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Football Ramble

27 Jun 2025 · 52m · 20 chapters

Episode artwork

Sir Gareth Southgate, sir

In short

Football Ramble discussion of Club World Cup group-stage results and upcoming knockout matchups, plus Euro U21 semifinal/final previews and Arsenal transfer talk.

Guests

No episode guests appear; it’s hosted by Marcus Speller, Luke Moore, Andy Brassel, and “the Leachan Hunter-Rodger” (Vish/Lee Carlsley referenced).

Key claims

Manchester City looked “on song” vs Juventus (Rodri returned; goals included Edison’s equaliser, plus Kalulu’s own goal). Juventus/Italy food controversy: Timothy Weah? (actually Weston McKennie) and Timothy Ware’s comments about “no variety” in Italian cuisine sparked backlash; Italians are portrayed as protective about food culture. England U21 beat Netherlands 2-1 in the semifinal; Harvey Elliott scored two, and Joe Hart’s co-commentary is praised.

Notable examples

Savinho’s goal vs Juventus; Kalulu’s own goal; Inter’s 2-0 win over River ended with a pitch brawl tied to Denzel Dumfries vs Marcos Acuña history; Monterey’s 4-0 win with Sergio Ramos; Monterey vs Dortmund next; Arsenal linked with Brentford captain Christian Nørgaard (31).

Written by AI. May contain mistakes.

Chapters

0:30

Reflections on a Friday

The hosts discuss their week and share light-hearted banter.

“75 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it.”
3:32

Reflections on a Friday

The hosts discuss their week and share light-hearted banter.

“Soft, smooth, buttery, marshmallowy, warm.”
4:28

Reflections on a Friday

The hosts discuss their week and share light-hearted banter.

“What a lovely Friday it is, and we're together again.”
6:40

Manchester City vs Juventus Recap

Analysis of the recent match between Manchester City and Juventus.

“And he's just sent you one now in the form of this V sign from me.”
11:34

Culinary Controversies

Discussion on comments made by McKenney and Ware about Italian cuisine.

“But City against opposition of substance were really, really good.”
14:01

Food Culture Clash: Italy vs. America

Explore the humorous debate over food preferences between Italians and Americans.

“It's basically being seen as a declaration of war.”
16:31

Football Predictions and Match Analysis

Discussion about upcoming matches and player performances, sharing predictions and insights.

“the fetishisation of food culture in general.”
17:40

Sir Gareth Southgate's Tactics

Examining Gareth Southgate's strategies and his recognition in football.

“It's kind of like how clubs have sold playing right back to Ainsley, Maitland, Niles.”
19:16

Club World Cup Highlights

Reviewing key moments and performances from the Club World Cup, including player highlights.

“There's also talk about, you know, a couple of Premier League clubs interested in him.”
28:00

Club World Cup Insights

Discussion about teams in the Club World Cup and their prospects.

“do go onto YouTube and seek out the Monterey 4, Uraro Red Diamonds nil game because the goals in that were amazing.”
Show all 20 chapters
30:02

Auckland City Coach Controversy

Debate about Auckland City's coaching issues after poor performances.

“But before we go for a break, sad news though.”
34:22

England Under-21 Performance

Review of the England U21s' performance against the Netherlands.

“Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody.”
36:56

Joe Hart's Commentary Insights

Discussion on Joe Hart's role and effectiveness as a commentator.

“I was telling you, the youngest would be Carsley's calves.”
39:40

Transfer Talk: German Striker

Discussion about a German striker's rising profile and potential transfers.

“But because there are so few strikers of that kind of stature at the moment, he's like, he's kind of like a unicorn.”
42:00

Arsenal's New Signing: Christian Norgaard

Discussion on Arsenal's acquisition of midfielder Christian Norgaard and its implications.

“were getting a bit frustrated about the deal, which clearly Jockres is himself.”
48:01

Brentford's Challenges and Leicester's Management Shake-Up

Analysis of Brentford's player losses and Leicester City's recent managerial decision.

“Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman and the website The Bittman Project.”
54:44

Luka Modric's Move to AC Milan

Exploration of Luka Modric's transition to AC Milan and comparisons with Cristiano Ronaldo's contract.

“I don't think he's going to worry about that.”
56:00

Ronaldo's Next Chapter

Discussing Ronaldo's impact and the unpredictability of his career decisions.

“But yeah, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner, but it might do into the 40s.”
56:55

Film Saipan and Steve Coogan

Conversation about the film Saipan and Steve Coogan's role in it.

“Now, let's finish the show by talking about the film Saipan, of course, which we spoke about on Wednesday's Ramble.”
58:09

Mick McCarthy's Portrayal

Debating the portrayal of Mick McCarthy in the film and casting choices.

“Andy, Luke and Pete both said they wouldn't be interested in watching this film.”
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Transcript

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4:03Luke Moore: Like gasoline, you want to pump me, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! Rodri is back and Lee Carlsley's on the march. It's Friday, 27th of June. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. I'm Andy Brassel. And I'm the Leachan Hunter-Rodger.

4:28Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. What a lovely Friday it is, and we're together again. And that guy, Andy Brassel, is back from the States. Hooray! All right, Andy, you still want to be there, don't you? Yeah, maybe. I was desperately for you to get interned by the Border Force, but sadly it doesn't seem to have happened. What do you think? He was there. Andy, we're going to talk more about your experiences, though, as the podcast goes on. Right. Are we ready to be after? All right. Andy seems more reluctant than you, so perhaps you won't. What was the best thing you ate? Yeah, that's a good question. Oh, that is a good question.

5:02Chips? Probably something vegan. Oh, yeah. I have to say, I've never before seen a churro croissant. That interests me. Tell me more. That's fusion cuisine vision. That was very good. Absolute food bastardry, but I'm all for it. It is. Exactly. And it's the lightest thing you could possibly have for breakfast in America. Just for Martin Marcus' benefit, though, did you have any chips? No. Okay. Disappointing. Chips are vegan, Andy. Yeah, exactly. Depends what they're fried in. I don't have to eat everything that's vegan.

5:33Luke Moore: No. Yeah. Well, then change your behaviour. Before we get started, a reminder that Luke's game will be out today at 4pm. Oh, yeah. It's Luke's game, everybody. That's the new regime. It's winner stays on, so this week it's me versus Vish. Luke beat me last weekend and this time he'll be Faishing Vish. Yeah. I'll be reffing. So, but if it's your game, you adjudicate it, don't you? Ask the production staff, mate. Ask them, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Luke needs to be, Luke needs a better name for it. Luke claims he made it up and then he wanted his name on it and, you know, we couldn't play it. Oh, this is a game that Jermaine Genis invented.

6:06Yeah, that's it. I've stole it. Genis' game. So what I said was, for everyone out there listening, I stole it from Jermaine Genis, said that I invented it, made everyone here name after me and then insisted that I win everyone. Otherwise, I'm taking my ball. That sounds about right.

6:22Luke Moore: But please do stop texting the production staff, though. No, I'm not going to stop doing this. Okay. Otherwise, they don't talk to work. Look, I'm very happy to talk about Jesus Christ, but I feel we need to go on the podcast. He used to send messages as well, didn't he? Yeah, he still does. Luke's game, out today at 4pm. Do not miss it. And he's just sent you one now in the form of this V sign from me. I'm hoping that the good Lord and Saviour will be on my side for Luke's game. Well, I'm reffing it. He stopped listening to me. So I've got no chance, basically. He would love to hear from everybody.

