes, because that would be a disgrace if he went away like that and not defending it.

5:08He's not having that as a carry-on, though, is he? But for now, I'll have a little warm-up. Have a warm-up. Yeah. wet your whistle yes if you don't know the rules don't worry they are super simple each round I'll be naming a footballer one player will bid on how many of their clubs they can name their opponent can then raise the bid or call the other player out to name their clubs remember we only accept appearances for professional clubs and the player must have made competitive appearances in order for their club to count if you cannot hit your bid your opponent scores the point first to three points wins the internet is a particular part of the internet where people care about the Ramble, so that small part of the internet, is awash with people suggesting changes to this game and how it should be done better.

5:49We're going through changes. Tribute to the late, great Aussie there. Yeah, he should have gone to the Youngblood. Is that Kelly or Aussie you're doing there? Or Youngblood? And by the way, go to the toilet before. Yeah, okay, fair. But I created this game and it's perfect. So which changes do people want? They want things like, if I say I'm going to name three and I don't, you don't want to make it to the point you have to name a club to get the point which I think just makes it convoluted does make it convoluted simplicity I find especially when you're doing two games with two very different rules I think it's important to keep it nice and simple and different tactics the great thing about My Body Art is you think it's a game about football knowledge when it's actually a game about tactics that's the beauty of it and gamesmanship and community and love and you're about sex amore yeah it's about agape it's football knowledge and tactical masturbation exactly good point on that note Peter back over to you yeah on that note this team is Wonder Kids oh my goodness me what bad timing exactly the ambassador of the Luke Nation has fallen foul of some problematic problematic people presumably some of these players aren't going to be kids anymore though no very much not they've lived a long

7:00Luke Moore: career there we go it's fine don't worry Mr. Ambassador I'm an ambassador for the Luke Nation I realise as I said that do you miss it called the Nations It's a bad week to announce yourself as an ambassador. Yeah, who's the president then? You. All right. Do you have a reception with loads of chocolates? The members of the Luke Nation did vote recently to vote Marcus honorary president of the Luke Nation. They really went. They wanted to see whether it would accept the generous offer. Oh, right. I thought it was a dictatorship. Are there any sort of roles floating around that I can get involved in or a visher?

7:31I thought you were about to officially... I mean, this is the thing. It might be a little bit. Because he would have been promised as the ambassador. I'm the UN. Conflict of interest. Yeah, good point. All right. Round number one. We're going to start off with you, Marcus. Move your laptop because I can't slightly see your screen. Oh, hello. Come on now. Start with Marcus again, as usual. I don't think I've ever started a game. Ever. Because it's always to my left. You should be sitting to my left. Also, the game was named after you. We changed it, though. Good point, actually. After many, many complaints.

7:58Luke Moore: My vidian. Round one. Here we go. Alexandra Pator. Oh, for God's sake. Eight clubs. It's a tricky one to get started. And my pen doesn't work. another conspiracy there's another pen here do you want another pen no it does work give it a lick bought a new box of pens how to ruin a man's Friday mention Alexander Pato that's a really really testy start it is a it's a nice testy start that's the kind of game it's going to be today then we're in for a treat because this is tough stuff bloody Nora it's a good opening I haven't thought about him for years no I'll give you a little bit more time nickname the duck nickname the duck why is he called the duck isn't that just because Pato means duck I think so yeah in Portuguese But which came first, though?

8:39Luke Moore: The duck or the patto? Yeah. Is he named after the duck? Or was he called the duck because that was his name? Oh, was it running style, maybe? Could have been, yeah. Could have been. Or we just thought that, maybe. Press the button, mate, Pete. Just need a number, Pete. I can't possibly just do two. So I'll go three. Okey-dokey. Marcus has gone for three. It's a strong opening, Gambit. I think that's a sweet spot. I don't necessarily believe him, but... Yeah. Luke, could you do four? I don't know if he can do three but the Luke Nation expect a dynamic style of play from me I don't think they want me to be Lars Simmsen they want me to be Luke I'm going to go four because he can't do five, no way no one could do five, I don't think someone in history could do five Marcus, could anyone in history do five?

