

Football news and debate, centered on England squad selections after the international break, plus Premier League transfer/window fallout (Crystal Palace/Mark Guéhi, Aston Villa/Emi Martínez, Chelsea/Ben Chilwell and Ishe Samuel Smith, Newcastle signings) and related managerial angles (Oliver Glasner, Thomas Tuchel).
None. The episode is hosted by Football Ramble’s Marcus Speller, Luke Moore, and Pete Donelson (with frequent banter among them). No external guests appear in the transcript.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
Introduction of the hosts and today's topics in football.
“You optimize your workouts, your portfolios, and that rando startup idea that hit you in the middle of the shower.”
The hosts open the episode with the date and introductions, noting Ruben Loftus-Cheek's return to the England squad.
“When the paper's crumpled up, it can't be perfect again, everybody.”
Discussing the significance of Ruben Loftus-Cheek's return to the England squad.
“I'm just racking my brains about whether there's been a more underwhelming piece of news to open with than Ruben Loftus-Cheek is back in the England spot.”
The hosts express their thoughts on the upcoming international break.
“that Jamie Vardy is set to play alongside Mussolini's great-grandson this season.”
Encouragement for listeners to engage by signing up for Patreon.
“It's the place to be, other than the Pacific Northwest.”
Discussion about player transfers, particularly concerning Mark Gay and Crystal Palace.
“I've had a banana and a cup of coffee this morning.”
Analyzing Oliver Glasner's impact on player transfers and team dynamics.
Exploring Liverpool's defensive challenges and potential player roles.
“the going rate for an out-of-contract footballer.”
Wrap-up of the discussions on transfers and player status in teams.
“Secondly, secondly, yeah, okay, we are going to include the campaign.”
Discussion on Liverpool's potential moves and player emotions.
“Yeah, I mean, obviously, the slot could improve them, but I still think Gay will be relevant there.”
Exploration of Emi Martinez's waiting game on transfer deadline day.
“It's an Ian McKellen play in the West End where he's sitting on like a park bench waiting for someone to turn up and they never turn up.”
Insights into Russell Martin's coaching philosophy and his impact.
“And you have made the point about Martinez being, you know, I think Vish did say, their most high-profile player.”
Discussion about Chelsea's unusual transfer activities and player movements.
“They have confirmed the re-signing of 19-year-old Ishe Samuel Smith from Strasbourg just 33 days after he was sold to them by Chelsea.”
Examination of Ben Chilwell's transfer to Strasbourg and its implications.
“I think when Maresca came in, you know, he sort of made his feelings clear on Chilwell.”
Humorous anecdotes about transfer day and its chaos surrounding players.
“I'm talking about Mussolini's great-grandson.”
Hear a humorous travel story involving a group navigating airport issues.
“They didn't give us a stamp in the airport.”
Discuss the excitement and expectations for England's upcoming game.
“Explore further at Range Rover.com Come on, England!”
Analyze England's squad selections and the implications for the team.
“I'm interested to see what mad shit Tuchel's going to be up to.”
Delve into the dynamics of the current England squad and player roles.
“One could argue on merit, or one should argue on merit, but Anderson is definitely in there.”
Speculate on the future of England football based on current trends.
“I mean, having your birthday on the 3rd of September is big potatoes at school.”
A humorous discussion about VAR and the absurdities surrounding football decisions.
“There was a guy called Firestick Charlie or something who was caught at some football club handing out cards saying Firestick Charlie.”
Debate about the potential nationalisation of the refereeing service in football.
“I've just been handed some correspondence.”
Discussion about Manchester United's recent issues and potential signings.
“are willing to do so and it's like lads just know when you're leaving also the nerds are taking over I'm telling you I've been warning about this for years yeah but you've got You've got to have a rule, haven't you?”
Discussion around Manchester United's interest in signing Danny Welbeck and its implications.
“And then they signed a load of players to play in that match.”
A look at goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa's journey and his recent contract situation with Burgos.
“Well, he was reportedly holding talks with Spanish second-tier side Burgos.”
The humorous tale of Ochoa leaving to get coffee and not returning to finalize his contract.
“So give us a batch of the Enchiladas that Mama used to make.”

Get the gist, explore an idea or ask about something said.
On Football Ramble, what are the key points of this episode?
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
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3:26Luke Moore: When the paper's crumpled up, it can't be perfect again, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Ruben Loftus-Cheek is back in the England squad. It's Wednesday, 3rd of September. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donelson.
3:50Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. It's Wednesday. The international break is tomorrow. Come on. I'm just racking my brains about whether there's been a more underwhelming piece of news to open with than Ruben Loftus-Cheek is back in the England spot. It's a headliner. It's just like everyone's got new toys and you're not allowed to play with them for a couple of weeks. Peter, I need a new toy. Are you going to think of me? Can you milk me? A World Cup. I have toys, Peter. could you milk me he's right though Mark isn't he we're really excited about all the new signings the Premier League's back and they go we're going to take that away yeah it's Christmas dinner if you've got to eat Christmas dinner before you play with your toys get stuffed or stuffing I love Christmas dinner England have signed re-signed Reuben Loftus-Cheek but I want to say thanks to Fred of the Ramble Johnny Seattle good name I doubt that's his real name oh yeah yeah okay we're more of a Johnny his real name's Johnny Portland Johnny Portland.
4:47Luke Moore: Yeah. That's what we would be. For giving us that intro line, if you want to submit an intro line for a future episode, then become a friend of the Ramble. Sign up for just five bucks a month. You'll also get an extended edition of today's show where we're discussing the news that Jamie Vardy is set to play alongside Mussolini's great-grandson this season. Oh, good. Good. Are we? Throwing that in, are we? Yeah. We had to do it in Uncut. Navigate that minefield carefully. Again, Uncut. By the way, a big thanks. Stick that one behind a paywall. A big thanks to all the new people who signed up to the Patreon.
5:18We love you. It's been the biggest month of sign-ups since we started it. Oh, done. So thank you very much.
5:23Luke Moore: It's the place to be, other than the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, exactly. Is Portland in the Pacific Northwest? It is. Absolutely, yeah. Okay, well done. Good spot. Yeah, well, we've settled that argument for a... What I would say is, yeah,$5 a month is incredible value. It is incredible value. What else are you getting for$5 a month? Nothing. Not in this economy. I spent that on a wafer on the way in. Did you? On UEFA? On UEFA? You're eating wafers on a Wednesday morning before nine o 'clock in the morning. Look at his face. He definitely was. He definitely did. Look at his death. I'm looking down at him.
5:52I've had a banana and a cup of coffee this morning. I'll tell you what's happened this morning.
