The Emperor’s New Broom

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4:46Boys, it's Firsty Thursdays. It's Firsty Thursdays. In the Student Union? In the Student Union, it's Firsty Thursdays. Hey, in the USSR, Thursday meant fish day. So what kind of fish are you going to be eating today, Luke? Oh, you put me on the spot there. Before I answer, can I just say that I do think in another timeline, if things have been slightly different, you would still be running events in the Student Union now to this day. That's definitely the energy you breathe sometimes. Do I look like I could wear the clothes, I could pour the shots, I could drink the shots, but am I the sort of person who could organise anything?

5:20Probably not. No, that's why you're in a studio. All of my charges would get scurvy. All of the charges would get scurvy.

5:26Jim Campbell: You'd have a team of students around you, though. Right, okay, to make it matter. Right, okay, fine. You'd just run around saying things like, pre-kend! Where's Pete? He's on the bloody pinball machine again for crying out loud. Always firing at the pinball machine. That's his office. That's my office. I was like, that's like John Belushi character. By the way, I would like to add, before Jim weighs in, I like kind of all fish, really. I'm a very big fan of seafood, so I probably would be happy with anything, any old rubbish you throw up to me. Lips and arseholes. Lips and arseholes in a fish pie.

5:57Yeah, even if, I think I like fish so much, even if you came up to me like some kind of seabird and regurgitated it into my general direction, I'd probably still have a little sniff. Jelly deals? I've probably, actually. That's where I draw the line. I think it's just everything apart from jellied eels. I don't know why that's... Jim's from Essex. He'll probably be the jellied eel.

6:14Jim Campbell: I've never actually had a jellied eel. I've had eels in Japan, and they were really good. Yeah. But I imagine they're quite different, so I'm going to keep my powder dry. Eel generally is nice. Yeah, eels are right, yeah. Weirdos though, isn't they? Nice Chinese food with eels. I don't really like any jellied food. A bit of jelly in a pork pie? Nah. Puts me off. Aspic? Reminds me of pet food. Bit of aspic? Reminds me of pet food. Is aspic food? Aspic's food, isn't it? isn't it meat jelly aspect by the way in the intro Peter did you say that Man United get a comb over a comb over that's very good I added the Bobby Charlton little nod to a great Man United player Bobby Charlton there yeah I was trying to work on I was going to go for you've heard of AI slop well here's Armadi Iarlo slop A A Armad A Iarlo without the D AI slop doesn't work it doesn't work it doesn't work because Armadi Diallo was actually the only good player for Man United in the match that took place last night in Como.

7:15Como 4, Manchester United won. Michael Carrick may talk about having nine first-team players ruled out for the game, but that, to Marcus Speller's credit, he was very much on board with the Como win here. But I don't even think he would imagine that it would be a 4-1 defeat, Jim Campbell.

7:36Jim Campbell: No, and I mean, credit starts with Como, right? They played such a dynamic, interesting game. Their passing game was excellent. And it's one of those situations, Monaco are a bit like this, but I think this is even more extreme. You look at that team, that stadium is very, very cool. The support is very, very passionate. For those players at the moment, is there a lovelier gig than playing for Como? It looks like so much fun and the quality of life must be amazing. There was a bit where Man United fans were having a scrap among themselves in what looked like a fucking stately home. Did you see it?

8:12They were having a fight. There was somebody cheap-shotted an old man, punching him twice right from the side. And, yeah, it's just this beautiful painting on the wall. It looks absolutely stunning out there. That's weird.

8:24Jim Campbell: Presumably this isn't in the stadium. There's not, like, a gallery in the stadium. Who knows? It was just a video that went viral, wasn't it, on Twitter. Right, OK, I missed this. Just a lot of Man United fans on the scrap. I mean, I think the biggest, it was bad. You know, it's hard to think of a kind of time in the Champions League that's been so bad, is it? Maybe. It's really hard to tell, you know, because there's so much. It's like everything everywhere all the time with them. I saw some people on Twitter talking about when they were beaten by Barcelona quite badly in the mid-90s. Barcelona had an amazing team then.

9:00They did, yeah. It was probably when United were still trying to find their feet in Europe and Ferguson talked quite extensively about that era. So I don't know if that's directly comparable, but I would say that there are defeats and there are defeats, right? Losing away in the Champions League isn't necessarily the worst thing ever because there's so many good teams in it and Koma are upwardly mobile. They're an exciting team. They're exceptionally well coached. We've talked on this show and Andy and the guys have talked a lot on OTC about how Fabregas goes about things, how Koma go about things.

