Pete’s Film Club: Golden Shoes

0:28Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Especially when you've already got a million things going on. Members get more at Lowe's. $25 minimum and loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2 p.m. Subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. Terms at lowes.com slash shipping terms. Losing weight can feel like a roller coaster. Full of ups, downs, and being thrown for loops. Like when someone brings donuts into the office. Or your kids' dino nuggets start giving you that look again. That's why there's Noom. They combine GLP-1s to quiet the food noise with healthy habits that help you keep it quiet, even if you get off the meds.

1:07Their program is designed to make weight loss a smooth ride, helping you understand what drives you, so you can build better habits to not just lose weight, but keep it off. Noom. Lose for keeps. Get started at Noom.com. Not all customers will clinically qualify for medications. Individual results may vary. Hi, this is Paige from Giggly Squad, and today's episode is brought to you by McDonald's. Honestly, Caesar sauce and a Diet Coke at McDonald's might be the perfect girl dinner. And McCrispy strips dipped in Caesar sauce? No notes. Right now at participating McDonald's, the$2.99 Caesar snack wrap is making me rethink my entire go-to order.

1:47Caesar sauce is at participating McDonald's for a limited time, so go try it before it's gone. Prices and participation may vary. Hi all, this is Kim and Penn Holderness from Lifeline. Summer is here, which means it's officially travel season. And when you're out there making plans, you need somewhere reliable to stay. That's why Best Western is such a solid option. This summer, get 1 ,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250 ,000 bonus points. So wherever you're headed, make it count with this limited time offer. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at bestwestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps.

2:18See bonus points, T's and C's and sweeps rules for details and visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions. I'm Jake Stauk, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters.

2:59With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash tickets. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash tickets.

3:42or let the discovery come to you. Poshmark makes it easy to find what you actually want to wear at prices that feel like a quiet win. Download the Poshmark app today and use code AUDIO10 when you sign up to get$10 off your first purchase.

4:11welcome back to Pete's Film Club if you missed last week's episode we reviewed the fantastic film Kicking and Screaming at Will Ferrell at his most average and somehow Robert Duvall is involved as well you missed another Robert Duvall football film No, I saw the one that he did with Ali McCoy. Yes, exactly. Was he... Was he... You enjoyed that one, or what did you enjoy that one as well? Was he as confused in Kicking and Screaming as he was in... He seemed a little bit more focused, I would say. Yeah. Was he... But he wasn't doing a Scottish accent. No. That was stunning stuff when he was in that one.

4:40He was like, I want you to play the game. And it was like he was going, do I sound Scottish there? The whole time he was kind of checking himself. Yeah. Robert DeVal you're talking about. Robert DeVal got out there. well we finally got you in front of a TV screen I really thought I'd got away with all this I know to watch I thought you thought you had as well and that's what makes it all the better that you didn't we're going to be reviewing a film that I watched over the weekend I think you watched it a little bit earlier in the week I watched it the moment I knew I had to to get it out of the way and then the final I didn't bottle of wine we're mine and the the final domino fell with Marcus Speller last night I had a bottle of Bailey's I'm on.

5:23Turn a man to drink. Yes, the film we're going to be reviewing is Golden Shoes. Released in 2015, its tagline is, The Greatest Goal is Believing. Roll the trailer, Marcus. I miss Dad. Me too, honey. When can you watch me play? I'll cheer you up by buying you a new pair of soccer shoes. Tell me why you think I should put you in. I want to show my dad there's a reason to come home. I'm looking for something on sale or even free. Think, think cheap. Seriously? I know they're a little odd looking, but just give them a try. You'll let Christian have a go. Mr. President, you should take a look at this.

6:03I have a heartfelt story of a young American boy who lost his dad in the war. Yet through sheer determination, this boy rose to his full potential. In order to get better, you must practice. I will do everything in my power to find his dad in the war. I've got a soccer game to catch. I mean, that is kind of the plot of the movie there, isn't it? That is the whole thing. They've given it all away. Yeah, I mean, well done to Kev on Discord for coming up with this title. Because it's that beautiful kind of intersection between like really slightly maudlin kind of like saccharine nonsense. And then terrible football.

6:42And again, once again, as we've seen so many times through this Pizza Film Club experience this summer. people don't seem to know much about football and yet they seem absolutely fine with writing a football film it's absolutely astonishing it's amazing stuff isn't it and to give those of you who haven't seen the movie an idea of what it's like as a viewing experience this is not a Hollywood movie it's way way below that production level I think it probably doesn't even meet the threshold of a Hallmark movie it's closer to that it feels like a college film like the sort of film you would do as you're kind of learning to do something it feels like someone has gone I'll give you a camera Eric Roberts will do anything you want and everything else you've got to figure out yourself yeah I mean we'll get to the cast of Sunby but Eric Roberts is the main kind of name title he's obviously Julia Roberts' brother and he I forgot that he's got like he's got one of those you know like Julia Roberts has got she's known for her lips isn't she He's got the lips.

7:48And he's got the lips. But his kind of version of the lips, like he's eating his own lips out. Do you know what I mean? Like he had no lips and then he suddenly went, and my teeth are free. Do you know what I mean? It just looks like he's eating his own face off. To chew through it. To chew through his own face to make a mouthful. And my teeth are free. And my teeth are free. But he's famously someone who does more films than anyone else in Hollywood. He's got over 700 credits. And obviously if he does, he clearly does anything. I think you just need to ask him, Do you want to know some of the choice titles he's been in?