5:55Luke Moore: I haven't had a wafer this morning. It was a little joke, and I can't believe you've maybe admit that. Okay, but I'll tell you what. There's a little Italian place. You know Marcus gets hungry, doesn't he? He gets really hungry. He does get a bit peckish. You're running a bit late, probably. You're rushing. You need something to eat, and you topped it through a little shop, and you grabbed a wafer. I'm a wafer truther. Did that happen? I think you'll find I had two bowls of cornflakes this morning. Did you? You dirty boy. Keep down those feelings. Oh, no. My boys had their wee bit because they wanted cornflakes after.
6:20Luke Moore: I thought, do you know what? Daddy's getting involved. Now, let's move on. When you're daddy, you can do anything. It's my Wednesday as well. Top her up. Top her up. There's milk left over. Come on. Oh, man, absolutely. What's it for a cornflake? Anyway, right. Before we get to the international stuff, which I don't know why the production team do this, but we're so close to the international break why put some of this Premier League chutney in front of it that's what I want to know I'm going to have Premier League chutney on your cornflakes certainly not certainly not right there's been some fallout with Mark Gay and Crystal Palace and Oliver Glasner people were threatening to walk away people were threatening to be transferred away everyone's staying can everyone be on a brink can everyone be on a brink in their individual brinks I think so if we all hate it it kind of evens itself out as we all stay it is like those crappy t-shirts of end of reservoir dogs but they're just holding bananas yeah yeah one of them ended up in your coffee Peter yeah you weirdo so yeah Glasner threatened to walk away if the club didn't find a top a top replacement right because they did get a young lad didn't they're like no no a top replacement do it on the last day lads yeah exactly and he has to be also any replacement you get in what's not been reported but we can exclusively reveal here now is that they also demanded particularly Oliver Glasner that whoever came in to replace Gay was also an uncle yes it had to be an uncle we can't live an uncle it's an important role no that's true and they couldn't find anyone who had a brother or a sister with a kid and it's a difficult thing to find very difficult at that age as well yeah who is a top level footballer I find it I just I love it every year it's like you've had all summer you've had all summer it's just brilliant isn't it I mean I tell you what Liverpool chance of the run with 35 million for Mark Gaines is that a contract though I know I understand is that like the going rate for an out-of-contract footballer.
8:09But it's not out-of-contract. It's the most you're going to get. Palace wanted 40-ish, 45, something like that.
8:14Luke Moore: Realistically, because they turned down, what, 65 from Newcastle. I appreciate that was in the past. So I understand the whole situation there. But Gay, though, apparently very disappointed about this. He'd had his medical. And again, it was a question of could they get a replacement for him. A Kanji went to, what did he go, Inter, I think. I think Liverpool fans should be fuming with Gay about his medical because he had it in London. He did. What's wrong with the Liverpoolian doctors? People's Republic of Liverpool deserve better You are trying to stir something here I'm stirring the pot The Liverpool doctors might have said there's not that much time left because for some reason our respective clubs have taken bloody ages so we'll just come down to London where it's convenient and the jobs are good Alright we'll do it in Liverpool Street Yeah that's a good compromise There we are What Gay should have said was and can you bring a top quality centre off with you because that is a sticking point here You can understand from Steve Parrish's point of view why he ultimately said no because if you're going to sell probably your best centre-half let's be honest despite the other two playing very very well you're going to sell one of your prize assets and your manager is then going to walk away as well not ideal to me they are much better off if Gay leaves on a free next summer it's going to happen at one point they're better off having him and Glasner for this season as well I guess because if you argue that Gay makes such a difference that you can finish again up in the European positions this season which brings you money in that offsets what you lose in terms of a transfer fee you have a chance of winning that trophy what I think well yeah absolutely what I think is pretty interesting here is the Glasner factor yes or is it the Eric Ten Hag factor suddenly there was a job available in Germany that's part of it but I think there's a three pronged thing here why Glasner's got a lot of power and a lot of sway here one is because they clearly won a trophy for the first time in history under him.
10:08That's massive. That gives him a lot of cachet. Two trophies. Secondly, secondly, yeah, okay, we are going to include the campaign. Two trophies after some poor defensive decisions. For those people who are watching this on YouTube for the first time and you want to know about this show, yes, we are the kind of show that respects the community shield. Damn right. You're right to say that. Two trophies. Secondly, Leverkusen is sniffing around because Eric Ten Hag set off some kind of bin fire there and is rapidly fleeing the scene.
10:31Luke Moore: I know you talked about it the other day. It's just extraordinary. It's extraordinary. The third one is though that Glasner didn't do you remember when Bayern Munich were looking for a coach they ended up settling on 415th choice Vincent Kompany one of the 414 candidates was Oliver Glasner and he turned them down so he's got a lot of ground in the loyalty world as well so he's got a lot more power than say perhaps for example I don't know Eric Ten Hag may have How many loyalty points do you think he's got? Oh no Ten Hag is what he's had his loyalty card taken off him by now he's not allowed in the lounge Glasner's got Glasner's got Avios and Nectar flying out his pockets every single team's watch if you see him in the airport you're getting a free fry up that day big time at least at least you're getting upgraded to World Traveller Plus you can sit in the cockpit yeah three quid off a bit of timber from B &Q beautiful anything Peter or Wicks remember when back in the day as a kid you used to be able to go into the cockpit on the flight they used to let you in during the flight Yeah, they used to let you in.
11:33Luke Moore: Great days. You get a little pin badge. Yep. I didn't get my pin badge. Okay. You want to inquire about that? Yeah. I did have a little go, though. Did you? Yeah. Just say it's turbulent, Captain. Marcus has been dragged out by his feet and screamed, give me one loop-de-loop. One loop-de-loop. I just want to land. Where did you get that box cutter from? Yeah. Oh, dear. Well, anyway, Oliver Glasner is now a pilot. I don't know where we're going with that. But he's piloting Palace this season. He is. That's important. But Mark Gay, he can also, I think Pete said this yesterday, and it's an absolutely spot on point to make that Gahey now is going to be the main man because you know other big characters of Left Palace the main man in a World Cup year which is important for him so he can get the best of both worlds he can also take as I mentioned yesterday loads more wages if he moves without a transfer fee so he's sitting pretty he can't believe his luck he's like a dog with two dicks he doesn't have to go in for a medical for another season which is nice I imagine he doesn't like the leg touching does he have to have blood taken?
12:30is there a blood drawing involved yeah there probably is a blood drawing involved
12:31Luke Moore: if you don't like your leg being touched you cannot be a professional no no that's true I always feel like with the medicals and I'm simplifying it here and there'll be people who know more well you're a populist leader bearing your mind on the Luke and Pete show you've had three weeks of GPs getting in touch because you said that it was an easy job yeah Marcus I've been bombarded it's been brutal it's like me and the Liverpool fans yesterday it's been a real effort do you know what it's felt like opening the Luke and Pete show emails and felt like looking at your exam results. Yeah. Or getting a bill for the post.
13:02I had no idea, G. Well, they've clearly got enough free time to listen to the Loom Beach show. All ten of them. Get stuck in. Get stuck in. No, I was going to say that whenever I watch a medical, it just seems to be them on a treadmill with those stickers on them. Why are you watching medicals?