9:34And everyone, really, certainly Man Utd players and coaching staff should know exactly how Koma go about things because it's been a big story. And the biggest criticism you could level at them is they just didn't look ready. They concede a goal in 90 seconds or whatever it is. After a Man Utd chance as well. It was a pretty serviceable chance that they should have built upon. but they concede to a player who they then just give the run of the place I mean he's a lovely player to watch he looks great he wears number 10 for a glamorous Serie A side he looks the part he's got the Alice band he's technically amazing you know it was great to watch but to me it's like I just feel like unless you're going to put neon lights and arrows over everything you should know what's going to happen here And I don't buy the fact that, I mean, you alluded to it in the intro, Pete.

10:33I don't buy this idea that Luke Shaw or Benjamin Sesko or Manuel Agate or Aidan Heaven or whoever else it is they list who's not available is going to make this better. Luke, can I jump in with this? 660.4 million five-year net spend. Give it a real gravitas, that. Yeah, I think so. yes i think so yes um yeah it gave it a real gravitas um and and i i think it's really terminal now i i think the manner of it the energy around it the kind of the the way it happened the intangible part of that is just it's it's terminal really and it's terminal again because it's a cyclical thing right and you know some people on twitter you know who i think are good have been saying things like, I mean, I'll bring it up.

11:27It's a guy called Gavin Cooney, who I think is great. He said that we're now just in this particular part of the cycle and the next thing that's going to happen is this. And, you know, he basically said, you know, Conte will be next because there's now a demand for a glamorous tyrant to show these players what real work looks like. That'll be followed in 18 months by a giddy interim spell by an earnest club legend like Johnny Evans and then by an in-ease-coded ideologue with good hair, Eddie Howe. right that's kind of how it works at united and it's really difficult to see how they get off this kind of production line of of of mediocrity um and and then obviously then you throw into the mix you know for over to jim to throw into the mix the idea that you've now got another player coming out saying like super unhelpful shit that should be kept in house because he's so fucking pissed off

12:14Jim Campbell: yeah i mean i think one thing and obviously i'm no expert in this and this has been a problem that's been dogging United for cycles and cycles and cycles now. But one thing I think they could do to improve things is run. Why are they running? Why are they outrun by every team? This is what's kind of so interesting about it to me because quite often on this show, which we've been doing for a long time now, you get a team who really end up in the doldrums and they're bottom of the kind of running stats and not running is a problem. But they tend to be relegation candidates. They tend to be the teams where you're going, oh, they're looking at being like the worst Premier League team ever or it's a bigger club who are in trouble.

12:48Jim Campbell: I remember a long time ago now, I remember West Ham were really, really low down for it and they ended up getting out of trouble. But it tends to be the conversation you have about teams who are completely bereft. And it makes me wonder if they're sort of paralysed by kind of not really understanding quite why things have gone so badly so quickly this season. When they went into the transfer window in particular, having to qualify for the Champions League off the back of a weird season where they've not actually played that much football. But generally, things probably felt quite positive. They have a weird transfer window.

13:22Jim Campbell: Suddenly, everything falls apart. I don't know whether Bruno Fernandes is just so fed up with things at this point that he's down in tools a bit, or whether maybe age is catching up with him. Maybe having had to do everything around there for so long has just completely knackered him out. But he doesn't look himself. The midfield has been a problem for them for such a long time. And this looks essentially like a different version of it not working with him, not really kind of, you know, being given the platform to make his best performances. I also thought it was very interesting what you said about Nico Paz, Luke, because I think they did have a plan for him, which was just for Andres Santos to follow him around and kick him, which is quite enjoyable because he would do that and then Nico Paz would go full Argentina and just roll and roll and roll.

14:06Jim Campbell: It was actually quite an entertaining sort of subplot to the whole game. yeah it was easy for Como it was just easy for them there's a I get that and I think there's a precedent for that right you know G.S.L. Park would do that for United back in the day you know Martin Keogh and Arsenal was famous for doing it but that's quite reductive and it didn't work because he wasn't capable and because Nico Paz was too good for them and I think it's fine to lose a football match right I get it I fucking support Portsmouth you get used to it but I just can't I cannot get on board with the idea that you know United aren't being told or maybe they are being told and they're just not listening because you know there are a certain group of players who you know don't respect the manager or don't care or they're in this environment like I say of mediocrity the first thing I feel like the manager should be saying to them is they're not fucking hungry they're hungry they your bellies are full right you're Man United your bellies are full they're hungry right They're not going to ask for the key to this game.

