Occam’s angle grinder

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3:41Let your love flow Like a mountain stream Welcome to the Football Ramble. It is Wednesday the 30th of July. My name is Peter P.T. Donaldson. Mine is Jim Campbell. And mine is still, for now, Luke Moore.

4:10Thank you very much to friend of the Ramble, Eric Schultz, who sadly had his intro line stolen by Ozzy Osbourne and Black Sabbath last week. If you want to submit an intro line for the Wednesday show, become a friend of the Ramble for crying out loud. Sign up for just$5 a month. You'll also get an extended edition of today's show where I'll be discussing Gigi Allen and how reliable a punk rock problem problematic punk rock man can be. Me and Jim didn't sign that off. I know this is the first I'm hearing of this. What are you going to be discussing, lads? What have you got for us? Come on, Jim, what have you got for us, big man?

4:44Jack Grealish at Oasis, mostly. That's exactly what we wanted. We've got a lovely poem about Wayne Rooney as well. We certainly have. And a musical season ticket. We have, yes, completely agree. Just head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved. We are recording this remotely in our collective homes and studios and home studios and apology cabins because the studio is no more. As soon as the final notes of the Football Ramble theme rang out in the studio, something happened to the studio and now it's no more. I have rarely seen you undertake any task with such relish as absolutely destroying, demolishing a much-loved, storied, eight-year-old studio with an angle grinder, your hammers, your bits and pieces.

5:38and I think bought a crowbar special for it for those people listening out there who've never worked with you and there's many of them it's quite an experience seeing Pete walk into the office to start a day's work with you and it never gets boring when you see him coming in with two loads of tools under his arms it's bloody exciting Jim isn't it very very much so now I had to come back to the office because I forgot to return my fob which was obviously really annoying but I got back you hadn't made much progress had you but you just bought a ladder and you were very very excited about that and you were audibly just kind of fizzing with the joy yeah i was i was kind of i'd taken all the kit out i'd removed a lot of the insulation students have a lot of insulation turns out i had no idea why we sounded so good but it turns out just because a lot of it is quite well insulated we've had a lot of feedback about um about your behavior yesterday peter um so i'll read a couple of my favorites, Marley on Instagram, I am stunned, I genuinely thought this was a sound effect of a saw until I saw the clip.

6:44People test you, don't they? They test your resolve, they think, they still think after all the years of listening to you, that you're the kind of guy, Pete, who would simulate bringing an angle grinder in, and that's their mistake. It's Occam's angle grinder. Simple explanation is I've got an angle grinder. Luke on YouTube says, it must have been Andy doing your risk assessment. Andy would have loved that. To be honest, I could have used his height. Yeah. Andy would have liked to have known if it was a dog chewing an animal grinder or you chewing it. Yes. And Matt on TikTok just leaves us with this.

7:15He says, I used to work in Screenworks, which is, of course, our old building, and enjoyed opening the door for some of you lads every now and then. I never had the heart to say hi, as I was usually too grumpy about my job. Good luck with the move. That's a bit sad, that one. That is a bit sad because... We'd love to have got to know you, Matt. It's that missed opportunities kind of, I saw you on the tube. Sliding doors. Tall trench coat. sliding doors kind of moment. He never said hello. And being grumpy about your job is quite easy in Screenworks because a lot of the corridors smell of sewage.

7:42Yeah, they do at the moment. They do at the moment. Or sort of like burnt studio. There's a real air of burnt studio at the moment. I also love Matt's wording there. It's like, I used to work in Screenworks and enjoyed opening the door for some of you lads. Yeah. Some of you. Wouldn't it be me? Wouldn't it be Pete? Pete never says thank you either. I always say a thing. I'm over apologising. I rescued a dog. Your dog was running around the car park yesterday and I managed to reunite it with its owner. People were saying, is that your dog, Pete? As if I'd bring a dog into the studio the day that I smashed my studio.

8:15Well, who knows? Well, you have brought a dog in several times. I mean, Jules brought a dog in once and took a shit on producer Rory's first day. The dog did. That sounded like, yeah. Just leave it there, Jim. People can interpret it how they want. Well, we'll be hopefully in a new studio pretty soon, depending on if I'm involved in its construction. Manchester United chaps have narrowed their striker search down to two options, Oli Watkins and Benjamin Sescourt. I mean, they are very much copying Newcastle United's homework here. Two players at the top of their list. Villa have said that they're not interested in selling Watkins, but United think that they may change their minds closer to the deadline.

