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3:45Watch now on YouTube or listen wherever you get your podcasts.

3:50Luke Moore: Take that look from off your face, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Arsenal got a huge win and Ainsley Maitland-Niles is back. It's Monday 7th of September. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

4:15Luke Moore: Woof, and with that, the weekend was over. Woof. Good news, another one's on its way. Marcus, nice Oasis lyric in the intro. Did you like that? Is that for a new documentary coming out? I'm unaware of all this stuff going on. Luke, ask me where I'm going tonight. Venice. The Oasis premiere. Is he? Yes. Oh, you don't know him. I love Oasis. and I always have. How come you're a liar? You're a fraud? Sarah's got a pass and she said, do you want to come? I went. You went, oh, could I give it to Marcus but I don't trust him. I don't trust him around my partner. Selfish, isn't it? Incredibly selfish.

4:47Luke Moore: But Pete is a very selfish man. I am. I'll tell you what was very... When he meets people he doesn't know. He wants to give them everything he has. Very on brand for Pete was, fell off his bike on the way in. Fell off his bike on the way in. Oh, can we start because I've got to go and get some lung massage. I've got to get a lung, I've got lung physio later. Lung physio. Yeah, okay, so before we talk about Arsenal v Chelsea, a massive game in the Premier League. Yeah, my asthma specialist thinks I've forgotten how to breathe, which, you know, not outside the realms of possibility, but we'll see how it goes.

5:17Is that that person who follows you around,

5:19Luke Moore: sort of squeezing your torso about that? Tip, Peter, in, out, let it go. I just think lung physio is a weird phrase. It is. Like a weird terminology. Apparently they exist. I don't think they do. I think this person is making a lot of money from you. Alright, fine. It's only a lot of crystals. Yeah, but you have had your lungs massaged? No, no, I don't know what... Yeah, Vish brought that up, didn't he? He did, yeah. We needed to clarify that. Vish is a liar. That never happened. I've always said that about him, but he's always denied it, proving my point. Arsenal 2, Chelsea 1 is where we're starting today.

5:46Luke Moore: A huge game in the Premier League. What a match it was, Peter. We didn't have to wait too long for the first goal, of course. But Mikel Arteta beat his childhood friend, Xabi Alonso, in their first competitive game against each other as managers. As I say very early on in the game, Peter, Morgan Rogers threw a big old spanner in those works. I love the idea of a romantic title race between two... Arteta said, we are more than just friends, which I think is lost in translation a little bit. Oh, no, I like it. Well, there is a third man in this relationship. Who's that? Tim Cahill. He was Arteta's best man.

6:21That's right. So when Mikhail Arteta was interviewed the other day, he said, they said, those rapid-fire questions they do, because they've got 10 minutes of Arteta and they've got to do something. we're going to have a lull we're going to do a rapid fire question one of them was who's the funniest man you've ever met in football

6:37Luke Moore: Tim Cahill he did I reckon old Tim O's funny I'm sure he's great there was also an exchange I want to say the season before last perhaps or maybe the very start of last season where Graham Souness and Tim Cahill were punditing on an Arsenal game and they lost the game and Tim Cahill was like you can see what they're trying to do. They're going to be brilliant this season. There was a little bit of an implication that he was just saying that because Mikel was his boy and Graham Souness was scoffing. Was it Souness or was it Keane? Might have been Keane. Could have been Keane. Whoever it was. They're interchangeable for me.

7:12They are. They're both good for a scoff. They are. And one's got a beard and one hasn't. And that's the end of it. But anyway, what are we talking about?

7:18Luke Moore: We should say Tim Carhill, of course, is how, you know, in Ireland, as they have a sex as an Irish sermon. Or in Australia, they say... Cahoe. data rather than data. So maybe they'd say Carhill as well. Yeah, that's true. Morgan Rogers, who I have found a very likable character up until about 4.32 yesterday. Oh! When he... No, I'm only joking. He was a bit pointy yesterday. It's quite interesting that he was like... As soon as he scored, the first thing he did was pointing at the badge and goading the Arsenal fans. He pointed at the corner flag first, did he not? Did he really? I remember him pointing at the badge and goading the Arsenal fans given that he almost signed for them.

7:53I thought it was quite pointed. A bit naughty. But then he could have got a lot of stick in those 75 seconds or whatever it was.

7:59Luke Moore: I mean, that could have been fierce for him. How offended could you be in 75 seconds? Or whatever it was, 95 seconds, I forget the timing. I'm quick to anger, as you know. Yeah, that is right. I think it was 77 seconds. Was it? Okay. An extra couple of seconds to get a few dicks in. Terrible idea to score against Arsenal because it really did set a fire underneath them, didn't it? That's interesting because that's one of the questions I wanted to bring for you guys today. I always think because a lot of it was made of the fact that it was quite an open game, an entertaining game and one thing that Arsenal were criticised for last season was making it fairly boring and routine and set-piece heavy whatever do you think that this is a marked change from Arsenal or do you think it's just simply the fact that Chelsea scored early and they had to do something different yeah I think it's too early to tell with Arsenal to be honest with you like we're going to say for every other team maybe until we get on to Fulham but I well I've got a few questions for you about that as well because I've said some stuff before the season started.

8:53And speaking of scoffing, Peter, I was scoffed at. In the way that only a middle-class Fulham fan can scoff. Who scoffed at you? You did. No, it wasn't. I said, we'll do it later. Can I get back at my scoffers? Yeah, how long have you got?

9:07Luke Moore: Yeah, we're putting the record straight today. Did the lady who helped you up off your bike this morning scoff at you? No, she was very nice to me. It's all adrenaline. I was like, I want you to get to work! Ah! Poor woman. You always think that you've got time to deal with a fall, but then suddenly there's a Boris on you. Nobody needs that in their life. No, indeed. It's not the first time you've seen a Boris on someone. There we go. Anyway, carry on. Arsenal, their style of play. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think, as you say, they had to come out and have it scores, of course. I thought...

9:43Luke Moore: I mean, but... After they scored and it was 2-1, Chelsea are going to ask more questions of Arsenal than any other side, obviously, so far this season and so on and so forth. I think it was comfortable by the end. I don't think it was. I know what you mean. There were areas where Chelsea got the ball and they looked like there was space. And when Palmer and Rodgers, the way they play in that system, whenever they get the ball, unless you mark them tightly, which Arsenal don't think were going to do, and I don't think they didn't need to do that, that often appears that there's space if you see what I mean but Chelsea didn't really carve anything I know Esteval had a good effort and obviously it was a good save but really did they bother the Arsenal goal that much it was a pulsating game I grant you well some of the XG figures which aren't that helpful for a one-off game in my view were pretty low for Chelsea Martin Odegaard generated more than twice as much as the entire Chelsea team right because Chelsea's was listed as 0.3 which seems strange to me so when you say it was open I sort of understand why you've asked that, but actually, in reality, like I said, the game was, it was kind of back and forth at times.