15:09They're going to fucking break in. And you've got to be ready for it. And you cannot abide people who have signed, in the case of Tielemans, who ultimately is, in capital letters, a good player. That signing makes sense, right? It's a step up from Aston Villa to May 9 in terms of size of club. He's probably on paper exactly the kind of player you want to be bringing in. Great Premier League experience. Has done well in Europe. He's a great technical player. can show that he can survive the cut and thrust and the pace of the Premier League, blah, blah, blah. He looks anonymous. A player in a Champions League game against Como, he looks anonymous.

15:45And the hungry nature of Como was almost quite intoxicating to watch. But then United play their part in that because they just don't deal with it. They just don't look like they want to deal with it. And that's why it all has such an impact. It's not just the scoreline. It's not the fact that it's however many games it is since they've won a game. It's just the manner of it. And it's then compounded by Fernandes saying what he said. I do think there's probably a little bit more latitude for Fernandes as captain and the player who's been so good for them, despite all their travails over years and years.

16:19He's certainly got a lot more room to say the stuff he said than Martinez did. But it's still bad. It's just bad stuff. Shall we show you what he actually said? Bruno Fernandes was asked if Michael Carrick got his tactics wrong. He said, that's on the manager and staff to say, not me. Sometimes you have to be more brave under pressure, take the risk of pressing high and making them uncomfortable. As you saw with Como, the centre-back was coming to mark me in my own half. We need to do that as a team, but we were unable to. He was subbed off at 67 minutes. Was it the pressing that was kind of the issue?

16:49For me, there were just so many kind of situations where the intensity and their awareness just wasn't there. For their third, Karl Spalewa getting his pocket picked and they eventually scored from that. Remen's goal at the end there were two attending defenders neither looking interested in getting hold of Harry Maguire full hot dog costume hands in the air gone who was supposed to clear that Harry it was you it was always you mate it was always you

17:16Jim Campbell: also on that I mean Jacobo Ramon is a centre back and he's marauding forward to get on the end of one of those crosses it's like beautiful it's like some kids have found an unattended ice cream van that's unlocked they're just like get in now everyone pile forward we're having this so yeah I mean it was it's exactly the sort of conversation we've just had so many times over the years I mean you mentioned the stuff you've seen on Twitter you almost feel bad don't you that it's difficult to find new things to say but they do just keep repeating the same patterns get an AI data centre on it we need an AI ramble data centre to come up with new you know things and words and sentences to say about my United I don't need that I'm in the element here yeah be careful what you wish for mate exactly it's just a place where players go to die It's just a place where, like, ability and reputation goes to die.

18:07I think, you know, if you look at the contribution Mason Mount's made. I know he's had issues with injury and he's found it hard to get himself fully fit, but the numbers are unbelievably poor. Look at Joshua Zerksi, for example, and they're not benefiting from this constant flux and the different managers they have to work under and stuff. Zerksi's an exciting, young European prospect. it's like a running joke now you know there's so much to do there I maintain I said it two plus years ago I maintain that current iteration it's a totally unmanageable club it really is and if you look at since Ineos came in and took over on the kind of football operations you have to start wondering whether their position just becomes untenable because the decisions they have made and the way they've conducted themselves and the way they've gone about it is just so bad.

19:03And I think in any other element of kind of professional life, if you just consistently did this, you know, compounding poor decision after poor decision after poor decision, clearly there'd be questions asked. As I'm saying this, I'm thinking about, no, I probably wouldn't because in the way modern life is now, everyone just gets away with whatever they want at the very top level. but you understand the point I'm making. I cannot get over, just to summarise, I cannot get over the approach that was made to the game. It's either that Carrick and his team are totally asleep at the wheel, or he's drilled them about what to expect and they've totally ignored him.

19:41Because as Jim's allured to, they were outrun, they were outfought, they looked totally bereft of what was going to be happening and the tactics were totally wrong. And you don't need to take my word for that. If you're a main art fan listening to this, You don't need to agree with me. Agree with your captain. Because he said it better than me.