8:19Yeah. Stalked by my doctor. On the nose, that one. MMA cop. MMA cop. Chicks dig gay guys. Right. Nice. Sharktopus. Yeah. The President Must Die, Time Zero and of course The Dark Knight. He's in the Dark Knight. He's in the Dark Knight. He is in the Dark Knight. He's in the Dark Knight. I just sort of think... He just loves acting. I like this though. Yeah. It's a bit like to me, Eric Roberts is the type of guy... Is Chris Waddle playing Sunday League? Yeah. Exactly. exactly what I was going to say when you or like when David Beckham turns up at the the goals in West London under the Westway or something like that or Paul Scholes you see him on like a six a side pitch it's totally it's totally that he was in 74 films in 2017 along Eric Robert that is incredible that's it I will say that he does lend a little bit of presence to a film with absolutely none like he he has got a bit of stillness he has got that something that has allowed him to sort of perform at the this level but even this was this was yeah yeah he couldn't save this no no nobody could say the script was was a challenge for every actor in this no but there was but there are some some names in it which we'll get to sorry I don't want to jump ahead but Eric I mean so so that's so the plot goes that Christian the little boy who as I said in the main show yesterday he plays for a local youth team he looks like caca and he plays for the local youth team Northern Stars his inspiration is Cristiano Ronaldo and the film starts with him watching some some highlights from a football match involving one Cristiano Ronaldo.

9:50Well, it's Portugal, North Korea. It's Portugal, North Korea. In the 2014 film. That's right, Raleigh. It's legitimately the best part of the film. Yeah. And it's also probably the most expensive part as well to get the rights of the footage of that. I mean, how have they got the Ronaldo footage? I mean, so he scores in the 87th minute against North Korea. And the way that the commentator that's been dubbed over the original commentary is just, you know, oh, you know, he's the most incredible footballer. And at that point, he probably was. To be fair, like, yeah. But he was playing against North Korea.

10:19Well, yeah. They were at a 32-team World Cup. And also, his dad's off in an unspecified war, isn't he? It's a good point, actually. So perhaps there's some sort of parallel there. We're the good guys, they're the baddies. He goes on to sort of... Ronaldo scores a goal and he celebrates or whatever and he basically says I want to be I want to play for my national team to his mum so the line's much funnier than that isn't it because he's not getting in the team and he's basically I'm fed up with this I want to play for the national team instead I know yeah rather than being rather than not getting off the bench I can't play for my little league side because they don't rate me but he is what 9 or 10 years old something like that and he wants to play for his name he doesn't want to be a ball boy he wants to play for the national team but he's kind of a ball boy for his local as you say it's not even a school team is it just over the past Little League.

11:14Little League. Little League. Little League. And he basically, he doesn't show, and then they score another goal at Portugal. And he, and I think they sort of say, they make out that he scored at Cristiano Ronaldo. Yeah. But it wasn't. It was, it was Tiago. I bet he's counting it though. It was Tiago scored the last goal. I scored a goal in this movie actually. You've got to put that on the tally. Yeah, this should, if I haven't, this should be under the inaccuracies. Right. Yeah, I think so. Respect the footage that you've paid for But yeah So he basically says Watch this mum Instead of showing you the instant replay I'm going to recreate this The goal of the squad Yeah because she's out the room And she goes Oh I'll see the replay And he goes No no no I'll do it for you I'll do it for you And he throws a ball up in the air And basically kicks the ball Through a window Yep And she's fine with it Yeah She's absolutely fine with it But you know who's not fine with it?

12:04Thiago Who scored that goal No the guy who fixes the window Well Do you not remember our business? No That's what I mean Right That's how mantle that scene is. He boots the ball. He knows exactly what he's going to do. He's using a heavy outdoor football in a tiny room where it's obviously going to go through the window. And by the sounds of it, it's happened regularly. And the mum just goes, oh, you little scamp. And then she phones up the bloke who's going to fix the window. And the little boy says, he's going to be annoyed. And she'll be like, he's fine. And then she's talking to him. And then he goes, oh, he is annoyed.

12:34Why? Well, he's doing it all the time. Yeah, but it's business, Jim. That's repeat business. He's sending his kids through college. Jim crying out loud it's just business you've got to have conflict in a scene right so they were just like yeah just make him annoyed yeah make him annoyed in this situation fine okay well that's the opener of the film that's the opener and we're in we're strapped and it's shot like a soap opera isn't it it really feels like a soap opera in this moment because actually and I think this is something that goes through the film that makes it a tough watch is it's established early on to the viewer that the soundtrack is going to be mad because it feels like a soap opera It almost feels like a sort of church organist has played like an old, like cheap Yamaha keyboard along to it live once.

13:18And then they've just like, yeah, that's no second take. That's the soundtrack. That'll do, that'll do. But again though, talking about some of the actors, Dina Meyer's the mum. Yes. You know Dina Meyer. She was in... Starship Troopers. Yeah, but she was also the lead female character in Johnny Mnemonic. All right, yeah. When I see her, I think Starship Troopers. Right, okay. and an episode of Friends. Okay, I could see that. I could see that. It's amazing how accessible proper actors are, isn't it? Well, it is. Yeah. Well, and who's the neighbour who eventually gets involved? What's his name?

