The Best of Ramble Uncut 2025/26

0:00Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back-to-school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back-to-school must-haves at Whole Foods Market in-store or online. Hi, this is Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. Have you ever considered how the smallest details can create real emotion?

0:38Lexus does. At Lexus, master craftsmen called Takumi are involved not just in physical craftsmanship, but in sensory details. Things like how a door closes, the click of a switch, the acoustic feedback of controls. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience amazing at your Lexus dealer. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT's security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency.

1:23When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn more. Do you have an app idea you keep meaning to build someday? Well, someday just got a deadline. Ship-a-ton is back. The world's biggest mobile hackathon brought to you by Revenue Cap. It's simple. Launch a brand new app between August 1st and September 30th and compete for over$1 million in prizes. Win and your app could land on a billboard in Times Square, forever enshrined in app development glory. Join the fun at ShipATon.com. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well.

2:05Roof repair? Done well. Kitchen sink install? Done well. Deck upgrades? Done well. Electrical upgrade? Done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years, so we know the difference between done and done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com. In 2023, a source sent me a tip. It tied baseball's biggest star to a vast, illegal sports betting operation. Shohei Otani! But then someone surprising confessed to me. His best friend. I'm Epey Mizuhara, and you do have permission to record me. From 30 for 30 Podcasts, this is The Betrayal of Shohei Otani.

2:53Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts.

3:00Hello everyone, Marcus here. The new Premier League season is nearly upon us and here at the Football Ramble, we cannot wait to get stuck in. And of course, that also means another season of Ramble Uncut. Uncut is an extra dose of extra laid-back Ramble available exclusively to our Patreon and YouTube members every single Wednesday. For just$5 a month, you get these exclusive episodes in every episode of the Ramble completely ad-free. Plus access to the Discord where you can chat with other Ramble listeners. Head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved. And to get you in the mood, here are some of our favourite moments from Ramble Uncut last season.

3:51how many what percent of bird species have penises but what we do know Peter is when we were leaving the office earlier Marcus took a glimpse of your laptop no he said it I didn't look at it oh okay and that's what you were googling yeah so what percent it's actually thinking about it it's actually a very interesting question because I don't know if I know anything about how bird species procreate. I don't know anything about it. It's the old cloaca, isn't it? It's the old sort of like an inside out-y kind of thing. Oh, yeah. So I'm not going to say that. Yeah, there's a cloaca kid. Because you told me.

4:24Certain species will fertilise eggs separately. They'll come along later on. Yeah. Okay, you carry on. Do the washing, will you, Peter? Yeah. Fertilise those eggs, will you? I'm busy. They're in the fridge. Got to do the garden. But yeah. You do it badly. You never have to do it again. Never have to do it again. Never have to fertilize an egg again. 3 % of bird species have a functional penis. 3 %! 3 %! The vast majority of birds using the aforementioned clackle kiss where they both just touch their openings. Like Avatar, innit? Just touch their openings? They just touch their openings. They touch their openings.

4:57If only it was that easy. You just described the summer of 1998. Pornography would be very boring. Peter, has anyone ever touched your opening? I have. I was about to say At this table Yeah The last time I was touched On my opening It was probably Luke Something about that Sounds very Liam Sr Yeah it is a bit That's Come on I've touched I've touched I've got a good old handful He's a lovely boy He's a beautiful bird Yeah Ducks, geese and swans They have penises Okay It's such a It is a good question Because if loads of them did You'd see it wouldn't you As they're flying You'd see them Flossing around That's why these ones Are underwater Yeah ostriches and emus they have a conical penis and yeah they're the big boys the chickens and turkeys do have tiny wee penises like little they do start out developing a penis and then a specific gene triggers cell death during gestation so they only have a vestigial non-functional bump huh like action man so like our coccyx basically like action man like the fact is we used to have we develop a tail as we grow in utero but surely there's no kind of gene that sort of goes, suddenly gets introduced that reduces the size of our...