13:16Luke Moore: Why are you watching medicals? Ramadrid showed them. Oh, do they? I thought it was some sort of pervy. The last one I saw was Bellingham's, I think. Oh, okay. Lying on the bed with loads of stickers on him. Or getting on the treadmill with loads of stickers on him. That's all it is. is that all you've got to do to pass it Gaye's come out of here smelling the roses well he's not smelling them because apparently he was very very disappointed about this but he's just got to wait it's because he's mentally past Palace he's just got to wait indeed but I think though that again if you've got the chance to go to Liverpool and you think okay well maybe it's six months or probably more likely a year as you say there's no guarantee I'm not I don't think injuries and so on I'm fine there's that but of course there's no guarantee and I think that when you've seen Eze go you've won those two trophies he would have left on such a high scoring a contender for goal of the month yeah that social media farewell video was leaked the video was done and I think emotionally it's it's it was all it was all there for him so could Liverpool move on by the time next season comes around emotionally I don't think they will emotionally to a different footballer quite possibly absence will make their heart grow fond of surely possibly if Liverpool continue not being brilliant at the back although they're still the best team in the league blah blah blah which Which, I don't...
14:26Luke Moore: Yeah, I mean, obviously, the slot could improve them, but I still think Gay will be relevant there. Because he's such a quality defender. I also saw someone, I think one of the Liverpool correspondents for The Athletic, making the point off the back of the story that, you know... And, you know, they've always got... Andy Robertson can deputise there. It's not the same, is it? Not the same, is it? I mean, he can't. It's like your mum saying, you can't go to the ice cream van, you've got to choc ice in the freezer. It's not the same. It never will be the same. No, absolutely not, no. And also, as well, I mean, Gay, that's just how it is.
14:54Luke Moore: you know Parish has got to make the best decisions for Crystal Palace and if he thinks we're going to lose Gladys he's got to do it I once I won't say who it was I'll say don't worry when I work it out I once had a very brief chat with the CEO of a big not the biggest but a big Premier League football club Radford and I asked him about a particular player Radcliffe no Karen Radford isn't it a Premier League club I always get emails from her PR going do you want to talk to Karen Radford no Mansfield Town exactly exactly they're not Premier League are they Premier League in my heart they're not Premier League and I've also said he I've also said he was the CEO in the Premier League in Pete's heart and in reality yes and I asked about a particular player who had been agitating for a move and he said that that particular player even the manager was kind of saying you know we can't you know he's putting a shift can't really sort of get in his way and there was there was pressure because apparently Gay's teammates were even a bit upset for him and now they say there's tension and so on and he said well I have to make the best decisions for this football club and these are the tensions I don't want to talk about Isaac which has been done to death and you spoke about it yesterday but there's all sorts of sides to this so do you take the side of the play it's a mishmish one might say Newcastle the club didn't handle themselves particularly brilliantly maybe going public and so on and so forth whatever one may think but the fact of the matter is Gay is going to be playing for Crystal Palace for at least half the season we would imagine it's the full season and that benefits the England team baby there we go you see we get there in the end we get there in the end now let's move on to Aston Villa they said they're happy to continue with Emi Martinez this season after his prospective move to Manchester United not was sterilised this story was amazing I'll tell you why Marcus because if you read the minute the kind of the breakdown the minute by minute if you like of this saga it involves for those of you who have not seen it it involves at one point on deadline day Emi Martinez sat at Bodimorheath Training Ground just waiting for the phone to ring and it never rang.
16:57It never rang. It's like a play. It's an Ian McKellen play in the West End where he's sitting on like a park bench waiting for someone to turn up and they never turn up. He's waiting for Godot.
17:08Luke Moore: It was the opposite of Lucas Packeta who picked up the phone and threw it away. Emi Martinez was just like, come on. Can I have that phone? Yeah, exactly. Have you got any minutes on that? If you're waiting for a phone call, would you not be quite paranoid that the Wi-Fi wasn't working? Yeah, I think he was. all sorts I think he was and the story ends with him I think quite tearfully jumping on a plane to South America for Argentina qualifiers yeah I mean that's to be fair that's a good way to get your mind off things and then and then Tokir come along and say we'll have you and he's like I don't want it I don't want it may not have their mind not phoning him he actually wants to go I don't know it really has been a bit of an illness over the summer months footballers wanting to go to Man United I think we should be staging interventions at this point Also, Emi Martinez, one thing I learned about that whole thing is Emi Martinez is the highest earner at Villa.
17:57Oh, really? He signed a really big deal not that long ago. Yeah, not that long ago either.
18:01Luke Moore: Yeah, it's mad, isn't it? And you have made the point about Martinez being, you know, I think Vish did say, their most high-profile player. There are two ways about that. So I think all these things considered, like they are happy for him to stay, but I think they were kind of reluctant. Yeah, he's going to go, maybe there's a wage bill thing there. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. blah so I think it was kind of like yeah but if alright if you've come back then fine there's still a place for you in our hearts and our team and we're all quite we're all a little bit frightened about what you might do so we just need to carry on I mean he wouldn't get away with that jepper in Turkey would he he got away with it when the private jet was running in Qatar but I think they'd encourage it and then they'd punish him the mob rule would punish him now that Mourinho's not there I mean imagine him and Mourinho teaming up yeah so I think maybe that's why he's like is Mourinho still in check not interested what's absolutely terrifying about that and we haven't talked about this much is that now Mourinho is technically at large.
18:54Luke Moore: Yeah. Oh, yes. Absolutely. At least when he's in front of Bache or wherever he's in the room next door. You know where he is. At least for a couple of days a week. Yeah. Yeah. You know where he is. Yeah. A couple of hours. But now he could pop up anywhere. Oh, he could. Do you know what's going to happen? He'll be at Craven Cottage in the posh seat soon. He loves it there. He could be. As we're recording this now, there are people at Sky Sports frantically are, the next Monday Night Football is on this date. Come on. I do. 100%. I've watched the whole thing for once. Yeah, yeah. I'd watch it. It's too long.
19:25The show's too long. Did you watch it when Russell Martin was on that time? Oh, my God. It was pretty good, to be fair. The thing about Russell Martin is, and we're digressing here, and that's fine, because in a minute we're going to have to talk about some 19-year-old going from Strasbourg. But before we do, the thing with Russell Martin is, and I should have been more balanced about this, I said that he's taken the dirty Southampton coin and therefore he can never be respected again. And I think Rangers is showing that. But there's a lot to like about him. his hair if you look about look at how he conducts himself his personal life and stuff he's actually quite an interesting guy yeah I agree with that quite a well educated guy environmentally conscious you know that kind of stuff but he's good on Monday Night Football from memory because he's got quite a clear philosophy that he really believes in
20:11Luke Moore: and I think when you have that kind of viewpoint that you stick to it's quite interesting to hear about so you should say he should start a political party no I'm saying that Monday Night Football should not be six hours long. Fair enough. Now then, Chelsea. They have confirmed the re-signing of 19-year-old Ishe Samuel Smith from Strasbourg just 33 days after he was sold to them by Chelsea. What's that about this one? They've immediately loaned him out to Swansea City. It is the most Chelsea story. I mean, we know that they are, they love a sale and they love a buy. Well, the reason I was going to peak for it.