10:48Luke Moore: Well, I'm not saying, I don't think I actually said it was open. I think what I meant was they played in a markedly different style to what you'd expect them to set up at against a rival team, effectively. And this was a stern examination for Arsenal, right? If Chelsea had come through this, if they won 1-0, I mean, it's never realistically going to happen because Arsenal are good and because Chelsea can't really defend at this point that well, but if Chelsea had closed that out, we'd be sitting and now going serious credentials. But the point I was just making was the question I was asking was what was the reason for Arsenal making it a more entertaining game whereas before the hallmark of their players being control, control, control.

11:27Now it sounds to me that what you're saying is maybe they just let Chelsea have the ball in certain areas and were comfortable with that and then they engaged in a different way when they needed to. I also think that Havertz was unbelievably good yesterday. He was almost like bored like unplayable. The dummy for the goal is just... Oh man! You should get an assist for that. You should get an assist for that. It's so good.

11:48Luke Moore: You should get a reward for it. What you should get is the Adobe sponsored Barclays Premier League Creative Moment of the Month. Oh, is that an exit? Do you know what I know about that? Because Joe Willett got that last month. I did not even realise that. Creative Moment of the Month. Creative Moment of the Month brought to you by Adobe. Why do more people not know about this? I don't know. Because we don't need it and it's pointless? I don't know. Well, isn't life full of that? I reckon Havertz might get it for September. Yeah. I know what you're saying about Arsenal. I didn't think it was hugely different, though, to last season.

12:19Luke Moore: I know towards the end of last season, it was almost Ranieri's Leicester City, you know, let's just get over the line for crying out loud and shut up shop and all the rest of it. But, yeah, I didn't look at this and think, oh, okay, Arsenal, you naughty sausages, this is how it's going to go. Maybe I went into the game thinking this will be boring and came out of the game thinking, this wasn't boring. Yeah, perhaps. I mean, look, I think Zolis is going to be good to watch. Yeah, he was good. As the season goes on, he's tenacious. Decision-making is just like such a higher level than so many other Premier League players.

12:53He's very tenacious as well. What I liked about Zolis was that he was given the runaround by Matty Cash last time out. He got the shit kicked out of him, basically. And he was basically shut down. I know I asked him on the game, but he was basically shut down. and I was eagerly anticipating how he was going to play. Well, first of all, he was going to be picked and if he was going to be picked, how he was going to play and I thought he was really good. I thought he was pretty indefatigable, really. He really stuck to his task. I thought he was great. I thought Havertz and Konza would stand out good and Zollis was very good.

13:23Luke Moore: Konza fit in very well. But that's why you get a defender like him and pay the money. It's plug and play. Plug and play, baby. I thought that we usually give the footballing authorities a bit of a kicking but when they deserve it. But I do like the new time-wasting kind of injury rules because there's a few times when players went down Yeah, and they just got right back up and it kept the game frenetic It kept interesting Emi Martinez made a meal of getting kicked in the head Trying to get Gabriel sent off. I think why wasn't there intervention? I can't I don't understand I know you want to applaud the authorities don't you?

13:57Well, the reason why I applaud the authorities at that point because if your head if you're if your foot is next to Martinis's head See it, kick it. Just fucking blast it. It's a natural reaction. It's formed in the womb. Is it like when a baby crawls up to the breast for the first time when it's first born? Yeah, latches on. Or a baby foal just instantly stands up? If your foot gets anywhere near Martínez's swede, you've got to kick it. It's like water. It's like gas inhabiting space. It has to do it.

14:26Luke Moore: There's a strong argument that it should have been a red cup. I was really surprised there was no intervention. It happens basically every game I watch on TV. It feels like I'm expecting an intervention that doesn't come. And it's very confusing. That to me felt odd, especially given that they traditionally even these days protect goalkeepers quite a lot. I know what you mean. What did you make of his lack of save for Havertz's goal? Yeah, I think he'd be a touch disappointed in himself. I understand Havertz hits it through the defenders legs. Yeah. And takes the shots early. On the replay, you can see Martinez sees it late and doesn't dive early.

15:01Luke Moore: Yeah, I think by his standards, he might be a touchless opponent. I don't think it's a shocking error or anything like that. I thought he had a decent game. You can see how he's already improved that position for Chelsea. Oh, yeah, he's better than Sanchez. Of course, I don't think anybody would have argued that. And I think he's proven it. So overall, I thought he had a decent game. And he's got Chelsea energy, hasn't he? Oh, yeah. Big time. It's a great fit, isn't it? That's probably how Morgan's dealing with life. He just absorbed a bit from Martinez. He's ramping it up. all right Morgan can't dare yes we want it I reckon they're making him room with Martina you need to learn you need to learn perhaps sandpaper him up but I thought Arsenal were good value for it I thought it was a good competitive game I think Chelsea will be heartened in the long run that they were able to compete and do well and they were competitive it's the toughest game in the league on paper they go to Arsenal I would say you have to say that and they gave a good fist of it and on another day maybe they could have come away with kind of a shit housing draw, maybe.

15:58I think they came to rough him up, but they just couldn't get a... They couldn't really lay a glove. Arsenal just soaked it up and handled everything. There was a really interesting incident. Speaking of the kick to the head that wasn't, according to the referees, the Rodgers and Rice thing was interesting. Well, it was.

16:12Luke Moore: I mean, Rice would... I assume he would argue that it was just a complete error. Not an error, sorry, a mistake where they're running and he tries to run behind Rodgers. You mean Rodgers would argue that? No, Rice would say he didn't mean to. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. Rice was mean to trip him up, and Rogers was clearly going, hang on a minute, you've been crafty there and tripped me up as I'm running to the ball. And Rogers was very, very angry. I did think to myself, lads, come on. England. Kicking off the Nations League in just a few weeks. Tommy T's in the crowd. Well, he'll have to manage that situation.

16:42Don't know how. Yeah. He's a bit used to know still.

16:44Luke Moore: Yeah, well, come on. So, uh... But the point being... Don't sidetrack me. The point... The point... You sidetrack yourself, really. All right, look, Mike, I'm not sure... I think Rice will be in the starting eleven this time. No, but what Rice... Marcus is tired from that Potsmouth thing last night. He got in the sea. That live stream ran all night and I've watched every moment of it. You were from it in the sea last night. I thought... Have you seen the video? Does anyone know Luke Moore? Oh, everybody. I don't think you need to ask the question. Which bit that banner is. listen the Rice Rogers thing I think I think it's possible as we all know if we've played football at any level it is possible to not deliberately trip someone but also not actively get out of the way isn't it I think that's basically what's happened and Rogers was very angry but therefore it is then an infringement it can still be a foul yes of course it's like me and that back this morning exactly it's an infringement the bike's committed an infringement it's someone else's fault yeah no with Roger Yeah, he was very angry, but I'm sure it would all calm down when the important stuff kicks off in a few weeks' time.