8:51Hopefully that'll be either United as this is written. I mean, if you were Aston Villa, you had Durant and Watkins, you know, not that long ago, and now you've got none of them. or you may have none of them three weeks before the start of the season. An astonishing turn of offence if this comes through. Yeah, although, I mean, that in itself suggests that surely selling Watkins might actually be more hassle than it's worth. I know that he's 29 now, but replacing him... He'd want some money, wouldn't he? Yeah, replacing him will cost probably, you know, whatever transfer fee they get for him at least.

9:26So I do wonder about this one. And also, it feels like it's some sort of punishment to go to Man United, you know? It's either you go there because you really desperately want to because you supported them since you're a nipper, like Brian Mbumo, or, you know, whatever baffling reasons that Mateusz Kunis had for going there. Oli Watkins, he's been here. He's seen how far they've fallen. He's seen what they are. Surely he doesn't want that. Luke, I mean, would you say that Manchester United are sucking us in to potentially having an orca season under Ruben Amarim. They seem to be buying, right?

10:02They seem to have the money inexplicably to do it. And it's a bit of a worry that we're being sucker punched again. I like the way that United are talking about this. Like they're saying, oh, we think they'll probably change their minds closer to the deadline. We know how this works. We're good at this. Don't worry about it. We're all done. It's fine. Well, look, to answer your question, I'm led to believe that they have obviously, or everyone's led to believe they've got a handful of well-known players on that right in the car showroom window with big neon signs across their chest saying everything must go to raise the money to do this kind of stuff because obviously they're well-known as being right up against it financially in terms of the PSR and all the rest of it.

10:47But on the kind of Watkins and Sesco two-man shortlist it's a really interesting one because with Watkins you've got plug and play, right? You think the idea there would be they've brought in Mbuemo and Cunha to play in the two forward roles behind a striker that Amarim likes. They're not happy with Hoyland. He looks like a rugby player towing a fucking cart and they want someone to replace him and Watkins is plug and play, right? He is the guy. He's 29. He scored goals in the Premier League. He scored big goals for England. He scored, I think, a goal in the Champions League but he has scored in the Champions League and so he's ready to go.

11:25Benjamin Sesko is like a much different proposition, young, exciting, absolutely massive, powerful, can kick the ball really hard, can do a bit of dropping deep like Harry Kane likes to do and has got all the assets you'd think to succeed in the Premier League but there's a question mark over him, particularly when he's going to a kind of club that's found it difficult to bed in new players, to say the least, in Man United. So ultimately, it's a bit like a choose your own adventure book. Which way are you going? Are you going to page 21 for the plug and play Ollie Watkins or page 45 for the potential powerful young powerhouse, Benjamin Sesko?

12:07Either way, I think whichever one they choose, they may end up falling down a well, dying and having to start again. A troll will lock their head off. I mean, just stick your thumb in. Get him on a loan. Stick your thumb in and then you sort of move back and forth between the two pages to see how it's all cheating not observing if you're a fan if you're a true fan of the Choose Your Adventure books that is cheating and not observed as behaviour in the scene yeah it's just not it's not literature when you do it like that is it no it's not it's really not I mean Jim do you see Manchester United's season coming to life with the signings that they've made and the potential signings that may be coming in at the club oh I didn't answer it so ask Jim because you're desperate for it to happen pathetic by you I well I mean let's be honest they can't realistically do much worse than they did last season so I know that they won't hold my beer hold Jadon Sancho's beer they're not going to look at a 10th placed finish as like oh brilliant at least it was better than last season are they realistically but firstly to go back to the striker thing what I can imagine happening is that they will end up overpaying for Nicholas Jackson and getting neither of those two players that feels more likely than either of those to me any price is overpaying for Nicholas Jackson one might suggest But I mean, to answer your question sincerely, Pete, I mean, obviously Amarim has had a really difficult time last season.

13:25He said he wanted to join this summer, but they said that wasn't an option for him. It takes time for his system to get better into place. He certainly knows which players can and can't play it. I don't think we're going to be at a point where every single member of that squad is perfect for his system next season. But Mbouma and Cunha were two of the standout performers in the Premier League last season. And they're only going to improve that team, especially given that they're coming in with experience of the league, which I think increasingly is a really, really important thing. So, I mean, it might get to the point where United feel like they're back just because they're not losing like four games on the bounce or whatever.

14:00So, yeah, I think surely, surely as a Man United fan, in the wake of last season, you're going to be looking forward to this one thinking, well, it's going to be much better than that. It just has to be. Well, also, I don't mind as a tactic, you know, if you look at what Ambrym's been through since he's been at United, it's been really tough. It's like a true baptism of fire. And he is clearly an up-and-coming, exciting, talented young manager who's been through the mill. As a tactic, in terms of transfer strategy, I actually don't mind the idea of, look, we should be buying players who we've seen can perform at this level in this league.