20:43Luke Moore: They are like stock traders, aren't they, with players. But the reason I was going to peak for this is because around, January each year. Pete does do quite a lot of chicanery. No, chicanery and moving around to solve some financial problems. Yes. Because Her Majesty's Revenue and his Majesty's Revenue and God bless them. Talk about payment plans. Yeah, they are very interested in perhaps some more creative ideas you may have around what you're doing. FSR. When does the dance officially reopen? Is it like in the mid-January or do you go from the 1st of January? It's PSR. It's peak sustainability.
21:21It's a rolling issue I have with the government. So would you think about perhaps moving a 19-year-old player from one part of your business to another? Yeah, I think so. I mean, aren't there rules about this? I think there probably are.
21:34Luke Moore: Because Todd Bowley is also... You can't stop us. We've just sent him to Swansea on loan. We've done it. Yeah. It's technically a holiday. It's technically a different country. Yeah, Todd Bowley's one of the big wigs at Strasbourg, of course. He is. That's exactly what makes this stink even more, doesn't it? Let's be honest. Just in case anybody hadn't picked up on the stench. Yeah. There it is right there. Chelsea have also sold Ben Chilwell to Strasbourg on deadline day. You're sad about that, are you? Well, I was a part of the free Ben Chilwell movement. I know you were, yeah. You know, the Raheem Sterling one was a waste of time when I found out he was still the top owner at that club.
22:08Luke Moore: 325 grand a week. Yeah, yeah. For nothing. He's not doing anything. Get there early for that, Raheem. You put the cones out at least. At least put the kit on. not like John Terry is he not even in the bomb squad room I don't know where he is he's renamed that the Raheem Sterling suite Fulham were interested in him and I think Fulham went not at that price steam came out of their ears but are you willing to run are you willing to you know it's such a madness anyway we're not talking about Sterling he's still at Chelsea incredibly but yeah Chelsea sorry not talking about Sterling but just so I really want to make this clear there was a lot of coverage about the transfer window this summer Not one line about Sterling.
22:49I know, it's crazy, isn't it?
22:51Luke Moore: Crazy, crazy. I'm going to ground. You don't need to. No one's going to come in here. It's such a shame, though, because... Anyway. But Chelsea, yeah, Ben Chilwell's gone. He needed a move, let's be honest. He was in the bomb squad for a while. I think when Maresca came in, you know, he sort of made his feelings clear on Chilwell. He went on loan to Palace last season. And I did wonder, why is he going to Strasbourg? Oh, yeah, Todd Boley. But Rosinha's there in charge. Yeah. And apparently he very much sold his dream and everything to Ben Chilwell. And Ben Chilwell, they're in Europa Conference League.
23:21Luke Moore: Strasbourg are on a bad side. They finished seventh last season in Ligo. And it was from second to seventh, because first is obviously wrapped up. It was fairly close. I always get the sense that Strasbourg's one of the cities that could go on loan to Germany. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think it probably has. Yeah, and it sounds like it's Germany. Sounds like it's Germany. We're going to loan you out to the Bundesliga this season, chaps. There'll be many a person on some kind of outlet who would have confused Strasbourg as being German rather than French. See, I've never had to meet them.
23:43To me, it's always been France. Well, good for you. Good on you. And I'll find anyone who says otherwise. What Ben needs to do on his way to Strasbourg is pop into one of those massive French supermarkets and quite simply purchase a new knee. Yes. If you do that, the story can have a happy ending.
23:58Luke Moore: Or go to a service station and have a very interesting experience while doing a jobby. Is that what you did? They've got no pots... What do you call it? No toilets. No toilets. It's a long drop. It's a long drop. It's not everyone, though, is it? A lot of them. A lot of them. Both producers shaking their head. Is that not a thing? It's not at the corner of my eye. Is that not a thing, France? It is a thing. It is a thing. I'm not denying it. I am. I tend to avoid all things French. I don't know. Do you? Yeah. Is that why you... No. I don't even know what he means. By the way, on that. Go on. Not on that.
24:33Let's move on. Okay, all right. Let's move on. Come on.
24:35Luke Moore: I'll do it later. I'll do it later. All right, I'm cut. You're on cut. I'll do it later. I'm talking about Mussolini's great-grandson. I want to complain about never being put on a Friday show these days. Why is that? I don't know why, but I feel like... I'll have a Friday. Do you know what I feel like? You know what I feel like? Sir Ed Davey. You've got Farage over there. He's on Question Time fucking every other week. He is, isn't he? Yeah. I never get the nod these days. Oh, dear. The regime don't like it. Carry on. Greens have got a new leader, though. Yeah. Bit of a madhead, apparently. Now, Newcastle United's new signing, Nick Volta-Mader, he's very much German, and he's told their club media that his favourite German player of all time is Kai Havertz underwhelming he has a very different rep in his country doesn't he Kai Havertz isn't he oh fair enough scored a win he did yeah which Ben Chilwell played him by the way practically David Beckham isn't he maybe not that far but do you remember when Erling Haaland said his favourite player was Michoud yeah that rings a vape I remember that season at Swansea I'm enjoying scored the opening goal of the Premier League season in 2012 oh he's great he's absolutely cracking I think he might have done.
25:40You know that really tedious thing that people do online about the streets won't forget? Right. Michu was voted the most streets won't forget football. Nice. I like that.
25:50Luke Moore: Oh, interesting. Johan Wissler moved on deadline day to Newcastle United and that was completed with 30 seconds to spare. Yeah. He was wearing an Indiana Jones hat at the time. He drove there himself, as we said yesterday. Yeah. He looks very old, Johan Wissler. Do you not think? He's very tired. Well, after what happened, he's driving. Probably all that driving, isn't he? if I photographed you after you drove all the way to Hartlepool on your own and then had to witness the euthanising of a horse you wouldn't look great in a photo either no it's a good point actually I'd feel sad about the horse I think probably but you don't look great now no I know and you've had a lovely coffee I am dressing I am dressing like Nick Valtomada though which is the main thing Nick Valtomada isn't that far away from the tallest man in Germany I looked this up yesterday alright I'm not sure why but German the German The tallest man in Germany, I think, is seven foot three.
26:41Right. The current living tallest man in Germany.
26:44Luke Moore: What is he, six foot six? He's a fair bit away. Yeah. Pete and I are closer to your height than he is to that guy's height. That's not a talking point, is it? I'm just under six feet and you're both five foot five. Five foot five. All I'm saying is that you just said, oh, he's not far off, and I'm saying, no, he is far off. Okay. I think he's giving Kevin Keegan, Kill Klein vibes. Oh, there you go. Living on a house sport. driving a Dacia Duster to training. A 90s Dacia Duster. Do an impression of Finchie doing the advert for the Dacia Duster. Dacia Duster. Isn't it the Duster? The Duster. Nick Voltemade does the job.