6:53Luke Moore: Now, Juventus 2, Manchester City 5 in the Club World Cup. Man City thrashed those little slugs, Juve, in the final match of the group stages. Rodri started for the first time since September. Man City looking like they're going to maybe have a tilt for the title next season and prove me wrong, Vish. But they were impressive. Yeah, they were. You don't really see it, do you? It's quite disconcerting to watch the early building stages of a revenge mission. Yeah. No one had to see the scaffolding on the Death Star, did they? No. They're just like, right, that's probably gone. We don't need to concentrate on that.

7:29The Death Star got blown up, didn't it, the Death Star? Well, it did, yeah. Spoilers! When they built it.

7:37Spoilers from 1984.

7:39Luke Moore: So is this Club World Cup, is this like Andor? Yes, that's it. Because that's a preview, isn't it? I don't think it is. I think this is the bit, and this game against Juventus is specifically the bit where the Emperor's sitting in his chair in Return of the Jedi, and you think he's building it, and he goes, this fully operational battle station! Yeah, that's... And just unloads on it. And that's Guardiola's going to say that at the start of the season. Yeah. You think we're all struggling now. It was quite a contrast, wasn't it? Because on the one hand, maybe I'm putting too big a point on it, but it really did feel like Man City were clicking into something, trying to find something at least.

8:16And at the same time, I think Juventus had been there too long. Could not be asked, could they?

8:22Luke Moore: Could not be asked. Do you know how they've just hired a guy who used to work at Liverpool? Yeah, exactly. He was the assistant coach, wasn't he? Yeah, assistant. Sorry, he was. He was the assistant club. Yes, exactly, yeah. Has he got the plans to take down Liverpool? Yeah, he might have. Well, he certainly had the plans to take down RB Salzburg when he was in charge there. I was about to say, he did the old classic, I've spent ages as an assistant under a genuinely impressive manager, won loads of trophies. This should get me a job. Does get him a job. Absolutely shit. Back over here again with a tail between your legs.

8:51I think I'll do the assistant bit again, please, if you don't mind.

8:54Luke Moore: Oh dear, the old Carlos Kiyos. Yeah, the old Chris Hargreaves, for those of you who remember Paul Jules' reign at Wigan. We really do. That was a deep cut. So deep for the heads that I probably got it wrong. Brian Kidd. Brian Kidd. There you go. Steve Keane. Steve Keane. Yeah. If you've got any others, email. There are others, yeah. But we must move on. Yeah, so Rodri was there. It was an incredible approach to defending from Juventus, I thought. Quite avant-garde in places. It was a little bit. At one point, Manchester City, and they can do this to teams anyway when they're on song. At one point, it felt like they were just stumbling into the penalty area, taking their time to square it for an open goal to someone.

9:36Luke Moore: It felt a bit like... Field phone's not scored, let him have a goal. Yeah, Alain Harland's bundled one in off both feet. His 300th goal of his career. Oh, no, that was an amazing statistic. And then Kalulu did an extraordinary own goal as well. Oh, my goodness. So strange. He tries to hook it away, comes off his heel, and just turns into a beautiful finish. It was so bad. Can we really work out what he's trying to do? Not under any pressure either. There's not even a Man City player in the camera shot. He was under no pressure, and yet he was trying to put it out for a corner, which is mad to me.

10:07Luke Moore: Well, I mean, I suppose he thought safety first, maybe. I don't know. But either or, it was a piss-poor wrong goal. If I kick the ball this way, then we get it right up the other end, don't we? Well, it was soon after Manchester City themselves, through Edison, had gifted Juventus an equaliser. And then they thought, I feel a bit bad about that. All right, you can go back in front. It's like when Aston Villa walked one in against Bielsa's Leeds. Yes. Yeah, it was a little bit like that, wasn't it? But Jansen really objected to that. There was more... That was really funny. Yeah, there was more of an obstruction to that goal than there was to this one.

10:40You can't rely on everyone to come with you. Someone's going to have to fight against it. Was it the most extraordinary event you've seen at the Camping World Stadium in Orlando? For a while, for a while, I would say. Because don't forget they were home to the Orlando Guardians of the XFL back in 2023. So there's probably some exciting moments then as well.

10:57Luke Moore: Oh, it was littered with exciting moments. Just ghosts of nonsense littered throughout that part of America, isn't there? Are you being disrespectful to the United Football League's Florida Tuskers of 2009-2010? I think he is. I think I have as well, yeah. Or the 1985's Orlando Renegades. Something that you would have to respect, other than Arsenal fan TV, is Savinho's beauty. Oh, it's great. In off the bar. Slapped it in. That's what we wanted. Slapped it off the bar. That's what we wanted to see, yeah. But he had a great game from start to finish. He was terrific. It feels like he's about to have a really big season.

11:29But I guess the weird thing about how good City were in this, Juventus had their faults and Yielders didn't start, etc., etc. But City against opposition of substance were really, really good. But when you talk about projecting forward to next season, you can't really do that because the longer they're here, the more likely they are to start next season really badly. That's the way things are, isn't it? That's it, Andy.

11:53Luke Moore: That's it. They're going to bugger it up next season. One thing we have learned is that if you're going up against Rodri in midfield, You cannot prepare for a game by having a pizza with ranch sauce on it if you're Weston McKenney. That is not prep for a midfield battle with Rodri. Luke, you've done my link for me there. Because we then have to talk about the comments that Timothy Ware and Weston McKenney have been making and infuriating Italians with regards to their local cuisine. And we know Italians are very, very... That is the key bit, isn't it? They're very protective over their food. Fair enough.

12:25Infuriating is putting it very mildly, I think.

12:28Luke Moore: Well, Italians are very productive and very particular about their food. That's fair. It's fair to say that country has produced a fair amount of quality cuisine over the years. It's also fair to say that the legend and law around Italian food is overblown. It's amazing. It's overblown. Agreed. Totally agreed. I was about to back that up by saying that fairly recently... It's just carbs and cheese. Yeah, exactly. Different carbs with different cheese. I had a bit of bolognese with tagliatelle rather than spaghetti and got scorned by an Italian for that. And I was a bit like, this is just a little bit fatter.

13:01Luke Moore: It's all it is. Paulie Walnut in Sopranos getting annoyed in that coffee shop when they stray from the proper way of making Italian coffee by screaming, we taught the world how to eat. That's how they feel. Not all Italians, you would think. That's the best bit about it, I think. the sense of anticipation about how angry they're going to be about any sort of challenge to how food should be. I mean, my younger son had an Italian friend at school and when they had like a Power League football party, he was putting chips on his slice of pizza. Good idea. One of the lads next to him went, when you go home, they're going to send you to prison.

13:44I don't think the Italians, I don't think there has been an overreaction to this though because all Weston McKinney said was, Italian cuisine has no variety. It's pasta, pizza, fish and steak. To which the former Italian goalkeeper, Marliano Viviano said, they have achieved the incredible feat of uniting all of Italy against them. It's basically being seen as a declaration of war. In fairness, Juventus have been uniting all of Italy against them for quite a number of years.