9:26Luke Moore: Well presumably Alexander Pato maybe not even him though no, it'd be too much guesswork for five, so Luke, name your four which I think you've probably got. I think you're quite confident with this. AC Milan? Yeah. It's got to be one. 2007 to 2013. Spencer Tom at Chelsea? He did indeed. Online. 2016. Now here's the inflection point because I think he played for Villarreal as well. Briefly. He did. Well done. 16 to 17. And this is the textbook definition of being a nerd about football and being able to vaguely remember the club he signed for Milan from. And I think that was international in Brazil.

10:10An excellent opening round from Luki Moore there, 2006, 2007.

10:14Luke Moore: I had Corinthians. Corinthians, you did play for three years, 2013 or 2016. Yeah, so I knew there was probably another Brazilian club. There was also a club in the sort of, I don't know, it might have been like an Uzbek club or something like that. Right, okay. Give us the list. So I'll do it in order. Inter, international rather, in Brazil. AC Milan Corinthians he was at Sao Paulo he played in three spells actually Chelsea 2016 on lawn Villarreal as you said I forgot Villarreal you probably weren't going to get Tianjin in China 2017 and 2019 ending his career in Orlando City oh okay it was a Chinese club on my buddy you do get the old player Marcus will know what I mean when I say this where you are essentially just going to have a good old fashioned guess at a Brazilian club which is Which has failed me in the last few weeks.

11:07Luke Moore: I've had a go with that. Maybe in a few years' time, those kind of, you know, 29-year-old footballers who are going to Mexico for a lot of money. Yes. You'll probably have to sort of remember. Quite possibly. Puma. Anyway, 1-0 to me and the nation. Okay, then. And I'm first this time. 1-0 to the nation. Yeah. Ambassador, the floor. Yeah. Adriano. Oh, speaking of which. Adriano. Another player I haven't thought about for ages. Round number two. Adriano, eight clubs he's been at. Can it really be that many? Can it really? Oh, goodness me. Eight, huh?

11:42Well, blimey. I'm giving you a bit of time on these because it's a tricky one. All right, I'm going to go. Right. How aggressive do I want to go here? A lot of this is about judging Marcus's reaction to the player when you hear him named. Anguish. I think I'll go four. I think I can do four I was going to go three but I think I'll go four I think 50 % is always a strong gambit I think do you know why I'm going for four? I just think it's an aggressive move to start with because I just don't think Marcus would be able to do five and I think that's the lesser of two evils so I'm going to go four if I went three I think he might have a go at four and I can't risk that not when I'm fighting on behalf of the nation is it heavy fighting it's a very heavy shirt it is yeah heavy is the head that wears the crown Peter Marcus Why didn't you wear a suit?

12:32Marcus. Do you know what? I'm going to have a go at five. Good on you. Good on you. Look, you've only got one round to the Luke Nation. You've got to come out swinging. All I was trying to do was pull him out of his little grief hole. And I've done that. Here he is. He's emerging. He's blinking into the light. Yeah. Let's see what he's fucking made of, Donaldson.

12:50Luke Moore: Come on, then. Let's see. Marcus Pella. You having that? Internationale. To call them by their proper name. Yeah. I had that. Two spells. 2001, 2002. 2004. to 2009. Palmer. I had that as well, Mark. 2002 to 2004. You don't hear about Palmer all that much anymore, do you? They went to the wall. They went to the wall. Yeah. I'm quite sure you had a very brief stint and I want you to give me a ding for this. Roma? He did. I had that as well. Correct. Two more to go now. This is where it starts to get... And this is where the rubber hits the road, baby. This is where I lean back in my chair. This is the old guesswork of Brazilian clubs now.

13:29Luke Moore: Oh, hello darkness, my old friend. So, and this is all about picturing him in the kits. Sao Paulo. Yes, on launch. I'll tell you what, I have to respect this. I have to. And this is where there's a few clubs now swirling around my mind in Brazil, as it often does, and this has failed me. But again, I feel like I'm picturing him in a Flamengo kit. I had Flamengo written down. it's a good shout because he played there three times come on 2001 2010 and 2012 that to me is the individual performance of the season so far yeah I want to win this game on behalf of the Luke Nation but I also respect the hustle and I will say that about the Luke Nation as the rhetoric and the volume and the general tone often comes across as disrespectful there is respect within them when it's term which it rarely is any more Brazilian clubs that you possibly could have stabbed in the dark out.