17:55Luke Moore: But a good win. And bearing in mind, you know, Chelsea, one of the things that they've had at the start of the season, you saw it in the opening game of their season against Fulham, that they're going to attack well, they're going to score goals. Defensively, how are they going to do? I think they'll take a lot from this performance. I do too. Because as you say, it's the toughest place to go against the champions. Arsenal are many people's favourites, myself included, to win the league again. I mean that's that second goal that they scored you know you talk about Havertz what he did you know Odegaard it was a wonderful finish it's great it's it's a great goal by a team who are the current Premier League champions and Odegaard who started the season very very well indeed which bodes well for Arsenal he looks brilliant and that and that's the difference really I think the difference is he looks fully fit yeah well indeed and on off the back of a very very good World Cup from him as well but Arsenal oh sorry Chelsea again And I know Martina's made a few saves.

18:47Luke Moore: He made a great save from Saka as well. But again, I think overall Chelsea, you can see what's happening here. You would expect them, I would say at least, I think if they, you know, where we are right now, if you said, oh, well, they'll be playing Champions League football next season, everyone would believe you. I think they win the league. Can they go a bit more? That's the question. Well, I think what he's doing now, and obviously we have to make these predictions before the season starts, and so I picked them for the league. I think that would be a stretch for them to do that. It would be genuinely impressive for them to do it.

19:20What I now think might be happening is Alonso might be saying, it's going to take a bit longer to sort us out defensively. But what we can do is score goals. And we've got the talent. I can coach the team to do what I want to do with the ball, plan the shape I want them to play in. And we've got good players going forward that can make things happen. I think if they this season become a free scoring super entertaining team who finish about third or fourth he'll keep his job obviously and then perhaps with a bit more time under his belt he can get them much more well at the back and start to really kick on and make them solid at the back as well but I think that might take a bit more time

19:57Luke Moore: Yeah and you've got Kaisela to come back from injury and Jordan Henderson as well so lots to look forward to I think of Chelsea Lovely to see Danny Welbert come on Yeah he got quite a warm reception didn't he Rory you at the game did he get a warm reception did you give him a warm reception Rory Rory would have given him a very gentle clap that kind of gentleman alright coming up after this Jamie Vardy is back at English football

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24:09Luke Moore: We have to speak about it and we have to put in Germany, say, the finger in the hunde. Well, back to the football animal, everybody. Marco Rosa being a bit saucy there. Very saucy. He knew exactly how saucy he was being as well. Oh, yeah. German? Well, yeah. A saucy sausage. He was probably in some kind of spa. A beautiful German rose. Finger in the bunda. It was the Bundesliga. True. Finger in the farc. Is that why you fell off your bike? Finger in the farc. Oi! Steady. That's my pot, Belgium. That's me going. Thanks to friend of the ramble, Michael, for sending us that clip. good old Michael you can become a friend of the Ramble too search patreon.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button on YouTube to get involved Everton 2 Man United 2 it was a good Sunday for football in the Premier League it was a super Sunday it was a super Sunday they shouldn't be allowed to call it that in advance we said that retrospectively this weekend I think they can call it a super Sunday because I think this game was great as well Ainsley Maitland Niles played his part in it what a lovely goal can I say it was Beckham-esque he just picked his spot perfectly didn't he well didn't even need that was Pierce Luke's not having it did you think it was a cross keep it at fault I'll just float this one back into the box I think the body language suggests that he might have been going for the other corner and it comes a little bit off his heel yeah you think he picked his spot I think he picked his spot I think he put the ball in that spot so the reason yeah the reason I said it was Beckham-esque obviously the inside of the foot but Beckham would sometimes go for the other corner because that's obviously where he could whip it yeah when often you'd think oh I would have gone for the Ainsley Maitland The Niles is not David Beckham.

25:50Well, indeed.

25:53Luke Moore: So, not having looked at it carefully, just obviously seen a few replays, I might have some sympathy with that. Well, to me, it just felt like, did you ever get like... Because it was an odd place to put... It was an odd shot, if you see what I mean. That's what I mean. It's an odd place to put it. Which is what got the spidey senses tingling in the first place. And then obviously me being a professional pedant, as Pete would regularly say, it was one of those ones which happens to me at least a few times a season where I watch something and I go, I really want to enjoy that. And I don't want to take anything away from it because it's a 96-minute equaliser against Manchester United.

26:21And he's had a difficult career in places making the halves, and so I'm pleased for him. But I don't know if he meant to do that exactly. It doesn't matter because it's a great goal. It's not what he's there to do. No, well, he has got decent technique. I just think if you watch again in super slow-mo, it comes off a weird part of his foot.

26:42Luke Moore: What you're trying to say, I think if I'm reading between the lines here, is if he was honest with himself, he shouldn't have celebrated. No. No. and I think he should apologise yeah I think he should take a letter out in the Manchester Evening News and say sorry about that yeah sorry for deceiving you all it was great to see the hill dick erupt like that it was pumping I tell you what's going on I did bloody enjoy Brian Mbwemo's goal it was a game for good goals he danced through he danced through lovely use of both feet as well great dancing yeah I mean that got it the first half was alright I think Tieno Barry missed a good chance in the first half which was a shame for him because because it's going to be a long old season for him yeah do you know what I mean But that would have been such a confidence booster for him.

27:20Luke Moore: And look, there's plenty of games left. Well, he doesn't need a confidence booster because he knows he's going to start every single game. It doesn't matter what he does. I get my bonus either way. Yeah, I did find it funny when he laughed and shrugged his shoulders and went, oh well, and looked at the bench when that happened. I'll score one of them in about February. Don't worry about it. You'll keep playing me. But the second half of the game came alive with old Brian and Bumo. Then we did have to wait a little bit for the goals to start crashing in. It was a late show. It was a late, late show.

27:45Luke Moore: It was a late, late show. Tyrek George is one. Come on. What a hit for the week. Equalised. A lot of Tyrek. Tyrek's in the Premier League this weekend. Tyrek Mitchell. Yeah, that's right. It was a great hit from young George. Looks like a different player this season. He's actually playing. No, but he is one of those players that, again, at Chelsea, he's not going to play that much. You know, he's got talent. A lot of clubs sniffing around him. Eventually goes to everything. You think, okay, how's this going to work? How did somebody sniff this? Yes. And there he is. So hopefully we can see more from him.

28:15Luke Moore: Hopefully we'll see more from Jack Grealish as well, Peter. You're saying that? But yes, I'd like to see him happy, as we've said before on the show. Okay. Well, I like the fact that, you know, they're simply not going to have to play Brennan Johnson as often. You don't like Brennan Johnson, do you? I think he's made that very clear. No one here can honestly think he's a good player, can they? I think managers always think with quick players, I can use that pair somewhere. I think he's fast and he has an eye for goal. And those are two things that you can use. I take the point that the transfer fees that he's commanded even though transfer fees are all over the place these days have been quite hard what's interesting from Everton's point I don't know if this has been talked about or this would be reason to be considered but from memory Johnson has played up front before yeah right and he was top scorer for Spurs the season before last maybe yeah so I mean it was Brennan Johnson at the back post yeah and so maybe he could be a solution from there he has got an eye for goal I mean you have to say he's fast He's got an eye for goal.

