Paris’ Eleven

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3:08Jim Campbell: Welcome to the Football Ramble. The Champions League final lineup is confirmed. It is the unstoppable force against Arsenal. It's Thursday the 7th of May. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Vinicius in the Hunter-Rajah.

3:33Jim Campbell: Bayern Munich won, PSG won, 6-5 to PSG on aggregate. Vish, it wasn't quite as spectacular as the first leg, but that was still a hell of a game, right? No, I actually want my money back. this was we kept we were so giddy after Wednesday show we we thought we were getting goals and we didn't um but no truth be told it was you know quite a well a really impressive performance from PSG in a very different way and I suppose it speaks to um you know the results of abandoning that superstar project in terms of you get all the you still get all the attacking flair but sometimes they track back yeah and to be a good football team you need to track back and yeah it was it was quite outstanding from them and it felt like they did a number on Bayern Munich obviously you know they go into the game with a goal ahead they get the early goal those are that's perfect really that lays out the scenario for them to put on what I don't know as I was watching it I I was willing to accept that this is a defensive masterclass it wasn't necessarily about shit housing.

4:43There was a bit of that when the clock was running down, but ultimately they just grafted. And I didn't know people from Paris could graft. They don't need to really, do they?

4:54Jim Campbell: No, I think they're all just flaneurs, aren't they? Which is obviously like the final form of any well-lived life, I believe, personally. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah, defensive masterclass feels like it doesn't tell the story of the game, does it? But it's absolutely an element of it. I think that first goal, as you say makes that a possibility and let's talk about that before we get into the rest of the game because to me that looks like it was a pre-planned move now we know PSG love a bit of that with hoofing the ball out in the opposition's kind of deep into the opposition's half early on so they can win that territory we know Enrique likes to sort of plan things like this and the moves were so sort of I guess unusual that I feel like they they had a plan to do this that final ball from from cover at scalia to to dembele seems like a plot to me um a well-executed heist yeah yeah we actually miss the bit um that usually happens at the start of like oceans 11 where they recruit everyone yeah because that's usually the that's actually the most fun really more than the heist but yeah the i see what you're saying though um because the first time ball from Fabian Ruiz who's stood right on the left hand side like right on the line there he's almost like you know in Pong where the things go like that go up and down and it just deflects off it it was like that because he didn't really make the action of the pass he just had his foot out at the perfect angle and you know Varys Galia he's your favourite player isn't he and understand me I think he probably is actually apart from Jamie Vardy it's the weight well yeah those two yeah god I wonder if they've ever met I don't think they would have, would they?

6:36Jim Campbell: What a thing, yeah But yeah, the, just I see what you mean about the set play because it was so much about drawing Bayern forward so that they could get in behind them and there was no wasted touches in the move really, was there? No, not at all Even Dembele's movement on the far post everyone goes, you know, I think two players go near post he feigns to go far post checks back and basically ends up taking it about the penalty spot, doesn't he? And it says a lot about Manuel Neuer that I thought he could have done a bit better. Yeah, he didn't seem ready. Yeah, it does go through him. And I think we're all so dazzled by the move at that stage that it took me a while to go, yeah, I think he really, really should have done better on that.

7:19Jim Campbell: It also, it set a tone in a very positive way for BSG because Isman Dembele, brilliant player though he is, he did miss a decent amount of chances in the first leg, despite scoring as well. And I think that suggested early on they've got their shooting boots. And I was ready for a sort of end-to-end kind of, you know, kind of essentially part two of the first leg there in terms of the tone of the game. But as you say, PSG made life so difficult for Bayern that that never really materialised. And what struck me about it is that Bayern really felt like the away team for a lot of that game. I think part of that is that you can always hear those PSG fans on the TV because it's such a repetitive kind of droney thing that they do.

8:08Jim Campbell: Almost like it wears down the will of the opponent and the opponent's fans. It really makes it seem like they're setting the agenda the whole time. And I think the game played out like that as well. You're right to sort of talk about how good they were defensively. I think they worked so, so hard. Warren Zaire Emery was playing out of position at right back and you wouldn't know it. just stepped in perfectly. They defend so well all over the pitch and it was a really difficult afternoon for a Bayern Munich team who have set records in the Bundesliga who are, you know, a vibrant attacking force themselves.