14:28Corinthians was the only one

14:29Luke Moore: but I wasn't so convinced by that. He did play for Corinthians. He did? Okay, so he's basically played for every Brazilian club. That's good to know. Any more Brazilian clubs? You can see here Inter, Roma, Parma and Flamengo. Atletico Parnese he played for in 2014 and also Fiorentina in 2002. So I knew there was another and I had another Italian club which wasn't Fiorentina? So I knew there was another one. He's down as playing for Miami United making one appearance in the National Premier Soccer League. Nipsel. Nipsel. However, the US Soccer Federation does not recognise the NPSL as a professional league.

15:05Imagine if you fell foul with a cider on that. That would have been particularly...

15:09Luke Moore: It's great for the game. Yeah, it's great for the game.

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15:45Luke Moore: Wayfair, every style, every home. Evening, buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. Ugh, I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Could AI help you do more of what you love? Workday is the AI platform for HR and finance that actually knows your business.

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17:48I think this one is going to be a little bit easier for those in the Premier League. and fans of occasional Premier League clubs. Look at you both there. Ravel Morrison. Ravel Morrison. Oh, piss off. Luke Emo, what have you got for him? It's Marcus first. Oh, it's Marcus first. Ravel Morrison. I've never heard his name said like that before, but fair enough. Ravel Morrison. It's Ravel, isn't it? Is it Ravel? A bit of respect for the lad. It always used to be Ravel Morrison, didn't it? Ravel Morrison. Ravel Morrison. I'm not having this Andrew Cole nonsense. How many clubs? 13 clubs. Goodness me.

18:23very any any slightly chubby ex-brow in the Premier League who played in the sort of you know the naughty will say that he's brilliant will say that he's the best player who ever lived don't disrespect him he's been busted for intimidating witnesses watch your step watch your step brother I'm working my shelf into a shooter come on Marcus come on how many can you do

18:46Luke Moore: Ravel Morrison it's a tough one Ravel Morrison oh I've got a belter Yeah. Five. Oh, can you do five? Really? Well, that's what I put out there. Right. Oh, God. I really wanted to say four. Imagine you're walking past a shopping centre disabled beer and someone's car is in there. Outrageous. Imagine. Yeah. That's inspiring me, that. Keep going. Right. Right, right, right. I had five. And I really didn't want to do six. but he's he's made me respect him today already he's made you race his game so rising tide in a way that's a victory for me I wish I had like one more that I could rely on um right I'm gonna go six oof I'm gonna go six six I think I've got six but I'm not entirely sure but I'll I'll stick my chest out and do six right alright name your six you might well have hoodwinked me but I've got now let's have weirdly weirdly I am a little bit worried about this first one because I think he might have been his reputation was so big I think he did appear in the League Cup for Man United I think he did play for Man United as a first team player it's a good memory he had three appearances in the League Cup do you know what I felt exactly the same but I did have Man United because I knew he didn't play for them in the Premier League so I was a bit worried about that so then he went to West Ham three years he's definitely played for QPR he has a couple of times online 2014, 2017 He definitely played for Derby County.

20:25He did indeed. Here we go. Now, I think he's currently playing in the Middle East for a team called Precision. I read this recently. That is a huge shout.

20:36Luke Moore: Fair play to you, if that's right. It is right. He is playing for Precision FC, but they are a semi-pro team in the UAE 2nd Division. That's a tough one. That is an absolute wound up. It's a UE third tier side who is not governed by the professional league committee. That's a tough one to take. DC United was my other one. Did he play for them? He did indeed. That was his last club before Requisition FC. Do you know what I had? I know there's a Greek side. I couldn't think who it was. Did he actually play a game for Lazio? He did. He did indeed. Yeah, he did. I could have had them. He was there for four years.

21:08Luke Moore: I'm annoyed, actually. I could have gone more. Which of the other clubs we missed? The other clubs you missed were Birmingham City, Cardiff City, Lazio, obviously you said, Atlas, Mexico, Ostersunds Sheffield United Middlesbrough on lawn Edio Ardor Den Haag Den Haag and yeah DC this is the problem with your Middlesbrough on lawn and Cardiff and all that there's so many teams just swirl around your head it's your problem with your Ravel Morrison's more much suggest he's only got himself to blame this wounded me I am relieved to get out of that round with a point I've been champion at the bit to be on this game all season and now my confidence is shot to bits well I thought I thought five was quite a grand bid and then you read out those clubs and you think oh actually yeah I like it this is like an exhibition match I mean QPR was one I should have put QPR in as a matter of principle you didn't have them though alright it's me first two one down my god it's absolutely squeaky round number four I think I think this one's a little easier a more present concern Ross Barkley how many clubs how many clubs seven clubs only seven I thought he played for more than that mind games it's ginger and lemon taste those okay seven okay I'll leave the door open slightly ajar for Marcus by saying that I'm pretty sure I can do six oh it's good isn't it I wouldn't say that door was ajar I'll say this now if he does all seven he deserves the win yeah I can't move I can't argue with that can I the adrian performance is top rate if he does all seven Ross Barclays then what could I done the score as it stands 2-1 to Marcus 2-1 to Marcus