6:07Well, I think it's just evolution we've just been phased out. So you say this is a very specific active action that happens. Yeah, like something happens in gestation that makes their penises disappear. Wow. Again, you just described the song... I hope I never bump into that gene. You're going to get one of these. Oh, no, you're not. Yeah, Pete, what would happen if you rubbed up against one of those genes unintentionally? I guess they'd steal my penis away, wouldn't they? They would. And the nation would lose out as a result. it would be hurtful for the town to experience it. Some of the darkest corners of the internet will be Peter's penis listeners.

6:41The age old question is, would you rather no dick or your dick on your head? Yeah. Right, okay. And I asked this once when I was, this was many, many moons ago when I was doing a temp job. Yeah. When we were, we were a market. How temp was this job? I was like it was one day. It became a lot more temp after this. Yeah, yeah. It was meant to be, it was before the contract. Bring out the big guns in the interview. It was. And do you have any questions for us, Mr. Smeller? I do have a visual aid. It's more of a helicopter. It was sort of double-checking exam markings. Right, okay. So that's how temper it was.

7:20Wow. Yeah, yeah. But it was at a time when the... It was a number of years ago when the economy had taken a big old hit. So actually quite a lot of people were just wanting any kind of work to the point of there was an older guy who was a plumber and he was just like, he's got nothing really bad. and I felt quite sorry for him didn't stop me asking the question though speaking of plumbing yeah yeah anyway dry your eyes mate answer this no we a few a few of us were having some laddie banter what year was this? I'm trying to I'm trying to think when the when the depression give us an Oasis albums yeah oh that's true Down on the shoulder of giants no no don't believe the truth importance of being idle the era that kind of era not 2006 down to 7 could have been maybe slightly before that.

8:02But anyway, he was very quiet. He was very softly spoken about it. Very seldom would he join in, you know, because, you know, the chat was simply too scintillating and hot for him. And we asked him, one of the lads asked him just out of almost like courtesy asking him that. And he just straight away answered, just went, well, on your head. And we went, oh, why was that? Well, you could charge in. Good God. Flying head bot.

8:34That's awful It's good It's good stuff It's good stuff It's great That is great I'm very happy to hear that Oh don't you and me Yeah Very happy to hear that Very good Oh dear me Where were we Should we do Vardy We could do Vardy Your grubby little Grubby little temp job Oh Donaldson You definitely I was about to say Don't come at me with the grub What's the worst temp job You've had Donaldson To be honest There was a guy I was working in a Print finishing factory and we were packing tax returns. We'd occasionally put some sweets in there for a laugh. He, he, he. Imagine getting your tax return.

9:09You think you owe 20 quid, but he's... Sarcastic, yeah. Can you imagine receiving that? He's having some words in there. What are they smarties in there for? I don't get it. This isn't professional. Just packed with Dr. Paul. I remember a bloke came out and he's like, have you just been in that toilet? Let's piss all over the seat. yeah to be honest man I didn't he was like he was like it was you he got a little penis and he was like really telling me because I had a small penis that the the liquid was all over the seat your penis is massive yeah that's not true but the peeing into the hole but peeing into the hole it's kind of like like he genuinely thought that if your penis was small you couldn't get it into the hole because your penis is so short yeah I get it I calmed him down I get it You calmed him down.

10:00I got away with pissing off of the state. My experience of temp jobs was the people who worked there full-time hated you. Yeah. Because they knew you were getting out at some point. So I'll contextualise it for people who don't remember. I think I can remember a bit of it. So 2010 in June, Robbie Earle has his contract cancelled by ITV and has binned off the World Cup coverage because... He was a big pundit. Well, because... Yeah, he was. Because he gave some World Cup tickets away for the Netherlands v. Denmark match. Now he says he gave them on to a friend who sold them on to a company called Bavaria Brewery who orchestrated an ambush marketing event which is in breach of FIFA rules.