14:09Luke Moore: Viviano also said, the US is a country with the worst food in the world. They even deep fry the soles of their shoes. There are 200 million Yanks and all you eat are hamburgers. I mean, I did find it funny when McKinney said there's no variety and that he listed four things. Four quite distinct food. I'm defending Italy now, but across Italy, all those things are done in different ways. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Like you say, it is a bit overblown. It was all a bit silly, but I was just like, oh, lads, lads. Look, I understand. If you prefer American food, that's absolutely fine. Even at the start of this video, where I said, you're throwing me under the bus here, aren't you?

14:44And he said, no, I'm not, and then proceeded to throw them under the bus. But I don't care if they prefer American food.

14:48Luke Moore: I honestly couldn't give too shiny shites about all the wankery when it comes to sort of, you know, you've got... But some of their points are just demonstrably not true. What did you think when Ware added fuel to the fire by saying, I prefer Italian-American food to the real thing? But this is why I find this story very enjoyable because there are a lot of people on the east coast of America who are more American than Italian, who will want to be more Italian than American and will fight against McKinney and Timothy Ware. I think this is the thing, actually, to say, as Luke hinted at the start, the brilliant thing is McKinney's got form for this because on what I can only describe as the mind-numbingly boring Juventus documentary there was.

15:33The one with Chiellini? Yes. McKinney's sat at a table. This is when he's in his first spell at Juventus with Chiellini and Buffon. and they've got this, like, can't believe what's happening look on their faces. He goes, you know what would really improve your pizza over here? Ranch sauce. And they look disgusting. And funnily enough, they keep ranch sauce in the fridge for him at Juventus now. It's become a running joke that's sort of got legs. But they go afterwards. I think it's Chiellini goes afterwards. Have you ever had espresso? And he goes, I can't. I shit myself. He's got a very open up his restaurant.

16:09Luke Moore: I think, though, that obviously it sounded like against their wills, but, you know, you just spend a little bit of time with Trump and the Oval Office. You just have these opinions. I've got to shoot from the hip now. You know what I love? Mackeys. I'm going to disrespect the whole nation. I'm going to piss the people off. It's true to the ramble tradition that we've done more on this than we did the game. I agree with Marcus's overall point, which is just, you know, the fetishisation of food culture in general. It's just got to stop. Eat what you want. It doesn't matter. Get cornflakes on a pizza and then we'll talk.

16:40Yeah, there you go. That's a nice idea. Fresh idea. Great idea. You're not interesting because you've watched all four seasons of The Bear and once went to fucking Noble Rock. No one cares. I do quite like The Bear. No one fucking cares. I do like The Bear.

16:51Luke Moore: Yeah, great. It's just a TV show, isn't it? You just wouldn't get it, mate, because it's above your... Yeah. I don't like the amount of seasoning in it. There's too much seasoning. Too many seasons. I do what Luke wouldn't get behind. Yeah. I saw a trailer for the new season of The Bear the other day where it's the main guy. What's his name? Alan Brazil. Young Alan Brazil. I know what the actor's name is. He looks like Alan Brazil. And he says, I made two different versions. One thing's for sure in the restaurant business, you're never on your own. It's like, fuck off. Yeah. So fucking shit. Fuck off.

17:24Luke Moore: You're cooking for me now. Right. Can we get some neaps and tarties over here? Okay. Right. Anyway, sorry for the bollocks, everybody. Get some fucking red sauce on it. Today's special is, three pounds of Guinness Juventus will face Real Madrid in the next round it's a tasty one of the come on this is what we want I was hoping Real Madrid would slip up I was hoping they'd have a really poor night against Salzburg I knew it was going to be ambitious I asked for it I prayed to the football gods for it they did not deliver Andy was on my team you'd quite like a Salzburg win there wouldn't you I think it would have been quite amusing I'll tell you what though Trent Alexander-Arnold was pretty good he played a sort of right wing back so Alonso played three at the back for the first time and you had plenty of Trent like stepping into midfield and playing his passes.

18:13It's kind of like how clubs have sold playing right back to Ainsley, Maitland, Niles. It's like, oh, when we're attacking you can step into midfield. Didn't Trent do that for Liverpool a lot though? He tried to do it. The thing was, he tried to do it with Southgate for England a couple of times and it didn't work. But you're saying this guy who knows what he's doing with tactics might be able to...

18:32Luke Moore: Right, hang on a minute. Don't have a go at Sir Gareth. Sir Gareth Southgate, please, if you don't mind. He's a sir now, isn't he? Yeah. Was he a sir before? Was that a reason? Obviously not. Was he a sir before? Sir Sir Gareth Southgate. He turned up with Prince William doing the sword. He went, I've already done you. So that's a fucking happener. See you later. Where do I put this one? Just put it on the other side. Imagine that. Sir Sir Gareth Southgate. Or would you bookend it? Sir Gareth Southgate, sir. Like he's a teacher. Indeed. Or on a radio. Well, Manchester City will face Al-Hilal in the next round.

19:03Luke Moore: Of course, they beat Pachuca 2-0. Mitrovic didn't play. You've got a big fear about this. You're not going to see him at the world's premier club competition. I don't think we are. Can it genuinely be considered the world's premier club competition if Mitrovic's not involved? I am having... You might roll back on that. There was talk of an injury. There's also talk about, you know, a couple of Premier League clubs interested in him. Apparently, Everton and David Moyes are interested. And I wonder if Mitrovic is doing that thing. He's like, right, I've earned my money. Has the money come into my account?

19:31Luke Moore: I've been here, what, a couple of years now. right it's in I'm not playing anymore I'm going to the top you get to the two year alarm don't you where they can't take the tax back off you cheerio so yes I'm sure he's got injury but I did wonder and I thought is he doing that thing did he set the alarm he's like he set the alarm and he comes up on his iPhone it's during a team meeting the alarm is just Jim Bowen popping up going that's safe also miraculously Mitrovic is only 30 as well she's probably got quite a lot to offer still I think the The alarm also could be, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, elsewhere in the Club World Cup, Inter beat River 2-0.

20:09Luke Moore: Inter wrapped up the group stage campaign with a win over River on Wednesday night. The game ended with a brawl on the pitch. Not that surprising, really. Well, it wasn't the brawl it could have been for two main reasons. Throw a punch. Stop this pushing. The two reasons are that, well, the background is that Denzel Dunfries and Marcus Acuna have beef. They do. It goes back to the 2022 World Cup, where Argentina beat Netherlands on penalties. There was a bit of a back and forth between them. They hate each other. They do hate each other. And they were going at each other all through the game. The reason there wasn't a proper fight, and I am regretful about this because I wanted to see it.

20:45It had been brewing up all game. It's one, because Denzel Dunfreak's run off the pitch faster than he'd ever run the entire game. And secondly, because Marcus Acuna had quite literally 50 men holding him back. It was remarkable the amount of people that were stopping him. Let's have a word for Dunfreak. The thing that hasn't been added to that part of the story, the reason he ran off the pitch so quickly, so he could wait outside the dressing room for a coo-cou. Do it properly. Do it properly. I respect that. You get more room in the tunnel. True. Bit of privacy. Fewer cameras, exactly. Yeah. Let's do it.