29:14He's technically very poor. He's positionally very poor. He doesn't affect games really at this level

29:18Luke Moore: But with the positionally poor... Grealish is a massive upgrade Yeah, but would they not plan on on either flank because Brendan Johnson often plays on the right again It depends what Tarek George is doing. Well true enough, but I but When you're saying positionally poor fine, but again for Spurs, you know the amount of times He did pop up at the back post and score in the worst season in their history fine domestically Without those goals. I was about to say, he was scoring for a team that was not doing very well. It's the Joe Willock. Under Bruce. Not creative moment of the month. Sorry, Adobe creative moment of the month.

29:50Luke Moore: You can't say that. He did say under Bruce, though. Under Bruce. Fine, but you can't... Sorry, I can't diss the Adobe moment of the month. Yeah, at this point. All right, fine. Pete goes a little bit Alfred. A little bit... Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm sorry. Under Bruce. Master Willock. Master Willock. under pressure. I understand, but why do we, why do we get relegated so we can pick ourselves up again? Not my best impression. You do Bruce Forsyth. You go Bruce Forsyth when you get a little bit under pressure. Well, because I was talking about Bruce. Yeah, but you do go, no, when you get under pressure with the links and all that, you go Bruce Forsyth.

30:23Can do. Yeah. Yeah. I look forward to it after him again before the end of the show.

30:27Luke Moore: Anyway, what were you saying? I was talking about Brennan Johnson and saying that if you can make him a functional player, which Moyes can do, then I think that, that I think he can slot in there. I also really like what I've seen from Hayden Hacknick at this level as well. He came on, he looked bright as a button, he always wanted the ball, he obviously got an assist, he was right amongst it. I think that he could force his way in and play pretty regularly and have an effect on games as well. I think he's quality. But it's a good game and I think United will be a sickener for United to concede that late.

31:01Luke Moore: It will, but great for Everton because after that transfer window and all the chat and so on Well, Moyes has been kicking off as well. Well, Moyes has, I mean, he said in the 20 months he's been back as Everton manager, he's never spoken to the owner and chair, Dan Friedkin. His main point of contact is Angus Kinnear, the chief executive. Good to have Kinnear in there. Well, yes, indeed. Which one of you is David Moyes? Come on. Can I do the second bit? No. It affects the YouTube algorithm. Speaking about the fan, you could say Cunny. I don't want to say that. I think it's worse. I think that should be on the list.

31:34If anyone ever uses the word cunny, you get a copyright strike. But it's not on the list, is it? It's not on the list.

31:41Luke Moore: Anyway, speaking about the fans, Moyes said, I would expect them to be really powerful now. Powerful for the team, powerful for the players. We're going to need extra from them because we're short. We need them. If they're not with us, then it's terrible. Powerful fans. I'd love to see them sign some free transfers. Do you want me to go through the list again? Yeah, we talked about it last week. Where's Raheem Sterling? Why do we never do that? They should do that. I don't need to register anything from the Champions League. Sometimes they... I may be unfair here, but I think if you've achieved basically all you can achieve in the game and you're getting older, you might not want to go to Webberton and work really hard.

32:18That's a good point, actually. And try really hard all the time.

32:20Luke Moore: Where's James Sancho? Well, there we go. They've already got Jack Grealish, so they don't need that. Exactly. I think sometimes... I'm not saying this about Sancho, but sometimes players are free agents because nobody really fancies them, sadly. And their wages are usually quite high. Well, whatever it is. I mean it's quite sad for some players but other players you kind of go hear one or two stories Marcus with the Nations League kicking off very soon here we go what are you doing are you a little bit worried about Pickford's weak wrists yes I am yes I am he's got to save that header hasn't he he has to save that it's a nice move for me a lovely cross great header but he's got to save it he has to save it and he knew he did because the way he hit the ground immediately he knew that was a bad one it was actually a fairly poor weekend for goalkeepers yeah you think quite a lot spring to mind about where they should have done better across a variety of games, really.

33:04That was definitely one of them. Rashford's going to look like a nice freebie this season, isn't it? He looks like the only player who can beat his man. I thought, I saw... Yeah, he looked quite lively. I saw it coming that he'd force his way back in. I just thought he would. They'd find a place for him. Not 90 minutes, but maybe a 16. So what did he play 60 minutes yesterday?

33:24Luke Moore: I think the conversation, though, with Rashford, oh, how's he going to fit in? I think it's kind of done. Can characters manage that well? And Rashford's played his part, because he's the guy who's going to play the biggest part in that whole story. And whether he's there at the end of the season or not, my goodness, we'll find out as time goes on. But yeah, it doesn't seem, again, maybe within Manchester United fans, there might be a bit of a discussion there. But for me, on the outside looking in, kind of like slotted in, he seems to be doing okay. I suppose they could. I mean, given that Rashford hasn't really contributed in terms of goals and assists that much, they don't think they had a goal or an assist in the Ipswich game, even though they scored five.

33:58it might well be that they what, move Kunja out left and put Sesko up front given that Sesko scored so they could mix it up a bit for different competitions

34:08Luke Moore: Does he trust Sesko to start games? I don't know but they've got a lot of different games they're going to have to play is what I'm saying but the fact is I'm not suggesting he's doing it for this reason but the added effect of just starting Rashford basically I think he came off the bench in the first game of the season and then he's started ever since it just quietens it down he's not there on the bench as a distraction earning loads of money you know what I mean so him playing and actually looking a little bit bright here and there is a really good thing for them because it's less of a distraction.

34:34He should have had a couple of assists over the first couple of matches. But the strikers just aren't playing very well. There's always next week.

34:41Luke Moore: There's always next week. Yes, speaking of distractions, have you heard that Jamie Vardy has signed for Burnley? Yay! Boy, do they need him. They need him. Rooted to the bottom. They need anyone, basically. They've started so badly. You're talking about players who have achieved a lot in their careers and they're of a certain age. He loves it, Vardy. He does. He is one where he's like, I don't care. I want to play. I'll muck in. Was Mike Dean's chat last week on Vardy's podcast? It was. Oh, was that where he did that right? Yes. I think it was. More on that later, by the way, because our friend and a man who's shared the studio with us, Adam Cleary, has made some very, very interesting findings with regard to Mike Dean's claims.

35:22Luke Moore: So more on that later. Is Vardy's podcast going to carry on? That's what I want to know. Oh, it's a good point, actually. Are we down a rival? Are we down a rival? Are they going to find a Burnley-based recording studio for that? Get him training. Get him training. Yeah. I'll tell you what, that would be quite something. Do we think he's still got the championship level in him? Oh, I do. I reckon he's got 10 goals this season. 10 goals plus. Let's see. Which I think would be a good return. If you're bottom of the league and he's, what is he, 39? An out? Yeah, he's 39, yeah. I think he's got something.

35:50There was talk of him, I mean, the reason we're talking about this is because there was talk of him going to Everton, wasn't it?

