STEVE-O, STEVE-O, STEVE-O

0:00I am the milkman of human kindness and I will leave an extra pint everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. Man City were poor, but Chelsea were magnificent. It's Wednesday, 26th of November. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm David Cartlidge.

0:24Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. What an opening line that was. From friend of the Ramble, Hank. Thank you, Hank, for giving us that intro line. Bit of Billy Bragg, it would appear. if you want to submit an intro line for a future episode then become a friend of the Ramble on our Patreon sign up for just five bucks a month you'll get an extended edition of today's Ramble on last week's Ramble Uncut we learnt that the old Wembley gates have been shipped to Chile and my goodness there is a story about Napoleon's penis which is well worth your attention head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved now I'm not even joking about that David if anyone was needing an update on where the old thing is we got you covered It's been keeping me up at night, honestly.

1:06Well, there's a joke in there somewhere. Now, let's start with last night's Champions League. Chelsea 3, Barcelona 0. Hats off to the blue side in West London. They were magnificent. They really were. They really were. Now, Ferran Torres missed a golden opportunity really early on. Other than that, all Chelsea. And you know what? I actually think that red card gives Barcelona an excuse. Because the way the game was going, I wouldn't have been surprised if the scoreline had been exactly the same anyway. They just couldn't live with the pace that Chelsea had. They were quicker in thought and in action.

1:44They pressed them hard to the point when they just let them make their own mistakes. Barcelona's high line was a ridiculous idea in this fixture and Chelsea just absolutely feasted on it. They were so good. I mean, there's not much to add to that, David, because Jim's kind of summed it all up. but it was an irresistible performance from Chelsea. Yeah, he sums it really, really well. Chelsea were outstanding from the off and like Jim said, for Barca to go with that high line was ridiculous anyway. He loves it though. But to persist with it after you then go down to 10 is just insane. I mean, I'm really grateful that they did.

2:22It made it very entertaining for us. They were queuing up Chelsea. They got the ball in midfield, they switched it out wide and they had four or five players just lining up basically to tap it in from a ball across the face and yeah they had what was it three forward goals this lot I think it was three in the end yeah because I think one of them stood didn't it yeah the delap one yeah yeah it was a touch and go for that one but yeah irresistible from Chelsea and this was a really really strong performance and I think yeah I mean people's going to focus I think in Barcelona on the red card and they already have I've looked at the papers this morning in Spain and Araljo's on the front cover and they're saying like disgrace and all this and what have you like that.

2:58But it's quite staggering because he was one of the most highly rated young centre-backs in the world at one point. But he got a bad injury, he's come back and he simply hasn't been the same again. And he was really, really showing up last night, I think, for such a silly, idiotic decision. Yeah. The captain of the side as well. So the first booking was for arguing with the referee and then he makes a mad tackle like that. On Mark Cucuraya, does that? Man of the match, Mark Cucuraya. He was amazing, wasn't he? The theory holds. People get close to Mark Cucuraya and they cannot help but just hit him.

3:29Just lose their minds at whatever body part is nearest. I think he had a bit of a revenge game, Kukareya. I think he's got a chip on his shoulder about the fact that Barca didn't sign him and bring him back and such like they've done with numerous other players. Varane Torres, for instance, he came in, other young players have come back to the club and come into the club. And he always just plays the extra edge against them. You can really, really see he had a point to prove. yeah because he can be quite an sort of enjoyably sort of mad player to watch whether he's tripping up over himself he's chaotic he's chaotic but it's a good kiosk yeah I mean look at what he's won on the international level and obviously even club level with Chelsea and so and he puts in those kind of performances he's on his day he's one of the finest fullbacks yeah I mean he just he was basically the designated babysitter for Jamal wasn't he just absolutely just He did a great job.

4:23He locked him down completely. Well, I tell you what. He sent him to bed a... I mean, he literally... Has he been in any trouble? Absolutely not. He's been good as gold. Because he normally is, not with me. Yeah, I mean, having been at the match, the atmosphere was quite something at Stamford Bridge last night. And obviously in games where Chelsea are at home and the majority of them, they've played in the Champions League. When they're playing, say, Ajax, who have been quite poor or Benfica at home, the games haven't been the most exciting and they're expected to win and the atmosphere can be quite laid back everyone in that ground was on it and I don't know, did that feed through to the players I think it was just quite a harmonious situation really and the crowd fed off the players and vice versa and yeah, there were plenty of chants with regard to Esteval or Esteval should we say, the stress on that syllable or Stephen as I like to call him because that's basically what it is.

5:22Steve. Yeah. Everyone I know who you mean. Well, they were chanting Steve-O, Steve-O in a very, very jelty way. But, you know, they were singing to Limon Yuma, especially when he went off, you know, you're just a shit Estaval, you know. And because the game was billed as one versus the other, which is, you know, a load of sort of paper talk nonsense. But Yuma, very, very quiet, as opposed to his opposite number, Estaval, who a lot of people have been saying it for a reasonable amount of time now that this lad is going to be up there with the best players in the world soon enough. That performance, David, and that goal as well, and his demeanour, and he looks like an older head on younger shoulders.

6:07You forget how young he is and how new he is to the Premier League and to Europe in general. I mean, a huge move, of course, from Brazil for a teenager. you run out of superlatives. Yeah, he's very, very explosive. And I think if he does kick on and goes to be the player that Chelsea hope and Brazilians hope that he can be, then I think we'll probably look back at this and say, this was a bit of a moment. This was the moment when he kind of came, he tipped over the edge sort of thing. And especially the Yamal narrative, of course, added to it. You know, somebody who is seen as the next big thing.

6:42So that was really, really impressive from him. And yes, he does look really impressive. and Chelsea signed a lot of young wingers with the hope that some of them obviously will kick on and Esteval definitely looks like the one who you think, all right, he has got a bit of something extra about him over Gittins or Garnaccio. He's a keeper, isn't he? In a way that, as you say, sometimes Chelsea are kind of signing players with a lot of value where they can get a bit out of them and then move them on and replace them. Yeah, exactly. But at the same time, it is providing them gradually with a core of brilliant players like obviously Caicedo's worked out Fernandes has worked out Cole Palmer has worked out you look at Esteval or Esteval Steve you look at Steve yeah you're right I love the last who was Dev yeah yeah the tradition of it he's surely going to be one of those kind of tentpole players as well and he keeps having these moments he scored for Brazil recently as well but it's actually his fifth goal for Brazil that he scored recently and he's only 18 years old just you know everything in front of him he is influencing and yeah he's a very exciting player to watch that's part of it as well isn't it the aesthetic it's incredible but the way he jinked it through the defenders it was either you're going to foul me or I'm getting through and that's not because you know that's not because Barcelona are down to 10 he's got 2 or 3 mil on him there oh totally and the finish as well I was going to say the back lift on the shot but I love that whenever it's it a message to all young forwards there if you get in that position if you try and go across the keeper yeah fine but often the keeper's got the angle when you're quite close in like that.