10:37It was the ladies, wasn't it? Yeah, all these attractive Dutch women. But obviously Bavaria Brewery were not an approved FIFA sponsor. So he was in contravention of that rule which he signed up to as being part of a FIFA event and he lost his job, right? He then lost his job as being an ambassador for England's World Cup 2018 bid which went well. Could have used him. yeah so maybe that's why we didn't get it but so he then came out and said look you know it was naive it was proven that he didn't profit in any way which he didn't and he you know he was he was kind of gutted but he lost his job right you feel like Sam Allardyce in Wings restaurant kind of in a way silly thing to do until you get into the detail which is remarkable and there's two details I want to say just give to you one is he was on 150 grand a year for doing that 150 grand for Robbie Earp which is wild right what do you mean as in like that's too much that was his contract are you mad what's he bringing he's on ITV television like is that a lot of money I still think there's a lot of money for Earl yeah but like compared to BBC he wouldn't get that on the BBC he'd be on 80 but 150 on ITV I share in Luke's exclaiming of that people focus too much on the price and not the value he did score Jamaica's first ever goal in the World Cup yeah he did and that's fair enough the worst I'm just building up to the main one here we go I'm just building up for this right guess how many free tickets Robbie fucking Earl got for that World Cup I mean so I what in total I could give you the in total number for the tournament and the amount for the final right why is Robbie Earl getting any tickets so I would think you changed your tune see I would think per game if he was interested I'm thinking a handful right like up to four that would be a reasonable amount that's what I would think yeah without trying to ruin the odds I don't have the per game.

12:27I only have the tournament in total and for the final. Right, yeah. So you've got the main game. Do you want the final first or the tournament? Because you are going to be fucking, you're going to shit an embryo at both of them, I'm telling you. Let's go for the whole tournament then. 400. 400 tickets for the World Cup. Yeah, but I kind of, again, the breakdown, I mean, how many, what World Cup year was this? 2010. 2010. So I'm thinking, I mean, how many games would they have been at that World Cup? 98 was still 64 matches 64 matches yeah about 64 right there you go yeah it is a lot what about the final then guess how many tickets so again I'm thinking Robby O we're giving for the final of the world three tickets per match he's one pundit on one broadcaster hang on so Pete you've what you've just done the calculations it's three tickets per match which yeah okay so that goes in what I'm saying but the final was quite quite heavily front yeah we couldn't get in it no we couldn't we were outside we were outside with our Boo Boo Zella.

13:26I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll do it like Bruce Forsyth. There we go. Play your cards right. So I'll get an opening offer from Pete and then Marcus, you go higher or lower and then we'll work it out. So Pete, how many tickets do you think Robbie Earle got for the World Cup final? Robbie Earle in 2010. I think he got five. Five. So I... No, I want it higher or lower. I mean, it has to be high, but I don't want to kind of... Okay. Higher than five, you say? I think five is high. Yeah, I think higher than five. What are you going for? So I would have gone for four or five. Right. So I think the way you're talking about this, he got 20 tickets.

14:0120 tickets for the World Cup final. Robbie L. Yeah, go on. Pete, would you go higher or lower than that? No, God no. Nowhere near. Okay. I feel like I might have won this. The answer is 40.

14:16It's just... Jesus Christ. It's just obscene. 40 tickets. It's obscene. And he reportedly didn't sell any of them. Sorry, Dutch fans that have travelled. Robby Earle's spread out over three seats. He's sitting on 40 tickets. There's 20 odd Dutchmen going, who are involved in the squad. Can I get any for my family? No, you've all got just one each. Do you want to speak to Robby? Yeah, Robby will get you a plus one. What, he's done it for Dutch television? Nah. England are out. They went out two and a half weeks ago. Like the Spanish boys, same as you. They're trying to tap up Robby. Jamaica didn't qualify.

14:51only if he was an actual earl would this make sense and even then it wouldn't be is he the earl of football is that what it was someone calculated how much 40 World Cup tickets were worth 70 grand yeah I was going to say 70 grand and they were nice tickets then clearly I'll have the money please Noel yeah I know why that's what he said yeah he didn't profit he didn't profit personally that's slander he didn't profit personally not personally

15:22One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT's security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn more. Hi, this is Kim and Penn Holderness from the Laugh Lines podcast. This episode is sponsored by Oli, your wellness partner for back to school and beyond. Back to school season is here.