8:40Jim Campbell: So it was a sort of terrifying display of power in its own way. Yeah, your point there about Bayern seeming like the away team is spot on. I don't really know how to put this beyond saying they felt like the smaller team and maybe like relatively they are but they seemed a bit more panicked on the ball um they were clearly a bit obviously rattled from the opening goal but even like before that what little game well you know what little time we actually had in the game um they there was an air of desperation to them and obviously that's understandable when you go into that second leg uh behind but you know Michael Alise's touch was a bit all over the place Harry Kane I think it took him about 40 minutes, half an hour to get, you know, to make his first pass, complete his first pass.

9:29Jim Campbell: Wow. Yeah, I've just like, I might have made that up, Jim. But he gave the ball away a lot. He gave the ball away a lot early on. Yes. And I know he's a good player, but just saw a little bit too much of Conrad Limer. Yes, who is an unusual player, isn't he, in this Bayern teams? He came in at half-time in the first leg. And I think he fouled someone before they'd even blown the whistle, before the ref had even blown the whistle, which sort of set the tone of what his game was going to be about. And there was a little bit of that last night as well. And I think one of the really kind of, you know, enduring memories I'll have of this game is how much Alise, Musiala and Diaz really fought to get into this game and kind of weren't allowed in there.

10:17Jim Campbell: I mean, those are three of the best players you're going to see anywhere at the moment. Obviously, Musiala is coming back from injuries, but he's come back to a very, very high level. And he was kind of taking pot shots in that first half. And in the second half, he was really, really trying to turn the screw, but they just couldn't quite do it. And these are players of the most exceptional quality. Now, Bayern were denied a penalty, seemingly controversially, for a handball by João Neves, which was a really unusual situation that you don't see very often. Because I think it was Vettinha, I think, cleared the ball into João Neves' hands.

10:49Jim Campbell: And Vincent Kompany looking exceptional on the sidelines. I guess we'll come to his fit in a bit. He was obviously fuming about this, but there is a rule in place for this. Now, BBC Sports Football Issues correspondent Dale Johnson cleared things up on micro blogging site X by saying, according to the laws of the game, it's not a handball if the player is hit on the hand or arm by the ball, which has been played by a teammate unless the ball goes directly into the opponent's goal or the player scores immediately afterwards, in which case a direct free kick is awarded to the other team. So I didn't know this, but apparently you can just flick the ball up for your teammate and he can slap it away.

11:28Jim Campbell: So that's a little loophole that nobody is taking advantage of. Yeah, I know. I've always wondered, as perfect a game as football is, it did need a bit more volleyball in it, didn't it? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And beyond being played on sand, you know, letting your teammate tee you up to slap it down that's the way forward that is the way brazil would still be amazing at it um yeah i mean it's a funny way it does that rule feels like a good one to me because you know that is just a weird set of circumstances have psg really gained any advantage there from that i suppose you could argue that they have um but yeah what do you think on that yeah i see what you say if it feels like one of those um laws that came into existence after they'd written you know the main ones yeah and someone was like well that's handballs oh probably shouldn't be should it let's add that in yeah yeah let's supplement the rules with that um it'll probably never come up yeah but even then isn't it that that um the fact that that's a talking point today and I imagine it will be a talking point in Germany not just among Bayern fans but that speaks to how little joy Bayern actually had I mean you mentioned Musiala and the fact that he's talking about from injury might explain why he also looked a bit off it he was like admittedly in the most congested part of the pitch but he was really struggling for space and to make an influence.

13:05Obviously, we should credit a few more of the PSG players. I mean, William Pacho was outstanding. I feel like he didn't give Harry Kane any change. Marquinhos as well. But Pacho felt like you heard a bit more of him. And, you know, when you hear a centre-back's name from the commentator so often in a game like that, you're like, yeah, okay, this is someone who's just quite literally rising head and shoulders above everyone else now.

13:33Jim Campbell: Yeah, absolutely. And they're so comfortable in this situation as well. Now, we touched on Kavica Kavarcz-Geli earlier, but he became the first player in Champions League history to record a contribution, sorry, a goal contribution in seven consecutive knockout games, which is really something. I mean, we can all see from the eye test what a brilliant player he is and what an effective player he is, but that sort of shows you that he's operating at an exceptionally high level. Just all over the pitch, they were really, really good. And later on, obviously, Harry Kane does get his goal, which we'll come on to.

14:02Jim Campbell: But there were times for that, probably that last 20 minutes where they were just kind of all in their box when they needed to be, but in a really efficient way that doesn't seem like panic. That can often seem like, right, boys, just chuck everything at this. They were really, really controlled. And they execute everything in such a deliberate way that that's why they're here. and you touched earlier on these players being different from the, you know, the kind of Galactico project that they've had in the past, where they're all working really, really hard. And that did not let up for 90 minutes.