22:52I'd be absolutely stunned if he can do more than 6 that's really annoying he's in England in national law true can't have England though

23:04Luke Moore: I we're going to a deciding market you're going to get me to name him I'm very confident by the way I know you are I was pretty confident about precision I thought that was a proper flex I thought that was a real flex I was like oh yeah people are going to love this one they're going to love this

23:22Luke Moore: he got six I'm a little bit concerned about the amount of thinking time Marcus is getting here Peter I have to be honest you're very lenient I don't know I always think you've either got them or you haven't and I think the more thinking time you panic and start you know shank Palmeiras but you know how competitive Marcus is though yes I'm familiar with that if you give him a chance Neil who's message yourself stubbornly he would sit here all day if he gave him the win he wouldn't leave we haven't got enough room on the hard drives Marcus Beller do you want to outbid Luke with a seven I mean in theory I'd love to I would absolutely love to Peter if you're going to lose anyway I mean he's not going to lose anyway it's going to be two all worst case scenario with a game to go exactly but if you're going to lose this round why not go out swinging with an England national Marcus be like a boxer have a round off conserve your energy oh this is so frustrating Do you reckon you could do six as well, do you?

24:16Yeah I don't reckon he got anywhere near it I reckon he needs to just hand it over

24:20Luke Moore: Come on, Spellsy Go on, Luke Do your six Oh, Spellsy That was a bluff So good Chelsea Chelsea, yeah Four years Everton Everton Eight years Aston Villa Aston Villa, correct Went there on lawn And he's still playing He did a season, I believe at Luton Town. Did indeed. I think he went to Nice for a bit. He did. And the final one, which I'm not sure about, is I think that he went on loan maybe to Leeds. He did. It's too odd. Did you have those clubs? Well, I had the five. Leeds were in my mind and I couldn't square it away. What would have been the seventh? Was it Sheffield United on loan? It was Sheffield Wednesday on loan.

25:09It would have been even more delicious. What could have been? Yeah. So I had two questions.

25:14Luke Moore: So Leeds was, yeah, so I would have been wrong anyway. So there we are. Two all. Do you know what? In a weird way, you're quite relieved that I didn't get that because if you thought you could have had it there. Well, in that scenario, either way, you lose the point. Yeah. Because I'd have got him or you wouldn't have got him. Exactly. Two all. A good clean game. Enjoying it. Good clean game. Enjoying it. Everyone's freestyling. Enjoying it. What dreadful player are you going to bring us together to sign my life? Well, he's a young man who I read yesterday It's Gary Neville Am I going first? He's interested in a move to Australia Possibly the first time Possibly for a For a reap visit For a reap visit You don't know It's round number five Mario Balotelli Twelve clubs Twelve clubs Twelve Twelve clubs

26:01Oh my goodness me I'm cooked I'm done here I'm absolutely done

26:13this is an absolute stinker bloody hell

26:22how many did you say in total? sorry I was just googling 12 clubs 12 pissing clubs

26:37Luke Moore: Bloody Nora This is incredibly frustrating

26:46Luke Moore: We need a little drawn Yeah Spit it out Marcus Six Oh really Can't you really do six Yeah 50 % I'm not I thought you were going to go higher than that 50 is plenty I think that's why I've I've bitten off more than I can chew shit 6 and you spat that into Luke's mouth because he's going to have to name 7 I was thinking to myself if I absolutely have to I'll go up to 6 right because I've drawn a massive blank yeah

27:19this is a real problem for me because I

27:28I think I've got 6 but I don't think I can do seven. So then it just depends whether I go on my own terms or not, I suppose. Yeah. Dying your sword, etc. Yeah. Do you know what? I'm just going to go seven and I'll just fucking guess unless he wants to go eight. I'm going to go eight, Marcus. I'm going to go eight. Can it add to the add to the melodrama? Add to the craziness?