15:58Packed backpacks, packed lunches and packed schedules are officially back. Oli Kids Sleep helps little dreamers wind down with a gentle blend of melatonin, L-theanine and botanicals for restful sleep. Translation, an easy way to put those school night negotiations to bed. And for the grownups, Ollie's sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed. Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early. Visit Ollie.com and stock up on back-to-school must-haves today. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

16:38There are moments that reveal who we are and who we're meant to become. For those born to lead, such moments call for a vehicle of equal distinction. Dynamic by design, uncompromising in execution, the Range Rover Sport was engineered for those rare individuals who demand the world and possess the conviction to claim it. When your time to lead arrives, you need a vehicle that rises to meet it. The Range Rover Sport. Exclusive offers available now. Explore further at RangeRover.com. You're a pro at running your life, at committing to your workout, at showing up every day. At Bombas, we're pros too.

17:14Pros at making socks. Our sport assortment has specialized socks for whatever sport you're committed to. Running, hiking, golf, Pilates, and so much more. Made with sweat-wicking yarns, blister-fighting details, and targeted art support. Bombas Sport is pro-level socks from the pros of socks. For another pro, you. Go to bombas.com slash audio and use code audio for 20 % off your first purchase. That's bombas.com and use code audio.

17:44Did you know that in the social hierarchy of prisons that armed robbers are at the very top? I did know that. Really? Yeah. Luke, Luke. God like me knows all this stuff. You know what I mean? Speller's done a bit of bird. A bit of bird. Yeah, you did. You did that time on the wing with the snitches and the pedos that time. Yeah. That's right. Which one did I do? And I was very neutral. I didn't pick a side. Crucially. Let's just enjoy them both. Yeah. He was just walking around and going, Ballon d 'Or, Ballon d 'Or, Ballon d 'Or. Yeah. You're shit. Yeah, yeah. You're dreadful. You're even more dreadful.

18:19I, my uncle, who died a number of years ago, was a real political activist. Right. Political activist. And he... Which side? Oh, no. Oh, like almost communist. Right, okay. And he spent, I can't remember how long it was. I'll have to ask quite literally my giddy aunt this. It should be your fizzy aunt. Indeed. He spent a little bit of time, it was maybe a night or two, something like that, in jail. And because he was on some rally or whatever, and they rounded a few people. Again, you're going back donkey's years now, 60s perhaps. And so perhaps they were, I don't know, more or less studious there.

19:06But anyway, a few of them, in you go. and they realised they'd made a mistake with him that he shouldn't have gone inside actually he didn't really do anything wrong but he knew this and they said hang on you know nonsense and he was like no no it's fine and they were like what's going on here and he basically wanted to go inside a jail just to see what it was like which is flipping mad if you think about it what was it like he said it was lovely in there no he did I was making the point about something else so I'm on the final level of Mario Brothers I need to complete it I think he was to make his to give more weight to maybe some of the arguments or some of the things he was like I know what it's like social capital basically to have been inside yeah to get a bit more knowledge kind of thing basically voluntarily voluntarily went to prison for like a night or two whatever it was which is crazy yeah would you do that it depends what type of prison I mean Wyrmwood's Cup is not that far from where I live so yeah I could do a couple of nights in Wyrmwood I don't think it matters how far it is from where you live you asked me would I do it you asked me yeah but at some point I've got to leave it's commutable it's commutable exactly so if England were to win the World Cup this summer but you get put in jail for how long we're going to tell we're going to do an experiment here we go you get put in jail for a week for over celebrating but what type of prison you've got to state that Wormwood Scrubs around the corner from your house that's maximum security it's not around the corner from my house but it's I don't know probably about 45 minutes alright Belmarsh then Wandsworth yeah okay Is Wandsworth maximum security?

20:37I don't know Someone Google it Vish You're not involved Come on I'm doing the heavy lifting here Vish is genuinely just tapping away And he's not Googling this I'm looking up Ned Kelly I'm over celebrating So you get put inside But England win the World Cup Yeah You have to do a week inside Belmarsh Yeah Is what maximum security? Yeah Week inside Belmarsh Normal wing Not with the snitches and the pedos But not in the solitary Yeah Would you do a week? No I wouldn't do a week A day A night One night World Cup glory. Yeah. But a full 24 hours, not like, oh, you've got to check out at 11am. Yeah.