8:15Just roof it. Stick it in the roof. High and hard, yeah, yeah. As Ryan Giggs showed Arsenal that time, Jim, in a semi-final. It's an unnecessary stray, I appreciate it. But we're talking about the Champions League and seldom do we ever mention Manchester United these days. Strays all over the place. It's like I'm on a Greek package holiday and I like it. Oh, dear. Well, yeah, Chelsea, magnificent throughout the side, the intensity they played with. And I think, Jim, that you look at Chelsea, what they're doing this season and where they are in the league. There's a few people saying, can Chelsea, is there a title challenge, for example?

8:53And Chelsea fans generally, for what I've heard and witnessed, is kind of like, no, probably not. But when they play like this, and I appreciate this type of performance is just impossible to do week in week out because it was so good. But this is what they're capable of, this side. Well, do you remember last season, feels like it was around this time as well. They had a really good run and we were all starting to say the same things. Like, oh, are they a little bit ahead of schedule here? Is there a potential for them to have a title run in? And they are a year older and a year wiser now in some ways.

9:26And a very young squad. Yeah, but again, this is the thing, there's a lot of churn with it. So it's about consistency for them. They've got the talent there. Absolutely, there's an amazing squad there. I think it probably is a little bit too soon. Maybe it's, again, it's that amount of change and there's still a lot of quite inexperienced players. But, I mean, you know, they look more consistent than Liverpool. They look more consistent than Man City. So who knows? Well, I wonder if, I mean, they're six points behind Arsenal. I just wonder what the mentality is for, say, Chelsea. Or I say one or two other sides, really, is Man City and Chelsea, you would say at this point.

10:03I wonder if they're going, oh, Arsenal are going to run away with it. So just naturally, there's just a hint of not switching off, but the focus isn't as razor sharp as it was say last night. To be honest, I'd be surprised if even Man City felt like that. These are all very competitive people. Their entire careers are geared around competition. But they're also human beings. And I just wonder what Maresca is saying to those players. Because is he saying, wait, come on, we're in this talk? I think it'll be game by game. I think he's saying game by game. And I would say that, David, because I think that's what you're seeing.

10:38And you don't want to put too much pressure on a young squad as well. So if they start thinking that, I could see them crumble. I've still got my doubts about Chelsea on a few areas, about Maresca and how he sets up sometimes in certain games against certain types of opposition. Most Chelsea fans do as well. Exactly. The young players as well. And also, I still think there's going to be a kick-on from the Club World Cup at some point with that squad. We've already seen it with Palmer, I think, getting overloaded. And I know he had that freak toe incident. But before that, he was clearly overloaded in his groin.

11:03And that's what's caused that injury. and I think they might get a few the Christmas period is going to be really interesting for how they handle that with all the games being such a good I think Cole Palmer coming back this chat he may feature on the weekend so that would be a huge boost for them he just needs to knock her up in the middle of the night for a wee he's a footballer so he's not sure on means get a little urinal right next to the bed it might not be the most hygienic thing Jim but if it stops him stubbing his toe and going out for a couple of games. What you probably want in that situation is a little pipe in your room that goes directly into the plumbing.

11:42Now you're talking about it. So, you know, it's a little bit more hygienic. Yes. Yes. Ideally, we'd all have a pipe, wouldn't we? Yeah, I mean, I have patented the piss pipe if anyone is thinking of stealing this. I'm also looking for investors. Sorry. I've derailed that. I'll give you a turn, mate. This isn't Dragon's Den, man. So, Cole Palmer to come back. one man who did come back though was Liam De Lappe came on and scored and I found it interesting that so Pedro Neto played as a sort of false nine or whatever you want to call it and he's done pretty well this season he's chipped in with assists and goals got great pace as we know as he very much displayed at one moment in the second half so I think he's done pretty well there but maybe maybe I think slightly old fashioned I say slightly because most teams do play with one centre forward but I do tend to think if a side doesn't have somebody up there, I do wonder, you know, how potent are they and so on.

12:37And so to see Liam DeLapp coming back in there, I thought was great for them. Scores. And it was interesting the reaction from the other players. They clearly like the guy. You see Enzo Fernandes was absolutely delighted for DeLapp. In fact, I thought Fernandes probably should have shot, actually, originally when he has that chance, but obviously lays it off to DeLapp. It's a good finish as well. It was a lovely finish, yeah, when the defender was really, really on him. So apparently he's quite a popular member of the side. So I wonder if we're going to see him feature a bit more because it does give them another dimension up top, of course.

13:07It's probably the one position you look at with Chelsea. Is that something that's up for grabs? Other certain areas, you know, Caicedo, Fernandes, you know, Palma, obviously these are mainstays, Cucuraya and such. But the striking position is one that is up for grabs. With Jackson going to Bayern. Yeah, exactly. And they've only got Mackey who came back from loan from Sunderland as well. So they've only got him, De Laap. Gio Pedro is kind of a bit of a lot of different things at once. He's about, yeah, he's a purple. I do like Jao Pedro, but he's very much a purple patch striker. Yeah. So you'll get seven and nine, and then he'll just not score for another 10 games.

13:40So he's kind of like that. So yeah, it is. And DeLapp can be a good focal point for them. And you clearly want somebody else to talk about maybe going on the plane. All right, David. That's what you're getting at. I know your agenda spelling. Seriously. I'm done for calling him out on this. Exactly. It does give Thomas Tuchel food for thought, doesn't it? Yeah. Are we going to do 10 minutes on Jamie Gittins now? You could do it on Rhys James if you want. Played in midfield? Could he sit next to Declan Rice in midfield? I don't know. But yeah, another good form of it. As you say, they've got their mainstays in the side.