14:39Amarim's not managed in this league before. For all the pomp and circumstance around it, it is a really, really tough league to play in and to manage in. So if he's going to continue going down that road, you know, Watkins is the way. I mean, after that, it would be Jackson over Sesko because Jackson's got, you know, some time under his belt, some goals under his belt. And Jim's your assessment of Jackson is you think he's a better player than perhaps he's shown as well. And he's got a high ceiling. So it wouldn't be surprising if they did prize Watkins away. But from Watkins's point of view, he's three years left on his deal at Villa.

15:10He's going to be playing European football next season currently and not the kind of level of European football that they wanted. but nevertheless it will be European football. Man United need players and Watkins is going to be asked to go and play for a team who've got no European football. So it's going to cost them money whichever way you slice it, particularly when you chuck into the fact that Villa don't really want him to go. United are going to do something, aren't they? And then to bring it back to the Newcastle United thing, it's not crisis point for Newcastle United but it's like there's a load of time left in the transfer window.

15:42But I mean, how many other targets targets can they miss out on? You'd imagine, if United go for Watkins, Newcastle just have to go and get Seska. They just have to get him. They'll have to overpay, right? Yeah. I mean, they're going to be overpaying anyway because they know that those finances are there and ready to be stolen for whichever club that comes, you know, a knocking, I suppose, or receives a knock. I mean, the walnut gear knob in this situation for Newcastle is Aaron Ramsdale from Southampton. Absolutely. The most walnut gear knob sign-in of the window by miles, taken into account that he's been relegated four times in his career, including with Chesterfield in League Two.

16:28And although he's obviously a good goalkeeper, the thing that I would be slightly concerned about is that he is absolutely terrible at choosing moves. and if he's chosen Newcastle that's some kind of portent he's like Japanese knotweed isn't he yeah a bit like that yeah I mean his old man's probably in his ear again his old man's done a podcast saying he's going to Newcastle and so Aaron's now got to do it look as we know even a stopped clock occasionally finds a nut and I think this is a good move for him whether it's as good a move for Newcastle or not even this signing gym is because they couldn't get James Trafford because someone else took him sure Yeah.

17:10What's his ball delivery like? Because obviously that's the main thing that Nick Pope was criticised for. He's not amazing at smashing the ball to wide players. Is that something that Aaron Ramsdale's realistically got in his game in droves in huge amounts? Yeah, I'd say it's quite an emphatic yes as well, actually. Now, because he's one of those players who does play with his feet a lot, occasionally he will make a mistake. And that seems really eye-catching. And that might be the thing you remember if you don't watch him very often. But generally, his distribution, short and long, is pretty good.

17:45And he's a good shot stopper as well. Now, he does have those momentary lapses and concentration that have been quite well documented. But he was very unlucky with what happened at Arsenal. I think Raya was the goalkeeper that Arteta wanted before he got Ramsdale. And he then became available. And that's the only reason he's not still there now. And I think I would say it's probably an upgrade on Pope all round. Well, they were in the front of James Trafford from Burnley. But he's joined Manchester City after they... Did you see the detail on that? It was quite interesting. So City had a clause in the contract when they let Trafford go to Burnley saying if they agree a fee with any other club before he agrees to move, City have the right to come in and match that fee and supersede it, which I think is what they did.

18:35I'm fascinated with European Court of Human Rights kind of like, why are these clauses allowed? Well, you have to come back to Manchester. Oh, do I? Oh, brilliant. Your clause is that you're allowed to bring an angle grinder into the world. Despite your criminal record. At least one. As Marcus used to call it. So we spoke about Manchester United. It's worth remembering that Eric Ten Hag has moved on to bigger, brighter and better things at Bayer Leverkusen. He insisted last week the midfielder Granit Xhaka wasn't allowed to leave the club. He said the agent can say anything, but this club has already lost three important players.

19:15We won't let any more players go. That's not possible. Sunderland have now agreed a£17 million deal with Bayer Leverkusen to sign Granit Xhaka. He will become Sunderland's seventh signing of the summer. Plus a fucking Sean Tremburg. We all know it's really hard to be a football manager. We can all see that. Can you imagine how hard it is to be a football manager when on top of all the other hard bits, just no one listens to you. Just no one. You're not respected above or below. No authority. You are in the ultimate position of authority and yet you have none of it for reasons no one will explain to you.

