

Football Ramble discusses Champions League and domestic cup results, focusing on Liverpool vs Atletico Madrid and Bayern Munich vs Chelsea, plus quick hits on other UCL matches and the Carabao Cup.
Monica Reinagle (host of Nutrition Diva) appears only as an ad read; the main episode hosts are Pete Donaldson, Luke Moore, and Jim Campbell (no guest footballers interviewed).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
Hosts discuss additional content available on their WhatsApp channel.
“it might be time to screen for colon cancer.”
Hosts discuss additional content available on their WhatsApp channel.
“Did you know, gentlemen, the men who are with me right now and the people out there in their homes, in their workplaces, or maybe out on the street?”
Analyzing Liverpool's recent match against Atletico Madrid.
“You made yourself sound more grandiose and important there than it deserves.”
Detailed breakdown of key players and their performances during the match.
“You just cannot do it because eventually something will go wrong.”
Discussion on Virgil van Dijk's role in the match and his overall impact.
“They did take their foot off the neck of that letter to go Madrid.”
Examining Atletico Madrid's approach and tactics in the game.
“and also slightly doesn't quite make sense because it's kind of shithousery in a second language in a way.”
Discussion on the balance of luck and skill in football, focusing on recent games.
“he thinks there's some sort of kind of hex he has over the place.”
Analyzing Liverpool's performance throughout the season and their resilience.
“Because the technique was sore there and it deserved better, to be honest.”
Discussion on Liverpool's performance, strategy, and key players in recent matches.
“I think Verts is getting better and better.”
Review of Nicholas Jackson's limited impact during the Bayern Munich vs Chelsea game.
“Hi, this is Kim and Penn Holderness from the Laugh Lines podcast.”
Discussion about Chelsea's performance against Bayern Munich and critiques of their game.
“You can't have a single filling concern in 2025.”
Discussion on Nicholas Jackson's surprising association with Bayern Munich despite playing little.
“Because obviously he's now scored, I think, 95 goals for Bayern in two and a bit seasons.”
Analysis of Chelsea's recent performances and managerial challenges in the league.
“and I know Marcus sort of said that it was a really sort of, it was almost a default run to the finals and then eventually winning the World Club Cup for Chelsea.”
Exploration of Manuel Neuer's remarkable career and impact on goalkeeping.
“Neuer is, I don't know if you saw Eric Dyer's comments about Neuer playing with him at Bayern Munich.”
Recap of significant Champions League matches and standout performances from players.
“They go into this sort of negative zone, don't they?”
Review of Swansea City's thrilling comeback win in the Carabao Cup against Nottingham Forest.
“You would put your clothes back on as you were departing, though, wouldn't you?”
Explore how PSG's defenders contribute to their attacking play.
“And actually, PSG, Marquinhos got the first goal, just popped up as a centre-forward.”
Discuss the dramatic Swansea City comeback against Nottingham Forest.
“And Swansea City are going through and coming back from 2-0 down against a Premier League side.”
Analyze the decisions made by Postecoglou that frustrated fans during the match.
“the third goal, Swansea's third goal was fantastic because someone's smacked it off the woodwork and quite often you lament him what would have been there.”
Discuss Jamie Vardy's new location and its historical connections.
“These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.”
Examine Manchester United's financial performance amidst challenges.
“of the number of the beast in a bit, as you point out, and still lose 33 million quid.”
Discussion about Newcastle United's ticket cancellations for a Champions League game and the implications of ticket reselling.
“Oh, you just had the tax bill, wasn't it?”
A humorous take on the life of footballers in Newcastle and their relationships, including anecdotes about neighbors and social norms.
“and that's a sort of proud tradition among Newcastle players isn't it very specifically Andy Carroll I don't know that Tino Asprey has been marketing a new bit of merch Very, very on brand.”
The hosts reflect on past memorable football matches and express anticipation for upcoming games involving Newcastle.
“And you've not had that many girlfriends, so I know most of the girlfriends you've had.”
A discussion about Andy Carroll's debut with Dagenham Redbridge and his colorful history in football.
“Needless to say, I think Barcelona will win tonight.”

Get the gist, explore an idea or ask about something said.
On Football Ramble, what are the key points of this episode?
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
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1:20It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone.
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3:15Griezmann's magnificent mullet and a late goal from VVD. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's Thursday the 8th of September. Brazilian Ronaldo's birthday. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore.
3:23Jim Campbell: And I'm Jim Campbell.
3:38Yes. Did you know, gentlemen, the men who are with me right now and the people out there in their homes, in their workplaces, or maybe out on the street? I don't know. Did you know that you can get even more Ramble content over on our WhatsApp channel? over 2 ,000 of you are already subscribed and get to see loads of the behind the scenes nonsense that we don't put anywhere else it is completely free super easy to join just click on the link in the show description and hit the follow button to get that lovely bonus content pumped into your phone it's a situation where at the end of every show someone gets a mobile phone filmed at them and they have to dance monkey dance dance so and you see it on the WhatsApp group so do check us out it's a lot of fun It's what we do best.
4:22It is. It really is best. And the one this week or today will just be Peter crying that Virgil van Dijk has thrown yet more mud in his eye. I know. It's a bit of a shame, really. It's a weird battle you've chosen, I'll be honest. Yeah. It's confusing. But you either come at the Kings or you punch the serfs and have gone for the Kings. It's very much like you're punching up, but it's very much like Trump just randomly targeting Greenland. Correct. Isn't it? People don't know how to respond to it. into it because they're just confused. It would be like Trump going for China, I think, in many ways.
4:56Not Greenland. Greenland's like... You made yourself sound more grandiose and important there than it deserves. If I was having to go at Matt Target, that's Greenland, isn't it? It would be like the Deputy Prime Minister of Madagascar going after China. Correct. Completely agree. I'll take that one. So in last night's Champions League fixture between Liverpool and Atletico, Madrid. Liverpool, well, I'm going to say squeaked through thanks to the worst player in the Premier League, Virgil van Dijk. It was a five-goal thriller, Lukey Moor, a 92nd-minute winner from VVT. They've now scored four goals in stoppage time this season.
5:32You literally cannot leave them well alone in the last two minutes of football, can you? It's like leaving my son in the kitchen. You can't do it. You just cannot do it because eventually something will go wrong. There's danger everywhere. Yeah, quite. I didn't think that... Like, for example, the other day I did it, he smashed a snow globe all over the kitchen floor. And we're still finding glitter. So, anyway... What a magical problem.
6:00Jim Campbell: Why have you got a snow globe out in September? Yeah. Basically because... And I will get to the game. But basically, I love the fact the producers say to us, it's really important that you get straight to the stuff, because YouTube viewers, they'll just drop off. We're doing snow globes, producer Rory, deal with it. because when my mum, his nana, goes away anywhere, she gets him a snow globe from the location and he gets quite into them and they go up on the shelf in his room and sometimes he likes to hold them and I didn't know that he had taken it into this slate-floored kitchen and there we go.