21:14Let's go. Let's go. Strip to the waist, to the death. Or I'm not doing it at all. Skin on skin. Yeah.

21:19Luke Moore: No, you're talking, yeah. Obviously, River with a couple of red cards as well. Yeah, get stuck in there. I mean, the Argentinian teams, I would say, have gone down swinging. But, I mean, Bocca did draw with Auckland City, of course. But River are out. So the fixture that we all really wanted to see won't be happening. No, it will be because there's actually a 28th place player. Do you know what? But I was going to say, it wouldn't surprise me if Infantino thought, oh, blimey, yeah, the tenants have been poor. Right, let's have that 28th place player. It is a shame. It is a shame that Boca and River have both gone out.

21:48I'm particularly pleased for the Brazilian teams, but I really, really wanted to see a couple of Argentinian teams go deep. Boca didn't even win a game, which is remarkable, given they've got, you know.

21:58Luke Moore: But they played Auckland City. Yeah. They've had quite a poor domestic season. They have. So it's not a massive surprise. But Inter will play Fluminense in the round of 16. They drew 0-0 with Mamelody Sundowns, which was enough to get them through. The Sundowns have got some admirers, I think, from this tournament. They've made some friends. They've made some friends. They've done the thing that all the proper fans of Irish football hate, where they go to a tournament, do shit, but everyone tells their fans are amazing. Roy Keane's fucking slowly just fused. I think some Irish people the Scottish love that yeah they absolutely love that that's the real win but no but remember Roy Keane that's why they Roy Keane doesn't speak on behalf of anybody speaks on behalf of Cork he's a good Cork man if you're from Cork get in touch he does he speaks on behalf of all of Cork he doesn't speak on behalf of Dennis Irwin no that's he loves to though he loves Dennis Irwin they're mates they probably think similarly he looks up to Dennis Irwin a lot as we all do I've seen his bottom he said you've seen Dennis Irwin's bottom oh because you went and played Old Trafford I had a shower with him once yeah how was it what was your impression of it good arse yeah great arse great arse did he compliment you on the goal you scored at Old Trafford whipped in by Quinton Fortune as if anyone could ever forget it because you mention every fucking five minutes do I you didn't wait to see the front no did you see his cock and balls no respectfully I thought to myself that's enough I thought I could have a little peek here and I thought do you not know little peeking duck is it hanging in the front window I think Vish wants to ask this question, but perhaps he's not quite brave enough, so I'll do it for you, Vish.

23:29How many cocks and balls did you see in the change rooms on that day? I can't remember. That's United related.

23:32Luke Moore: Yeah, none, none, none, none. Out of respect. Don't care about the normals. Just out of respect. We were very much talking eye to eye. Same height, probably. He probably touched taller. Yeah. And it was a lovely old time. Were you impressed by his performance on the pitch? Very. At that age, even. I don't want to talk about this, but you're dragging it out. Well, it's not about what you want. It's about what the listeners want. And they're feeling that they want to hear about Dennis Irwin's arsehole. It's not your running order. Seles Ferdinand levels of being able to hang in the air. Was it? Yes.

24:03Luke Moore: Was Seles there? Seles wasn't there. I don't know why he would be. But Andrew Cole was, and as you mentioned, Quinton Fortune, a fellow South African to the Mamalodi Sundell. Nice link back. There you go. If you earn it back, I don't mind. If you skillfully steer it back, we'll go along with you. You really dropped a shoulder there. Yeah, exactly. Much like Quinton himself. Before he set me up for that goal. Speaking of goals. Do you know what, though? I did think to myself, if Sundowns go deep in this competition, will we have a sort of... Would Hawkwind redo their song, Carry On Sundown? They could do.

24:40Luke Moore: Carry On Sundowns. A purely academic exercise, given it for anyone who's seen Mamaloli Sundowns actually play. Yeah, a reference everybody got there, by the way. Yeah, yeah, Hawkwind. Not even their main song. Who the fuck's Hawkwind? Exactly. Oh, dear. Of course, Kulesheka did a cover of that in the 90s. That's how he knows about it, yeah. Genuinely. Can we hurry up this show? Because Marcus has got to get on a train and go and see Kulesheka at Glastonbury. I've got to go. It's your favourite festival, isn't it? I've got to go into a DeLorean and go back to the 90s. Now, Sundown's coach Miguel Cardoso said, despite the result, the team head home stronger and with more respect around the world.

25:14Luke Moore: You can't disagree with that, Andy Brassel. No, I like Miguel Cardoso a lot. I've got a lot of time for him. Why is that? Help me with my book on Shakhtar. There we go. To be fair, he's answered you there, Mark. I know he has, and I thought there was something in it. He used to coordinate the Youth Academy there. He's had an unbelievable career. So after the original Russian invasion of the Donbass, he was tasked with keeping the Youth Academy going on his own, like for weeks and weeks and weeks. And now he's been a coach in France, in Spain, didn't go particularly well for him in those jobs. And here he is at the Club World Cup.

25:51It's an unbelievable story.

25:52Luke Moore: Andy's got to the top of the game. It's great stuff. It's really great. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. Good man. That insight wasn't befitting of the conversation before it. No, it wasn't. It wasn't. I apologise. Have you seen his arse or not, Andy? What's the most famous arse you've seen? That's a good question. I was actually thinking about that earlier. I knew you were. I knew you were. That's how I know we're in sync. I'll have to have a think about it. Erwin would be up there. What we've done there, we've sandwiched your quite genuine, quite heartfelt insight with bollocks. yeah I want I want I want people to email in I want people to email in the most famous ass they've seen Vish Vish you must have seen some cricket ass you must have you must have seen he's often referred to as the cricket ass we don't get that kind of access yeah oh dear I'm trying to think who was in the New York City FC team when I was hanging around in their changing room yeah which is odd that whole thing in America Lampard yeah I know yeah anyway I think we should move on how many people generally keep their underpants on in front of journalists, even in the US.

26:54Not in the NFL. They had to stop it, didn't they? They had to stop the locker room access. Come one, come all. Too many appendages

27:01Luke Moore: swinging around. I know. It's an outrageous practice over there in America. It's not family friendly. Honestly, as I said before, I wanted to turn around and everybody go, look, come on, we don't need to be here right now. Anyway, a man who does need to be here is Sergio Ramos and Monterey have qualified for the round of 16, beating Urawa Red Diamonds 4-0. Ramos, of course, captains Monterey. they've conceded just one goal all competition they face Dortmund in the next round you wouldn't put it past them I think that's an interesting game yeah that's really nice yeah it's a lovely one Joe Bellingham getting an absolute rude awakening coming up against Sergio Ramos for a bit oh my goodness it'd be amazing the goals I mean I know that Savino has stolen a lot of the thunder with that absolute beauty off the bar yesterday but I want to do a special mention for I mean not just Nelson Dioza's opener for Monterey against Ural which is a fucking beauty I mean if you watch the replay from behind the keeper kind of gets a bit confused There are a lot of good goals in this tournament.