13:55He's Gimli in the Lord of the Rings movies. John Rhys-Davies. That's right, John Rhys-Davies. And he plays that guy in... The Egyptian guy in Indiana Jones. Yes. In the original Indiana Jones. I think he's in one of the later ones as well. He also played Professor Maximilian Arturo in Sliders, if anyone remembers Sliders, probably like Saturday afternoon. I was just saying, there's proper actors in there. ITV sci-fi show. But I like on this one, he's sort of going, I'm going to use my sort of transatlantic Welsh accent. He's Scottish, is he not in this? I think he's supposed to be Scottish, but I don't know.

14:25It's not a great Scottish impression. So is this a nod to Robert Duvall? Possibly, yeah. A tribute to Robert Duvall in Playing for Keeps or whatever it was called. No, that was Bernard Butler all over the place. Gerard Butler. Gerard Butler. Was it not a shot at glory? Shot at glory. That's right. That's what Pete's Film Club does to you. But because he's basically shit at football, he begins to show promise when his mother discovers that his father's been declared MIA in Afghanistan. So it was Afghanistan. It is Afghanistan. Is that ever stated? I don't think it was. I thought it was just an unspecified war.

14:57Right, okay. Well, maybe. I found it very hard. The bottle of wine. I found it very hard to pay attention to this one because it was absolutely mad. she hears the news about the dad being found MIA in possibly Afghanistan possibly not when she hears the news she gets distracted and has a car accident she hears the news because she answers her phone while she's driving she'll be doing that get yourself hands free she's a mess this woman she's not got any boundaries for her kids kid kid but you know she answers the phone while driving yeah but so like what I absolutely abhor about these shite films is what we've told you about the characters that's it there is zero character development there's absolutely nothing there's no tension there's no nothing in this film if you've watched the first two and a half minutes of this film you've basically seen the whole thing which is so frustrating and what's funny about it right we know from the trailer that we've heard we know the premise is that he essentially finds a pair of magic shoes yeah Yeah, even that.

16:05But that's what I mean. They're kind of barely in it. The whole thing is like, oh, you should believe in yourself a bit more and then the success will come. But they're just like a minor... It's a pair of magic football boots. Lotto did well out of this film. There was a lot of Lotto on show. A pair of magic football boots, which, by the way, aren't golden. They're close to being golden. They're more a bronze for me. They're kind of dirty, aren't they? Yeah, we'll get to that scene. I don't want to jump ahead and ruin this for everybody. But even with the magic shoes, which the whole point is him, you know, learning to believe in himself, it's not really...

16:45It doesn't really happen, does it? There's no growth there in the character, despite this device there for it. Nothing like that. And all the boots do is add a little bit more bend on the board. But early on, though, when he breaks the window and he goes outside, what I love is Eric Roberts' character. Straight on the scene, because he turns up, And even though, I mean, how old is Eric Roberts these days? He's 70. He's 70, so great head of hair. Still horny as hell. Yeah, exactly. And he basically, again, you've heard the first few sentences that character utters. You've then seen his character throughout the whole film.

17:21He sort of goes, hey, kid, you're a little loser, and your daddy's a loser and he's away, but I want to get off with your mother. That's basically it. Yeah, but there's no subtlety about that, is there? not like he's trying to quietly undermine Christian he's like actively bullying him for every opportunity but so he has to live with him though doesn't he Christian has to live with Eric Roberts' character because his mum's in the hospital and she for some reason can't have visitors so he's just sort of stuck with horrible neighbour Eric Roberts so at the point that at the point that she gets distracted and her car gets wrecked she's in a hospital and that's the last we see of mum and son ever interacting through the whole of this film it's incredible apart from the final scene so yeah like you say Christian's left in the care of his neighbour Frank Eric Roberts Frank who just wants to get with Christian's mum but even then he doesn't try that out yeah it's like he's probably got a list somewhere and she's on it but it's but the negotiation of but it's not a huge priority but what I like about it is like do we ever hear do we ever hear that that that that what's his name Eric Roberts Frank Granger does he have a job Frank Granger he sounds like so that of bloody Grange Hill yeah I mean oh Mr.

18:38Granger yeah get off my mum he's just got a lot of free time to really to really lay it on thick on the on the kid's mum yeah and the kid but he some suggestion that he's an investor in this local team right so he sort of he behaves like the puppet master of the manager who is played by the son of Dom DeLuise and looks a lot like him. But why is he angry, though? Yeah, this is never clear. No, it is. In a sentence uttered between the young lad who's the main guy in it and the slightly chubby goalkeeper who's always got Snickers bars down his pants. Because the character Frank Granger's wife died.

19:21Yeah. His wife died. And he's got two sons himself. It must have been incredibly traumatic for them. It must have been awful. And he's now turned into a... to do it. No, he's tend to do it. A slightly horny, miserable guy who wants to make this young lad's Christian's life a misery. I mean, none of it makes... The character note feels like his wife died, but he's over it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, totally. In fact, he's almost like glad it happened. Yeah, whatever. He must know the effect of loss on his kids. Totally. And I have no idea why Frank Granger has suddenly taken charge of this child.

19:57Because the conversation goes like this. There's a list of people. The dad is MIAing Afghanistan, as we've mentioned. The mum's obviously in hospital. You're next. You're on the list for people who can look after this child. And it's just accepted. But people, I don't get... Do I get any money for this? What's going on? But what I don't get about Frank Granger, played by the beautiful, big-lipped Eric Roberts, is the fact that he's kind of... Like, there's about 20 % of him is a really good Samaritan. Yes. Because at no point does he ever question anything. even when at the start of the film the mum says, oh, can you take him to soccer practice?

