Please Sir Alex, can I have some milk?

0:00I sit here contented with this cheese on toast everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble Forrest got a huge win And Liam Rosinia's a blue It's Wednesday 7th Jan I'm Marcus Speller I'm David Cartlidge And I'm Pete Donaldson

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1:33What a deal. That's a great deal. Look, it's a January treat. Get on your feet. Grab your credit card. That's February's problem. The credit card bill. Get it on. Much like the guy who sold you that Japanese car said, if anything, I'm losing money on this. Exactly, yeah. The man from Beppo in Japan. Just head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble now. Now then. I I can't imagine I don't want to start with this I can't no no no we have to we have to is this honestly top of the shore we have to start I don't want to start with this I can't imagine any West Ham fans still listen to us no or to listen to anything no they don't even watch their own football team anymore they might listen to us no we're not not the full 90 minutes certainly especially after Luke name-checked the West Ham way earlier that was naughty I mean the only thing I would say for West Ham fans is that we as much as we can as neutrals.

2:30I know your would-be father-in-law is a West Ham fan, of course, Peter. But we do, as again, as much as we sort of can, share in their demoralised state at the moment because it is so piss poor how that club is being run and what's going on. They, of course, lost at home last night to Nottingham Forest 2-1. They're seven points away from safety. And at one point, David, we thought West Ham were 2-0 up in this game and we thought, well, okay, here's something. I mean, I'll tell you how it all transpired for me on the WhatsApp group. When West Ham, it looked like they were going to go 2-0 up. I messaged, Nuno's a very lucky man, but the only side he needs to catch is Sean Dice's forest to stay up.

3:13About half an hour later, or whatever it was, Sean Dice's a very lucky man. Because all he needs to do is to guarantee his survival is better Nuno's West Ham. Once again, they've taken the lead only not to hang on, as they call it. Yes, exactly. David, what did you make of this game? I mean, it's quite remarkable that West Ham really are the only side who can go 2-0 up but lose 2-1. Yeah. It was miserable. I know other clubs have got issues, but it does feel like West Ham are particularly miserable and have been for a long, long time. Yes. I think the stadium's a big factor of that and there was a lot of empty seats last night.

3:51I understand there's a boycott still ongoing. There was people who were in the ground also showing up the red cards. They've been doing that for a while. Yeah, yep. so they've been doing that a while so it's gradually getting more empty as things go on but that place kind of sums up the club in its entirety because it's very soulless cold isolated and it transfers to the fans and on the field as well and it really is just a sad place to be I know we all have a laugh about it and everything like that but it's very sad I think to see the demise of that club since they moved into that ground when we laugh we laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

4:29We're not saying, ah, look at you and you and your club. Because you don't do that. That's piss poor behaviour. But I take your point totally. I mean, Peter, anybody watching that game, I mean, like I say, Forrest are not a good side under Dyche. I know that he's given them a little bit of a lift. And look, they won the game, so you have to give credit there. I think Forrest fans were singing against Dyche during the game. That's how they feel. Well, they were singing Nuno's name at the end of the game as well. For old time's sake, perhaps. But it was, It was like for West Ham, Peter, to go into a run of four games where they have Fulham at home, who were not on a particularly great run.

5:10I know Fulham have produced a few decent results of late, but they had Fulham at home, then Brighton at home, Wolves away, and then Forest at home. You're thinking, right, there's a chance there. And to be very generous, I think if they got six points from that, maybe seven you'd be I mean they would be literally the same as Forest potentially you're thinking well okay one point from those four games but they don't allow themselves to they're not allowing themselves to get out of it the fewest I think they're the fewest chance creators in the league if that's a sentence at this point in time I mean I thought they looked a little bit better I think Pakatar coming back in the side gives a little bit of authority a little bit of age if nothing else I think at this point they really have to sort of look in the same way that when Newcastle last went down just sort of seeing well at least Mike Ashley slash them lot will be taking a financial hit on this one the championships nothing it's a fun league to be in and maybe just watching your team win a few times might bring you know a bit more of a vibe back to the London Stadium if indeed it ever had it so it's it's an interesting time I mean they get their best fullbacks back after AFCON and maybe there's a resurgence there but Is he going to play them on the right side this time?

6:36I mean he doesn't seem to sort of fancy them but that's the only way they're getting out of this because they just need to create more chances Yeah I mean it's going for Aram Bissaka because the AFCON of course went out last night as you were saying and he's got to go back to this and he's thinking you know what I was enjoying this I was having a lovely last game gets a bubble in the eye Ah! Stings! Yeah, I mean the thing is I understand totally why you're saying that. West Ham are seven points from safety and Forrester above them and Forrester not a good side under nice really you would say certainly on last night's show.

7:07I think they're really, really poor. Yeah. And yet, Pete, and I'm sure West Ham fans are probably nodding if indeed they are listening to this already talking about the championship next season. Seven points from safety and you've got what? 17 games left? Yeah. You've got to take? Yeah, but that's... I don't think anyone will back them to stay up. Oh, no, absolutely. But I mean, it could be even sad on next season. I mean, imagine that stadium. That's going to be half full. So that's going to be empty most weeks if they do go down. Millwall might come up, so they might not even have that game.

7:37So they might not even have Millwall to look forward to. But no, in all seriousness, yeah, you do. There is an element there of preparing. But I mean, they've just brought in Tati Castellanos. They spent 27, 28 million on him. You can't prepare for life in the championship. It's not like Wolves' situation. and even Wolves after that victory against West Ham will think you never know but do you trust the people in charge no of course not you don't nobody does they sold rice they sold Kudos they could reinvest the money correctly that squad looks really really bad I mean it is bad Paquette has heads elsewhere he's going to be going to probably Brazil I doubt he'll stay in the Premier League you know there's Bowen will be sold off I mean that'll be a sickener if they go down to the championship I don't like to say because they're already miserable enough as it is but Bowen is not a championship player and that will be such a sickener if indeed he goes.