27:21He called the linesman an egg.
27:23Luke Moore: I want to go back to Johan Wisser because apparently he neglected to sign a crucial document and it fell to one of his representatives to sprint through Newcastle's training ground to find Whissa and get his signature. Right, okay. I mean, that is... It just seems... Why is it... And I'm going to use the reference that Jim doesn't care for. Keystone Cops. Why is it... Oh, it's Dix. What I would ask is why, given that the representatives in question really don't have an awful lot to do outside of this stuff? Yes. Why are they getting this wrong? It's one contract a season maximum, isn't it? Yeah.
27:57Luke Moore: It can happen. I was once nearly deported from a country because apparently I didn't sign something. A group of us didn't sign... Which country? It was a stamp. Britain. One that shall not be named. Okay. Okay, I see. Russia. Not Russia. Was it Russia? Yeah, we talked about 21 years ago. Right. They didn't give us a stamp in the airport. It was their mistake. They didn't admit that, presumably. Fortunately, we had a very strong Northern Irish woman with us who could speak Russian and eventually talked them around. Good. So, you know, we're a weapon of our own. Thank you. There we go. Right, coming up after this, Tommy Tewks is getting the band back together.
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29:48Whether you're traveling, exercising, or podcasting, the best business news ever, Liquid IV makes it easy to stay hydrated wherever life takes you. So shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back to school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients.
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31:05Come on, England! Can you tell us something your mum doesn't know?
31:13Luke Moore: That noise can only mean one thing. Yeah, it's good for it to get an air. The only good thing about it is that it really makes me happy. We've done 26 minutes of avoiding talking about it and we're here. Not excited about England and Andorra? I'm interested to see what mad shit Tuchel's going to be up to. Well, getting Ruben Loftus cheek back in there. Seven years after his last cap, he's going to go back ten caps. I think what's happened here is that the people around Tuchel have said, jury's still out on how you're doing so far, Thomas. You need to give him a bit of red meat. Give me the phone.
31:42Give me the phone. I'll get Ruben on the blower. Give me the half-brother of Carl Cot.
31:47Luke Moore: There you go. Apparently, back in the day, obviously Thomas Tuchel worked with him at Chelsea. Apparently, he likened him to Michael Ballack. He's a very versatile footballer, but he just can't stay fit. So it's not one for the future, is it? That's spot on. That's spot on. When he's going... Because he's 29 now. Which is wild. I mean, that is amazing. That's an amazing age. I have no idea he was anywhere near that. No, I didn't think so. But when he gets going, he's a roller. He's an absolute roller. The problem is, he's never at a quick fit. Yeah. And that's the amount of games... It's twice you've made a quick fit recently.
32:22it is isn't it so he's like just for clarity there's a quick fit at the bottom of my row right and I have to walk past it quite regularly and so it's always in my mind do you do the little
32:31Luke Moore: dance and song I don't but I would also say do they there's not really any other high street adjacent place like that no quick fit's by far the most well known one some of them do MIT some of them don't that's the annoying thing oh is that right okay this one's got a big MIT sign outside we're digressing again Loftus Cheek it's England week if you look at the record the amount of football he's missed it's amazing really because his first season at Milan was promising but last season he couldn't get going but he started well this season but it's one of those things where it's like you want it to be more even how promising it becomes you're still thinking it's more promising than it actually is because England play abroad you're excited that this new sort of age of new generation of footballers going abroad and having a good time 29 29 Marcus an injury prone Marcus he's 29 and a half as well he's nearer to 30 yeah I mean he's not as old as Jordan Henderson is he?
33:22Luke Moore: No. Oh, that's fine. That's the barometer, is it? Oh yeah, he's still in there anyway. Marcus, how about the man who got sent off for two foot in Ruben Loftus-Cheek in the Italian league, Dele Alli? Oh. So he's... And after that, Ruben Loftus-Cheek said, didn't he, after that... I'm going to have you. You know, he messaged Dele Alli and said, I'm really sorry that you got sent off. I only stayed down because I was really tired and it made it look worse. I don't think Dele Alli's an option Pete at this point apparently every morning on the phone who knows he's clubless he's clubless and every morning he's got a what do you call it a reminder saying he wants to be in the World Cup saying World Cup 2024 26 yeah 24 would be weird that's the one I would have well he Remenovsky replaces Adam Morton who's withdrawn from the squad with an injury which is particularly annoying because I think a lot of us wanted to see Walton playing for England and give a bit of balance to that midfield but obviously Tuchel, as I say, worked with Loftus-Cheek at Chelsea, and it seems a while ago now, because it was, and very much rated the player.
34:28Luke Moore: He's called him up, it surprised a lot of us, but he's in there. Gerald Kwanza has also been called up as a late addition to the squad. What a week he's had. Eric Ten Hag, his boss, is sacked, and he's been called up. Recalled for the England squad. My goodness, Gerald. Lovely old times for him. He, of course, was in, you know, he's been in previous England squads before. The uncapped duo of but Elliot Anderson and Jed Spence have been called up the squad for the first time as well. I think Spurs fans, a lot of them will be pleased to see Spence in there. Elliot Anderson, though. Anderson's had a great start of the season.
34:57Luke Moore: Come on. A good player. I think we're pleased about Anderson. I think a lot of people, especially Forest fans, of course, they see him week in, week out. But very much, I mean, they're all there. One could argue on merit, or one should argue on merit, but Anderson is definitely in there. And that's the key point, isn't it? We can have our opinion about it, and obviously we will, because that's our job. but Thomas Tuchel knows obviously well used to the attention and to the pressure he knows ultimately the only thing that's going to be judged on is how he performs next summer and if he feels like he has to pick certain players to get him towards that that's what he's going to do I feel like and I know we're going to Marcus we're going to talk about this in a bit more depth tomorrow I feel like it's been a bit scattergun difficult to work out what's happening I feel that as well a bit like a half time loads of subs when Sven used to do that in friendlies lovely for him to get a mensch Lovely.
35:44Luke Moore: God rest him. The late great. But it was sort of seven or eight subs and you kind of thought, well, this is a whole... It's like a trial. It's like you've gone down to trials. Or you're just trying to reward players to give them a few minutes. But I think Jed Spence... One of the biggest problems about Spurs last season was, of course, that they couldn't get their first choice back four together often enough, right? When Jed Spence played, he was good. He's had a good start to this season as well. and also his journey is a really interesting one because of course he comes in I think under Conte from Forrest and Conte doesn't want him and he never gets he never plays and then he's kind of really I mean what can't be undersaid is how hard Spence has worked to get himself back into this position and I think he deserves a huge amount of credit for that and I think the England squad call up is a great reward for him and he deserves it Elliot Anderson just a really good busy player I saw some stats around Elliot Anderson's performance in the 3-0 home defeat to West Ham.