20:35He's just straight away, yeah, no bother. I'll make sure he gets there. I'll make sure he gets home all right. I'll slag him off and I'll basically... Undermine the dad. Yeah, I'll bully him a bit and, you know, stick the boot in. Oh, by the way, can he come and stay with you for an undetermined amount of time? Yeah, that's it. No bother. I'll give him a shite mattress in the basement and I'll try and nick his football boots. But absolutely, he can come and stay with me. I'll even buy him a burger and chips with the other boys. It's something like madness. it's confused because as I say there's like 20 % of him which is like a decent bloke for doing all that stuff absolutely unquestioned and yet he's also got ulterior motives he does but like a bit in a really relaxed I don't why are you trying to slag off oh he doesn't like the son because he thinks he might be better at football than his son than his two horrible little pig children yeah yeah yeah

21:28This is Liv Perez from Let's Get Dressed, and one thing fashion has taught me is that the smallest details are often what makes something feel truly special. The weight of a fabric, the click of a clasp, or the way a beautifully tailored piece moves. Lexus approaches craftsmanship the exact same way. Their master craftsmen, called Takumi, evaluate sensory details like the sound of a door closing, the click of a switch, and the acoustic feedback of the controls. They use human perception and intuition to create what feels right, and that's engineering to be felt. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing.

22:02Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer.

22:09Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back-to-school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back-to-school must-haves at Whole Foods Market in-store or online. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working.

22:52While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash tickets.

23:31That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash tickets.

23:39This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast.

24:34with himself these days. I think he does quite a lot of charity work, which just feels like charity work. Yes, he does, yeah. He's 70 as well. Yeah, he wasn't very well for a while. But when Christian cleans these dirty old boots that Mr. Mercury Montel Williams has given him, they turn out to be golden boots, but not quite golden boots. My favourite thing about how this plays out as well, and a perfect example of how confusing this movie is, is that when he puts the magic football boots on, he starts scoring loads of headers. because it helps with the positioning so he takes him to and also as well the lad Christian has a good pair of Nike football boots that are better he doesn't need boots no he doesn't need boots you're right yeah he's got his football boots but anyway you know Frank Granger obviously he's like hey kid I'm going to take you to buy some football boots because I'm confusingly sort of nice yeah because when I do this I'm going to get off with your mum at some point maybe that's what really makes for the terror though being confusing like you can't I can never judge when it's going to happen is he a bit like what's the Austrian actor's name who plays in Inglourious Bars Christoph Waltz Christoph Waltz at the start of that where he's a bit like oh is he kind of like oh is that what he's going for do you think maybe I think he's missed the mark unpredictable he's an experienced actor true so he can go for a lot of different things I reckon he was told just do what you want when he turned up on set I think they probably had him for like two days just one take I've got to do another three movies today feels like it's been done in three days well anyway he takes him to the shop selling the boots and obviously you've got them all lined up and Montel turns up obviously and Montel can kind of see that Frank Granger's being a dick to this young lad Christian he can see it and he's like yeah can you get him a pair of boots but none of the good ones the ones that cuts nothing yeah he keeps trying to get them for free yeah he basically is trying to undermine everybody he interacts with and Montel Paul's character picks up on this and brings out these pair of boots that are a lotto sort of gold, bronzy boots, but are caked in mud.

26:38Yes. Why are they caked in mud? Because you don't see the magic. But then there's a little, almost like on Knight Rider, like a little glint of the gold. Yes. And so, you know, Christian sort of looks at them. And Montel looks gutted because I think he wants to help the kid. Yeah. He's a bit like, but, you know, I can't give you free boots. I can't give you free boots. Looks like you are going to have to just be continued to be bullied by this bloke. Again, there's nobody kind of interjects at any point. Because even the other neighbour, the sort of faux Scottish guy played by John Rhys-Davies, he kind of interacts with him because he's getting annoyed that he keeps kicking the football off his fence.

27:16And you think at some point he's going to come to the rescue. Because Christian's bad at football, isn't he? Which is one of the redeeming qualities of it. I suppose if you squint quite funny, that it's this movie about this guy who's got this ambition to play for the national team and he's demonstrably terrible. Well, do you know what? So this is where I'm going to slightly break rank and say that of all these football films that Pete's Film Club has dredged up... Subjected us to. Yes. I would say, given the context, given that it's Little League, given how shite it is and all the other films, blah-de-blah-de-blah, the football scenes in this, given the context, are somewhat more realistic than some of the other films.

28:01I agree, but it's only because they didn't bother to choreograph them. It just got them to play football. It looked natural. It looked pretty good at that level, but only because the director's just saying, I should play some football and we'll film it. Yeah. So therefore, it looks more natural, as you say. Where I would push back on that, Marcus, is once he's got his magic golden... How can you push back on Magic Golden? As soon as you get the Magic Golden moves, the digital football's coming. Once he puts on his golden shoes that are neither golden nor shoes I think he scores an overhead kick which is very obviously CGI So that was a bit silly And also when he's taking it round players they're basically just falling out the way of him really obviously which again it's very difficult to do that and they're just kids and they're probably in one take What about the first penalty that was given in that by the guy who looked a bit like a young Howard Webb who kept popping up and refereeing That one was a disgrace That one Peter was right go through and you foul him and he doesn't the defender clearly gets all of the ball and I think they've just gone ah bollocks that'll do yeah the the the football graphics kind of ruin it for me because you're a graphics guy well I'm a graphics guy the scenes where he's kind of practicing and taking shots at his his own fence and stuff in his back garden and stuff they apparently the company that did it was Labyrinth Cinematic Solutions okay who do a lot of Indian cinema they're based in Mumbai and and they also did the last day of the movie as well right and they seem to have spent a bit more time on that Statham movie than the actual football because it's always quite hard to do I think it's one of the more challenging sort of things because it's a soul focus where everybody's looking at the same time and it's got to look natural but these balls as they're flying off his feet and curving around and stuff they look atrocious don't they?

