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Football Ramble

16 Sep 2026 · 53m · 21 chapters

In short

Football Weekly-style discussion of Carabao Cup matches, mainly Liverpool 3-1 Spurs, plus Arsenal’s League Cup win (Ipswich 2-4 Arsenal) and broader early-season form. They also debate Spurs’ lack of “click” under Roberto De Zerbi, Liverpool’s squad rotation, and refereeing/VAR controversies (Pro Ref/PGMOL) around a penalty incident.

Guests (hosts/participants)

Max and Barry (regular co-hosts). Additional recurring voices include Jim and Luke (co-commentators). Later, Danny Murphy appears (“Football Rebel”) with Jim and others, plus mention of Pete Donaldson joining a preview show.

Key claims

Liverpool’s youngsters/rotation still produced a strong performance; Spurs created chances but lacked confidence and cutting edge, struggling to play out from the back. De Zerbi’s tactical specificity may be taking too long. Arsenal are developing Max Dowman (16) in the No.10 role; Mikel Arteta wants to “not stop him.” Jokers/Jørgen Strand Larsen (discussed as Arsenal’s striker) looks ineffective and may be nearing the end of his Arsenal role.

Notable examples

Mamadou Philipe’s goalkeeping/defensive moments for Spurs; Bergvot/Kudus miss debate; Subozlai’s goal/technique; Conor Gallagher tap-in header; Spurs’ Richarlison contract saga and De Zerbi excluding him from the League Cup; Max Dowman scoring two (both feet) vs Ipswich; Arsenal’s complaint about an Esri Konza penalty decision; Fulham beating West Ham 3-2 and Palhacios scoring/assisting; Brentford beating Reading 2-1; Peterborough beating Barnsley on pens after a six-goal thriller.

Written by AI. May contain mistakes.

Chapters

0:19

Listener Interaction and Humor

Hosts share anecdotes and humor related to listener-submitted intro lines.

“The GLP One pill you've been waiting for is now on row.”
3:48

Listener Interaction and Humor

Hosts share anecdotes and humor related to listener-submitted intro lines.

“Thanks to friend of the Ramble, Alistair Thwaite, for giving us that intro line.”
6:41

Analysis of Carabao Cup Match

Discussion of Liverpool's performance against Spurs in the Carabao Cup.

“And half the players in there, people who don't follow Liverpool that closely, not half, but a few of them, you wouldn't even know who they were.”
14:00

Analyzing Deserby's Tactical Approach

Explore Deserby's tactical style and its impact on team performance.

“You're just doing your shop and he's all over you.”
15:10

Expectations for the Season

Discussing what constitutes a successful season for the team.

“kind of steps up again because a lot of the players would have been away and before you know it you're in mid-November and you're in real trouble.”
17:00

Comparing Liverpool and Spurs

Contrasting the current states of Liverpool and Spurs in the league.

“But indeed, but he's taking over a whole thing that is not just of the back end of last year.”
19:45

Dominic Szoboszlai's Impact

Examining Szoboszlai's performance and technique in recent matches.

“Liverpool are a bigger club and he's following the guy who followed one of their best ever managers.”
23:34

Emerging Talents: Max Daumann

Discussing the promising performance of young player Max Daumann.

“And now the Premier League is back, Barry, meaning we'll be providing incredibly astute analysis three times a week wherever you get your podcasts.”
28:00

Guardiola's Management and Player Development

Discussion on Guardiola's impact on player performance, focusing on Foden and Dallman.

“I think he should get a little, I would be interested in a little low move to Pompey, toughen him up.”
29:01

Jokeres' Underperformance and Future

Analyzing Jokeres' recent performances and potential decisions regarding his future at Arsenal.

“It was a very, very frustrating performance from Jokeres.”
Show all 21 chapters
31:03

Technical Skills and Game Adaptability

Discussion on technical skills, adaptability, and the challenges faced by players like Jokras.

“We saw it a few times last night in terms of the build-up play.”
31:50

Performance of Maduweke and Team Dynamics

Examining Maduweke's role in the team and his performance relative to his potential.

“I also feel like whenever I watch him I always want him to sort his feet out quicker.”
34:19

Referee Decisions and VAR Controversies

Discussion on recent VAR controversies, referee decisions, and the implications for teams.

“and getting into the box and taking players on.”
36:45

West Ham Tribute and Carabao Cup Highlights

Reflecting on West Ham's tribute to a former player and reviewing Carabao Cup matches.

“And you know the old saying that you don't, unless you can explain something to a five-year-old, you don't fully understand it yourself.”
42:00

Carabao Cup Updates and Player Highlights

Discussion on recent Carabao Cup matches and standout players.

“when I was a kid yeah yeah yeah absolutely no a good goalkeeper indeed and elsewhere in the Carabao Cup Brentford have beat Reading 2-1 in a tight match at the select car leasing stadium.”
45:00

JJ Gabriel's Future at Manchester United

Exploration of the young talent JJ Gabriel's situation and challenges at Manchester United.

“Now, some of you may or may not know JJ Gabriel, teenage sensation.”
46:50

Sunderland's European Comeback

Discussion about Sunderland's return to European competition and player dynamics.

“There's plenty of time ahead of him, plenty of track, plenty of road left to run.”
50:52

Falconers and Football

Light-hearted discussion linking falconry to football, including recent anecdotes.

“Sunderland's first appearance in a major European competition since the 1973-74 season.”
56:00

Falconry and Cocaine Trafficking

Learn about the bizarre intersection of falconry and drug trafficking in football.

“I thought there was a little bit more to it.”
57:55

Controversies in Football

Explore the recent controversies involving Lazio and associated figures.

“Juan Bernabe, though, he was, you know, inadvertently he's been leading the bird.”
58:51

Wrap-up and Thank You

The hosts conclude the episode and engage in light banter.

“Marcus, it's not fascism, Jim, just to say.”
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Transcript

Automatic transcript. May contain errors.

0:00Hi Pod fans, Max here. Barry's here too. Hello. And now the Premier League is back, Barry, meaning we'll be providing incredibly astute analysis three times a week wherever you get your podcasts. Barry, with the remaining 10 seconds of this advert, can you provide some astute analysis? I think Arsenal are going to win the Premier League. And there you are. For more hot takes like that, watch or listen to Football Weekly wherever you get your podcasts. The GLP One pill you've been waiting for is now on row. Yep, it's finally here. With the same clinically proven ingredient. Now in a pill. And now on row.

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1:10Enjoy customizable features for elevated comfort and convenience. It's more than a fixture. It's a cleaner routine and a more refined space. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com. Hello, hello. This is Brooke DeVard, host of the Naked Beauty Podcast. I want to talk to you about Lexus. At Lexus, master craftsmen called Takumi are involved not just in physical craftsmanship, but in all of those sensory details. These masters evaluate things like how a door closes, the click of a switch, the acoustic feedback of controls. Instead of just instruments, Takumi craftsmen rely on human perception and intuition to create what sounds and feels right.

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3:47Luke Moore: have you with us on this wonderful Wednesday. Thanks to friend of the Ramble, Alistair Thwaite, for giving us that intro line. What are you laughing at? It just reminds me of Richard Thwaite in Guesthouse Paradiso. It's pronounced Thwaite when he's called Richard Twat, isn't he? Pronounced Thwaite. Oh, poor old Alistair. Rick Mayall mentioned early on. I'm behind it. I'm behind it. What was his book called again? What was the tagline for his book? The book was called Bigger Than Hitler, Better Than Christ. and you learn nothing about the man. Yeah, I agree. I've got it at home as well. The whole thing is just lies.