6:33Anyway, I didn't think this would be a five-goal thriller because although Liverpool have looked vulnerable for the majority of the season so far, I'd say, I didn't think that they would look vulnerable after scoring two goals in six minutes particularly how Atletico Madrid have started the season and so it was a nice treat really because you're sitting there, you're going okay, Robertson scores, kind of, but it's a goal Salah scores, great goal, does his little Messi impression which is great to see and then you're sitting there on the sofa watching for pleasure but also for work and I know what you guys are both thinking as well you're thinking right, when do I turn over?
7:13And how do I judge this? Because there's another game going on that I'd quite like to watch in the shape of Bayern Munich-Chelsea, which we'll come on to. But if I turn over, I might miss something good here. I didn't turn over and I didn't miss something good here because it did turn out to be a far more interesting game than the first six minutes promised. Certainly in the second half. And you sort of feel that Liverpool very much, they went two goals up, but they did let that lead slip. They did take their foot off the neck of that letter to go Madrid. and allow them to get back in it with two goals by Marcus Llorente.
7:49Salah, at one point, was odds-on for finishing at 2-1, but he lashed it against the post, and I thought, you know what? This game could go either way. That was a great move, wasn't it? It was a beautiful move.
7:59Jim Campbell: It was. It really, really was. I think the Llorente situation is very, very interesting because he obviously scored two goals at Anfield in extra time to knock Liverpool out of the Champions League in 2020. doesn't score a huge amount of goals. After he did that, he got a puppy, which he then named Anfield, which is sort of like incredibly like Atletico Madrid coded shithousery and also slightly doesn't quite make sense because it's kind of shithousery in a second language in a way. And it's like he's kind of convinced himself that he can do anything he wants at Anfield. He's sort of, you know, got the keys to the city there almost.
8:36Jim Campbell: And he kind of played with a confidence that suggests he thinks there's some sort of kind of hex he has over the place. And it paid off. It's like a football cliché's happy hunting ground, isn't it? Yeah, very much so. Very much so. They do a big thing about happy hunting grounds and Anfield definitely seems a happy hunting ground. A dog-powered happy hunting ground. He's got his hunting licence and his gun dog. He has. He has. And I think, imagine if it was a gun dog, that'd be great. Jim, do you know what breed of dog it is? I don't actually. You should because you're a dog expert. That's true.
9:07Well, dog enthusiast at least. But you know what? It is a really interesting part of modern football, isn't it? That, you know, players who have, who go on these kind of streaky runs against teams that they just, obviously just start believing they can do it, right? The visualisation thing is absolutely massive for a lot of top players. And I think clearly what helps with the visualisation is being really successful in a previous fixture against that team or whatever. It's no coincidence. That Llorente, I think it was the second goal. The volley. When I first saw it, I thought it was an absolute rocket.
9:38I didn't see the deflection in the first instance. And obviously it's one of the most disappointing things in watching football, isn't it? A lovely goal being spotted by a deflection. It's taken a nick. It's taken a nick.
9:47Jim Campbell: It only has to be a slight nick to ruin the purity of it as well, doesn't it? Yeah. And it's been Nick Jonas, doesn't it? A very slight nick. Because the technique was sore there and it deserved better, to be honest. I also, you know what? you can't start a game like Atletico Madrid did particularly not against really good teams you can't do that it's so frustrating as a neutral let alone as a fan of the team to see your team kind of start like that but I do think that they did a really good job of making it stodgy for Liverpool in the second half and I also think they were very fortunate with the first goal because Gresman clearly gives Atletico Madrid an advantage by making it hard for Alisson.
10:38Jim Campbell: I was surprised that that stood actually. You would be surprised given the first instance but then you're just... VAR is just administered at such at random that there's no point being surprised because who knows what's going to fucking happen. They spent about five minutes looking at some handball VAR where the ball literally didn't go anywhere near the hand. It was baffling. So who knows what's going to happen. Yeah, that penalty, that would have been absolutely scandalous if it was given. And actually, I thought the referee deserved some praise because he let quite a lot of stuff go from both teams and it actually helped the flow of the game and it made it a much better spectacle.
11:14You can't be finicky about Atletico Madrid when their entire plan for the game seemed to be kick Alexander Isaac. I know they're a quite spicy team, but it was very pressy and very kicky from Atletico Madrid and Liverpool. what are we learning about Liverpool in this match? I mean I guess there's been a bit of criticism of Wurtz obviously but he I thought did some lovely work in the day of his own box he was doing his best to unlock from deep wasn't he? I think you're right to mention him because his development at Liverpool has been quite interesting it's not been spectacular it's not been hit the ground running and score and assist all over the place but there's definitely signs I've watched quite a lot of Liverpool this season there's definitely signs that he's grown into it The game last night was definitely one of his better appearances.
12:05It's kind of interesting because your original question was, what do we make of Liverpool? Well, just quickly on the exact thing, I thought his link-up play was good last night. His movement was still there and it was encouraging. He clearly not fit. Slots it after the game, but it was always the plan to start him here and see how we go. So I imagine he'll improve as well. Of course, he will improve because he's a good player and he's way behind the rest of the team in terms of his fitness. So there's going to be improvement there. But on Liverpool more broadly, interesting what Jim thinks as well.
12:36Because for me, you know, it's not a coincidence that they keep doing this. And I think you can, if you're a middling Premier League team and you get out of jail a few times, you say, okay, maybe that's a lucky streak and you can't rely on that. I just think when you're the reigning champions and the best team in the league and you're bedding in quite a few important new players and playing slightly differently and you still just find a way to pull things out of the fire and in some cases you're not even that good and you still win, I just don't think it's a coincidence, right? They looked a bit vulnerable against Bournemouth but they scored four goals.
13:18They got out of jail massively against Newcastle. Arsenal didn't show much ambition but Liverpool got it done. you know they went away to Burnley didn't really look like scoring Burnley made it really difficult for them like in a way Burnley have kind of built their entire recent success on being defensively solid they score in the 94th minute you know after Burnley have a man sent off by throwing everything at it and then they do that last night the momentum should have been with Atletico Madrid last night coming back to 2-0 but it wasn't because it's not a coincidence is it Jim?
13:52Jim Campbell: No absolutely not I think it's the It's not them getting out of jail, is it? It's them really showing their quality. And they're still betting in a decent number of new players. Obviously, Frimpong hasn't played that much. I think Verts is getting better and better. And you can see those connections, particularly with Salah starting to take shape. They're kind of reading each other's runs. As you say about Izak, not fit, barely trained, has a good performance in the first half. Hugo Akitike comes on, feels like a sort of seasoned campaigner after like four or five games because we've seen a bit more of him and he's contributed a lot.
14:23Jim Campbell: He was probably unlucky not to score right at the death as well. Ball's come in at sort of uncomfortable height, but he's obviously hit the ground running as well. And the idea that this is as good as Liverpool are going to be is fanciful, isn't it? They're going to be way better than this. And I think it is just an example of the quality that they have all over the pitch. So they keep getting it done as well. With the Burnley one, obviously that penalty comes really late, but it comes because they're just relentless in trying to make stuff happen. and that is how you make your own luck, isn't it?