27:49But Jesus Corona scored a fucking howitzer as well. Yeah. If you want good quality goals and you've been overwhelmed by the sheer amount of football by confusing teams you don't recognise, do go onto YouTube and seek out the Monterey 4, Uraro Red Diamonds nil game because the goals in that were amazing. You know, especially with River and Boca going out, I think Monterey carrying on is really, really important. It is. Because their fans have really brought the atmosphere in this Club World Cup. They've been brilliant.

28:17Luke Moore: Absolutely. and Andy of course if they can get past Dortmund which is possible they'd face the winner of Real Madrid and Juventus come on come on something we can all I really would love like I'm using the word unfashionable for want of a better word I don't mean it in a disrespectful way but I'd really love an unfashionable team to go deep in this it'd be great I mean looking around the tournament you think so a Brazilian side will be in the quarterfinal because Palmeiras and Botafogo play each other of course correct and they could face one of them Benfico or Chelsea I mean Fluminense of Inter is a tough order Al Hilal if Mitro's not back then you fancy Man City to pick that.

28:49Luke Moore: Into Miami, it's a shame for them, they get PSG. A chance for Messi to have a little bit of a say in it though. Yeah, exactly. I think now... Which I mean, Marcus, sorry, him to score a free kick when they're 5-0 down about 10 minutes from the end. Indeed. What I'm looking forward to is Vitinha being man of the match in that PSG-Into-Miami game and them giving his post-match interview and going, just to remind you, Messi said I was shit and they shouldn't have signed me. Great. That would be lovely if he said that. It would be petty against the greatest players I've ever played a game, but I'd admire it.

29:19Indeed.

29:19Luke Moore: Well, of course, the group stage is now over. We've enjoyed it. And Andy lived it. But if you want to hear more about Andy's trip to LA, then get over to On the Continent because that, Andy, is where you really spread your wings. Yeah, three-part mini-series on all aspects of the Club World Cup and what the actual World Cup might look like next summer because, of course, we're only a year away from it now. And I guess the US kind of having a run-up about how it's going to logistically host it. I heard you set fire to a self-driving cab. Well, find out. Go to On the Continent and check out Andy's little mini-series to Los Angeles and see if indeed Andy did do something as abhorrent as that.

30:02Luke Moore: But before we go for a break, sad news though. Auckland City players have decided that they don't think their coach is up to the job of managing the team anymore. This is sensational. Due to specific issues because I should say that Paul Poser or Paul Poser as some people may call him. He wasn't there for the first game of the tournament, the 10-0 shellacking, because he had, I think, a minor surgical op back in New Zealand before he went there. So that was their fault. Those suckers lost 10-0. He turned up for the Benfica game, and he lost 6-0, and they kept him at arm's length for about an hour, and then he gets a point against Bocca.

30:32Luke Moore: And now this. Now this, they're going, just because you didn't know who Nicholas Otamendi was. And that was one of the specific issues. Yeah, he didn't know who Otamendi was. In their defence of criticising him for that, I mean, Ottomendi's got 126 Argentina caps and has won the World Cup while playing for some of the biggest teams in the world. It's not like an obscure player. At the same time, if I was a coach of that Auckland City team after they'd lost 10-0 prepping for this game, I'd be like, I'll be honest, lads, I don't think any of our strikers need to worry about who their defenders are.

31:04Yeah. Yeah. Let's just focus on our own box and our own goal. Take it bit by bit.

31:11Luke Moore: He masterminded a draw. He knocked Bocca out of the tournament effectively. I didn't know what him end he was because at the moment we're only managing in the danger zone and the danger zone is the other end of the pitch. So yeah, anyway, so much discussion needs to be had. Tell you what, why don't you introduce me to him when you're up at his end, yeah? Exactly. I haven't got time to look up there. Coming up after this, England's under-21s dominate the Dutch and a new bum could be seen in Arsenal's dressing room.

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34:21it's john mcginn it's dykes

34:32Luke Moore: Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Spells, you're a genius with the buttons. We spend so much of the first bit talking about bums and John McGinn's on the internet. Marcus, I prefer that one about the jobby. I know you do. But that's what we have today. Classics from the pantheon of Scottish commentary. Well, we do have something for you in just a moment. but it's nothing to do with jobbies though spoiler England under 21s beat the Netherlands under 21s 2-1 in the Euro under 21 semifinal I think I've said under 21 enough I think after the first mention of under 21 I should just be able to get on with it we should be able to say England are through to another final yeah just say there we go in another big major semifinal England 2, Netherlands 1 once again under 21s and then just move on there's no feeling like England beating Netherlands in a semifinal it turns out we do it so often and it's boring.

35:24Luke Moore: Yeah. With lovely late goals. Yeah. Yes. Yes, of course, they're in the final again, thanks to two goals from Harvey Elliott. Tell you what, that second one in particular, I mean, he is... He's brilliant. He's looking like a world beater. At this level, he's too good. Yeah. He's waiting. Please just go and play somewhere next season where he can play every week. Well, so if you didn't see this, I mean, the first goal was a lovely one. He just battered it with the right foot because he'd missed a couple of efforts in the first half. Roofed it, didn't he? which I'd be willing to know what the XG was on them.

35:57Luke Moore: But by his standards, he probably felt maybe he should have scored without being too harsh. The second goal was just delightful. Just ghosted through. Just beautiful. On balance is incredible. And England deserved that as well, because the Dutch equaliser was a beauty from Ohio. But it was kind of against the run. It was a defensive error. It was a great finish. Yes. England were like themselves in a bit of pickle. But England have grown into this tournament, of course. If you didn't watch the game and you saw that, you go, OK, so they've scored a late goal to sneak through there. They were much better.

36:22Luke Moore: They were. Much better. And when that second goal went in, Joe Hart very much wore his heart on his sleeve. Elliot. Still Elliot. Is he going to go all the way here? Yes!

36:37I watched that in real time and I was absolutely cracking up on my sofa hearing Hart do that. I actually really like Joe Hart as a co-commentator. I think it's quite interesting, good insight. He seems to genuinely happy to be there, which of course so many commentators and co-commentators don't realise. Pundits as well, actually. you've got to be able to show that you're really enjoying yourself and Hart does seem really enthusiastic and I know that there's much more to the game than this but it's actually very noticeable how much insight he can give on goalkeeping positions, saves all that kind of stuff you don't really hear that much and that's something that's quite lacking in analysis Paul Robertson never does it even though he's a goalkeeper I think he's on five lives still to an extent anyway he never offers it in that way that Hart does I actually think Hart's a great addition it turns out that it's a good thing for a pundit to be able to actually explain the game

37:21Luke Moore: but Hart has done really well he's been really really good post career with the he was always a very willing talker when he was a player great neck as well great neck absolutely yeah but also one can be reminded an amazing career he had obviously when he went through the loan spells totally right and also you should probably throw in there and say that for a profile of the player he is and the career he's had to be given the under 21s gig he could be some people would say I'm not fucking doing that I'm Joe Hart but he's enthusiastic enough to go, yeah, I love a bit of that. Yeah, exactly. Good old Joe.