19:52It's also like so obvious that Granit Xhaka has been obviously very happy working under the soon-to-be-great or perhaps some people would say already great Xavi Alonso having worked with some good managers in Arsenal playing in the Premier League. And he's just seen Ten Hag he's taken like probably one look in they've probably not even had a training session yet because well they would have done like pre-season friendlies and stuff like that he's probably had a handful of training sessions and a handful of pre-season and gone nah I'll go to Sunderland I don't care I mean as we mentioned last week Jacka when he left to go to Bayern Leverkusen he said part of the appeal was that it was a four year deal and there'd be a transition into a coaching role so he's looked at this and gone nah I just changed my entire life plan actually I can't be doing with this I'm not coaching under that I am not coaching under that.

20:41I'll unlearn things. That'll teach them. But here's the interesting side of it from the Sunderland point of view, though, Pete. You mentioned that it's their seventh sign of the summer. They are making moves, right? There's no doubt about that. They're clearly taking on the challenge. They need something like this. I mean, this is about as good as it gets for Sunderland. And this is the biggest signing they've signed in, like, you know, a good old 20 years. I mean, I would say that. Even like the Martin O 'Neill club-ruining amounts of players he put on the field. but this is about as good as it gets.

21:11That's a fair point, but it's going back a while. It ruined the club for a long time though, didn't it? Sure. But when we spoke to David last week when he was on about, has Xhaka made a big contribution at Leverkusen? He was saying, absolutely. He's been great, right? And this is a big statement from Sunderland, bringing a player of this quality and this experience in. And I think it's fair to say of all the signings they've made, taking on head-on the challenge who are trying to stay in the Premier League, they're obviously not going to go out with a whimper. They're going to rage against the dying of the light, in the words of the great Dylan Thomas.

21:46Granit Xhaka is going to be absolutely pivotal. I don't think it's too much to say that if they're going to have any chance of staying in the Premier League, Xhaka needs to hit the ground run and be brilliant. He can be a canary in the mine, like the proper litmus test as to how well they're going to do this season based on his performances. He's going to be absolutely key if indeed, of course, the deal goes through. Yeah, and a really key thing about the seven signings as well is it's only Xhaka and Simon Odingra that have Premier League experience. So, you know, there's a lot of risk in there because you simply don't know how these players are going to adapt.

22:18But having a player like him who has so much of that experience and will be, if not a captain in terms of who wears the armband, he'll certainly be that in spirit. That is just massive. It reminds me of when they signed Steve Ball. Do you know what I mean? It's just like, it's just like, just someone just calm everyone down because I still think Sunderland are going to be in a lot of trouble this season because they just, the squad is just too young. But a signing like this, like he was in the conversation, a massive wide outlier, but still in the conversation for the Ballon d 'Or last season.

22:48So like, he's still performing at an excellent, excellent level. It's good stuff. Good signing for Sunderland. I mean, why Newcastle? One might question that. But coming up after this, Pep Guardiola, wants a break and more clubs face difficulties.

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26:10The Tottenham fans seem to call you Thomas the Frank Engine. I would just like to know your thoughts on her name. Do you like it? I think it's okay, yeah. Choo-choo? Yeah, that's okay, yeah. That's fine for me. it's like it's like when they ask Donald Trump softball questions yeah do you like sweets Donald can anyone else believe that an influencer asking that question having such bad mic skills I can't believe it he should he should this is his stock in trade it feels like you know one of those blokes who just stand on Carnaby Street interviewing people about your like people's body counts and stuff just shouting in their mouth it's just such crap content it's over that or asking people how much money they earn.

26:51Leave me alone. I'm just going to fucking get a sandwich. Oh, aren't you a high-value male? You're scared to admit it. Pathetic. What's your Bitcoin like? What's your Bitcoin like? I'm in the cuck chair and I don't mind. Enjoy it. It's soft. It's high-backed. You can enjoy it. Enjoy the view. Pep Guardiola said that he'll take a break from managing after he finishes with his time at Manchester City. He said, I'm a wreck. Everything hurts right now. He said that he feels 75 years young. the City experience has taken years off his life. Well, just great to see heading into what presumably might be his final season.

27:26I am knackered. The season hasn't even started yet. I am absolutely exhausted. Every atom of my being is just in bits. I mean, this is actually pretty massive news. If you read the full transcript, he essentially confirms that he's going to leave at the end of his City contract. I know that's two seasons away and he's said things like that a lot, But if he's to be believed, and I'm sure he can talk himself out of it if they have success in that time, maybe it won't happen. But I mean, it's pretty seismic. Yeah, I sometimes, without bringing the mood down, I sometimes look at Guardiola particularly and wonder if his mental health is as strong as it could be.