29:41They really do. It reminded me of one of those iPhone games where you sort of curl free kicks in and had the same sort of unnatural movement. It came to Roberto Baggio's magical kicks. But all that stuff is just the least of the worries because again, there's zero character development. There's zero, there's just nothing. It's so shit. And when they go to the Little League practice and they play the games and obviously he starts getting better with these boots, the coach who's, you know, doing his thing. But so he's actually one of the best things in it, I think, the coach. Because he's the son of Dom DeLuise.

30:10He's like a sort of, you know, very, very old American actor. Wore a lot of loud shirts and was generally quite fun. I think he's got a natural charm and likability that makes him a sort of welcome presence when he's on screen. I would think so. Yeah, so that's fair. But then, of course, you've got old, what's his name? Frank Granger sitting very close to him on the bench. I hate this kid. Yeah, exactly. With the most wooden lines. Bearing in mind he's an incredibly experienced actor. I mean, Eric Roberts must have thought, I'm going to have a laugh at this. My mates are going to find this hilarious.

30:43He's having a good time. Totally. And then he starts saying, I'm going to withdraw funding from this team because he basically starts playing this lad, Christian, who starts tearing it up. And attracting the local press. Inexplicably running full page spreads on a Little League football team. The pictures are the whole newspaper. It's incredible. Front page stuff. And also, confusingly, they lose every game for a while. But the coach says at the end of them, we're just one game from the finals. What is the system of this league? This lot of top of the league. If we can beat them, we're going to go top.

31:20Is it like a ladder in tennis? If you just beat the top one, then you go up to the top. Up you go. Yeah, maybe it is. Maybe it is. But then the president of the United States gets involved. Yeah, so Christian leads the team to the final of the regional championship for the first time. The story reaches the US president, played by John Wesley Shipp, who calls a press conference in which he tells Christian's story and vows to find Christian's father before the game. Yeah, find him anyway. Find him anyway. You've got soldiers missing in action. what is the US military why weren't you looking no man gets left behind that kind of thing and they've been they are up against it yeah and you see it as well they're in their little bunker yeah there are scenes in the war when it cut to the first scene in Afghanistan I lost my shit I was like oh wow I thought this was going to be bad but this is this is going to be an absolute riot I'm going to have a great time so Pete you're a military man as we know what was the bit so that they are up against it they're up against it they're surrounded yeah they're surrounded they've got no ammo left yeah and the newest army are like and it sounds like they've been there for days but fortunately Christian's got his boots on so they think it's probably worth saving these guys so they send in the helicopters and all that and they get them out but what is the bit when they are the chips are down and the guy goes we need to release the dragonflies oh yeah what's that is it a drone because it doesn't come back to it does it no and they open the and these little dragonflies fly out and I know obviously with you know military equipment and so on you've got cameras or you've got this I thought oh my goodness we're going to hear some big explosions now I feel like that's you're for it now enemy I feel like that's deleted scenes or maybe the CGI people just couldn't do look you can either have a football but what were they for did they go back did they go back to base and go oh by the way we're buggered we're here they've released the dragonflies they really are they really do need the helicopters to come in and save us do you reckon that is was just like a kind of digital kind of flare sort of telling people where they are.

33:19Maybe. But then people didn't know where they were. No. But yet, as soon as Christian gets to the final and the president's like, we need a good, we need, because the nation, apparently the morale is low. We need something to pick us up. Do you know what? Let's go and find those soldiers. There is a great line about that. So when Christian's mum is in hospital, she has this nurse hanging out with her all the time and she spouts a lot of wisdom in a slightly tropey, uncomfortable way. It's the black lady wisdom trope. Yeah, absolutely. Very much. She was in the Kill Bill movies. Yes, she was, yeah.

33:52The actor that played her. There's a line where they're watching a news report about this war, and she goes, those wars are taking a toll on all of us. Enough already. Yeah. Especially the soldiers are in it. Yeah, so it's sort of three scenes, really. It's like where it's Afghanistan or wherever, it's whatever's happening with the boy, and the scenes where the mum has seemingly broken her leg and her arm, has got a few bruises on her but seems absolutely fine in every other way. Some of the most underwhelming hospital set dressing you'll ever see in a film. And she seemingly doesn't have a phone.

34:28No. I mean, this is set in the modern day. The nurse keeps telling her in different sort of down-home folksy ways that she's a good mother. Yeah. And that if Christian's doing well in these games, which are on TV, by the way, even before the president gets involved. I think it was on Satanta Sports. She just keeps saying he's doing well at this football lark because of the power of good motherhood and you. And yet she never thinks, I should probably get out of here, to be honest. Or let him come and see me. Maybe she's thinking I'm safe from old Frank Granger. Might it be actually that there's a plot point that's not coming through, that Frank's not letting him visit her.