14:12They're growing together as a squad. They look like they're kind of going somewhere. So it's a huge win. There's no doubt about that. And it'll make people step up and take note. Because Barcelona, I know this Barcelona side isn't brilliant, but it's still a side who, when you think about teams that are challenging, potentially for the Champions League. I think they would get a mention. You see the way they dispatch teams sometimes. There is brilliance in there. Yeah, I mean, semi-finalists last season. But I mean, the narrative around them last season was that Flick hasn't managed to get the defence functioning as he wants it to, and then that's the next step in the projects.

14:46He seems to have just entirely abandoned that idea. They made a really bad decision in letting Inigo Martin as veteran centre-back go, who was just a really good, solid, mature presence there. Since losing him, I don't think things have been the same. so I mean there's always talk with Barcelona of buying a striker they've been linked with Kane recently and such but my word I think they need two centre-backs before they really you know are taken seriously I mean people fear them because of the way they play the players that they do have and the attacking talent they've got as well but teams also know that they're very susceptible to giving up chances as well and you will always get three or four good chances against Barcelona I mean we mentioned the high line I mean I thought if they get another Mansov is he going to go full ange is that line going to get even higher.

15:31It was a bit ungy. Yeah, I mean, I quite enjoyed it, as you know. But just quickly, David, you obviously covered a lot of European football. Barcelona right now, again, for the reasons mentioned, obviously you've got, you've been in the Malle in there and so on and so forth. And we saw what they did in last season's Champions League only edged in that classic encounter with Inter. Where are they at the moment in terms of how the clubs, they've just moved back into the Nou Camp. It's not fully opened yet, of course. The Spotify. The Spotify. Spotify. Did they have a live band for the goal music when they moved in?

16:04It sounded like it. I think so. I think they did, yeah, yeah. There was a really good clip, actually, on Spanish TV this past week of an opponent team turning up at the Camp Nou, and they were looking around, they're going, God, it's not very nice, it's horrible. Which I thought was really, really funny. Oh, dear. But, yeah, Barcelona always, like, tries to paint themselves out as, like, you know, the good guys, Mesquite Club, and so on and so forth. But in the last handful of years, I mean, you said, If I may, you said before we came on, if any Premier League side had operated in the way that they have of late, they'd have been the most disliked side in the league.

16:37Absolutely. Their actions have been so poor in terms of, if you look back, I mean, they still give it the big one about being more than a club. When they are so far removed from that vehicle that they once were, the Qatar Airways deal, now like what you said, but mainly the financial levers that have been pulled and the player registrations where they're signing players that they simply can't register because they're not hitting salary caps and such. Yet, they're sitting in the stands. Poor Dani Almo was sitting there in the stands for a bit. I know Marcus Rashford is worried about it. There was the saga with Nico Williams as well.

17:11So what was Rashford worried about? It's just not being registered. Every player coming into Barcelona just kind of rolls the dice, I think, a little bit with that. But it's mainly the financial levers that they have pulled, basically selling off the furniture to pay for certain things and get around it. kind of selling off the future, right? Selling off the future. So many assets they won't be able to make any money out of in the future because they've front-loaded it all now. That's going to bite them, surely. Exactly. Don't get me wrong. A lot of Premier League teams take out loans against future TV money payments and such.

17:38That's very much the norm. But this is on a different level. This is selling media companies, just different conglomerates as part of the club to fund things for the here and now and not really thinking about the long-term future of the club. They didn't sell their women's team to themselves, did they? No, they haven't done that. You can't do that anymore, apparently. That might have been discussed last night in the Posh Box. Or in one of those hotels that Chelsea sold to themselves. Next time you need a little cash injection. You could imagine that, couldn't you? So how did you sell your women's teams yourself?

18:09Well, we put in a very generous offer and we begrudgingly accepted. It's like someone out of symptoms. I mean, yeah, incredible. So a lot of history in that fixture, of course. Chelsea got the better of them. and maybe we'll see them face each other later on in the tournament. I don't know. Barcelona will be absolutely fuming that they don't get a crack at them at the camp now. Yeah. That makes it all the funnier. As I said before though, I think before the season started or whatever, with this Chelsea side, and it was kind of based on what they did at the Club World Cup, is they may well sort of be, you know, in the final few weeks of the season trying to get back into the Champions League places in the Premier League or battle for fourth or fifth or whatever it's going to be.

18:50and they'll probably just end up winning the Champions League and not have to worry about it. I mean, it is such an interesting side. But of course, we remember many, many years ago when they went to the Nou Camp and won on aggregate that semi-final with a Gary Neville goal-gasm. And Alan Parry, who was the commentator during that game, has been talking about that moment that Gary Neville had his goal-gasm, as we call it. So Alan Parry was the commentator. Gary Neville was the co-commentator and Alan Parry was to the comments in this I thought partly he was sort of joking about like oh you know he says he was talking about you know that famous line in the World Cup final between England and Germany they think it's all over it is now and certain comments like even Clive Tilsley name on the trophy and all those kind of famous lines and he thought when Torres goes through and his line was the story has been written it's Torres yeah exactly as I identify with it and he thought this is my moment to get a famous line in that people are going to remember and then he said Gary Neville quite literally spunked all over it that's not a direct quote that's you paraphrasing he said I thought well maybe this was my moment and Gary bloody Neville spoiled my moment of fame and I thought he's having a bit of a joke and then you read the quotes odd and you kind of go half joking maybe was this interview conducted like in a pub because he sounds increasingly angry you can hear him aging in the in the interview getting more and more crotchety it's amazing but actually this was the first Gary Neville Golgasm that was you know really really famous wasn't it and I think a lot of the big moments certainly from the from the Premier League in recent years have one of Jamie Carragher or Gary Neville sort of going, ah, oh, oh, in the background of it somewhere.