8:26And I know, again, Could you not see Bowen just sort of, you know, pulling them up? I think he's forlorn. I think he's really fed up. He's got the look of a player who has gone as far as he can there and he needs to go elsewhere to change things up. He's also 29. I mean, if he wants to play, you know, Britain and Ireland are hosting the Euros in 2028. You know, he's been in the England squad a lot. he won't you know a chance for that and so on but look I mean at 29 you want your money that's your money move I thought he would it's less about the England thing but yeah I thought he would have pushed for a move harder last summer I don't know if Danny Dyer's had a word with him in the house or Sunday roast or wherever but I mean this is obviously potentially the bigger picture for West Ham you know and as I say we're projecting a lot of relegation talk on them because they're very much inviting everybody to do so right in the game itself they go a goal up early, which is what you want.

9:23And you know Dice's Forest aren't going to create that much. I know they're kind of decent efforts on goal. Areola makes a great save. It's a lovely one-hander. Beauty. Absolute beautiful save. I mean, if you were going to be a real such-and-such about it, you might say his position, he was slightly off the line. But I mean, again, you're anticipating a cross. I think it's a brilliant save. Get your Winkle Pickles right in the thorax as they go on the floor. But Forest don't create that many chances under dice. I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again. When Fulham played them at Craven Cottage, I was kind of impressed with the discipline Forrest have.

9:59They were high-pressing. It was all good, basic stuff. And they probably shaded it in some regard against Fulham, but they were harrying Fulham and thinking, right, make a mistake, make a mistake. And Fulham didn't really make a mistake. And it was Douglas Luiz who gives away the penalty. Fulham scored 1-0. And Forrest were never really going to score. They were relying on mistakes or a bit of luck because I don't think Dyche knows how to get a tune out of attacking talent with what he's got right now he's relying on Gibbs White just producing something out of nothing I think last week because he's not Gibbs White's not being used correctly so it comes from like kind of individual improvisation that something will have to come from because I don't think Forrest is set up in a way to you know produce anything like you say but again you know we're talking about West Hammon investment as well Forrest spent 200 million yep look where they were 12 months ago their downfalls are quite incredible nobody's showing that picture of Edu with this guy and his mouth on a barbecue anymore, haven't I?

10:52Bloody normal. But this is, so when Forrest do all that, as I say, it will be enough this season, probably, potentially to keep them up because West Ham are so bad. Whereas I think, you know, with Leeds playing well and if West Ham could get going, but I don't think they will. And so, all that stuff I just described how Forrest are playing under Dyche, I mean, West Ham would love a bit of that, I'm sure. But, you know, when West Ham go a goal up and then obviously as the game goes on, Somerville scores and it's one of those very frustrating and irritating offsides where it's not even the assist.

11:21Miles away. Do you know what I mean? You look at that and I understand this is the age we're in. I don't want to go over old ground too much but you do go like, okay, if it's the guy who assists or something but I mean, you're shaking your head, David. You know where I think. Yeah. So it's a sick note. We can move on to the goalkeeper punch next. Again, he knows where I think about that. So it's a sick note, right?

11:47Somerville's goal's chalked off and then a few minutes later, Dominguez scores, which is a fortuitous one. But, you know, okay, fair enough. But it's gone in. And again, it's like a crappy goal for West Ham to concede. And then, of course, you come to the moment where you're thinking, a point isn't really good enough, but a defeat would be so damaging. And an areola punches Gibbs White in the face. You don't think that's a penalty, David? Look where the ball's dropping. Sussex about to head that ball. Right. I'm sorry, but you can't control things like that. That's just the coming together. we can't I guess goalkeepers are allowed to use their hands so I mean I mean they are I mean last time I checked yes they absolutely still are so you're saying if it's like a clash of heads for example so if a defender goes up and tries to nod it away and accidentally like headbutts the it's not really a headbutt but a head clashes clashes the heads with one of the forwards you're thinking oh that's just a coming together that's not going to be given that's literally all it is we're in the age of overanalyzing everything and again and I've said I watch games in real time I don't watch them in slow motion images or still images which people are putting forward all the time it was just a coming together move on it was fine Peter to put another spin on it he did punch him in the head no but I mean I think I am kind of more on David's part of the Speedball 2 Brutal Deluxe vibes of the game he wants to see but you've got to look at his eyes I suppose isn't it he's looking for the ball and he's trying to hit the ball he's not looking to the chin but it's not necessarily that though David's saying it's more that it's not reckless to try and punch the ball or else we can never punch a football can we if the ball was about to drop on Gibbs White's head and Al Areola punches his head sort of thing so it's a direct challenge I've seen those ones where but the ball hits Susek's head this is what I'm saying so the ball actually is away it's not Al Areola punching Gibbs White in the head is actually doesn't in terms of where the ball ends up and the passage of play actually doesn't mean anything to the It has no consequence really Other than obviously the penalty Do you know what I mean?

13:50And so that's presumably Your argument then Is that It didn't affect The passage of play No Absolutely not Like I said I'm sorry I know everybody wants to You know overanalyze And everything like that But it's the simple basics The goalkeeper came for the ball And that was it One of his players Managed to get it before He went to it His eyes were on the ball The entire time I cannot believe That this incident Is just analysed To this extent now It's just a goalkeeper Punch punching the ball out I mean come on punching a guy in the head yeah but it was an oh it was an accident well Thomas Suchik said that he thought it was a joke and he said that we would have 20 penalties per game if it's like that I came to the Premier League because I thought it was the toughest league in the world and we're all fighters and warriors that was never a name love that we seeked out I thought this was the Premier League Sean Dyche said sometimes you need the rub of the green and it went our way for a couple of big decisions he's only rubbing that green so you can get those worms to come out is that what it is I think she's trying to get the worms out nom nom nom nom well Gibbs White who considering what he said he said he was like he was all over the place he got up and he felt a bit dazed he then gets up and takes the penalty and he said I went for a safety penalty just side footed down the middle it was obviously work because it was a goal a sickening way for West Ham to lose the game and when you luck's down you luck's down but it's not just about luck as we've already talked about so So what about Forest?