37:54Luke Moore: Well done, Joey. Good for the lads. Good for Carsley's cattle. Carsley's Cavaliers. Carsley's Cavaliers. I was telling you, the youngest would be Carsley's calves. There we go. That's nice. Carsley's cunts. You could have had cunnies. You could have softened it. I don't think that does soften it, though. It does. I think it makes it worse. All right, you cunny. Carsley said, it's a shame that there's only one game left with this outstanding team. We want more. We don't care that it's a final. Give us another one. I love it. I love it. England are a goal up against Germany. Come on. Score a goal.

38:27Luke Moore: We want extra time. We're doing your best to three. How do you feel about winning the under-21s again, Lee? That's a shame. It's over. Yeah, that's annoying. More games. Some people are now going to start saying, maybe I should step up to the seniors, but I really like it here. He's probably thinking, I'm absolutely raging at how bad Thomas Tuchel's been because I don't want to go anywhere near that again. No, absolutely not. Yeah. Well, England, of course, lost to Germany in the final group game. so revenge may be on their mind. They beat France 3-0 in the other semi-final. So it's all poised to be a classic Andy Bradshaw.

38:56Luke Moore: It should be a really good final. Germany have been excellent. They have. They've got a big Nick Volk to Marder, that's why. Yeah, and he's a big name on the transfer markets at the moment. He's got six goals in the tournament, yeah. If he was a professional wrestler, he'd be being called the eighth wonder of the world, hailing from parts unknown. Six goals in the tournament, he's six foot six as well. I mean, it's quite indicative. Like, bear in mind that Stuttgart signed him on a free from Werder Bremen where he couldn't get in the team last summer. He's had a really good first season replacing Girassi and the fact that Denis Undav has missed quite a part of the season.

39:33And because he's so atypical, I mean, yes, he can win the ball in the air and all that sort of stuff, but he's got so much more to his game. But because there are so few strikers of that kind of stature at the moment, he's like, he's kind of like a unicorn. Yeah, I agree with you. Loads of big clubs are interested in him. I can't wait for him to score two goals in 28 games for West Ham in two years' time. Is there a bit of... That will be after his move to Bayern this summer. He's apparently already agreed personal terms with him. Oh, wow. The personal terms being... Fucking congratulations, Nick.

40:02Luke Moore: He's not going to play much there, is he? Well, that's it. Presumably, the personal terms are you pay me ten times as much to do one tenth of the work while Harry Kane does all of it. Would they loan him out then? No, no. He would be there as backup for Kane. Crazy. I appreciate he scored a couple of hat tricks in this tournament but a lot of people were talking about similar to you actually about how he does loads of different things so are you kind of alluding to the fact that he's he could be miscast as a out-on-out front man? Maybe I mean he's very very intelligent at linking play he makes great runs look everyone always knew he had the potential but he just felt he was never going to get there he was never getting the opportunities Andy has he come up against good centre-backs are the quality that England have got in this under 21 tournament and can he cause England problems yeah I mean look France France were a decent side and it caused them all sorts of trouble okay really I didn't see that game I only saw the England yeah it was it was funny because like 3-0 is slightly misleading because it was a little bit more balanced than that but like Germany scored twice in the first 15-16 minutes and then it was really tough for France right come on the boys it'd be exciting it could be do you think Arsenal would be interested in the big German?

41:18Luke Moore: Well, they need a centre-forward. Well, they do, Andy. It does appear that Jokeres and his camp think they're pivoting towards Manchester United for some reason. That's the report. Has news not reached? Lisbon, I don't understand. They don't have the internet there. Also, Jokeres and his entourage think that Sporting are asking too much. And he reportedly told the Sporting President on the phone that he won't play another game for the club. It's a shame that it's ending so acrimoniously because they had a deal for him to go this summer and the trust has sort of gone on both sides. It's a real shame.

41:56Luke Moore: Yeah, I mean, he apparently has been Arsenal's primary target, but old lovely Bertha and co. were getting a bit frustrated about the deal, which clearly Jockres is himself. But as I say, reports are saying... Sometimes we think it's a nightmare. Yeah, well, and if he's thinking, I really want to play in the Premier League and Sporting are going, well, we're not budging on how much we think you are, then naturally maybe they do pivot to Manchester United. Yeah, exactly. I'll tell you, we'll give us 15 million extra. I'll pick up the phone now. Yeah, it will be taken from the staff's pockets. Yeah.

42:24Luke Moore: So Jim will make them remortgage all their houses. The money will be on offer. Arsenal have actually signed someone though, Marcus, crucially, haven't they? Well, it looks like a fee has been agreed with Brentford for midfielder and Brentford captain Christian Norgard. Vish, you're a fan of this man. I am, yeah. What do you think of this sign? He's 31, so no spring chicken, but still got some life in those chicken legs. Well, he covers a lot of ground. His engine seems to be amazing from what I've seen. He covers a lot of ground still. He feels like a more mobile Jorginho, doesn't he? In terms of the way they use, Arsenal specifically use Jorginho.

42:56That's a really crucial point, actually, because a few Arsenal fans out there are moaning about, you know, obviously there was the Ag Bonahor thing on TalkSport about their shopping in Asda, not realising that he's not really going there as a starter, is he? Yeah, exactly. I think he's a really smart pick-up.

43:12Luke Moore: They need to bolster the squad a bit, as we've seen in previous seasons. And also as well, when you have a player like Declan Rice, who can play that number eight position so very, very well, actually, it gives them another option in that midfield. You want him to do that as much as possible. Totally, because in that position, he's one of the best midfielders in the world. He's a brilliant holding midfielder as well, just playing in front of the back four, by the way. He's superb at that. But he's just excelled so much to me. It's kind of like, yeah, well, why not then? you can get a Premier League operator there.

43:42Luke Moore: Because you can pay a fair few quid for young players now and you're not sure and everything's a gamble. I understand that. Norgaard's been playing very well for Brentford in the Premier League for a little while now. And he was their captain. And I often ask Nor, what are some of the criticisms? Not enough experience, not enough leadership, not enough bite in that midfield. Well, they're killing three birds with one stone with Norgaard. But you're right to say he probably won't start. What a stone. It's a great stone. It's been flung. Very small birds. One or the other. Perhaps. Yeah. But, I mean, and there's question marks around Thomas Partey, whether he's going to leave or stay.

44:14Luke Moore: That needs to, we need to see what happens there. But, I mean, Partey is a year older than Norgaard, and I understand he's operated at a higher level, but wage-wise and so on, it might be a bit too expensive for us. From the Brentford side of the ledger, though, if you're a Brentford fan, you are quite fearful of what's happening now because you've lost your manager, who's been an absolute totemic figure for you. Yes. You're probably going to lose Brian Mbwemo. It looks like you've already lost Christian Norgaard, captain, as you say. There's people sniffing around players like King Lewis Potter, Nathan Collins.

44:43You're good young players. Lisa as well. Yeah, Visser as well. Flecken's gone. Yeah, well, quite. So I think...

44:49Luke Moore: It'll test the resolve of that club. We often hear that it's very well run and they know what they're doing. How much can Queevin Keller actually do? I mean, it's been a great... It's been a gand outfit. Yeah, it is. But this is kind of the problem, isn't it? The fact is you can have a plan at the start of the transfer window if you are a below elite club to sell two or three players. but that makes people in the dressing room get twitchy and then everyone wants to leave all of a sudden. Yeah, but like I say, I think that with Brentford, much has been made about how they've been run and so on and so forth.