28:07I think he's clearly someone who puts his heart and soul into everything he does, and that's a blessing and a curse, right? But sometimes when you see him scratching his own head and Bic razoring his hair off every week or whatever and some of the things he comes out with. I know some of it's lost in translation because he's speaking English as a second language. I don't think we can be too frivolous about this kind of stuff because he is clearly someone who feels it quite heavily and we already know that managing a football team at the top level is a super stressful job anyway and it consumes you, right?

28:40So I hope he's okay, I guess is what I'm saying. Because he said, I have three states as a person, euphoric, depressed and absent. Those are my three states. That's actually quite a sad thing to say. It is, yeah. It is. It's a horrible admission. Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, like euphoric sounds good. You can't be euphoric. Euphoric's kind of bad, I would say. You were euphoric yesterday with the studio. I was euphoric. I was priapic. Euphoria, priapism. And the third, just direct pose. Yes, yeah, it's sad to see as you start it. Hope he gets the help he needs. Hope he's all right. Hope he's just, you know, feeling it a bit at the moment, waiting for the season to start.

29:22Yeah, obviously want him to do well. He's the greatest club manager of all time, probably. So we want him to be OK. Yeah. James McAtee will potentially not be leaving Manchester City. They've rejected a£25 million bid from Nottingham Forest for the player. Antoine Frankfort in the frame. then British Dortmund and Palace as well, all interested in signing, Jason McAtee's got a lot of suitors, where would you go if you were JM, Jim? Surely Dortmund, surely Dortmund are out of that lot, possibly, possibly Frankfurt, little adventure, although I mean they're all good options actually looking at it, no shade on Palace and Forest, obviously distracted by each other I'd imagine, I don't care what I think of them, but yeah, I mean Dortmund is the romantic one for me there, lovely industrial city of Dortmund.

30:08on my screen you're down as Ian Beale for some reason you've chosen your on screen name as Ian Beale Ian Beale what do you think ask me where I'd go where would you go Luke Crystal Palace I could walk to work from your house yeah fine you can line bike you can line bike to work if your line bike doesn't get stolen I'm pretty sure the training ground is even closer than the ground so I would do that look I think that James McAtee's at a crossroads. I think, you know, clearly if he loves Man City and he wants to stay there, he'll want to be replicating what Phil Foden did. Don't forget there was like an outcry for Foden to move on, to get a low move at least for ages because everyone loved how good he was and Guardiola was protecting him.

30:52But then there's been examples of Man City players going elsewhere and doing really well, right? What we all want to see, I suppose, is the same way with someone like Harvey Elliott, who I would suggest is probably a little bit further along than McAtee. I'm not saying one's better than the other. Don't at me. I'm just saying he's probably a little bit further along. You want to see him play football, right? It's a shame when you don't see him enough. What I've seen of McAtee, I think he looks brilliant. He looks really, really good. That lone spell at Sheffield United's down on the world are good.

31:24He's not looked out of place at City. Let's not forget that City massively picked up their form after that blip they had. and he played a decent amount last season. So look, if Guardiola is planning on using him a bit more this season, great, because we want to see him play because he's a great player to watch. Yeah, he could join his brother at Bolton Wanderers. It would be great seeing him at Palace. I mean, Palace are such a great side. It would be great to see him in there for sure. It's a great place to play football. It's a great place to watch the football and I'm really looking forward to their season.

31:58There's going to be a lot of games in there. It's going to be a difficult one, I'm very much looking forward to see what they can do this season. Two clubs who are, let's face it, in a hell of a lot of trouble. Sheffield Wednesday's manager, Danny Rawl, has left his role just 12 days before the start of the season. He leaves by mutual consent after a terrible summer at Hillsborough. It looks like he was staying at some point when he returned for pre-season, but he left in the end. What seems to have happened... We did a deep dive on Sheffield Wednesday a few weeks ago, and I recommend if people are interested in what we think about that, you can go and listen to that.

32:34There's no point rehashing it here. But what looks to have happened is that Roel was given some kind of assurance that the club was about to be taken over because he had already said he was going. And then it was a surprise, I think, when he turned up. Because he'd been given assurances. Yeah, I think that's obviously now no longer happening because Chanziri is still holding out for a ridiculous amount of money to sell it. And they're in big, big trouble. They've got a three-window transfer ban now. They've got 10 players, I think. That's it. Apart from the academy, they've got. And they might have to close the stand.