15:16Because they win that game and one could say, are they sort of slightly vindicated or whatever in their approach again? I mean, they were on a run of four losses. And I know they put the willies up Man City a little bit. But again, they don't look like they're creating too much. Right now, it should be enough for 17th. But you can't be aiming for 17th. Unless you're Burnley or Wolves right now, you can't be aiming for 17th. but looking around the table are they going to finish higher than Leeds at the moment probably not are they going to finish higher than Bournemouth no and then you've got Palace Spurs Everton no so right now Forest are not in a particularly great space and they're not getting this level of look what they just had last night every week no so you know they've got that as well and I mean Calamundo is leaving as well I mean in terms of attacking options they've not got much there right now so somebody's going to have to come in over the next maybe they get Callum Wilson who's leaving West Ham there you go So, Calum, I mean, yeah.

16:15Trying to negotiate the end of his own contract. It's like, Calum. Calum. I really want to help him. Hold on to that sink-inship. Enjoy the championship. Yeah. You could be Leon Best. He really, there you go. There's an idea I haven't heard in a while. Yeah, you're never going to be a football agent, are you? I mean, I remember when he scored against, he scored a couple against, was it, Bournemouth away. One of them a particularly good goal. and he suddenly thought oh hang on he's got a bit between his teeth and he even spoke as a lot of players do well you know what I'm not completely you know he's been he's been doing that for about three years I'm not done yet well sights on the World Cup squad and all that kind of stuff we can all enjoy watching that watching that from our televisions whereas now I mean but when he was subbed off the other week was it the home game against Brighton the fans booed they obviously thought well look because they haven't got any output at least he knows that there is a goal on the pitch do you know what I mean I think for a lot of West Ham fans he kind of sums up the way the clubs run as well in terms of them bringing all the money that they did and then go and get Callum Wilson on a free transfer and I think it's their main fulcrum exactly so I think they just they wanted a bit more ambition I think as a backup striker or something like that if he's on a free fair enough I think he's a canny player he's absolutely a canny player I think he's been very hard done by by injuries when he plays on a consistent run of form which is not often unfortunately he is a good player but they don't create any chances so it's really hard to finish them off.

17:40I mean, I really thought Nuno was going to go. They go into this January transfer window and they're backing him. Now, I understand as well that if you just, you say, all right, get another manager and get another manager, that does cause a lot more disarray and then he's all a bit disjointed. But quite clearly, right now, Nuno's training methods and man management are reportedly, and the reports are coming in thick and fast now, that they are having a detrimental effect on the team. He's distant. There's some players there who said they've hardly spoken to him since he's been there. The training methods are confusing.

18:12When you see some of his squad selections, there's a lot there, which I think, if you're a West Ham fan, you would think, I'd rather twist. I'd rather twist. Because there's no green shoots. They were averaging better results, percentage-wise, under Potter. They've not had any kind of new manager bounce. He's not showing anything. And the words he was saying last night after the game, well, we've got to keep believing. that sounds like a guy who knows the ship is going down very very fast but who comes in well who comes into West Ham in their current steer is David Moyes still in a job is he do you know what I mean it would be like you know because I mean Billich was one who name was mentioned by some fans who were thinking well at least the guy you know will stick a rocket up him or something like that I just think right now with Nuno I cannot see him turning anything around and I think that he looks like a defeated man I agree no honestly I really really do agree but it's just the atmosphere around the club it's all engulfing and whoever comes in next whatever player comes in it doesn't matter there's an atmosphere around that club that is really toxic and miserable get Vita Pereira in there hey come on just saying if you want a striker or a forward player Mikel Antonio has not signed a permanent contract with Leicester yet so you know I think he stopped training with him hasn't he he stopped training yeah yeah yeah why I forget why but I think yeah I think he's yeah he's he's available He's very, very available.

19:39As a player manager, maybe. I don't know. So is Big Sam. I think he might be available as well. Honestly, he'd do a much better job. Everything you've described there about Nuno's training methods makes me think, back to basics, back to Sam. Honestly, David. Back to life, back to reality. Deadly serious. That, honestly, I think would be a way better, that would be way better than what they've got now. What's the Uber Eats release call? Well, I think that's probably the sticking point, isn't it? Okay, nice. Yeah. It's party. there's Pardew coming as part of the deal Pardew would be the jealousy that would develop between those get them all in triple managers I don't know but look the situation is desperate there's still time but it's running out and I don't think too many people have much faith and much hope in them should we go for a break?

20:26yeah coming up after this Gag O 'Neill is off to France

20:40What are the talks specifically about you potentially becoming Chelsea head coach been like? What have you discussed as far as that's concerned? I haven't discussed anything at this point. Like I said before, if something happens, it happens. At the moment, nothing's happened. Liam Rossini, Chelsea head coach, sounds nice, doesn't it? Liam Rossini, Strasbourg manager, sounds nice as well. I know that there's lots of speculation. and I'd have to be an alien not to know. Just the final one from me. Obviously, you've got some time off. I imagine I was discussed. No game now for a week. Could we see you at the Etihad on Sunday night from the stands watching Chelsea?