35:53Luke Moore: Yeah, I think that was probably more the press trying to sort of fabricate it, which I was all for. But I think even Vardy would be like, oh, no, no, no, no. I'll go to the championship, but the games are thick and far. He wants to play football, and he's like, there's more chance to play football in the championship because the games are every other hour. Give me a couple of years of Kevin Phillips-esque striking opportunities. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Right, gentlemen, before we go for a break, I want to go to the Netherlands if you will. Did you see the story? Involving a lad called Ronald Koeman, Jr.

36:30Luke Moore: No prizes for guessing who his father is. He scored twice on the weekend. He scored two penalties you may have seen. Well big shit. You can cry at that He's a goalkeeper. Yeah, he scored in the 63rd minute and then like in the hundred and seventh minute I think it was the 101st minute. Oh, the 101st minute, was it? Right. Deep into injury time. Again, what is a goalkeeper doing? Taking penalties. Well, if he's scoring him, Peter, we don't care. Well, he has to score him, otherwise he has to run really fast back into his own net, doesn't he? Exactly. That's the gamble. Huge gamble. How good do you have to be?

37:03You rifle one off the crossbar, and it pinged 50 yards behind him. You're in big trouble. Who was the... Did he play for punch the goalkeeper?

37:14Luke Moore: He played for Bayern Leverkusen, and Butt, I forget his first name. Right. Not Nicky. The German goalkeeper Butt was his surname. I want to say Jorgen Butt, maybe? Maybe. But he took penalties. Isn't that French for a goal? Could be. There was a famous... Hans Jorg Butt, isn't it? Is that what his name? I thought it was Jorgen Butt. Hans Jorg Butt. Oh dear. Finger in the thunder. Well, who knows? Yeah. Who knows? He scored a penalty, and then he's walking back and sort of celebrating. And they take the kick off quick. They take the kick off and they shoot. And I think a lot of people learn from that because Coombe, when they celebrate, particularly that single, the celebration happens in the opposition's half, so they can't kick off.

37:53Luke Moore: That's what you've got to do. Camp out. And then the goalkeeper's got to be the first one back, and then you just sort of drift back. Make people, yeah. I didn't like to see him booting the digital signage around the side, the advertising hoarding. He booted it, and it broke. Someone's got to fix that. They're really expensive. We've hired one before. It's ridiculous. One thing you don't get as a potential hazard when you're sponsoring podcasts, isn't it? So maybe they should take that money and sponsor a podcast rather than sponsor an advertising boarding around a pitch, which could be damaged.

38:23You could hear me talk about your brand. Exactly. That's put him off. What an opportunity.

38:30Luke Moore: Ah, dearie me. I mean, I don't know. Does Ronald Koobin, I mean, he is the first choice penalty taker for SC Telstar. He obviously strikes the ball very well, like his dad. Like his dad, yeah. If he was taking free kicks, like, I know Jose Luis Chilover and one or two others. Jorge. That is particularly high risk, though, isn't it? Penalties is one thing, which, again, I think is totally unnecessary for a goalkeeper taking. But free kicks and stuff on the edge of the box. Yeah. I mean, that doesn't really happen now. No. But we've seen it, though. I wish it did, though. I wish it did, but we've seen it, yeah.

39:02Luke Moore: What about old Rogério Senne, the man on the telly? Yeah, he's got loads of goals. Was he just pens, or was he free kicks as well? No, he was free kicks as well, yeah. What are we going to have by now goalkeepers who played infield? Wasn't that the big talk about three years ago? Well, there's been some talk from some tactics types. Some tactics types. The guardia might go completely off the reservation, and when they're chasing the goal, he might take a keeper off and put a midfielder on it. That's it. And just try to dominate the goal, almost like a hockey situation. This obviously never happened.

39:27Luke Moore: No. It happened, for crying out loud, for good bloody reason. All right, coming up after this, yes, as I said earlier, there's been a development in the Mike Dean controversy.

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41:30Luke Moore: Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Right then, let's get it out the way. Fulham 2, Crystal Palace 3 were you at the game? entertaining game were you at it? lovely yeah I was lovely day out good weather everyone went home and back to their lives with a lot of perspective on life in general so let's get stuck into this because I said at the start of the season when we were doing our predictions you said Josh King's going to be terrible this season no I didn't I said Marco Silva is a massive massive loss for them and he's as big a loss as some of these other high profile managers at big clubs who people talk about oh god who's going to take over after that Silva's been there for ages he got them punched above their weight he got them solidly in the Premier League without really having to worry about anything and now he's gone and Fulham have started very badly to me and you'll know more about this than me so tell me if I'm wrong it doesn't really seem that clear about how they want to play and they're not in control of anything and that is a worry they're getting booed a lot as well well Alvaro Albaloa said we didn't deserve to lose the game would you agree with that?

42:35Luke Moore: I found it interesting what Pierre Sarge said after the game. He said he felt sorry for Fulham and said they perhaps should have done a bit better or maybe even said they deserved to win it or something. What would you think if you were at the game? I think if you play that game again, it could go, Fulham could win it. But you're not going to play the game, so it's pointless sort of saying that. Yes, on another day, blah, blah, blah. Fulham was so sloppy at the back. I think that's the thing that really is worrying Fulham fans. The concession, the winner was just dreadful. Yeah, I mean, again, talking to goalkeepers, Leno.

43:05Luke Moore: Leno's had a very poor start to the season. I think towards the end of last season, when Fulham could, a bit like Everton, actually, although maybe not as,

43:16Luke Moore: in such an obvious way, really could have qualified for a European position. I understand a number of teams could, Everton included, and they buggered it up. They went away to Wolves and they dropped points and et cetera and so on. And that sort of drop-off that they had last season, it looks like it's bled over into this season. I mean, Alex Iwobi was subbed off. I can't remember the last time I saw Iwobi come off. You know, when Silva was there, he was always a player that would start and finish games. And the one or two, Anderson at the back has been like really bad at the start of this season as well.

43:48Luke Moore: And these are senior players. You can forgive, you know, one or two of the lads who have come from the Real Madrid Academy who are like 19 years old. I think they both look quite good. I think Gonzalo looks lively, gives Fulham an extra dimension. And Palacios gets a goal. He's quite lively as well. Yeah, I mean, I don't think they're brilliant, but I mean, crying out loud, they're very young men who are in a different country playing in a different league. So I think, you know, they've started all right, all things considered. But Fulham, like, I mean, Palace. Palace have not been great at the start of the season.

44:20Luke Moore: Palace will be a team that maybe some would say, well, you know, will they be struggling to survive or how is it going to play out with them? Because of course, they lost their manager who got them punching above their weight. they've got European football as well coming they've lost some big players Palace couldn't believe their luck I mean Tyrek Mitchell particularly that second just bounces off him you know that was bad luck you know Ben Chilwell if Fulham are going to lose I'm glad it's to you know an England international to Chile who had a bit of a pop at a Fulham fan on the way off didn't he well rightly so because they were shouting Chelsea reject and he held up the sort of L loser side he went take that L I like that he had a long time to pick his spot oh my goodness I just Fulham are all over the place at the back There were times, and some people said to me, yeah, but there was a few moments in the game where Fulham played some nice stuff and they looked, it's the Premier League.