19:59Jim Campbell: It all just looks very basic, doesn't it, in terms of the tactical approach. And they just out-thought and out-fought far too easily. I'm actually surprised that it's got this bad this quickly. I thought Carrick had a bit of momentum about him and had at least the energy to do what we've seen needs to happen at Man United every now and then when they bring a new broom in, which is get it back to basics, make it fresh, get them running a bit and just do the simple things well but they're not even doing that. I genuinely thought they were going to fly this season just because of the continuity in every other team and the Premier League certainly were just in a bit of a state of flux but Well they had an opportunity to Pete that's the thing they had an opportunity to kind of you know certainly at least begin the process of breaking the cycle they've been in but they only really you know addressed one issue that they had on the pitch in the transfer market They just stacked the midfield and left everything else bare.

20:55Well, Matthias Delic did start for the first time in 325 tears after his back injury. He did a classy gesture. He gave his jacket to one of the mascots, which I think is a... That's a touch of class. And that's from a Gile fan. And that's from a Gile fan, exactly. Yeah, Man United are now winless in seven matches in all competitions. They are the first English side ever to concede in the first two minutes of back-to-back Champions League games. And that has to be a mentality issue. It just has to be.

21:21Jim Campbell: I mean, these Man United records, they just keep coming. I think that there's got to be some weirdo doing this as like a sort of full-time exclusive job where they just kind of lease out these mad stats about Man United's failure to any broadcaster. Yeah, they're called Opta. But there's got to be a Man United guy, right? Of course, I'm sure there's a guy who thinks of him. I'm sure there's an absolute boff-choff in there who thinks of himself as a bit of a Man United specialist. Very rich kind of furrow to plough, isn't it? Yeah. Is it United Strand, the guy with the stupid hair? Yeah. Even he's had enough, haven't he?

21:57Even he's... I think that was a joke on Twitter that I'd seen. I still think he's had enough. Oh, he's definitely had enough. I mean, look, he's clearly having a breakdown. And physically, he looks the same. Antonio Conte, as you mentioned, is waiting in the wings. Ashley Young has mentioned his time with working under Antonio Conte. And he said, I work with him at Inter. he's crazy meetings are long even up to four hours if he lost a game if United sign him and players don't run it's going to be a disaster he's obviously also wanted by his former club Juventus so we'll see how that works yeah also I heard that I heard that there's talk they're going to put Osama Bin Laden in charge of the anti-terrorist effort right nice really nice fit I mean Conte has been on manoeuvres for ages this is why he keeps being linked to it he obviously wants the job The simple question I would ask is, think about why he wants the job.

22:56Is it because he thinks he could do a really good job there? Or is it because it's a lovely fat pig that he can walk all the way to market? Because that's exactly what's going to happen. Because the only way United will... The only thing that will happen is United will pay him fucking shitloads of money, because they always do. And the fact that it's Antonio Conte makes that worse. and he can have a lovely gig at a club the size, big enough size to massage his ego, in a league big enough to massage his ego and then in about 18 months, if you're lucky, 18 months is the absolute limit. He'll have a gigantic public breakdown and the whole thing will go to shit and they'll be back at the start again.

23:39Yeah, don't mind it. Imagine him. What's good for the ramble? Yeah.

23:43Jim Campbell: Imagine him telling you everything wrong with you for four hours. none of these players want that there's different that may not imagine has approached the constant state of crisis just in different ways Michael Carrick is a super unemotional you know kind of quietly spoken fella and obviously he gets criticised for that you know Ruben Amrim comes out with quite weird stuff and that's how he dealt with it and as soon as he lost his job he looked about five years younger he got criticised for that Eric Ten Hag was also a kind of turbo weirdo and made some mad decisions and isolated a load of players on the altar of his stubbornness and he got criticised for that.

24:24There's lots of different profile of manager that have done this job and the result has always been the same. Shall we wipe down that altar in particular and eat our dinner off it, I suppose? Cristiano Ronaldo, Ten Hag has been speaking about basically saying that he just didn't work hard enough in training and he made promises that he didn't keep. And he was also just basically telling other players to not work quite as hard in training because you need to work hard in the matches and you're going to get tired and stuff like that. Which is amazing because you're like, Ronaldo is sort of known for one thing and it's kind of like hard worker, absolutely devoted to, you know, he's last out of training, he works harder than everyone else.

25:05But according to Ten Hag, that wasn't actually true. And he has been fined 255 euros, would you believe, by the Portuguese Football Federation. and he's been handed a 30-day suspension after leaving the camp last month. The suspension took effect from the day of the Denmark match, meaning that he's only served 21 days of his ban, so he won't actually miss any Portugal matches if indeed he wants to come back. It's not really a suspension, is it? It's like finding us an actual ant. Right, OK, nice. Would you submit your entire playing CV as part of your defence, which is what Ronaldo's people did?