21:17There's no plans to be there. Craven Cottage on Wednesday? There's no plans to be there. The Valley next weekend? Who knows? The Arsenal semi-final in 10 days? Who knows? What about the football level, everybody? Push your thumb in that, bro. Just first-class journalism, isn't it? Hard talk. Hard talk between Gary Cottrell and Liam Rosina there. Jesus Christ. Hey, but to be fair to Gary, Liam Rosina will be in the stands at Craven Cottage tonight. No, I'm not being fair to Gary Cottrell. He's a fucking tosser. He's fair to GC. How many questions does he get? Yeah, so he's really sort of like, can somebody else ask a question, please?

21:51Do you remember when Keggy was in charge of Newcastle? Of course you do. And I think it was one of the Sky Sports guys was kept asking follow-up. And he went, no, no, no, no. Hang on, you can't hog the questions. Someone else has got to have a go. And he's like, hey! Pass the dutchie. what were the French journalists there thinking just like who's this bloke we usually have free reign with Liam yeah yeah they're thinking we are much so much interest much better off back our side of the channel yes of course Chelsea have indeed confirmed the appointment of Liam Rosinha as head coach on a six year contract hey back him back him and he'll be there for every single year if that is well won't he I would love to see how much money he won't get when they fire him would you like to see the small print of that contract oh mate Well, modern contracts, you never get your full payout, but six years, that's a long time.

22:37But how the payout often works, isn't it, is you get paid until you take another job. That's often the case. Yeah, and his next job will be with the blue core. It'll be a blue core contract, not a Chelsea contract. He's a blue core man. He's a solid blue core man. Solid blue core. A royal blue core man. His blood runs blue. Yes, as it does with all of us. Until it touches oxygen. is molested by the lungs. Well, anyway, let's leave that to one side for the moment. Rosinha said of Chelsea, this is a club with a unique spirit and proud history of winning trophies. My job is to protect that identity and create a team that reflects these values in every game we play as we continue winning trophies.

23:22May have not said it in that tone, but he will be bringing his French assistant and translator, Khalifa Cisse, with him to Chelsea. So that's good news. Yeah. But Liam Rosina to Chelsea, blimey. I mean, we all knew it was going to happen, Peter, but it has happened. What are your thoughts on this? Well, I mean, it depends very much on whether he can get June out of, you know, players like Cole Palmer, I suppose, innit? Who's not had a great time this season. So it really does hinge on that in many ways. I mean, he's quite an emotional character by his own account. and with the powers that be at Chelsea, often it was said about Maresca and when they were looking for new managers that they wanted a yes man.

24:06Maresca wasn't that guy. And he perhaps didn't fit for one or two other reasons, but he was more outspoken. And as much was said, when he made that comment about, it's been the worst 48 hours of my time here. It was like, oh, they're not going to like that. And owners don't like that. We've seen with Aramirim, you know, again, it's with Nuno at Forest, you know, there's three examples this season alone. with Liam Rosinia. He goes in there and of course, this is a huge opportunity for him at 41. Yeah, and he's the least qualified manager that they've had in about 25 years. Since Graham Potter. Since Graham Potter.

24:41No, I take your point. In the Premier League. No, you're right. Or since Roberto Di Matteo, maybe we'll go back to him. Oh yeah, that's a good point. That's a really bad example to rise in there. But he goes in there and of course, he's worked with these owners in a way who are being Strasbourg which sadly Strasbourg fans hate it are essentially a feeder club for Chelsea now but he is very emotional by his own account and we've seen some of the clips of him whether he's talking to his own players or people in the stands so what do you think of this David because it's good rambly in it well I just want to think that he doesn't look like or sound like the type of guy that will just eat a load of crap which the owners may well serve him up but at the same time he will also be acutely aware of what an incredible opportunity this is and surely better than the vast majority of other coaches or managers out there he'll know what he's dealing with with these owners to an extent i think so he's been part of that group now for a while so he knows the remit and he knows what's required um he i mean one of mareska's biggest points of contention was the number of young players that they had and how he had to develop them and he wanted to win Now, Rosinia, you'd expect, will be quite comfortable with that and happy with that.

25:56Well, a very young squad at Strasbourg. Very young squad, yeah, yeah. I think it was the average age of 21 or something. I don't think any of them, I don't think it was one particular match day squad or something, but they were all born after the year 2000. That was it, that was it. That was the one, yes. That's when I was getting that. So yeah, so he's used to that. So I think he'll be fine with that. He likes working with young players and he started out coaching in the 23s at Brighton as well. That was his first gig in football. So he's done that before. He's got his own ideas tactically as well.

26:25I don't think he's incredibly far removed from Maresca, but he does have his own ideas. So it'll be interesting to see. I'm very intrigued to see how he gets on with the press and how he reacts and so on. He's an interesting character in a sense, in terms of like what you said, he's very emotional. I will say at times he is very, very close to going into Diary of a CEO, Jake Humphrey type territory. Yes. I'm getting those vibes just coming through every now and then. I do wonder if that comes to the far bit and you will get mocked a bit, especially if results don't come thick and fast. My issue with Strasburg when he was there was the fact that I don't think they created a lot.

27:12Chelsea didn't create loads under Maresca either. So something's got to give there. And like Pete has said, I think the key thing is getting Cole Palmer back to being Cole Palmer I mean apparently he's quite flexible with his tactics Liam Rosinia and he's going to have to be when he goes into that squad he likes a three at the back oh does he so goodbye Amarim hello Rosinia the three stairs I mean it will be very interesting how he gets on there and again to not you know bash the point home from certainly where I'm sitting good to see a young English manager are given a good job in the Premier League.

27:49I mean, it's quite a rare thing. And I understand that, that there is a little bit of a dearth of talent in regards to English managers and coaches. But he's a guy who's done pretty well and we've seen other managers. He's worked his way up. He's worked every way up from every single ladder. He's been assistant. He's coached young players as well. So credit to him on that level because there's a lot of former players who think they can just walk into a job, any big job. This lad's worked very, very hard. Yeah, absolutely. And it's that kind of less dogmatic approach to stuff. They were quite rigid under Maresco, weren't they, I suppose?