4:20Luke Moore: It's fantastic. The picture on the cover is him pulling a stupid face as Jesus. Yeah, there you are, you see. It's disrespectful in a way. In a stained glass window. In a stained glass window, yeah. So well done, Alistair Thwaite, for getting your... Alistair twat. He had to wait a while. He was in the Thwaiting room for a while. If you want to submit an intro line for a future episode to become a friend of the Ramble, just like Alistair, on our Patreon, you'll also get an extended edition of The Ramble Today. And you'll be abused. You'll simply be abused. We'll be criticised on a public platform.

4:49Pay£5 a month,$5 a month, to get abused by us.

4:52Luke Moore: Yeah. That extended edition of The Ramble Today and every single Wednesday, of course, is affectionately called Ramble Uncut. Maybe we'll change it to Ramble Unleashed soon. I don't know. Click the link in the show notes to sign up now. You'd be down bloody foolish not to. In our last call-out for intro lines on Patreon, friend of The Ramble, Mike Peary, commented, I'm not falling for this again. Last time you asked for these, I left a wrestling one to Pop Pete, who A, missed it when Marcus read it out on the show because B, the boys were all too busy laughing at how close my surname is to Piss or Pissy.

5:27Luke Moore: Which, let's be honest, it's not. No, not really. So it's not just you, Alistair. No. For context, his intro line was, say his name and he appears. Yeah. Right. There we are. Pete doesn't know where he is, does he? Hence, proven on Sunday when he was sent off as a goalkeeper for his Sunday side. That's true. He was on the pitch for a bit. We were reliably informed. Yeah. Right, everybody. Let's talk about that sweet old Carabao Cup action. Liverpool 3. Sweet Carabao. Da, da, da. Liverpool 3, Spurs 1. Yeah. Lots of changes to the Liverpool team that were victorious last night. 10, in fact, from the side that drew with Fulham on Saturday.

6:08Luke Moore: It was a bit of a gamble from Iria. I mean, they managed to keep a clean sheet against free-scoring Fulham. Went up against much, though, were they? But against Spurs. Last night. So he's having a little crack at it. Yeah, there were some youngsters in there. Let's play Jason Koumas' son. Yeah, Lewis. That's what Andonian reality is. He's got about 20 international caps already. Yeah, I know. He's a talent. He was excellent last night. He's a good player, and he looks exactly like his dad, which I personally enjoy. It was enjoyable. Jamie Redup said this is the best he's seen Liverpool play this season.

6:37Luke Moore: And on reflection of the match, I thought to myself, If you play that game again a few times, Spurs might want it. Dammit in fake praise, though. He's made ten changes. And half the players in there, people who don't follow Liverpool that closely, not half, but a few of them, you wouldn't even know who they were. I didn't think Liverpool was that great. There were moments, don't get me wrong, but Spurs had a lot of chances. Mamadash-Villian goal was busy. I mean, that one where it was a deflected effort, of course. It was a stunningly good save. I think the Bergvot one's really interesting to me, because a lot of people are talking about that as a bad miss.

7:07Luke Moore: I think that's a good save. It was about both things can be true. That is true. Marcus was absolutely determined to tell us it was a bad miss. Well, it was. Well, Jim, it sounds like you two disagree. Yeah, I think it was a good save. Sometimes a good save happens. I think it was a good save as well. There you go. I think Jim's correct. I think Jim's correct as well as me. That's the best we're ever going to get. I started off criticizing the Kudos miss, which, on reflection, wasn't as bad. Yes. It came at him quick. I think it was on his good foot. So what is Luke's referring to on our... Do you know what?

7:41Luke Moore: I'm going to read out your WhatsApp message, if I may, with your permission. Yeah, go for it. As if you want my permission. Bloody hell. Standards are slipping around here. That's how you are. Did they take a sliver of Kudus's brain to repair his quad? That miss was horrendous. Yeah, see, I was... And I replied, Berg's vowel, Bergvowels was worse. I'm laughing at my own joke. That's all that was said. Yeah. That's all that was said. I was watching the Arsenal game live, so I saw that. I thought, I'll look forward to getting stuck into that miss. When I saw it, I was like, surely there's a worse one coming.

8:12Luke Moore: No, yeah, you're right. I have just said that. On reflection, it wasn't as bad. But I think what we're seeing, I was probably influenced by the fact that after the game, a lot of Spurs fans were just looking for someone to blame, baby. Because they're pissed off. And I'm going to Spurs on Saturday, so that'll be interesting to see how they go against... Pitchforks at the ready. They're playing Villa at home. so it'll be an interesting game. 0-0. Well, yeah. By interesting game, I mean it'll be 0-0. But the longer it goes on Saturday without a goal, the more Spurs fans will get annoyed. And I feel like everything you guys have said is true there.

8:47Spurs did get chances. I mean, obviously, talking about Mamadou Philly playing well, he's at fault for the goal, probably. He gets caught under it. It's quite... I mean, I always feel like when the ball comes over inside the six-yard box, especially now...

9:00Luke Moore: Oh, Conor Gallo couldn't believe his luck. Exactly. He's got a claimant. Which is why I'm so framed from saying he had a good game because he in parts did but that was a bit of a poor one he made some great saves no doubt about that he was surrounded by his own defenders as well which is a surely a bit of a failure of process yeah perhaps maybe it's just a different process that you don't understand it could be it could be but but if conor gallagher is scoring a sort of tap-in header i think it's not that good true enough nice to see spurs scored i know they have scored goals in the carabal cup this season um but it's of course been uh rather lacking in the league but they look like a team who's completely bereft of confidence.

9:33And which is... I thought there were positives to take from Spurs. But there are positives to take. I'm not saying there aren't positives to take. But they look a little bit at sea and they have no confidence taking chances. Yeah, there's a lack of cutting edge.

9:49Luke Moore: I think making them is the important thing because if you're not making chances, then you're really in trouble. Whereas they are making chances. And like I say, on another night, they could have won that game. You know, that's where it was. I mean as Roberto De Serbi said after the game Spurs need a click yeah they need a click like West Side Story exactly if I was to start or is he going the Thanos route I click my fingers and half of you are out of here he's already done that in the summer one of them is still hanging around stop doing it until Richarlison goes everyone else is gone why is Richarlison still here give the hint Richarlison is replying to Spurs tweets now isn't he it's incredible stuff It's a Romano tweet with sad face emojis and stuff.

10:32Luke Moore: It's quite a sad situation. Is it a sad situation or is it a really easily avoidable ridiculous situation? Look at the emoji, Jim. Fair enough. That's a sad face emoji, Jim. It has spoken. So last week he was trying to get his contract cancelled, so he wouldn't have to play for Spurs. Now De Zerbe doesn't want to play him, and he's kicking off about it. No, but De Zerbe has not, he's out the squad. Yeah, De Zerbe's told him there's no chance he's... Yeah, the end result's the same, isn't it? He's not playing for Spurs. That's what he wants. Yeah, exactly. Still getting paid, presumably. Exactly.

10:59The sad face emoji was in response, I think, to a Dezerbi quote saying that he's not going to play in the League Cup, no way, kind of thing. Well, no one is now. But that's Spurs. But they... So he's actually actively replying to that. I was going to say to you, did you like that Marmouche Maisie?

11:16Luke Moore: Yes, I did. It was a lovely Maisie run, that. Really nice. And he laid it off to someone who obviously just fucked it up. Yeah, well, I also thought there was a nice moment after Savio missed that chance to equalize. And when he went, his momentum sort of took him to the advertising boards. And a couple of Spurs fans, they went over to him and kind of give him a little slap. Because he's new, they don't hate him yet. Yeah, but I think I will be interested in your findings, Luke, as you go off on this, you know, undercover investigation on how the Spurs fan. Yeah, well, but you might wear a disguise.