25:40Jim Campbell: Yeah, I mean, the timeline of this is amazing. So after he left the Portugal camp, he said publicly that he wanted his punishment to be without mitigation. That's obviously for leaving the camp. And he then privately fought to get it reduced. He put forward his disciplinary record, a kind of catalogue of his services to football and kind of his general sporting merit. and also I think his contribution to establishing the facts of the case was taken into account by the panel as well but like what do any of those things have to do with him leaving the camp at his drop? It's quite something. He's found a way of making himself worse, Jim.

26:20Jim Campbell: I love his Karen era. This is what this is. Because at least you could say if he didn't do all this stupid stuff at least he doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. But the thing is I think he wants the credit for being humble, doesn't he? Which is why he said, you know, look, I hold my hands up. I don't want there to be any sort of mitigating circumstances in terms of how my punishment is dished out. I want to be treated like everyone else. But at the same time, he cannot get past the affront of being asked to warm up for 30 minutes and then not come on. It's just untenable to him. Well, absolutely. Let's move away from Manchester United and take a short break.

26:56Coming up after this, Arsenal put a shift in while Jack Wilshere's getting in scraps.

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29:19Welcome back to the football ramble. Like an iPhone down the toilet, rice saves the day, Jim Campbell. Bayern Munich 2, Arsenal 2. It started rather chaotically, a forced substitution within the first 10 minutes. Bakayosaka went down with a thigh injury, a certain ex-Liverpool footballer. Absolutely proud of the excitement with that, I imagine. and he was replaced by Eberaci Eze, who went on to have a fucking great game, Jim.

29:45Jim Campbell: He did, actually. Yeah, it was very, very impressive from Eze. Now, for those of you who watched the Nottingham Forest game, you'll know that he was hooked at half-time for Noni Madueke, who went on to score the winner, and he looked very down on the bench. He played brilliantly against Lille in the Champions League as well, also off the left, and I think obviously you get a bit more space in the Champions League, and it sounds mad, but you might actually get a bit more space against Bayern Munich in the Allianz Arena than you will against Premier League teams who are sitting in trying to frustrate you.

30:16Jim Campbell: And he used that space well. I thought his finish was really, really good but his work rate was excellent. He used the ball really smartly all night, shielded it well, carried it well and he put in a good defensive shift as well. You couldn't really ask for more from him. And I think he's in a position where the left isn't his most natural position. Calafiore spends a lot of time in the positions he's in as well so that's something that they're still kind of figuring out between them. You've been railing against this, haven't you? Not railing against it. My theory has been that I think actually Hincapié might suit Ezer as a sort of partner because he occupies different spaces.

30:48Jim Campbell: But he is an intelligent footballer. I think patience has been needed with him to figure out a slightly different position in the system. And I thought he did that excellently last night. I thought he was fantastic. yeah Luke did you enjoy the absolute cruncher that Esri Kahn is putting on Harry Kane Vish was on the WhatsApp going what's he doing what's he doing yeah I think to be fair Vish was going for his own trauma after what he'd seen at Como but I did enjoy that I mean I was yeah I kind of enjoy anything of that kind of nature in football generally speaking I thought it was a really high quality game and it might have been just because I'd obviously just finished watching Man United but But I thought it was a great game, like a properly enthralling encounter between two really good teams.

31:34And, you know, for example, you know, it felt like the stakes were high. It felt like a real precursor to perhaps the two teams that might meet each other later in this competition. So it was kind of that little kind of added frisson as well. Just the quality of like, you know, look at the first two goals, the quality of the Odegaard pass for Eze. And Eze still has quite a lot to do. on his wrong foot too yeah it's on his wrong foot but also what I would say as well on that is that he had a long time to come down that ball and you often see players snatch at it because they're desperate for it to come down quicker and he was really patient and I thought that was super impressive and then the ball from Kane for Davis' goal was just unbelievable as well I mean Kane was fucking amazing the way he played was just we are used to seeing him dropping deep and it's been a big talking point of course over the years but the extent to which he did it the extent to which what I found was I don't watch Bundesliga that much and I hear the stories and I see the highlights and I see occasional games but I wasn't I wasn't like 100 % familiar with just how much Kane is affecting kind of every aspect of the pitch for what is who is ostensibly a striker he was taking goal kicks at one point it was remarkable to watch and I actually thought a draw was a fair result I didn't think Arsenal deserved to not get anything out of the game Bayern were as imperious as they usually are at home and Arsenal kind of stood up to it.