14:34Jim Campbell: Now, I want to come back to Vincent Kompany's outfit, Vish. What did you think of that? Is it unbecoming for an occasion such as the Champions League? Or did he look great? I fear towards the latter, I think. I thought he looked good. I really like the trousers. though Marcus pointed out they they look like trousers that Steven Seagal would wear yes yes um liars trousers is that what you're saying yeah yeah I think yeah I really like the trousers I'm not sure about the the top half but at the same time I think if you pull off anything with confidence it looks good yes and I think I think I'm projecting my own self-doubt onto company by saying that I wasn't sure about the top half.

15:21But yeah.

15:22Jim Campbell: I couldn't pull it off, but it doesn't mean it doesn't look great on him, right? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Also, it's really hard to look angry when you're kind of dressed like a novelty M. Bison.

15:40Jim Campbell: Yeah, it was very M. Bison, actually. It's a shame he's not gone for the red. Yeah, when he's stomping up and down the touchline in the first half, apoplectic with the fact that PSG are just slapping the ball to each other back and forth in the penalty area. Yeah, I kind of think if you wear a hat and you get angry, you have to throw the hat on the floor. Yeah, that's true, actually. I think that's the point of that accessory. especially when you've got such a magnificent dome as company does you want to see it rise from the hat um before the hat is thrown to the floor i would argue but what do we know you know he's he's managing in the champions league semi-final and we're not um yeah i mean i i think it was a good game uh despite it not being as kind of um dramatic as the first one but i think what was what was the real story of it was that it became clear that psg are actually a quite significantly superior team which wasn't the feeling after the first leg was it because Bayern managed to get their way back into it and I think the penalty that PSG got was a little soft it felt like that game was a lot more even than this one despite it being a draw because Harry Kane does get his goal in the end yeah lovely finish I think the the fact that he can be on autopilot or for it to be so natural to him to turn a defender and hit it into the roof of the net with his weaker foot in the 93rd minute is, I suppose, just speaks to his quality as a front man.

17:15As we said before, all in all, quite a disappointing game for him. But again, PSG felt like covered all the spaces that he likes to drop into. But a lovely goal. Disconcertingly tired looking by the end. I'm not going to lie.

17:32Jim Campbell: Yes. So Harry Kane is 32. after that game, he was at least 47, which is a concern for me going into the World Cup. He looked absolutely shattered, didn't he? And I suppose that is the nature of a game like that where PSG give you the runaround. But it was, I felt really, I felt sad for Kane. He knew this is a really, really good opportunity to lift the Champions League and he's probably only got, you know, so many of those left. Yeah, yeah, 100%. I think, I can't, you know what, Maybe it's Marcus in my head. I can't get past the England thing. I couldn't really give a shit about his Champions League prospects.

18:11Yeah, I know what you mean.

18:12Jim Campbell: It was a reminder to me that he cares about it, how gutted he was. Yeah, I kind of wanted to go through the screen and put my arm around his shoulders and be like, mate, don't worry about this. This is nothing. Yeah, come on. Come on, this isn't the real prize. Yeah, remember, you came to Germany for the mid-season break in the piss-easy league. You didn't come here for this. You get in that Anbaric chamber and you stay there until June.

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23:15Jim Campbell: so um before the game there was some um extremely um by encoded banter um by and fans unveiled a banner reading we're going to budapest and sending you to saint helena saint helena is of course known for being the site of the second period of exile of napoleon bonaparte from his defeat at the battle of waterloo in 1815 until his death now i know i don't need to point that out to anybody but I figure I should just in case we're all aware of that Tuesday was the 205th anniversary of Napoleon's death now that is some that is some exceptional exceptionally niche a dig really isn't it it's a niche dig is that really going to get under the skin of those PSG fans yeah that's true although I do love the fact that it came back to bite them as Bayern Munich were essentially turned over they were blown apart by two little men in Jaume Pes and Vitina.

24:11So yeah, they're the last laugh.