45:22Luke Moore: This is, this would be the biggest test they've faced, one could argue. Definitely. But I think they'll be quietly confident, some of those fans. Yeah, they'll be concerned, absolutely. And Thomas Frank is the main concern. But as I say, they've seen a bit of change. they've seen over the years. But they're a structurally strong club. Yes, exactly. Structurally stronger than Manchester United at the moment. May not have made a big announcement this week, haven't they? Well, they've appointed Will Cavalio as their new head chef for the men's first team. It's annoying because it's a name that is like, oh, that's a Portuguese defence midfielder.

45:58I thought that. I saw the announcement and I saw his name and thought exactly the same as you. Then I saw him leaning over a table, looking down the lens, over what appeared to be quite a large Yorkshire pudding. And I thought, oh. It does. It looks like one of those ones, you know, when you go to It's a Scream or similar pub where they put your whole Sunday dinner inside a massive Yorkshire pudding. Which, by the way, is an absolute crime against cuisine. This is some cuisine Marcus and I can get behind. Do that on the bear. I might watch it. Why is that a crime? It's just wrong. It makes the Yorkshire way too soggy.

46:33Way too soggy. Oh, Andy, I've got something, I've got to brace me to you. Have you not seen those wraps which are Yorkshire puddings which hold the roast inside them? Roast beef in there. I had something similar.

46:44Luke Moore: I went to Warwick Castle a few months ago. Great place, I recommend it. And they do like a sort of a wrap and you've got all that sort of business. It's magnificent. But the wrap itself is a Yorkshire pudding. Yeah. He doesn't like it because it's English. It's English, that's why he doesn't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it wasn't for you and Eddie Izzard, we'd still be in the European Union, you prats. If he called it like Pastage de Yorkshire He'd like it He'd like it It's a great shame Well Will Carvalho It is funny that Man United Are announcing chefs It's class Yeah From Brighton though He's a good chef They supported him off Junior MasterChef Does great fish and chips Brownie does ranch sauce On the pizzas as well Carvalho said It's a new challenge A new step in my career Don't need a quote from him I'm massively grateful For my time at Brighton though As if As if Like a Brighton fan Would be like Oh he didn't even thank us when they play why's he going to them when he finish above them dead club when Brighton come to Old Trafford this season he's going to refuse to make the food out of respect is that the deal he's not going to ding the bell for service out of respect he's not going to ding the bell why does this taste like shit you know former club refuse to season it because they've only got him on loan you see alright coming up after this I did 42 steaks on loan in 52 appearances at Brighton coming up after this.

48:02Luke Moore: Luca Modric heads to Italy.

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49:42Luke Moore: Before we get to the modfather, Modric, Leicester City of Sackrude Van Nistelrooy! Oh, whoever saw that coming? I love that. That happened before we left the studio today. It happened with the... The big one. It happened with the speed of continental drift. Yes. Do you think he realised he was still the manager? I knew he was because the announcement had been made, but why now? I mean, two months after they've been relegated. He hasn't lost a game for over a month. I think it's hard. We haven't conceded in ages. You have, Ruud, actually. We had a tie-in-the-closed-door pre-season game against the under-14s last week, and that was nil-nil.

50:20Luke Moore: Well, apparently they were watching the Club World Cup together, and they were watching Benfica play Bayern and Van Esports, who's that? The back there, I don't know. Yeah, that's it, that's the farthest draw. Yes, exactly, yeah. According to Sky Sports, it's because it would have affected their latest PSR accounts which refresh on the 1st of July. That doesn't make any sense either. Well, that's what Sky are reporting. But why does it make sense? Because what it's implying is it would affect their latest PSR accounts which were fresh on July the 1st. Well, if you sack him on 27th of June or if you sack him on the 1st of May, it's still the same year.

50:56If you were waiting for that, you'd wait till after the 1st of July, presumably. Yeah, but Luke, maybe Rue doesn't know that.

51:00Luke Moore: I don't think Rue knows much. He wasn't leaving. Oh, no. Leicester City clearly didn't know that. Can we all just say it's very unlike Leicester to get their sums wrong? Right, OK. Yes, exactly, yeah. Because this is an exceptional expense anyway, right? Yeah, I love the way that in PSR and FFP, firing a coach is described as an exceptional expense. No one ever does that. No one ever does that. It's a strange one, isn't it? Is the ruling not different in the AFL? Maybe that's it, but I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But it is an odd one. Perhaps, though, that they've got someone in place now who's going to take over.

51:33Luke Moore: I mean, Sean Dyche is one of the frontrunners, and maybe they just didn't want to be managerless. I don't know. Danny Roll, also from Sheffield Wednesday, is one of the frontrunners. And maybe to link the two, he's currently negotiating his exit from Sheffield Wednesday without a next destination. Certainly the last report I read was there was no next destination in mind. It was just kind of to put some feelers out for the summer. So maybe this has been in the works. Do you think this is why they've... Quite possibly. Talking of impeccable financial management, do you think Sheffield Wednesday's owner will have to bring down his asking price for the club from£300 million?

52:06Luke Moore: Now Danny Roll's leaving. Possibly. Possibly, Andy. That is a distinct possibility. I mean, the thing is, though, every single club you talk about in the FA, you've got to really talk about some kind of financial issue. Yes. Yes, that's true. With a few exceptions, you know. Indeed, yeah. Gentlemen, let's turn our attention to Luka Modric. He's agreed to join AC Milan after the Club World Cup. This is a lovely move. Isn't that? It's beautiful, isn't it? He loves playing football, that man. Absolute retirement area is that, isn't it? Well, for a man of his quality, yes. Because you would think Saudi or...

52:34Italy generally, I think of De Bruyne as well, Napoli, now him there.

52:40Luke Moore: What's he going to eat though? I mean, there's not many options. No, exactly. Well, to be fair, he can just take a flight to America and eat on the East Coast. It's just an hour down the road to Chew In, where he can borrow some ranch sauce off Western. It's true. Yeah, and get himself some Nutella. Monday pasta, Tuesday pizza, Wednesday fish, Thursday steak. Friday would be fish, would it not? Probably go back to fish on Friday. Fish it up. What I love about Modric is that he's still, as far as I know, Andy, you can tell me if I'm wrong here, he's still not retired from international football either.

53:07No. He can't get enough of it. He just cannot. I think he'll continue playing international football once he's retired from club football. That is a lovely old job. I'd love that. It makes sense as well, because Italy's obviously much closer to Croatia, so much shorter hop. If anything, he is doubling down on his international career. Who loves football more? A bit of olive oil for the joints as well.

53:25Luke Moore: Who loves football more, Luka Modric or Cristiano Ronaldo? A bit Modric, I think, because Ronaldo loves everything that goes with it. Yeah, but Modric loves it for the right reasons. Anyway, Ronaldo loves football only as much as it will allow the room for him to not be loving himself. Yeah, but he signed a new two-year deal with Al Masa. Pay for the legal fees. Is he getting slightly more than Luka Modric at Milan, do we think? Probably. Ronaldo is going to be playing beyond his 42nd birthday in the Saudi Pro League. I don't know what the deal is with Modric. I'd imagine that Milan are probably paying him a few quid.