35:10Because at one point he tries to make a secret phone call, doesn't he? But Frank catches him, and Eric Roberts has the most amazing line, which is, ordering a pizza with mushrooms. It's like, why? Do you remember what the lad says? He goes, I don't like mushrooms. He walks off. That's meant to be like a quippy moment in the movie, I think. Why have you gone so specific about fake pizza? The only true comedy character I think you could say is the goalkeeper. Yes. The young lad with his chocolate in his pants. Snickers and his sneakers. Yeah, I guess so, yeah. Because he's not bothered by the whole thing.

35:44No, but Frank all the way through is just trying to scheme. He tries to steal his football boots at one point. He locks him before the regional final. He locks him in the basement. And then finally... And then finally the... John Rhys-Davies is carried out. John Rhys-Davies pops over from next door. And it turns out that he used to hate football, didn't he? And that's part of the reason he didn't like Christian repeatedly booting a ball into his garden. But he used to be a really talented player. Yes. And did he have an injury? I believe so, yeah. And had to turn his back on the game and it was painful for him.

36:12For whatever reason, I think they're getting in the car and they go into Rich Davis's garage and there's a load of some of the most amateur trophies you've ever seen in your life. All stuff that they bought from a high street trophy slinger. Because Eric Roberts has got all the budget. Because Eric Roberts has got all the budget. And knows it. It's amazing. But he manages to get to the final. He manages to get to the final. And Eric Roberts has locked him in the basement to stop this happening, hasn't he? Because he wants his own kids to succeed. Yeah. And so he managed to play it in the final.

36:49But oddly, though, Frank Granger, I thought, was going to have a redemption arc here. Yeah. Because in the final, the young lad Christian turns up, thanks to the character played by John Rhys-Davis, who sort of saves the day. But again, when he saves the day, he basically goes, yeah, I used to love football because you play it. And his character calls it football early on, by the way. and then it's soccer for the rest of the thing. And he goes, oh, but then I had an injury and I couldn't play at international level or whatever he said, and then humbug. But you know what? Yeah, I'll give you a lift to the game.

37:21But again, there's no sort of character development. There's no nothing there. So he turns up and then Christian comes on. But Frank Granger seems to be all right with that because I think it's almost as if he finally is twigged. Yeah, this lad is going to win the game for us. And I have invested in it as well. No, but he's withdrawn his investment. He's asking the coach I need my money back Right, sorry And the coach I think Hands him the money At some point But when Christian scores Frank Grange is celebrating Yeah He seems happy And I thought Oh hang on a minute here And then Dina Meyer's character And the father He's still in his fatigue He's still in his Still in his Still in the exact same get up Where they were under Enemy attack for days They emerge out of the tunnel They emerge out of the tunnel He must have been honking Not a time for a shower Well And so they see each other For the first time so they are reunited, wife and husband.

38:13And then Christian comes over, doesn't seem that bothered by their presence, but okay, he's a kid actor. A lot of emotions. Fine. He's a kid actor with the same surname as the guy who wrote the script. Make that clear.

38:32Incredibly. It's amazing we've taken this long to say that. But in fitting with the film, it's a throwaway line. tucked in there which is actually vitally important to the whole thing and Frank Granger turns up it turns it walks into the scene and I'm thinking oh is he going to say hey it's good to have you back you've got a fine woman there and your kid can play suck a ball I'm off to invest in another team or something no that doesn't happen he turns up he goes to say something Dina Meyer's character gives him an uppercut oh yeah knocks him out what I love about that is from her point of view yeah The last thing that he did was take in her son while she was in hospital.

39:13She's completely unaware about any of the other stuff that's going on. Where she's just like, you know what? Maybe that's why. Can't make DM. I don't like this guy. I'm just going to chin him. He's tried it on with me. That's for being horny. Yeah. Again, the plot. All she seems to know about him is he fancies me and wants to completely undermine and ruin my marriage. He's a home wrecker. but he's there. No one else seems to be in the neighbourhood who is capable of taking care of my son. So go on then, fill your boots. But as you say, maybe that's why nobody will look after this child. Because if that's the payment you get...

39:53Did you hear what she did to that widower? Do you know how his grandmother died? Yeah. Socked to the gut. That's what happened. She's a very violent woman and I think that Christian needs to be put into foster care. The president is there. Yeah, she's doing that in front of him. John Wesley Shipp, who I remember thinking, where do I know you from? You go on the Wikipedia page. And I never watched Dawson's Creek, but it was Dawson's Creek that I remembered him from. Right. You know.

40:26Sometimes life will get you stressed out. Lucky you can always count on TextNow. Free talk, free text, free 5G. And they'll never shut you off. Because like I said, it's free. TextNow's got your back Nationwide, no long-term contracts But don't be nervous about losing service TextNow's got your back That's their sense of purpose No matter what comes next You've got free talk and text With the TextNow app Download it today Wireless plans require the purchase of a SIM card Visit TextNow.com for terms and conditions Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie And one thing I've learned is that you buy a house But you make it a home Because with every fix, update, and renovation it becomes a little more your own.

41:06So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. From plumbing to electrical, roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com. If you felt stuck trying to lose weight, you're not alone. Enter Weight Loss by HERS. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals. And HERS now offers access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the WeGovi pill and the WeGovi pen.