11:48Luke Moore: I will. So they're expecting Luke. They're not expecting Little Luke, are they? I'm going to wear an Ed Gein type skin mask. If you like. And have Little Luke on my shoulders. So that won't draw attention to me. Yeah, I was going to say either or you'll be inconspicuous. But I just, I actually, I think there are enough Spurs fans here who are thinking, okay, you know, as the Zerbi sort of says, it's not clicked yet. But they're thinking, you know, there are positives. Because this is a big old rut they're in. And it's carried on from last season, which is a great shame for them. Because obviously the reason why you make all those signings is to improve the team and try and shake it off.

12:23Luke Moore: A la Taylor Swift. but with De Zerbe he's not managed to do that but I do think that you know there is a team in there somewhere and they are showing a little bit just unfortunately for them while they're going for an equaliser the ball drops a Subozla who just goes Oh what a goal I'll have a bit of that but before we get to that because we can wax lyrical about that for the rest of the day do you think though that with Spurs like it is as bad as it has been because I feel that there is baby steps in the right direction I don't think it is I think you've got to look at this fixture and the supreme bad luck of getting Liverpool away so early in the competition, especially when you're still finding your feet.

13:02Luke Moore: And, you know, there are lots of new players that are still gelling. There are players out injured. Sandro Tonali and Pedro Porro were missing yesterday. There'll be players who are probably in his starting 11. I mean, at some point, Marcus, I do expect them to score a goal. I mean, that is how bad it is at the moment, isn't it? But of course, I cannot see a continuation of the nonsense of the last couple of seasons. Tonali's played every Premier League game and been shit. Sure, absolutely. I take that. But I don't think that will last either. I think at some point he will settle in. He's a much better player than we've seen.

13:35Luke Moore: Do you think the Spurs are at least, as I said, making a few baby steps in the right direction? My concern for them would be, when I talk about them being lack of confidence, I can give you another example. There was a passage of play during the game last night. I can't remember if it led to a goal or just a chance. but they're trying to play out from the back. They just can't do it. Yeah, so they're struggling a bit with that. And they're getting pressed by, you know, three 18-year-olds. Yeah, Philippines, Philippines. Yeah, whoever old they are. I mean, Ray Nguyen was pretty quick. I wouldn't want to be pressed by him.

14:01No, fine. But then you're a 43-year-old man. And not a footballer.

14:05Luke Moore: That'd be awful. You're just doing your shop and he's all over you. I'd like to be pressed by John Parker. Not in a physical, like pressed up against me, but like him trying to get the ball off me. Well, you reckon you just dance around him, even now? I could see him coming is what I'm saying but anyway they just can't they don't have the confidence to do it and the concern is I think the wider point around that is that that is clearly the way Deserby wants to play he's got a very distinctive quite tactically you know specific way that he likes to play and he said at the start of the season we're not ready he keeps saying stuff now like oh we can't buy in mentality we can buy in players but we can't buy in mentality and the question becomes if the baby steps you're talking about which may or may not be there are going to be enough across a period of time which means they're not going to be in such a bad rut they're going to have to make another decision.

14:59I suppose. Because if we're still they've got one more game against Villarreal on Saturday and then if they don't win that so they lose that at home. It's a massive international break and the whole thing kind of steps up again because a lot of the players would have been away and before you know it you're in mid-November and you're in real trouble. What is a good season for them? 16th. No, I think they have, the money they've spent and the manager they've brought in, it has to be like, it has to be top 10. I would even say possibly Europe. It has to, I thought they would, I thought they'd really hit the ground running.

15:33It's been tough for them because the World Cup's interrupted people's pre-season. It's been truncated as it always is. And I think, like I say, Dezerbi's so tactically specific how he wants to play that it feels to me that the problem with him is he's so volatile that he never sticks around very long anyway. And if it's going to take him fucking nine months to get the plan how he wants to get them, will he be gone in another nine months?

15:54Luke Moore: Yeah, well, that remains to be seen. In terms of what would be a good season, I think it's... You have to... It's got to be top... They have to get top 10. I think it has to be. That's an absolute minimum. I understand that point. I understand that point. But I think it has... I know this is a basic thing to say. It has to be clear progression. And if they've played some good football. So they may well take some time. Well, they are taking time to get where De Zerbe wants them. And let's say that goes on for another month or something, as you say, in the international breaks there and whatnot.

16:24Luke Moore: I think that it has to be they've played some good football. You can see the direction they're going in and he's changed the sort of the culture, if you like, and the mood is lifted and different. And if that means they finish 11th or 12th, but they've impressed a bit. They're back on track. Yeah, exactly. I think that's okay. So I think the absolute specifics of it. I do have sympathy with your view about it's got to be top 10 because of the amount of money they're spent. All I'm saying is the early signs are poor and the improvement and the change in mentality, whatever it is you just said, is by the manager's own admission not actually happening.

17:01Luke Moore: But indeed, but he's taking over a whole thing that is not just of the back end of last year. This is not when Eddie Howell took over at Newcastle United and they were struggling, you know, and he could pick them up and they were sort of ready to go and obviously they started spending pretty well and so on. we know that despite that Europa League win, which gets more distant by the week, Spurs have been in a real, to use that word again, a real rut for a long time now. And it's going to take a lot to get them out of it. Not just chucking millions of pounds at players and so on. It's going to take more.

17:34Luke Moore: Yeah, but I mean, the sort of counter to that would be, and the counter in that, I think they should be aiming for Europe really. not necessarily the Champions League but certainly a European place is that they have spent a lot of money which is again only so relevant but it's the profile and the quality of player they've brought in. They've brought in a lot of very experienced good Premier League proven players. I suppose you could make an argument that perhaps Savino and Marmusha have been kind of bit part players for City so this is their chance to truly cement their status as that. But without Europe as well I mean they should in theory have a clear run at it but we are four games in.

18:11Luke Moore: You and I were saying this about Leeds the other night and how, you know, we hope that they continue to be as good as they look to be, because that would be really fun. And they're a very likeable team. But both of those sides is a continuation from last season. Yes, sure. Sure. Absolutely. But... Spurs are actually... I mean, they're six games in. Sure. Well... We're talking about a League Cup game. Yeah, we are talking about a League Cup. Okay, but... All right, fair enough. Okay, but even so, of a very, very long season. that you're right but you know these players are they're Premier League experience you know it shouldn't it shouldn't take them a whole season to sort of gel baby steps or not they need more there's no doubt about that Liverpool have spent an awful lot of money as well what did you think of their performance Luke because yes they won the game yes they have scored three lovely got very easy on the high goals they were and McAllister wants that contract oh he does hey you've got to give the club a bit of credit there earn your contract it gets to the point doesn't it where the club thinks, hang on a minute.

19:06You should have been doing that anyway. You should just be doing that because we've had a contract discussion.

19:10Luke Moore: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll give you a week's extension. And so on. It's rolling. Just keep it going. So we'll do your time sheet at the end of each week and we'll see how you get on. Exactly. I think you don't want to spend too much time analysing it, to be perfectly honest. The changes they made were massive. They had a load of young players in there. They won the game pretty handily in the end. and Iriola will be obviously delighted they've got a win because it's been, again, tough for them with the new manager. But I mean, the juxtaposition between the two managers is interesting to me because I feel like Iriola is under a similar amount of pressure.