27:53Luke Moore: I want to go eight. I mean, eight clubs that Balotelli's played for is a massive effort. it's a massive effort I don't know not the hardest round this game though I would say it feels like a pretty hard round it feels like I mean I made a basic error with Ravel Morrison Barkley was fairly easy Adriano was incredible from Marcus and now you're playing conservatively because of the Ravel Morrison yeah Patto I've got the point I'll go eight oh I love to see it fireworks in a house that's too rich for my blood you crack on alright good on you if you get eight here you deserve the win no doubt now listen I've fought fought bravely and now I rest and there's a big chance you might still win and now I rest win or lose I rest Internationale correct Man City Liverpool yep there's your three lovely ones AC Milan AC Milan Nice yeah that's five all still lovely five you get three more after this that is incredible Marseille yep Marseille oh good Monza oh 7 come on get that finger over the button this is so frustrating get that finger over the button because I'm sure there's another Italian club or two in there a smaller one I think there's a Turkish side in there I thought that too yeah I'm not it comes down to this one club this is it I thought to myself so when you were dilly dilly I was confident with a 6 you said 7 and Monza popped into my head and I'm like right now you're turning I can't tell you how far away I was from Monza really well I now this is pure guesswork and this is so frustrating because I'm sure people are going for crying out loud do you not remember him playing for such and such yeah yeah yeah

29:44Luke Moore: don't show him your laptop he's not don't worry this is really annoying because I've got two clubs in my mind and I think I fear that I've got one you haven't named for sure A lot of angry bees Yeah Yours is presumably The Turkish side I'm not saying The Vuvuzela I'm not saying Nice try I'm glad By the way Pete's literally lost interest Hurry up I'm glad that there were drones I'm playing interstellar drones On YouTube Make him name something And this I'll respect The difference between you and Jim You look at me and you go Nice try Jim gets all offended If I try and do that Yeah yeah Right I respect the hustle Alright I don't believe it I'm going to have to go on he must have played in Turkey Galatasaray

30:29oh no yeah

30:34Luke Moore: please tell me was one of the other Italian clubs Brescia I had Lumetzani he played for them for sure he did play for Lumetzani so I could have packed that one Adana Demi Espor he played for you're not getting that Turkish position he played for Brescia as well oh shit Brescia with the other side it was Brescia or Galatasaray I was lining up Sion and obviously Don't believe it. And Genoa as well. That's for the nation. That is for the nation. That is super hard being gave me strength. I'm gutted. What a great round. Great game. What a great game. I'm gutted. I think you've both come to yourself in.

31:04Luke Moore: I had Brescia or Galatasaray and I went for Galatasaray. Marcus, listen, let me be honest with you. I'm pleased I got the win. But that Adriano round will live long in the memory. People aren't going to forget that. No, thank you, sir. They're not going to forget that. And I'm going to make sure they don't forget that you lost as well. at the end of the season with my biddy aunt do you get an MBA that'd be good yeah it'd be very nice that would be good indeed we'll see well there everybody thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network myself Luke, Jim and Pete are back on Monday ready to react to all the weekend's football make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble and subscribe on YouTube Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts well done to Luke Moore thank you very much well done to Pete Donaldson farewell commiserations to me but well done to everybody because it's Friday get out there and have a marvellous time see you Monday

31:57The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

32:18so you can focus on the can't wait to do's. It's a new work day. This episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties. We just had Lucky's first birthday, and it was so great to be able to go into Michael's and get everything. Of course, I knew they had craft supplies there, but I didn't realize how expansive their party supplies were. And Michael's really is where you can go to get everything for a party, whether you're planning a kid's birthday or even an adult celebration. They've got over 4 ,500 party supplies, more than 60 different themes, and prices starting at just 99 cents.

32:51Plus, they've recently lowered prices on hundreds of items. We found adorable decorations, balloons, everything we needed to pull the party together without making a bunch of different shopping trips. Plus, I always have a good time going to Michael's. I love shopping there. I could just browse the aisles forever. But if you're short on time, like I always seem to be, you can also get same-day delivery or buy online and pick up at the store. They even offer free helium inflation on select balloon styles, which is such a lifesaver, and it was for our party, truly. So if you've got a birthday coming up or just a celebration, remember Michael's Everything to Celebrate Anything.

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