41:41Even better, with a range of affordable GLP-1 options, HERS makes it simple to find an approach that fits your needs and your budget, if eligible. You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. It's weight loss designed to work with your life. Ready to reach your goals? Visit forhers.com slash eligible to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash eligible. Forhers.com slash eligible. Weight loss by HERS is not available in all 50 states. Wegovi is the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wegovi clinical study information, and restrictions, visit forhers.com.

42:30so in the final Christian scores two goals to lead his team to victory including an overhead game I think people would have known that why do American soccer films why do Americans love bicycle kicks so much I know they're really exciting but they are you know for football purists it's a sign of desperation and bad positioning isn't it like you're going it's not an ideal thing to do you're too far out from the goal to be having a ball delivered quite high anyway and you're in the wrong place and you have to readjust and it really is just a sign of desperation. Surely, Marcus. I love a bicycle kick.

43:02I know what you mean. I do know what you mean. It's improvising. Yeah, I suppose it's not a sign of a good team. I suppose it's the most far-fetched and mad thing that you can do in football. Yeah, I can see why objectively to look at a bicycle kick, it's a beautiful thing. But if you think about the sports that are most popular in America, you can't... I'll probably be shot down in flames here. I think football, you can do more spectacular things in football than maybe some other things. I agree. In NFL, for example, is there an equivalent of an overhead kick? I don't think there is. Is it like jumping on someone's head and pushing their head down and doing like a star jump over the top of them?

43:45Maybe. The only thing I can think is in American football, was there not a – this is probably some CGI bollocks or Hollywood bollocks I fell for on any given Sunday or something, but was there not a time when a player ran through and he did a somersault over a player who went to tackle it? Right, yeah. Or maybe he got hit in a certain angle and he managed to sort of ride it out or something. Whatever it was. But that's like, you're not doing that as a part of the game because that would be a stupid and incredibly risky thing to do for your own health. Baseball, you know, the bat's doing all the work.

44:17And then... Spinning your finger on a basketball? So basketball would be the only one where you think, you know, maybe some sort of pass and whatnot. Backwards trick shot thing people do. Not sure they do that in actual games. But that is sort of, I suppose, the equivalent, isn't it? Of a bicycle kick where you're not looking. Yeah, but I think if you don't know the game of football, what, say, Cristiano Ronaldo or Neymar or whatever can do with a football, even as a football fan of many, many years, it's mad what they can do, right? And I suppose the overhead kick is seen as the most crazy thing one could do.

44:49I remember the film we did once on your film club, Peter, where it was Pele and that other guy. I can't remember the name of it. But do you remember he went to Brazil to hang out with Pele? Yes. And presumably suck up some of the magic. And Pele does a bicycle kick in that. He does an overhead kick. And the guy looked at him and went, oh, I always wondered how you did that. I said, what do you mean? You can see how you did it.

45:17So I don't know. there's this mystique about the overhead kick did you the overhead kick recipe so there we are yeah I mean it's the whole kind of vibe is remember when they did that film about Hunter Biden some like right wing sort of bloggers like did put a bit of money in a pot and they got Lawrence Fox to play Hunter Biden and I think it was Gina Carano on the UFC woman was in it as well who's been cancelled for being a wrong one. And so it's got that vibe to it. It's very empty. The sets are awful. It's just generally a terrible piece of work. It was called My Son Hunter, apparently. Yeah, okay, right.

46:01But I mean, it's just absolutely wild. Some of my favourite scenes is the fact that Eric Roberts locks the main protagonist in the basement. Christian Lurie. Yeah. So it's to stop him playing football. and then he goes to the football and he basically goes to the final and he says oh yeah that kid's got a fever trying to get rid of the fever but he said sorry you left a kid with a fever in a basement in a basement by himself or just in your house by himself while you go to the football so he's locked in the basement obviously yeah obviously they've liberated his shoes they've taken his shoes so that one of the twins can wear them do one of the twins wear them?

46:39well I presume that was the whole plan they don't even do they just don't revisit that bit they just want him not to play well but he didn't seem to care about his kids. It's very strange. Because Frank Granger had crept into his room while he wasn't there and while he was asleep and tried to take the boots from him. Yeah, that particular story beat happens like three or four times, doesn't it? It's odd. He's trying to get his shoes on. And obviously Christian is aware of this because there's one scene where Christian's actually wearing his boots in bed as if to say, how are you going to get these Frankie babies?

47:10I'm trying to break into a little boy's bedroom to steal his clothes. taking boots off his feet is a line I will not cross yeah because at one point he picks up the boots and Christian looks at him and he's like yeah I'm just making sure they were clean and it's like you're doing everything else you've chucked him in the basement you won't let him speak to his mother but as you say Jim we'll draw the line somewhere so yeah not only is he locked in the basement his precious magical well slightly magical boots that can put a bit of bend on the ball have been taken. Have been taken. So he actually turns up to the final when he actually manages to break out of the basement.

47:49He turns up sans magic boots. He's only got his normal boots. His normal modern Nike boots. His normal modern Nike boots. Yeah. And there's a bit where the Marines are getting extracted and there's like guns going on and there's helicopters and all that stuff. And they're getting extracted and they stand on top of like a massive mound and they're not even stooping. They're just going, oh we're free now yeah brilliant and they're on the top of a hill you're going to get your head blown off rule 1-0-1 they're stupid at least there's a great bit as well when the game's going on and various people are watching it on TV including people in the army base yeah great stuff you know it's a donation love that the manager of the little league side at one point has two whistles and to celebrate he sort of does like a sort of you know like a a sort of burlesque dancer would do like a a tassel twirl twirl with two of his whistles it's good stuff it's just good stuff any more for any sort of scenes that really stick out to you?