20:51And yeah, I would like them to wind it in a bit. Would you? Yeah. I did quite like, um, Martin Tyler. There was a moment, I forget which goal it was, where he just goes, ah, there's this noise. And I did quite enjoy that. I mean, there's a lot to be said for a sort of, um, you know, exactly a natural kind of expression of surprise. And yeah, but it just, it's just very repetitive now, isn't it? Okay. Fair enough. Your team parry. yeah yeah now before we go for a break Benfica and Ajax played last night both of those sides have played Chelsea in the Champions League so far this season and of course it is now Jose Mourinho's Benfica they won 2-0 in Amsterdam David it was a good win for them having had not the best of times of late as Mourinho himself said hence he got the job and when they played Chelsea a number of weeks ago I mean it was it was very pedestrian from both sides really but you know particularly from from Benfica and Mourinho said on the weekend when they played a cup game against Atletico Club de Portugal that feels like a trap for Brasel that it does a bit Atletico Club de Portugal yeah or or Sporting Portugal as I call them Sporting Bilbao exactly who were a third division side they beat them 2-0 in the cup and Mourinho said at half time I made four substitutions but I should have made nine those nine players weren't on the pitch only two should have stayed the system works the players in it aren't working I don't like players who betray me I love that it's kind of like never change it's good but this is third season stuff we've long been saying that like that window gets smaller and smaller doesn't it but it's already yeah but Jim the third season right think about this he was younger and therefore probably more patient yeah sure alright he was more patient back then he's just an impatient older man I just don't I've had this discussion with a few people before and I just don't think he likes the modern footballer yeah no he doesn't He's one of them who's just really against everything what football is now and what it represents as a modern footballer.

22:49I think he finds it very hard to translate his message across like he used to. I get the impression he probably doesn't like the modern world that much. Absolutely. Maybe he should manage in Saudi then. It's surely on the cards, isn't it? Yeah, matter of time. I love that he said, I don't like players who betray me because that reminds me of a story I heard about him where apparently, and this has been consistent throughout his career, he doesn't talk to injured players. Just sort of ignores them. Sort of treats them like I can't use you so it's a waste of breath. You basically don't exist. Heal yourself through the power of your own mind, man.

23:24Be better. Yeah, exactly. But a good win for Benfica though. Yes. I mean, Ajax have been really poor. I don't think Benfica are going to go through this first phase. Yeah, Ajax. But come on, let's get behind him. Yeah, Ajax. You'd love a bit of that, wouldn't you? Arsenal to get Benfica in the next round. God, you imagine the attrition there. It'd be great. Yeah. Easy peasy. One last stand for Moo. You know he'd love that, wouldn't you? It's exactly what he wants. You think you're a shithouse now, do you? I'll show you what it's really about. All right, coming up after this, we get an update from our very own Pete Donaldson, who's been in Marseille.

24:08You just mentioned the low block. when they hardly allow you to enter the box, what's the solution? Kill someone? Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Some fine advice there from Pep Guardiola. Is it a cameraman? You just sort of sacrifice anyone? That was brilliant, wasn't it? Having a word to the old cameraman. Let's talk about Manchester City. They lost 2-0 at home to Bayer Leverkusen. Pep Guardiola made 10 changes following their Premier League loss at Newcastle on Saturday. It's about to say, it didn't work, David. they were very poor this was very very poor and Pep instantly regretted that decision I think and he said as much after the game he said look I've never done it in this second I've changed four or five players and what have you he said he's too nice apparently I had not too sure about that but yeah he said some strange things after the game and it was I know it's classic Pep in a way after a loss he always comes out with a few wild things and he said again I haven't got the players and you're a bit like Yeah because you You didn't start any of them You do You've got loads of them They're really good Yeah I was going to say Yeah I just had your 400 and odd million B team Out against Leverkusen You know And it's Yeah it's It's hard to take from him They underestimated Leverkusen Completely There's no doubt about that Completely underestimated him And I think The bad thing for Pep is I think he looked at this game And said I can put these players in Get their fitness up And they will They'll really want this They want to get in the team But they just wasn't And it must be so disappointing seeing your next crop of players come in and not produce like that when given a chance.

25:43I have a theory on this, which is that, you know, at the end of every transfer window, there's a couple you miss. You're like, oh, such and such. When did he sign for Brighton? Oh, that's weird. I don't think Pep knows that Eric Ten Hag left by a Leverkusen. I think he was just thinking, this will be easy. This will be absolutely straightforward. Don't worry about this. That guy again. Yeah, I'll put out a joke team just to have a little dig. But the seriousness of it is, I think you're absolutely right. They've completely misunderstood or sorry underestimated Misunderestimating Misunderestimating is a confusing that's very Pep actually very 4D chess isn't it?

26:18I've misunderstood I've misunderstood I've misunderstood I've misunderstood which means I've I've actually taken you quite seriously. Yeah, that's not what you did. No. It was I think it was just silly to make that many changes against a team who have you know obviously they've had a crazy start to the season and they are quite a new team given that you know that that famous Leverkusen team of two seasons ago is like very few of those players has even left. That's sort of been picked apart. But they've started to put a run of results together in the Bundesliga and they've been looking pretty good.

26:45Obviously, Alex Gromaldo, the world's most free-scoring wing-back with a double nutmeg, is a player you've got to watch. And so it proved. Patrick Schick is a very reliable goal-scorer for them. So no real surprise that those two were among the goals there. England's Gerald Kwanzaa plays his part. I mean, that says it all. Hugely, hugely underestimated them there. yeah and the pattern of it I mean I second screened this one obviously and then watched the highlights of it afterwards so you don't get the full experience as you do if you watch the game fully but it seemed to me that the pattern was very similar to what you would expect from a regular Man City game where they were kind of knocking on Leverkusen's door a lot but they just repelled them fairly comfortably there wasn't that many chances I mean Harland predictably came on and had a couple of moments I mean Flecken you know smothered him when he went through on goal and then he had one which he whacked over the bar, which wasn't, it was a chance, it wasn't like the easiest of chances, but still it was an opportunity.

27:40But I mean, Baylor Leverkusen themselves, playing with sort of back three, back five, they said that they were shocked when they saw the starting lineup. That gives you a huge boost when you go away to a team like Manchester City, who I understand are not the City of two, three, four seasons ago, but still it's a tough place to go. Fabulous players and Guardiola is still there. So when you get that kind of lift just before kick-off, you look around and you go, bloody hell, lads, we've got a chance here because of what they've done. Oh, absolutely. And look, Leverkusen, since they changed mind since Eric Ten Hag left and they brought in Himland, they've only lost twice.