19:47Liverpool are a bigger club and he's following the guy who followed one of their best ever managers. So it's a lot for him to think about as well. And he'll be under pressure if he doesn't start getting results big time in the league. but then the difference between Liverpool and Spurs this season you can sort of on the surface level think oh they're tinkering around finding it hard for things to click Liverpool haven't actually lost a game this season and Spurs have hardly won one so that's the big difference

20:15Luke Moore: Have they hardly won one? Have they beat Charlton or something? The round before this wasn't it? That's the only win they've had Dominic's a ball's a large goal Outrageous When the ball set up for him like that we're all thinking it just like this is a real chance for a blockbuster and as soon as it left his foot the way the ball swerves such an enjoyable hit is there anyone in the league with better technique than him striking the ball I don't think there is no I mean he's one of the best in the world isn't he has to be he stood out like he stood out like a fucking one man Mount Rushmore last year to Liverpool he was brilliant even though they found it really tough sometimes playing at right back as well he played everywhere he's played everywhere he's a proper Swiss army knife but a Swiss Army knife with all the tools you could actually use them properly.

21:00Luke Moore: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, he's not a magnified glass, is he? No. No. Do you get one of those in a Swiss Army knife? I think you do, do you? I don't know. What about toothpick? You get a toothpick, definitely. Right, okay, yeah. You get a toothpick in one side and tweezers in the other side. Yeah, he's not either of them. He's the knives. He is a knife. He's all of them. That's the whole point, isn't he? He does a whole lot. Oh, he certainly did last season. It's such a good hit. The way it sits up for him is Rory, producer Rory of this parish told me that there's a phrase in Scotland where if the ball falls for you like that, everyone will say, shite bag if you dinny.

21:35Luke Moore: And I'm so glad he did it. You've got to take it on. He did it. You've got to take it on. Translation, shit bag if you don't. Yeah, and he did. He did. With a plum. No one can accuse Dominic Subozlai of being a shite bag. He always takes it on. That's what you love about him. He always takes it on. He does. He absolutely does. And nice to see Andy Robertson getting a standing ovation from the Liverpool fans. Yeah, it was actually nice. He's been a good servant to them. He's a great pro. He seems like a nice fellow. And he's not a threat anymore. No. Not that he was before, of course. But there we are.

22:06Luke Moore: Well, a win for Liverpool and they march on in the Carabao, heading towards that 100 grand prize money or whatever it is this year. Coming up after this, young Max Dowman grabs a brace.

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23:35Hello. And now the Premier League is back, Barry, meaning we'll be providing incredibly astute analysis three times a week wherever you get your podcasts. Barry, with the remaining 10 seconds of this advert, can you provide some astute analysis? I think Arsenal are going to win the Premier League. And there you are. For more hot takes like that, watch or listen to Football Weekly wherever you get your podcasts. This is Liv Perez from Let's Get Dressed. And one thing fashion has taught me is that the smallest details are often what makes something feel truly special. The weight of a fabric, the click of a clasp, or the way a beautifully tailored piece moves.

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24:39There's a championship venue, so no VAR tonight. Woo-hoo!

24:45Luke Moore: Welcome back everybody to the Football Rebel. It's Danny Murphy. You'd better know, would you? Sounds like a quite effeminate Homer Simpson. Yes. A little bit, yeah. Quick reminder that Pete Donaldson will be joining Jim and I for the preview show on Friday and we'll once again be live streaming the whole thing on our YouTube channel. So search Football Rebel on YouTube, hit subscribe and we'll see you in the live chat this Friday at 9.30am. Sharp. Very sharp. Ipswich down two, Arsenal four. Blimey, Ipswich managed to break that Arsenal defence. But it wasn't enough because Max Daumann and the boys were doing bits.

25:23Luke Moore: Scored his first goals of the season, his second and third for the club, of course. Still 16 years old, Jim. He doesn't move quicker than the rest of us. He turned 17 years old on New Year's Eve. A big old celebration for everybody then. That is coincidence though, that is about the new year. it is he was magnificent Jim he was yeah the first goal in particular was so so good the glide on him the glide on the boy and he is a boy 16 years old doing that against men it's unthinkable it's crazy it's crazy yeah I don't really remember seeing properly nasty work yeah because when Wayne Rini broke through he was incredibly he was a little bit older but already people said he was like a baby elephant he was already really really physical Max Dalman still looks really slight and I feel like we still don't know what he actually looks like because he's not grown into his own body yet.

26:14Luke Moore: But the way he moves, he's one of those players who seems to have the ball on a string and it wasn't just the goals. He was absolutely magnificent in every element of his game last night. He pressed really well. He was involved defensively. His decision-making was pretty much excellent, especially given that he basically took the ball off Victor Jokers to score that goal. I was about to say, I mean, the thing is, Jim, you're playing in the number 10 role and your striker's fucking useless. It's harder for you and he still managed to score two. Yeah, did it himself. and he scored with both feet as well.

26:41Luke Moore: It's very exciting. And he started in the number 10 role, which was very interesting. It was sort of expecting to see him out wide. That is interesting because we have seen him out wide a lot more, haven't we? Yeah. When we have seen him, and we're obviously all waiting for him to have a breakthrough season. But him playing the hole, I guess, fair enough, it's in the League Cup, but he was really able to affect the game an awful lot. And that's incredibly encouraging as well from an Arsenal point of view. Yeah, really, really good. And it was interesting to see that it was basically his bodyguards were Bruno Gimmaras and Mikel Moreno, which gives you a lot of security.

27:10Luke Moore: And it was a great platform. So basically, given that he's played like that against the Premier League side, I know they're heavily rotated and it's a low priority for them. So it's not necessarily the best indication of the level. But I think he's certainly played himself into contention in that role. He has to have. After the game, Mikel Arteta said, we don't want to stop him. We don't want to put the brakes on him. We need to develop him. And we're fully aware of what he needs. He will have opportunities. Yeah, I rate how much, I feel like so far, Jim, of course, you would know better than me, but it feels like Arteta's given him just enough of a taste of the biscuit so far.

27:44He's doing it in the right way, I think.

27:46Luke Moore: Well, you would have probably seen how Guardiola did it with Phil Foden, in that, if you remember, like with, obviously, each player is different. People were crying out for Foden for a long time, weren't they? Their temperament, their situation, their mentality, all that kind of stuff. Circumstances of the team. If Guardiola hadn't done that with Foden, there's no way he would have been able to kick Fernandes in the balls at the weekend exactly he did that perfectly because he was the perfect experience level to get him right in the cock and there's no way he would have been able to do that without being managed you've got a split second to get him right in the dick exactly and it was really well timed execute brilliantly but with Foden as you say we were crying out for him and Guardiola was just and he knows the temperament of the player as I say all that sort of thing I would trust Arteta to get it right with Dallman because the last thing you want is so much attention and you think, hang on, this won't be fair on the lad, you know.

28:36I think he should get a little, I would be interested in a little low move to Pompey, toughen him up. Pompey and Arsenal have got a good relationship. That's true. Get him down there. Get him in the jam role in the championship. He'd probably single-handedly get us playoffs.

28:51Luke Moore: Yeah. Fulham have got a better relationship with Arsenal, I feel. Yeah, but they're not in the championship. They're in. They might be next season. Yeah, that's true. That's true. At the time of recording, they're not. What did you make of Jokeres though? Is he about to be the forgotten man? It was a very, very frustrating performance from Jokeres. I try to be... You try to be kind, don't you, Jim? Positive and kind towards him, but yesterday he had very few touches, which isn't always a bad thing for a striker, depending on what they do with those touches, but he was ineffective. And it was the runs for me.