28:22And for him to be a bit more flexible on that will be an asset, I think. I mean, the way that Maresco kind of converted that side into being a little less leaky, they sort of tied them up a bit, made them a more cohesive unit. I mean, it's not a bad platform for him to sort of launch a first job in, you know, admittedly a huge team and a very moneyed squad to a certain extent. It's not a bad place for him to be, I would say. No, certainly not. I mean, Chelsea are one of those clubs where they do get through managers. But then that's kind of been the case for a while now. And also, it has worked for them as well documented.

28:58The doctors will be listened to, though. That's probably... Is that right? That's how it'll probably be working. Unlike Moreski, yeah. And we may see fewer sideways passes at Stamford Bridge under Rosinia, but we shall see. But they go to Fulham tonight. They do. The bear pit. The bear pit. of Craven Cottage. Rosigno will be there, hopefully witnessing an absolute trouncing of his boys. Ex-Fullam as well, isn't he? Liam Rosigno. Yeah, he's ex-Fullam. Yeah, there's a few pictures I'm going up against Drogba. Did his dad play? Did his dad play? Did his dad play? Did his dad play? Did his dad play?

29:28Oh, I'm not too sure. We're getting into my biddy aunt territory, aren't we? I know he got sacked after 10 minutes, his dad, didn't he? Right, did he? I'm sure that's the story. yes he did yeah right I thought I remembered that his dad said something quite nice didn't he on I forget it might have been Premier League TV or something he said that he might get to see him a bit more he'd ever come to home that's right that's right his father is ex-Fulham yeah all roads lead to Fulham and away from Fulham quite briefly after that Chelsea's football club is in Fulham that's a good point Fulham football club is not in Chelsea right and that is a victory

30:07now Enzo Maresca former Chelsea manager and world club champion still you could say has released a statement on Instagram asking people to leave the world a little better than you found it that's nice isn't it easy talking to Maduro I don't know yeah it's the age of the strong man just take whatever you want I think that's a message towards the private medical department it is yeah That was how he started his Instagram post. It was basically talking about his time at Chelsea and so on. So, yeah, leave the world a little better than you found it. Then he goes on and said, I wish everyone who shared every moment with me, every success in the second half of the season and in the future, thank you, Chelsea, from me and my family.

30:50When you sort of look back, is it a tidy performance if you sort of flounced out of the club? Because you kind of get the fans on side to sort of get upset with the chairman. I kind of feel like he's kind of tidied up any kind of history he has with the club and he'll probably serve him quite well in future jobs. Yeah, it also sounds like a guy who was quite happy to be not there anymore. Yeah. A bit like when you saw that picture of Amarim. The picture of Ruben. Living his best life. Christmas card. Christmas card. Yeah, that's good to say. Lovely. More on him and Man United later, of course.

31:27Before we move on from Chelsea and Strasbourg, at Gary O 'Neill set to become the new Strasbourg manager. That's nice, isn't it? Well, I mean, I hope you like punch-ups, Ben Chilwell. Well, I... Because his team at Wolves was pretty violent. I wonder if he's going to be writing letters to the French Football Federation and so on, because you know what Wolves were like when they were... They got on the wrong end of a lot of bad VAR balls and stuff and they were going, this is ridiculous and so on. So hopefully, Gag can find a little bit more justice in League... in Alsace. So Gary O 'Neill's in the Blue Core realm.

32:03Yes. He's in now, that's it. It's like a Marvel multiverse, isn't it? Yeah, when you say that, I'm a bit like, oh, that'd be, is that good or bad? We'll wait and find out. We will. Munch to Gary, Munch to Gary. Gary. Okay, right, let's move on from that and talk about this. Celtic, of course, sacked Wilfred Nonson at the start of the week. They brought back Martin O 'Neill, 73-year-old Martin O 'Neill, who still fancies it. And let's be honest, they'll probably win the league I don't know I mean steadying the ship at Celtic is winning the league yeah exactly I mean the situation that they found themselves in is ridiculous in the highest possible degree for that club to be six points off hearts at this stage of the season and now they're three points behind Rangers although Celtic have got a game in hand but I mean there's no way he could have survived that 3-1 loss at home at Celtic Park to Rangers but I think everybody in the league was thinking let's give him another few games give him a chance to turn it around unbelievable entertainment oh my goodness I mean it was his sixth loss in eight games he signed a two and a half year contract with Celtic in December what were they thinking I know that everything is a gamble in football you could never tell how a manager's going to do but this I was going to say his assistant worked with Tisdale at Exeter for a bit so there's your link and that's how Tisdale got there that's literally it's a chance of things yeah Tisdale who left Exeter what in 2018 yeah yeah and he brought in a Celtic as the guru the football doctor just the football doctor yeah yeah to sort everything out and left them in an absolute terrible state I mean O 'Neill's come in demanding transfers as well so who's going to ask for those does he just get get the credit card or what would the board not say you did pretty well only a few weeks ago this is the thing sometimes like he can work miracles with nothing O 'Neill it'll go against St.

33:54Gostabord well you did quite well before didn't you you don't need anything hey you said earlier Mikel Antonio's free exactly maybe get him and have the argument that he had with him on TNT Sports you know get that going again Callum Wilson Callum Wilson yes Callum Wilson would score a hat full oh he'd have a lovely time up there wouldn't he he'd love it yeah I find it pretty decent money as well Callum give him a call for crying out loud it never seems to amaze me in football hell just the change of a manager can have such a difference like with O 'Neal going in there you thought that is a desperate move it's Martin though come on wouldn't you be energised by him even on your shittest day if Martin O 'Neill pulls up in here tracksuit socks tracksuit bottoms tucked into the socks you'd be like oh I'm going to have a good day Mark Fotheringham's putting out the bottles fantastic there you go but it's amazing isn't it how you just kind of go right keep it basic lads you know what you're doing look at the rest of the league compared to us you know can he turn it round though he's got until now until the end of the season it'll be a great dull stories if it happened what?