33:01And I thought the Arsenal equaliser was a goal of great quality as well. I was pleased for Jocharez. I know that in the way that we cover football sometimes, it's always about goal return and stuff, but he played a crucial role in that equaliser. And Declan Rice was obviously a brilliant, great feat and a great finish. But overall, I just really enjoyed the game. I thought it was a really high quality encounter and a real treat, really.

33:20Jim Campbell: Yeah, I'll be honest, though. I did think at 2-1, when Harry Kane gets his customary penalty, which we seemed just absolutely intent on giving him, even though this one I think is one of those ones where there's a bit of a scramble in the box because your box is full of Bayern Munich players, so you've got to do something. It's a pen. I'm not saying it's not a pen, but there's always a pen. And that's frustrating from my end. After that, I was like, I'm not sure if we are going to get back into this because we're struggling to create much. But I was very impressed by the forcefulness of that move from Rice and Jokic.

33:50Jim Campbell: It's just the pace that Rice goes in there. It was really a true forcing of the issue. But yeah, back to Kane. I wondered if he'd seen that clip of that Walsall goalkeeper doing that absolutely incredible through ball. He was trying to sort of do them from the goal kick. That was one of the best parties I've ever seen. Incredible stuff. But yeah, I don't know whether he was playing a slightly different role because they were missing Musiala and missing Alise and Luis Diaz didn't start. But it was notable, wasn't it, how much he was spraying balls around like a quarterback. I know he's got a lot of assists this season and it is quite remarkable to see just how good Harry Kane is.

34:28Jim Campbell: There's very few players in the world playing at the level that he is right now. I was very pleased that Arsenal managed to get back into that game. Yeah, big saves from both goalkeepers at the start of the first half. It was one of those games with a real ding-dong energy, a lot of back and forth to it. Saka's going to be a big miss. There's been a lot of talk about him not being at his best level and maybe not at his most kind of eye-catching aesthetic level, but he's got four goals this season, regardless of that. So I'm hoping he's not going to be out for too long. It's going to be Maduweke, who I thought also did really well.

34:59Jim Campbell: It's a worry, though. I think the way he went off was a worry. Especially, it's one of those where he goes off without any contact from a player, and we're sort of conditioned to assume the worst in those scenarios. Yeah, I saw a quote on Twitter, I think might be absolute bullshit, so I'm going to say it anyway. just basically Harry Kane talking about Mikel Arteta encroaching on the pitch which he does all of the time he really gets involved but he's particularly bad at it last night I don't think the Harry Kane quote is true because it was a very long quote and it seems like a weird thing to really go on about for that length of time but I don't know why he's not pulled back for it more or yellow carded for it more because it was particularly bad last night, even I noticed that What are you talking about specifically?

35:46sorry Arteta just encroaching on the pitch literally just blocking players with his body the rules are vague in that I don't know what it is specifically under UEFA rules but in the Premier League the rules are pretty vague and I wouldn't be surprised if they Arteta and his team kind of know that there's no real kind of specificity about what they're allowed to and not to it's around like oh they have to stay in the technical area as much as reasonably possible or something like that but yeah he pushes the limits of it for sure i mean yeah totally i mean ultimately arteta you've got to respect him for what he's achieved but he's ultimately quite a weird bloke yeah of course as richard key said of arteta do something about this man fantastic that's got the same energy as when michael howard's tory party did the new labor new danger yeah yeah yeah massively but before we go obviously a lot of a lot of love and all the flowers in the world going to Harry Kane he became just the second player to find the net in 10 consecutive away for Champions League appearances the only other player to have done it is Cristiano Ronaldo who has the highest streak of 11 games so we'll see how that one pans out I don't actually know who Bayern have got next but Harry Kane has now scored 16 goals against Arsenal in his career he's only scored more goals against Leicester City so that's not bad is it Yeah, he is inevitable.

37:12Yeah, he is inevitable. After Rice's Equaliser, Darren Fletcher on commentary said that Martin Keown has held up a sign that says the unwatchables have become the undeniables. A sign. He was making signs in the studio. For little quips for Darren Fletcher. I know, I know. Why do we have to put up either of those? I don't know. I don't know. We should have a choice. I'd take an AI slop commentator over that, to be honest. did you see Luke that former Arsenal midfielder and Luke manager Jack Wilshere had a Tuchel Conte-esque handshake moment after the game against Barnsley he sort of went to shake the hand and I don't know what goes on in that moment does does does kind of the other manager kind of like do a little kind of Masonic attempt at a handshake a secret little bit of tickle of the hand and he takes the fence at that I don't know why does he get so angry so quickly It tends to happen when the other manager is annoyed at losing the game or not winning the game.