36:46Yes. And his statistics were extraordinary. I know the way the game went. West Ham scored a lot of goals late on. It was, you know, the scoreline was the scoreline. But Anderson was kind of doing everything. Yes. And so I think that is, clearly, if you're going to be this kind of, not a Swiss Army knife in terms of different positions, but a Swiss Army knife of what you bring to a specific position, I think he deserves it as well. I think it's a really good thing. Also as well,
37:10Luke Moore: I mean, the midfield balance. I think we want to see Rice play the Arsenal role, more like a number eight. And so you need someone in there who's actually going to help out defensively. So I think... Yeah, and I just think the profile of midfield in this squad, Henderson sticks out like a sore thumb. But perhaps Tuchel just feels like, look, I'm German. I don't know the England tradition and team and squad intricately. Of course he would have done his research. I mean, and he's managed here. you know a bit more yeah but if you learn a foreign language for example as an analogy and you're fluent and even if you immerse yourself in a culture you're never a native speaker so maybe he sees Henderson as this kind of conduit and we talk about well he does and that's why he's in there but what I would say is when it comes to World Cup time all those places are precious and it may well be he can't afford to give him that but he's look the problem is he fucking plays him that's the problem yeah Put him in as a coach Put him in like Becker was in there that time Henderson is clearly he's been called up to the majority if not all of Tuchel's England squads he's involved he is Tuchel wouldn't be doing this I just find it interesting that Southgate obviously knew and it's Gareth Southgate's birthday today by the way happy birthday happy birthday many happy returns Gareth just do it down the barrel do you want to do a message to Gareth many happy returns Gareth don't eat too much cake I'll do one to you Gareth you're such an alpha clearly because you've been born so early in the school year yeah that people would have respected you.
38:42I mean, having your birthday on the 3rd of September is big potatoes at school. And that tells us why he's such a well-respected person.
38:49Luke Moore: He's got a new BBC show coming soon. There we go. These are the rewards if you nearly get us over the line. Get us to the line. Show us the line. Now go on, explain what the line is. Over to you. We're a nation, and he's led us to a beautiful pool of water, but he can't make us drink. Can he? Because that is a tradition. Can he make us drink, Marcus? No, he can't. But Southgate obviously saw all these leadership qualities in Henderson, blah, blah, blah, and didn't take him to the Euros in 2024. And so I find it incredible that Tuchel's gone back. We've talked about that. We'll continue to. Peter, I want your thoughts on this.
39:27Luke Moore: John Stones has received his first call-up since Tuchel took charge. That was a matter of time, of course, and a matter of injury. Tino Livramento's in there. Tino. Tino. He has started the season very well. I think me and Andy both agreed that it was pretty poor he was pretty poor at times last season so his England call-up didn't really make all that much sense but it makes more sense at this point in time in the start of September what a long throw he's got on him what a long throw as well somebody said like he made quite a good point he's more naturally suited to the right because he's right footed but because he has to concentrate so much on the left he's much better do you know what I mean because he's just on all the time he's like I'm going to concentrate on what I'm doing well yeah I mean obviously did a good job in the cup final down that side that's why I jammed cigarettes into my arm during the ramble never admit that again and obviously won the under 21s Euros that lineage is still important I think at least Tuchel protected that because you could say the same thing about what Elliot Anderson as well probably I think Liverpool is the type of player that in a sort of attacking sense if you need something and you've made subs and you're wondering you could always bring him on even in the fullback position I think he's so good going forward and so creative another man though you could say that about is Trent Alexander-Arnold who's been left out of the squad It's not going well for him really.
40:38Luke Moore: Well, the Spanish media have already labelled Alexander-Arnold too shy and believe he doesn't fit in. He's getting the fucking Rio Madrid sausage machine, isn't he? Fucking grind you up. We're having a big rat stir fight. He's got to come crawling back as well at one point in the Champions League, hasn't he? Lone move to David Moyes' Everton. Oh, imagine. Hasn't he got to come crawling back to Anfield in the Champions League? Yeah, something like that. I mean, is he too shy? I mean, he hangs out with Jude Bellingham a lot. He's just probably normal. Yeah. I wouldn't really look there's always something isn't there I don't watch Spanish football that closely and we'd have to defer to our brethren over at OTC for the definitive take of course but you know I wouldn't worry too much about what the Spanish media say around Real Madrid they have to fill like 36 pages of a paper every single fucking day you know they do the media is insane over there for Real Madrid they're just short of doing a 24 hour news channel of Real Madrid I think they do don't they on your TV 24 hours yeah I think so I'm fairly certain that you're probably told as part of your induction at Real Madrid.
41:40Luke Moore: Don't worry about that. Yeah. It may not be like breaking news 24 hours. It's just reruns of old Raul and Emilio Buitragrano goals, probably. Can you get it on a hooky feed? Sounds pretty good, that. You're asking me and Pete for this. You know? Wasn't there a man with... Wasn't there a guy called a fire stick? You're ignoring the human fire stick over there. Wasn't there a guy... Don't use fire sticks anymore. They're not very good. There was a guy called Firestick Charlie or something who was caught at some football club handing out cards saying Firestick Charlie. And he was dumped out. Is this one of your dreams?
42:15No, I think there was a guy called Firestick Charlie or Firestick John or something. Peter, are you Firestick Charlie? Peter, is Firestick Charlie in the room with us now?
42:24Luke Moore: Anyway. Well, anyway, that's it. He's not in there. Carl Walker's not in there. I think we're... I think... Yeah. Phil Foden, but he hasn't been playing that much. and Ivan Tony as well Luke yeah get get did anyone see Matt Target's pass for Borough this week no just sit and get him in Luke that's all it takes solid ticks I'm a Matt Target man I love Matt Target well I think he's better than Tina you've always got a target Luke and I will be answering your questions about England on tomorrow's mailbag so do join us for that Peter if you want to ask a question about Matt Target that won't be making the cut then we'll make sure that the production staff are well drilled do you know how much research we have to do for these shows anyway without you just chucking Matt Target in yeah I mean you don't need to do much research on that anyway make sure to subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you never miss an episode so yes get involved with the England Mailbag special tomorrow coming up after this good news Webb and Owen are back
43:36Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back to school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back-to-school must-haves at Whole Foods Market, in-store, or online.
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45:05Luke Moore: Right then, everybody. I've just been handed some correspondence. Pi. People can see you on the camera. It was just before. It was into your mind. Yeah. There you go. He's done it. It's a Google Glass. It's invisible. They're all the rage at the moment. Pi has got in touch on email. That's why he didn't see me. You know, on email. Electronically handed. hello to you pie you've got mail I've enjoyed you many times pie you trusty bastard you gravy filthy get your filling all over Marcus's face get your sweet filling in Marcus's tummy you dirty so pie's got in touch on email after Luke voiced his thoughts on the VAR decision at Stamford Bridge is there any scope to do away with the pug mall and look for a different organisation to provide the refereeing service to the Premier League just like any other contract out for tender.