53:58I'm sure they're wetting his beak to an extent, Marcus.

54:00Luke Moore: Yeah, but to respond to what you're saying, Andy, to compare wages, I don't think they're going to be paying him£178 million a year. I don't think they're going to be paying him£3.4 million a week. He gets 80 grand a goal. Yeah, I don't think the signing bonus will be 24 and a half million pounds. I don't think that he'll get 40 grand bonus for an assist, which will increase 20 % in the second year. Read a bit about the staff. I don't think Modric will have 16 people working full time for him, including three drivers, four housekeepers, two chefs, three gardeners and four security people. It's actually 18 people because he's also got two strikers in there as well.

54:39Is that what it is? In case he doesn't want to play.

54:40Luke Moore: yeah I mean he may well get a bonus if Modric may get a bonus if Milan win the league he might not be as high as 8 million and he may not get 4 million if he wins the golden boot like Ronaldo would be it would seem unlikely and I'm not sure if AC Milan are going to give Modric 4 million pounds worth of private jet expenses but that's what Ronaldo's going to get baby I don't want to be a dickhead here you think that's fair no I don't think 4 million pounds worth of private jet expenses amounts to that much I don't think it matters, does it? I don't think he's going to worry about that. Do you think they're mugging him off with this deal?

55:15I do think they're mugging him off.

55:17Luke Moore: Imagine if he came back in the room. This is a piss take. I'm about to use my goal bonus to fill up in Monaco. What the hell is that about? Go back into the conference room, have a look at those. A few sticking points here. Some questions. Someone has done some maths for us. Well, not for us. They've done it for themselves, but we'll steal it. Saying that with 35 goals and four assists last year, Ronaldo would make it almost an extra£3 million in bonuses if he matches those numbers. Without actually winning a trophy. It is extraordinary. 35 goals and four assists tells its own story, doesn't it?

55:49I mean... You know what's really surprising, a number that is very surprising, is the fact that we know he will go beyond his 42nd birthday. Because I think Cristiano Ronaldo's at the point now where he'll stop telling people how old he is. Yeah, that's a good point. It's rude to ask. It is, yeah. But yeah, I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner,

56:07Luke Moore: but it might do into the 40s. It's interesting because a month ago, Ronaldo posted on social media, the chapter is over. Well, cha-ching, the chapter is going to be rewritten now because that kind of money turns most people's heads. It's like the Game of Thrones or the woman who wrote about the Wizards. They weren't going to do the last book, were they, until the bumps? Until the money came in. But crucially, Ronaldo said the chapter's over, not the book. The next chapter turns out to be about exactly the same subject. Eddie Murphy, Beverly Hills Cop 3. There we go. Do it for the money. literally when he was promoting the film, as I've mentioned before, he was saying he did it for the money.

56:42Yeah. Disappointing for the producer of that movie anyway.

56:46Luke Moore: But hardly a surprise. Do you think that was the last thing Eddie Murphy thought he'd have to do creatively for the money? Not the worst thing he's ever done. No, no. Anyway. That's a lot of debt, that man. Now, let's finish the show by talking about the film Saipan, of course, which we spoke about on Wednesday's Ramble. that includes Steve Coogan playing Mick McCarthy. Now, Pete thought it should be a play instead, but listener Michael on X pointed out that it has already been made for the stage as a musical in Ireland. Obviously a musical. But Riverdance, maybe. Could be. Why not? I can't imagine.

57:19Luke Moore: Is that... You're thinking, is that... I'm just thinking about how much I want to lean into that stereotype and I've decided not at all. I just said maybe. Oh, yeah, Roy Keane just Riverdancing off the coach, you see. Mick McCarthy's throwing a pint of Guinness at him, is he? is he just ten renditions of the Pogues is it I respect Fairtown New York all I've said today is that Roy Keane's a good cork man that's all I've said I just hear about this and I'm a bit bewitched that's all now the play was just simply called I Keno and it depicted the incident as a mock epic melodrama set in ancient Rome which genuinely sounds good set in ancient Rome come on sounds good but I do like Steve Coogan's obviously Steve Coogan's acting career has gone really well.

58:04Through the roof. Yeah, clearly got some acting chops about him these days. But he also leans into where he came from, which is the impressionist thing.

58:11Luke Moore: He looks good as Big Mick as well. Andy, Luke and Pete both said they wouldn't be interested in watching this film. What about you? What's your take? I would love to watch it. I thought you would. I think there's a bit of a macabre fascination with it. Yeah. Would you say so, Vish? I'd watch it, yeah. Yeah, you see. I'd like a nice cinema. A nice cinema. Yeah. Otherwise... I'd have food delivered to you. Not Italian food, but... All I would say about is Coogan looking good as Mick McCarthy? He does look good as him. But I think what I've detected here is that Coogan is leaning to this film as much as he can, but he's not prepared to go full Mick McCarthy haircut for some reason.

58:45I don't remember Mick McCarthy ever having that swept back.

58:48Luke Moore: Well, because he was sort of balding, wasn't he? So it was brushed back. Right, okay. But it was to that extent. Was it that level of weft or was it kind of... Weft? I don't think it's that bad. Yeah, I think in terms of casting, you're thinking sort of Sam the Eagle out of the Muppets, really, aren't you? A little bit. Yeah. A little bit, yeah. McCarthy looked like that. Yeah. Like Sam the Eagle out of the Muppets. Sam the Bold Eagle, right? Yeah, but I mean, it's not like Coogan's doing it with little braids in his hair or something. No, but Coogan's gone too, I think he's gone too kind of...

59:13Who did you want to do it? Daniel Day-Lewis? I don't know. Yeah, that'd be great. I think it's fine. Okay. It's just a minor bugbear of mine, that's all. Okay.

59:20Luke Moore: Well, there we are, everybody. Right, the bugbears are over, and that means the Football Ramble's over for today. Thanks for listening. Part of the Acast Creator Network, of course, the Football Ramble. remember we're back today this afternoon for Luke's game an epic battle between Luke and Vish it's kind of like our Club World Cup vibe here it is a bit Vish already took the Jackson Sockopedia crown for the season didn't he he did he's on some form were you good at Luke's game I can't really remember but no nor can I we're going to find out later today make sure you subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you do not miss it thank you very much Luke Moore thank you very much thank you Andy Brassel thank you for doing to Hantharajah thank you and thank you mid-McCafe.

1:00:06The Football Ramble is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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From the publisher

That's a wrap on the group stages for the Club World Cup! Sadly, we're saying goodbye to the mighty Mamelodi Sundowns and River Plate, who oh so nearly gave us a proper brawl against Inter. Shame.


Marcus, Luke, Vish and Andy (fresh back from LA!) discuss that and just how f**cked Juventus players Weston McKennie and Timothy Weah are after slagging off Italian food. Plus, in the time it's taken you to read this, Cristiano Ronaldo has probably made a £1m and been served a diamond encrusted steak by 15 different members of staff thanks to his new Al Nassr deal. Join us!


And remember: what's the most famous arse you've ever seen? Can you beat Denis Irwin? Email us [email protected].


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