38:16And Daniel Stendhal, he's not been that good since he's been back at Barnsley, has he? There's a lot of chat that when he was at Barnsley before, he got kind of fired a little bit early and a bit unfairly. And I know people were upset about that. And now he's back. He was in Germany for a bit. And now he's back and it's not gone that well. And I think the manner of defeat probably annoyed him. But it's definitely something in the water at the moment. Because on Tuesday night, Portsmouth played Wolves at Wolves. And Wolves have got a lot of kind of we're too good for the championship energy. Which, of course, they went a goal up and then Portsmouth equalised.

38:51And they got pissed off. And their manager went mad at John Messinio. You could hear him saying, you talk too much, you talk too much. And had a big set-to after the game there. Then this happened as well. and also we saw a massive amount of aggression in the Premier League at the weekend just gone. There's a full Hunter's Moon coming on Sunday and people say that when the moon's doing odd things, the kind of crime rate goes up and violence increases. Apparently there's a big direct link to it. So my theory is that once we get through the full Hunter's Moon on Sunday night and through Monday and go back to the old whatever it is after that, Is it a waning gibbous phase or something like that?

39:32Everything will calm down again, Pete. So that's my best guess at an explanation.

39:35Jim Campbell: I mean, my highlight of this whole thing was that long after Wilshire and Stendhal were out of the picture, it was still just going on with the staff. And I imagine, based on what I know of Luton, that it is still going on this morning. And it probably looks a bit like Paris does. But I like the fact that Wilshire, who is still, you know, he's only 34, so he's still a young guy as a manager. Because he did a little pointy finger saying, almost to say, you're not bullying me, mate. We've won this game and we're happy with that. You're not going to bully me. And I quite like that, even though I am broadly against Luton as a concept after all the things they've done.

40:08They've got a nice airport. They've got a lovely ground. They've got a lovely train. You have to go for a house to get in the ground, as we got told every single week when they're in the Premier League. Lovely. Well, speaking of scrapping, I'd like to turn to the old Nordic poem of Hovermal, words of the high one. Cattle die, kinsmen die, You yourself will die, but one thing never dies, the fame of a dead man's deed. Aston Villa 3, V-King 1. I thought there was going to be something in there about, but, you know, the real killing fields of Villa Park. No one comes out of there with anything. No, exactly.

40:44Villa got their 12th consecutive home win in European competitions against V-King last night. When Buendia missed that header, you thought, oh, maybe it won't all go their way, but a cool penalty from the man himself and a pretty tidy win.

40:59Jim Campbell: Yeah, I mean, the Tifo game's on point again as well. That's the first win. You won their up with that. The villain on a Viking longship. The Shields looked a bit like CDs at first glance, presumably of Birmingham musicians. But no one knows what a CD is now, so it's fine. Well, exactly, yeah. But it was, again, pretty routine stuff at this point, isn't it? Villa are obviously heavy favourites in this game, but you've still got to put those ones away. And the Ross Barkley European Renaissance, it just continues apace he's found his level at home against a Champions League debutante yeah it's great stuff Pete that's unbelievably harsh is it?

41:36yeah it is it's a brilliant near post header he scored in the last Champions League game as well twice probably won it he scored twice Peter alright fine so what more can he what more can he do other than obviously be producer Charlie's writing England call up in the live doc this is not a Marcus Speller show is not Marcus Bella short looking at it. You can just ignore that and no one will care. Yeah, I mean, Vicky got something to shout about. Christensen with a fine volley that they tried to pull away. They tried to take it away from him, but it was undeniable.

42:08Jim Campbell: It was a great finish. It was, and it was good for them to have something to celebrate coming all that way. It's a bit of a European adventure. Obviously, it's similar to Berta Glimp in that they have the plastic pitch at home, which is very, very tricky for opposition. for opposition. So there's certainly one to keep an eye on, I think, in the competition. Another one to keep an eye on is, is Allison for Aston Villa. I had a really, really impressive game. They signed him in January, but he only made three appearances last season. But from what I've seen of him this season, he's been really, really impressive and a little bit of a gem that might soften some of the blow of losing the players they lost in the summer.