24:13Jim Campbell: Both screaming, we're of average height, actually. That doesn't matter. That doesn't matter. That's not what's going to be remembered. It's not a complex if we're right. Yeah, and Bayern also had a Tifo, really good Tifo, because obviously very efficiently done, as you'd expect. And it said, Scheißt uns in finale, which translates to kick us into the final. some of German fan culture is actually really sort of twee isn't it there's a real sort of just like innocence to it almost which I quite like kick us into the final with a picture of a big foot or a big you know lower half of a footballer in a Bayern Munich kit there's something really like almost child friendly about it yeah yeah 100 % oh okay well done well done Bayern Munich we'll stick it on the fridge with lovely little napoleon stuff i feel a bit bad for them where basically we've uh the only compliments we've given them is we said their manager was dressed nice and we're complimenting their decorations yeah i didn't lose the game only drew the other one because of penalty that was really harsh but it does feel like they've been roundly beaten there because as you as you suggested earlier psg played the game they needed to play right if they had if they tried to get a second goal with a bit more gusto, then you open the door for Bayern Munich and that didn't suit them.

25:36Jim Campbell: Suddenly, they get that goal, Bayern have got to score three and that looks impossible even in the context of the basketball game that we saw in Paris. Yeah, although I forgot to mention that Kvaris Scalier should have scored a second when he was through in the second half. Yeah, he whiffed it, didn't he? Of all the players, he's worked so hard to get there. They couldn't live with him, could they? I mean, that was a great example of it. He shouldn't have got through and yet his phase of the move starts by lifting the ball over someone's head and just continue on past two other players. Like, yeah, mad.

26:08But yeah, he whiffed it. He was moving too fast for his own good.

26:13Jim Campbell: Yeah, and Kim Min-Jay's phase is just like, oh, thank God for that. Thank God for that. I've only just come on. Yeah. I think Barclough as well had one way he smashed it into the side netting on the near post. Yeah. It'd be a hell of a shot if he smashed it into the side netting of the far post, admittedly. But yeah, they had the more open chances throughout the game, really. Absolutely. And I think that came from the way they were sort of controlling Bayern, though, didn't they? They knew they were going to be able to get them if they needed them, but weren't going hell for leather with them.

26:43Jim Campbell: It was quite, again, despite Kane getting that late goal, it was a pretty complete performance, certainly as an away performance. Yeah, I mean, complete is the right word. Credit to Luis Enrico. I know he's a hell of a manager, But it's, you know, I have, as most fans do, I have so much more enjoyment and love for the first leg than I do for the second leg. But I have a fascination with what goes into a second leg performance like that from PSG. And I'd love to, I don't know, just get a long read or behind the scenes footage of how they prepare for that. because everyone played their role perfectly.

27:25It's almost like it felt to a point of, you know, when you watch Hamilton, you'd be like, God, it's got to be so hard to remember all that. And make it rhyme. That's crazy. How do you do that? It's mad. But that's kind of what I felt watching PSG yesterday.

27:44Jim Campbell: Yeah. So PSG now have the chance to retain their title, something that used to look impossible until Real Madrid did it three times in a row. it's obviously a very very tricky opponent for Arsenal but it is a clash of styles isn't it I think that's that's the thing that Arsenal have going for them there they're obviously not going to try and take the game to PSG in the way that Bayern did using their own sort of kind of attacking force they're going to have to try and contain them whether that's even possible is up for debate and is something we'll see how do you see this going as a spectacle I think it'll be quite a good spectacle.

28:20I don't expect Arsenal to contribute all that much to the transitional nature of the game because I think they'll be bested on that front and I just don't think Arteta would be stupid enough to do that and I think it would be a case of stupidity if Arsenal tried to go toe-to-toe with them. I mean, I might throw this back at you because to me it feels like Arsenal, i'm not saying arsenal are like perfectly equipped to deal with uh psg but they're grooved enough to have the game in their locker that can beat psg they just have to be perfect at it it's like the um apologies for making a marvel reference here but it's like uh you know avengers endgame where it's like there are four million ways this goes and in only one of them it goes well.

29:14Yes, yes. And that might be the case with Arsenal. And it's like, you know, it's the goal from a set piece or a couple of goals from a set piece and just the bunkering down that they can do but they would need to be perfect at doing.

29:26Jim Campbell: Yeah, I think they will be able to craft chances in open play. There won't be many of them. I'm fairly confident about that. It's just about being a bit more clinical than they have often been at times this season. But Arsenal have scored a lot of goals this season themselves. You know, obviously they've played a lot of games as well which kind of, you know, spreads that out a little bit. But they have to be really, really clinical on the day because you are going to get an absolute barrage from PSG and they are going to control the game because they're quicker than you, they're stronger than you and they're technically better than you.