34:59Fairytale Celtic fairytale stuff kill Joy O 'Neill eh? right enough of this nonsense enough of these hearts winning the league oh dear right coming up after this could Ole Gunnar retake the wheel?

35:24tonight Burnley host Darren Fletcher's Manchester United he will take charge of course of the game as interim manager he said he spoke he said he spoke to Sir Alex Ferguson oh god straight for the teat straight for that teat and the rest give me some of that milk Sir Alex I'm going in Jesus Christ I was waiting for Pete to make a milking noise there and I'm glad he hasn't I'm really really there's still time there's still time can we twist your arm Peter can you twist my teat

35:57I mean Jeez It's just It's just all so depressing Is it depressing? Yes Why? It's depressing Go on let's show you're working This man's very Long shadow Oh Ferguson I mean what's coming out of that teat Is red wine Let's make that very clear He loves a bottle doesn't he Maybe that's the problem Yeah maybe that's the problem Can someone get Alex Ferguson Of the red wine I was going to say All of the managers Who are going to suckle at his teat Come back from managerial fetal alcohol syndrome. Exactly, Peter. And that's a problem, and you know there'll be a problem. The milk reserves have run dry.

36:31And it's just pure red wine and horse racing. It brings up another key question for me. Do managers still share a bottle of red after game? It feels like all these Man United managers have been sharing a teat for a while. A big bottle of fucking Huel, won't it?

36:47Just imagine Sir Alex Ferguson is like, who's that big fat monster in there? Star Wars. Jabba the Hutt. Jabba the Hutt. And he's got a bikini lady with him and he's got a copy of the racing. He's got a copy of the racing pause to correct the drips. Who's the bikini lady? McLaren? Steve McLaren? Yes, Steve McLaren. In a bikini. With a brolly. He's going to ask AI to make a bunch of this up after as well. With a brolly. This is my reason. I'll ask Grok this day. I'm frozen in ice now. Is that what he is? Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Yeah, well, yeah, he did say he spoke to us. He wanted to get his blessing.

37:27Of course he did. What's his blessing? Give me a blessing and some of that milk. So he's in. Darren Fletcher's in. He's the latest. Do you quite like it, though, David, in some regard, where some of their former players are, you see what they're trying to do, and some of their former players, obviously, Carrick did all right, Middlesbrough. You've got Darren Fletcher now, of course, going through the ranks. When is it Steve Bruce's turn? That's what I'm asking. No, but do you see what? From that club, with that school of thought and academy and so on and so forth, it's not surprising that some of them have got ambition to become managers now.

38:06I know Rooney's had a go and, you know, not done so well. Broadcast is more his speed. Yeah, well, yeah. Yeah, you've got Van Nistelrooy as well. He was considered about coming in as well and he's already had a little period and didn't he as well before Amarim came in. Leicester fans will find that amusing but still I take your point it's funny how no one asks Gary Neville or Rio Ferdinand who are the two most prominent Manning out advices in the media exactly it's interesting didn't Rio Ferdinand say that when it was hammering when he first started he said well I'm sure he'll be on the phone to Sir Alex talking about that and then he'll probably phone me I think he said that honestly shut the fuck up don't have your Dubai number mate that's a foreign ringtone this I better hang out it's going to cost me that yeah where were we Man United yes Darren Fletcher's in charge I mean again with a club with that history that like to you know that's all I've got at this moment in time well no but it is that's why they're bringing Ole back it's nostalgia and history so there you go but you're this is the thing a club with that tradition and that history and that size and with that means and that support base they should have more they should be able to look at are they going to hate me for saying this, but look at what Man City are doing academy-wise, blah, blah, blah, blah.

39:21They've overtaken them locally, certainly. Of course they have. And under Amirim, there was always that debate, wasn't there, about the younger players and the academy players and perhaps a slight disconnect between the first team and them. But is the academy automatically good because it's a Manchester United academy? No, but they've got a long... It's that history, isn't it? But they've got a long tradition of it. It's a long shadow of Alex Ferguson on the team, but also the youth team as well. No, but that point goes way back before Ferguson, though. anyway, Fletcher's in. Who's going to be his successor?

39:51Because he's very much into him. I mean, okay, if they win 6-0 tonight, then maybe they'll go, okay. But, you know. It worked for Oli, didn't it? It did. Johnny Evans will be, you know, an assistant to Fletcher. You know, you can see what they're doing with these former players. I thought he was still playing. Did you? Yeah. I was like, I was going to do that. Pete, he might have to. He might have to. He might have to do a job. Did you see that rather damning clip of Jason Wilcox that surfaced, I think this morning oh go on where he was on stage getting interviewed at some god awful kind of thing and he said that he's a coach at heart and he was telling Ruben that he will get involved in the management of the club it's like absolutely maddening yeah but even worse than that was Sir Jim Ratcliffe giving his opinions to Jason Wilcox about how they should play and so on and so forth so you know and despite Brian M.