14:55Jim Campbell: And the Robertson goal was interesting, wasn't it? Because that does feel like a massive slice of luck and it feels like sometimes things like that go your way. But the Salah goal after it, possibly Atletico is still rattled, but he's got three players on him there and it's not like he's really in space. He's had to wriggle his way through. He's being bustled the whole time. The technique to control the ball and get that shot away. I mean, that is absolutely superb, that goal. There have been some amazing goals in this round, and that is right up there. It's maybe not as kind of spectacular as some of the longer-range ones, but that goal from Salah is very, very few players in the world can do that.
15:32Jim Campbell: And yeah, I think this is really sort of a show of strength from Liverpool, isn't it? And this is one of the toughest games they've got in this group phase, and they've come through it really, really well. And Van Dijk's goal as well, I'm sorry to bring it back to your nemesis, Pete, but at the beginning of it, you know, when you see it happen in real time, I mean, it's like, oh, he's just not been marked very well. Why have they left him free there? But then you look at the kind of movements he does, the kind of little jerks and the little faints and the little shimmies. He was like putty in his hand.
16:02Jim Campbell: Get out of the way. He makes that space himself in a way that is just absolutely top draw. It's a brilliant header for so many reasons. The timing of it, the responsibility taken, the way he makes space for himself, Jim, as you rightly identify. and then the fact that he's actually, I mean, for a header, he's actually quite far out. Yeah. And it placed right in the corner at a key moment when, you know, they need it. I say they need it. I mean, if you draw two all to Atletico Madrid in the first game of the Champions League group phase, the way it is now, it's not the end of the world. But they want to win, right?
16:37Jim Campbell: And that's the fifth game in a row they've won. Yeah, the hunger's there, isn't it? Yeah, and what I do think is interesting about it is the three games they've played this season where they've scored more than one goal, the game last night the Newcastle game the Bournemouth game they seem to be pretty good at the 1-2 punch like you know they score two goals early against the Ligue 1 Madrid they follow up a goal with another goal then late on in the Bournemouth game as well they don't only score to make it 3-2 they score again to make it 4-2 and that's mentality and that's just kind of like as soon as you've scored that's the most dangerous time to concede yourself isn't it because you they almost did it again last night as well and you're right to identify Luke I wonder if it's a thing that they put particular focus us on because it's it's you know I tell you what I would love to identify Simeone in the crowd oh yeah come on absolutely blanker from Street Fighter yeah because you know they were making the point in commentary that he seemed very calm and he seemed very relaxed and he did and obviously that's not what we're here to see yeah but he absolutely delivered at the end he spent a lot of the time screaming at his own son in the game which is very enjoyable when you can hear that I saw him do that his son got nutmegged on the touchline right in front of him last season in the Champions League I was at the game And it was like he was, he does this thing, Simeone, where he obviously gets really angry.
17:56He's really tempestuous. But he does a great thing that all tempestuous people and moody people, myself included, also do. Where if it goes too far and he's too annoyed by it, he just goes silent. Almost a bit serene. It happened last night at one of the players, I forget which Atletico player it was, on the touchdown right in front of him let the ball slip under his foot
18:19Jim Campbell: and he just went really still and like just did a deep breath for his nose and then just started clapping like but last night the great thing about last night when he when he goes when he is obviously absolutely distraught about the winner which is understandable the fact that he's annoyed about it is understandable is that like a Liverpool fan can legitimately say that he got Simeone sent off it's brilliant he's like you've got a Champions League manager sent off get it on your LinkedIn it's a fucking great claim to fame So it's the guy who looks a little bit like, he's got like a sort of goatee beard.
18:51He's a bit David Brent, isn't he, in the crowd. He's like the guy who's going, ah. Now, something that hasn't been mentioned, I think it hasn't been mentioned, that I've done some Googling around, and that fella's actually been banned from football matches for three years for shouting at a disabled supporter. What? Or the Steven Gerrard banner. And caution for bringing smoke pellets into the DW Stadium. Stop snitching on him. Good research, though. I'm the one doing investigative journalism. No one else has mentioned this. great work that you could do 5 ,000 words on that this is what has come to let me in the Oval Office I've got some questions to ask come on on the moodiness of tempestuous characters like that Big Pav famously for me anyway Big Pav I played football with a lot and I know really well he's a good friend he's a rambled top now he is he's got seven he's got the seven moods of Luke Moore basically where he says and they run from the following they run from self-promotion jovial, chatty, abuse, anger, loud proclamations that quote, I'm done, and then silence.
19:53Jim Campbell: Yeah, yeah. I'll share with you the screenshot of the mood board he's written about me. We'll see. You want it up in your kitchen. Yeah, yeah. And we would never see all seven colours of the rainbow on tour, usually, in one hour. I'll give them to you now if you want. I'll give them to you. Between now and the end of the show. Fine, okay, fine. It's the only way I'm like Diego Simeone because he's obviously achieved quite a lot on his career so good on him it was a game that didn't promise much from the start because of the early goals but it did actually deliver it it was a really fascinating encounter I loved seeing Conor Gallagher play for Atletico as well he was all action and yeah it was a good thing yeah I think it was a good performance from both teams for one team to sort of get back into the game after that and then for the other team to sort of put a good old fashioned centre-back header into the mix for the final bit it was the first time in Liverpool's Champions League history that they failed to name a single English player in the starting 11.
20:48I mean, I guess the Scousers, they don't regard themselves as being English anyway. So does that even count? Because the Steven Gerrard thing is... I'm just saying, they say that they're Scousers, aren't they? They're not English. Yeah. Yeah. You're going with that, are you? It's not my words. It's the words of the Liverpool fans. I don't know how it works. Yeah, they do do that. To be fair, they do say that. They do say that. Not all of them. I'm sure all of them are very passionately behind England in Tottenham and stuff like that here's the other mood of Luke Moore hanging Donaldson out of dry oh that's not a mood that's his permanent state glee absolutely glee in his eyes sometimes I find it baffling how much you bring on yourself and that's me saying that that's me saying it
21:28Jim Campbell: I do think Pete you do have to take some responsibility in that nah I'm a toddler with a snow globe in my hand I don't give a fuck I don't give a fuck alright well coming up after this Nicholas Jackson's Bayern Munich they've beaten Chelsea
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22:52Bombas is styles for whatever you enjoy. You can run in Bombas, lounge in Bombas, dress them up, dress them down, but always give back in Bombas. Because with every item purchased, another is donated. Bombas, comfort worth calling for. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com and use code audio. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home.
23:24It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. We all belong outside. We're drawn to nature. It calls to us. Whether it's the recorded sounds of the ocean we doze off to, or the succulents that adorn our homes, nature makes all of our lives richer, calmer, and frankly, better. Despite all this, we often go about our busy lives removed from it. But the outdoors is closer than we realize. With AllTrails, you can discover trails nearby or trails worth traveling to and explore confidently with offline maps and on-trail navigation.