29:20Luke Moore: It was a team where every time Arsenal went forward, they looked like they'd be able to score a goal, realistically, for a long period of that first half in particular. but he wasn't getting in the positions where he's actually going to manage to do anything. I think he had one shot and even then he probably would have been better popping that off to someone else in that particular situation. So it's frustrating. I think he's not getting many minutes and that's difficult for anybody. It's difficult for a striker particularly. Absolutely. And I think this is what would have happened last season if Kai Havertz had been fit from the start of the season.

29:50Luke Moore: I think Jokic would have been distinctly second choice. So this is perhaps a return to what the original plan for him was. But he just doesn't look like someone who's going to come off the bench and get you a goal at the moment. I think that's the problem. I think his days are numbered, to be honest. I do as well. I think that the first season, you can give him a bit of grace. You know, but when you're talking about a side who, you know, the Premier League champions have got to the Champions League final, to give a player a season's grace is generous enough, I think. Some people go, what are you talking about?

30:18Luke Moore: He's got to hit the ground running. I think that... But he did score, what, 14 goals in the league? I mean, he got 21 in 55, which is not disgracefully bad. That's the most any player has scored for Mikel Arteta in a single season. So he's a real conundrum. But he needs to be, he doesn't look like he's going to be doing that at the moment. Yeah, and so I think that's why you kind of bear that in mind. And he remains, I think... He's an enigma. Yeah, he should be, in time, a handy squad player. Should be. Whether he will be is a different matter because he started the season quite poorly. And if he carries on playing like this, then he's not going to be considered a handy squad player.

30:53Luke Moore: He's going to be, you know... Arteta will go back to, obviously, well Havertz will be the number one striker as he already is and then he'll put on Mourinho instead of him. Sure. Well that's what's going to happen. I think the issue is the technical level. We saw it a few times last night in terms of the build-up play. That had massively improved by the end of last season. He had actually got quite good at that side of the game. He seems to have sort of reverted to the level he was at when he first joined. Is that Graham Potter's fault? Possibly. Possibly it might be that. Yeah although his build-up play for Sweden was brilliant in the World Cup as well.

31:22Luke Moore: So it's... I mean, perhaps it's just a small sample size and he had an off game. But Arsenal are zipping the ball about a lot quicker this season. And I think they're trying to be better on the transition. So in theory, that should suit him. But he's got to get himself into a position to take a chance to start with. And then he has to score it. And then we might think, OK, all right, we're OK here. He took long enough to kind of get up to speed. When he finally gets up to speed, he's like, oh, you've changed it again. Oh, this is too fast. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's it, you're right. what do you want from me when you think of early on Liverpool game the the run that Kumas makes and he gets it on goal it's a brilliant run and it's a lovely through ball I forget who played the through ball but it was beautifully weighted and he has a shot and the keeper saves it and that's the kind of run that you never see Djokovic make he just you never see him he doesn't seem to be able to find the time for himself yeah he's not he's not sort of exceptionally quick by Premier League standards so that's part of the problem and also Arsenal face a lot of low blocks and he's also not a player for that type of game.

32:25I also feel like whenever I watch him I always want him to sort his feet out quicker. Absolutely.

32:30Luke Moore: But that was one of the things people were saying why Liverpool didn't sign him last time around because obviously there was a lot of hype around him scoring tons of goals in Portugal and people were saying it's that lack of that half a second where he does take a moment to do it but Arsenal knew what they were signing. Can I make a quick shout out to Leif Davies who's got another assist last night? You love Leif don't you? He's a great player I think he's shown such improvement. It's great to see. Talking of strikers, should they try and re-sign Chubba Akpom? He scored in the game, based on that, absolutely.

33:00Luke Moore: 30-year-old Chubba Akpom. No, I don't think they should sign him. Don't say absolutely. It's a terrible idea. A little bit more from Jim. No, I was actually giving you a little bit more, mate. Thank you. Encouraging marketable, because it's his show as well, isn't it? Yeah, should they try and re-sign? No, okay. I've had my moment. Noni Matueke scored on his first start of the season. Yeah, well, excluding the community shield. And he's another one as well, Maduweke. I think he is a handy squad player. Yeah. That is his role, though, isn't it? But that is his role, exactly, yeah. But, and I know he's still sort of fairly young.

33:34Luke Moore: But I... You want to see a bit more from him? Well, I know every single, you know, England fans thought that, you know, Arsenal fans. Yeah. Are we... Because, you know, you mentioned about... And the reason why I say this, because you mentioned that Jokras' days might be numbered. but at Arsenal. I think Maduweke gives a little bit more. But he's another one, I think, the way Arsenal are going, he will have to improve a little bit more. So it's more of an encouraging display. Yeah, I mean, his finish was really good. He was a handful for it all night. I think one of the things with Maduweke is he sometimes, he'll do something really good and then cut back and lose the advantage of the good thing he did first.

34:14Luke Moore: He's, at his best, he's sort of relentless at going around his man and getting into the box and taking players on. Sometimes I wish he would just kind of focus on that and just do that one thing that he does really well over and over again if you have to because it eventually, you know, it unsettles defenders and he runs at them in a way that can be a real problem if they haven't got the measure of him. And I wonder if sometimes he gets in his own head a little bit as well and sort of, you know, puts the brakes on when he doesn't need to. I feel he's one of those players where it does look like all of the tools are there for him to be a bit more effective and have better output than he does.

34:49Luke Moore: Yeah, true enough. Did you see, Luke, before the game, Arsenal demanded a meeting with Pro Ref, formerly Pugmal, over the penalty decision against Esri Konza at Sunderland? Gone off writing letters now, have you? Yeah, they want a meeting. That's the next step. Yeah, just go... Strongly worded letter becomes a strongly worded meeting. We're outside. We're standing outside. We're not coming out. Are you for the chop, Mrs. Murray? Standing outside, dressed as a big pork chop. Yeah. Wanting to know what's going on. It's a funny one, because that specific incident. So I got pelters from a load of our viewers on YouTube on Monday for two reasons.

35:21One for a quite poorly articulated point about Erling Haaland which I'll take on the chin. Second one was because I said I thought it was a penalty on Esri Konza and clearly Arsenal were fuming about it.

35:31Luke Moore: Yeah, I mean, I don't think it was a penalty. I don't think it was a penalty. I agree with Marcus's take that obviously Dan Ballard does the old judo role as people say but I don't think what Konza was doing met the threshold of the wrestling that they're trying to sort of stand out. But they are being harsh on it now this season. They changed it from last season. Sure, but I still don't think that it is enough. Do we think that referees and pro-ref, formerly Pugmol, are they changing the laws enough? I don't think they're changing them enough. I think we're not getting enough changes from season.

36:00No, but they're not. It'd be either of them

36:02Luke Moore: that were changing them, wouldn't it? Yeah, but it changes all the fucking time. It would change. The amount of different interpretations of different laws there's been in the last five, since VAR, really, almost like eight years. It's been extraordinary. Howard Webb spoke this week about the handball law being a bit of a nonsense with the Harry Maguire situation in particular a couple of weeks ago. But Marcus is right, isn't he? It is IFAB. To a point, their hands are a little bit tied on that. There's an interpretation that can be applied, though. And I think that the biggest problem with the handball law is that nobody understands it.