45:08Luke Moore: Any team in the Premier League has the capacity to play some nice stuff over a 5, 10, 20-minute period. Any team in the Premier League has the capacity to score a good goal, to put something together, to play okay or pretty well on a game here, there, and whatever, because the league is full of decent players and quality teams and so on and so forth. Fulham at times, what they're trying to do is they're trying to aggressively press every now and then. And there were times, particularly in the first half, where you saw that and you thought, okay, they might overrun poorer teams here. Saw that, you know, at times against Chelsea.

45:43Luke Moore: Saw that in a pre-season friendly match was made of it among Fulham fans as much as we could against Stuttgart. And you thought, all right, okay, he's trying to do that. He's got some more legs up front now because obviously Raul Jimenez, you know, he's moved to the Wolves, he's mid-30s. Even before that, Mitrovic wasn't a big runner. And so you've got a more mobile front line. Josh King, I think, is going to have a really good season. Whatever happens to Fulham, he's an excellent player. And he's doing well there. Oscar Bob needs a little bit more end product or whatever. But a more mobile front line.

46:14Luke Moore: And you think, okay, they could do that. But then you've got the bit behind it. And the midfield looks a shadow of its form itself, although Shea Charles did okay. But the back four, there will be strikers and forwards who are going into games against Fulham and the manager will be going, right, here's the weak points. Here, here, here and here. You're going to get a lot of joy today. You're going to get chances. Yeah. And you are going to, honestly, you should have a lovely old time. And that is huge concern because Fulham, you can score, you know, score a couple of goals against Palace on another day, they might have more.

46:44Luke Moore: Dean Henderson had a good game, but concede in three. Yeah. And I think what, you don't want to be this kind of English Premier League guy and say this stuff, but all the signs, sadly, point towards, you know, alarm bells ringing about how Arbolov is going about this. Yeah. Because, you know, it's tempting to say he's quite a quiet, meek guy. He's come from Real Madrid, but he's been chewed up and spit out. Fine, you know, that happens to anyone. But the first few things he's done, he brings in two Real Madrid prospects. He's got another one as well from the academy. Yeah, who seem technically very good, but a little bit lightweight.

47:20He lets a couple of seasoned campaigners move on to a Premier League rival, Lukic and someone else. They're Diop. Yeah, Diop. They're both to Ipswich. Yeah, Diop. And they look a little bit like they don't quite know how they want to play. And the problem is, that midfield now, Shea Charles, he seemed to do fine. You saw the game better than me. A young lad as well. Well, he's a young lad. 22, something like that. He's not played an awful lot. It just seems a little bit like alarm bells ringing.

47:49Luke Moore: Well, they are. I mean, I couldn't believe there was a few boos at full time. I mean, it was perhaps a bit over-reported. but still, you know, you're talking about Craven Cottage, where, you know, you don't get many. How does not have a goal disallowed for VAR? Is it narrow for disadvantage? Very narrow. Really tight, yeah. I mean, it was, you know, but... Kamada, wasn't it? Yeah, but, I mean, from Fulham's point of view, again, at the start of any Premier League season, in fact, I mean, any league across the land, you're looking for the team who are going to be the whipping boys. And you think, who's going to drop off here?

48:20Luke Moore: Who's going to be, you know, who's going to drop the ball? because look how well Hull have started. They've shown how you can do it just by working really hard without the ball and being really disciplined and in good shape. And we're going to talk about Hull in tomorrow's mailbag. Coventry, we're expecting more from them. And on another day, they might have got something at the Etihad for crying out loud. And then Ipswich, I think, again, have shown a little bit. I mean, they've got more points than Fulham. So you think the three promoted teams, even though I annoyingly tipped them all to go down and I hated myself for that, it was because where do you see, which side do you think are going to drop off maybe and a lot of people are talking about Fulham for understandable reasons and I push back on that just through sheer bloody mindedness and stubbornness and you know trying to will it into existence but Fulham now are the side where people are going ah could be them we're three games in they've got Manchester United Liverpool away next and then Manchester United I mean it's distinctly possible they have five losses from their first five games which is damning and bad.

49:21Luke Moore: And you can see here... It's Frank DeBoer-esque. It is. It is Frank DeBoer-esque. You can see it. It's all about the confidence. And those players, they're thinking, hang on a minute, where's that guy that we had for ages, Marcus Silva? It's not there anymore. I mean, there was chat from one or two people that Kenny Tete, who wasn't even in the squad, by the way, was seen on a rental bike leaving afterwards and someone said, oh, why are you not in the squad? And he shouted, ask the fucking coach. So if you have all this kind of stuff and again, some senior players... Lovely spot for a bike ride.

49:49Luke Moore: Beautiful. Yeah. a bike. I always take a bike. It's lovely. So you've got all that going on. It does not bode well at all for Fulham. But the one shining light that Fulham fans will cling to is Josh King. Because he's a lovely, lovely player. And I think he could be a big season. And I hope we get a good price for him. But I think Gonzalo Garcia looks good. I think he does as well. And Palacios looks good. And Oscar Bob's got the ability. But the problem is it can't be really, really lightweight. And you can't just jettison serious, experienced campaigners in a misguided attempt to stamp your authority on the squad.

50:26And if you chuck Tete into the mix along with Lukic and Diop, and all of a sudden, Calvin Bassie's playing badly and Anderson's playing badly and the goalkeeper's making errors, that's six serious first-team senior pros that have got issues, either because they're not there anymore or they're not performing instantly. And these are the guys you hang your hat on for years.

50:46Luke Moore: I agree with you, yeah. and he's got to he's got to get them going but I you know again like any team in the league there are a few bits where you go okay if that clicks and if he can get that going and so on and so forth but it becomes harder and harder well of course it does it gets harder and harder to wrestle it round totally and and you know I think seeing some of the interviews and seeing the kind of figure he cuts you're thinking to yourself does Arba Lowe does he have the respect of the players does he he's a tough act to follow in Silva has he got the chops and so on and so forth I think that will become clear in the sort of coming weeks and dare I say months.

51:21Luke Moore: But a great win for Palace though because they've been struggling a little bit. Yeah, and I'd worry for them as well. Well, I mean, look, you can get... For the same reasons. You can get battered by Man City. I understand that. But this game here, I mean, again, the way that when Sarge made a couple of substitutions and like Will Hughes came, when you talk about being lightweight and he just was a bit like, I'm just going to throw, I'm just going to do Will Hughes stuff and that will swing the game in Palace's favour. At times, I thought Fulham were on top but Palace came back and they got their goals and a big confidence boost it really is it really is Peter and it's so bad for Fulham that they've even got fewer points than Tottenham Hotspur now there you go take that L who got a take that D at Nottingham Forest Spurs have got one point yeah there you go more than Fulham still counts more than Fulham because they earned the first part of the season away to Forest Forest again failing to score at home but Forest you know after that that draw downfield you know I think that put a lot of the nerves to bed.