40:42Wemmour's brilliant success recently in the Premier League with Brentford and then moved Manning out. Big Jim thought, right wing back for him. Incredible. If we're going to play wing backs, then he's one of them. Well, look, the plan obviously is Fletcher's going to be in for however long a game or two. As he got the parking spot. As he got the Alex Ferguson parking spot that Ole refused to go in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Get in that spot. They will then hire another interim manager until the end of the season. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is in direct talks with the club. super sub there he is again he is reportedly ready to say yes to any proposal will you do it for free I bet his agent I didn't think you were going to call that that's honestly one of the rooms he said I don't care about the contract length I don't care about the money I'm free I'm available what a negotiator he is is that why he was more beloved as a you know still quite ailing Manchester United manager because he has that history but also he paid so much lip service to that box you know what I mean I'll do it for free all that stuff maybe he was probably loved because he understood you know that connection with the fans that Albert didn't have I think I think Ole Gunnar Solskjaer being hired would be good for two reasons I genuinely believe all joking aside that it would give them some sort of lift and the fans would like to see him back there and I think it can't be to paraphrase a great man it can't be as bad as it has been and I think yeah well I think with Solskjaer I think however they played it wouldn't be as bad and secondly it'd be great for us it would be great for us do you know what I mean look Solskjaer's remit's going to be vibes yeah that's I understand I genuinely understand all joking aside I honestly don't think it's a laughable appointment or anything and we've come to that with Manchester United is that a laughable appointment I don't think it is as an interim it's not a laughable appointment because we've seen what he's done on an interim basis six year contract he's gone anyway yeah yeah No, I do.

42:43I get it. Fletcher for a couple of games. I'll eat at the end of the season and then they'll swoop in and take Michael Silva from Speller's beloved Fulham. Do you know what, right? Because there's talk of Glasner who's apparently the favourite to take over in the summer. Nagelsmann as well. I think it'll be one of those three. Nagelsmann, Glasner or Silva. Well, Eddie Howe's been mentioned. No. No. Why is that? I don't think it's going to be Eddie Howe. I think he'd take it if he offered, but I don't think he's getting offered it. I think he might take it if he's offered. It's too expensive to...

43:12it's just more money why do you not think David I just don't think Howe would take it I don't think he'd go and but if the season sort of carries on like it has done at Newcastle United and people feel like maybe there's a little bit of stagnation or something like that if they were in any of their cups I think he'd probably there'd probably be more of a positive noise coming out of Eddie Howe because Eddie Howe can say what he says but he consistently lies in every press conference he's ever done this player is an injured one oh, he's not injured. He's a liar. Maybe it's plausible deniability.

43:46Maybe he just doesn't know what was going on at the club. Yeah. Tindall's feeding him. It's a bit of a mess. Him and his nephew's signings haven't... It's all about whether his nephew wants to step up to the big plate with Wilcox and get some players in. Well, that's true. Fulham is said to be braced for an approach by Manchester United for Marco Silva. And I think Marco Silva would go if offered because his contract's up in the summer. That would be a solid appointment. I honestly think Marco Silva could the way he would set up that team, the way he would go about it, I think he's a brilliant coach.

44:16And he's got a track record of improving players. I think he does. He's improved a lot. Don't forget when he went to Everton, he was mocked quite a bit. Yeah, he was. He's totally rebuilt his reputation in this country. 100%. At Fulham. It depends on who's calling the shots at United, though, which is absolutely mud clear. Well, this is it. He's not a yes man at Silva. He's a cantanguerous sod at times, you know, and he really does, he needs a bit of room and space to basically spout off a lot. And I think Fulham are often very patient with him because he's done so well and you could say, well, he's earned the right.

44:50And he even admitted in a press conference not that long ago. I'm a real naughty boy. Yeah, didn't say it in an American accent. Smoking a cigarette. He certainly wasn't doing that. Respect the rules of inside buildings. Respect the rules of inside buildings, please. As opposed to outside buildings. He said, you know, I know I'm not the easiest to work with and sort of smiled mind you having said all that they have had just Ruben Amarillo in charge for over a year so maybe it would be an absolute breeze for them but anyway there's a few names there and some decent candidates but you know if they're so wedded to this back three which I don't think they are I mean Glasner would be I think they want a Nagaro very very far away from that but like I say it depends on who's calling the shots there's talk of Wilcox perhaps moving into a different role I don't really know where and Vivel coming in the guy who kind of saw the Sesco deal and a few of the transfers as well.

45:42And if he came in, apparently he likes Nagelsmann and Glasner. I guess if you think it's Wilcox, I guess the natural thing is to think how Southgate, that sort of... I can't see Southgate going. No, I can't either. Well, A, I don't think he'd want it. I think he's now carving a niche for himself outside of football, really. What's he doing? And I think that really... What's he doing? I don't even know what he's doing. What have you seen from him? Well, I mean, he did that... Are you on his sub stack? I would be if he had one. If he had one, yeah. Well, I mean, obviously he's doing a lot of social stuff, isn't he?

46:12With regards to... Going for coffee. Well, let me say it. Bloody hell. He's very... No, social issues. Right. So with, you know, the challenges that young men are facing at the moment. Right. And so on. And he's spoken quite eloquently about that kind of thing. Is that a job? Well, I mean, people pay for the... It's a good point, actually. Is this a job? He's almost like quite politician-like. Do I have a job? United sounds perfect for him they haven't a problem there's a lot of their new academy men to those young disaffected youths young men in disarray disaffected he is absolutely right either way Wilfried Zaha does not give a shit oh yeah he was arseful wasn't he that was strange why was who's asking Wilfried Zaha that Gary Cothwell yeah probably in French I've learnt French just to be a prick he left the club in 2014 he was arsed about his thoughts on the man United second album he replied I don't care good I want more I want more responses like that and his big sort of skeletal face does bemusement really well he's like I don't care what I do care about is he man with that with that type of response he should be in the darts yeah I guess so he should be playing the darts no one's watching no one cares hey no one's watching what as I said that's what that's what one of the darts players said he said it doesn't matter because no one's watching oh I see what you mean they're all pissing her out I thought you were slagging the sport of Kings off generally.