48:56anything that kind of you really enjoyed? I mean the CGI is awful I think Labyrinth Cinematic Solutions should hang their heads I can't believe they managed to get such kind of who is this film for? such tenured artists to get involved in it there's loads of green screen in it as well at times where people are sometimes just in a room. It's like they're in a normal room, but they've done it on a green screen. Yeah, it just... It's fascinating how this movie has come into existence. £3.49. Feels like some sort of... £3.49 an hour. You know what my takeaway was that? Why are we still doing that thing with the penny?

49:34Yeah. £3.50,£3.49. There's a bit where at the end, I think you see a scene of them just playing a bit of football. after the event, I think, and one of the little, one of the twins, I think, one of the, Eric Roberts' kids says, I've still got your, I've still got your golden boots to the main guy. And he, and he's supposed to say, I don't need him anymore because I'm an amazing footballer now. That's how that would usually work. You know, all I needed was a little bit of heart, a little bit of confidence, just need my dad back. But instead he says, I just bring him in sometime. Just fucking admin.

50:06Just shitty admin at the end of the film. They are mine. They are mine. so giving them back surely like surely he should have said something about I'm going to get my dad on you yeah or your dad exactly yeah well he's already got his mum on him like true enough imagine what the dad could do I know right he's a military man yeah not a very good one though got captured didn't he no no they never got captured they got pinned down right okay missing an action there's rumours here we go of a Golden Boots 2 no there isn't there's rumours of a Golden Boots 2 Norman Corsa Productions the people who put it together he's made a movie called Exit 33 and he's made this movie Golden Shoes he's more famously known as an ATM or credit card processing owner in California no Michigan Michigan he built the largest ATM company in Michigan in less than two years I love it and he's gone on to do this sort of thing well he likes to do things quickly well I try to get him on LinkedIn to see if there was a second film coming but I'm not paying for I'll pay for this but I won't pay for what I will say is that the Christian the main lad who again is 9, 10 years old the football scout was obviously impressed with him and came up to him after the end and then invited him to play for the national team in an upcoming thing now I don't know if it was a youth tournament or whatever either way he'll be about 9 years younger than everybody else but there we are we all like a happy ending that's what we got it quite simply doesn't matter what are we giving this out of 5 stars gentlemen?

51:35even though I had a really good time watching it you simply have to give it one. You have to give it one star. You have to give it, you can't give zero, can you? I think you can give zero, can't you? Zero then. I think Ricky Gervais' new project has garnered a few zeros around. Oh, are you offended? Oh, stop being so offended. What this means is a few more fucks and buggers. It's just a cartoon. It's just a cartoon peek. Just grow up. It's just a cartoon about a kid with football boots. But the point you were making that Gervais' latest thing, people have been giving zero out of five of them. Yeah, I believe so.

52:03So I think you're allowed to sort of do that. You give them zero out of five. then I can definitely give this zero out of five. I give this... Do you know what? I prefer this to Afterlife. For Pete's Film Club, it's a three out of five. The glass of wine, the bottle of wine I drank was five stars. And so, yeah, there we go. Okay. So this is... Sorry. Yeah, I'm forgetting myself. Sorry, everybody. This is within Pete's Film Club, five stars. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Because the boring answer is zero out of five, obviously. Yeah. Oh, it's just zero out of five. Afterlife is zero Minus five out of five This I honestly preferred Watching to Afterlife Yeah I What am I giving this I think Because of the The madness Of Eric Roberts I think Because So goal three Is the worst one We've done Yeah And that was Would we give that zero one It was down there Yeah Even with Pete's Film Club It was It was atrocious I was so angry A fella dies on the pitch Do you remember I don't even remember doing a CGI honestly that one I was furious with you with everybody about that film so I would give this I'd give this one and a half out of five yeah does it change soccer dog would be another one that was your Nadir wasn't it does it change the even the three three hour Bollywood one we watched do you know you're right I'll give it two out of five yeah I think you're right we have to do it within the framework of Pete's Film Club mercifully it was only 90 minutes this year which was a fittingly boon I mean you know what they didn't have bollocks 3 out of 5 go on I'm a 3 out of 5 I'll give 2 and a half do you think it would have been longer if Eric Roberts could have given them another day did you notice that Cristiano Ronaldo was thanked was he in the credits at the end as well and if that isn't a badge of quality I do not know what is quite frankly that is there mate that's our last film club of the summer.

54:04Hooray! You've only been on one. I've won too many. And it was the best film. Thank you very much to Kev. That was the best one. Thank you to Kev for getting in touch and suggesting that one. Absolutely great work. That'll be yours, Kev. Massive thank you to the Football Ramble Discorders as well for selecting our excellent collection. And thank you for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Ocasio-Carrota Network. I'm going to be back tomorrow with Vish and Marcus. How lovely. How lovely that is. Yes. Look forward to that eventually.

54:37The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

55:03shelf. We'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in-store or on lowes.com, right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only.

55:44Learn more or request a prescription at colaguard.com slash podcast. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, My laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked, and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters.

56:23With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash tickets. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash tickets.

56:49Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

57:26For more information, visit www.fema.gov