21:12Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a 10 % chance you get shanked in the chow line by a sharpened toothbrush. Yeah. Shanked or shanked? You choose. It's only a day. You don't necessarily have to have a shower. But do you know what, Vish? I've often thought that people really underestimate the psychological impact of having to spend even just a night or two in a prison. I think it would be genuinely horrible. Oh, it would be terrifying. But, World Cup glory. So, yeah, you replaying the Harry Maguire headed winner over and over in your mind. Wouldn't that be... If I could shape it all the way to the final with who scored and all the rest of it.

21:47That would be your protection though, wouldn't it? If you went in there. Yeah, if you went in there and people were like, what are you in for? It's like, well, I made this deal basically that England were going to win the World Cup. No, he gets arrested for over-celebrating. He shoves a flare up a car. I like the idea of it being a deal though. Yeah, but you'd be like, well, you know, over celebrated but like oh so they're totally unrelated yeah he's the one who puts the flare up his ass okay he gets arrested and then kicks off at a copper swings throws a few hands no no see I'm not doing that why not no you get to lump a copper on the way it's a bonus isn't it that's no don't incite violence one of my friends is actually quite a senior police officer now I would never disrespect the police officer police force police service yeah I wouldn't mind it in him that'd be fine yeah it's just because Luke's out of reach yeah he's quite a senior police officer and I know exactly what he's like.

22:31Oh, right. So it's fine. What I love, and I think America's at his best, is your log cabins in the forests and all that sort of thing. Oh, yeah. You could do that everywhere, anywhere there, couldn't you? It's not the same vibe. It's not the same vibe. Marcus wants the full Bon Iver. Yeah. Don't you? Is he from a last... Bon Iver did a record called For Emma Forever Ago where he, I think, had some kind of personal trauma or breakup or something and basically disappeared into a cabin in the woods I made a record it's a brilliant record okay doesn't sound I would prefer make the perfect podcast no one to listen to it I would prefer Bon Jovi not Bon Iver yeah Bon Jovi Bon Iver so yeah I know you went I could see you so you can imagine Marcus he's disappeared to a cabin we know about it and we thought we'd just go and check on him lay your hands on me lay your hands on me as we get closer and closer to the cabin because I know we just hear a you can smell the fish Roasting on the fire Outside The dead drifter in the creek Yeah He's killed You don't have to go into murder It was you or him It was you or him Yeah it's not murder It's self defence He swung at you with a spanner He took him down He tried to steal your boat It was just Oh a boat on the lake Yeah So all that I love honestly I do love America Love going there I would suggest that you like But that whole Feed off other people's energies I think You like talking to people me and Luke don't necessarily Luke loves talking to people no I'm really good at it I don't like necessarily doing it I'm fantastic at it what a pompous view we're quite we're quite solitary we could get away with speaking to nobody Pete once got really angry with me because I had a conversation with someone in a vape shop in Northampton yeah he's talking about vape culture but I was genuinely interested oh I feed off the energy he feeds off the knowledge he wants to read the room though no what are you talking about I will take not being able to read the rumour from.

24:27In the mere fruit. Can I just say, there are several people in my life that I will take not being able to read the rumour from. You are not one of them. Yeah. Absolutely not. I've seen your small talk attempts. But sometimes though, to sort of, I don't know, back up or help look out here or whatever, is sometimes there's reading rumours. Sometimes you want to bring a new narrative to the room. Exactly. I'm setting the tone. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Yeah. No, you're right. I do. I mean, especially in America, maybe not so much now, although the last few times I've been to the North East, like New York and doing ramble stuff.

24:57But I do love the fact that, again, in some places, some Americans will listen to this guy and you're talking out your ass. But the English accent does... They say ass. Well, they would. Talking out your ass. But they... You're talking out of your tush. You're talking out of your... You're fanny. You're talking out of your butt. I always like your American accents are always... Talking about your fucking anus. That's the... You either... You've learned to do slightly different tones from Bernie Sanders. Right. Or Sanders. He's great. He does a great sound. Go on, a bit of Bernie. I can't remember a set of Bernie.