28:19And that was against PSG and against Bayern. They're a side, a proper side. Yeah, of course. They assembled a really talented crop of talent in the summer, despite the change or despite the transition from the Xabi Alonso era. The bad thing they did was brought Eric Turnhardt again because he didn't speak to any of the players or any of the staff and they realised very early on at Leverkusen that this was a terrible decision so that's why and I mean it was the shortest tenure in Bundesliga history after three games he's gone so when you say he didn't speak to any of them just like a general he's just generally not like that and it's been one of the things that they've said about Hummeln coming in can you expand on who he's not like that was he like here is the starting line up that I'm going to communicate to you in performative dance no but like when you say he's not speaking to them He's clearly not on the day-to-day.

29:04He's not personal. He's very aloof. Yeah, very aloof, not personal. Didn't really build any relationships with any players. And Humlin's come in and been the complete opposite of that and built things in close quarters. And they are third in the Bundesliga and they are doing very well as a result of losing Ten Hag and his kind of gruff nature. I think there's a... I don't want to get caught up in Ten Hag here too much. Sure, sure, sure. Of course. I think he's a good tactician in places, but from a personal character, I think that's going to hold him back in the future, whatever job he takes. But moving back to Leverkusen.

29:36Yes. Yes. But it's interesting what Hulman, the coach, is doing. We saw what he did at Denmark, the national team, made them into a decent side. A bit of experience. I mean, he's managed in Germany before, but you're right, he's improved them a lot, which is why, you know, I don't watch a lot of Bundesliga, but I knew they were improving, which is why, again, like 10 changes. I appreciate Guardiola wants to include everyone. but he even changed the goalkeeper that's exactly what I was about to bring up that smacks to me of one of these massive European overthoughts from Guardiola no we haven't there's a litany later and it's usually just one player but he's got a whole lot of games I'll change everyone and they've only got Leeds on the weekend so it would have been yeah why is Haaland not starting this game?

30:22and then well Haaland was born in Leeds right so this is a big one for him presumably it's true and then the Champions League qualification isn't assured for City no They now have to go away again, I do believe, to Real Madrid. They were against Real Madrid next, yes, exactly. And I mean, that is a tough position to put yourself in. And it hasn't been by chance. Pep has put City in that position that they're in. Yes, this almost feels separate from their kind of league form, doesn't it? Because it has been created by this really, really strange decision. You've got to win your home games in a campaign like this.

30:55But you absolutely do. I mean, and David's right, you're not a shoo-in to qualify for the next round of the Champions League. I mean, you look at where they are. Okay, they're sixth. They've got ten points. PSG are a point behind them and a game in hand. And they're at home to Spurs tonight. Yeah, with Real Madrid next for City, as you say. Yeah, you'd fancy them to win that. Real Madrid and Liverpool, okay, maybe not the most reliable Liverpool, but Real Madrid sit ninth. They're one point behind Manchester City. They're on four games. And tonight they go to Olympiacos. You'd fancy them to win that.

31:25You wouldn't want to go into that. Well, they are in the situation now where they're in there. But if you put this game to bed, you don't have to worry so much against Real Madrid. I don't see any outcome where City don't make the knockout stages of the Champions League. But I mean... Maybe for a playoff. But you don't want a playoff. This is it. You're kind of toying with the playoffs there, which is two extra games you just don't need. In their final two games, I admit, they've got Bodo Glimt and Gela Tassaray. So you would fancy that. but to me Bayer Leverkusen is a good side I think it's odd and the fact that he made what was it three changes at half time shows you that bringing on Foden, O 'Reilly and Docku it shows you that he thought yeah I've got this wrong and then obviously Cherki and Haaland come on a little bit later but as you say they've got to pull their socks up for Leeds United but before the Newcastle game so that's two defeats you know back to back defeats now Guardiola said the season starts today with regard to the Newcastle game on the weekend he said the summer transfer window and the three international breaks are behind us and we spoke about this on Monday David about the kind of you know is it a reset is it international breaks and so on I my prediction of them not winning the league I'm sitting very happy on that right now because I know they've shown a bit but oh are they back there's you look at the inconsistencies and I don't think we're going to see them click in a way that some are suggesting to get back to the old days.

32:55And perhaps actually this line-up is a sign of Guardiola fearing that and being like, all right, well, I need to see what everyone else has got. How can I change this? This is an opportunity for 10 players at once to show me what they can bring to the first team. And it just hasn't worked for whatever reasons, possibly because it's too much change at once. But it is a suggestion that he's racking his brains. But I appreciate also you maybe don't want to be reliant on two or three players. because, you know, Harlan got an injury and so on and so forth. But I still, yeah, I think it's a strange one.

33:28Let's move on to Marseille 2, Newcastle United 1. Our very own Pete Donaldson was at the Stade Velodrome last night in southern France and Petey left us a little voice note. Hello, Pete here. I've lost my voice because I shouted at the football team too much. And yeah, I'm fresh from enjoying the hospitality of the gigantic, sexy, but rather twitchy Marseille police. I know they had riots a couple of years ago, but they really don't need to dress like the Legion of Doom or the police of Mega City One. But yeah, it got a little bit ugly at the end. There was some baton swang, but it's not as if the football match was any better than that because Newcastle were pretty poor.

34:15Marseille were really intense. They were really good, as you saw on the telly. Orbs should have levelled early on with a header And he was probably good for a hat-trick to be honest But Newcastle United, they had enough in reserve To probably take the game to Marseille a little bit But they didn't manage it, they were really, really sloppy They were just passes going all over the place They brought on a langer and they didn't put the ball in space They were trying to put it into his feet, which is not really his game They put on Nicky Voltemada, they didn't put balls in the air And they've already got themselves to blame but that's Newcastle United 2025 to 2026.

34:51They're probably going to qualify at the group, so that's all still good. So, yeah, look, all good. I am in Europe on a Tuesday night, and I'm off to a Carrefour to buy a Maxibon and some fucking crisps. Paprika, thank you. It's France. Good night. A bientôt. He sounded like he was in a cell, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. After he'd smoked a pack of 10 lead pipes. just absolutely insane how much was he shouting and he started out what happened was like all good English people do at a certain age when they go to France he's bought a load of those massive bangers which are like you know what was it acne TNT in the cartoons you know like those sticks of dynamite he's bought a load of them, he's set them off the police are not having it, he's paying the price for it.