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24:47What's your go-to meal deal? I don't think I've ever had a meal deal. What sandwich would you get? Like chicken? Jam? Bacon? I think it's a simple... You'd want something... Is a sandwich just a single filling concern these days? You can't have a single filling concern in 2025. I love the idea that, like, Carl Palmer, notably one of the most famous young millionaires in the UK is being asked about meal deals. He doesn't need a meal deal. It's like asking him what it's like to drive a mini Metro. I don't know, but he's closer to being like the age of 16 when he presumably was still eating meal deals and stuff like that.
25:21I don't know.
25:22Jim Campbell: Yeah, but he'll have been in the academy system for a long time, won't he, right? So players don't like that anymore, sadly. I think you're underestimating just how much young players get done for them. I mean, he would have had all his lunches done for him. Yeah. You think? I just don't think it's feasible. He's not been allowed one. Have you seen how many players are at Chelsea? It's like fucking Oliver in there. Can I ask them all, please? By the way, also, I mean, I know why we're saying it, because Jim's on the show, but Nicholas Jackson's Bayern Munich, right? Came on in the 91st minute.
25:53Did nothing yet. Nicholas Jackson's Bayern Munich. That's how big a player he is. That's how big a player he is, yeah. Yes, Bayern Munich 3, Chelsea 1. Harry Kane's brace helping Bayern Munich defeat a pretty poor Chelsea attack. Chelsea's attitude very much helping Bayern Munich defeat Chelsea. They were kind of, I don't know, after about 40, 50 minutes, there were just no further gears for Chelsea to use. Whether it was Brentford, they were tired from Brentford, or they just sort of threw everything into this match. They went after Bayern in the press, but they were bloody blowing later in the game.
26:28They couldn't get the ball off them.
26:29Jim Campbell: I can tell you from my own personal, highly invested viewing experience, that Bayern Munich away is quite a shit time. So I think that is a factor as well, to be fair to them. I think it was just one of those nights for Chelsea. You know, I think it was, you know, Bayern Munich away is one of the toughest games you're going to get in the Champions League group stage, for sure. They've come away from it being beaten quite handily. They've been self-destructive. I mean, it's not, you can't really afford, unless you're very fortunate, to make one error really, let alone two or three. I know the Celober thing is a bit unfortunate, maybe.
27:12Yeah, the Caicedo challenge for Kane to get a penalty, that Kane scored a penalty is just preposterous. And then Malagusto's brain's fallen out, right? You can't do that. really probably if they do that against you know that Kazakh side that qualified it's going to be really tough I understand Bayern Munich are probably going to argue they made a contribution to these errors because they're relentless but the Gusto one
27:38Jim Campbell: comes from a good press doesn't it and also it falls to Kane and he's still got a bit to do but that is hugely unfortunate from Chelsea's point of view that that falls to him there and that he's got the quality to put it in I mean they've still got to stop it from happening but that is one of those ones It's just like that is a sickener. I hope Harry Kane's two goals last night can go some way towards Bayern Munich. Because obviously he's now scored, I think, 95 goals for Bayern in two and a bit seasons. Maybe at some point they'll be renamed Harry Kane's Bayern Munich rather than... Nicholas Jackson.
28:13I've not started a single game for Bayern Munich yet. I've played one minute in the Champions League for them, but somehow the team's named after me. Yeah. Was it quite satisfying, Luke, as a Cucurea agnostic, I'm going to say charitably, that he was... I wish I could be a Cucurea atheist. I wish I could say there's no evidence... There's no evidence of Mark Cucurea existing, yeah.
28:35Jim Campbell: There's all too much. Far, far too much. I'm not against the prospect of a Mark Cucurea. As in principle, I just don't see any evidence of it in this realm. That's a good point, actually. It would be nice if it existed. He was repeatedly destroyed by Michael Alisse. He was just absolutely done. There was one bit where Michael Alisse was saying to him, I don't even need to grab your hair. You're not causing me any problems whatsoever. Yeah, I mean, Alisse is an absolute nightmare assignment for anybody though, isn't he? The start he's had at Bayern. You know, he was phenomenal for them last season.
29:10Jim Campbell: I think there's a player there where you think he could be a sort of future Ballon d 'Or contender. I think he's that good and he's in such a good environment for us. So that is a horrendous situation to find yourself in. He's still 23 years old. I know. Yeah, it's mad. The first goal was quite a weird set of circumstances as well, wasn't it? Because Joshua Kimmich hit a free kick into the referee and was then given a drop ball, which led to the cross that led to the own goal, which is, again, quite annoying, I would imagine, from a Chelsea perspective. They're not going to say that in public because obviously Mareska doesn't spend all his time complaining about Jonathan Tarr throwing hands in the build-up to the Palmer goal.
29:50But behind the scenes, I'll tell you what he'll be saying though, Jim. It's a weird circumstance, but he'll be saying there's probably another two phases of play where we could have defended that bit of a bit, right? The fact is, it's weird, but there's necessarily a reset because that's the laws of the game now. And you get a chance to reset yourself as well. The problem is, Kukare has been stuck in the toaster, popped up. at Alise spread all over him and then by Munich have eaten him for a little snack, right? A little meal deal jam. Charity begins at home. The jam of Alise has been spread all over Mark Kukura's hairy toast.
30:27Exactly. And you're munching on it. Hairy toast. How far can we make the analogy go, Jim? Say something else. Yeah.
30:33Jim Campbell: I don't know if I want to. I'm just thinking I have no choice now but to think of the experience of eating hairy toast and how horrendous that would be. You're not getting that out of your mouth for ages. on an episode of The Word. It was, and it was indeed. I mean, talking about how Liverpool sort of played and how this is kind of indicative of how they've sort of started the season, quite resilient, not playing their best football, but getting over the line and bagging the points. This one kind of felt for me, and I know Marcus sort of said that it was a really sort of, it was almost a default run to the finals and then eventually winning the World Club Cup for Chelsea.
31:10Do you think that tournament sort of win kind of papers over some kind of Morescu-y cracks because they obviously played some really good stuff at the start of the run. And I sort of get the sense that he's sort of over-tightened up at the back and the thread's gone and sort of everyone's getting in. You know what I mean? He was very sort of quick to sort of say, we need to tighten up the back, we need to defend better. And that's kind of lost a bit of both their attacking impetus and also it's just kind of weirdly let them leak here at the back again. Not really because they've not lost a game in the Premier League at this season.
31:40They've gone to Bayern Munich away, Pete. I don't know how many times I have to say it. Jim said it as well now. It's really fucking hard. So they've had an absolute meltdown. There's like three brain farts in the same game, right? Move on. Draw a line under it, move on. Okay, well, I don't have to. I'm at best upon it. No, you don't have to. I'm talking about Chelsea. If Chelsea were coming to me for advice, which they're never going to do, right? I don't even like them. There's no way they're going to come to me for advice. And that's even before you've taken into account my output. but they should draw a line under it and move on.
32:13Ride it off. You know, they've got a game at Old Trafford at the weekend, speaking of happy hunting grounds.