33:14It's a really difficult situation. Yeah, I mean, if you have to limit the amount of people that are coming through the doors just because you can't afford to pay security staff, you can't afford to pay wages for your staff. I mean, they've had late payments to players, staff and HMRC. I mean, why the AFL has to punish them for paying their tax late? You already get tax fines if you don't pay on time, a friend tells me. But yeah, Chanceyri's in all kinds of trouble for late salary payments in March and May. It's good that he got April done though, I suppose. He can be done. I mean you said you said at the top of this Pete you said two clubs and obviously we're going to come on and talk about Morecambe now and the point I just want to make in between these two clubs I suppose is that what we're seeing happening now is that so people will focus on things like the owners and directors test from the Premier League from the EFL about whether people are suitable to own clubs and stuff and I get why that is but I think the main talking point here shouldn't necessarily be that what the main talking point should be is that we're now, as a sport and as an industry, it's now so broken that what is clearly happening in here is that they are approving owners because, not because they're suitable or not, but because the alternative is much, much worse.

34:41If you are put into a situation where you have, as a governing body, to either approve a potential new owner at, say, Morecambe, or Morecambe are going to go to the wall. You're obviously going to choose that potential new owner because even though it might be complete shit and go to rack and ruin, you already know if you don't approve and there's no one else lined up, they're going to go to rack and ruin anyway. So it's almost like this owners and directors test thing, in a lot of cases, is just a last roll of the dice because they're not prepared to fix the fundamental problems at the heart of what's going on.

35:18And now, Sheffield Wednesday, incredibly story club. You know, it's a joke that they're in this situation. And you've got Morecambe who've been around for 105 years, right? And now they're looking at not being able to do the first three games of the season. They're not looking to be able to pay their players. They have an owner who has a track record of questionable business practices, to say the least. I mean, you can read the stats out and see. 25 companies he's been a director or taken a directorship at during his career of those 25 companies 18 have been dissolved, voluntary dissolved put into administration, put into liquidation or put into receiver action now obviously companies get dissolved all the time for whatever reason things move on, you want to acquire other things and you need to put money elsewhere but it's not an amazing record, it's a Donald Trump-esque record so to speak but he still managed to pass the EFL owners and directors test.

36:15And I don't know what they're really testing here because this doesn't seem like to be the most successful people. And I don't even know why you at that level at Morecambe, why you would want to get involved because it's not like there's a huge pot of gold that deep in the thing. Is it just a place to park your money for a little while? No, I think what it is, is that you do have, essentially you have local, a lot of time you have local people who want to be involved so look at the stockport county story right the stockport county story is they drop out the football league they are in real trouble and they're local locally based quite successful businessman with money he was in it for the right reasons can can look after them can deliver them back to the football league can come within a whisker of another promotion last season and knocked out in the playoffs league one playoffs weren't they um by late in orient and that is that is a success story right and and he's a local guy he loves the club he's put money in he i think he wrote off over seven million pounds of debt to to take over the club so that that's that's a good story right and that's that's brilliant but the point is that's that feels to me like a a bug rather than a feature right because if you are in a situation where the only way the industry actually works is you roll the dice with an individual and just hope he's some kind of benevolent dictator and isn't going to disappear overnight and or or send you to send you to ruin it's not a system is it it's just it's just a series of charitable benefactors that decide to help out every so often because there's no meaningful way as you've already mentioned pete to actually sustain it so it's not about parking money.

38:03I think it's just about genuine benevolence on behalf of locally successful people or in Sheffield Wednesday's case, the flip side of it is you've got Chan Siri in there who throws all the money he got at getting him into the Premier League because that's when the payout comes. They fall short a couple of times and now the whole thing is just crumbled into dust around him and he doesn't know what to do. And money is so expensive to loan at this moment in time, post COVID, you know, a few years ago It was so easy to get money into the club because people wanted to speculate in that direction. But the city's kind of shut up shop now and you just can't get the money in.

38:42Well, coming up, we just hope that both clubs manage to find a solution as we head into a new season because there's just no way to start. People get so excited, they get their season tickets and they're ready to watch a few pre-season friendlies. And when things like this happen, it's just like, why am I even bothering investing in this? This season ticket may not be worth the paper it's printed on. I may not get my money back. It's just a bit of a joke, really. Coming up after this, you know, you're hoping with the new stadium there'll be more success coming David Moyes' way, but he wants you to come to Everton.

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40:32This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. In 2023, a source sent me a tip. It tied baseball's biggest star to a vast, illegal sports betting operation. Shohei Otani! But then someone surprising confessed to me. His best friend. I'm Epey Mizuhara and you do have permission to record me. From 30 for 30 Podcasts, this is The Betrayal of Shohei Otani. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts.