52:17Luke Moore: Should Forrest have had a goal though? Nico Williams' goal was ruled out for handball. That was a big talking point over the weekend, Peter! It was a good spot, I think, from the team. I think it was handball then. Yeah, I think it was, yeah. Which of the infringements happens first? A handball or a foot in the head? Because to me it feels like they should take the priority, right? I don't know. I'm just assuming that. It's chicken and egg, isn't it? Well, it feels a bit... From my perspective, it's funnier if Tonali's at fault. but I agree I agree with that I think it's a really odd situation it's one of the ones one of those ones where I don't envy the officials to deal with it which is really tough and in slow motion it's really difficult and the camera angle is not that helpful but to me I guess the default position perhaps wrongly would be whichever infringement happens first should be the one that's to focus on because it informs the direction of travel for everything else isn't it but the frustrating thing though when you know Va came along so clear and obvious.

53:14Luke Moore: Again, I can't stress enough, forget that. Forget clear and obvious. What, do you think the goal should have just stood? Well, because if it's clear and obvious and the goal stands because the referee gave the goal. It's not clear and obvious if he handballs it. It's not clear and obvious if Tonali fouls him or not. It's not clear and obvious if it's a good goal. So again, that whole clear and obvious thing is bollocks. Nobody should say the words clear and obvious when you're talking about VAR anymore because again, you talk about the offsides and so on. if he's half a toenail offside or bang, okay, someone could say you could draw a line there.

53:46Luke Moore: But it's not clear and obvious with VAR. And therefore, you're not going to get the referee again. Get on the microphone and go, we've had a look at VAR, it's inconclusive, so I'll give the goal. Why not? I'm saying you're not. I'm not saying this is not going to happen. The reason it's so thorny, I think, is because you're joking about it being chicken and egg there. But there is a bit of truth to that because ultimately, Nico Williams throws his head in to head the ball then it seems like instinctively puts his arm up because he doesn't want to be kicked in the head which to me seems fair enough.

54:19Luke Moore: I think that's what he can be forgiven. In which case then you argue that Tonali's high foot means that that's the first infraction because otherwise Nico wouldn't put his hand there. He's kind of leaning back a little bit as well so it's not that high I think. Fine but then you could argue he's put his head at a height where it is fair game to have a kick of the ball because you know high feet is not you know, someone skids along the floor. Oh, ultimately, I'm fine with the goal not standing. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I can certainly see the... I'm not adopting the same position the referees adopted, but I can see it from here.

54:51Yes, yeah, yeah. I get why they're doing it.

54:53Luke Moore: But that's my point about this whole clear and obvious nonsense, because if you look at that, it's kind of like, eh, probably... And they're always going to err on the side of caution. But it does hit his hand. So therefore, you're clear and obvious... Well, okay. Well, if it's hit his hand, then... Well, your clear and obvious point doesn't stand up on this particular issue. Okay, fair enough. Chiefly because it does hit his hand, and the referee can't see it from the angle he's in because he's behind, and the VAR says the arm's not in a natural position. So I'm not trying to defend or criticise anyone.

55:21I'm just saying that that's ultimately the reason given, which to me has been the reason given for a long time now. Well, I'll stand down from my rant then. When these VAR checks are going on, we need a lovely little jingle that just repeats over and over again, a jaunty little tune, there's another match next week, there's another match next week. can have another match next week. Maybe, you know they used to say back in the day they'd play like Led Zeppelin records backwards. It's like those satanic chants. Yes. They could do some subconscious thing in the jingle to make people be more accepting of the bar.

55:49Just chill out, everybody. Chillax.

55:52Luke Moore: Or, and I think the broadcasters would be really happy with this, remember on the BBC throughout the night you'd have the girl with the blackboard and the thing, when the bar check's going on just put that up. Just put that up, yeah. Like that. Play the national anthem. We got through it twice there. or every person I don't know but anyway ultimately the story is still that I guess Spurs can't score goals and they still haven't won a game that's the big takeaway isn't it nice to see Mikalo Mudrick though was it but yeah what's he going to do he's not playing for the thick end of two years he's going to slot in he's not going to slot in he is going to slot in that's the problem for them Spurs' work in the last third has to be psychological, because there's no reason why everybody's just falling on bits like this.

56:38Like, eleven shots, not on target. Dezoi said, we bought very, very good players, but you can't just build a team with names, like in Football Manager. I don't even think that's how you play a Football Manager video game. How do you play it? I just don't have press conferences within three weeks, close it down, delete it from my Steam library, and I'll see you next year, guys. There's not a game less suited to Pete's temperament than Football Manager. The man can't get through a single game of FIFA without getting bored. Get your assistant to do everything. Don't bother me with this shit. I'm a big ideas guy.

57:09I think, you know, you mentioned it with Fulham, you know, and it's a new manager in situ at Fulham. I know it's a slightly different situation at Spurs, but it feels to me that, as I said, the more it goes on, the harder it is to turn it around. And De Zerbe's the type of character he is. He's already talking about the fact that I can't buy mentality into the club and all the other. And that's an interesting thing to say.

57:28Luke Moore: He went early with that. Yeah, because he's gone early because on the face of it, it's quite combative. but at the same time if you were to drill down into it a little bit deeper you could say well kind of is your job to instill the mentality that's basically why you've been employed yeah I know what you mean the idea that you can't buy mentality fucking give them some then yeah exactly lead by example yes I know what you mean I mean the thing for Spurs is if indeed Deserby leaves at some point he storms whatever it is such a big club with a good squad they'll always get suitors whereas Fulham may well enact my notable match and get big Sam Allardyce in a January.

58:03I don't like the idea of you having to rely upon the manager in Spurs that just looks like he's on Jersey Shore in 2003. Right. He's got the old, the little beard, the spiky hair. I think it's the, I think it's the, the aesthetic choice of a madman in 2026.

58:22Luke Moore: What for Huey and the fun-loving criminals? Not now it doesn't. He's skinhead now. He's skinhead now. That is the other choice. I think that's not, but yeah, that's not my choice, I would say. Yeah, but he's not, I don't think there's any chance in the world that Hughie from the Fun Love and Criminals is saying, if I could still rock that look, I would rock it. Oh, I don't know. He does look like the fourth block from Blue, I suppose. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's a proper 2004 look. Is that the problem? It's part of it. Has to be. I didn't say this when we were talking about Arsenal with Chelsea, but Javi Alonso, as Vish pointed out on our WhatsApp group, that sort of slightly ill-fitting polo shirt.

58:55Luke Moore: Yeah, that was disappointing. I'm getting a little bit annoyed with managers. I know it's here to stay, and managers kind of wear what they want, but you either raid the club shop, but in good style, because Moresca, when he was Chelsea manager, it was kind of like, you shouldn't be wearing that tracksuit. So there are good choices and bad choices in the club shop. Or you've got the suit, or I'll even take a little bit smart casual. I'll tell you he ruined it. Guardiola ruined it. He did, absolutely. Because Guardiola would just, you never know what you're going to get. He put that weird hoodie on.