35:47Nice to hear that he's going to have a maximum though. Yes. Something that we can all get behind. But Newcastle United despite the batons and Pete's support they weren't great. And your man Jim Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang 36 years old still got it. Yeah. Unbelievable finish for his first goal. A lot of people have blamed Nick Pope and obviously that doesn't happen without Nick Pope making this decision he made. But to finish it from there is still exceptional right? He's still got a lot to do. He was brilliant. He inspired them. But what the hell was Nick Pope doing? Is that the most un-Nick Pope thing you've ever seen?

36:21No, because he's done it before. What, rushing out? No, not rushing out. He's made these errors before. I think it's three away games in a row now. He's made these big high-profile errors. That specific error of rushing out like that. You never see him off his line much, do you? It's a funny one, that. It's really funny. It smacks of kind of the occasion making him make a strange choice. Well, maybe. I mean, it's quite a fierce place to go. It looked like when Aubameyang goes past him that Pope was just shouting, ah, to try and put him off. If you watch it back again, I don't know whether he's just going, shit, or what, you know, but it did look like he was trying to, you know, a bit of gamesmanship there.

37:00But Newcastle got themselves in a good position. One nil up, Harvey Barnes again among the goals. They were looking okay. And as I think it was Dan Burns said, it was what, 10 minutes or so of madness and it's cost them the match. They were very, very good to start off with. It was 10, 15 minutes, but I think they dropped off. They got very negative after that. Howe stuck to his back five. They dropped in very, very deep. And I think Marseille really felt that. And everything went through. So they sprung a surprise last night by starting young Bacola from the academy. He's only 17. So he was really impressive.

37:36And Greenwood as well was really going at them. They were triple teaming him at some points. because they just really want... One of the keys to this, how it went man to man. So Dan Byrne was always coming out to wherever Greenwood was going. So Greenwood decided to drop off into centre midfield in very, very deep at times and it was pulling Byrne out and leaving Thierry one-on-one a lot of the time with Aubameyang as well. So it caused a lot of issues for them. Yeah, when you say it like that, I thought, yes, it did seem surprising that he went for that because if Greenwood's going to do that, sometimes you've got to keep your shape.

38:10but I mean it's funny with Greenwood for obvious reasons and we kind of forgotten about him here but I mean he's a quality footballer you know he's an unbelievable footballer I don't think that's ever been up for debate and he's probably one of Marseille's best players absolutely but I think it was Alba's night absolutely he was inspirational he was really really good for 36 to still be doing that at this level really really impressive I think it's his best scoring start in eight seasons something like that And the second finish was brilliant as well. Because essentially, he is marked. You know, the defender's on him.

38:47He's just done really, really well at getting there in time and giving them no chance. Newcastle have done nothing wrong in that goal. Still got that pace, that level of acceleration is brilliant there. And obviously now with him being 36, he's just older and wiser. He's got a better all-round game bottom. He's always been a really clinical finisher. Although being one of those players where surprisingly sometimes they sky something that you think they'll put away really easily. But he's always had a lot of finesse about his shooting and that has not deserted him at all. Yeah, although he did miss a good chance in the first half.

39:19I think he was just disappointed in himself, which probably made him sharper and more focused in the second half when he got his goals. We heard from Pete there talking about police and the atmosphere. Newcastle fans were designated a special fan zone before the game, by the way. So, somewhat of a welcome. it was manned by armed police though but then that's just the police in France for you well yeah absolutely apparently one Newcastle fan said it was friendlier than big market so fair enough yeah so Newcastle I mean we speak about Man City with work to do Newcastle I mean they're eighth nine points in the Champions League this season they've got three fixtures left they've got Bayer Leverkusen away next my message to them don't underestimate them Derek Tenhoff's long gone and then they've probably start Ultimada as well yeah and then they've got PSV at home and then PSG away they're really tricky so they're up against it in terms of automatic qualification of course but you never know with this Newcastle in European competition you can see them getting six points from those games six points yeah okay I think they'd bite your hand off for that not too shabby at all now elsewhere in the Champions League last night Juventus beat Buda Glimp 3-2 with a stoppage time winner did you see a Norwegian reporter was skiing on the pitch a few hours before kick-off.

40:38It's such an amazing stadium, that. It really looks like it's in some sort of magical realm. I just love watching games there. It's really a real shame that Juventus managed to get the win at the end. Do you feel, though, if someone is skiing hours before kick-off on the pitch, it's grounds to cool the game off? Well, they cleared the snow, and it's an all-weather pitch, so they simply couldn't be a club if they had that rule up there. Okay, do you think that's them sort of flaunting what they've got? Ah, get out of there. One of those ones where Juventus do that thing on a Sunday morning. They've had a heavy night out, they wake up and they go, come on, hopefully the game's going to be cancelled, doesn't it?

41:20But it wasn't and they won it. Yeah, the third goal is from Kellen Yielders doing some incredible work and he is a hell of a player. Like, already a fantastic player, but going to be a superstar for a long time, I think. Yeah. All right, coming up after this, a superstar now. Ronaldo will be available for the World Cup. Of course he is.

41:49Welcome back everybody. Now let's depart ways with the Champions League for just a moment to tell you that Cristiano Ronaldo will be free to play at the World Cup. Of course he will. What were you worried about. He was given a customary three-match ban for violent conduct against Ireland but FIFA's disciplinary committee on Tuesday have reduced that to a one game ban which was served in the game against Armenia, the last game of qualification for Portugal, with the other two matches suspended under a year's probation. Which is a completely normal thing that we see all the time, isn't it? I mean, this, in theory, should open the door to everybody in a similar situation requesting the same.

42:39Maybe there isn't anyone in this situation. I think Otamendi and another player are. I definitely know what Otamendi is and there's another one as well. They're in the same situation. If they don't get their sentences suspended in the same manner. I mean, it's so weird because when we were talked about this, I remember when Wayne Rooney was sent off against Montenegro ahead of Euro 2012. And it was violent conduct. It was a straight red, mad thing that Rooney did. And therefore should have been out for the three group games. And England managed to get that reduced to two games. Yes. So the system works.