47:36There's a lot of people watching. Can't fucking move for darts. Don't slag them off. They'll check the darts at you. That used to be a thing in football, throwing darts around. It wasn't a thing, no. It was by a very, very... You've got to gain back. If you like darts, bring them to the... Bring them. Bring them to Fulham tonight. Just in case any younger listeners are listening and wondering what happened in the 90s. Yeah. Snooker bowling socks. Don't say that in general, in the news. In football. Samurai swords of the 80s. An extreme minority. Karate men. In fact, I wouldn't even call them a minority, they weren't even that big.

48:05You get a few absolutely deplorable individuals throwing ducks. May well have taken some disgusting missiles. Yeah, wait till you tell them about Happy Slapping as well. Happy Slapping. Tango, Tango. Yeah, you think Tango's a safe drink now. My goodness, back in the 90s, you've got to be very careful. Right, talking of nonsense, former Man United manager Eric Ten Haggis taking up the role as technical director at Dutch Club FC 20. He's back in business. Not as manager. Not as manager. No. he's going to be doing something completely different. He is. David knows why. Can you say why? No. I don't know.

48:41Let's just say his agency are back in business. Right. I see. There you go. We'll leave it there. All right. Let's move on then, finally. And something completely different. Neymar. That guy. That guy. Remember him? He said his dreams have come true after spending 1.3 million pounds on a Batmobile. his dreams didn't come true when he won the gold medal at the Olympics for Brazil a much coveted award that they genuinely you could scoff at that but they were after it it was the missing one his dreams didn't come true when he became Brazil's top scorer of all time no it came true the dream when he bought a Batmobile for over a million quid yeah I mean he's a big Batman guy isn't he evidently yeah big clutter of memorabilia you don't drop he's got himself a Batcopter has he he's got himself a Batcopter that's worth around 10 million apparently 10 million Yeah, yeah, he's got three or four different bat vehicles.

49:36Bat vehicles, yeah. I was trying to think of what they call them. I've got a bat toy or treat, Nav. I mean, it's mad, isn't it? So the Batmobile is very much... I've got rabies like a bat. Peter. What? Not in this country. What? We've got rid of the bat rabies. We worked really hard to get rabies off this island. It'll be back. We don't need you on name. I'll bring it back. RFK will get it back for us. He's not welcome. We are a rabialess island and we'll stay that way. Yes! Play the crowd noise. It's the end of the album. easy easy rabies free nation that's not breaking news it's been like that for many many years but I hope they did have some kind of a British woman has died from rabies after she was scratched by a puppy in Morocco in the June 2025 have a bit of that Marcus we are not rabies free we are riddled with it did you not just hear what you said where was it she's brought it back in Morocco yeah where's AFCON Exactly The league players Coming back Just saying Just saying If they're shirking The Luka's head We'll watch up Okay Right So you've backed me Into a corner here And you're now asking me And now you have to defend The AFCON Moroccan Rabies record Now you want me to start saying If people return From certain countries They have to be tested For certain things It's the way the world It's the way the world I want to go back To Neymar And his Batmobile Right Because He brought it up Bat away the rabies chatter Yeah Neymar this Batmobile is very much the Christopher Nolan Batmobile right oh the one with the wobbly wheels the big wobbly wheels the chunky thing yeah it's almost like a mini tank like the plastic one from the Michael Keaton yeah has he got the suit with the nipples that George Clooney had I perished the thought but nice throwback to the George Clooney Batman often forgotten for good reason but yeah so that's his Batmobile and And he won't be able to drive the car on Brazilian roads as it's not road legal.

51:33Although with the amount of carjackings that happen in Brazil, to be honest, you might as well drive it around because no one's going to stop you. But he's Neymar. I'd put good money on within the next three or four years. He is pulled over for driving that car in Brazil. Oh, definitely, yeah. That's an easy one, yeah. Yeah, I'd say so, yeah. And I think that's fair. But as you say, he's got a back copter as well. Is he gearing up for life after football? he would make us terrible Batman he would get injured he's already been gearing up he turns up he slips he gets shot in an alleyway he's already been gearing up for life after football many years ago and he started rocking up at poker tournaments so oh I don't know but what a player though David one of my favourites really yep there we go yep one of my favourites one of the best players I've ever watched this is the thing about Novo right he's such a ludicrous character let's be honest what he gets up to and so on and so forth 128 caps for Brazil for Brazil by the way right an astonishing talent 79 goals for Brazil but he didn't piss away like a lot of Brazilian talent he was injured so like you kind of I don't think he ever recovered for a lot of people from the move to PSG let's be honest his career was quite short and the lovely Andy Brassovill the lovely Andy Brassovill backed this up as well oh yeah he took an absolute beating when he went to France in terms of kicks and injuries and things like that and it really put a cork in his career sadly five league titles though there yeah for a Finnish man that's not too bad it's not too shabby it's not too shabby also his moment was robbed of him against Croatia in the 2022 World Cup when he scores that brilliant goal at extra time and then they manage to concede and then lose on pens and they robbed us of a semi-final between Brazil and Argentina but now he's back he'll be there in North America in the summer, won't he?

53:25Do you not think? I don't think he's going to be... Do you think he's cropped? I think he's just been phased out gradually. Well, he might turn up in the Batmobile. It's very sad. It's very, very sad. Yeah, it is sad. It is sad. It doesn't really fit because Bruce Wayne's an only child. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network. Friends of the Ramble, don't go anywhere. Keep listening for Ramble Uncut. And if you're not a friend of the Ramble... This isn't Ramble Uncut. Oh, God. Oh, God. It has felt like it. Head over. God, what's going to happen on Ramble on Quick Now?

53:55We're going to go deeper on this, I tell you. If you're not a friend of the Ramble, head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now. Thank you, David. Oh, thank you, Marcus. Thank you, Peter. Thank you, Marcus. And thank you, Neymar.

54:14The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.