32:22Jim Campbell: Little palate cleanser. Yeah. But they don't always play very well at Old Trafford, Chelsea, so it might not be the happiest of hunting grounds. Look, I'm all about green shoots. I'm all about giving people flowers, but I just worry about them. They've drawn a couple of games that you think they might have won as well, I think. They got pegged back against Brentford because of concentration again. So maybe they're sinking that. Well, because of concentrating on this match, I presume. You know, they kind of probably... And who wouldn't concentrate on this match compared to Brentford? Well, Chelsea, by the looks of it.
32:50I'm saying for now, Jim and Luke, Bayern Munich is actually quite a hard place to go and get some points. Do you remember that weird game? You're right to point out the fact that Chelsea's record at Old Trafford is an odd one. Because I'm thinking of that game a couple of years ago where they got absolutely whooped by United at Old Trafford 4-1. but the thing with Chelsea and looking at records like that Pete is that there's such a turnover of staff of staff yeah is there anybody left from Chelsea's last match on the field probably not you would imagine I mean if you're going to look at the positives for Chelsea as I said difficult place to go Bayern Munich as we said hairy jam sandwich Cole Palmer did come back and scored on his 100th Chelsea appearance so it's good to see him back and being amongst the goal
33:39Jim Campbell: yeah it was a great finish as well wasn't it and fine work from malagusto that will be forgotten um means bad taste in italian i think malagusto he's french so it's fine um but that always strikes me as weird whenever i see the guy uh yeah it was lovely finish from palmer wasn't it actually he had a goal ruled out and rightly so to be slightly offside but again the finish on it was first time and just he makes really difficult things look so easy and and for him to sort of come back like that and be in that kind of form is really satisfying. They need him firing as well. Yes, they do. And they will probably get him.
34:13Manuel Neuer became just the fourth player in history to win 100 Champions League games. I mean, an astonishing record. Neuer is, I don't know if you saw Eric Dyer's comments about Neuer playing with him at Bayern Munich. He was on Ben Foster's podcast. Right. And he was talking about how, I mean, I'm paraphrasing the exact, I can't remember the exact detail, but he was saying that you know, obviously he's had a, Eric Dias had quite a long career himself and he was like, I've never seen a goalkeeper do what Manuel Neuer does. It was ridiculous and he's the best goalkeeper of all time by miles and I'll challenge anyone who questions it.
34:48He said that like, he said that Neuer would like, would, he'd just stay at training after training. So what happens is apparently that when players want to practice free kicks or shooting or whatever towards the end of a training session, they normally use like a reserve keeper or a youth team keeper or whatever because it works both ways. And Dier was saying Neuer was insisting on being in goal for him even though he's like 38 or something. A role of sub-keeper is absolute shit because they just haven't got any practice. They're not even allowed to train. In fact, he's 39 now. He's just turned 39, Neuer.
35:23Wow. Amazing. Amazing career. I mean, he's revolutionised the goalkeeping position as well as you're contractually obliged to say when you're talking about Manuel Neuer. Completely agree. Bayern Munich's Nicholas Jackson on Nicholas Jackson's Bayern Munich, as they are known. Their football player, Nicholas Jackson, his agent has said that he will never return to Chelsea following his loan move to Bayern Munich. Apparently, he would have to play at least 45 minutes in 40 games this season to make the move permanent. That's a lot of juice, really. That's a lot of games and options to use him in, surely.
35:53That is simply not going to happen. Yeah, there's an amazing Uli Hurness quote about it. Did you see it, Jim? Uli Hurness is still a board member at Bayern Munich, despite his various indiscretions was on some chat show and he was like, yeah, oh yeah, the loan fee is this amount and we have to make it permanent if he plays 40 games. But it was like the older Antonio Conte meme, will never happen. It's like really smug about it. In a way that only a Bayern Munich executive could be smug.
36:19Jim Campbell: Yeah, I mean, so, you know, they've got him on loan. If it works for them, great. Who knows with Chelsea, Maresco might be two or three managers ago by the time this season ends, however well they do. Just watch this space. More Nicholas Jackson chat. Nicholas Jackson's agent can say what he likes, but I mean, if Bymeet don't trigger that, he will literally have to go back to Chelsea. Unless he wants to do some kind of Alex Izak thing, which I presume, I suppose he could do. It would be an old underwhelming pastage of the original, wouldn't it? Unless it's Jim Campbell where you'd be gripped by it.
36:53Jim Campbell: Chelsea have a whole other team who've got their own training ground and their own changing room where these outcasts go. They go into this sort of negative zone, don't they? So there might still be a place for Nicholas Jackson back at Chelsea. It just might not be one he likes very much. Yeah, I completely agree. Elsewhere in the Champions League, Champions League debutants, Bauder Glimt scored a 90th minute equaliser to take a point away from Slavia Prague. A great start to their Champions League career. Exciting. It's such a good finish as well. And obviously Slavia Prague are absolutely gutted by that because you're thinking that you have to win that.
37:28Jim Campbell: You have to win that one at home if you've got any chance of causing an upset here. But it's a brilliant goal. And they are the sort of like, just the little hipster train that could, aren't they, Birdaglims? They just keep producing in these moments. It's great to see them in the Champions League and great for them to get that point. Yeah, I mean, like a volley as well. Just fantastic stuff. Did you say actually that AS Monaco went to Bruges for their Champions League match, I think two days ago? It got cancelled because of an air conditioning issue on the plane and all of the players took their clothes off.
37:59Jim Campbell: All the Monaco players emerging semi-nude from this plane. Sounds so sexy. It does. It was so sexy. Imagine if you were on that flight, how insecure you'd feel. Oh, can you imagine? Yeah. Like, I once went with karaoke with three wrestlers, professional wrestlers, and they all took their shirts off to try and... You love getting your shirt off, Donaldson. I know, but, like, the pictures, they were not flowering. No. Just gigantic muscular wrestlers of me. You'd have the best nipples, though. Exactly, yeah. You could do moves off my nipples, I imagine. Nipple manoeuvres. The biggest danger for you in that situation was a couple of those wrestlers might think your nipples are the top turnbuckle.
38:40Money in the bank. Stop falling on it. They're so prominent. I don't know what temperature it would get to on that plane. I'd be putting a jumper on. I'd be doing all sorts. Yeah, absolutely.
38:49Jim Campbell: I'm sucking in the paunch, and I'm pretending everything's fine. Just like normal. You would put your clothes back on as you were departing, though, wouldn't you? as you were disembarking the plane. Well, none of them seemed to. No. Are you suggesting that there was maybe a bit of kind of, you know, they were enjoying showing off? If everyone's got in there like tighty-whities, I'm getting completely billy-bollocks. It's an arms race for crying out loud. Keep your socks on, keep your socks on. An arms race. An arms race. You could do a Red Hot Chili Peppers in the 90s, but a sock over the old meat.
39:21Exactly, yes. Yeah, good shout. Not a football sock, though. Very unflattering look, I imagine. Just a tiny little tennis pop sock.