43:12So the system is bulletproof. No, I thought it was important to say that. Yeah, I think you're right. Because, you know, England benefited from that. I'd forgotten that. Indeed. so but that seems so whatever you may think of that if that's if you think why on earth should that be reduced by a game I kind of agree with I think was it you Jim or somebody said why would a red card in qualification carry on to the tournament I think when the tournament comes around everything should be white personally even reds indeed I agree I think it's pretty mad it's just that they've taken a nonsensically kind of bureaucratic way around it exactly had they reduced the three games to one game and just gone you know we've reduced it or reduced it to two who he's already served one, he might admit it's the first game, you kind of go, there's a bit of jiggery-pokery there, but I kind of understand it.

43:56But to have a one-game ban, and then the two further matches suspended under a year's probation, what the bloody hell's going on? Yeah. We know what's going on. Well, okay. We saw where he was last week and who he was with. Possibly the most pointless question that ever asked. But what's interesting about this is based on recent events, it looks like he's arranged this with Donald Trump. Just astonishing. Is this what Gianni Infantino does now? Ask Donald, I don't know, I'm not in charge anymore. But Infantin, as we know, has gone to the White House more than any, well, I was about to say more than any other world leader.

44:30He is in a way. He behaves like that, and he behaves like he thinks that. Yeah. Like FIFA is a country. We've always said this, that FIFA are like this floating government that kind of exists, you know, not in the shadows, not quite like that, but they turn up every four years and just feast like some parasite on some country, and then they move on to the... Maybe they were the worm in RFK's brain. Who knows? Maybe they were. But as we know, Cristiano Ronaldo was at the White House recently and met Donald Trump. Donald Trump shared an AI video of him and Ronaldo playing football in the Oval Office.

45:05And I have to say, in that video, Donald Trump does have a good touch for a big man. He doesn't look bad. Ronnie's still got it as well. Yes. I mean, genuinely does still. He didn't need to have an AI video. what's bordering on the second most pointless question I've ever asked what's going on what just generally the question becomes more and more relevant every day you can shout that into the void all day long and it doesn't get any less reasonable he could be alluding to literally anything what is going on are we still even talking about football do you know what though if Trump wanted to gain an ounce of respect from us the footballing community he'd get messy in the White House and do an AI video of them both doing better stuff than what they were doing Just set them up against each other Yeah exactly I'm just watching Yeah bloody Nora Anyway but I think we should get back to the Champions League as quickly as possible Arsenal face Harry Kane's Bayern Munich tonight at 8pm Bayern Munich and Arsenal much like Barcelona with their Chelsea rivalry there's a bit of history between these two Yeah very much so Indeed Jim And with Harry Kane Yeah well are you looking forward to this one?

46:14I am looking forward to it. I think it's a real good test of where Arsenal are, all over the pitch, really. They met a couple of seasons ago in the quarterfinals, I think it was, and Arsenal went 1-0 up, and then they had two lapses in concentration, Bayern scored twice, Trossard then equalised afterwards, and it was a game where it really, I think, showed the steps Arsenal still had to make. There was still a little bit of naivety, there was still a little bit of kind of, the quality was lacking at that very, very top level and that's what Bayern are. I think they're the best team in Europe right now.

46:48They're a really sort of huge litmus test. Arsenal are yet to concede in the Champions League this season. Obviously, Gabriel has been a big part of that. He's not there. Hinkapie has been an able deputy so far but he's only played a couple of games. He'll be familiar with Bayern but I can tell you that that doesn't help you. That means absolutely nothing. I think Harry Kane's got 24 goals this season. Loves it, doesn't he? A lot of strikers would be happy with that in a season and it's the end of November and he's got that already. It's absolutely incredible. I mean, he's practically guaranteed to score.

47:16So you have to sort of mitigate against that. So yeah, I'm really, really intrigued to see how it plays out. There's talk that Martin Odegaard will be available probably on the bench. So that's part of the cavalry is going to come back as well. What does he do with that Arteta when Odegaard is fit? Because he's been such a crucial player for Arsenal. Well, I think the play is... It's not, sorry to jump ahead of your question, but I think it's not just Eze that's given him a headache with that because Leandro Trossard is in such good form. I think he's undroppable at the moment. So the solution, if you want Eze and Odegaard in the team, is you play Eze off the left, which has been...

47:52And you pronounce his name differently every time you say it. That has been one of the kind of mooted solutions to get them both in the team. We've seen that already earlier in the season. But again, Trossard's form is so good that maybe possibly Odegaard will have to be a little bit patient. And also, you know, he's been out for a while. You don't want to chuck him straight into every game. and there's no need to no there's absolutely no need to but this all bodes well but how many times did you say Arsenal with a slightly thinner squad than what they should have you've got these options this is what happens and that's a part of it isn't it if you want to be the side who go on to win the Premier League and you know maybe go even further which would be the final lest we forget Arsenal got the semis these are the decisions I mean Bayern, Arsenal and Inter are the only sides with perfect records left in the Champions League Inter obviously away to Atletico Madrid tonight but it is I think that you look at these two sides David Bayern and Arsenal they're both running away with their domestic leagues aren't they Jim?

48:43No but they've both been very impressive in their domestic leagues particularly Bayern scoring goals for fun and so on how do you see this one? Yeah I mean Jim's just said they're Bayern's best team in Europe but Arsenal's got a good shot at that as well so Bayern fans will be treating this game you know kind of like with a bit of apprehension I think and just knowing how good Arsenal are and look with all respect to the Bundesliga this will be the best team that Bayern have faced this season by far so yeah it's a tough one to call but this is a this is a really good game considering the stage where it's at in the group stage you know this is something we'll probably be looking forward to in a semi-final or so quite possibly it's also a nice time for it as well because it's not certainly from where I'm sat it's not a disaster for either team if they don't get the result they want right there's enough road left and obviously they've got enough points already so this could be a a much worse time to face Bayern yeah oh yeah I mean I think I think it'd be crazy if they don't qualify automatically for the next round these two sides yeah I mean Arsenal you know they've got Club Brugge left in the Champions League then they've got Kyrat as well Inter away but Inter away is another one but again I think again with those they'll be Club Brugge surely and Kyrat you would imagine Kyrat's at home as well Kyrat's at home yes exactly very welcome that's a crucial piece of information you might be able to make 10 chances for that one you could do do all 11 damn it all and let someone else manage the side but no disrespect to Karat genuinely but yeah I think Bayern at home and then Inter away as I say they're the only sides left at Inter not until January of course two of those games aren't I think it's a fascinating one but one of the other sides David who will be fancied for Champions League of course the holders PSG they have Tottenham a hotter spur a repeat of the Super Cup final of course which PSG won on penalties PSG they don't have a perfect record but they won three they lost one two Bayern of course what do you make of PSG I mean obviously still strong are they as scintillating or is the Club World Cup hangover still there no I still think they're as impressive they have an ability to pick 30-40 minutes out of a game and absolutely blitz you put two or three past you then the game's done before in a blink of an eye so they've still got that capability and they always will be with that attacking line that they have it's going to be really really interesting to see how Spurs deal with this one after the weekend after a lot of the discourse on Frank feels like it's turned a corner as well he said yesterday look I'm one he said I'm 1000 % sure I can make a team of this of this Spurs and I can be a success here um whether this is the game where they show they've they're going to turn a corner or so I'm not too sure um this is something that might come in the future but this is a really difficult game for them to go into after the weekend, I do believe.