25:25Just how's he talk? Just do a little. Yeah, kind of. Did you see Jesse Ventura? Stop dodging it. He sounded a bit like that, didn't he? Jesse Ventura. Come on, Bernie. Go in front of the run in Minnesota. Just feel it. Just feel your way into the Bernie. Ah. Good morning, everyone. No, I've gone to... You're right. I've gone straight into Vince McMahon again. He's like a very New York Jewish older bloke. Ah, you... Ah, you... I think we should have universal hair. Okay. he's lost it Tony Soprano how have you lost it I don't know I've lost it if we start doing can you do it can you do it I can't do Bernie but I can do the tour guide not tour guide the tour manager yeah of our show when he was talking about not Bernie Sanders then no but he but that line when Pete just decided that he was not going to fly home with us he was going to go to Milwaukee instead and we told him he was like he was like I don't get that I mean Milwaukee's nice but it's not like hey I gotta go there yeah that's exactly how he sounded get him a slip slip and do Bernie.

26:24Yeah. You lost it. Stop saying that, making that noise. Good morning, everybody. That's more Al Pacino. Yeah. Yeah. She had a great ass. It's just all great New Yorkers. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Have you heard of a sub-genre of music called Egg Punk? No. I'm not making that up. I'm really pro-it already. You'll need less of an explanation. My friend Woody is a brilliant multi-instrumentalist and just the most passionate music man to the point where he just listens to music every waking minute of every day and he loves those different types of genres and he's always getting into new stuff and he sends me stuff and you might like this and normally it's like terrible like black metal or something and then sometimes he'll be like oh yeah don't listen to that I just found out it's really hard to tell because of the lyrics but I think they're Nazi so don't listen to that that kind of stuff right can you separate the art in this case I don't think I don't think you need to be getting involved in that but he sent he sent me an eight hour playlist that he had put together and it was just called Egg Punk and I was like what the fuck is Egg Punk has he created this genre no he hasn't created it he discovered it existed and he was like right I'm going to find as many Egg Punk songs as I can and basically I said what is it is it punk about eggs and he said no it's punk music but it's just a bit eggy right and I was like what do you mean you've got to listen to it and I listened to it and it's spot on is it a bit discordant It makes you feel about uneasy.

27:53Yeah, a little bit kind of lo-fi DIY. And I was like, I had to admit, after two or three songs I was listening to. Well, let's have an example of a track. It was like, I was like, yeah, this is a bit eggy. I want me to play it out. Of course. Yeah, but you want to sing it. I'll tell you what would be a good example of it. I said the very top of the genre is a, I don't know if they would necessarily count themselves as this, but I'm going to put it out there just to give you a descriptor, is that Smoko song by the Chats. Yeah. That I played to. I'm on Smoko. So leave me alone. I'm on Smoko. I've heard you the other day the Australians it's that kind of stuff makes you feel a bit hung over big time got that same sort of like absolutely kind of thousand yard stare what am I doing with my life it's basically quite raw yeah it's very raw very DIY very kind of lo-fi the bands are called things like I've got some of them here Alien Nose Job what about The Business have you ever heard about The Business Skull Cult and Busted Head Racket is three of the names again if they are like terrible people with awful...

28:52They could be. We don't know. Don't shoot the messenger. There was a band I remember... I've heard the muff divers are fine. I remember there was a band called The Business, which were like old cockney skidders. Again, if they're awful, forgive me, but I'm unaware of them being... But they had a song. This was when I was a student. I remember someone told me this. They had a song called Hell to Pay. Oh, did they? It's gotta be hell to pay! Yeah, that sounds familiar. Yeah, I thought you might know, but that is... Eggy? I thought it was a bit eggy. Yeah. I mean, to me, the absolute standout, standout song and artist combination of this egg punk genre is Brute in the Bathroom by Perverts Again.

29:33There you go. Imagine you're going to go to a party with some family members. I'm in a band, yeah. Perverts Again. Ole, ole.