41:13Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Bit of an Everton update for you. David Moyes has said that it's difficult to convince players at the moment to come to Everton after losing to Bournemouth 3-0 in their Premier League Summer Series, which looks less and less exciting with all the team changes that everyone's been forced to make by the second. He basically said that he'd been struggling to feel a team today. We're a long way away. I would hope that by the time we get to the end of the window, we'd be closer to 10 new players. You can imagine the amount of work we've got to do. They're nowhere near that number has to be said.

41:46But I mean, they've got a new stadium. This should be really exciting, Jim. It should, shouldn't it? And they feel like the forgotten team of the window, really, because we all know that I think they lost 10 players who were out of contract at the end of the season. So I think we were expecting a really, really busy summer. And obviously you've got players like Dominic Calvert-Lewin in there, like really, really big names, focal points for the team. And they've really, really struggled. Now, Moyes said that it's harder to get players in when you can't offer European football. And he understood the difference from both sides of that when he was at West Ham.

42:15And they did have European football. and I think part of the problem they have is that there are nine Premier League teams who can offer European football this season so that puts them really, really kind of at the bottom of that pack. Now obviously they're a massive club with a massive history but that doesn't seem to be getting essentially the traction they needed to get in the transfer market so I imagine what will probably happen here is that there will be a kind of flurry of late activity where they might sort of end up shopping around whoever is left. And I know that Moyes wants players over 25 because he wants experience and he wants kind of Premier League experience if possible.

42:56That's quite rare, I think, nowadays. They've got a couple of young players in so far. People want to buy really young players who've got that high ceiling and kind of speculate a little bit in that direction. But I think that's quite sensible from Moyes, bearing in mind that's the pools he's having to fish in. Yeah, he's basically said that it is more difficult to get players in when you're not a club in Europe. we've been in for a lot of really good players. Unfortunately, a lot of them said no at the moment. Maybe that'll change. Maybe there's something they can do on their side of things. But I imagine they probably haven't got a lot of money kicking around.

43:28It's a weird PR move. I mean, like, you'd think that he would... I mean, because he was... The context for this is, as you already mentioned, they're in the US at the moment doing this Premier League Summer Series. But David Moyes did a media day where he went back to a load of places, I think in New Jersey where he toured as captain of Celtic back in the day and so he was asked all these different questions about his upbringing and his experience of coming to the US and afterwards at the end of that he was asked about Everton's pre-season and I don't know whether he just got a little bit nostalgic for a great time in his life because he seemed to be talking very kind of eloquently and passionately about what it was like visiting the US as a Celtic player back in the day and just got caught a bit off guard but I think if I was the ownership I'd be thinking can we not say that because the more we say that attractive yeah it's going to be in people's heads because presumably negotiations and going on and with certain players and targets are being established and it's not really a great thing to say it's like the old um if you're if you're a salesman struggling to sell stuff what does david brent say you turn up in a newer car you don't you don't you don't tell everyone you're doing shit like so it just seems a little bit odd it felt to me a bit like the grim reaper saying no one wants to die anymore you know And everyone's getting terrified of death.

44:41And then obviously people become more careful because they don't want to die. Jimmy used to work on the docks kind of vibe. He's a bit like that. He's watching the death of industry. But Jim's point is a really interesting one because when you've got, I presume it's an unprecedented number of English teams in Europe this season. You do feel like you're a bit outside the party not being let in, right? Yeah. Because a player can go, maybe in the past a player might think, oh, I'd quite like to go to a European club, but realistically at this point in my career, they're not going to take a chance on me.

45:12Well, the profile of clubs that are in Europe are similar size to Everton or even smaller than Everton, right? So there's other options out there for that pool that they're fishing in, perhaps in a way that hasn't been before and it's made it tough. Yeah, I do think with Moyes saying the things he's saying, we probably have to factor in that the fans are probably getting a little bit nervous and perhaps there's some sense of kind of appeasing the fans and saying, look, we are trying. It's not like we're not doing anything. It's just proving difficult. And obviously that comes at the cost of the kind of bad PR, as you say, but that's possibly a factor as well.

45:47They have signed Teano Barry, who looks like a really interesting prospect, young kid for a lot of money, scored some goals for VRL last season. I mean, that to me seems like the type of move they clearly can and should be making. They're going to have to gamble a little bit, aren't they? for the reasons that we've already said. And Tiena Barry was like, he said that he wanted to replicate what Wayne Rooney and Romelu Lukaku have achieved at the club. So, yeah, if he can do that, he'll be off to May United next year. Yeah. That's an interesting one though, isn't it? Because as we know about Moyes, he's quite pragmatic.