42:43He's only young as well, right? So he's probably just blooded them in slowly. You know, we talked about Emery's Villa, just full of admiration for them, the players they lost and how they keep going. And although they've kind of not quite been able to maintain that amazing home form domestically to its heights, it was a year or two ago, where they just went almost like a whole year without losing the game. That's their 12th consecutive win at home in Europe. And they're now at the big table. Obviously, they did what they did last season, but they're now at the big table. Viking are newcomers here and will struggle in terms of budgets and all that kind of stuff.

43:18But Villa were good last night. When Buendia missed that header, he didn't take into account the spin of the ball, did he? He couldn't believe it. But he dispatched his penalty with pretty good aplomb. So, yeah, another good win for them. They look absolutely nailed on to get through this group phase again. Obviously, when they did that last time, they only narrowly were knocked out by PSG, right? And they gave them a scare at Villa Park as well. Yeah, and they're going to be a problem for anyone. They are. The PSG were playing Man United last night. Odds felt like it in many ways. That's what Man United made them look like.

43:53They are starting to really pick up Villa. And you kind of hope that they continue their run in the Premier League as well. Did you see that Alejandro Garnaccio almost got his first goal since moving to Villa? I know he's much maligned and stuff. And people are kind of like, you know, thinking that maybe it probably wasn't the best move. But I kind of want him to be a success, Jim. He deserves it, doesn't he?

44:18Jim Campbell: Yeah, I feel like there's a player in there that we saw in his kind of early days at Man United. And, you know, not just from that incredible overhead kick that he scored, who you felt would have kind of blossomed by now. And it hasn't quite happened because the moves he's picked are perhaps wrong. And obviously Man United is a different environment. I don't think he's helped himself as well in terms of, you know, falling out with people here and there. But yeah, I know what you mean. I think he is one of those players where he is... I'm never naturally going to like him that much. He's got a massive tattoo of Heath Ledger as the Joker all across his back.

44:55Jim Campbell: And he's an obvious wally. But at the same time, he's an entertaining player, isn't he? So, yeah, I mean... There should be a little badge on the Premier League... Next to the Premier League badge, saying obvious wally. Allow me to summarise the Ganacho phenomenon. Clearly a very talented player. you know, no one can really deny that, but just undermined by the fact that he's a genuinely bad guy. And that really is just the end of it. Yeah, I mean, Unai Emery is very good at getting a tune out of these sort of players. He'll probably be quite frustrated that he couldn't do it with Jadon Sancho.

45:30Jim Campbell: And to a degree, Harvey Elliott, although those situations are very, very different. So, I mean, maybe Garnaccio is going to get all of that energy. He's going to be his biggest challenge yet, I would think. Maybe. Well, either way, rest now, brother. we have the watch we'll see you in Valhalla as soon as I saw Vee King in the road I knew you were going to do fucking Cash Patel I will see you in Valhalla tonight in the Europa League Sunderland face Les Poznan at quarter six in the evening we've got Crystal Palace versus Besiktas we've got Bournemouth versus AC Milan and Celtic versus Saltovigo all at 8pm it's a lovely picky tea of Europa League fun isn't it?

46:08it is someone who supports the South Coast club who also never thought they'd ever play AC Milan at home in a European game. I wish Bournemouth all the best tonight. Good on you, Luke. That's very lovely. Because they're not real rivals and it's not really a proper big South Coast club. So enjoy it. Enjoy it. Enjoy it. In Conference League, much maligned heart stick. Just Trav Bonsport on and Brighton visit as Shablonik. So that's it. That's it for us on a Thursday. You're doing a little BBC news bullet at the end of the show here just let people know what's happening. Just letting people know what's going on, to be honest.

46:43I once did that on Absolute Radio. I read out what was happening in one of the matches and finished off by saying live on BBC Firefly. That's one of my favourite little stories. I don't know why you've suddenly gone into this kind of ITV3 energy of calling things picky teas all of a sudden. What are you going to do next? Do the postcode lottery? Drive a Kia Sportage and start talking about having Prosecco with the girlies. I'll have you know I constantly drink Prosecco. That's probably why my my acid reflux is so fucked. Thank you for listening to the Football Ramble. Part of the Aircash Creator Network tomorrow's soup will be vodka.

47:26Luke will be back tomorrow alongside Marcus, Vish and David. David's on. Oh, lovely. Suddenly getting pumped by the Poznan bouncy boys. So, good stuff. See you later. See you later. So say goodbye, Jim. Bye. And it's fare thee well from me.

47:48The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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