36:32Like, nobody. So it's written in a certain way that I think it's just, in my mind, maybe I'm being unfair, but in my mind, it's like faceless bureaucrats are writing these fucking weird laws and then no one really knows how to interpret them. And you know the old saying that you don't, unless you can explain something to a five-year-old, you don't fully understand it yourself. That's the kind of things people say. It feels like that with this. Like, when it gets to the point with, so say, for example, the Man City goal that Harlan scores, the referees come out and say, we made a mistake, shouldn't have happened, blah, blah, blah.

37:05And that's fine. But it gets to the point on that mic'd up show, that god-awful piece of work with Michael Owen, right? They don't, I don't fully, I don't always feel convinced state, Howard Webb actually knows himself. And it just feels very strange. It must feel quite Kafkaesque.

37:21Luke Moore: I feel it's quite exciting. You just don't know what you're going to get. Whoa, Kafkaesque. What are you doing reading things that aren't real? What does that say about you? Exactly. I shall have a look at myself. Anyway, enough of this bollocks. Full and beat West Ham 3-2. There we go. To march on. 100 grand. 100 grand. To march on. You find that down the back of the seats, won't you? After every home game. Absolutely. Well, people have to pay that for the seat. yeah AFC Wimbledon put them to the sword West Ham to the sword yeah at the London State five goal thriller it did look like they were going to balls this up for a time didn't it it did Jim but they didn't fortunately they managed to hold on to a lead finally having had the lead twice before that and as you say bugged it up yes a vital win though isn't it I think you want a little cup run who doesn't love a little cup run I'll take anything at the moment Jim how excited will you be to eventually get knocked out of the league up over two legs by, say, let's say, Liverpool?

38:18Two legs? That means Fulham get the semi?

38:20Luke Moore: You take that, will you? They got to the semi every year and you were heartbroken that to play a good team over two legs. Well, obviously. It was it. Jim, he went with me to the second leg. Eventually. Remember, there was some sort of ticketing fiasco. I've never seen a man more resign to the fact, we're just not going to do it over two, all week, we're not over two legs, we're not going to do it. He's right, though. He is right. It's bollocks having two legs semi-farnes. I get it in the Champions League, but it is annoying. It is annoying. But anyway, Fulham, they beat West Ham. So, I mean, look, this was the classic Premier League side, not doing very well, Championship side who have had a bit of an upturn in fortune in the last sort of, you know, however many games.

39:01Luke Moore: And it did have me a little bit worried. So, look, with Fulham winning this game, the problems are still there. I mean, the fact is that Fulham do look okay going forward. They have scored a few goals in the league this season. And obviously they drew 0-0 at Anfield. But they did look, at times actually, the more likely to score. It's the defensive display from Fulham. And again, the two goals, it was just a bit like Fulham are so soft at the back, despite getting that draw, as I say, at Anfield and a clean sheet. So it was more relief. Well, I would say a couple of things. One is that West Ham score amazing amounts of goals.

39:35I mean, they absolutely mullered Wrexham.

39:38Luke Moore: Yeah, they did. They bludgeoned them. That was quite pleasing, wasn't it? It was great to watch. And then, so the fact that Fulham were able to outscore them is great, particularly at their own stadium. Because West Ham are still, they've got a lot of good plays. Yeah, and here's a stat for you. West Ham have scored a Premier League goal more recently than Spurs. That is good. That is a great one. And then, I'll tell you who looked really good for Fulham was Palacios. Yes, that finish was lovely, wasn't it? Goal and assist. He seemed to be involved a lot. That's really encouraging. Well, it is.

40:08Luke Moore: Amounis came in and scored, didn't he? Well, he started, yeah. as he would do in these games. But what Arbeloa did against Liverpool, which he learned from the previous, you know, sort of a couple of games, I would say, is Fulham looks really bad at the back at the moment. And so you need a bit more steel in the centre of midfield. So obviously Charles had brought in from Southampton, get Sanderberger in there. You've got a big Norwegian bastard who knows how to, you know, play that role in the Premier League. So he had those two. And then he put Iwobi actually on the left rather than Palacios, who is a good player.

40:39Luke Moore: but he's still very young and he's getting used to a different league and so on and I thought ah that was interesting those changes he made there so that sort of paid off good for Oscar Bob to get up and running as well goal wise because he's so far and it's small sample size although he has been there since January he's almost a bit forgotten yeah because he showed a little bit of Manchester City there was a little bit of height then he got a bad injury and obviously it's difficult do you know what it felt like it felt like the excitement when they signed Emile Smith I knew you were going to say that yeah and that's a fair comparison Neither of them have been great.

41:11Luke Moore: Oscar Bob, as I say, coming back from injury and so on. How long has he been there now? It's only six months. January, yeah. And obviously played at the World Cup, but I think, again, it's one of those players who, a little bit like when we were talking about Nani Madiweke, a lot of flashy, you know, a lot of exciting play and then the end product isn't there. So for him to get the winner, I think, is very much what a Fulham fan needs. And before the game, West Ham paid tribute to former goalkeeper Ludic Moklosko, who died sadly of cancer. this week and a player who for anybody who remembers the 90s a legend yeah a legend handed Blackburn the title of course yes when West Ham drew 0-0 with Manchester United in the last that was in 95 in 95 yeah so yeah he was a hero to a lot of the West Ham supporting kids at my school so that's pretty sad I remember him being a pretty big figure when I was a kid yeah yeah yeah absolutely no a good goalkeeper indeed and elsewhere in the Carabao Cup Brentford have beat Reading 2-1 in a tight match at the select car leasing stadium.

42:12Luke Moore: That's great. I don't observe Reading, so no. I'm not a fan of Reading. So did Brentford just get a bye as far as you took the next round? The end result is the same. Nice for Callie Wilson to score. Yeah, I suppose so, yeah. He's drifting around like different middling Premier League clubs, isn't he? Now becoming a Carabao Cup specialist. Yeah. His dummy as well for Carvalho's goal was very nice. Well, good for Carl Fulham to score as well, by the way. Well, it's another one. I look at him and I think, why did you leave, son? Why did you leave Fulham? But look, good for him to score. He's a delightful player and I hope he can put a run together.

42:44Luke Moore: It was his first appearance since November 2025, of course. But yeah, no, no, no, good for him. To round things off, Peterborough United had a six-goal thriller with Barnsley. Yeah, have you guys got, have you got WhatsApp open on your laptop, Jim? I do not. Have you, Marcus? I can, I can. I've sent you a photo. So this game, I watched a bit of Peterborough versus Barnes. It's a great game. I should say the posh went through on pens. They did. A couple of things I'll say before I bring what I'm about to show you in. Don't mention it yet. The opening Barnsley goal was a magnificent fuck-up. Oh, so good.

43:15I mean, how that's even happened is ridiculous.

43:17Luke Moore: Is Danny Baker thinking, oh, I might get a video or another? Not these days. Baker. No, not these days. He wouldn't do one of those now. He's all about his own patron stuff now, isn't he? So he would do something, but you'd have to pay for him to do it. I didn't want or expect that to take a serious time. It's not a serious term. You introduce a tangent, I'll run with it, you know that. Anyway, but then Peterborough equalised, this is the point I want to make, and Peterborough equalised, and there's no one at the stadium, because it's a League Cup game, and you're fine, it's a Peterborough. And then when the player who scores peels off to celebrate, there's two mascots at the corner flag, and it's like some fucking weird fever dream crossed with Donnie Darko.

43:56It's like a giant rabbit, and then what seems to be like a massive Lego man with a hard hat on. And they're all celebrating alongside the player.