46:23He likes as sure a thing as you can get in the Premier League. And he's been very, very kind of hot on having that kind of experience in most of his teams across the league. So for him to be kind of put into a position where he's perhaps going to have to trust a lot of young players will be very interesting. I mean, maybe some players who are umming and ahhing about joining Everton are a little bit worried about what the pre-season training is going to be. Manchester City's Josko Kvartijal has spent his summer carrying out a commando mission in Croatia. He's a man from that country, obviously.

46:59Which makes me feel like he's just got no pants on. Well, it sounds very impressive, but it does also give off the vibes and fumes of a one-man stag do. The company who put a commando mission experience on claims to be the first ever tourist agency to transform war games into reality. He's basically posted a lot of pictures on Instagram of him running around the bush with a semi-automatic rifle. At one point, he's got a guy in a chokehold. He's got someone in a chokehold and he's calling it the ultimate mental and physical prep for the upcoming season. It is a worry when Manchester City are facing so many charges that this may turn into, he may go rogue, John Rambo style.

47:45You reckon they're all going to disappear up the Mekong and then start their own community? Exactly. They might just start their own league somewhere else. A kind of creation brush Super League. Way off grid. No electricity, no GPS. I was very cynical about this when I saw the photo. they're way too professional for them to be anything more than just a PR thing. Have you seen how good quality the photos are? There's no way it's anything other than a PR thing. It's like a little Call of Duty photo shoot in Italy. You could either have that or you could have a boudoir. He's not claiming he's really kind of also a commando, is he?

48:17It's the ultimate mental and physical prep, Jim. I think if you are into that sort of thing, it can't be long until you're Tom Hardy-ing it, you're John Senior-ing it you're Stal and Valoring it I think in many ways it was also why is he doing this on his own? yeah to at least bring another player along you see the WhatsApp group lads anyone fancy you have to let me know by the end of the day because I've got to book it anyone? I'm still going bit of you innit? no Erling Haaland on some fucking boat posted an Instagram post about his hair on his birthday he ain't doing this with men Gradio you could turn the gun on him at any point I mean I mean, he's such an interesting player, but he's just getting more interesting by the moment.

49:01I don't know how this is going to kind of manifest itself in the rough and tumble of a Premier League season. But yeah. Ruben Diaz was right up in the comments, like doing all the clapping emojis and the laughing emojis and stuff. He thought it was hilarious for some reason. You come back with your army training. He also looks a bit like, in the photos, which are way too professional, he looks a little bit too much disgraced former SAS Who Dares wins presenter and current London mayoral candidate, Ant Middleton. Yeah. He does look a bit Ant Middleton. It's the beard, isn't it? I guess it's the beard.

49:36Yeah, I mean, the beard is exceptional, though. Have you seen a more, like, well-sculpted beard anywhere? I think it's been dyed as well. It could be a photo shoot for the beard alone. You think? It looks too perfect. And also, I would also like to point out, the guy he's doing the chokehold on has got, like, a face mask and hood up. so the chokehold does kind of look impressive on surface level but he could just be chokeholding a really weak person well it could be a chronically ill person yeah or a member of ice because you can't see his face can you so he could be just taking out special forces ice guys yeah it's it's a confusing image please get that man back to Manchester City because he's he's clearly gone Colonel Curtis Rogue hasn't he oh massively yeah I mean if he's If he's getting people in chokeholds at corners and getting himself sent off, I think we can all get behind that, right?

50:27Yeah. One of the comments just reads, bro is preparing to come for Mbappe. And a load of like, also some clearly fake bot accounts with profile pictures of attractive women just saying things like, okay, Sergeant Guardiol, heart eyes. He looks good. I'm not saying he doesn't look good, But there's a little bit too many pictures of him applying kind of makeup to his cheeks. Yeah. It's too professional, Tonya. It's a photo shoot. It's a bit of guerrilla PR. And can I just give you my favourite? I want to end with my favourite Instagram comment from this, which is, I feel strikers should now wear bulletproof vests because my man is loaded with dangerous weapons.

51:15It's really homoerotic. Really is. Yeah. Well, thank you for listening for the incredibly powerful men of the jungle with our guns and our muscles. Just the inside, really. Yeah. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Patreon subscribers don't go anywhere. Keep listening for Ramble Uncut. If you're not a Patreon subscriber, sign up to get Ramble Uncut every single Wednesday. Head on over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble now. Say goodbye, Lukey. Goodbye. Say goodbye, Corporal Jim. Bye. And it's goodbye from Sergeant Donaldson. Stand hot! Stand hot!

52:00The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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