29:42Anyway, lads, I... Sorry, Perverts Again. I'm lit, I'm lit. Yeah. Nicely done, Jim. Very good. You see? can I bring something to the table which really tickled me that I was hoping we were going to do on the show today I would love you to do that we didn't have time so I'd do it now please have you seen this stuff that came out from Henrik Mkhitaryan's autobiography love it absolutely love it right so Mkhitaryan's released in the autobiography presumably he's a big deal in Armenia right I mean that's very safe to say I've never been to Armenia to any of these if he's not a big deal you'd hope so I know he's who else have they got I know he's still playing like a really high level where's Tony Blair so Tony Blair McEterian is his full name you're a bit harsh on Blair on the main show why because you were like insinuating that he was just like utter shit where's this come from pathetic isn't it Bish unbelievable I'm just saying considering what's come from after well exactly in a way it was his fault is it some of it is you don't blame Nirvana for Puddle of Mud do you you don't blame Libertines for the Pidgin Detective you don't blame Luke Moore for Vision Hunter Roger the most annoying thing about the Pigeon Detectives is actually coming out with a song that simply let's dance to Joy Division that's the wombats wombats oh is it yeah embarrassing from Fish whatever one of them Pete Donaldson they're both as bad as each other call it Indie Landfill ask Pete Donaldson about the idea of his broadcasting career when I think it was Absolute Radio sent him all the way to Leeds to interview the Pigeon Detectives you gotta go still on the phone no you can't do it on the phone anyway Mkhitaryan's put an autobiography out presumably it's targeted at the Armenian market guys and I know he's still playing at a top very high level but he's one of those players you don't think about him as much and so when he pops up it's surprising he wrote in his autobiography about what his relationship was like when he was at Manchester United under Jose Mourinho and the quote is absolutely amazing it's good isn't it I had lost my patience with Mourinho I said to him you have been criticising me for two years you are shit he said I never want to see you again he would not say a word to me in training he's a manager right one of his players he would not say a word to me in training but every night he'd send me a text saying please leave so I can get Alexis he'd say a WhatsApp every night Mickey please go away so good isn't it so so good please go away I'm just saying like I want to get Alexis blue ticks no response yeah 24 hours later please go away it's just unimaginable imagine having a job where you've got people working for you and you don't speak to them all day and in the evening you just text them when they're having a little bit of dinner saying you're shit please go away Vish we want Brassel back Jose's sitting on his couch next to his wife and she's like what are you doing he's like oh nothing oh sentence yeah but Lampard and Terry said that didn't they that he would text them like of an evening and go what are you up to and he'd be like oh I'm just sat down I'm watching this documentary and Jose would be like, I am, I'm watching it as well.

32:47Yeah, it's really good. And he was like, and they would think, oh, it was a conversation. They'd be like, yeah, and I really love the bit. I couldn't believe that, you know, they actually, you know, didn't, it wasn't, it wasn't a lackey that built the pyramids. How about that or whatever? And nothing. Yeah. Nothing back. Like what? And Lampard's thing was like, is this a test? Yeah. Should I not be watching TV? He should do it all the time. I've just sent a message, text message to a producer Finn

33:15he's right pissed off is there a bit of previous there's something about that he's friends with Don from Goalhanger oh is he who's Don from Goalhanger just a producer at Goalhanger I don't know Don just a little Mourinho guy I've heard his work John Terry also said John Terry did the Simon Jordan podcast quite recently he was probably messaging loads of people that time of night no but he said he said what are you oh sorry no the doc yes great a year ago even like a year ago he said Jose Mourinho called him right he was sitting around at home his phone started ringing and it was Jose Mourinho and he said I know it was a FaceTime it was a FaceTime call and he said without even thinking about it I found myself tidying the room getting in position ready to because I was so nervous about why he was ringing and apparently he's just ringing him to say I hope your family can't do and that kind of thing but he said even now he's got that kind of pull over me thank you for listening head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to become a friend of the ramble and never miss another episode of uncut plus you'll get your hands on ad-free shows and become a member of the football ramble discord video there

34:30the football ramble is a stack production and part of the a-cast creator network

34:43Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester, Wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place. Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love with fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer.

35:18The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps, set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test, available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast. Hey, I've got the campaign brief ready, built from last quarter's data and the competitive landscape. Approved? Oh, agents, where would we be without you? Somewhere with a lot more tabs open. Create your first Monday agent in minutes at monday.com.

35:56Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.