39:31Jim Campbell: Little ankle sock. PSG thumped Ivan Juric's Atlanta 4-0. Did you see Kfaric Kelly's solo effort? It was an absolute peach. Ball of the week. Yeah. Lovely, lovely hit on it as well. He's obviously carried the ball quite a long way, but the way he kind of gets some spin on the, I'm going to call it a thwack, with some real finesse on it. Can we step back to appreciate the sentence, Ivan Juric is Atalanta? How is he a Champions League manager? That is absurd. He looks like he lives in his car and he manages like it as well. I mean, the remarkable thing about Juric, because people would have, you know, people listening to this maybe would be most familiar with him when he just came over to Stavampton for a bit and did absolutely nothing.
40:18He did worse than nothing. Because there was nothing that could be done. Yeah. Yeah. The basic, the way he probably got, the most likely way he got that Atalanta job off the back of that is because he's just talked about what a great bloke he is for doing charity work in the south coast of England.
40:34Jim Campbell: You know. He got his Duke of Edinburgh. But the thing is, I suppose, like, a lot of people say, who know much more about this than me, say that Juric is a disciple of Giampiero Gasparini. Right. Who did amazing things at Atalanta across the best part of 10 years. And so I guess maybe there's something at play there where they say, okay, we'll just get the next best thing. Without really looking at him, listening to him, or observing anything he's done in the last year. He's always got a tab on the go as well, so even the stench wouldn't be pleasant. Imagine walking into a really high-powered job and just going, we could talk about qualifications, or we could talk about how much I am a disciple of your previous CFO.
41:18All right, yeah, start Monday.
41:20Jim Campbell: Let's do that. Speaking from his bin. Going back to Krautskelia's goal, it's not just what he does. It's just the way he does it. He's just one of the most stylish players in world football. He's got a technique that's all of his own. It's great to watch. It's a Zlatan slash Berbatov type technique that people just love to watch. It's a laconic, stylish way of working. And it belies the fact that he's a really hardworking, effective player at the very top level. And also a fast dribbler as well, which obviously Berbatov and Zlatan Ibrahimovic were not really those things, certainly towards the latter end of their career, which we maybe remember a bit more clearly.
42:00Right, but it's a style that looks like it wouldn't necessarily work, but it just does work. Yeah, absolutely.
42:08Jim Campbell: He's such a fun player to watch. And actually, PSG, Marquinhos got the first goal, just popped up as a centre-forward. Nuno Mendes had a couple of shots and scored a goal as well, didn't he? The way their defenders contribute to the attack is very, very enjoyable. Well, we'll touch on the Champions League fixtures happening tonight in the next part of the show. But before that, in the Carabao Cup, Swansea City came back from 2-0 down to beat Nottingham Forest 3-2 in the 97th minute. What a situation. What a goal. It just had everything, this little sort of passage of play at the end of the match.
42:49And Swansea City are going through and coming back from 2-0 down against a Premier League side. Astonishing, astonishing, Luke. Yeah, I think it's, I mean, the scene is so typically Ange. You know what I mean? I mean, it's one of those, it's hard to explain, I suppose. But, you know, Postacoglu has this habit of making, I think, quite strange decisions where he doesn't seem to want... And maybe it would be unfair because he's at a new club now. There's nothing to suggest that it'll just be exactly the same. He is the reigning Europa League winning manager, so he needs respect for that, of course.
43:25But when you look at some of the decisions in this game, it feels not just ill-advised, but totally almost unnecessary. Like, you know, Ego Jesus scores a couple of goals. That's important, right? He's a player that they've put a lot of stock in. you know they've wanted him in there he's now got off the mark and scored goals having scored goals in the Club World Cup right it's an exciting signing they go into the half time break two new up right there's no need to after an hour take off two ostensibly quite defensive minding midfield players and Douglas Luiz and Dylan Bakwa and bring on Gibbs White and Hudson Adoy that neither of those players need run outs right You don't need to give them half an hour.
44:12These are established Premier League campaigners. You cede control of the game. Five minutes after that, you concede the first goal from Swansea. And then the two goals they conceded at the injury time, and I suppose the second one of the two is a fucking great hit and is a situation that obviously Forrest could have managed better, but it's a great goal. But there shouldn't even be any opportunity to do it. You're 2-0 up against a lower league side. you know and not just a lower league side a lower league side who have started the season pretty well right they're a team who who are I think they've already lost one of their five games they don't score a huge amount of goals but they they've done well right they're on a winning they're on a kind of undefeated streak for the last four games in the championship like don't give them the opportunity it just seems baffling and the problem is I suppose it's obviously you can read too much into it and maybe it's just one of those things like the Chelsea-Biomunic thing was or whatever.
45:13But Poster Coglu's got a narrative about him. Don't feed into that narrative. It's just weird. I don't know what he said after the game so I didn't see it because there's a lot of football last night. But if he starts saying stuff like, it's just who I am, it's just who we are, it's like, you shouldn't really be who you are against the fucking Swansea side you were 2-0 up against. It's frustrating from the Forest Pan's point of view.
45:32Jim Campbell: From an aesthetic point of view, the third goal, Swansea's third goal was fantastic because someone's smacked it off the woodwork and quite often you lament him what would have been there. But the goal goes in from the rebound, from that, also from quite far out. It's proper pinball stuff. I love the stroke into the... And do you know what? One thing I forgot to say on the Anjali, I totally agree with you, Jim, but going back to the Anjali very quickly, he's really, really bad at inviting these narratives onto himself. And when he was Spurs manager, they had a really good start and he was a breath of fresh air and he would give him like idiot press conference questioners, short shrift.
46:12No problem with that, fine. But it got tempestuous and it got a little bit confrontational because he can't help but be so painfully honest that it gives him pressure. And he's done it again. Why has he done it again? Because he said in this press conference last week or at the start of the week, whenever it was at the weekend, that, oh, I might have to win a trophy this season to stay in the job for a second year to do my thing where I win trophies in the second year. Well, guess what? You're not wearing the fucking League Cup now. So what other things do you think you're going to win? Well, I mean, new tournaments are sprouting up all over the place.
46:46Watching him pick up the FA Cup and the Europa League. Yeah, exactly. I'm right. He knows the tournaments. I'm just trying to share the frustration of Forest fans that they'll be feeling because it's an opportunity, isn't it? Nothing hits harder than when you go out in the League Cup in that circumstance when you're a kind of Premier League team that could be targeting that competition.
47:06Jim Campbell: Oh, absolutely. Especially because they're in a purple patch now, Forrest, right? You know, they've not really been a Premier League team for that long in the grand scheme of things. And obviously getting into Europe is a massive, massive thing. But there's been so much churn there. There's a brilliant squad all the same that they're still getting to grips with. And you've got to be looking at this with some excitement and some impetus, right? And you're so right. It is a disaster really to go out of this competition now. Yeah. Completely agree. All right, coming up after this, Barcelona are coming to St.
47:35James' Park.
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49:41Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Pete, Jim, and Luke with you. We spoke about, I don't think it was the last show, it might be the show before that, We spoke about Jimmy Vardy linking up with Benito Mussolini's great-grandson Romana, Criminese, on Ramblin Cut a few weeks ago. It turns out that Vardy has actually moved to the town where Mussolini himself used to live, Salor, which is a beautiful river-sized town, I suppose. They're just coincidences, aren't they? They're just coincidences. Why are we drawing the... Why are we tarring the Vardys with this brush? The terrible line of history between these two points.