51:38Yeah, no, I agree with you. I mean, it's going to be very interesting to see how they set up, right? Because on paper, they went ultra-defensive on Sunday, and obviously that did not work. They didn't execute that plan properly. On grass, they went ultra-defensive. Well, indeed. On grass, they were just sort of all over the shop, weren't they? So they can't really... I suppose they can try that again against PSG, but they have to do a much better, much different job of it. Well, can't they do similar to what they did in that Super Cup final? I mean, I know PSG is easier said than done. And I suppose injuries and so on and so forth.

52:07But they have to show more than what they did against Arsenal. It's a balancing act, I was going to say. I don't think you can go as defensive as you were against Arsenal. But at the same time, you can't go to going well because PSG will obliterate you. There's no shame in them losing this game. Of course there is a danger that they get absolutely panelled and that will kind of add to the narrative, won't it? Is it fair to say Joao Polini might be quite busy in the centre of the field? The axe man cometh. Who you're Everyone, no one, I don't know. He's going to have to, I mean, those big slide tackles of his, he's going to have to take out two players at once.

52:40He's going to need another couple of legs. Yeah, yeah. But if there's one man who can do it, I back old Joel. Elsewhere in the Champions League, Liverpool host PSV tonight. You would think that was a straightforward run, Jim, but PSV are going to be well aware of what's going on at Liverpool at the moment. Absolutely. This is the problem with these run of results. They go there, and they're still aware of Liverpool and Anfield and all that kind of stuff. There's still a bit of respect, but the fear factor is not dialled up as it might be. Well, I mean, we say that, don't we? But how many times have we seen Liverpool kind of struggle domestically?

53:16And then when it comes to Anfield, in particular on a European night, it's like none of those struggles are happening at all. So the Real Madrid game, fine. And when Real Madrid come to town, yeah, Liverpool played well and fair enough, they got the win. But when it's Real Madrid, David, it's kind of, that gives you everybody a lift. When it's a side like PSV, you've still got to be at the races. As Man City found out against Bayer Leverkusen. So I think there'll be a lot of people watching this game wondering, okay, are we going to see a bit of an upset here? Every Liverpool game now is a case study of just how to deal with adversity.

53:51And I think they're having a lot of trouble dealing with it. And I think that's partly one of the biggest problems that they have is their inability to stave off this slump, this blip, whatever you want to call it. but no, I think they should win, despite all that, I still think they should win convincingly tonight. I can see, you know, Salah getting back amongst the goals, a few smiles, and I think for a brief period, at least until the weekend when they go back to the Premier League, you know, the gloom is lifted. Yeah, I mean, obviously, they've been really good in the Champions League. They had that result against Galatasaray, which was, I think, a bit of a blip if you take the campaign in isolation.

54:25Two good wins against the Madrid side that scored a lot of goals against Eintracht Frankfurt, which, you know, Eintracht Frankfurt's approach to defending seems to be that they just don't really want to do it. So you kind of maybe ignore that a little bit. But yeah, I kind of expect, this is the thing with Liverpool, isn't it? I suppose every time you see them play, you think, oh, surely they're sort of going to course correct now. But, well, we know. Yeah. PSV have done okay in the Champions League. When they started badly against Union San Gioir, drew against Leverkusen. They knocked six past Scott McTominay's Napoli.

54:57Yeah. That was wild, yeah. I mean, that was crazy. I mean, Napoli had a man sent off but they did have Scott McTominay which is like having two men exactly and they are top doing very very well in the Eredivisie they also have a player who's wonderfully named Dennis Mann so I I will be watching this game I think just in a just to see if he is the man yeah well indeed it's sort of as Luke said it's sort of a rubbernecking type way yeah to see what's going to happen but but look there's still a bit of hope there because they've got a very, very good squad. But Arna Slott did admit that he feels guilty about Liverpool's poor form.

55:35I mean, he's the manager after all, I suppose. Michael Owen, though, he believes that Liverpool are still in the title race. Hope springs eternal, Jim. Speaking with the logic of a man who thinks if you throw a dart at someone and it hits them, it's their fault. Yeah. What do you think of this? Paul Scholes believes that Liverpool's poor form started from when Arna Slott was seen DJing in Ibiza. I think he's just morphing into Mark Lawrenson he just seems to get grumpier and grumpier every time you hear from him you sense from Paul Scholes even when you are reading what he said that he's slumped in a chair he's sighing as he says it he doesn't want to be talking to the person who's asking him the questions just so grumpy and I kind of love it I really like him on his podcast with Nicky Butt and Paddy McGinner which presumably he doesn't want to do he doesn't sound like he wants to be there but there's a few nice little stories in there but I quite enjoy it To be fair though to Paul Sculls in his suggestion I mean Arna Slott I don't know whether he was seen with Wayne Lineker or not but if you get in that man's orbit which you know you do if you go to Ibiza then I thought he was just on a sun lounge with like his wife and his daughter No no he was DJing Oh was it?

56:46Oh right sorry I missed this Wasn't he just in the DJ booth I'm not sure I'm not sure that makes him David Guetta ask Arthur to play for something just one of those annoying people like can you play this? Quite possibly well there we are play Phil Collins now you're talking thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network friends of the Ramble don't go anywhere keep listening for Ramble Uncut and if you're not a friend of the Ramble head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now thank you very much Jim Campbell thank you thank you David Cartlidge thank you and thank you DJ Sloth

57:27The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.