29:56Jim Campbell: That was clearly true of even Bayern Munich. I think a big part of it will be factored around whether Arsenal are the champions of England by then or not. If they are, I think there's less pressure on this game as an occasion. if they're not there's a very very different type of pressure Mikai Osaka hinted in that interview with CBS didn't he that there is a an opponent they want to face a lot of people think it's PSG I'm not sure on that because I do remember after the game at the Emirates against Bayern Munich Harry Kane was interviewed and he said they were you know the Arsenal very good opponent and he was sure they'll meet them again later down the line and he had a little sort of grin on his face and I wonder if that might have been something that the players are referring to and that they remember um either way it's a really really really tough task but I do think actually based on the way Saka was talking there and obviously the the buzz from getting to the final in the first place I don't think they're scared of this assignment you know it's easy to sit here as a fan and go oh god that team are so good this might be a really tough game like worst case scenario is that they're a brilliant team and we're you know clearly the underdogs the players obviously don't see it like that they'll probably understand that they're underdogs but they're going to relish that so actually that interview gave me a lot of confidence in in how Arsenal will approach the game they might get beaten you know but on the day by a better team very very possible but um they're there for a good reason um it's a very different type of challenge really compared to anything PSG have faced up to now so I think it's going to be a very very interesting game like I say a clash of styles um a lot of people will probably see um PSG as the football purists um kind of version um and then I'll probably make a team created the right way as well well exactly exactly that's kind of what I was going to say that will be a very interesting uh um factor um for me to cry about if we lose so look forward to that um so one Arsenal fan did a really smart thing ahead of this game because he bought his hotel room in Budapest for the final last summer at 10 % of the current price.

32:07Jim Campbell: If anyone's been looking at those prices, they are crazy, as you would expect. And he was crowing about it online. And I know I should be on his side here, but he did post his full name and reservation number on micro blogging cesspitx. so a Tottenham fan called the hotel and cancelled the booking and you do leave yourself vulnerable to that now don't you and you've got to be absolutely kicking yourself it's the perfect side of you know that kind of shithousery where doxing yourself is such a dangerous thing to do and it's such beautiful use of it It's not particularly malicious. It's just crafty and dickheadish.

32:58Jim Campbell: Yeah, it's being a dickhead. You're being the most annoying little brother who ever lived in that situation. That's sort of how it feels. And we've been in the kind of the banter era of social media football discourse for a long, long time now. And I do wonder, actually, has that soured so much that did this guy actually think about this being funny? Or is it just pure malice? so many people are just so angry all the time online now that they've forgotten that this is meant to be fun even the bit where you're trying to annoy other people yeah well maybe we're in the shit housing era where it's it's the bell curve the malice is on the the y-axis and it's got really malicious and now it's coming back down it's just funny maybe we've had it for so long that it's it might start to be funny and this is the bit this is the bit of what it tips yeah So I've got actually Nuj just in a little update on this story because as we know X is a micro blogging site that is really defined by its integrity.

33:57Jim Campbell: This has been community noted. So actually this might be fake news. Some banter will be false. So what do we reckon? Do we think it's fake news that it got cancelled or do we think it's fake news that someone had the forethought to book a hotel a year in advance? I can see someone doing that for sure. but I can also see people making up a load of nonsense for internet clout. Yeah, we were on, I think it was uncut, we were ripping into ticket towels and rightly so. Could you be a hotel towel? Could you be a hotel towel? That'd be interesting. Just sort of hanging about outside. Oh, do you want a room?

34:37Yeah, and there's nothing weird about that. Nothing weird about that. Yeah. Do you want a room? We've got twin beds. Do you want a twin bed or do you want them seamlessly together?

34:46Jim Campbell: Do you want a little third bed in the corner? What's that for? No one knows, but you can have a guess. We've got one with a cuck chair. We've got one here with a cuck table as well, actually, if you want to make notes while watching. You've got a whole cuck room, two-way mirror. Yeah, I don't know why more people don't do that. So thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Vish, thank you for joining me. We'll be back tomorrow for the preview show. See you later.

35:21The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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36:13Read, watch, and listen as our journalists connect the dots between the games, the cultures, and this political moment. We'll have daily newsletters throughout the tournament, reporters on the ground with all the big teams, and the legendary Football Weekly podcast, The Guardian, bringing you the whole picture on soccer. Search Guardian Soccer for more. Hey, heads up, Benihana's Mother's Day flash sale is on right now, and it's absolutely worth jumping on. For a limited time, spend$50 on a gift card and get$20 back. spend 200 you get 120 back that's a night out at benihana that practically pays for itself give mom the dinner she actually wants fire flavor and a chef who puts on a show she'll be talking about long after dessert don't wait shop now at benihana.com