50:20I know, I know. But, I mean, it's a beautiful place to be, but I cannot wait until Colleen Rooney gets there and starts solving some Lombardi-based Vardy crimes.
50:30Jim Campbell: Oh, yeah, like she's got the Death in Paradise gig, which presumably for an hour is an amazing gig. Yeah, because it's just constant travel, isn't it? I will get on board with drawing the comparisons between Jamie Vardy and Benito Mussolini when Jamie commits his first atrocity, and not before. Right. Well, he had a few minutes on the pitch at the weekend, but didn't manage to get on the score sheet. So it's as close to an atrocity you're going to get, I'm afraid, until Sunday when the next player. He's also started apparently learning all the Italian swear words, which is like the most obvious Jamie Vardy thing that's ever going to happen.
51:00Jim Campbell: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, do you remember that he would always kind of look at what opponents or what the nationality of the opponents he was about to face were? And he would learn swear words in their languages. So I imagine he's kind of a little bit adept at this already, but it's good to know that he's starting with the fun bits, really. It's just remarkable that, like, the Sun newspaper have covered Jamie Vardy in Acromenese. And the angle they've gone for is, you know, is this thing about how he's learned how to swear. But it is quite weird to think of that in a story in the Sun about Jamie Vardy, the following sentence is contextually acceptable.
51:39The mustachioed fascist leader remained at the property until shortly before his capture and execution as he attempted to escape the country in 1945. That's contextually acceptable in a story about Jamie Vardy in 2025. Was he mustachioed? I thought he was completely bare-lipped. It's a really good point. Because my dad looks a bit like Mussolini, and when he would shave off his moustache, he used to look like Mussolini, which... Yeah, I can't find a single photo in Google Images of Mussolini with a moustache, so the son of... They've got confused about their fascist dictators, and they should know better, because...
52:11They are. Apparently, Vafankulo is his current favourite, which I believe means fuck or fuck you.
52:17Jim Campbell: I think it's more go fuck yourself, isn't it? Go fuck yourself. Which is ideal for us. Yeah. And long-term ramble listeners. Mamma Mia. Go fuck yourself, Mamma Mia. Mamma Mia. Is that what you've got, Dawson? No, that's what Scott McTominay would shout. Mamma Mia, he's caught on a long lens shouting Mamma Mia. That's why I brought that up. It's the chance, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Well, his ex-club, Manchester United, Marcus Link there, they've posted record commercial revenues despite suffering their worst start to a Premier League season since 1992-1993. Their revenue marginally increased by 0.7 % to the number of a beast, 666.5 million, but they still do an overall loss of 33 million.
53:00Jim Campbell: That's doable, isn't it, Jim? That's doable. Yeah, you'd think so, but it's quite amazing that they can bring in revenues of the number of the beast in a bit, as you point out, and still lose 33 million quid. But it just shows that they're basically like a money factory, aren't they? It's absolutely astonishing the amount of money that they can trouser just from the quality of their kind of global reach. And it is to be applauded, isn't it? But it also makes it baffling that they find everything else this hard. I would just add, Jim, that it's clear that, you know, the United emerging from a period of structural and leadership change with a refreshed, streamlined organisation equipped to deliver on their sporting and commercial objectives is a really positive step and to have generated record revenues during such a challenging year for the club just demonstrates the resilience which is a hallmark of Manchester United as they start to feel the benefit of their cost reduction programme.
53:54Have you been contacted by an Indian PR company at all? It's just, Pete, it just happens to be what I think. It's just fact, isn't it? be my opinion on this matter. Okay. And I just think that, you know, there is still significant potential for improved financial performance, which in turn should support their overriding priority, Pete and Jim and everyone listening. Success on the pitch. Peaking out of his shirt. Ruben Amarin, in tears. That's our overall success. Our priority. Well done, Ruben's crying. Yes, the overall number of employees has dropped from 1 ,100 to 700 in the past two years.
54:32I mean, for a turnover like 6.5 million, a workforce of 1 ,100, that's presumably full-time staff, including players. That's not bad, is it? That's not bad. You wouldn't mind that profit margin.
54:44Jim Campbell: No, I'd be thrilled with it. Well, they're not making a profit margin, are they? Because they lost 33 million quid. No, exactly. So I think they do mind that profit margin. Right, fine. The only difference being that, I suppose, the year before that, they lost over 100 million quid. So, it might... I mean, what's quite funny is that the overall loss of 33 million is essentially almost exactly the same figure as the quote-unquote exceptional items they've had to shell out the last year or two because, or the last year, because they had to get rid of old Big Eric. Yeah, who's also had another similar payout from Bayer Leverkusen.
55:19Jim Campbell: His profit margin is incredible. In his own very specific weird way, he's absolutely crushing it. Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? Because you think to yourself, of, oh, we don't think Eric Ten Hag's a very successful bloke. And you think, isn't he? Yeah. Who's laughing here? His accountant, failing upwards. Because he is hoovering it up. Absolutely hoovering it up. And he clearly doesn't give a shit. No. He'll probably get another job, right? Yeah, you're right, Luke. You're absolutely right. The man is the man we should all hope to be. Tonight in the Champions League. Oh, it's a big one. I cannot wait for this.
55:55I can't believe you're not going. I can't afford it. And some Dundee children took my ticket. Oh, you just had the tax bill, wasn't it? It's always this time of year. Always this time of year. Is that what it is? It's pretty much constant when you have to ring them and ask to pay a little bit off every month. You can't be seen to be enjoying Newcastle United Champions League games after the Cup is on the Dubad. HMRC will see me. Yes, Newcastle United versus Barcelona tonight at 8pm. Newcastle have cancelled the 45 tickets that were given to a school in Dundee for the fixture. it's just heartening to see a private school in Scotland having loads of tickets to take their children to.
56:30Very.
56:31Jim Campbell: Do you think this is some sort of class project about slightly nefarious enterprise? Yeah, I guess so. I don't really know what the... But what happened was they bought it off a non-official supplier and had the tickets cancelled, right? I believe it was, yeah, some mass market reseller. And obviously these tickets have come out of season ticket holders. and you'd think that like big companies and I'm presuming Man United would have a crack at this, the whole sort of reseller market. Don't most clubs have a piece of that these days? That's the point though. I think a lot of them, I'm pretty sure Spurs do this as well, if you're not going to take your ticket for that particular game, you put it back on the exchange via the club and they sell it at face value.
57:10That's right. And I think, I presume, I don't know because I've not ever bought a ticket for Newcastle United, but I presume it's the same yet. This one is a rogue, unofficial seller so they just cancelled it and it just so happens that it's a story because a load of kids now can't go to the game. Yeah. I mean, they were in Dundee. It's not like, I mean, I imagine private schools in Newcastle would probably also want a slice of that pie. But can you imagine how much money they spent for those tickets? Good God. I don't think it's anything to do with the fact that it's a private school, Peter. I think it just happens to be a private school.