45:59Yeah, Thames Water. Yeah, that worked well. Red cards spewing into the streets.
46:04Luke Moore: And Northern Rock's still there. Who are we doing? I think the serious answer to this is no because I think Pugmol are an organisation that are run and funded by the Premier League, the EFL, and someone else, the FA, I think. Right. So I think it's all part of the swindle. Can we nationalise it? No, I'm not. Nationalise Pugmol. Now you're talking. Why don't we... Oh, I reckon they'd be up for that. they could do it. So I don't think it's like one of those tender processes where you get an organisation. Because, for example... And thank goodness it isn't, by the way. But with the technology, say, for example, Hawkeye, or whatever it is they use, that was put out to different tech companies to tender.
46:37This is, I think, this is a fit-up. I don't think you can do it that way.
46:41Luke Moore: You know, and it's just as well. Can you imagine the nonsense if this was like that? Well, the idea, Marcus, would be the capitalist model suggests that the competition makes everything better, as we've indeed seen with Thames Water, of course. Yeah, with everything. Southern rail, part of our life. The list goes on and we do have to stop there because we could. The list goes on the length and breadth of this country. I'm a train Italian man. I'm fine with it. Oh yeah. Good trains. Good service. Yeah good. Well you talk about Mussolini's great grandson in a minute. Yeah. Anyway Howard with Michael Owen were back last night for match officials mic'd up.
47:14Luke Moore: Yeah. I suppose so answer the question do we want this you know is there scope for it? I mean there's no scope. I don't think we need more privatisation of an already private company. Right. it can't happen I understand why he's asked the question it's born out of frustration we're all frustrated but I don't think as far as I understand it can happen pie stick to dinner because mainly the powerpoint for any company coming in would be like I wouldn't do that that's the only thing I wouldn't do that we'll prove it everybody says they're great until they're actually tested aren't they well they're shown exactly the remarkable part of this whole thing is Marcus summed it up just with that sentence the one thing that Pugmol apparently think will sort this is putting on a really boring Ring TV show with Howard Webber Michael Owen explaining basically the whole format of the show it's like if they asked me to host it you know like you know those kind of like sitcoms those kind of like grist to the mill sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory no one watches them but there's 26 episodes a season they're always on the model is the format is basically the same every episode but this is that Howard Webber Michael Owen stand behind a desk for half an hour on E4 and at the end Howard Webber apologises that's basically it that's the payoff at least give us a decent theme tune and before the ad break in the show Michael Owen says coming up after this Howard Webb would apologise so stick around and he does at the end that's it it's mad you need a decent it would be better if it had the it's the golden girls is what it is there's only two of them but you need thank you for watching the cameras yeah every one of them as a foul goes in yeah but if at the end of the show it went and Michael Owen went and Howard I believe you've got something to say to the audience and he went yep once again we're polarised da da da da da da da da da bit of a term yeah exactly and that was the end I think we'd all love that it'd be better it'd be a great celebration it'd be better it'd be better okay it would be better it was because it can't get much worse Howard said that the decision to disallow Fulham's goal against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge was a mistake because the higher threshold for contact and VAR wasn't met right and you know we all know that right We all know that.
49:23But the problem was, if you watch the video back of the incident, because what they do is, for those of you who have mercifully avoided this fucking content that we have to watch, what they do is, on a big controversial one, they'll play out the video in the auto. To be fair to them, they'll do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the problem is, when you listen back to it, the people involved, I'm afraid to say, are exactly what I predicted they were on Monday's show. just arrogant, closed-minded idiots who think that this is about them. And at one point in that video, the assistant VAR says that it shouldn't be disallowed or something like that.
50:03And the VAR guy just completely ignores him, cracks on. And he comes up with the most preposterous reasoning as to why it's disallowed. And it's fine to say after the event, this was a mistake. It's fine to make a mistake. I get that. But the problem is, you know, you're not talking to these people doing this job in this VAR truck or whatever it is, office up in Stockley Park. You're not training them properly to not be like this. Do you know what it feels like to me? It feels like, you know, when you hear all this stuff about, and I'm not comparing necessarily like for like, because this is obviously far more important, this example I'm about to use.
50:41But you know when there's a big scandal involving like a police force and they say, oh yeah, well, mistakes have been made. it shouldn't have happened we've done this and sooner or later it happens so often you start to think actually it's systemic yeah but the people you're recruiting to bleed police officers are the problem here you need to recruit different types of people with this I think you need to look at that you need to you need to start bringing people out from outside of football who can just dispassionately look at the data apply the rules look at the rules and apply them right and until that happens I don't mean it's going to change
51:13Luke Moore: well on that viral deal you mentioned about the assistant virus he told the main in VAR that contact was an accident, but the main man in the chair said it didn't matter as it prevented an opportunity to defend. Which is math. Like that there, that's the line. Exactly. You got it there. That's brilliant. Because that's what I was referring to. Right. Preventing an opportunity to defend. You might as well just say, I've never once watched or played a game of football in my life. Of course the striker is trying to prevent the opportunity to defend. That's his job. And crucially, the audio there that we've now had, We've seen behind the curtain now, what was the reason given at the time?
51:50It was given as a careless challenge from a player who was already in possession of the ball. So they're making it up as a goal anyway. I mean, that clearly wasn't a careless challenge, was it? He was literally doing a rollover to turn around. And Webb instantly knew it was wrong because he took him off the Sunday game. We'd already talked about that. So look, to be even-handed about this, and I know this is boring, so just to wrap up, I do appreciate that they're being transparent with this actual raw footage. Because they never used to do that. Remember, Marcus, we were banging our heads against a brick wall for years saying, why aren't the referees coming out and talking about this stuff?
52:24At least we're getting a bit of transparency. But the problem is the transparency is casting light on the most ranking competence imaginable.
52:31Luke Moore: Do you know what, right? When they weren't, I agree with you, when they didn't release the footage, for some reason, a guy that I played football with had some footage and some audio of the VAR officials in the early forms of VAR when they first came out. A lot more swearing and smoking. There was loads of swearing. It was the straighter, yeah, no, he's definitely effing offside there. Like, what the eff? All this stuff. I'm like, what's that? What are you doing? It's so weird. So maybe it took them ages for them to kind of dropple that. To become TV ready. Right now it's TV ready. I very much, to close out this section about Pugmall, I very much enjoyed the fact that this television show is all about explaining decisions and it being really important for Pugmall to be not opaque about.
53:13decisions and almost as soon as somebody uploaded this little section to Twitter, the Sky Sports IP lawyers just took it down. So, what's the point? No one's watching, no one's sitting down, appointment television to watch Mike Alone doing anything. So, the only place we're watching this is on the Premier League website or on Twitter. Pugmo used to be called Pugmob, by the way.