59:24Luke Moore: He looked like he'd been playing computer games on the weekend and doing things that he shouldn't have been doing. Yeah, wanking. What wanking? I was going to say that. Smoking pot. What shouldn't you be doing? I was going to say that. Well, I've come up with two. He's not come up with any. I was alluding to one of them. What were you thinking about doing this weekend but didn't do it? He was wanking off bifters. There you go. Right. Now, Peter. No, don't move on. I want to say something else. Just quickly. I want to say, you mentioned it. I'd like to say wanked off bifters too. Who knows what the show tart is going to be today.

59:57Wanking off wifters.

1:00:00Luke Moore: Come on, we've got to talk about what Adam Cleary found. Okay, fine. He's got a bit of a deservey about him. Yeah, I know what you mean. I think he's got the same shirt face. He could do the same mustache if he wanted to, and he's got the same hairline, I think. Well, Adam, there we go. I just don't think you should be doing pencil. No, we shouldn't. It's the Craig David thing as well, isn't it? It's the garage DJ of the 2000s. No doubt what you think about this. Nothing sums up a club's plight. Right. Like throwing, like getting a player that hasn't played for almost two years. I know. Who was an Uber driver for a bit.

1:00:31And you've got him in. You've not gone. Right. We'll give you a bit of time to get up to speed. Straight in there. Away from home. We need a fucking goal. Yeah. Can you come in and do this? But bear in mind, you've got to stay between the white lines. Yeah. You can't be beyond the last defender when the ball's played.

1:00:45Luke Moore: You remember how to play this? Do your best. Yeah. Rumors that he was in the baller league. He was like, if we score, do we get an extra player? Come on. Take your back, Black Balaclava, right? You're in the Premier League now. That would have been superb. Straight in there. Straight in. 650 days since he's played a game. Yeah. Any chance I'll get my match fitness up, boss? No. Get on. Straight in there. Right, finally. Everybody. Our good friend. Stop saying good friend. It makes it like we haven't got any friends. Just because you haven't met him. I've never met him. Yeah, I know, yeah. That's why he's still a friend.

1:01:14Luke Moore: I wish him no ill will. I just don't think he's a good friend. I worry you're going to ruin it for us. We're clear, yeah. All right. In the same way you wouldn't let me meet Jamie Carragher. You just said wanked off a bifter. I think. And he's worried about me really. I think I would have got on with Jamie Carragher. Yeah. I don't pay my tax. Anyway. Oh, naughty. Come on. That's naughty. That's true. I don't know. I'm very late usually. You're very late. I'm very bankrupt. Yeah, he is. Good one. Thanks. Adam Cleary, a man I like and respect a lot. Say that from the start. What's his HMRC record?

1:01:50Luke Moore: I've had the good fortune of meeting him and working with him a couple of times. I've hung out with him socially. I've hung out with him. You have. You went abroad with him, in a way. I very much enjoyed - Anyway! Go on. No, let me throw it in. I very much enjoyed a commenter who tried to sort of saw a little bit of Seed of Discadette going, Peter Clay doesn't like Claire in the park, because he knows Newcastle United. He's a Newcastle United supporter. Do you remember when people went mad for about a year, saying that you and Jim didn't like each other? Yeah. Jim's so - You can't - It was way longer than that.

1:02:17You can't dislike Jim. You can if you hear what he says behind your back. You can't dislike Marcus.

1:02:22Luke Moore: You had a good... You know, and Vish as well. Anyway, he has... I dislike you all the same. We said about Mike Dean, when Mike Dean was talking about how he mentioned the other day on Jamie Vardy's podcast. Everyone's seen the Mike Dean story, Mike. Right, yeah. We mentioned it already on the show. We mentioned it already. Just get into your good friend, Adam Cleary, and get on with it. Get into your good friend. Alfred Jali, as you call him. Get that F in the B with Adam. We were saying that surely... Wake up his bifter and get on with it. We were saying surely... Surely someone is going to...

1:02:58Someone whack his Adam's bifter! Why has his bifter just spunked in my mouth?

1:03:08Luke Moore: The spliff spoofed. So, Adam thinks he's uncovered the game in which Mike Dean deliberately went ages without blowing his whistle. it's very compelling evidence very compelling they've done a lovely job imagine having to watch all those Mike Dean fucking matches good god as I always say check out Adam's on YouTube and the socials because he's genuinely brilliant and this is superb so he thinks he's narrowed it down to West Brom v Man United in March 2016 there's some detective work that it really is because again well this is how good he is because we said I'm sure someone will go through if they can be bothered Mike Dean games where he's refereed blah blah blah but Adam's very excited about this and rightly so He blew his whistle, Mike Dean, in this match for the first time in the 19th minute.

1:03:51Luke Moore: And as Adam was pointing out, some of the decisions or some of the challenges and the stuff that he lets go. The sheer scale of the marginal ones. Exactly. In the first 90 minutes, he was like, this has got to be it. He said it's outrageous. And then immediately after that, it's like Dean goes, yeah, I've had my 19, 20 minutes. Right, I better start officiating. And then there's a couple of yellow cards given quite softly. Roy King reviewed it as the best performance of referees ever done. Yeah, he said it's odd because the commentators are commending Dean for letting the game flow. He ended up sending one matter off in that game for two yellows.

1:04:28Luke Moore: But I think he might have found it. I think that when I deserve... Dean, he wasn't lying, Luke. Mike Dean deserves an apology from me because I thought he was just lying to show off. Yeah, right. He's obviously put his money where his mouth is. I mean, he's brought an entire sport of disrepute. But he hasn't at least done what he said he was going to do. Money United are going to be preparing memoirs as we speak. How did the game finish? What was the score? Was it 1-0? I honestly don't remember. I love the fact that you're apologising. I'm sorry, Mark Dean, for thinking that you weren't completely unprofessional.

1:04:56Well, if it was in December, United won it 2-0.

1:04:59Luke Moore: No, March 2016. It was at the Hawthorns. Oh, okay. West Brom won it 1-0. 1-0 it was, yeah. Yeah. You really have to remember that. Solomon Rondon scored. Come on. Solomon Rondon. That gives you... That's great. That's the stuff. That gives you the chills. You do kind of forget that all referees, you know, bar none, are just nerds. Just big old nerds. But we need them, Peter. Must be saying that. You fix your neighbor's computers, and that's you saying it. I do. Yeah. When they're out. Get in there. Need more modifications. Anyway, well done to Adam Cleary. Some great work. Can you see? I'd like Cleary to get involved in, like, you know, true crime and stuff like that.

1:05:34Yeah. We've already got the HMRC of football as well. I don't understand the tactic stuff. HMRC of football it's a guy who always tells football to a lion so Cleary could perhaps team up with him the crime fighting super duo

1:05:45Luke Moore: like Sharky and George the crime busters of the sea absolutely right thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the ACAR's Creator Network we'll be back tomorrow for the mailbag so join us then thank you very much Peter ta ta thank you very much Luke thank you thank you Adam Cleary

1:06:08Use his full name. Clearing that up. The good friend Adam Clearing. My good friend Mike. She's got loose from TalkSport. Happy birthday my good friend Sergio Ramos. The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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