57:38Right. And it's a school outing that is now, and also, don't have a go at Dundee. Oh, they're in Dundee. It's a weird school outing. But they should get some kind of terrible letdown because they're in Dundee. They're 200 miles away. Why are they going to Newcastle? They went to the Champions League game against AC Milan in 2023. You're 200 miles away. Why do you go to Newcastle? Well, you're not being chased by the tax man. You don't want your face to be seen on camera. Why are you going? Leave my Jimmy Carter tax swindles alone. I'll tell you what, you snitched on that Liverpool fan earlier as well.
58:07Your chicken's about to come home to the wrist boy. I didn't name him. Didn't name him.
58:11Jim Campbell: You just made it very easy to find his name though, right? He's literally tweeting, do I get an assist for that? so I think you can probably cross it absolutely you do yeah exactly yes Newcastle United's new centre forward Nick Voltemada has moved into a new house with his friends from back home from Germany oh German friends yeah it is great stuff because he's also made a lot of noise about how he's single and that's a sort of proud tradition among Newcastle players isn't it very specifically Andy Carroll I don't know that Tino Asprey has been marketing a new bit of merch Very, very on brand.
58:49I know, right? I'll tell you what, though. The people who are now going to be living next door to Nick Voltemada and his German friends are going to be in for a rude awakening because I've got several friends that have spent a lot of time living in Germany. Oh, and the neighbours, they do not like you not doing things by the rules, I'm telling you. I was at my friend's house in Munich once visiting. Been disciplined. His neighbour knocked on the door, genuinely, to complain that his leaves had blown into his neighbour's garden. they're leaves for crying out loud and he also got reported he also got reported to the local council for um because his neighbour spied another completely different neighbour by the way spotted him putting accidentally some recycling in the wrong bin right okay strap yourselves in what is the word for nimbyism in German that's what I want to know they're the words I want to learn yeah Vultimard says as you said neither of us are as a girlfriend so we're pretty free in that regard pretty free in that regard.
59:45I mean, we've had footballers, I'm not going to name them, but there was a certain defender I can remember from times past that I was told who moved over, one of Kevin Keegan's lot, moved over from Europe and probably narrowing it down now, moved over from Europe and told his wife that he couldn't find a house, but at the same time was having a nice time in Newcastle. It was easier to do that kind of thing in the 90s, would you say? Oh, massively. No camera phones, no paper trail enjoy the amount of men in the 80s that appeared to have completely extra families extra lives yeah i can't maintain this family to be honest i know someone who who found out when he was about 21 that his dad had a whole other family of like three girls oh my god nice yeah and he had like three other sisters i used to go out with someone whose dad had an affair and had a child and moved his family next to the affair situation and child and none of them knew that they were related.
1:00:49And you've not had that many girlfriends, so I know most of the girlfriends you've had. I know, right? Wild. That's narrowed it down. Yeah. Imagine me dealing with the emotional fallout of that. I wasn't built for that. That's why you're not together anymore, presumably. That's why I'm not together anymore. Correct. That's why you're always in your shed. Are you excited about this football match, gentlemen? Because you obviously saw them play incredibly well against PSG at St. James' Park a couple of seasons ago. And yeah, I mean, like you had a fantastic time there. I was unable to attend, unfortunately, due to some adoption muck that I go through at Southend Council.
1:01:24But you had a good time and it's going to be a similar night tonight, isn't it? What an opener. One of my best moments, because in a week where I'm still dealing with the fallout of criticising Martin Zubimendi, it's easy to forget that actually on national TV, ahead of Newcastle's first home Champions League game for many, many years against PSG, I was the only one. And I was in the company of Andy Brassel. I was in the company of Marcus Speller. I was in the company of Jules Breach. On national TV, I said Newcastle will win the game. I was the only one. And I was mocked. I was derided. Oh, Loki, good on you.
1:01:57And it came to pass. Needless to say. Needless to say, I think Barcelona will win tonight. Did you see Breachy just behind the dugout yesterday in the Liverpool fixture at Anfield?
1:02:10Jim Campbell: It did look like she was sat on the Liverpool bench, didn't it? It did. I thought she was going to come on. If I had my way, she'd be presenting the whole damn jamboree. Damn right. Speaking of Tall Newcastle strikes before we go, Andy Carroll has made his debut for Dagenham Redridge at the weekend. He was given the captain's armband but he did get sent off just before halftime for elbowing a footballer in the head while jumping for the ball. Look, when you're that tall, you don't know what your elbows are doing, surely. By now, you would think he'd have figured it out, though, right? He hasn't got a lot of games under his belt, though, compared to a lot of footballers his age.
1:02:43I think it's the football equivalent of the hand shelf, Pete, among us tall people. Oh, do you think he was going for a hand shelf and it just slipped and damaged someone? No, no, no. Took me through the hand shelf. So basically, a few years ago now, Pete just did that thing he normally does where he gets, he's really annoyed about something, but it doesn't say anything for ages and it just explodes. And we've done some photos together and he said he hates it when tall people put their hand on his shoulder because he finds it passive aggressive. I'm not a hand shelf, he said. But when, the reason that applies to tall, I think it's fair enough.
1:03:17I was just unaware of it. I was blissfully unaware. The point being that when it comes to tall players playing football matches, sometimes they're trying to get momentum and their elbow happens to be the same latitude as a smaller player's face. So it can be that you can be a victim of that. I'm absolutely not defending Andy Carroll in this situation, but it's worth considering. It's also worth considering that Daggerman Redbridge's manager is Pompey Legend. What's a rung on the ladder below Legend? Cult Classic. Luminary. Luminary. Pompey Luminary. It still feels too grandiose. And the pride of cows on the Isle of Wight, Lee Bradbury's managing them.
1:04:05Oh, okay. Right, yeah. So he's done an amazing tour of managing South Coast clubs because for a year, I think it was, he managed the FC Bournemouth, right?
1:04:16Jim Campbell: Oh, wow. They were down there uppers. He was playing for them. And he took over to caretaker manager when, do you remember when Eddie Howe went to Burnley but then came back? He managed them then for there, for that period. Then he went to Havreland-Waterlouville, he's done Eastbourne Borough, he's done Eastleigh, which is kind of South Coast, and now he's gone off to Dagenham, which is obviously nowhere near the South Coast. But it was interesting to see him as manager at Dagenham and Redbridge. I completely forgot about him. All the while throughout that career writing some excellent sci-fi books.
1:04:49Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Aircast Creator Network. make sure you join Marcus, Luke and Vish tomorrow for what will surely be a rousing rendition of the song Newcastle are great they have scored lots of goals against Barcelona on the preview show remember to sign up for the Football Rumble WhatsApp channel do it Lukey say goodbye I will after I say playing for Portsmouth in the A2000 is very much a bit like Fahrenheit 451 see you later and Jim say goodbye goodbye and it's goodbye from me ta ta
1:05:27The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.
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Virgil van Dijk scored a late winner at Anfield last night. As Luke and Jim are very quick to point out today, that's one in the eye for Pete Donaldson...
Elsewhere, Chelsea understandably struggled away from home against Nicolas Jackson’s Bayern Munich. Plus, we learn why the Monaco team stripped off on a plane.
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