44:05Luke Moore: If you look closely, Little Luke's by the corner. The rabbit's got a massive carrot in his hand. Well, I mean, that's consistent, isn't it? Yeah, why is that detail? Well, first of all, he shouldn't be eating on the job. He's having a break. What, in the middle of the game? The team have just scored his only role is to celebrate with the team. Rabbits are really grumpy. You can't tell them what to do. I want Peter Profoundst to get in touch to why there's a Lego man in overalls with a hard hat on and why there's a rabbit there eating a carrot. I quite like two mascots. Yeah. I suppose when your nickname is the Posh, it's probably quite hard to come up with a mascot, I suppose.

44:38Luke Moore: I suppose so. Yeah, the Lego Man is... Yeah, I need to... It's Boilerman-esque to me. Do you remember the Boilerman? Of course I do. Yeah, it's like that. The combi boiler. It's similar vibe. Oh, was that West Brom? I can't remember. Was it West Brom? Tom's nodding. Of course it was West Brom. Of course it was bloody West Brom. Tonight in the Carabao Cup, Manchester United host Brighton in a huge match at Old Trafford. One player who was set to feature but won't is 15-year-old JJ Gabriel. Now, some of you may or may not know JJ Gabriel, teenage sensation. He won the Premier League Under-18s Player of the Year Award last season.

45:13Luke Moore: He has, I mean, scored a ton of goals. Proper teenage progeny. I mean, people say his level of development is akin to when Ryan Giggs was there. He obviously went on to be a club legend. Comparing him to all these players. and he's asked to leave the club amid reported issues in the relationship between his family and Manchester United which has come as a huge surprise because again, if anybody's heard of JJ Gabriel, they know that, you know, it sounds like they've got a real player there and in time, he'll be sort of drip fed into the squad as he was going to be. Now, he was going to be in the squad tonight against Brighton.

45:48Well, there was talk here we're going to use the mechanism that Arsenal used for Max Downward to name him against Sabah as well in the Champions League and I think that's the source of the frustration because there was talk he was going to feature and he didn't. And his dad, who's got a terrible reputation, really bad reputation, I don't know him, but that's what the chat is, has now started to say, which is not good enough, and started to kick off and all the rest of it. And I mean, anyone who has a passing interest in kind of young players knows the name JJ Gabriel. He's been highly rated for such a long time.

46:23Luke Moore: And he's mad to say for a long time because he's 15. He's still only 50. That's the thing. And I think the fact that they're causing issues between the family and the club, which as far as I know is coming from his dad, it's just such a weird dereliction of duty in my view because it feels to me like he thinks he's got a Laminya Mell on his hands. But, you know, for every Laminya Mell, there's a Ravel Morrison, right? You've got to be careful. You've got to take your time with it. There's plenty of time ahead of him, plenty of track, plenty of road left to run. And it just seems like a real shame.

46:55And the thing is that there are clubs out there maybe that, I'll be sure there's obviously going to be clubs that will take him. But how many clubs out there are there going to be that's going to take him that are the size of May United and aren't going to give him the barriers to entry that United are because of his age? There's none. Every single guy. What's he going to go? Barcelona? Real Madrid? They're going to have the same attitude. They're going to say, oh, ultimately, he's 15 years old. You just need to be patient. It's a real shame for him. I completely agree. The real alarm bell for me was a while back when there was chat that his name isn't actually JJ Gabriel.

47:29It's something else. And his dad and him come up with some plan to rename him for branding purposes. Yeah, well. I mean, that should tell you everything you need to know about what's going on there. Because his name's actually, he's got an Irish name, hasn't he? Joseph O 'Kirrell or something like that. But his name's been changed to JJ Gabriel, basically.

47:48Luke Moore: Interesting. from the Man United side they've kind of clearly made it known that they've essentially put everything in place to make his path to the first team kind of clear and he apparently met Alex Ferguson but still doing that you remember the chat when David Beckham was 14 I think and they were away to West Ham and Steve Bruce and Gary Pallister were saying that Ferguson was showing him around the dressing room after the game because he knew he was obviously a Manchester United fan and Bruce looked at Pallister and it was a bit like, this is a player you've got. If the gaffers, you know, showed that amount of interest and wooing the player.

48:24Luke Moore: You know, they used to do it with Boyle Charlton, they used to do it with Busby as well, Matt Busby as well. So, he's probably the most highly rated 15-year-old in the world. There's been chat about him for such a long time given his tender years. But ultimately, his dad's going to be responsible for him, I suppose. I mean, the Max Diamond thing, we didn't mention it earlier, but like, the thing that really hits at home for Max Downman is that when he finishes a game he has to go and get changed in a different dressing room for safeguarding he's a child these kids are so young they're so young of the actual age no I completely agree alright coming up after this Sunderland are back on the European stage

49:11Hi Pod fans Max here Barry's here too hello and now the Premier League is back Barry meaning we'll be providing incredibly astute analysis three times a week wherever you get your podcasts. Barry, with the remaining 10 seconds of this advert, can you provide some astute analysis? I think Arsenal are going to win the Premier League. And there you are. For more hot takes like that, watch or listen to Football Weekly wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, this is Brooke DeVard from Naked Beauty. I am always looking for ways to elevate our daily rituals, and the Kohler Smart Toilet is proof that design changes everything.

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50:49Luke Moore: Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. Tonight at 8pm, Sunderland hosts AZ Alkmaar. Sunderland's first appearance in a major European competition since the 1973-74 season. How about that, Jim Campbell? We hadn't even been given, never mind the bollocks, when Sunderland were last in Europe. It was a few years before that. That season they played in the European Cup Winners' Cup, of course. And the reason why we stress it's a major European competition, they did play in the Anglo-Italian Cup in the 90s, which does seem quite an odd competition. It seemed a little bit odd at the time. I was surprised it was going on in the 90s.

51:25You're speaking to someone who went to a cup of Anglo-Italian Cup. I know you did, yeah. I thought I'd bring you in at this point.

51:29Luke Moore: Yeah, and it would have been... Normally you're crashing. Would have been... I reckon it would have been around 93, 94. Yeah. It was a nice little cup, I suppose. Ah, it was a lovely little cup. Pompey used to do kids for a quid then. And it was cool because you used to be able to convince yourself that Pompey were in Europe. Yeah. Which is cool. And you'd also end up playing like some quite nerdy one for the heads, like Italian teams. Like Ancona or something. Yeah, it'd be like that. It obviously would never be like Juventus or... I remember Portsmouth. Where did they play once? Maybe Bari? Yeah.

51:56I think Comer might have been in it. The Leches of this world. Comer might have been in it at one point as well.

52:00Luke Moore: Blimey. Yeah. So it was a fucking great comp. So they've got some pedigree. Foggia. Foggia. Foggia. Yeah. They have to watch out. Yeah, I love that. It's great for Sunderland though. It's just fantastic for them. It's brilliant. And they've worked so hard last season for it. And I love that Granit Xhaka, he had the chance to go to Chelsea under Xabi Alonso, of course. And he was like, no, I'm staying at Sunderland. Is that what happened? That's how he tells it. No, he has said that. Because, I mean, if you think about, obviously when Chelsea got in Jordan Henderson, they wanted that older head maybe in midfield and whatnot.

52:33Luke Moore: And Granit Xhaka... We'd like one who still plays a lot, but we will take Jordan if not. Well, indeed. I think Granit Xhaka, there's more to come from him. He says the project isn't finished, doesn't he? Well, it isn't, because I do get if you've worked really hard and been a key player, but you do want to kind of fix it. Completely, completely. And he said of tonight, he said, the stadium will be on fire. I want all the players to be on fire. It's a little bit the mad world of... Arthur Brown. The crazy world of Arthur Brown. The crazy world of Arthur Brown. Imagine if they all come out with those things on their head.