53:35Luke Moore: Let's get away from ridiculous things and chaotic business and give you a Man United update. now Grimsby Town have been fined 20 grand for fielding an ineligible player against Manchester United in the League Cup they brought on midfielder Clark O'Dour who has joined on loan and he joined on loan the day before from Bradford City but later it was realised that he had been registered 1 minute and 59 seconds after the 12pm deadline when I saw this I thought hang about we've had this before is there going to be a replay are they going to be chucked out Man United to be fair to them chose not to appeal against the defeat they fucking didn't no they did no no they did Man United this is this is we don't want Wednesday away next no fucking way exactly we don't want another we don't want a replay against Grimsby Town the indignity of it some of the fans are willing to do so and it's like lads just know when you're leaving also the nerds are taking over I'm telling you I've been warning about this for years yeah but you've got You've got to have a rule, haven't you?
54:40Oh, that's how it starts. That's how it starts, isn't it? One rule for one club. I thought you were one of those liberal types. There's no such thing as... I'm like, you should have a 10-minute gross period in a parking bit, firstly.
54:52Luke Moore: And how many miles can you go over the speed limit? Exactly, yeah. Those parking enforcement officers do apparently have the room to use their own discretion. Yeah, it's like 10 % in a department store, isn't it? Yeah. I think they should all be armed, though. so yeah and I think Manchester United should be so Grimsby also managed to put United to the sword while basically showing a blatant disregard for the rules yeah I mean Grimsby being fine 20 grand bear in mind you get 7 grand for going from the second to the third round they're 30 grand down people get buckets outside the stadium next week because of Man United I tell you what though I reckon that Sir Jim he was to how much did we get for the next round 7 grand we got appealed no seriously and he had to be talked out of that But I just love the fact it is walking before the red card is shown here, isn't it?
55:40Luke Moore: Oh, big time. It's like, we're not appealing. It's too embarrassing. I can't go through that again. Oi, for the sake of the ramble. Look at the weather. It's still pissed down. I think they had a five-day period to appeal. If I'd have known about this, I'd have been, for the sake of the football ramble, appeal. Yeah, yeah. It would have been so funny. A big campaign. So funny. And then they signed a load of players to play in that match. So Man United are not going to be in the third round of the League Cup. As you were, everybody, as you were. Now, is this a little bit embarrassing that it was revealed that Man United were considering bringing Danny Welbeck home to Manchester United?
56:16Luke Moore: Is it embarrassing? He's had a good couple of seasons, hasn't he? Well, no, it's not embarrassing. You can get him really cheap. It's indicative of a wider problem, as we always say. So I think it's hard to find this embarrassing without feeling like you're being disrespectful to a great pro. Exactly, isn't it? That's the problem. It would have been embarrassing for Welbeck. I don't think yeah let's be clear about that I don't think even Danny Welbeck could have reasonably expected to be moving back to May night at the age of 34 I reckon Danny Welbeck the graffiti he did as an 18 year old is probably still on the wall knowing Man United's money problems I think Danny Welbeck because it was it was in the summer obviously hence the windows only just shut and he's thinking I'm having a good time at Brighton it's the summer I'm down on the coast why on earth there's no reason for me to take a step down weather wise all wise so yeah he's Danny Welbeck remained at Brighton of course but the story was according to the Sun believe them if you want that it was the second summer in a row that May United have had Welbeck on their hit list for players to sign love it absolutely love it I love it they just keep doing it incredible is it just like a live document they should not wipe the yesterday's stuff off I'm running the bar in Falmouth I've been done for three years I'm not going back to United like some kind of like aging detective yeah they need to because the serial criminal they need to arrest only respects him totally all in well I want to talk about a man who turned 40 this summer right same birthday as me has he really yes legendary Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa yeah him of the World Cup so the great thing about Ochoa is that he is a delightful throwback by which I mean back in the day you used to see really exciting players at World Cups only yeah and he's one of them still even in the Monde I was going to say.
58:02Luke Moore: Well, he was reportedly holding talks with Spanish second-tier side Burgos. Who are doing a Mexican-based project, right? Are they? I think this is the club that Jim was talking about a while back, where they're trying to appeal to a massive fan base in Mexico. Oh, sorry, a lot of Mexican players. And too late, lads, because they've gone for Sunderland. Yeah. Quite incredibly. But yeah, I mean, Ochoa, he's played in Spain a little bit. He played in Belgium as well for Standard Liège. but largely his career has been in his native lands, of course. But an exciting goalkeeper we saw, great hair at the World Cup and all that kind of stuff.
58:38Luke Moore: Now, there he was in Spain to talk to the representatives of Burgos and when he was asked to review a detail in the contract before signing on the dotted line, he indicated that there was one point that needed to be modified. So it was about to happen and apparently, very calm, he stood up and said he would go and get a coffee before closing the deal.
59:01Luke Moore: walked out the office and was never seen again yay was it a particularly strong coffee yeah oh my goodness he's still in the toilet cubicle the club board have repeatedly tried to contact him but he's not answered any of their calls Guillermo we've got a coffee machine down the corridor no but the one down the road is a much better coffee so I'll be back in a minute Guillermo we're doing enchilada Tuesdays come on come back oh they do them at the airport they're really good really good coffee this is incredible enchilada Tuesdays what do you mean disrespectful to a great nation. Well, they're trying to call Mexican players so they're doing really silly stuff like Enchilada Tuesdays.
59:33Pulled out an old El Paso box. Just like Mama used to make.
59:39Luke Moore: So give us a batch of the Enchiladas that Mama used to make.
59:47Luke Moore: I love this so much. What do you think? They must have disrespected him or something. It's like Malcolm Tucker in the thick of it. Little bit. When they ask him to go on that TV show and he asks for the toilet is just walks out it's not for me this he's chundling Tucker great yeah but do you think he's gone there as you say they're trying to call the Mexicans and all that he's just turned up and gone this is just a joke it's not the same just piss off has he turned up even now like no one's heard from him have they I'm sure he's somewhere I'll be just saying do we know nothing's bad to happen to him yeah that's great insight I'm sure he's somewhere yeah yeah well hopefully not yeah that's true I didn't think of that I love it if he turned up holding their rival shirt lovely stuff coffee stains down there oh dearie me thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network Patreon subscribers don't go anywhere keep listening for Ramble Uncut make sure you head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now thank you Luke Moore thank you very much thank you Pete Donaldson Arriba and thank you Guillermo Ochoa
1:00:52The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.
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Ruben Loftus-Cheek is back in the England squad and today is Sir Gareth Southgate’s birthday! Has anyone seen Marcus’ aunt?
Unfortunately, Luke and Pete force Marcus to delay his celebrations because new details have emerged on why Marc Guehi was forced to stay at Crystal Palace. Plus everyone's favourite TV duo "Webb and Owen" are back!
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