53:04That would be fire. Yeah. I like it.

53:06Luke Moore: He's still alive Arthur Brown. Wow. He can't kill him. He's like Baron Samadie. He's the English Baron Samadie. Do you think many people know who Arthur Brown is? I don't think many people know. He's 84. He's still alive. I've got it here. Good man. Still knocking about Whitby. Is he? Yeah. Cooksy is. Cooksy bloody. And you would be, wouldn't you, if you had the choice. Sunderland midfielder Enzo Le Fay called Granit Jacques the dad of the Sunderland family while saying that he is the fun uncle. You can't dub yourself the fun uncle, can you? Yeah, I did think that. really dub yourself the fun anything.

53:37Luke Moore: Yes. I'm the most fun undertaker in town. Everyone thinks it. You just can't do it. Yeah. We'd all like to be our own critics, wouldn't we? Yeah. Well, he said of Granite, he said, Granite is definitely the dad of the family, but I am like the really fun uncle, you know? The cool uncle. That is me. That's even worse. I'm the good guy. The fun guy. He has to... Look, I didn't see his face or hear the tone of what this was said. He could be massively taking the piss. And if he is, I salute that. If he isn't, then the rest of the Sunderland players, you know what to do. I could give you some further content if you like.

54:05some context, sorry. This came from an interview he gave to The Telegraph where he said if he wasn't going to be a footballer, he would have liked to have been a magician.

54:12Luke Moore: There you go. So that tells its own story. I like it. I am into it, everybody. But yes, I think that's compulsive viewing tonight, Sunderland versus AZ Alkmael. Absolutely. I'll be watching it for sure. Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I do think the stadium will be absolutely pumping. Yeah. I mean, you're talking about the fact that the majority of people in that stadium aren't going to have been able to remember the last time Sunderland were in Europe and that is a key ingredient for a really great atmosphere. Yes. Jim, will you be tuning into that? Can we get confirmation? I will not be, as I am meeting a friend.

54:43Luke Moore: Which I deem more important. That friend clearly isn't David Cartlidge. I thought you were going to say that you would rather watch AC Milan hosting Benfica at San Siro. That would be another banger. That would be an absolute banger. That's an absolutely excellent European fixture. Real pedigree. It's a shame Benfica are cursed. Ask me if I've been watching that one, Marcus. Are you meeting Jim's motor? or are you watching that one? I won't be watching that one, Jim, Marcus, because I'll be watching Sunderland versus Asian Album. I see, I see. It's a trap. It is. Now, Jim, we do like a bit of falconer chat.

55:17Luke Moore: Apparently. You know, Millennium, not Millennium Falconers. Well, just put context on that because that guy got a cock extension. That's basically what. Wang Banabe. Yeah, the former Wang Banabe. Did we do that at the time? We should have done it. I think Banabe. I feel like someone did. Wang. Wang. Wang is slang word for penis. No, you're joking. W-A-N-G. This is news to me. Yes, fine. And I was aware of it. But I did get the joke. I like it in the running order, Tom's put, this is not Wambanabe of penis robotics, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not a robot cock, Tom. It was an extensive, extended cock.

55:51Luke Moore: It was more of a robot cock than mine. You pumped it up. It was a pump up. I don't think it was a pump. Was it not? There was like... I think there was a pump, yeah. The little pump button thing. I don't know how it works. Yeah. I thought, okay. I thought there was a little bit more to it. Jim, you're meeting him tonight. Just want some tips. He'll give you a tip. Now, the Benfiga Faulkner, of course. They've got an eagle, very famously. Everybody knows this. They have a Faulkner. Every good European side needs one. He's been reportedly arrested amid an investigation into alleged cocaine trafficking.

56:27Luke Moore: What is it with these Faulkners? I don't know. If it's not a sort of very, very niche kind of penis extension, it's this incredible double life. Yeah. Well, this man's name is João Paulo Santos. He trains the club's falcon, who's of course called Vitoria. The allegations claim that the scheme was operated through Humberto Delgado Airport in Lisbon, and it allegedly involved removing suitcases filled with cocaine from flights arriving in Lisbon from South America and bypassing baggage security. The report ledger Santos worked at the airport and was responsible for leading birds away from the runway.

57:05Luke Moore: I do like that idea. Come on, let's try. It's a great scheme. It's an excellent scheme. So you're in favour of it? I appreciate the artistry. Outrage. People still have jobs of leading birds away from runways at airports. I thought they used drones for that now. Or sounds or something. I like the way it's worded. We'll be doing that now. you're not getting rid of the birds you're leading them away so I suppose you've got to be gentle although they shoot blanks though do they not or is that the old days we're going back to the Peter's extension again you don't I don't think maybe he doesn't have a job there he's just off his tits

57:45Luke Moore: he's an important job though yeah of course it is you do not want a bird strike in your engine lads no your passenger airliner does not want a bird strike terrible news for anyone travelling on a plane. Juan Bernabe, though, he was, you know, inadvertently he's been leading the bird. Wasn't he living at the training ground? I think these falconers aren't being paid enough, are they? Well, no, I think he was holed up at the training ground for a bit. Right. You know, but the reason why he got the extension was because he said he wanted to shag every day or something. Yeah, that's right. He had a big shagging schedule.

58:15Luke Moore: That was a non-negotiable, wasn't it? Yeah. Has to be every day. And then Lazio said, you've brought the club into this week. Lazio. Yeah. Yeah. People chucking Nazi salutes up all over the place. I know, according to... Roman salutes. One thing that Jim and I have found out when there was that clip of Jim and I talking about Mussolini's grandson playing for Lazio, a lot of people are telling us that we've got it all right. Yeah, of course, yeah. We've got it all wrong. And then a lot of other people are coming in saying, what's wrong with fascism? Yeah, exactly. Don't even hide it these days.

58:47No, exactly. You don't need to now under the big Musk man, do you? True enough. Marcus, it's not fascism, Jim, just to say. It's free speech. It's the digital town square. I see. Everyone gets an opinion. Everyone gets to be racist. Everyone gets a falcon.

59:02Luke Moore: Everyone gets an opinion. Everyone gets a big cock. Everyone can get a penis extension. I just love the fact that I'm getting an extension. No, but the reason is because I'm shagging all the time. You think it's because I'm less of a man. It's because I'm more of a man. I need more of me. I heard that illegal immigrants are getting penis extensions on the NHS. You're joking. No, yeah. Well, I think we've got to finish that. Country's gone to the dogs. Much like Wan-Banabi. Let's finish that. Thank you for listening. Finish everywhere. All the time. thanks what time is it 10 past 7 minutes past 10 he's probably done one today yeah we're done absolutely done one with time difference yeah was he on his own or was he not we won't know thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Egg Casker Aton Network Friends of the Ramble don't go anywhere keep listening for Ramble Uncut if you're not a friend of the Ramble sign up now at patreon.com forward slash football ramble there we are thank you very much Luke Moore thanks thank you Jim Campbell thank you and thank you Carabao

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From the publisher

There really is nothing better big than a big slurp of Carabao on an autumnal Tuesday night. Cracking goals, plenty of chaos, and a delicious caffeinated beverage to go with it. That's a Luke Moore guarantee™.


Marcus, Luke & Jim are here to chat through all of last night's action, including yet another defeat for Spurs as they edge closer to self-combustion. Plus, Enzo Le Fée declares himself the 'fun uncle' at Sunderland, a rabbit eats a carrot at London Road, and our old pal Juan Bernabe gets some stiff competition. Pun very much intended.


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